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(Musical flourish)
♪ Do you adore me? ♪
♪ Am I everything you wish you had? ♪
♪ Or am I everything you detest? ♪
♪ Do you adore me? ♪
♪ Am I everything you wish you had? ♪
♪ Or has the taste of my skin on your tongue turn bad? ♪
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪
♪ They only called me insane ♪
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪
♪ They only called me insane ♪
♪ And now I'm living blithely and plentiful ♪
♪ And I'm going insane ♪
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪
♪ They only called me insane ♪
♪
♪ I can see what I'm feeling ♪
♪ I can feel that I'm sinking ♪
♪ Yeah, the water is freezing and I want to go ♪
♪ I can see what I'm feeling ♪
♪ I can feel that I'm sinking ♪
♪ Yeah, the water is freezing and I want to go ♪
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪ HER DIFFERENCE
♪ They only called me insane ♪
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪
(Lyrics muffled under headphones)
♪ They never called me b-b-beautiful ♪
♪ They only called me insane ♪
(Music stops)
Automated voice: Goodbye.
Hi, Katia!
Hi... Sophie.
Okay, I'll hold.
You okay?
Big change from our last space!
I liked working from home.
It's nice to be together in an open space.
I like it.
D'you see the email?
It's gonna be tough.
You mean the voluntary layoffs?
I'm not sure how "voluntary" they are.
I think we're all gonna get the axe.
But since I've been here for 5 years,
they may think twice before replacing me with an intern.
Don't stress out!
You're the smartest girl I know.
You work so hard, they'd be jerks to fire you. So...
Otherwise, have a nice weekend?
I saw Thomas and...
he took off for good.
Really?
So you broke up?
He dumped me like a piece of shit.
No! I'm not sure I wanna hear it.
Spit it out.
He was a huge bore and completely useless.
You're a real pain in the butt.
What fucking compassion!
But thanks for not saying so before.
It won't be hard to find someone better.
Okay, stop! That's enough.
I'll get some dark chocolate on my lunch break.
It's great for depression.
There's sugar, but also magnesium, serotonin...
polyphenol...
Shh.
- I'm listening. - Omega 3...
No, sorry, I'm here.
Yes, it's for the authorization.
Exactly.
In that case, someone else has to sign.
Yeah, I hear you, but...
(Office din grows louder)
Katia!
Come on.
Am I fired?
No! That's not the subject for an editorial meeting.
Have a seat.
- Salut. - Salut.
Where are you on the power plant demolition?
- I should be done tomorrow. - Good.
Then you work for Julien on autism.
On the late treatment of autism in France.
Thanks for the precision.
Are you going to Somalia to cover the attack?
Yes. And I leave tonight.
I'll email you on the research.
Then Karim has a piece on the European reforms.
No, not Europe.
That subject doesn't interest me.
Not at all.
Unless you're a Europhobe, I'm just asking you to do your job.
And it'll go very well. "It doesn't interest me"!
Is there anything I'm forgetting?
- Questions? - No.
Am I fired?
You stay. The others, get to work!
So, Katia,
losing our big news show means the company has to change.
Plus, it's happening just as we're moving.
The first to go will be those who can be replaced by freelancers.
They make less money and we can hire them at will.
- I can work freelance. - It's not the same pay rate.
With your profile and ability, you could work anywhere.
- I don't wanna work elsewhere. - I don't want you to, either.
But I'm not the one who decides.
It's not for sure.
It'll be okay.
Katia...
I have a question, but I'm not sure if it's a good time. You okay?
I'll be fine.
My interview on autism has been pushed up.
As you know, I'm leaving for Somalia.
So I'd really like you to do the interview.
- Me? - Yes.
- I'm not a reporter. - Who cares?
The subject's a really nice woman who runs an organization.
Why not ask someone else?
I don't want another reporter stealing the story.
I can trust you. You won't stab me in the back.
I don't know the subject.
I know you. By tomorrow, you'll know more than a specialist.
I'll give you my questions, get someone to do the technical stuff.
I don't like the idea of doing that.
Please.
Knowing it's you reassures me.
Can I count on you?
- Yes. - Great. Thanks.
I'll send you my questions.
He suffers from severe autism. Since dropping out of school in 2019,
Yasine has made no progress.
What complicates his autism is his inability to speak.
(Phone ringing)
Not knowing how to manage his emotions,
his frustration...
(Phone chimes)
Hi, Katia, it's me.
I mean, it's Fred.
I'd like to talk to you.
I need to see you.
I suspect you're there. If you don't want to, okay.
But if you do, I'll wait a bit.
I'm downstairs.
I mean, I'm here.
I don't know.
I know we said we'd stop.
But...
I'm miserable without you.
But this has never worked.
It hasn't yet,
but that doesn't mean we never will.
I was offended that you didn't wanna live with me.
But the times before...
The times before...
I admit, I reacted too quickly.
You're not the easiest girl, either.
Yes, I know.
What'll we do?
(Door buzzes)
(Laughter)
- I've missed you. - So have I.
(Ringing)
- Hello, Mom. - Hello, honey.
- How are you? - Fine.
- Am I disturbing you? - Yeah, a little.
That's nice!
Well, you asked.
It's Sunday,
and you're working again.
No one forces me to work. I do it because I want to.
With your education,
it's such a waste.
- You could work at the... - European Parliament.
Or be a consultant. I know, but you're not me.
If I could have, I'd have gotten an education.
But you got pregnant.
I don't say that as a criticism.
Yes, it is, a little.
I just think it's a shame you don't get a job on your level.
But for once, you've held onto a job.
After all, it's up to you.
- Did you get my package? - Yes.
It sounds like you didn't like it.
Yes, but it's a wool sweater.
I know you don't like wool, but it was so pretty.
(Machine whirring)
What's that noise?
It's a coffee machine.
In your apartment?
Is it Fred?
You're back together?
I don't wanna talk about it now. We'll talk later.
If you like.
- Bye, Mom. - Love you, honey.
(Katia groans)
You okay?
She asked if we were together again.
And what did you say?
That I didn't wanna talk to her about it.
And... I don't know.
Because...
you think I came to your door
just to sleep together?
No, not at all. Stop thinking.
So you're for it?
Yes, I'm very much for it. Obviously.
On the other hand, your pillows... Really bad taste!
This one. I think...
Like this.
And this one, like that.
That makes me crazy. I won't be able to work.
- Go mess up your place! - My place isn't organized.
- I'm hungry! - I have to work.
The salad...
- The beef. - Thank you.
See? It was quick.
In an hour, you'll be home, at your computer.
So...?
It's a scruffy little fishing boat, but I'm attached to it.
When my buddies offered to sell it, I jumped at the chance.
In truth, it does me good to focus on something other than you.
You replaced me with a boat?
Yeah.
But it didn't work.
Obviously, I'm here.
I'll go back home to fix it up, when I can.
Now you say "back home."
Le Conquet's always been "home", even if I don't live there.
Jean!
Help me! Quick!
- Sir! - Jean!
Squeeze my hand, sir.
He's breathing.
You'll be fine.
Up we go, sir.
(Siren wailing)
(Sobs)
What's the matter?
Hug me!
Tighter!
Katia, I'll suffocate you.
I could've done more.
How? What you did was huge!
No, it wasn't.
- I'm going. - Let's go.
No, I'm going alone.
Okay.
Call if you need to.
♪
(Cat purring)
(Cat meows)
Seminar The Autism Spectrum
Take my glasses.
- No, it's okay. - Yeah, go ahead.
Thank you.
(Elevator bell dings)
- Thank you very much. - No problem.
Hello. What organization are you from?
What organization?
None. I'm here to interview Ms. Vainedeau.
Of course. The room at the end of the hall.
Walk past the large room.
It's the 2nd door on your right after the conference room.
There's a decompression chamber on your left.
- Have a nice interview. - Goodbye.
- Katia? - Yes.
Hi, come on in.
I put the chair there, to have a bit more depth of field.
Is that okay?
Not exactly...
Really?
I didn't have the time to really prepare.
But it'll be fine.
And the chair... is that okay?
The chair...
(Knock at door)
Hello.
France's passionate relationship with psychoanalysis
played a major role in delaying the treatment of autism.
At the time, autism was considered a mental illness.
I don't know if you know Bruno Bettelheim...
No.
He believed autism was caused by "serious emotional deprivation"
from the parents, especially the mother.
Oh, really...
But autism is not a disease, it's a neurodevelopmental condition
that alters how one interacts with their environment.
That's why I've devoted myself to this organization.
As an autist, I need that exchange with those who've had similar experiences.
Because you're autistic?
And president of the organization?
President is a legal function, a responsibility.
It's not as prestigious as we think.
We're all equal members here.
Yes, you can be autistic and run an organization.
And...
(Knocking)
Sorry to interrupt.
- Ms. Vainedeau, you're up. - Be right there.
Let me just take your mic.
But I think there are still
lots of interesting things to discuss. Could we continue later?
Later, I can't. But if you're interested,
stay for the conference.
Okay, why not?
Thanks so much for this exchange.
- My pleasure. - Goodbye.
Unlike our Swedish neighbors, for whom autism is a question of citizenship
as much as a social issue,
the funds allocated to families to educate their children
is worlds apart from the funds allocated - or not - in France.
We too often still find ourselves
in the sad classic pattern
of parents who can't find helpers
to assist their children at school, or in suitable places.
So mothers stop working to take care of their children.
And fathers have to work even more
because good support is very expensive.
The lack of funds is also felt
in delayed diagnoses, which take far too long.
Professor Bélanger...
I'd like to make one clarification, as a neuropsychologist.
In Quebec, for an adult diagnosis,
the average wait time in the private sector is 1 to 3 months.
That's good but...
Quebec is far to go for a diagnosis.
There clearly aren't enough sufficiently trained specialists here.
In fact, I'm often called to France for adult diagnostic assessments.
Let's move on to our research work.
High-functioning adult autistic women,
who used to be called Asperger's,
have great difficulty obtaining an accurate diagnosis.
There's an estimated 3 to 4 times as many men,
than women, on the autism spectrum.
But that's certainly an underestimation, for two reasons.
First of all, diagnostic criteria were established on a male population,
as is often the case in clinical research.
The second reason is that autistic women
are better than their male counterparts
at adapting and camouflaging themselves socially.
But it's still a learning process
that requires great effort.
That explains why a phase of social camouflage
can lead to considerable exhaustion.
autistic women
Hi, my name is Florence Mendez.
Today, I've decided to discuss
a disorder I have, which may not be obvious:
Non-deficit Autism Spectrum Disorder.
In fact, we say it's a disorder
because there's not just one form of autism.
Autism is a spectrum and we're all on different levels of that spectrum.
I discovered that I was autistic very late,
at the age of 30.
Hello.
Mom, it's a video call. Look at your phone.
Is something wrong?
- No, I'm fine. Why? - Katia, it's 6 a.m.
Want me to call back?
No, now I'm awake.
- What's the matter? - I have a question.
You always say I barely spoke when I was little.
Could you give me any more details?
Was I really antisocial or...?
- In fact, that's two questions. - That's true.
I had to rescue you on day 4 of kindergarten.
You couldn't adapt.
You were very shy, very afraid,
playing alone in the school yard.
You refused to participate in any group activities.
I can't say you were a very talkative child.
Yet, with your imaginary friends or your girlfriend,
you couldn't stop talking!
Katia?
Yes...
You still coming on the 28th?
The 28th or the 29th, I don't remember.
Ah...
You said the 28th.
(Sighs)
Then it must be the 28th.
See you soon!
Love you, honey. Bye.
(Dog barking in distance)
(Engine rumbling)
♪
(Gasps)
I love this song!
I requested it.
No way!
No, you're right.
(Laughter)
♪ (Unclear) ♪
♪ One-two-three, yeah ♪
Woo!
(Laughter)
(Punk rock music)
♪
♪ (Unclear) ♪
Whoa!
(Laughter)
♪
(Laughs)
♪
Woo!
(Laughs)
♪
(Rain pattering)
(Laughter)
♪
I wanna fuck!
(Laughter)
Katia, stop!
(Laughs)
♪
(Moaning)
(Screaming)
(Panting)
(Moaning)
(Panting)
(Laughter)
(Panting)
You hungry?
What?
You hungry?
You switch gears way too fast.
Sorry.
Want me to caress you?
Stop! Don't force yourself.
I just find it ridiculous.
That whole romantic thing. I don't feel stuff like that.
It's true, I like all that romantic stuff.
I'm one big cliché.
Or I could be the one who...
Stop! I don't like it.
It's crazy.
It's really crazy!
After all that? I'm stopping.
You working?
It's 4 a.m.
Am I really different than other people?
Is that really the conversation you wanna have now?
Please...
(Sighs)
Yes, you're very different.
Am I someone who doesn't like changing my routine?
Who checks things 1,000 times to be sure it's okay?
Who doesn't like people much? Who's too frank?
Hyper sensitive to light and noise? Often exhausted?
Who doesn't really understand irony?
"Yes" to everything.
Except for the irony.
It's not that you don't "really" get it. You don't get it, period.
Period?
But despite all your eccentricities, social phobia, compulsiveness,
I love you. If that's what's worrying you?
I'm just wondering if I may not be autistic.
Autistic? Okay.
Where'd that come from?
I may not check all the boxes. Some things aren't exactly me.
Some things used to be like me,
but not anymore.
I'm ashamed for even thinking it, if it's not that.
Some things match, but they match a lot people, so...
Yeah.
I know why you're getting so worked up.
You're so into your research that you identify.
Isn't it autistic people who can't look you in the eye?
- Yeah. - You see!
- Coming back to bed? - Yes.
(Rain pattering)
(Horn honks)
Why didn't you take cover somewhere?
You said, "On the square in front of the statue."
There's no cover there. And my phone's almost dead.
Okay, okay! Get in!
Take off your scarf.
Dry off.
Is this a new car?
Yeah.
The other one was fried.
Go on, say it.
I liked the old one better.
I knew you'd say that!
But this one works. It's more practical.
(Engine rumbling)
When I wanna leave, I leave.
Shit!
Are you mad?
No, why would I be mad?
There it is!
(Beeping)
(Door creaks)
- So don't give me shit. - You're a broken record now.
You can leave whenever you want.
But stay a while! Meet my buddies.
I'm here, okay?
(Shrieking and yelling)
Happy birthday!
- How are you? Present! - Thank you.
- Lucie, this is Katia. - Nice to meet you, Katia!
Come in! Make yourself at home. - Happy birthday...
Hi, Katia!
Nice to meet you.
- How are you? - Fine.
(Laughter)
(Conversation din)
(Speaking other language)
Now you've completely lost me.
I haven't spoken Arpitan in ages.
How is it you speak it so well?
I'm from Isère. Growing up, I learned several region languages.
Now I speak 7 perfectly.
- You're a linguist? - Not at all.
(Chuckles)
Then what use is it?
I don't know, I love it! And now I can teach others.
I volunteer on a regional language website.
Volunteer? I'd have loved to do that.
Great! You can teach me.
Live, not virtually!
Then we can get a bite together, huh?
- Get a bite together, huh? - Exactly.
Know what, give me your number.
It's 06...
06 or 07...?
- 06... - 06, like me...
And then?
- Matéo! - Be right with you.
No, she's Fred's girlfriend.
Shit!
(Laughter)
- I didn't know. - Now you know.
- If you ever break up... - No, no!
Just kidding!
Have fun!
He wasn't too pushy?
I'm not really sure.
I don't think so.
It's cool that you came.
- See ya? - See ya.
(Conversation din)
Katia, this is Nico and...
Aurélie. Hi.
Seriously? You don't remember me?
I'm from Le Conquet, too!
Aurelie, Tiago's girlfriend!
I used to be.
- So sorry. - No big deal.
Right, no big deal!
(Cheering)
Come on! Let's dance!
(Lively percussive music)
♪
(Conversation din)
♪
(Breathes deeply)
♪
(Cheering)
(Upbeat electronic music)
♪
- Katia, where you going? - I'm leaving.
Not so soon!
You said you wouldn't give me shit when I left.
Okay, okay.
Before you go, won't you just dance with me?
I don't want to.
Come on, Katia!
Come on, it's my birthday!
♪
(Cheering)
(Whistling)
♪
You okay?
♪
Katia!
♪
(Footsteps)
Katia!
Let me go!
(Panting)
(Beeping)
(Man speaking French on radio)
(Click)
(Sighs)
(Moaning)
- Did you sleep out here? - Yeah.
I didn't wanna wake you. But I didn't wanna miss you, either.
I'm really sorry about...
Please forgive me for last night, I'm a real jerk.
We should never have gotten back together.
I can't be how you want me to be.
So if you wanna break up, we'll break up.
(Sighs)
Is that what you want?
No, but...
We're too different.
No, not too different. We're just a little different.
Every minute I spend with you is so full.
That's what suffocates me, but...
I mean, you're... you're intense!
Yet, you're totally out of it.
Sometimes you don't get what's right in front of you.
I mean you're...
myopic to life!
And I love that. I love you.
(Light chuckle)
I wanna kiss you, but I'd better not.
Because my breath is pretty much illegal.
I confirm that.
(Door creaks, thuds)
What are you doing in here?
What are you doing here?
I just came to get a file.
Katia, I don't think you totally get the "open space" concept.
You could make an effort.
Jeff!
Next week, I need 2 or 3 days off.
But I'll work at home and won't be late. Is that okay with you?
Yeah, I trust you.
A family problem?
No.
Okay.
(Cat purring)
I've had several shrinks over several years,
who've said I was depressed, anxious, and possibly
bipolar.
I've taken antidepressants.
I've tried other medications, but nothing really helped.
Quite the contrary.
But the most violent period was my adolescence,
with depression, with...
a longing to...
end it all.
And your work?
I've gone from one job to another.
Either because...
I got fired
for not being enough of a team player.
Or because I couldn't keep up the pace.
People might think I'm lazy,
but it's not that.
Sometimes I'm completely exhausted.
(Sighs)
Then I look at others and I wonder how they do it.
At the moment, do you have a job?
Yes, at the moment, I have a job.
Which I love.
I'm a researcher.
But, unfortunately, that may end, yet again.
And I'll have to move back in with my mother
in Grenoble, in Isère, zip code 38660...
Are you in or have you had romantic relationships?
Let's say I've always had complicated relationships...
and sometimes fairly violent.
Have you experienced sexual violence?
No.
I don't think so.
I ask because that's common among autistic women.
Studies indicate a victimization rate of nearly 88%.
I received the questionnaires you sent me by email.
So if you're ready we can begin, okay?
Yes.
Select the word that best describes this expression.
(Sighs, mumbles)
Playful?
annoyed - sarcastic - worried - insolent
Sarcastic...
pensive - joyful - sad - amused
Sad.
As a child, did you like to play alone or with other kids?
Alone.
Except for Pauline, my neighbor.
I loved spending time with her.
She was my best friend.
Back then, what was your favorite activity?
I loved to draw.
I loved drawing the planets,
the stars, the universe.
As a child, did you get along better with adults or children?
Adults.
And Pauline.
My friend.
(Ding)
Fred: Still working nonstop?
Yes
If the European parliament adopts the law, they didn't propose it.
(Keys clacking)
This internal server's a pain!
What good is a new office, if the equipment's shit?
(Ding)
Is that Fred?
Yes.
He's at the cafe next door, waiting for me.
Here, catch!
(Clunking)
(Chuckles)
(Crowd din)
(Phone ringing)
(Ringing continues)
(Sighs)
(Deep breaths)
(Click)
Hi, this is Fred. Leave me a message.
(Clanking footsteps)
Hey.
What was up yesterday?
Where were you? I called you nonstop.
What are you doing?
I thought we were having a drink alone, not with other people.
I never said it was alone.
Wait, so that means you came.
Fuck, Katia!
Let's not start again.
I accept your anti-social thing to a certain point.
We can't live cut off from the world, as if no one else exists.
It's not normal to constantly separate my love life from the rest.
Stop!
Don't get all worked up.
I don't want you to get upset.
- Katia... - Yes?
Look at me.
Yes.
What do you want me to say?
Do you realize that hurts me?
That you don't wanna share those moments with me?
I swear, it's stronger than I am.
Why do you need to prove to others that we love each other?
Because we're human. That's human.
I need to share what we experience. Or I suffocate!
Well, not me.
I suffocate with other people.
I need more.
I need you to express more, more affection, more tenderness.
I feel like I'm constantly begging. You've never been...
very demonstrative. But...
I'm sick of it.
- I love you, Fred. - Then say so.
Show me.
Stop being so detached, as if nothing moves you.
That's not it.
I'm not like that.
(Engine starts)
(Gym din)
(Deep exhale)
What?
How do you show someone your love?
You mean like desire?
Because there's desire, and desire.
Like, "I like you.
"Do you like me?" Flirting around.
Then there's pure lust.
I'm not talking about sex. How do you show someone you love them?
I don't know. It happens naturally.
It depends on the situation and who you're with.
But you...
Is it an effort or...?
A ton of effort! I'm not single for nothing.
Are you talking about Fred?
show your love
(Knocking)
Hey.
Can I come in?
Could you sit down?
Yeah.
Why?
Just sit down.
When I cue you, hit the play button.
- But not before. - Okay.
- Can you hit play? - Yeah.
(Sultry music)
♪
(Laughs)
♪
(Music stops)
Was it bad?
It's just not you.
Katia!
(Door slams)
Katia...
(Knocking)
Fuck, Katia...
(Deep sigh)
(Thump)
(Music resumes)
♪
(Laughs)
(Practicing other language)
(Laughter)
You've got me spouting gibberish!
Yes. I'm terrible at languages.
So now...
Be right back.
Thanks for the interview. It's great!
It'll take years to assemble, but...
- No way! - No.
Just a few hours.
- I'm sorry. - No.
It's cool. I have lots of material. Thanks.
Bye.
(Motor rumbling)
Are you prepared?
Let me know if you need anything.
Your clinical interviews and assessments
have clearly resulted in a diagnosis of autism.
(Sighs)
(Quietly) Okay.
Now it's important to discuss how autism manifests itself,
so you can identify how you function.
And so you can finally feel like yourself.
I'll give you certain characteristics.
Some will speak to you, others much less.
But they're very common among all autistic people.
Above all, a sense of being on display before others,
other than your loved ones.
A feeling of a lack of authenticity.
Perhaps a lack of social life.
Great difficulty in engaging in small talk.
The need to stay at home, in a reassuring place.
The need for strict routines,
so you can function at your best.
An anxiety of the unexpected can completely engulf you.
A huge appetite for knowledge,
which in your case must be satisfied by your journalistic research.
Extreme frankness. Too much, sometimes.
But also great loyalty.
It's important to understand, you're not incapable.
You're not inferior.
You're different.
Do you understand?
Yes.
I understand.
(Exhales)
(Emotive music)
I'm not crazy.
(Exhales)
Yes, I'm relieved.
I'm relieved.
(Exhales, laughs)
♪
- Hello, Mom? - Hi, honey.
There's something I have to tell you. - Is it urgent? I'm on my way out.
No, it's not really urgent.
Then it'd be better to talk tomorrow.
I'll be home late.
Tomorrow I'll be at the Gelbers. They have a lousy connection.
We could try!
But I'll see you next week.
Then we can chat to our hearts' desire.
Next week. Okay.
Okay?
Love you, honey.
Bye.
(Indistinct chatter)
(Beep)
(Whirring tone)
(Hissing)
(Whirring tone)
He's upset that I didn't recognize him.
I'm not like Katia. She registers everything she sees.
She's a hard disk. But I'm a soft disk!
The info I had... Gone, forgotten.
I'm a goldfish.
Have a nice lunch.
I'm happy you just dropped by.
- I tried to call you. - Sorry, I didn't hear.
What do you wanna eat?
I have something to tell you.
I went to be diagnosed.
- Diagnosed for what? - Autism.
You didn't tell me. That's not like you.
I couldn't have done it, if I told you. You didn't believe it.
Sorry, it's just so improbable.
Fine, it's done now.
No, you don't understand.
I am...
autistic.
I know, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
For sure?
Yes, for sure.
I didn't expect it to comfort me so much.
It's everything I am, I was.
Everything I feel.
I have the diagnostic feedback.
I think it would be good if you read it.
It explains a lot, so you can understand.
Maybe later.
It's kind of abrupt.
What'll that change? I mean, between us?
Nothing.
I don't think.
- I dunno... - Okay.
But I'm still the same person.
Finally!
Brushing your teeth for hours like that, you'll wind up with just gums.
Not hours, just 3 and a half minutes.
Really?
Let's see.
Great!
No, perfect gums.
Excellent job!
(Laughing)
(Laugh)
(Smooch)
A friend's playing at a bar tonight.
I don't know if you wanna come.
You don't have to, given...
all that.
You want me to come?
I'd love us to go together.
But I don't want it to be painful for you.
There'll be a crowd, noise, conversations...
Yeah, a concert.
- Yeah, a concert. - Okay.
(Indistinct chatter)
(Mobile dings)
(Indistinct chatter)
(Office din)
(Office din muffled)
Sorry, if I scared you.
Turn down the volume. Your phone's ringing.
(Office din)
Unknown caller. I'm not answering.
A new look? Ready for vacation?
No, but I have something incredible to tell you.
It'll have to wait. I'm running late.
I have a bunch of meetings.
I have to skip boxing, to see the company doctor.
Did you go?
Yes.
(Singing in French)
♪
(Bar din)
- I'm going outside. - Wait!
- Hey, Fred! - Johnny, how's it going?
- Hey, buddy! - This is Katia.
- Hi, Katia. - Hi.
(Smooch)
You okay? It wasn't too painful?
You wore headphones during the entire set.
Listening to something else?
No, it's to tone down the noise.
The "noise"... You really didn't like it.
(Laughing lightly)
Not at all. It's because...
(Bar din)
because I'm autistic.
Autistic?
- Yes. - You don't seem autistic.
(Bar din)
She is.
(Bar din)
Like Asperger's?
Exactly.
Like The Good Doctor, R ain Man, all that!
The brother who does all that wild stuff - counting cards, matches...
So what's your thing?
My thing?
No, nothing. I mean, I don't know.
- If I had a chick who... - Johnny, we gotta go, man.
It was a blast to see you on stage. Thanks!
And keep in touch!
Thanks, man!
Bye, Katia.
Still, you don't have to blurt it out like that.
- Why? Should I hide it? - No, not at all.
It's just that no one knows exactly what it is.
- I'm gonna get fired. - They can't fire you for that.
Did you tell them?
No, but with the redundancy plan, I'm sure to go.
Sure, they can always use the economic cover.
In any case,
if you're fired, you'll always find another job.
You don't get it. That's too complicated for me.
I don't know how to job hunt. I don't know how to sell myself.
Marie found this job for me!
I'm not capable of doing that.
You don't understand!
Calm down. We'll find something.
If you don't say anything,
no one will notice.
Like up until now.
(Outdoor din)
(Car starts)
(Engine sputtering)
(Bell tolling)
(Birds squawking)
(Bell tolling)
(Seaside din)
I know you don't like surprises. But welcome to my home!
Breathe in the sea air. That's what counts.
I dunno... This wasn't planned.
I have to be home tonight, to make progress on...
And you have to take some time for us, to warm up.
Here.
You have to kiss me.
(She laughs)
And you have to follow me. I have another surprise.
Come on.
(Gulls squawking)
There she is!
That's my boat.
(Footsteps and creaking)
Come on.
Give me your hand.
It's ugly.
I mean, you're not finished yet.
That's the point. Redoing everything.
Plus, it floats. And even better... Come see!
- Wanna take the helm? - No!
- Come on, take my place! - No!
You don't want to?
(Motor chugging)
- Stop! Eyes on the road! - They are.
(Motor revving)
(Whirring)
Are you okay?
(Whimpering)
I'll turn around, okay?
(Motor whirring)
(Motor humming)
(Office din)
Have a nice weekend?
Okay...
Didn't you have something to tell me?
Now I can't tell you.
Wow! Really?
Okay.
I respect your vow of silence.
(Conversation din)
(Bar din)
(Bell dings)
Hi! How are you?
Hi, Matthias.
How's it going?
Can I have a beer? Thanks.
Hi, there!
- Incredible. - Wild!
- How are you? - Fine. And you?
Too weird! What are you doing here?
I'm with friends who live around here.
- And you? - It's my hangout.
- Okay. See you later? - Sure.
Cool!
♪
Come here often?
No, it's destiny. Something in the air.
But it's always at cocktail hour.
We were meant to have a drink together.
- I'm off. - See you later.
Why not? It's weird, I don't see you for 15 years, then...
- You followed me. - I'm stalking you.
- A psychopath. - Yep!
Guys, I have bad news.
The bar's closing.
(Conversation din)
Feel like ending the night together?
(Conversation din)
Bye, Aurélie.
Good night, all!
See you tomorrow.
(Street din)
(Mobile chimes)
Give me a call... - Aurélie
(Street din)
How was your evening?
(Audio breaking)
The sound's broken up.
Hold on, I'm leaving the workshop.
You're not at the office?
No, I'm going home to work.
Their system crashed again.
Yeah, it was nice last night. What did you do?
I read a book.
Really interesting! About pain and autism.
It clarified so many things.
I remembered, when I was little,
I pulled out a tooth...
Katia, hold on, I'm on overload.
Excuse me?
We've gone from a word
we hardly knew to living in a world of autism.
Can we talk about something else?
You said it wouldn't change anything but, in fact...
It's not easy.
Hello?
Katia, say something.
I don't feel like talking. I don't know what to say.
I've had it. Let's talk later.
(Elevator whirring)
(Elevator clunking)
No! No! No! No!
I don't know how it's possible.
- We always used a condom. - No.
Once, we didn't right away.
That was a long time ago.
Two and a half months ago. Exactly.
You missed 2 periods and didn't tell me?
I'm not regular. I didn't realize.
I saw the company doctor. I was tired, so they took a blood test.
(He laughs)
What?
So what'll we do?
What do you mean?
I didn't think you'd even ask the question.
You say I can't handle a relationship. Now you wanna involve a 3rd person?
I don't know.
Plus, I just got a great work offer...
Really?
What is it?
A friend wants us to open a carpentry shop together.
That's great.
Where is it?
It's a childhood friend. In Le Conquet.
Uh.
It's far.
I didn't graduate from high school.
An offer like this is once in a lifetime.
And my work is here. I don't wanna move.
And the baby?
(Sighing)
I think I need to be alone.
Me, too.
(Sighing)
(Door clicking, creaking)
(Clunking)
(Purring)
(Doorbell ringing)
(Clacking, creaking)
- Hello! - Hi, honey.
- How are you? - Fine.
- I'm so happy to see you. - Yes!
(Smooching)
Come on in!
It's delicious!
You're not eating?
No, I'm not hungry.
I feel a bit lonely, eating alone.
But if you're not hungry...
Katia, what's the matter?
I'm so happy to see you and you sulk.
I have 2 things to say, but don't know where to begin.
You can tell me anything, honey.
The first is that I'm autistic.
Autistic?
(Laughing)
- Mom... - No way!
You can't be autistic.
You speak, you don't bang your head against the wall, as far as I know.
It's not just because you're a bit odd that you're autistic.
I know it's good to not be like everyone else, but still!
I've never tried to stand out from the others.
On the contrary, I've spent my life trying to be like everyone else.
Are you seeing someone?
Seeing someone?
I mean your shrink. Do you still see him?
No.
- Maybe you should. - But I've been diagnosed.
By whom?
By a psychologist who specializes in autism.
Who consults an autism specialist?
You'd think that's what you wanted.
I was tested.
And I know that's what it is.
It's the first time things make sense...
No, you're not autistic! That's nonsense.
If you're autistic, we all are. Is that the latest fashion?
After vegan, flexitarian... autistic!
Why are you angry?
Because it's ridiculous.
You don't turn autistic at 35!
And I'd have noticed.
What do you want, in fact?
To guilt-trip me for not being an attentive enough mother?
This isn't about you?
I'm not criticizing you for anything.
No one is.
I'm just telling you what is.
Just because you don't want me to be autistic doesn't mean I'm not.
I don't understand.
Nothing's ever right.
Don't think it was easy for me.
Constantly hearing, "Your daughter doesn't talk."
"Your daughter's too timid."
And I was alone. Your father was no help.
He was in his own world.
(Sobbing)
Here we go again!
You end the conversation when it suits you.
(Sobbing)
Katia, honey, we're talking.
Just talking.
Leave me alone!
(Sobbing)
Think what you like. But to me, you're not autistic.
(Shrieking)
(Shaky breathing)
(Rustling)
(Sighing)
Katia, didn't you have two things to tell me last night?
What was the second?
I think it'd be better if I went home.
(Birds chirping)
(Sombre instrumental music)
♪
(Door clunking)
♪
(Breathing)
♪
(Distant dishes clinking)
I got fired.
(Gasping)
Hold on... What?
- You? - Yeah.
You've been here for 15 years. You're a fixture.
And they're trying to rip me off on the severance terms.
- Did you see Jeff? - What can he do?
In any case, he dutifully obey orders.
It's disgusting!
We have to do something. Don't you think, Katia?
(Sobbing)
I've been looking for you.
Julien... it's horrible.
It seems you already know.
I'm disgusted, too.
But that's how it is.
So focus exclusively on European reforms and forget autism.
The autism piece is practically done.
I've made the rounds, no one picked it up.
Even the broadcaster's not excited.
It's dead, okay?
I wanted to discuss something,
but it's clearly not the time. Stop by tomorrow?
(Sobbing)
(Distant phone ringing)
(Honking)
(Distant sirens)
(Clicking, creaking)
Hey.
Hey!
I tried to call several times.
But you didn't answer, so...
I came. Hold on...
I've thought it over. I think we should keep the baby.
It's more important than a job or Le Conquet.
- What? No. - Yes.
We have to change things between us.
We have to be together more.
- No. - Yes.
What if it's autistic?
There's a huge genetic factor in autism.
I made an appointment for the abortion.
What?
(Distant honking)
Couldn't we discuss this together? There are two of us here.
You really don't give a shit about what I think.
I was making huge concessions to stay here with you.
What a fucking idiot!
You know what?
Live your life alone, if that's what you want!
(Door clicking, creaking)
(Shrieking)
(Sobbing)
(Laughing)
Great!
You're saving my life.
(Keys clacking)
(Sombre instrumental music)
♪
(Sighing)
♪
(Distant honking)
♪
(Meowing)
♪
(Meowing)
♪
(Tinkling)
♪
(Message dinging)
♪
You have 11 new messages.
It's Marie. I didn't see you today. Call me.
Received Tuesday.
It's Jeff. You didn't come in yesterday...
Message erased.
Katia, it's Marie again...
Received Thursday.
Katia, call me...
I'm getting worried...
Me again. I'm freaking out...
Message erased.
♪
(Car door thunking)
(Keys jangling)
(Distant dog barking)
(Distant sirens blaring)
- Hello, Katia! - Hi.
I'm glad you could come.
- Can I call you Katia? - Yes.
Coming in?
Look...
I'm not sure I'll stay long.
Stay as long as you like, go when you like.
No obligations.
(Sighing)
Okay.
- This is Katia. - Hi, Katia.
It's her first time here. Have a seat.
Welcome.
Know the concept?
We speak without judgement, no filters...
- Shoot! - Sorry.
I'm sorry.
(Phone ringing)
- Who's that? - It was Marie.
- A coworker... - No.
- There? - Oh, the wallpaper?
That's Fred, my boyfriend.
Well, he was. It's complicated.
No biggie. With us, it's rarely easy.
It's complicated for complicated people.
It's not complicated to be simple. But it can be simple to be complicated.
(Laughing)
There are several topics we wanted to broach today.
I think we could start with employment.
In terms of adjusting,
was that easy for you? Or more of a negotiation?
See you soon!
- Till next time. - Bye.
We have a meeting at the ministry that oversees disabled rights.
They must understand that, beyond the need for financial support,
the lack of visibility and information
keeps autistic people on the fringes of society.
So we need recent documentation.
I wondered where you were on the documentary you were working on.
It's not at all finished.
In fact, it's completely on hold.
It's a shame. We got some very impressive and exciting footage.
Would it be possible to get some of that footage?
I can ask the director.
Mom, can I go meet Lili? She's right over there.
Sure.
But don't go far. And be back in an hour, tops.
Sure, no problem.
- She's your daughter? - Yeah, the eldest.
Sometimes she comes here with me on Wednesday afternoons.
Keep me posted on the doc?
- Yes, yes! - Cool!
See you soon!
Thanks.
(Small engine revving)
- How's it going? - Hi.
Be right there.
- Is Fred here? - No.
I thought you knew.
He took 3 days off.
He's in Le Conquet, planning his move.
Oh, right.
What a mind-blowing opportunity!
He's gonna be boss of his own company.
He's so incredibly lucky!
I'm off. See ya!
See ya.
(Soft woodwind music)
(Sighing)
♪
(Purring)
Hi, how are you?
♪
(Knocking)
♪
(Clacking, creaking)
What are you doing here?
How are you? I was so worried.
(Sighing)
We're used to you disappearing for 2 or 3 days, but rarely more.
Are you okay?
♪
It depends in what way.
♪
Dark chocolate.
(Scoffing)
Can I come in?
(Sighing)
Yes.
♪
(Clacking)
♪
Why don't you come to work anymore?
Because I got fired.
What?
Since when? Who said so?
No one. But Jeff wanted to talk, then someone came in to replace me.
I'd be the first to know, if someone new was sitting across from me.
A girl with blue hair.
Her?
(Scoffing)
She's from IT.
They finally decided to fix the internal network.
And it works!
Too bad.
No, not "too bad."
Monday, go see Jeff.
No, I can't.
Yes, you can.
(Phone dings)
I got your email.
Julien's in litigation with the company,
over the terms of his dismissal.
So he has to toe the line.
I understand. I'm sorry to insist.
But it's a shame for that material to sit on a shelf,
when it could be so useful to us.
♪
"...so useful to us."
♪
The crisis couldn't be managed, so his expulsion was...
determined by the Ministry of Education.
France has repeatedly been found guilty by the European Council
for discrimination against people with...
We have a very hard time getting recent, precise figures,
especially on autistic people.
...the statistic of one French person out of 100,
meaning 700,000 people.
There are many more non-binary people in France
among people on the autistic spectrum.
Many are still in psychiatric hospitals.
Specialized institutions have interminable waiting lists,
which delays their treatment...
♪
Romane, here are some clips from Julien's documentary...
Send
♪
(Knocking)
Jeff, I'm sorry. I misunderstood.
Marie told me about your "misunderstanding".
How could you have thought you were fired?
Did I say so?
Did you get a registered letter that said so?
No.
What made you think that?
You wanted to talk to me.
Think every time I wanna talk, you're fired?
(Chuckle)
That'd be complicated.
Plus, it was about work.
Katia, you can't just take off like that for 8 days.
That's unheard of!
I had a call from the Ministry of Solidarity, Autonomy and the Disabled.
They asked if they could use
Julien's footage. Ring any bells?
Yes! No, it's just because...
their meeting with the advisor was so important.
But it's just excerpts from his story. And Julien doesn't know about it.
So you leak
excerpts of a film that's not supposed to exist?
(Chuckle)
You're really screwing up!
So I called the big boss for permission and, as if by magic,
"Chop, chop!" Julien has to finish the film.
No, he's still fired, but with the conditions he wanted.
But, Katia, if you ever do that to me again,
don't even set foot in here.
I docked you 8 days to hire a freelancer to finish the Europe piece!
Okay, go.
No, in fact...
Yes?
There's something I have to tell you.
I'm autistic.
You're autistic?
Yes.
Okay.
Am I fired?
No, but what difference does that make?
The difference is
it's harder for me to work in an open space, than for others.
Because I'm very sensitive to noise and my environment.
So it would be easier if I could work from home more often.
I mean, if that's possible.
If I understand your request...
you attend our meetings...
Yes.
You free up a desk.
And that would simultaneously allow us to increase
our handicapped employee rate.
No, I'm kidding!
In fact, not really.
Okay, I agree.
(Office din)
(Hissing)
(Quiet cheering)
In the 92nd minute, the coach sends him in.
First touch, the guy passes it back and scores an own goal!
(Laughing)
Fred, you're such a fuckin' pain!
- Take it easy. - You're a total drag tonight!
You made the right choice.
It's your dream town, with your dream job!
And you'll be your own boss!
- I know. - Damn right!
Plus... nothing against her,
but with Katia, everything was complicated.
(Text alert on phone)
I know.
Aurélie: Wanna come over?
You'll meet a Conquetais coquette.
(Laugh)
- "Conquetoise". - Okay.
A Conquetoise coquette...
to make a lot of babies with.
(Laughing)
If you say so.
I'll stop ruining your evening.
Ciao!
- You're not leaving now! - Yep!
- Stay! - I'm going to bed.
Bye, Fred.
(Thump)
(Scraping)
Autism diagnosis - Katia
(Mouse wheel clicking)
(Sniff)
(Footsteps)
(Clunk)
There's only one thing I know.
I'm incapable of living without you.
So, with or without the baby,
it's you.
Me, too!
I don't wanna lose you.
(Slight chuckle)
(Chuckling)
I didn't go.
I didn't think I was capable of raising a kid. But with you...
I thought it might be possible.
And you?
I'm ashamed of what I'm about to say.
Okay...
You freaked me out.
What if it's autistic?
It's a possibility.
And what if I'm not up to it?
Ah...
No way? You're the one saying that?
You can't imagine how scared I am of what's coming.
(Chuckling)
I was so mad that I accepted the offer in Le Conquet. I leave next month.
Okay.
But...
I'll cancel.
No, no, no, no.
No, it's too important for you. Don't cancel.
Really.
Besides, I feel like...
we're incapable of totally living together.
- We can't seem to. - No.
(Chuckling)
Maybe we should have shared custody... of us!
(Laughing)
Of our baby?
Like, we get together when we want to, when we can?
(Laugh)
What if I found a big house?
And when you came, we could live on opposite ends.
Not too far away, but a little.
I'd love that!
The baby in the middle.
(Laugh)
It's not gonna be easy.
(Car rumbling)
- Hello, ma'am. - Hello.
I'm Fred, Katia's friend. We met once a long time ago.
Fred!
- Come in! - Thank you.
- Everything's fine, I hope. - Very good.
Katia doesn't know I'm here. I think she'd kill me, if she knew.
But it seemed hard to say this over the phone.
Really?
I had a hard time accepting the fact that she's autistic, too.
(Sigh)
If you came all this way to talk about that...
I'm disappointed.
It has nothing to do with you.
It's not your fault, nor hers.
No one's to blame. It's just how it is.
But she doesn't have much support, and I'd like us to be there.
I can't force you to do anything.
I just ask you to read what's on here.
So...
I'll be going.
(Door clicks open)
(Door clunks shut)
(Echoing clunk)
Look! 6:30, on the dot!
- Come on! - I've been waiting downstairs.
Where we going?
Why?
Bon voyage!
Thank you!
You guys are sneaky!
(Laughing)
Thanks!
This is too much!
How's it going, Marco?
(Chatter)
Need any help?
I'm okay. I'm just scared of being pulled into the void.
I think you've got some leeway.
Okay.
Here we go!
Up.
Perfect! Second foot.
Oh, okay! Like that.
I'm backing up.
I'm great!
How are you?
This is so cool!
(Laughing)
Here, give me your hand.
(Chatter)
- I'll leave you. - Thanks.
Did they force you, or what?
Suggested.
But I knew you'd be happy.
- (Cork pops) - Opa!
Cider? You kidding me, man?
It's a theme! Shall I open the cooler?
Now I'm reassured.
Here!
Thank you so much.
Here's a glass.
To your new life!
Yeah!
Thank you!
(Clink)
To the three of us!
(Quick rock music)
♪
♪ A simple idea, I'm gonna make it stick ♪
♪ I wanna say this fast, I wanna do this quick ♪
♪ It goes one, two, three, it goes one, two, three ♪
♪ I've got a simple idea, I'm going to make it stick ♪
♪ I wanna say this fast, I wanna do this quick ♪
♪ It goes one, two, three, it goes one, two, three ♪
♪ Do you ever feel like the room is heavy? ♪
♪ Like the air is hot, and the air is sweaty? ♪
♪ Do you ever feel like the room is heavy? ♪
♪ And I can't sleep ♪
♪ And I can barely breathe ♪
♪ And I'm watching the world go around the window ♪
♪ Beside me ♪
♪ I've got a simple idea, I'm going to make it stick ♪
♪ I wanna say this fast, I wanna do this quick ♪
♪ It goes one, two, three, it goes one, two, three ♪
(Music fades)
(Light instrumental music)
♪
(Music continues)
♪
Subtitles by Rosemary Ricchio
Subtitling TITRAFILM