Downloaded from YTS.BZ
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
ROMANIA _ BUCHAREST
Agent Nine,
your mission is to obtain the device containing nuclear launch codes
for weapons we know will be used imminently
to wreak havoc of epic proportions.
In the event you do not succeed,
D. I. S. C. O. will deny any and all connection to you or your actions.
Good luck, Agent Nine.
Hey, babe. It's go-time.
Confirm, go-time.
You always tell me what I want to hear, keep it up.
That's what I'm here for.
Let's see…
Bogdan Lazar, two p.m.
How may I help you, sir?
I have a appointment with Mister Bogdan Lazar.
I'm Andrei Petrescu.
Do you have identification?
Doina Gheorghiu.
Can we hurry it up, alittle?
-Are you pressed for time? -No.
There's a figurine of the Little Prince behind her.
From the 'Nain Bleu'"
The Nain Bleu?
Uh… your Little Prince, did you
get him at the Nain Bleu toy shop in Paris, I love that place.
I did actually, I went there on vacation recently.
-Can I take a look at it? -Sure.
I am obsessed with statuettes.
It's a little embarrassing at my age
promise you won't tell?
Your secrets safe.
This one's my favorite, but I'm obsessed as well.
You have a long list to get done,
flirting isn't on it.
-Ready. -I love it.
I doubt Mister Lazar has any of those.
Your two o'clock is here.
Mister Andrei Petrescu, sir;
would you like me to send him up to your office now?
-Yes of course, Doina. -Thank you, sir.
Voice match is nearly perfect, even his mother wouldn't catch on.
I hope the prince knows…
how lucky he is.
Normally you'd've gotten me up there in half the time.
What's the problem?
There's no problem, it's all good.
-I'm sleep deprived as usual, that's all. -Still working on making that baby, hunh?
I can't keep up, folic acid daily, no jerking off, b-vitamins, ovulation
schedules, oh, thanks for reminding me, I forgot.
Agent Nine,
we don't have to report vitamins for sexual stamina, right?
Fuck me!
AH!
I think those last words should be directed at your wife, Ertan.
I wasn't talking to you, I banged my head.
Two floors to go I think.
You think? What's wrong with you.
You try reading all these screens with glasses falling off your face.
-Security cameras? -Of course, and they're top notch.
I'm glad you're impressed.
But I'm hoping you're gonna take care of them?
FCB's active and stable.
Get everyone's info from the database and tell me…
Goddam it to fucking hell!
-What? -Nothing. I spilled my coffee.
Jesus Christ, go to fucking voice mail.
Okay, you're good, just keep strutting your stuff.
Straight ahead. Uh…
-Hey! Are you the two o'clock? -That's Bogdan Lazar.
-Yes, I'll be home for dinner. -Not if you don't answer my question.
-You gotta think fast. -I was just waiting for a friend.
This friend do they have a name?
Hagi.
Hagi?
Huh? Ha! Hagi.
Mh!
Hagi?
If you had a better one, you shoulda said so.
What? No, no, no, no.
-Shit! -Now what, do I abort?
Not, keep going. It's nothing. Focus on the job.
-Focus on the job? -Mh!
Ertan.
If you hadn't noticed,
I'm risking my life here. Get your shit together, man.
You're really starting to piss me off.
So sorry, mister special agent.
I'm so damn comfortable in here.
You're the only one whose job is stressful.
Giant black door straight ahead.
It's got the retina scan on the left.
On your three.
Am I supposed to break through the wall?
Two fifteen, then, it's the legionnaire's helmet
pedestal. Fucking concentrate.
The legionnaire's helmet.
The helmet is one o'clock at the most.
You wanna take a break now and discuss or get to work?
The mechanism is under the table.
Just plug in the device. The system's ready to go.
You're welcome.
Always be nice to your tech staff, right Agent Nine?
Oh… holy shit!
What's wrong?
Again? Why does she keep calling?
Hello, sweetheart.
Is someone coming?
This isn't the best time, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
-Ertan! -Down the hall to the right.
My dad wants to talk to you, honey.
-Hey, son, did you see that game? -Yeah, hi, dad.
-I recorded it to watch after work. -Best penalty kick of the season.
Third door. I mean, second, sorry.
So we'll need those figures by next week.
Sorry.
Get security up here, we have an intruder.
Ertan, baby, I'm starting to think you don't like me.
Yeah, I've got my father-in-law on the line, give me two seconds.
I walked into a meeting and they called security.
Shit!
You're right, they're on their way.
You two, cover the stairs. Move, move!
You two, go to the boardroom.
If I make it out, I swear I will get you fired.
For crying out loud! Fuck!
Ertan!
I got carried away earlier, and I apologize for being so harsh.
But if the helicopter's not on the roof when I get there,
You're so full of yourself, Nine, you forgot we all wentthrough the same basic
training.
I know how to throw punches, handle weapons, escape capture,
you're not that special.
The only reason you're out there, and I'm in here is because people think
spies have to look like movie stars.
But only one of us is typing up the post-mortem on this mission back
at HQ, right?
Someone's been reading too much of his own fan mail.
Bring it on, Nine.
Finish this and we'll settle this at HQ.
Right here like you thought, boss.
Excellent.
Such a masterful operation,
youreally killed it on this mission.
We were on the edge of our seats watching it all go down.
You don't know how much I've wanted this.
This is Zoran Dragic signing off with love to all his viewers.
What the hell happened out there?
It started with Ahem operational
issues that caused some communication
breakdown,
and, as I stated in my report, I got a migraine and took some
aspirin and it caused a minor security glitch.
Minor?
Yes.
You've been seeing a therapist once a week for months, isn't that right?
-We know, but does your wife? -No,
Seda doesn't know.
I mean, it's more like paying someone to chat
and listen to my personal stuff.
You're still required to report this to HR, though.
The rules here at DISCO are very clear;
whoever you share things with
has to have been fully vetted.
I've had a lot of sleepless nights for a while now.
Not just because of the job, but…
a lot of the um…stress
linked to performance comes from here.
Although I don't think it's affected my work or caused any major problems
so far.
Bring it on, Nine. Finish this and we'll settle this at HQ.
No!
Nine! Oh my God, I can't breathe.
Fuck!
I lost one of my best and most valuable agents.
And along with Agent Nine
we lost the device with the launch codes.
And you royally fucked up the best van in my fleet.
Mr. Vehbi!
Don't talk to my agent like that. Get the fuck out.
The people paid for that van with their taxes.
Shushittyshush.
You really did do a number on our best van.
Ertan, you're taking a leave from this job.
Three weeks. We've booked you a nice getaway.
Relax.
Watch movies, enjoy the sunset.
We'll see what we want to do when you get back.
-Good? -Not sure I have a choice.
You do not.
You can take Seda with you.
I'm sure it'll help get your swimmers into
-home port. -Did my therapist tell you we're tring?
Mhm He's been on our payroll for years.
I can't say I'm surprised, because whenever I'd say something, he'd answer:
'You're too generous with your thoughts.' What kinda therapist does that?
-Enjoy your vacation. -Yes, boss.
D.I.S.C.O.
NORTHERN CYPRUS. NICOSIA
Thank you, have a good one.
-The guy who made a scene earlier, -He's probably just a nervous flyer.
I sure hope they send him back.
Iswear, Zafer…
if you ever do that again,
I will throw you off the plane myself.
What're you so pissed about?
I paid good money for first class.
We get all the food and drink we want, says so right here.
Champagne is included in the price, so where does the waitress get
off telling meand they're cutting me off? Pour me a drink, that's her job,
isn't it?
Could you stop being so dramatic. Her jobis to ensure safety,
all she said was that she had to put away the champagne and to put your
-seatbelt on. -For the landing.
I heard her.
Is she the one landing the thing, no she is not.
The pilot's doing that.
But even that's too easy; the computers do all the work and all he has to
do is stear straight.
Sure baby, of course. Let's just get to the luggage area.
I could do it with my eyes closed. And serve a damn drink.
Can you believe that idiot's stills quawking about the champagne.
Don't let himget to you. We're here on vacation. It's all good, we
finally got the getaway we needed, just you and me and lots of time for
romance.
Sorry if I let it get to me, but it's been a while since I got to travel.
Give me that before you lose it.
But we're here now.
You finally got the trip you wanted Leave the stress behind.
It's just the two of us.
If you recall, I've been asking you to leave the stress behind for
at least three years.
And you were right which is why we have just landed her in Cyprus.
Ertan, wait, you didn't plan too much stuff, did you?
Not between sunset and midnight? I'm putting us on a new schedule.
It turns out sperm are at their top swimming form between sunset
and midnight.
I was kinda hoping we could play it by ear while we were here.
I bought new lingerie.
We can have some extra sessions,
but I really need you to work with me here.
You do want to be a dad, don't you?
Is this your suitcase?
Oh, I guess we should look for our bags, then.
We remind all passengers not to leeave their bags unattended;
any unattend bags are subject to inspection.
-There's mine already. -That's quick.
Hey, where're you going?
Yo?! Stop!
Where do you think you're going with my suitcase?
Ah monsieur, lâchez cette valise. Il s'agit de ma valise.
-I know; but let's stay out of it. -It's the guy from the plane.
Immédiatement lâcher la valise ou j'appelle la police.
La police-uh! Monsieur, that's my suitcase, and I want it. Get your
-hands off. -And why is he so loud?
Steal from someone else.
Zafer, it's possible we have the same suitcase, look at the name tag to
-You know why I bought this, Aynur? -make sure.
Monsieur, ça suffit, il s'agit de ma valise.
-Arrêtez, voyons! -D'you hear that?
He's trying to make a scene so we give up.
Calm down.
Is Cyprus the scam capital of the world? Is this how they treat people?
Thief!
Ce monsieur est complètement fou, appelez la police! La police!
Drop my suitcase. I'm not falling for this.
Sécurité! Il est fou! Appelez la police! Tout de suite! Il essaie de voler
ma valise. S'il-vous-plait! La police!
The baggage claim isn't where I want to discuss this. I've had it up to
here, and this guy's breaking my eardrums.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Uh do you speak English?
Yes, of course I do. Thank you for coming. This suitcase is mine.
I just want to go to my hotel.
If this unpolite gentleman
-gives me the permission. -Let's go, he speaks English.
Is it possible you have the same bag? Seriously?
You think there's two suitcases that color?
And he says I'm impolite when he refused to speak English until you
helped him? It's my suitcase. The frog's a scammer.
Pretending he's offended because we caught him.
He wants to talk to you? He should get lost; g'head, tell 'im.
Look, look, look, look, look. I have an idea. Let's open the suitcase.
We will check.
Sounds reasonable. That'll prove whose suitcase it is.
No way, I don't want to open it.
Why don't you want to?
It's private, I have a lot of personal things I don't want you to see.
-This is my stuff, I don't want people -It's still pretty heated, so I'm just
-seeing my underwear. -making sure they're not gonna hurt
each other.
I can't open it because I have toys in there.
-Toys for what? -Toys for having fun at hotels.
-Sex toys? -Uhuh
Zafer!
We're almost finished. And please don't say anything, I got these as a
little surprise, if ya know what I mean.
Our friend's got embarrassing things in there, but too bad.
Dude, come on.
Something for later.
We're all adults here, just open it.
Would you please shut up already, I'm not opening it; it's not the kind of thing
-What is it? -you share.
They're rings that vibrate all the way around, and then make you see stars
-and maybe God. -Rings for your fingers?
-Why would I want to vibrate my fingers? -I don't know, maybe you have arthritis?
It's a cock ring.
Zafer.
Coming, baby. Why're you acting so shocked, you made me say it.
I'm trying to be discrete here. It's a vibrating cock ring that drives
you crazy and is all the rage; it's a surprise and I don't want my wife
to see it. Enough with the interrogation.
He's calling the police if you don't open it. Unless it's sitting right
on top, no one's gonna see your ring.
G'ahead, open it.
Open the damn suitcase.
This is my punishment for trying to spice things up a little.
So just open the damn thing, and show everyone our sex toys.
Honey, come closer, I want to tell you something.
So embarrassing.
-Can we please go to the hotel now? -Just so you know, I did this for you!
-Just act casual and don't look back. -Is it the handcuffs again?
No, it's something that Miray told Funda who told Huseyin.
He told me it changed his life. He never heard her cry out like that.
So I went and got some; handcuffs are just for foreplay!
What the fu…
Et voila monsieur!
This is my
suitcase.
-Mh! -There you go, monsieur.
-Mh! Voilà! Monsieur! -Zafer, the bags are finally here!
Can you get mine, please?
Please, don't do that again.
Voulez-vous Uh… coucher avec moi…
Ah!
-Forget it. -Such a tourist.
He was rude to you.
I only know "je t'aime" and I can't say that to a dude.
-Honey, -Mm!
-This hotel must cost a fortune. -Mm!
Are you sure everything's paid for?
What's so funny?
Seda.
Don't worry about it.
I told you it's all covered.
My beautiful wife deserves a five-star vacation since she's been bugging me
for three years to get away.
Aaah! Ertan!
I called in a favor with my friend. He works for the hotel chain.
We are going to
check in and enjoy some peace and quiet and relaxation.
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Aah!
Oh! AH! AH! AH! Aw!
Aw! Ertan! It's just petals.
Ah!
Thank you, you're so good.
I don't have any money for gratituities sorry.
Welcome to our hotel.
Welcome to you both.
We hope you enjoyed our small gesture for
Your suite is all ready for you.
Special guests.
You're already checked in, and someone will take your luggage for you.
That all sounds great.
Ertan, your friend really owed you one I guess?
Ya know… but he is kind of a show-off.
-Zafer. -Hh?
That's the couple who helped us at the airport.
Yeah, it is.
I know they bring the band out for VIP customers.
I don't think so.
I think they do it for everybody.
This kinda placetreats everybody like a VIP
-Watch. Ahem -Welcome to our hotel.
-Hello, how are you? -Good afternoon.
-Checking in. -Zafer Kirik, and my wife Aynur.
Bandirma Hairdressers Blow-dry Cup Champion.
You should have it in there along with the three day gift certificate I
won for our stay here. So far so good.
-The hotel's like the brochure, and the -So gorgeous.
Lovely greeting with the band really takes it to the next level.
Here you are. Your room is all set for you.
What about the band?
And the flowers and stuff?
No.
I guess those guys are important.
Uh… remind to apologize when see Ithem. Mh!
Top of my list, for sure.
Thank you so much.
Wow! This is amazing!
Ertan!
I've never seen so many balloons.
Mh!
This is my favorite.
Just like them to go completely overboard.
-It's funny -Huh!
I don't remember you mentioning this friend. You must be really close.
So close.
A-aah! I love everything in here.
I feel like a princess.
Tss
Oh, Zafer. This is the best room ever.
They even have separate shampoo AND conditioner!
And there's goodies.
Theres body lotion, a brand new shower cap.
Even a nail file!
We can ask for extra and take them back to the salon.
-Not on the first day, they'll know. -Then we'll take them off the carts.
Sweetie,
thank you so much for winning this prize.
This is gonna be so much fun.
D'you throw your back out?
My back, no, why?
Can't a man have two seconds without being asked what he's up to?
That's not what I asked! You've been acting crazyall day, what's going on?
-I have not. You're the one who's crazy. -You're in a mood, I'm taking a bath.
Go take a bath, see if I care.
How do I open this thing?
The ring's in there.
Huh
I guess that's the end.
Are you eating for two?
You don't usually eat rice and potatoes at the same time, do you?
I always panic at the buffet, there's too many choices. And no, I'm not eating for
two as you know.
Why would you mix the carbs together, you know you can go back. And it's
-kind of wasteful. -It's not wasteful if I eat it.
And look at the mess you've got going on there.
You're the one who piled it on here, I didn't even want the shrimp; you could
feed a pod of dolphins with this.
Cuz shrimp have omega-threes that'll boost your swimmers.
-Really? -Seafood helps concentration and motility.
-Oh, so now you think I can't concentrate? -No, I mean't your sperm.
-Oh! -Hey, look who's here.
-They flew here with us. -Ah! Right.
With the French guy earlier. With the same suitcase.
Seafood looks good, hunh?
What a coincidence you and your lovely wife staying here, too.
Good to see you.
-Bye now. -We love to travel.
Enjoy your stay.
-Bye. -Make friends.
I love rice and potatoes all together. Make me a plate like that, would you?
-You want shrimp? -Eeeh…
Oh!
-Holy cow, leave some forthe others. -Good evening, thank you.
We'll be over here By the window. Take your time.
-Okay. -Excellent choice.
-Love the view. -You know there're plenty of other tables.
-This is perfect. I love booths. -They're intimate.
And romantic. My friend.
You saved me earlier.
They say French is the language of love, but that's not whatt hat guy
-sounded like. You saved my vacation. -Don't mention it.
-I swear to God… -My wife, who's off getting
more food but should be here any second, she told me,
'Ohmy god, without him we'd still be standing at the caroussel arguing'.
I kid you not.
-Where'd she go? Aynur! -Wow.
Aynur! Aynur!
Double date, hurry.
I'm starving. Bring the spuds.
Puree, please and spread it out all flat.
Hurry! You guys live in the city, right?
You've got that stressed out look about you.
This is where we're from. Bandirma, ten point five;
only Turkey's greatest place to live.
I was recently crowned Blow Dry Cup Champion.
-Ah, congratulations. -Thank you.
-What does that mean? -It's for making hair look good.
I know what blow-dry means. Was is this contest?
Ah. It's for the industry.
If you own a hair salon for women in Bandirma, you can enter the Blow-dry
Cup competiton,
and we go for twenty-four hours as many clients as we can.
Four bridal parties,
ten perms, forty color treatments and over one hundred blow dries
to win the championship.
-Impressive. -I have a card.
You come see us anytime.
Ahenk Hair Styling, Bandirma.
Here you go.
Just pop in, I'll take you right away.
Ahenk Hair Styling.
It's got all the information on there, so keep it safe.
So you're a hairdresser?
I just told I do more than just cut hair. I like to think of myself as a
-Hairmagician. -Mmh.
Zafer the Great.
-So many choices. Hope you like it. -Ah, hey.
I panicked.
-Hi. -I'm glad you didn't wait.
-Our luggage hero. -Good thing you were there.
Uh… Aynur Kirk.
We're married.
Mmh.
If you hadn't been at the airport, our entire three days would've been
-ruined, so I insist -Go, girl.
And don't try to argue,
we're buying you dinner.
It's an all-inclusive resort.
-She forgot. -You really don't owe us anything;
your bags would've been sorted out.
I'm sure you two are capable of
-travelling on your own. -You're sweet;
but it's new for us. You have a business card?
No, I work for a company as an accountant.
And my wife teaches kindergarten.
Yeah?
A lot of crying babies and asses to wipe, right?
I have four, so I know what it's like.
You made them all by yourself?
Henh?
You said you had four kids, are you a single dad?
-You didn't say the two of you have kids. -Ah!
Haha!
His first wife did all the work with the kids.
Uh… Before I knew him.
I like older men.
It's only been six months; we're still newlyweds.
-Six months already? -Yes.
I thought it was six weeks.
-Congratulations. I mean it. -Thanks.
This is our honeymoon since it's hard to get away when the salon's so busy.
Working together's not always easy.
But we're all friends here, so I know you'll understand what I mean.
Uh, after my first marriage didn't work out,
I gave upon love.
Then this minx comes out of nowhere.
Applies for a job doing nails and all of sudden Aye not so hard.
Then I fell in love with her;
I was on a roll, you pulled too hard and ruined it.
So my kids.
They live with their mom most of the time but…
we're very close. This is them.
-Cute, aren't they? -Mmh
-Yes they are. -You've very lucky, congrats.
We're probably going to start working on another one soon.
One or two more. We should start trying real soon. If you guys don't have any,
you should try; it's exhausting but also rewarding as hell.
Please don't be offended.
It's my husband and mine's first vacation in three years,
he saved you and you feel a connection,
-and so, he helped out, right, doesn't -I helped out.
Matter, and basically that's in the past now.
Okay? So,
if you'll excuse us, we need some time to ourselves.
Quit eating. Let's go.
One more.
Ertan.
-I'm coming. -I'm tired.
Nice to meet you, enjoy your meal.
-Honey?! -Coming, coming.
Did you see the mountain of shrimp that guy put away?
I love shrimp; we can share.
Okay, but we're not eating his leftovers; get some fresh ones.
Shush, just sit and enjoy the view.
You were pretty harsh back there, honey.
I couldn't help it.
He was droning on and on about his kids, it was so annoying.
I do think they're a pretty nice, don't you?
You think I'm a bad person?
I'm so impatient these days, Ertan.
You're a frickin' saint, honey.
Don't beat yourself up over that idiot.
We're here to get some well deservedrest and enjoy that fancy suite of ours.
Ertan?
Is that so we stay on schedule?
Of course.
-Although this alarm isn't for love -Mmh.
Making, this alarm is to remind me to get some champagne.
-You know how I love bubbles. -Yes I do.
You go on in. Just relax. I'll be right back with the bubbly.
Champagne and caviar.
-Don't take too long, mama's thirsty. -I'll be quick, I promise.
Why're they calling?
Hi, boss.
Ertan, I know you're on vacation.
Normally, we wouldn't call you when you're on leave,
-but we have a situation. -How bad?
Zoran Dragic.
The one who killed Nine.
He's a Serbian terrorist wanted by Interpol.
We're doing everything we can to capture him.
And retrieve the nuclear launch codes he stole from us.
This is urgent.
Should he launch,
millions of innocent lives will be wiped out in seconds.
Well,
I'm sure there's a few bad apples in there.
It's funny you should say that, because there's someone else.
Dragic's just a middle man, but we don't know whose pulling the strings.
No one's ever seen him.
So for now the name is…
-Alpha dog. -Alpha dog.
Dragic's meeting with Korean buyers in Malta was compromised, so there were
last minute changes.
They rescheduled a new time and location.
That's a good move.
Would you care to guess where it's at now, Ertan?
Mmh.
Ertan.
The exchange is supposed to go down in the hotel we just put you in.
Ah. So you're going to relocate us so we should pack up and head out.
That was the plan because Agent thirteen was on this assignment.
Only he was tortured and killed in Riga so he's gone.
Ohh
Thirteen is gone, too?
Which one was thirteen, again?
I lose track of all the names and numbers.
Was he the blond one with the mean streak or the long-haired anti-vaxxer
-with the stutter? -Ertan.
Boss?!
There are dangerous entities trading nuclear launch codes
heading your way and you're the only one who can stop them.
Ahh! It's a mission.
You're asking me to replace Agent Thirteen in a pinch,
only my specialty is tech support.
So I'm not saying no,
I just don't think I can go after terrorists, I'm more of a behind the
scenes guy. Anything to do with computers, I'm good.
You went through basic training, didn't you?
You can do this.
And anyway, all the equipment for this mission's already at the hotel.
I'm not built for confrontation.
Am I not getting through to you?
I think the connection in here is no good; it sounds
like you want me out in the field, and I can't.
-I'm not your guy. -Ertan!
Either you follow my orders and go after these guys like I tell you, or pack
your bags and tell your wife you got fired.
It'll take a miracle for me to get it from them.
A miracle and top-notch spy shit.
Agent seventy-three, we're counting on you.
Why can't you get Seventy-two?
I mean, there's like sixty other agents, before me.
We have helicopters on stand-by.
This Dragic sounds like a real bastard.
Who does he think he is?
Asshole's got another thing coming.
We're gonna mess that fucker up, we're gonna shove those nuclear codes
where the sun don't shine.
Nuclear codes, what the hell are you talking about?
I'm in!
I was stationed in Alanya fora my military service for a year, putting
-terroritsts in their place was my job. -You mean, tourists.
No differene, trust me.
There's a huge difference, tourists are just loud and drunk.
Huh. I don't know why you were listening, or what you think you heard earlier;
but it's just an ongoing joke with my colleagues when one of us is on vacation.
That's bullshit and I know that lady's your boss.
I also realize a good agent wouldn't trust just anyone,
So I'm going to show you I don't have any wires.
Or bugs or spying gizmos; I'm just a loyal patriot.
I've put in fourten hour days on my feet for years, I 'm in shape.
I am a wizzard with scissors! I love my job, but if your boss wants me to
use my skills for this mission, then I'm all in.
Zafer, put your clothes back on. You misunderstood, there's no mission.
I heard her say mission; Right after she rose
and before she evaporated or whatever that was.
There could be millions of orphans if we don't stop them.
I don't want that on my conscience.
I read this in the parenting book.
Babies recognize the voices and music they heard in the womb so we'll
be singing to my belly a lot.
I'll learn new songs.
They have blue eyes and see blurry when they're new, I love it.
It goes away later.
Their little hands and feet get cold easily, so we have to be careful.
The best place to check if their cold, though, is the neck.
We'll turn up the heat if it is.
-Ertan. -Uh!
I took a lover.
Yeah, I forgot, I'll make sure it gets done, though.
Ertan.
-Ah! -You're not paying attention.
Ah-ah-ah- ah-ah I got light headed. You try blowing this up.
Are you staring at girls?
-No -Are you checking out the hairdresser?
Hair magician.
Hair magician!
-Zafer. -Mh!
They don't want to hang with us, they just want peace and quiet.
That was just and excuse cuz they think they're better than us.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, is better than we are.
I'm kinda thirsty, you go in while I get some drinks.
-I wanted to swim together. -We'll swim together after we drink.
-Get somewater while you're at it, honey. -Sure, yeah.
You absolutely need to slow down on the booze.
The hotel staff brought you to the room, half-conscious.
You passed out right away but you kept
So I got a little drunk!
Mumbling about a ring in your sleep.
All that stress on the plane and the bags,
and all that shrimp made me thirsty.
You wanna call the police on me while you're at it?
I'm going to get us some drinks.
I'll get us some drinks, then we swim. It's a free country, I can go at the
same time.
Do you work as a team?
-A team of what? -Come on.
-Your drinks, sir. -Thank you so much.
You knocked me out with a super-sonic tranquilizer, my friend.
-Super what? -Come on, man, don't play innocent.
I've been in your sights since welanded here.
In my sights?
You and your wife invited me and my wife to sit with you in a public place
with tons of windows.
Covered all the view points. All those reflections.
Then I whip out my wallet to show you
my family and
all of a sudden things get tense. You and your wife go,
knowing I would feel I insulted you and want to make it right
so I follow you, she goes in you sneak down the hall,
then that lady comes out of thin
you get me to take all of my clothes off,
air talking spy shit,
cuz you don't want your prints on my clothes,
and then I show you how I'm not wired but 'Schlock!' supersonic blaster in
my face.
-Go on. -I don't know, maybe you're bisexual.
If I were, I'd have told you to bring your toys.
You're a secret agent, then.
Those are the choices? Really.
I took advantage of you or my boss is running a network of spies.
Look, we were on the same plane.
The flight was bumpy and there were drinks.
They cut you off, you had luggage issues,
you got here, you had more champagne and passed out.
Or you saw God,
if that vibrating ring works like you say it does.
Maybe you tried it out and you gave it too much juice.
It's your honeymoon, Zafer.
Relax and enjoy it.
Too much juice?
I wasn't there, but come on… it's gotta be.
I don't remember much after I followed you to your room.
Must've been the bubbles.
-I gotta lay off. Is that your phone? -Leave the stress behind.
Uhuh!
Here's my phone number in case you need it.
You never know.
Hair Magician Zafer's the contact.
I'm here for three days if you need anything, or if you just want to
grab a beer.
-I mean it, I still feel like I owe you. -I know where to reach you; thanks again.
-I wasn't following you. -Of course you weren't.
-Take care. -You should try these.
They're good.
Sure, if you insist; I was gonna order something else.
Aynur! I got us fancy cocktails.
-Ooh. -They're free.
PARKING LOT-2
Oh, your timing sucks.
Hehh?
Christ,
I can't figure out where to sit in this damn thing.
Hom am I supposed to figure out how to stop bad guys?
Phew,
at least the pedals are in the same place.
Seatbelt… and we're off.
Ready seventy-three?
Jesus, Sukru, don't call me that.
You got this, Ertan.
D'you get a camera in here?
I don't see one.
The rearview mirror.
That's a good idea.
The lens.
The coffee thermos, on your left.
Thermos. Anything else?
A hundred and fifty liras behind the
-sun visor. -Sun visor.
A rosary on the gear stick, and gum in the glove box.
The rosary is a transmitter?
No, it's just a rosary. Supposed to be oltu stone.
Geez I don't have time to pray.
I suppose the gum is the explosive?
Just spearmint far as I know.
Thank god it wasn't something fruity; Sukru,
if I get in there and the crap hits the fan, what do I do?
Bro, this is strictly surveillance.
No intervention. Just point and shoot.
Argh shit!
I was supposed to be on vacation.
Are you in? What's the hold up?
The system's a bit slow in here, but I'm almost in.
Just a few more seconds.
And we're good.
Are you there yet?
I've got eyes on the prize.
I got a ride from the bus station with my brother in law and we stopped for
coffee.
You need to brush up on your lingo, you can't say' are you there yet'.
-You gotta ask me if I'm in position. -I was trying it out.
We've been going freestyle since you got canned.
I was suspended.
Obviously I'm still working.
My bad; sorry.
Can you get any sound?
No.
Bro, Zoran Dragic is the only one who knows who Alpha Dog is and where
he's located…
Most likely, he's talking to the Korean buyers on video call
If they're on a computer screen, you need to get a visual.
If I try to do that, I'll be in their line of sight.
It's better if I wait to see if I can get a shot from here.
What kind of gum is this for fuck's sake, Sukru!
Are you trying to kill me? Jesus.
Somebody's in here!
-AAAAAH! -AAAAAH!
Sukru!
There. Hurry up!
After him! Hurry up, get in the cars.
Ertan, get in!
No, bro'! What are you doing?
-Sorry, I forgot the steering wheel was -There's a door
-on the other side. -on this side. It's so stupid. But
step on it! Go!
Why would you make cars that drive on the wrong side of the road?
Who cares, fasten your seatbelt and shut up.
It's so impractical, I don't get it.
I am not supposed to confront bad guys.
I'm a technical support specialist for fuck's sake?
Fate brought us together, bro; we're gonna see this mission through.
You and I are not on a mission!
You're a fucking hairdresser!
Hair magician, alright.
Finish him!
They're shooting.
Stay down, Zafer.
Stay down, my ass; these guys don't know who they're dealing with.
AAAAH!
How did you find me, my wife doesn't even know where I went.
I added your phone to location sharing on my phone when I shared my number.
Your security sucks, are you sure you passed agent training?
Ugh! I told you I'm not an agent!
I don't work in the field!
Bullshit! If you're not an agent, why are guys shooting bullets at us?
Ah!
-Ugh. -Ugh.
You might be chickenshit, but you are an agent.
Your boss said ahalf a billion lives are at stake with those codes.
You throw out new numbers like you're converting to old Lira.
Is that good or bad?
Who cares, just watch the road.
Hold on tight, I'm gonna lose one of 'em.
Aah!
If we die here today, there's one thing I want you to know.
It was an honor to serve my country with you.
Crash into that walland get it over with drive, drive!
Hell no. The coward dies
ten million deaths,
-the brave man only once. AAAAH! -AAAAH!
Watch it, watch it, there's a car coming!
Jesus take the wheel!
I'm born to be an agent, you wanna know why I believe that, Ertan?
I really don't.
It runs in the family.
He was my dad's little brother.
My favorite uncle.
He was my hero. I grew up listening to his stories.
I guess he didn't keep secrets like he should
He died in Singapore.
I swore to myself that day
I would avenge his death.
And I can finally say I'm doing that.
I'm crying now because of you.
Your family's been running small businesses in Bandirma for generations.
Your uncle sells pottery in a small shop in the Merkez Efendi area.
He's never been out of the neighbourhood
he has two grown kids who are married, and his bank account shows he
deals mostly in cash,
and when he says he's playing chess with his buddies he's actually with
a waitress named Suzan.
-Your aunt should divorce that asshole. -They got back together, then?
We already broke them up twice; he swore that it was over.
The heart wants what it wants. You saved my life back there, thank you.
S'what partners do, man.
Oh! Pfff!
Partners is a stretch.
I tell you exactly what to do.
You follow my orders, no questions whatsoever, understood?
If this is gonna work, you follow my lead, Zafer.
-You swear? -Swear on my mother's life.
You won't regret this, Ertan.
Is that one of those self-steering cars?
Windshield was already shot. So…
good riddance.
Okay, so…
my dad's partner, the one we call Uncle Gazanfer,
He is your biological father.
-What?! -Just seeing if you're listening.
-That's mean, you can't go making jokes -Works like charm every time.
Like that. Uh-oh! Suspicious civilian eleven o'clock; watching us closely.
-He's got glasses, could be recording. -Looks like a potential threat, partner.
He looked like he was spying. I'll stun him real quick, let me have it.
-For God's sake! -I know you have one.
Ertan,
everything you need to continue your mission is in the room you just entered.
It's come to our attention that Dragic is a huge fan of the singer performing at
the cabaret this evening.
Your next task is to switch places with the singer before the start of
the show, and get close to Dragic.
You'll convince him to take you up to his room where he keeps his computer and
the only way to communicate with the Alpha Dog.
Best of luck, Agent Seventy-three.
You have to plug this thing in?
No, I had it set up to jam signals.
So no one could access the room.
That's too bad, it's a really nice one.
Yesssssss.
Oh yeah!
Undercover disco D.J.?
Department of International Spyness and Crime Organization is what it stands for.
So there's no dancing?
It's an acronym hh.
-That's spy lingo? -Sure.
Cool.
Do all agents get this stuff?
You shouldn't do that.
I'm using your cologne cuz I sweat so much earlier.
Besides the fact we trust each other with our lives;
you can't be calling dibs, man.
I told you at the car, that you need to follow my orders and I told you
-not to touch that. -Where're we going?
Tell me what you don't see?
It's glass, I can see everything. Should I pretend I don't?
I don't see my right hand.
Do you see fingerprints anywhere?
Oh my god!
It's only temporary, it wears off in twenty minutes.
Do not mess with anything else in my kit, because nothing in here
is actually what it seems.
I think I'm getting used to being an agent.
I love the adrenaline rush, man, it's intense.
I can do this.
I'm a natural.
Cocaine!
This is the real deal, right?
No.
I'd swear it's Columbian.
We try to be as accurate as possible.
By the way I made a reservation
so we can take the girls out.
I think our wives might be feeling a little neglected.
Good idea, and that way they won't be suspicious.
I hope you picked somewhere expensive, we deserve something fancy;
write it off as expenses.
Speaking of writing, this pen works, right?
-It works by injection. -Oww, shit.
It contains a strong hallucinogen. Don't touch it.
Did you touch the pen?
Course not.
Honey, how much longer 'til I'm forgiven?
I haven't decided.
You left me waiting for you like an idiot.
You said you would stick to the schedule I gave you, but I'm not sure you really
-want this. -You don't mean that.
-I wanted to be there; but Zafer -Zafer.
-Was really in a bad way. -Blink twice if you hear me.
Why are you making me eat with these people I don't want to be
-around them. -I felt bad for ditching them.
We were cranky and tired and we were pretty rude.
We'll enjoy the evening, I'm sure they're not that bad.
I think he might be high on drugs.
Whatever was wrong with him,
-I don't think you fixed it. -How about we raise our glasses?
Cheers to vacation.
I don't know what happened.
He's usually so social and won't stop talking.
Too much sun, maybe.
Y' got a name, kid?
Zafer.
Where are you from.
Bandirma, sir.
Bandirma?
You owe it all to the ferry.
The ten-point-five thank you.
We're very grateful.
Tomorrow we proclaim the Republic.
Tomorrow is Tuesday?
I'm available after noon.
The Republic is our legacy.
You will need to nurture it and make sure it can flourish.
We can always dream, sir.
Take care of yourself, kid.
Sir?
It was a good dream.
You didn't stand up and show your respect.
I'm so glad we found this place.
Let's raise another toast. Drink up.
Ertan buddy.
Those mushrooms were something else, I was spaced out.
I went back in time and met Ataturk.
Is this water going on your bill, cuz the minibar's a fortune.
You're lucky I had the antidote.
Without it, you might have gone all the way back to the Letter Reform.
The letter reform? Ahem
Ohh, the alphabet.
Did I miss anything?
Is the mission compromised or are we still on for the cabaret.
You weren't out of it for that long. Everything's still a go.
The trickiest part will be getting the laptop out of his room
-without getting caught. -It's coming back to me and
I'm not hearing colors anymore,
but I feel quite emotional.
Tell me how I look?
This whole mission relies on one thing:
convincing him to take me up to his room after the show.
Then hopefully we prevent world-wide disaster.
Aah! Aah!
Ertan.
You must've given me the wrong antidote!
I don't even know what I'm seeing.
Get a hold of yourself.
It's me! Your partner, Ertan.
This is silocone camouflage made with nano- technology.
Camouflage technology?
Why'd you get such a fine ass?
Everyone's gonna notice it, you're gonna draw too much attention.
Why're you being such a pervert; it's how it came out.
I asked you how I look, not if you like my ass.
I have to learn how to act like a lady and walk in heels
and figure out
how to flirt with that dirtbag so he takes me up to his suite.
Alright, I got you. The dress is classy.
Nice earrings.
The butt can work if he's an ass-man.
-Mmh -If he's not…
how far are you willing to go for this mission?
Maybe you'll have to have a cocktail or two before you…
Quiet. You'll be in my ear.
You'll come interrupt if things get out of hand.
-Got it? -Uh-huh.
Before I forget, my phone.
It's got an alarm on it. I'm supposed to be in my room with
-my wife at ten fifty one; -Okay.
Not fifty two or three;
fifty-one exactly.
If she messages me, text her back so she thinks it's me.
Right. No problem.
Now bro'; your voice?
-How do we fix it? -Nice catch.
Choker. Right here.
Can you put it on, please.
Ahem
-I meant on me. -Sorry.
That does make more sense.
-Come on. -Your hair; watch it.
-Good? -Keep holding it, like that.
-Yeah? -Mmh.
-Eyes up here, please. -Them birthday cakes are distracting.
You want it snug, don't you?
Chokers are so sexy.
They are.
You smell good, is that vanilla?
I'm enjoying it too.
-Excellent choice. -It came with the suit.
It's the singer's scent.
You guys thought of everything; but I don't think hiding your Adam's
-apple's gonna be enough. Ahem -Alright.
Turn.
What's up, Zafer?
Am I still on drugs, now you sound like woman.
-A totally sexy one. -Pffff!
This is too Ahh!
-You're a hairdresser, right? -Hairmagician.
You can do something with this, can't you?
With one hand behind my back.
I gotchou.
Unbelievable.
Really. I don't know about the up-do.
It's looking a little pageant-y.
Ms. Alim just and I just wanted to wish you good luck.
Make us proud tonight, Ertan.
That's very nice of you.
We appreciate your DNA for this costume.
Even my voice is the same.
How did you do that?
You're sweet, but honestly the voice was the easiest part thanks to deep fake.
Between recordings of you on stage, at the cabaret, on television,
with phone taps.
With phone taps?
Seventy-three, you can hang up now.
Whoever did the camouflage of her needs their eyes checked. because
-this man looks nothing like her. -Don't talk to him like that.
He looks beautiful. Now get the fuck out!
-Zafer, baby. -Huh?
Are you finally back to normal?
Yeah, yeah hundred percent. I was out of it earlier, but now I'm excited and
my blood is pumping; Super sexy saxophone, yeah?
Un-hunh. You're blood's pumping?
-Of course. -You want to play my sexyphone?
-Right here? -Mhmm
Our room? Damn I don't have the safe key.
Our safeword is 'gel'.
I know that. I meant the key to your heart.
-You already have that. -This is Ertan as Alim.
Hey, Alim.
-Who's Alim? -Did Seda text me?
-I don't know. -Is there someone else, Zafer?
-Check my phone. -Sorry, bro.
Are you having an affair, cuz I am not your 'bro.
Zafer! I think I'm gonna throw up. Lock eyes with me when I get on stage
-to calm my nerves. -Locking eyes.
You better not look elsewhere. If my eyes aren't enough, my
butt should catch your attention.
-I'm your damn wife. -Zafer.
This hairdo is a bit much, I 'm afraid; it's throwing off my balance.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm welcome to tonight's special guest, the Queen of Jazz,
Alim!
I'm very unhappy
these days
Always rebellious
I'm so tired
The dark fate written on my forehead
Doesn't fade away like death
She has a beautiful voice.
-It's the choker. -She choke under pressure?
No, the choker is for voice control.
It's not a bullet wound,
It's a love wound inside
It doesn't heal
My love, where are you? Are you in the hotel?
Tell him not to mention my name again
-I love you. -Me too.
Love you so much.
Tell him, I haven't forgotten his lies yet
Tell him I kept his sins for the afterlife
Tell him, so he knows
You might have the schedule wrong, your wife's asking where you are.
Tell him so he knows
Should I text her, "stop asking, woman"?
Don't write!
He'll never say my name again
Tell him, you haven't forgotten the timing
Oh right, thanks for reminding me;
Tell him I kept his sins for the afterlife
I'll tell her you'll be in the room at Not fifty-two or fifty-three.
Right? Ten fifty one.
Tell him so he knows...
Should I write that or not? Just blink once for no.
Tell him! So he knows!
Her voice is so sensual,
but there's something in the lyrics,
I can't put my finger on it.
I agree.
And whoever did those ass implants on her went way overboard.
I told him it'd draw attention.
You were talking about her ass?
Him who? Were you talking about her with? I'm starting to get pissed for real.
Her manager! We met outside the bathroom.
Now if the interrogation's over and you're done with the jealousy,
can we just listen to the damn singer or we leave.
Thank you so much.
-You did it! -She's a professional; of course
-she did it; but it was very emotional. -So professional. And that choker, I think
that doesn't hurt.
Have the lady join me for a drink.
The gentleman would like you to join him at his table.
Good cover.
Disugise a prostitute as a singer.
I just had to compliment you in person.
You're sweet.
-I can't imagine that life. -Ertan, you poor sucker.
Hey, weren't they supposed to meet us here?
I don't remember what their plans are, you told me to forget them, didn't
you?
"Where's Ertan? Where's Ertan?" I'm not his babysitter.
What's your name, good lookin'?
You can call me Zoran.
-It's a pleasure. -'Pleasure's all mine, Zoran.
Why doesn't she have a drink?
Thank you, uhmhh
-To jazz. -To jazz.
May I ask what you do?
'May I ask what you do?'
Why don't you just say 'Handsup, asshole'.
It's so obvious.
Could you ask me again?
Uh… I…
only asked… what it is you do.
You could recite the phone book.
Your voice is just as romantic,
down here in person as when you're up on stage.
Ha!
You don't want to hear it first thing when I get up.
I don't know about that, but to answer the question,
-I'm in business. -Mmm!
That's kind of vague.
You're one of those successful people who don't like to share too much.
My industry can be brutal.
So it's better for everyone involved to know as litttle as possible.
I say we forget about work, and talk music.
I'm here to have a good time.
-Cheers. -You're gorgeous.
Mh
Oh yeah, that's it, right there.
The gentle caress on the arm, brother.
Nice and slow, up and down, that's soooo good.
Tilt your head. Close your eyes, bite your lips like you love it, man.
Sigh a little. You love it.
Zafer, I've had enough!
You want to join them?!
Of course I don't want to join, I only want to watch.
Acting like I'm some pervert in a night club.
I need the bathroom. If you don't mind, of course.
Man, the wife's getting suspicious.
And looks like you'll be a while.
You keep flirting, I'll text Seda, don't worry.
Yah.
Is the drink bad?
I meant 'yes'.
So glad I said 'yes' to coming over when you asked me.
The first of many 'yeses', I hope.
So impatient, jesus christ, and I can't fucking talk to her.
Dear Seda…
Hold on, my darling,
I have a special treat for you,
I want everything to be perfect for our session.
Don't get your panties in a…
please wait quietly in the room. Nice.
Let's go to my room.
I'm in the john, I'll be there in a second.
I just have to ditch Aynur. Hold on.
Aynur?
Thank you.
Oooh! Wow, wow, wow, wow.
It's like a palace, I didn't know there were rooms like this here.
It looks big because of the decor.
It's not the decor. This suite is huge?
Do you like huge things?
In proportion.
Excuse me while I freshen up, my lady.
Take your time.
Go, go, go, go.
He really needs to upgrade this fucking thing.
Are you packing?!
God-damn cheater!
What the fuck?
Why did you marry me if you wanted to go around fucking other women?
-I can barely keep up with fucking you. -So why are you sexting Seda, then?
-Seda? -Is it that bitch?
I don't know. It's her. Ican explain, it's not even my phone!
-You're disgusting, I hate you. -Zafer what's going on, what'd you do?
Man? What man? Are you sleeping with men, too?
-Crap's hitting the fan, I gotta go. -Zafer, wait.
Don't go.
They have some…
really nice soap in there.
I could run a bath for us.
Later.
I feel thirsty.
We can talk some more.
Performing uses a lot of energy.
I need to recover
before we getin the tub
and I show you my true talents.
Uh…
I don't normally,
invite women to my room, but there's just something about you I can't resist.
I feel the same way.
You're the only client I've ever followed back to his room.
Aynur, I swear to God, I'll slit my wrists. You'll be haunted by guilt for
the rest of your life.
There's plenty of towels! Do it! I'll watch!
You don't mean that; I know you don't. Aynur!
Since the day we met, I've been obsessed with you and only you.
Filthy liar! I heard you!
I followed you to the men's bathroom.
She's fucking married, Zafer.
I know, her husband was at dinner with us before the show.
I'm insulted you think I would bang her skinny ass;
you're filet mignon, she's fish sticks. Honey,
one day I'll explain.
Forget it! Fuck your explanations, Zafer.
I'm getting myself a lawyer.
Get out before I lose my shit.
If you dent that, they'll charge it to the room.
Go ahead, open it.
Your mistress is here.
Ya have to think the worst of people. Don't you?
Pff!
Fuck you!
Bitch whore!!
-Hey, Seda. -Hohh!
-Where's my husband? -That's kinda sexy.
You have other sounds like that?
No, that was…
my vocal exercise.
My throat's a little dry
-but did you really like that? -You have no idea.
That was music to my ears.
I'm only here one night.
I have a beautiful woman with me.
One who looks like she enjoys a little choking.
Mh
That tickles.
I'll still respect you.
But don't start playing hard to get.
I'm just afraid I'll fall madly in love with you and get hurt.
Mh!
Wait!
Who sent you?
You're the one who's a bitch-whore; where's my husband?
Yeah right, you're here to seduce mine, aren't you?
-No one's seducing anyone, Aynur. -You think I'm into this idiot?
Now you're just being mean.
Ah!
Zafer!T he crap hit the fan!
-I got you, baby I gotta go. -Who're you calling baby?
Who was that, Zafer? Was that my Ertan?
Why do you have his phone?
Zafer! Come in!
Ertan, I'm in the middle of something, hold on.!
If that's Ertan, where is he?
If this is some kinda three-way, I will fucking kill all of you!
Zafer! Ertan said he would be late because
you did something to my husband, didn't you?
I'll explain everything over breakfast. I just really have to go.
-Tell me what you did with my husband! -I swear, no more secrets after this.
-Zafer shut up you can't tell them shit. -It's torture, man.
Where the hell is Ertan? I know you know where he is, so tell me.
-Are you having a thing with her husband? -If you hurt him, I will murder you both.
-You're up to something, I can tell; -It's starting to make sense, you booked
-I'm calling the cops. -this hotel so you could…
Happy now, Aynur?!
Look what you've made me do!
Does he like it a little rough?
We got the Alpha Dog.
What time is it?
Eleven.
-Dragic? -Neutralized.
Seda?
Neutralized.
-Hh? -Hunh.
In what sense?
With the stunner.
Argh! Zafer arghss.
Oh
if you only knew the night I've had, partner.
How am I gonna explain things?
Seda's gonna ask for a divorce for sure.
No she won't, man; she loves you; I saw it.
Pfffff!
We'll see.
You look exhausted.
-Let me help you with that. -Huh.
This fucking camouflage is so sticky.
Will it come off if I rip it?
It's silicone; it'll come off if you pull hard enough.
You're a real hero, buddy.
You look so beautiful.
-It's hard to resist. -I know.
-Did you guys kiss? -How're you gonna explain things to Aynur?
She knows everything?
I'm telling you I had no other choice.
-It's your phone that got me in trouble. -You got me in trouble with my phone, too.
It's not his fault.
I went nuts when I misunderstod what I overheard.
Then I called Seda a bitch-whore.
It got worse from there, but
he wanted to help you.
I zapped you with that thing, how could you do that to my wife?!
You never told me it could go off, I was a stupid accident.
It kept her from calling the cops, though.
Pfff! It is so important,
no one else finds out.
This is top secret and has to stay under wraps, Zafer's mouth already jeopardized
the entire operation.
If you could keep it to yourself, and please
don't tell Seda since I'm trying to keep her out of all this.
Ertan, stop.
I'm the one clients confess to.
True!
In one ear and out the other.
What my right hand knows
-never gets told to my left. -Never gives.
Huh?
The expression is talk with one hand give the other.
-Anyway, let the man finish his lecture. -You swore on your mother's life
you would obey orders.
You ignored every single one.
You said I couldn't tell your wife, not my own;
besides, this way my work'll improve.
I'll be so focused and she won't be suspicious, right?
One last thing I forgot to tell you is Ertan killed someone in self defense.
Why the hell would you tell her about that? Jesus.
-Sorry. Whoops. Shhh! Last one. -Ertan.
Ertan. One more question.
Can you tell me who?
It was him. dude just sat down over there.
He's here.
I think Ertan missed.
You two go there; Stay out of sight.
-Let me handle this. -On the bed.
Okay, baby.
-Pfffff! -Calm and casual.
Shhhh! Ahem.
Good to see you, boss.
I was just about to report the excellent news I have for you.
-Last night… -Ertan.
You're off the case.
Are you cancelling the mission?
You're being replaced.
You've broken protocols, and
shared ultra sensitive DISCO information with unvetted parties.
I think there's some kind of mix-up here, boss.
-Who's on the bed? -The bed?
There's surveillance camera's in there.
I can see all three of you right now.
Zafer and Aynur Kuruk, we own a salon in Bandirma
Shut the fuck up!
You two, listen to me,
I won't repeat it.
Should you utter a single word of what you've heard regarding our work
or this particular mission
your days will be numbered.
Seventy-three
your days with DISCO have unfortunately come to an end.
The organization thanks you for your service.
You have been terminated.
Good luck.
You got fired!
We cost our friend his job because we didn't hide ourselves from his boss
better.
No, Aynur. I was already on probation for another fiasco.
-But you're sweet for saying that. -Traitor.
-Who? -Your boss.
-Henh? -I've seen it.
It's the plot of a million Hollywood blockbusters.
I saw three Mission Impossible movies and it was the boss who was the traitor.
The bitch was working for the Russians all along and double
crossed Ethan. This bitch is doing the same thing!
Shut your fucking mouth!
You had Ertan looking like a damn drag Queen with that awful up-do!
Your mother's the traitor for bringing you into this world.
You call me a bitch again, I'll rip you a new one. Asshole.
I'll make youre life miserable.
Sounds like harassment.
-Yes. -Enough, Zafer.
Come on.
That woman doesn't know us;
we've got equipment, we're a team, we can do this.
Continue the mission; we're so close.
No. Mission's over.
They took my career.
I can't let them take my wife too.
Ertan, come on.
I'll help you catch Alpha Dog.
-Come on. -You two take care.
Zafer?
Is the migraine any better?
Tss.
-Like you care. -Go ahead, girls.
Come on. Are you angry we have to go home early?
Why would I be angry?
You said your boss called.
We don't have to leave today.
I can get someone to cover and we'll have one more day together.
What do you say?
-Huh? -You set off the scanner.
Please check all your pockets.
I can find another hotel; with a spa so you can get a massage. Come on.
It's fine, I'll go to the spa at home.
You must still have metal on you somewhere, coins, zinc, iron, copper,
keychain souvenir.
Seda.
There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while;
-it's been eating me up inside for months. -Don't bother, he told me.
What do you mean, who told you?
Your new buddy, Ertan.
That Zafer Hair Magician Champion, whatever.
-He told me everything. -God damn that stupid hairdresser!
He wasn't supposed to!
He swore he wouldn't say another fucking word.
Watch your language. I'm the one who's pissed off.
Unless you're the welter-weight champion, put the belt in the bin.
After this we're gonna search you. There's other people waiting.
Fucking, Zafer. Such an ass!
What exactly did that idiot tell you, I'm curious.
The worst part was that I heard it from that idiot.
I swear I was going to tell you when we got home from vacation.
I thought I was the person you could confide all your deepest
-secrets to, instead you told him. -Honey.
Are you looking to get strip searched?
Last chance, take off the shoes.
Seda, it's not my fault, it's the timing.
I wanted to tell you so many times, but…
I had to wait until our seventh wedding anniversary to tell you all this.
Our seventh anniversary?
But you told that idiot after a couple of days?
Anyway, we're not gonna make it to seven.
I just found out the man in my wedding pictures,
is a totally different man who's been lying the whole time we've been together.
You're gonna have to go through one more time.
Take everything off or tell me there's a metal plate in your head.
I don't have that. Is this what you want?
Hanh?!
You want me to take everything off, 'buddy', I'll take everything off.
-There! You want the boxers too, officer? -I like those briefs.
-Get a move on buddy; we've got a -I want to know exactly what that bigmouth
-flight to catch. And put your clothes on. -told you.
What he told me is that our marriage is a lie, for God's sake!
-I don't even know who you are. -My job required it.
You'd be in danger if I'd told you the truth.
I never lied about my feelings, though. I love you.
And since when is the truth dangerous?
In my line of work it can kill you. Get your head blown clean off.
The Mint Bureau?!
The Mint? I'm in the Secret Service; DISCO!
I'm so confused, what the fuck is DISCO?
Are you saying you're a spy?
-Thank you. -You have a good one.
Thanks.
So you're telling me you work as a secret agent for the government?
Yes and no.
You're only an agent if you're out in the field undercover.
-I do most of my work inside a van. -But, you're considered an agent?
More like a tech…
Uhm… what…
uh…
the numbered agents risk their lives, and I do all the tech support for
their missions.
I'm their eyes and ears via top-level communications.
I work…
on the same mission as the agents, but I'm not considered one.
If you're not an accountant…
who are the people I meet when I decide to pop in for a lunch date?
Colleagues, mostly.
But none of us work in accounting.
We're trained to pretend we have regular jobs.
So they're all government agents.
Yes.
What about Zafer?
You work with him, too?
No, he's just a hairdresser!
Hair magician.
That idiot he did spy on me that first night.
My boss called me to take over and he eavesdropped on the whole thing without
my knowing.
That meant I had to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't tell anyone;
and things kept spiralling.
He saved my life when he followed me a second time, though.
So we owe that maniac debt of gratitude?
That maniac did keep me from getting shot.
It sounds like you didn't mind dodging bullets.
Ertan.
I am so proud to to call you my husband.
I'm a very lucky woman.
Even though you lied through your teeth for years which I'm still
mad about.
But I know you had to, because my husband always puts me first.
I know I pushed really hard
because I feel my clock is ticking.
No, you didn't push, honey.
I wanted to start a family.
I'm sorry I lost sight of the fact that you are my family, Ertan.
I think this crazy mission…
is one you should finish.
There is no mission.
I'm not DISCO anymore.
Well fuck those damn assholes.
It's okay, I did deserve to get fired.
And this thing is dangerous.
-Ertan Gümü! -I can't be going after…
There is nothing as dangerous as your determination.
You know what I'm thinking?
What?
That spies are sexy.
I've been sleeping with an accountant who's got a lot more tricks up
his sleeve, and I'm getting all knds of ideas for when we get home.
Seriously? It turns you on?
-Ertan. -Huh?
I think the mission's still on, honey.
-Over here, sir. -What for?
You set off the scanner.
No, I didn't; I took everything out, I didn't beep.
-Sir, go back through. -Over there!
-A teacher, hairdresser and manicurist, -You have to go back through.
-Sorry, sir, we're in a hurry. -A dream team if I ever saw one.
Oh My God! You're still here, we made it.
Can we convince you to
not to go home yet?
-She thinks spies are sexy. -Ha!
Cool! You shouldn't keep secrets from your wife.
-Right. -Did you track my location?
You live in Istanbul and we're on an island.
If you want to get home you gotta swim or get on an airplane.
You sure he's not an agent?
Sohh, the team's all hare.
Let's get moving.
Yesss!
Our biggest advantage is that we know who we're looking for.
We don't know his name, but we do know his face.
For now, we stick with Alpha Dog.
Can't we just go with Alpha?
I was thinking Ethem. He was my best friend growing up.
Way catchier than Alpha, don't you think?
How about Coral, it's my favorite nail color.
For the love of God, we're not chaning the name.
The data I retrieved from Dragic's computer indicates he'll deliver the
codes tonight at midnight. It'll be happening in the penthouse suite of the
-hotel. -This looks like a good spot.
You can only access it with a fingerprint scanner, and it's safe to say that
fingerprint belongs to Alpha Dog.
He'll have some of his men at the door and on the inside.
This is where you come in with your cart, Aynur.
Ertan to Aynur, can you hear me?
Hi, Ertan. I'm freaking out.
I'm gonna throw up hh.
All over my cart.
Take a deep breath, Aynur; you got this. Try not to get sick, okay; you're
doing great.
This is so stressful.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
My body's sweating in ways I never thought possible.
I don't know how you've done this for so long.
Seda,
don't be so hard on yourself, you've survived years of kindergarten, remember?
You have all the security cameras for the hotel and casino on your screen.
I'll tell you exactly what to do when the time comes. But stay alert:
Let me know if you notice anything unusual
or that catches your attention for some reason.
You gotta be kidding.
Ertan, I'm in position.
Excellent; I knew you could do it.
Now we just stick to the plan.
As soon as you're done, you get outta there
and get your marriage to this clown annuled.
Aynur,
it's the room all the way at the end.
There are two guys at the door, so be cool.
You're a natural, honey, good job.
That's because I have the very best teacher.
Now I really am gonna barf, shushh.
Hello, gentlemen.
Uh… your complimentary beverages.
Elite members only.
For your hydration and so your hands stay soft yet manly.
And big and strong like yours.
Why are you commenting on these guys looks, are you trying to make me
jealous Aynur?
Ignore the clown; you're doing great.
Thank you, sir.
Don't linger is all I'm saying.
Good evening, gentlemen.
We'll take care of that. You can leave.
You'll do it yourself?
If you insist; enjoy your cocktails.
It's getting steamy.
But not how my husband thinks.
-That means she triggered the gas, Zafer. -I deserved that one.
I'm in the hall.
I'll go change, but I'm not putting on another wig, they're way too hot.
Seda, come in. You're up, honey.
What do I press?
We'll start with controlling the table so Alpha Dog get sit to himself.
Is it not your job?
It's already set up, left click the window.
-Left what? -The yellow square.
Left click on the yellow square. No, hold on.
Use control, alt, F eight,
up above.
-Up above? -The function key, above the letters.
Above the letter is numbers and the signs.
No up above the numbers, you have the funcion keys. Never mind, I'll figure
out.
He's playing with thousands.
-How's it going, my friend? -You're ridiculous.
I said we have to be discreet, and you come in looking like a Vegas lounge
-singer. -Yeah, soI don't get recognized.
Nobody knows you here, the point is to not get noticed.
Anyway, you ready?
Just hand over the chips.
-Are you watching the cameras, honey? -No, I'm not, Ertan.
You said you were gonna figure it out.
Seda, is this a goodtime to talk with that tone in your voice?
I'm sorry, okay?
Okay, so what's next?
Get ready for the reader.
For the prints. Go get 'em.
Aynur, come do your thing.
Coming.
Timing is key, team, show me what you've got.
-I think I like this one. -Hey, boss.
-And this… -Look at this.
That's okay, it can wait.
-Oh, alright. -Okay.
-On this one? -Excuse me?
-I believe this is yours. -No, on this one.
You dropped it.
It was on the floor, you dropped it, sir.
Oh, thank you!
All good. Zafer, you're on.
Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop!
Pardon me!
I think you have something of mine?
I dropped a chip earlier, a black one, I guess it fell out of my pocket
-and rolled under there. -Is there a problem here? What's going on?
Uh… I saw a black chip under the table and I thought this man dropped
it on the floor.
I dropped it on the floor it's my thousand.
I was in this zone thirty seconds ago,
-check the cameras, they'll show you. -Hey we don't need to argue.
Check the cameras on table eleven; the gentleman in the white jacket says
he dropped a chip.
The camera's will show us who dropped it.
So, no need for the camera.
Keep it.
Uh so I'm fine not checking the camera if you're settling it.
-It's fine. -I'm not willing to settle!
It's yours.
Come on!
I don't want anyone to doubt the truth or think I was lying.
I want to prove my innocence. Cameras saw the whole thing.
-Just show everyone it's mine. -You're killing me, just be quiet.
And then
cocktails on the house.
I'll have a glass of champagne you bring it over here while I wait; tell 'em
to pour a good one none of that cheap stuff.
-Why does he refuse to leave? -Uh…
He dropped it.
-See?! -Hey!
It's yours!
Keep it and go play.
-Go play, the cameras proved it's yours. -Please, don't worry about it.
Like a goal disallowed by video review.
-So we're good, sir? -Sure we're good, of course.
There's just one last thing, uh this floor's prob'ly filthy
Hand spray. For germs.
Just spray a little on.
Clean your hands.
It's lemon.
-Sure. -Let me.
-There. That's it. -Lemon?
I love lemon, Lemon. Lemon. Lemon lemon. Lemon for everyone. Thank you, have a
good day. Good luck. Hope you win. See ya.
-I hate that shit. -You're a sick bastard, you know that?
What a fucking idiot.
I got it done, didn't I?
We've got fifteen minutes before it wears off.
Shit. I left my card in one of the slots.
-I'm just gonna go get it real quick. -Forget it, there's no time.
I put good money on it; I'm not just gonna let it go to waste in there.
-Pstt -I'll be really quick.
Aahhh! Stupid ass!
Alpha Dog's leaving. He stopped playing.
Stay calm everyone.
Alpha Dog and Dragic are right behind you.
Please, take your time while they leave.
-He's… -Hey, look!
Jackpot!
Jackpot city!
I hit the five million!
-Wooh! Baby we hit the jackpot! -God damyou to fucking hell, Zafer.
We just won five million!
Did ya see that? I did it, I hit the jackpot, this is a good day.
Thank you, thank you very much. Baby, did you see?
This is so crazy!
Congratulations. Let's pop a bottle of champagne.
Wow! This is incredible! Oh wow, champagne! Like a champion!
-I love it! -This is great! Congratulations!
Thanks, thanks, thank you.
Let's have a toast. Go ahead.
-You're so lucky! -You're not taking that outta my winnings,
are you?
I love this day!
This jackpot?!
Do you think I have to pay any taxes on it?
I've never won a jackpot, but I think they keep some.
We still get about four point one million if they take eighteen percent, that's
I don't know the tax rate.
Ask them tomorrow when you get the cheque.
Good, right?
Are you nuts?
Tomorrow's too late, we gotta get that in the bank right away; I sent my
-wife to go get it. -You did what?
-I sent Aynur. -Aynur, come in.
Where are you? Can you please go meet Seda in the room.
No problem.
I'm just about to leave with the millions on a card.
I'll be done in just a minute.
I can't believe you're doing this.
We're up against a criminal mastermind and you're cashing your cheque.
She said they put in on a card.
Coast is clear.
Quiet.
Seda, we need an update, honey.
-Go ahead. -Is Alpha Dog still in the casino?
He is, but he's not gambling.
Okay, on the bottom right hand corner of the screen there are colored squares.
Green and yellow.
I'll tell you which one to click on in just a minute.
-Roger that. -Nice one, partner.
Gonna look through walls with ultra- sonic lazer tech shit.
Congrats on the jackpot, Zafer.
I'm very happy for you.
Thanks!
This could really change our lives.
The salon's doing alright, but we've actually been saving up to buy a car.
And we want to do some renovations, so we can expand.
But, depending how much they took out, we might not have that much, and five
-million these days, with inflation… -Do I need to stun you?
Hold this for me.
What is it?
A depth perception alternating mobile projector.
Mission Impossible had one. When Tom Cruise used it to sneak into
the Russian something or other,
it's a frame that moves with you kind of invisible?
I didn't see that one.
One of my friends works in import-export, and I asked him if he could get me
one, but he said no. Customes won't allow it.
I really wanted to get one for my kids, so if you don't need it after we're
done, can I borrow it?
-Of course you can't. -Dammit.
Seda.
Please click the green button on the count of three.
So on three, you mean?
Or after you count to three and then I click on it?
No… it's…
One, two, three.
That's confusing, bro.
It's either 'Honey
one, two, click;
Or one, two, three, then…
bam.
One. Two. Three.
You click on it.
Why are you complicating things? Click on the clap.
Then you should say 'clap, clap, click', That makes more sense.
Unless you want her to do the countdown so you can click.
Maybe we'll just count backwards.
So I'm counting backwards and you're clapping three times?
Just click on the green box, dammit.
In the future you come click on the square.
Ugh!
Is this a blanket?
Right now I wish it were.
You have a good one.
You too.
A lucky night, huh?
Slow and steady, slow and steady.
-Field synchronization active. -What does that mean?
-Depth stabilized. -English, please?
We're fucking invisible behind this thing.
That's more like it.
This means you freeze.
Not in my neighborood.
In the military?!
With double-sided baseboards all along the hallway.
There's five different ones.
Yes, we remove the carpet, sand the floors, put the carpet back on.
Yes.
There's a bunch of floors because it's a really big hotel and now we have
someone in our way.
But you know Zafer always come's through, it'll be done on time.
I only have four installments 'til it's paid off, dipshit.
You think it's fun breaking a guy's phone?
I use that phone for work; I'm sorry, I promised
myself I wouldn't, but he crossed the line.
-Zafer. -Did that bastard knock me out?
My glasses are on your jacket.
You took cae of them real good.
I did?
The flash was a brilliant tactic, impressive.
Show no mercy, that's always been my motto.
I hope they're not dead, though.
Can you give me a little warning next time?
Yeah, man, sorry.
You still owe me a new phone.
Get the chip.
Huh!
Oh!
Ah!
It's huge. Our house is half this size.
Ertan, I'm thinking honest work's overrated.
Yeah, like you won your millions doing honest work at the slots?
I had to act like a guy who enjoys gambling to make this work, it's
not like I committed a crime. Chill.
You guys better finish up because Alpha Dog's on the move.
-The safe's somewhere here. -You sure?
-I'm sure. I just can't find it. -What're we looking for?
Ertan.
-They're heading towards the elevator. -Pull the bar open towards you.
-Ahah! -There it is.
Now, we just need to figure out the password.
-Moscow guy one two three four. -Huh?
Put it in: Moscow guy one two three four; it's basic detective work.
You spent the night with Dragic.
He isn't Turkish, he's Serbian; which means Iron Curtain;
which was behind the Union of Soviet Social Republics,
And if you were in the biggest country in the union you were in:
Moscow. It's simple.
You gotta think
like a terrorist, not like a secret agent; you gotta choose a
tribute to the homeland: Moscow guy one two three four.
Alpha Dog isn't Russian.
I'm just spit balling here, choose whatever country you want, see if
you get it open.
They're on the tenth floor, you need to hurry.
Come on.
Hold on, hold on, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Just crack it open, forget the code.
For fuck's sake, the only way to crack it open is to blow up the minibar!
Jesus!
-They're heading down the hall. -We gotta go.
Shut up, I've got this.
We'll go through the vent.
Zafer, could you please stop interrupting?
Fuck!
If we go up the vent, they won't catch us.
Zafer, you go, I'll catch up.
Fuck!
Why are you being so stubborn, everyone knows the vent is how you escape!
For the love of God, stop talking.
They're trying to break down the door, honey!
I can hear that, thank you.
Open the fucking door! You're dead!
Come on, I'll help you up there.
I'll just pop the cover off and we climb out.
Ertan, just forget the mission!
For germs. lemon, lemon.
Nationality - Date of Birth
Come on, man.
Ertan, the vent!
There's nothing here.
It's gone!
What did I tell you? You can never go wrong with the vent.
-You were right, Zafer. -I'll admit it looks easier in the movies.
I nearly peed my pants, how the hell do you deal with this stress every day?
We need to pack everything and get on the first plane out of here.
Are you paying?
You just got millions put on a gift card, you can fly us all out in first class.
Oh-hoh.
This isn't good.
Hey.
Bring the cards,
and you'll get them back.
-Move, move. -You don't need to push.
-Ertan! -Zafer!
Hey, ladies.
Oh, my shoe.
-I dropped it. -Are you okay?
-Yeah, baby. -Ertan!
No cards.
Bravo.
I mean it.
This wasn't easy.
Hey uh…
You dropped this in the room.
Give me my cards.
Listen, brother. You have a problem with me.
We'll settle this between us, our women are innocent, you need to
let them go.
The cards are in a safe place.
Release the women, take the cards.
That's reasonable.
Only one girl stays.
And one goes; you choose.
He does have the upper hand right now, we have to do what he says.
-So I pick my wife, let's go. -Why your wife?
-Sit down. -Obvioously it should be my wife.
What the hell man! No way! We'll get both of them back, who cares who
-goes first? -I don't want my wife with these guys.
Aynur, it's not that I don't care about you, it' s just that I care about Seda
more,
she just forgave years of lies, myone precious wife has to come first.
Aah!
His one precious wife, he thinks she's worth more, because I've had two
-and he's only had one. -Ohh! Ohhh!
Cause, you know, I found her in the gutter.
You have no right to judge us cuz he's divorced.
-It's my first, I have a ring, it counts! -I never said it didn't count!
Heeyy!
Shut up! This is getting outta hand.
Everyone stays.
Zafer!! Babe!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
He's got a gun! Do what he says.
Give me the cards.
-Don't make me do this. -Give him what he wants.
-Give him what he wants, Ertan. -Release the women, take the cards.
-Zafer! -Don't make me do this.
Zoran!
Ready when you are.
-I'm gonna count to three. -Ah!
-Zafer! -One.
Give him what he wants.
Two.
He's gonna kill us all, do what he says, give him the cards.
Ertan, please!
-Give it, give it, give it, give it, -Give him the cards, man; I don't
-give it! -wanna get shot.
Three.
Now stop flirting.
Congratulations, Ertan.
You prevented a huge disaster.
Thanks, but he deserves the credit.
Although I would have prefered a heads up that Nine was still running the
mission so I could keep my wife out of danger.
We needed a diversion.
Huh!
I went up on that roof with a bulletproof vest but no weapons.
The only way to get to Alpha Dog,
was to let Dragic put me out of commission.
What really saved us was when you sent the Serb out the window getting the
laptop that one night.
You allowed Agent Nine to breach their defenses.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Did you ever consider what would you would have happened that night if Dragic
killed me first?
Never mind that Seda was there without any protection.
You put DISCO before my wife; would I get a medal if she got hurt?
Ertan! We did nothing,
you decided to drag
three people into this mess; DISCO had nothing to do with it.
I wouldn't have let anything happen to Seda.
Not a peep.
Ultrasonic drywall?
Hard as a rock.
This sucks. There's nothing to do.
And the poor guy's probably getting yelled at and ripped to shreds.
If he comes out of there in one piece it'll be a miracle.
But he saved the mission.
He's getting fired again for sure. And maybe he'll go to jail.
-Are you serious? -You think they mentioned us?
I'm not sure they think of us as spy material.
Forget I asked you.
I did want to ask you something, but I was waiting for the right time.
Will they let me use this for parking?
-Yes they will, Zafer. -Cool.
I'm sure it'll work. Make sure you try on your way out.
See. You can use it to pay tolls too.
-Probably even a line of credit. -You think so, hunh?
I do.
What if something had happened to that couple?
Zafer and Aynur? Oh, those two are bulletproof.
No one can get rid of them no matter how hard they try.
He's either dumb or brave as hell.
Yes he is. You can say that again.
Although I pretty much wanted to strangle you with my bare hands for
the trouble you caused, you did go above and beyond to fulfill your mission.
-Bravo. -Ertan;
you pounded those fuckers to a pulp.
-Congratulations. -Mr. Vehbi!
For crying out loud, shut your fucking mouth.
Now get lost.
Show some respect next time.
Where was I?
Ertan.
After two weeks of investigation
and a thorough review of your actions
D.I.S.C.O. has a recommendation for your future.
-Honey, -How'd it go?
-You look so… -Dude?
D'you ask about my thing?
You know, Zafer, we really wanted to discuss the zoning issuses for your
potential expansion, but we didn't have time.
It's pretty complex stuff, I get it.
-It's cool. -We'll get there.
Mmh.
-I can wait. -You couldn't change their minds?
They had camera's every step of the way, and they saw it all.
Even though the operation was successful,
I took the kind or risks that could prove tricky for my positon.
Hypocrites, they put you in that situation.
It's not fair.
You did good. Don't be sad.
You'll get a job somewhere else.
Actually I have an obligation to work for them.
In a new position.
Holy shit,
-You're not fired. -You're an agent!
-Shhh! -He's an agent!
It's so damn sexy.
-Shhh! -Ertan!
Thanks to you all.
-Amazing, and you stay out of jail. -This is so exciting. They're so lucky
-Thanks. You do get some credit. -Ahem
-to have you. -You better enjoy it now, babe.
Training starts tomorrow.
My instructor.
Celebrate.
After today, he is mine for a while.
What the hell is he mad at me for?
I think he's used to having the best hair around here.
Since we're celebrating,
I have a little surprise of my own.
Your schedule worked!
Seda, that's amazing!
You did it! Oh!
Ohh!
-This isamazing, Seda!! -Thank you.
Look at him, like a dear in the headlights. he's in shock; she's
pregnant. Two lines on the pee stick, she's knocked up.
I already knew, you think she would tell you guys first?
-Guess not. -Congrats!
-You guys need to catch up. -Amen. I don't mind working overtime.
I'm sure.
-Let's go pop the champagne; I brought -It's so exciting.
-For you to drink. some -I'll drink yours.
Why don't you two go ahead, honey. Zafer and I'll catch up in minute.
-Don't drink it all, ladies. -Okay, don't keep us waiting.
-Okay. -Don't be lifting anything heavy.
Seda, I'm so happy for you!
It's thanks to you, Zafer.
Stop with that; you're a good friend, I would die for you.
Let's hope it doesn't go that far. So uh…
how's the salon?
Better than ever; we hired Aynur's cousin to decorate with the caching
that I won us, and my customers love it; I'm killing it.
-Hair magician. -Hair magician.
-I hope we'll keep in touch after this? -I hope so too.
We might not come into the big city much, but you visit whenever you want; door's
-open. -How about a cruise or something?
Visa's cost a fortune; passports get lost.
-Hanh? Huh-uh. -And we're a tiny bit behind you guys.
We haven't travelled too much, so we're nervous.
-Zafer. -Yeah, bro.
-We need to meet the girls. -I know.
I'll go first, and you wait here for this to ring.
If you answer, it means you're in.
It's your decision.
By answering this call,
you have agreed to participate in the secret agent training program.
Zafer Kirik, welcome to DISCO.
You're lucky, man, your nape has the kind of look people pay big
money for.
We just need to make sure this doesn't move.
What do you think?
I look like someone who looks in his parents basement, I want more
flow, like yours.
This kinda flow compliments my face structure; you're more of a pear
shape, we'll try something else.
It think it's a mouse.
-That's a big fucking mouse. -It must eat a lot of room service.
It's growing on me.
Let's go with it.
You have it on backwards, but if you like it, that's cool.
-Forget it, I'll look stupid. -Your decision.
I'm terrified of rats, and I'm pretty sure that is one.
You're terrified of rats? I love them, I have one that sleeps at the foot
of my bed. Get over it.
No, I'm telling you, I can't; we gotta find another way.
What? Are you kidding; there's only one way. Forward.
Back up. It's gonna attack.
I tried her birthday, our wedding day, the first time I did her
hair; nothing's working.
Moscow guy one, two, three, four?
-It's big as a cat. -We're bigger than cats.
-We go back and… -Nu-uh.
Yeah we go back and talk to Alpha Dog, anything can be solved by talking.
You talk enough for both of us, I'll wait here, and you go work things out.
Okay, but how do I turn around? Some of my best work, you'll love it.
-I look the same as when I sat down. -Amateur.
Just swing your head to the right.
Look at that braid work; it's to die for.
-Perfection. -Get it off.
I think I'm stuck, can you go forward?
You want me to go closer to the rat? Just wiggle free.
I'm freaking out.
Just breathe, man.
Something touched my foot, it has friends.
Something touched my foot! I think it's crawling up my leg.
Aah!
How big is it?
Hair magician. four one zero for zero one zero one.
Where'd you get those numbers?
Four bridal parties, ten perms forty color treatments
-and over one hunded blow dries. -In twenty-four hours, my friend.
It looks so good, I'm telling you.
-I'm still bald. -With the balding, it's too beautiful.
The mullet; This is it.
I look like Erkin Koray,
And by the way, why would I wear a wig if it doesn't cover up the bald spot?
You wanted natural; I gave you natural.
Argh! That friggin' ass.
I've got one more up my sleeve, but it's risky.
No risk, no reward, let's do it.
Ah!
-Dam, bro'. -The platinum is a bold choice.
Sometimes the answer's in the mirror.
I don't have the face for it.
Why won't it come off?
-Zafer! -I used top-shelf glue, man.
Ertan, I'm begging.
Just one song, please.
Enough, Zafer, you're drunk.
Yeah, man.
So are you.
And tomorrow, we won't remember, so come on.
What happened in Cyprus, stays in Cyprus.
I promise I won't ask again if you do me this one favor, tonight.
Just one last time, partner.
-You swear? -So swear.
-Just once. -And then it's history.
Swear on your mother?
All over my mother.
Tell him, not to mention my name again
Tell him, I haven't forgotten his lies
Tell him, I've saved his sins for the afterlife
Tell him, so he knows
Tell him!