1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:10,093 [jazzy music] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:17,142 * * 5 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,740 - Shit, if I was at home, and I saw this, 6 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,284 I'd be like, who the fuck is Jim Downey? 7 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:37,245 - Why would we do a documentary on a writer? 8 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:38,788 - I think it's great that Lorne has found 9 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,958 another way to make money, uh, by doing films 10 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,626 about staff members. 11 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:48,048 - God, it's so hard to distill the Downer. 12 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,467 - Maybe they won't know his face, 13 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:53,470 but everybody knows his work. 14 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,471 - Governor Bush? 15 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,056 - Strategery. 16 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,225 [laughter] 17 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,978 - Mmm, Colon Blow. 18 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,646 Sounds delicious. 19 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,732 - Have you ever made love on one of the five 20 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,651 existing copies of the Magna Carta? 21 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,820 - Remember when you were with the Beatles? 22 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,156 [laughter, applause] 23 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:17,327 - Sure, sure. 24 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,745 - That was awesome. 25 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,246 [laughter] 26 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,916 - Jim's good work is just as funny now 27 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:24,209 as it was when he did it, 28 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:28,171 whether it was in 1976, 1996. 29 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,881 - Please, Larry! 30 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,300 - And look at how much comedy has changed since 31 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:35,261 Jim Downey started on "Saturday Night Live." 32 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,514 [laughter] 33 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,015 - It's something I'm not gonna do. 34 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,350 Not gonna do it. 35 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,060 - [whispering] You're a [bleep] dog. 36 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,978 [laughter] 37 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,356 - There is nobody who knows Downey that 38 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,233 doesn't put him as number one. 39 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:51,486 - He was one of the reasons I wanted to start writing. 40 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,779 - There's nobody else like this. 41 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,114 - Me, Captain. - No, no. 42 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,240 - Punish me. 43 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,199 - Hi, I'm Norm Macdonald, 44 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,034 and this is the fake news. 45 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,744 - [operatic singing] 46 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,414 - His language lives here, and without that language, 47 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,041 so much of this place wouldn't have been established. 48 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,378 - How'd that someone get attacked by a rabbit? 49 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,172 - That's what we do. 50 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,634 [cheers and applause] 51 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,637 - More than anyone, at least for that first 20 years, 52 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,557 he became the voice of the show. 53 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,351 I would think I probably was in the '70s, 54 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,855 but I more and more began to realize 55 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,481 if something important had to be said, 56 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,567 that I'd go to Jim on it. 57 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:33,445 [ethereal music] 58 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,031 * * 59 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,742 [jazzy music] 60 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,326 * * 61 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,203 - One way you could start this, I thought, 62 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,955 is you hear a voice. 63 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:54,049 There's nothing the general public hates more 64 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:58,428 than looking at or listening to a writer talk. 65 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:03,683 * * 66 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:08,063 This is my first office that I shared with Bill Murray. 67 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,940 - Jim Downey and I, we went to work the same week 68 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,859 at "Saturday Night Live." 69 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,070 - This was his first encounter with, you know, 70 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,613 professional show business. 71 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,199 And because Bill Murray was coming in as well, 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,035 I put them together in that office. 73 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:25,622 And it was--it was not a natural fit at the beginning. 74 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,083 - Like some sort of a bad roommate movie where 75 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,293 we'd come in and go, like, oh, you. 76 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,795 There you are, you know. 77 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,672 And he'd be off, like, writing sketches, 78 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,382 and I'd be like, oh, hi, Jim. 79 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,508 [laughter] 80 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,259 Hi, Bill. 81 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,387 - But it turned into something wonderful. 82 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,805 - What is your test? 83 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,473 - Do you see that boulder over there? 84 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,058 I want you to lift it. 85 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,559 - That boulder is too large. 86 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,395 I could lift a smaller one. 87 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,896 - Even though we were slow 88 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,523 to get to know each other, 89 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,566 Jim Downey's the one that I'd say that 90 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,735 I'm friends with, of all the people that I work with. 91 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,405 - I mean, we would write all night. 92 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,657 You know, crash on the couch. 93 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:04,160 Billy brought in, like, a little hibachi grill. 94 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,080 He was trying to grill a little steak or something, 95 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,623 and set off the sprinkler. 96 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,791 [alarm ringing] 97 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,626 And so that put a quick stop 98 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,087 to, you know, our little Benihana. 99 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:17,424 [indistinct chatter] 100 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,135 At "Saturday Night Live," 101 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,220 you come up with an idea, 102 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:27,809 and it's gonna be on television five days later. 103 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:28,935 I mean, it's crazy. 104 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,937 - 10 seconds! 105 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,523 - There's a lot of rewriting between dress and air. 106 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:37,527 It kicks you into that kind of animal adrenaline state 107 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,698 where you either get something remarkable, 108 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,660 or you fail spectacularly. 109 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,413 You don't get that anywhere else. 110 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,332 [cheers and applause] 111 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,670 For those of you sitting through this just in hopes 112 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,005 of learning something about 113 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,882 how you write a really good sketch, 114 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,884 this is a formula. 115 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,345 And mind you, you're not to copy this formula. 116 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,554 This is my formula. 117 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:09,601 * * 118 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,104 - Jim invented a type of American comedy 119 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,566 of, like, hyper-nuance. 120 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:21,279 - I have a fondness for the comedy of someone 121 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:25,450 very painstakingly, laboriously explaining something 122 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,328 that doesn't even need any explanation to begin with 123 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,498 and also getting it wrong. 124 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:35,293 - I needed to take the bus but all I had was a $5 bill. 125 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,504 I went to First CityWide, and they were able to give me 126 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,714 four singles and four quarters. 127 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,257 [laughter] 128 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,968 - "Change Bank" was a perfect example, 129 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:48,848 at length discussing something that doesn't need explaining. 130 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,392 - We will work with the customer 131 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,893 to give that customer the change 132 00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,520 that he or she needs. 133 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,230 If you come to us with a $20 bill, 134 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,731 we can give you two tens. 135 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,274 We can give you four fives. 136 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,610 We can give you a ten and two fives. 137 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,946 We will work with you. 138 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,781 - "Change Bank" is so specific. 139 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,616 There was an idea, there was the attitude, 140 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,952 there was performance and then the absurdity 141 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,620 of how far it was taken. 142 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,164 - We are not gonna give you change that you don't want. 143 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,542 If you come to us with a $100 bill, 144 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,544 we're not gonna give you 2,000 nickels. 145 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,212 [laughter] 146 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,841 - A slender premise like that but under such controlled, 147 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,009 uh, execution-- 148 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,886 - Jim gives you no indication 149 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,014 that anything funny is happening here. 150 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,890 - Like, that was an interesting thing about Jim's sketches, 151 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:34,477 is that you had to deliver it so straight and so on the line. 152 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,732 And not just straight, but in his rhythm that he wrote it in. 153 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,191 And it would work perfectly. 154 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,819 - Yeah, it's true. 155 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,612 - Thank you. 156 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,197 At Global Century, we like to be completely 157 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,158 upfront with our clients. 158 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,701 That's why in our prospectus we clearly state 159 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,119 that our investment advice 160 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,288 is often self-interested or deceitful 161 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,498 and may work to a client's disadvantage. 162 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,834 We think you deserve to know that. 163 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,338 - Jim is deadly serious when he's presenting you his comedy, 164 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,673 and the people in his comedy are deadly serious. 165 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,009 - It's like, if you weren't watching closely, 166 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,262 you wouldn't know that comedy was on the TV. 167 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,139 - Like a lot of us here, I followed your broker's advice 168 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,515 and over the last few years, 169 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,601 I've lost 80% of my life savings. 170 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,186 - That does not surprise me at all. 171 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,355 - I'd just like to say that even though I think 172 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,981 you're an evil person, and even though I came here 173 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,524 intending to kill you, 174 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,485 I've been really impressed with your honesty. 175 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,528 [laughter, applause] 176 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,946 [soft music] 177 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,033 - Writing comedy is either easy or it's impossible. 178 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,868 * * 179 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,829 Any writer will tell you most of their good ideas come 180 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,165 when they're doing something else and they're not trying 181 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,167 to come up with an idea. 182 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,003 We're just going through our ordinary lives, 183 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:45,215 experiencing things, when something hits us. 184 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,467 * * 185 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,594 The really good stuff just flows. 186 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,888 You can barely write fast enough. 187 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,933 That's an awful lot better than sitting at your desk 188 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:58,436 staring at a blank legal pad. 189 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,605 - Hi, I'm Dale Sturtevant. 190 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,899 I've been raising dogs since I was six, 191 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,734 and nothing has brought me more joy 192 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,528 or more sheer frustration 193 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,862 than training a puppy. 194 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,322 With a very young pup, 195 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,824 correcting problem behavior 196 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,242 can be especially maddening. 197 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,619 And like you, I've probably tried all the tricks-- 198 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,163 screaming myself hoarse, starving them, 199 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,416 locking them in a closet for days on end, 200 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,459 or just beating them without mercy. 201 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,753 But after my third arrest and court-ordered 202 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,256 anger management counseling, I learned to channel 203 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,427 my rage into an effective, nonviolent puppy training tool. 204 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,346 It's called "Dissing Your Dog." 205 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,307 - That just began with training my dog 206 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:39,602 and just kind of cranking up a normal experience 207 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,980 to silly dimensions. 208 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,524 - Oh, right, Margaret, you wanted prime rib. 209 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,109 Here's the deal, 210 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,319 the Palm wasn't taking reservations, 211 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,238 and I didn't want to try Morton's because I understand 212 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,698 they have a new chef, 213 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,992 so for now, let's just go with the ALPO. 214 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,577 OK, I understand it's not your first choice, 215 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,911 but keep in mind... 216 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,747 [whispering] You're a [bleep] dog. 217 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,958 [laughter] 218 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,252 - It's a perfectly-written piece for Will. 219 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:08,340 It's an attitude thing that's taken so seriously. 220 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,302 - When you're writing a piece for television, 221 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,346 there's a million different ways I could say, 222 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,513 could you turn out that light? 223 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,556 It's a little bright. 224 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,524 There aren't a million different ways to tell a joke. 225 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:30,528 Most of what makes us laugh is something that's true, 226 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,531 that just--you've never heard it put that way before. 227 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,575 I'm always looking for 228 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,869 the perfect version of that joke. 229 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,829 [jazzy music] 230 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,039 - It's not too late. 231 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,374 You could be peppers. 232 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,333 - Oh, this is my slave. 233 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,459 His name is Phil. 234 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,585 [laughter] 235 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,796 - I was in Paris. Went to the Louvre. 236 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,465 I tell ya, I don't know what the big deal is. 237 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,802 Just one out-of-focus sculpture after another. 238 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,012 - No matter how hard you scrub, 239 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,014 no matter how hard you clean, 240 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:02,352 you just can't rid your home of sewer rats. 241 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,062 * * 242 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,898 - It was this two-part thing of nonexistent problem, 243 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,942 ineffective solution. 244 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,528 - A problem that isn't really a problem. 245 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,905 It sheds light on the way in which the people talking 246 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,658 about it are the real problem. 247 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,742 [laughs] 248 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,953 - Sleepytime Rat Control. 249 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,455 It's not a poison. It's not a trap. 250 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,959 It's a powerful sedative that puts rats to sleep-- 251 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,461 deep sleep. 252 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,588 - I wouldn't say rats are a nonexistent problem. 253 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,758 But sewer rats in your home is a nonexistent problem. 254 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,176 - So why live with this... 255 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,095 [boinging] 256 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,348 - I was under the bed, like, punching the mattress, 257 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,350 and then we slowed it down and gave it 258 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,102 some boing, boing, boing, boing, boing 259 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,353 kind of sound effects. 260 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,480 - When you can have this? 261 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,358 [sawing, lullaby playing] 262 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,027 - [quietly] That's more like it. 263 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,778 - The joy is just watching everybody 264 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,989 in that ad is so committed to, 265 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,907 we've got the solution to the problem. 266 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,452 And...[laughs] The rats are surrounding 267 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,705 the bed sleeping peacefully, 268 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,958 but no one ever removes the rats. 269 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:11,129 - You'll sleep better knowing they're sleeping. 270 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,299 - A lot of "SNL" is just wasting the audience's time 271 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,593 with a nonexistent problem and an ineffective solution 272 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,846 that made someone like Jim laugh really hard. 273 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,432 - Mr. President, there is one other item on the agenda. 274 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,310 It seems we're scheduled to hear a presentation 275 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,936 from that frontiersman. 276 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,104 What's his name again? 277 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,315 [banging] 278 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,026 - The name is Johnny. 279 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,444 Johnny Canal. 280 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,988 - * Johnny Canal * 281 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,990 - John Candy had a sensibility that was 282 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,201 kind of close to Downey's. 283 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,078 They loved these historical figures 284 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,413 with really stupid ideas. 285 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,165 - What I am proposing, gentlemen, 286 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,585 is a system of canals knitting together every corner 287 00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,088 of this great land of ours. 288 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,548 - "Johnny Canal" with John Malkovich is 289 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,801 number one in my Downey book. 290 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:01,388 And it has the same kind of pace that I really liked, 291 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,015 and that I was not always brave enough to pursue. 292 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,643 - Excuse me, Mr. Canal. 293 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,312 Is it your proposal that every town, 294 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,232 even the tiniest villages, have literally hundreds 295 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,109 of canals running in and out of them? 296 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,777 - Or more! 297 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,655 - My favorite part is the president 298 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,658 taking time to explain why it's a bad idea. 299 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,660 - Well, your plan is certainly an intriguing one, 300 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:27,414 but there are several points that you haven't touched on. 301 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,250 For example, the proposed cost of this project, 302 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,960 how long it would take to build, 303 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,129 who would maintain it once it was built, 304 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:37,173 would these be toll canals or free, 305 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,843 how would the rights to the land be obtained, by-- 306 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,761 - And then they do a push-in on Malkovich 307 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,555 as the president explains, 308 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,849 and it's just pushing in on Malkovich's face, 309 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,684 and you're reading that he hasn't thought 310 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:51,146 through any of the logistics. 311 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,731 That is Downey's humor. 312 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,777 - I've never been great 313 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,280 at writing plotty kind of things. 314 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,073 I like to establish the premise 315 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,491 as quickly as you can, 316 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,327 then we hope it's gonna be joke, joke, joke, 317 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,829 joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. 318 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:11,374 It's like microwave popcorn, where at first, 319 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,085 it's a flurry of... [imitates popping] 320 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,838 But then, pop. 321 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,548 I wanted to generate jokes that no one 322 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,383 had ever seen before because they came 323 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,178 out of a unique premise. 324 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:27,140 You're trying to reach a critical mass of--of laughs. 325 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,142 - Donde es la biblioteca? 326 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,479 - It's eight jokes around a theme. 327 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,148 Basically, the only purpose of the structure and the story 328 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,525 is to get to those jokes. 329 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,570 [ethereal music] 330 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,654 * * 331 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,783 [clicking] 332 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,785 [gentle music] 333 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,411 - I'm so happy you're doing this, Jim. 334 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,373 It's so exciting! 335 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:56,044 I want to know more about young Jim. 336 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,547 Were you quiet, or were you trying to make people laugh? 337 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,759 - When I was very little, I understand I was very sweet. 338 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,678 When I was in school, I was more of, like, 339 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,264 a class wit than I was a class clown. 340 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,767 My dad loved practical jokes. 341 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,561 I remember he liked to call his friends and go, 342 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,897 Jim, I'm gonna hand you the phone 343 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,942 and you say you're with the health department. 344 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,318 I'd go, what? What do I have to--what? 345 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,153 - [laughs] 346 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,447 - When I was a junior in high school, I was in Chicago, 347 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:28,326 and I saw the "Harvard Lampoon Life Magazine" parody. 348 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,911 I thought it was the funniest thing. 349 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,456 It was the first thing that really spoke to me. 350 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,418 That's what made me want to particularly go to Harvard. 351 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,294 - I went to Harvard... [clears throat] 352 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,381 High School, so I'm almost as smart. 353 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,092 - This would be one of our issues 354 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,052 that was done when I was president. 355 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,763 - The "Lampoon" is the oldest 356 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,433 comedy magazine in the United States. 357 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:54,477 I mean, most college humor magazines meet 358 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,937 in a basement somewhere. 359 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,982 The "Lampoon" is this crazy Flemish castle 360 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,484 that's right near Harvard Square. 361 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,319 [rock music] 362 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:09,159 - In 1972, we did a parody of "Cosmopolitan Magazine." 363 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,121 - That's the famous pinup of Henry Kissinger. 364 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:16,833 Burt Reynolds had posed on a rug like that. 365 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,462 - It would just infuriate most people to go, 366 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,297 this is what these Harvard assholes are 367 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,507 doing with their education. 368 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,844 - But you can make stuff that influences the culture. 369 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,804 - Earlier this month, Harvard University's 370 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,140 humor magazine, the "Harvard Lampoon," 371 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,184 sent movie star John Wayne a letter. 372 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,769 [jazzy music] 373 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,479 - We challenged John Wayne 374 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,648 to come to Cambridge, Massachusetts. 375 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,401 At this point, he was extremely unpopular 376 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,028 on the Harvard campus. 377 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,489 It was like a three-day phenomenon. 378 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,907 [static droning] 379 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,492 - "Duke," John Wayne, was mobbed 380 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,285 in Cambridge, Massachusetts, today. 381 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,621 Police and soldiers had to convoy him 382 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,583 into a Harvard Square theater to face a roasting. 383 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,627 [cheers and applause] 384 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,838 - We had that place, absolutely every seat, filled. 385 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,091 - Hi! 386 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,300 - I was one of the speakers. 387 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,639 I have known John Wayne a very long time. 388 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,140 [laughter] 389 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,350 And... 390 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:22,357 [laughter] 391 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:29,280 That was maybe the first forays into public speaking 392 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,282 where I was trying to make people laugh. 393 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,867 Biggest thing I've ever been involved with. 394 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,537 We were on the front page of every newspaper 395 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:36,788 on planet Earth. 396 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,919 I concentrated in Russian studies at Harvard, 397 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,879 but I spent most of my time at the "Lampoon," 398 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,216 so I pretty much majored in the "Harvard Lampoon." 399 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,302 By the time senior year rolled around, 400 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,013 I just sort of woke up and realized 401 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,390 I had not given any thought to what I was gonna do 402 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,225 with the rest of my life. 403 00:16:57,267 --> 00:17:00,311 - Live from New York, it's Saturday night! 404 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,481 [cheers and applause] 405 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,526 - NBC's Saturday night! 406 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,319 - "Saturday Night Live" started up 407 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,572 at just the right time. 408 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:15,326 I sometimes think about that, wow, how my life has unfolded. 409 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,579 Huge element of chance. 410 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,040 When I was hired at "Saturday Night Live" 411 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,543 I was 24 and the only writer who wore 412 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,420 a suit to the group photo. 413 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,547 That quickly changed. 414 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,800 1976 to 1980, I'm writing, like, 415 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,927 three or four pieces a week. 416 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,012 - Fred Garvin... - You're constantly... 417 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,305 - Male prostitute. 418 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,015 - Throwing stuff out there. 419 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,433 - [grumbles] - Come on in! 420 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,519 - You're not operating out of any playbook. 421 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,813 You don't know what can't be done. 422 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,690 You go, like, how about this? 423 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:48,735 - You don't suppose he'll make me squeal like a pig, do you? 424 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,029 - And then the argument is, why can't we do that? 425 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,072 - Let me show you. 426 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:52,947 I play with it all the time. 427 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:56,034 [laughter] 428 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,827 - And then the grown-ups go, 429 00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,829 actually, I guess you can do that. 430 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,915 - What a marvelous entertainment, Salisbury. 431 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,000 And these chopped steaks are delicious, 432 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,419 especially with this exquisite mushroom sauce. 433 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,587 - Well, thank you. 434 00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:08,713 Coming from you, Worcestershire, 435 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:09,631 that certainly is a compliment. 436 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:11,383 [laughter] 437 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,094 - The Earl of Sandwich. 438 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,680 - The Earl of Sandwich. 439 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:17,639 It's a setup. 440 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,224 - Your Lordship. 441 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,309 - You knew with Jim, there was a turn coming. 442 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,353 There was some moment where he was going 443 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,940 to reveal to you that everything up to this point 444 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:30,068 had been serving a purpose. 445 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,363 - Lord and Lady Douchebag! 446 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,616 [laughter, applause] 447 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,077 [whistling] 448 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,663 - I think we had been holding on to Lord and Lady Douchebag 449 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,540 for, like, four years. 450 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,792 - Douchebag, how are you? 451 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,460 [laughter] 452 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,212 - You could tell that the audience was so thrilled... 453 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,630 - Right. 454 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,173 - That we were doing that kind of material. 455 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,009 - Tell me, Douchebag, when are you going to show us 456 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,677 that invention of yours? 457 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,387 - Yes, Douchebag, just what kind of an invention 458 00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,763 are you sitting on? 459 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,599 [laughter] 460 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,810 - It was all the stuff that we wanted to do, 461 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,729 and we saved it for the end. 462 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,981 [ethereal music] 463 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,275 - There's a saying that we used to use in the '70s, 464 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,694 that if you want to kill somebody talented, 465 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,863 let them do everything they want. 466 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,698 And that was sort of what was happening. 467 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,579 We were unprepared for the level of success 468 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:26,374 and attention that we got, so, uh, people were 469 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,917 offered all sorts of things. 470 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,003 People had more money than they'd ever had, 471 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,088 so it just changes things. 472 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:37,260 And, uh--and that's sort of the price of success. 473 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,220 The sun got too hot. 474 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,266 I think people were proud of what 475 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,353 we'd done in the first five, and...[chuckles] 476 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:49,105 Uh, we left. 477 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:56,196 * * 478 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,167 [static droning, clicks] 479 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,670 - From New York, home of courteous service 480 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,089 and a relaxing atmosphere, 481 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,508 it's "Late Night with David Letterman." 482 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:20,470 - That summer, my mom called me and said, 483 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,931 are you watching this guy David Letterman's show? 484 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,766 I said, no. 485 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,434 Oh, my God, Jim, it's-- it's the funniest show. 486 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,437 It's, no offense, so much funnier than 487 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,398 "Saturday Night Live," so much funnier. 488 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,441 - What's, uh--what's next for you two gentlemen? 489 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,819 - Oh, we'll be down in the, uh, Caribbean. 490 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,821 We're gonna be seizing an Aramco, uh, oil tanker. 491 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,197 - OK. - I just love it. 492 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,991 I just love the whole sensibility of it. 493 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,661 I love the silliness and the braininess of it. 494 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,329 He was himself. 495 00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,373 He was standing apart. 496 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:51,876 - Letterman's show was not only innovative, but it was-- 497 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,628 it was original. 498 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,715 But I think Jim was a big part of that. 499 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,259 - Fall of '81, and Dave Letterman 500 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,886 contacted me and said, hey, we're putting together 501 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,304 a writing staff. 502 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:04,764 - I thought, this is gonna be fantastic. 503 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,100 Jim will be here two or three years. 504 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,269 This will be great for the show, great for me, 505 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,147 and hopefully great for Jim. 506 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:15,817 - My day became basically sitting alone 507 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,445 in an office with Dave for, like, three hours, 508 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:21,072 trying to sell him on stuff. 509 00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:24,034 He was a genius at flicking pencils 510 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,869 into the acoustic tiles. 511 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:29,205 You'd look up, it was just bristling with pencils. 512 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:31,249 And I would go, like, Dave, what about this? 513 00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,251 There's a three-alarm fire in the studio. 514 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:36,546 He'd go, uh-uh. 515 00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,590 Uh-uh. You know? 516 00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,508 - Let me introduce you to our head writer, Mr. Jim Downey. 517 00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:41,509 Jim, come on in. 518 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,053 [applause] 519 00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,471 Frank Zappa. 520 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,222 And you know, of course, Gerard and Bob. 521 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:47,724 - Hi, Jim. 522 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,351 - Uh, what do we have on tap tomorrow night, Jim? 523 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,019 - Uh, we sort of thought you might throw 524 00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:54,147 one of your blue cards at Paul and put his eye out. 525 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,774 [laughter] 526 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,693 [jazzy music] 527 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:00,820 * * 528 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,614 - I can remember in this hallway, 529 00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:03,865 I started talking to Jim, 530 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,201 and he was making me laugh so hard. 531 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,370 That's when I thought, oh, my God, I think 532 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,539 this may be the funniest human I know. 533 00:22:11,706 --> 00:22:13,166 - Sometimes I-- I wear shirts without 534 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,251 really reading what's on them. 535 00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:16,419 [laughter] 536 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,837 - It's crazy. 537 00:22:17,921 --> 00:22:19,589 You know how much time he must have spent 538 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:20,840 with David Letterman? 539 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,259 Like, just in a think tank, 540 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,470 combing over politicians, 541 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:26,888 news of the day. 542 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:29,849 - Ouch! 543 00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:31,476 - Barry White has just been bitten 544 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:33,353 by a northern copperhead. 545 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,938 - I don't want to die, David. 546 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,691 - I think audiences want you to think of things 547 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:38,775 that they couldn't think of. 548 00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:41,194 [laughter] 549 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:44,364 At "Letterman," we were conscious of trying 550 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,157 to teach the audience to appreciate things 551 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,951 they might not have appreciated before. 552 00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,412 - Someone sent this postcard to us in the mail. 553 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,871 What you have here is something called 554 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,581 the world's largest vase. 555 00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:54,958 We thought it would be interesting 556 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,545 if we could find out just exactly where this vase was. 557 00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:00,505 - I mean, we would do running jokes that, 558 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,841 the first time, it died. 559 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,843 We said, no, damn it, this is funny. 560 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,511 I'm sorry, they're wrong. 561 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:10,015 You didn't laugh the first time, but here it is again. 562 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:13,351 - You have the world's largest vase. 563 00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,770 - Uh, that's right. 564 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,439 - Uh, all right. 565 00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:18,690 I'm gonna--I'm gonna ask you 566 00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:20,567 to get a grip on yourself now, and-- 567 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:22,527 - Deliberately wasting the audience's time, 568 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,446 I can't think of that many people 569 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,532 who have had the vision to follow through 570 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,784 with that besides Jim. 571 00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:33,413 - Well, here--here it is, the world's largest vase. 572 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:35,999 - It generated, like, five or six different pieces 573 00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:38,209 that we did on the show. 574 00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,128 There was, like, a black tie event. 575 00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:41,463 And then we had the next night where 576 00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,506 it was the changing of the guard. 577 00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:47,594 - We are adding a 35.5-inch radio transmitting 578 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:50,722 tower to the vase. 579 00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,932 Oh, my God, this is television. 580 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:55,185 This is on American television. 581 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:57,145 - I don't even know if you'd call them sketches. 582 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:59,773 I don't know what--what you'd call what we did on that show. 583 00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,691 - [laughs] 584 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:03,860 Oh, my God. 585 00:24:03,902 --> 00:24:07,530 "Children's Letters to the World's Largest Vase." 586 00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:10,575 This is all you need to know about Jim Downey, right here. 587 00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:15,538 - That era of "Letterman" was the most exciting TV 588 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,374 I had ever seen. 589 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:20,335 It had this confidence of, like, this is what it is, 590 00:24:20,418 --> 00:24:22,379 and you're watching it, and you're gonna keep watching, 591 00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:23,838 'cause we got you. 592 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:26,966 And it's like, yeah, you fucking got me. 593 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:28,093 - Are you still wrestling? 594 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:29,177 - No, not--not really. 595 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:30,637 But I am having a very good time, 596 00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,222 though, with myself. - Uh-huh. 597 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:34,391 [laughter] 598 00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:37,268 And that period of time was really beneficial to us 599 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:40,105 because it then helped attract, uh, 600 00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:43,233 other really good writers to our show. 601 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,902 [applause] 602 00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:48,780 - We did do some, I think, some really good things. 603 00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:50,031 - Now you can blow out the match. 604 00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:51,366 - You're in town visiting? 605 00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:53,159 - Well, um, next month, uh, we'll be 606 00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:56,121 appearing in Atlantic City. 607 00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,080 - Jim, come on in. 608 00:24:57,247 --> 00:24:58,540 [applause] 609 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:01,584 This is Frank Zappa, and you know-- 610 00:25:01,751 --> 00:25:06,047 Lorne started something called "The New Show." 611 00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,552 And, uh, everybody fled. 612 00:25:10,593 --> 00:25:14,139 I wish we would have had more time with Jim. 613 00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:15,765 [clicks, static droning] 614 00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:19,561 - Good evening, and welcome to "The New Show." 615 00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:21,896 [orchestral music] 616 00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,023 [phone rings] 617 00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:25,066 - Hello, Roy's Food Repair. 618 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,401 Yeah, eggs? 619 00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:27,444 Yeah, we fix 'em. 620 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,320 [laughter] 621 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,906 - According to the Fort Lauderdale Police Department, 622 00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:34,075 are the five most common causes of injury 623 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:36,077 suffered by students on spring break. 624 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,746 - We did "The New Show," which was... 625 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,456 [imitates explosion] 626 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:42,792 That's an example of why you want to do stuff live, 627 00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:45,670 'cause, um, 628 00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:47,213 that didn't work. 629 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:50,592 - Hello, it's the Naughty Lady. 630 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,302 - It's her! 631 00:25:52,385 --> 00:25:54,262 It's the Naughty Lady. 632 00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:56,514 - Hot dang! 633 00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:59,059 * * 634 00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:03,646 [projector whirring] 635 00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:06,524 [soft piano music] 636 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:11,529 * * 637 00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:14,741 - 1984, I was on staff at "SNL" 638 00:26:14,783 --> 00:26:17,494 and Jim Downey returned to the show. 639 00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:20,455 The prodigal son came home. 640 00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:21,664 One of the high points of my life 641 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:22,999 was sharing an office with Jim. 642 00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:27,045 We were right off the read-through room. 643 00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:28,922 - Oh, give me a break! 644 00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:30,423 Burned to a crisp. 645 00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,175 Why do I keep forgetting to wear an oven mitt? 646 00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:35,178 Ow! Ow! 647 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:36,596 Ow, ow! 648 00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:41,267 - We never really had had a head writer, per se. 649 00:26:41,351 --> 00:26:46,981 I tried to help every piece be the best version of itself. 650 00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:50,151 It sounds corny, but it's the truth. 651 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:55,073 - And I do have this memory of other cast members and writers 652 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:59,160 lining up outside on Tuesday night, 653 00:26:59,202 --> 00:27:01,371 sometimes well, well, well into the night, 654 00:27:01,496 --> 00:27:04,582 to run their sketches past Jim. 655 00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:08,545 - When I first started, people would wait outside your office 656 00:27:08,628 --> 00:27:10,547 to get time with you. 657 00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:13,758 - Midnight to 3:00 a.m., I would camp outside the door. 658 00:27:13,842 --> 00:27:16,386 And you would wait, and you would wait, and you would wait. 659 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:20,056 And then around 1:30, he'd crack it. 660 00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:22,517 - And the door would open, and I'd go, hey, Jim. 661 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,686 And you'd want to test the idea on him to see, 662 00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:25,729 should we pursue this? 663 00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:27,605 Or is it just awful? 664 00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:30,025 - He knew how to take what we wrote and just go, 665 00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:30,900 well, you don't want to say that. 666 00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:31,943 You want to say this. 667 00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:33,361 - We'd go over Hanz and Franz, 668 00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:35,655 and he'd come up with, like, three different fixes. 669 00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:38,992 Listen to me now and believe me later. 670 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,453 You can't count all the stars, Franz. 671 00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:45,248 It's like trying to count all your muscles. 672 00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:46,791 - Even if you have a sketch that's good, 673 00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:49,794 he can always throw his magic wand on it and make it better. 674 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:52,922 - What I was trying to create for the performer was 675 00:27:53,006 --> 00:27:56,176 an attitude to sort of sink into, you know? 676 00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:57,844 - An overall concept of a thing being funny 677 00:27:57,927 --> 00:28:00,221 and not just, like, setup, punchline, setup, punchline. 678 00:28:00,263 --> 00:28:03,183 The Receptionist was that sort of attitude. 679 00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:04,976 - Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Clark. 680 00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:07,270 - OK, and you are? 681 00:28:07,312 --> 00:28:08,772 - Kenneth Hornaday. 682 00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:10,231 - Right. 683 00:28:10,273 --> 00:28:11,608 I put that together and Downey goes, 684 00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:12,942 I like that attitude. 685 00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:14,778 I like what you're doing. 686 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,071 It's not joke-heavy. 687 00:28:16,196 --> 00:28:17,113 So he sort of steered it. 688 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,990 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Hi, there. 689 00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:20,408 Hi. 690 00:28:20,492 --> 00:28:21,618 - Yeah, I'm here to see Dick Clark. 691 00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:22,702 - Uh-huh. 692 00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:24,996 And you are? 693 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:26,247 - Tell him it's Hammer. 694 00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:29,793 - And he would know you because you... 695 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:30,835 - Look, it's Hammer. 696 00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:32,087 You know, like Madonna. 697 00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:34,172 - Right, and she is... 698 00:28:34,297 --> 00:28:35,799 [laughter] 699 00:28:35,882 --> 00:28:37,967 - Your mama. Never mind. Forget it. 700 00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:41,971 - On "SNL," you could be a genius Saturday night, 701 00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:43,723 and then by Tuesday, if you didn't have an idea, 702 00:28:43,807 --> 00:28:46,017 you felt like the biggest failure, if you were a writer. 703 00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:48,186 - The worst part is you go in and you tell him 704 00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:50,605 your sketch idea, and he goes, 705 00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:52,315 I can't tell you why that wouldn't work. 706 00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:54,275 I just--I don't think that it's gonna work. 707 00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:56,027 So you walk out there at 3:00 a.m. going, 708 00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,362 I have to start over. 709 00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,446 Read-through's tomorrow. 710 00:28:58,571 --> 00:28:59,948 I go knock on Smigel. 711 00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,074 Need help with anything? 712 00:29:01,199 --> 00:29:02,492 Housekeeping. 713 00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:04,244 - You write it yourself, and you go, 714 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:05,829 I don't know, is this any good? 715 00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:07,872 And then when you take it to someone like Jim Downey, 716 00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:11,167 and he says it's really good, then suddenly you go, 717 00:29:11,251 --> 00:29:13,003 well, if Jim thinks it's good, it must be good, 718 00:29:13,044 --> 00:29:14,713 so I'm fine. 719 00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:18,049 - It wasn't until I did the national anthem sketch... 720 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:19,467 * Oh * 721 00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:23,722 * Say * 722 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:27,976 * An ooh ee * 723 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,647 * By the dawn's * 724 00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:37,027 * Early light * 725 00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:40,363 That he went nuts over, that made me feel like, 726 00:29:40,447 --> 00:29:41,948 I think I did something here. 727 00:29:42,073 --> 00:29:44,659 - Jim had such respect from everyone. 728 00:29:44,784 --> 00:29:47,746 He would give you confidence. 729 00:29:47,787 --> 00:29:50,165 - I loved a great impression. 730 00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:52,625 And you bring to that really good writing to the character, 731 00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:53,793 that's pretty hard to top. 732 00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:55,211 - Yeah, yeah. 733 00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:57,422 - My approval ratings are down a little bit. 734 00:29:57,547 --> 00:29:59,799 Don't like the direction they're taking. 735 00:29:59,883 --> 00:30:00,967 This is good here. 736 00:30:01,051 --> 00:30:02,010 That's good. 737 00:30:02,093 --> 00:30:03,511 That's--that's bad. 738 00:30:03,553 --> 00:30:05,013 [laughter] 739 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,389 Worse. 740 00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:08,266 - Dana would duplicate the character, 741 00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:10,477 and then he would italicize it 742 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,686 and stretch it and pull it out of shape. 743 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:14,314 - Notice I didn't say recession. 744 00:30:14,356 --> 00:30:18,568 Well, as an undecided Latino voter-- 745 00:30:18,610 --> 00:30:19,652 Natural disaster. 746 00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:21,988 Not my fault. 747 00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:23,406 And then we had this one phrase, 748 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,075 which I remember specifically. 749 00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:26,701 You wrote it. 750 00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:28,953 On the paper it was, not going to do it. 751 00:30:29,037 --> 00:30:30,080 And that became-- 752 00:30:30,163 --> 00:30:31,956 - And it became, nah-gah-dah. 753 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:32,999 - On the cue card. 754 00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:35,168 Not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. 755 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:36,878 Ah-gah-bah. 756 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,214 Once the audience went with that, we had them. 757 00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:40,256 * We're not gonna lose * 758 00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:41,800 * Not gonna do it * 759 00:30:41,841 --> 00:30:44,302 * Not gah, not gah * 760 00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:45,720 * Not gonna do it * 761 00:30:45,887 --> 00:30:47,430 [jazzy music] 762 00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:51,226 - You, watching this at home, worship me! 763 00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:54,604 I command you, become my willing thralls 764 00:30:54,646 --> 00:30:56,398 and live eternally! 765 00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:59,609 - That much oat bran... 766 00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:00,610 - What the hell do you think you're doing? 767 00:31:00,735 --> 00:31:02,987 * * 768 00:31:03,029 --> 00:31:05,073 - You tell somebody a joke, 769 00:31:05,156 --> 00:31:07,367 most people will make it worse, 770 00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:12,038 but there's 10% who will bring it back to you better. 771 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,873 And so that's why we introduced 772 00:31:13,957 --> 00:31:16,292 the Thursday rewrites, to have everyone there 773 00:31:16,376 --> 00:31:18,503 offer up quick suggestions. 774 00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:21,423 We never had rewrites in the first five years of the show. 775 00:31:21,464 --> 00:31:23,800 I added them when you joined the show-- 776 00:31:23,925 --> 00:31:25,468 - When I joined the show. 777 00:31:25,552 --> 00:31:26,636 It was like, this guy's gonna need... 778 00:31:26,678 --> 00:31:27,762 - He's gonna want-- 779 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:29,973 - A little bit of tweaking. 780 00:31:30,015 --> 00:31:32,851 - What happens at read-through stays at read-through. 781 00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:35,687 You're free to, like, take a shot, 782 00:31:35,812 --> 00:31:37,814 and it was important because it meant people 783 00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:41,026 were willing to take chances. 784 00:31:41,109 --> 00:31:44,654 You always had that first wave of relief 785 00:31:44,696 --> 00:31:46,322 of, like, oh, OK, we came up with something. 786 00:31:46,364 --> 00:31:48,074 It was written up. 787 00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:50,201 But the fear of death at the table 788 00:31:50,243 --> 00:31:52,203 is really significant. 789 00:31:52,245 --> 00:31:53,621 - Where is Canteen Boy? 790 00:31:53,747 --> 00:31:56,124 - [chuckles] He's right over there. 791 00:31:56,166 --> 00:31:57,959 [laughter] 792 00:31:58,043 --> 00:32:01,171 - Downey looked out for me my whole time at the show. 793 00:32:01,254 --> 00:32:03,006 My stuff didn't do that great at read-through, 794 00:32:03,048 --> 00:32:05,592 and Jim always kind of said, I don't know, just-- 795 00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:08,845 that one, give--let Adam just give it a shot at that. 796 00:32:08,887 --> 00:32:10,305 - Let's go, scouts. 797 00:32:10,472 --> 00:32:12,557 - He mentioned Alec Baldwin being a scout leader 798 00:32:12,682 --> 00:32:15,435 and him wanting to be alone with the Canteen Boy. 799 00:32:15,518 --> 00:32:17,228 - I wanted to talk to you about something. 800 00:32:17,354 --> 00:32:20,148 I see you take a lot of ribbing from the other scouts. 801 00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:21,900 - Goes with the territory, Mr. Armstrong. 802 00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:22,817 Sticks and stones. 803 00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:23,818 [chuckles] 804 00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:25,570 - [laughs] 805 00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:27,155 Atta boy. 806 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,159 [laughter, groaning] 807 00:32:31,284 --> 00:32:32,327 - Jim gave me that one. 808 00:32:32,410 --> 00:32:33,870 That was a monster. 809 00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:36,289 That was, like, one of my biggest things that I ever had. 810 00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:38,458 - Took on another level with Downey, 811 00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:41,378 where it's like the performance is part of the concept. 812 00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:43,004 - It should be noted, when you have one line 813 00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:44,547 in a Jim Downey sketch, 814 00:32:44,631 --> 00:32:46,591 you are going to have a long conversation 815 00:32:46,675 --> 00:32:48,426 about exactly how he'd like you to say that line. 816 00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:49,969 - It was word for word. 817 00:32:50,053 --> 00:32:52,222 Like, he would take you through sentence by sentence. 818 00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:53,765 And that's not an exaggeration. 819 00:32:53,848 --> 00:32:55,100 - Blueprints that you want to build the house 820 00:32:55,183 --> 00:32:57,727 exactly to those plans. 821 00:32:57,811 --> 00:32:59,479 - Sometimes between dress and air, 822 00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:00,814 where you're like, oh, my God, Jim, 823 00:33:00,897 --> 00:33:02,065 we're gonna run out of time. 824 00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:03,566 How are we going to go over this 825 00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:05,360 beat by beat by beat? 826 00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:08,947 - But he also had such love for a cast 827 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:11,408 that could bring performance to his work. 828 00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:14,160 - The other cast members would be slightly pissed at you. 829 00:33:14,285 --> 00:33:18,081 Like, how the fuck did you get Downey on your side? 830 00:33:18,206 --> 00:33:20,250 - I think, uh, the initials, uh, 831 00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:24,921 JD on a sketch, that, I think, helped improve its odds. 832 00:33:24,963 --> 00:33:27,507 - He's picking the sketches, so if he's on your team, 833 00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:28,508 it's great. 834 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:34,097 - Now, this is Lorne's office, 835 00:33:34,139 --> 00:33:37,517 largely unchanged. 836 00:33:37,684 --> 00:33:40,979 The board has every sketch indicated by 837 00:33:41,021 --> 00:33:42,689 a little three-by-five card. 838 00:33:42,814 --> 00:33:44,190 I'd be in here with Lorne. 839 00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:46,484 There'd be a lot of--of people coming up to the board. 840 00:33:46,526 --> 00:33:50,697 Like, writers going, like, uh, are you fucking kidding me? 841 00:33:50,780 --> 00:33:52,741 We're doing "Elevator Ride"? 842 00:33:52,782 --> 00:33:53,825 Jesus. 843 00:33:53,908 --> 00:33:55,035 [jazzy music] 844 00:33:55,076 --> 00:33:57,954 We take what we do very seriously, 845 00:33:58,038 --> 00:34:01,166 but it is a lot easier when you're having a good time. 846 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:03,793 - Oh! 847 00:34:03,835 --> 00:34:04,711 - Nice one! 848 00:34:04,878 --> 00:34:05,795 - Oh! 849 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,547 - Oh, yeah! - Whoo! 850 00:34:07,672 --> 00:34:08,882 - Oh, my God! 851 00:34:09,049 --> 00:34:11,092 - Bob Odenkirk was writing at the show. 852 00:34:11,176 --> 00:34:13,636 We were sent these soft vinyl-- 853 00:34:13,678 --> 00:34:14,971 like a baseball. 854 00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:16,264 We're sitting there in rewrites, 855 00:34:16,306 --> 00:34:18,433 and Bob is, like, undoing the stitching. 856 00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:21,644 It took him all day and he finally unraveled the thing. 857 00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:23,813 It was very quickly discovered that if you threw 858 00:34:23,897 --> 00:34:26,399 this shit really hard at the wall, it would stick. 859 00:34:26,483 --> 00:34:30,278 And so Jack Handey and Odenkirk invented this game. 860 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,238 - Oh! 861 00:34:32,322 --> 00:34:34,282 - The idea was to hit the goo with the dart. 862 00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:35,992 - No, no, no. God, no. 863 00:34:36,076 --> 00:34:37,202 Jesus, Conan. 864 00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,703 - I'm sorry, I'm thinking of old goo rules. 865 00:34:38,787 --> 00:34:39,913 - Yes, old goo. 866 00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:41,623 You throw the darts in a pattern 867 00:34:41,706 --> 00:34:44,209 to deflect the goo... - Ah. 868 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:47,921 - So that--and you create either a shunt or a--a fence. 869 00:34:48,004 --> 00:34:49,631 There were different terms for the different 870 00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:50,590 types of barriers. 871 00:34:54,344 --> 00:34:55,845 - Oh! Sorry. 872 00:34:55,929 --> 00:34:56,930 - It's, like, 1:00 in the morning, 873 00:34:56,971 --> 00:34:58,181 and everyone's having a great time. 874 00:34:58,264 --> 00:34:59,557 And they pan around the room, 875 00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:00,475 and I'm just like this. 876 00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:01,893 - [laughs] 877 00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:03,978 - I'm just looking at my script and just... 878 00:35:04,020 --> 00:35:05,271 - Yes. 879 00:35:05,313 --> 00:35:07,607 The equivalent of the royal flush 880 00:35:07,691 --> 00:35:09,484 was to create what's called a cradle... 881 00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:11,152 [laughter] 882 00:35:11,194 --> 00:35:14,656 Where you'd create, like, a semicircular pattern 883 00:35:14,781 --> 00:35:17,534 of darts so the goo would roll into it and get trapped. 884 00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:19,411 - Yeah! 885 00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:23,373 - But you could also slow the goo down 886 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:25,792 and give another player time to cradle it. 887 00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:27,961 - You realize it's not a real sport? 888 00:35:28,086 --> 00:35:31,756 - Well, tell that to the American Goo Federation. 889 00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:35,093 - What I have found in comedy writing, 890 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:38,096 particularly, is that screwing around is 891 00:35:38,221 --> 00:35:41,474 80% of the job and somehow necessary. 892 00:35:41,558 --> 00:35:43,601 Years and years of my life have been spent in a writers' room 893 00:35:43,685 --> 00:35:46,354 with us howling, playing with some stupid prop in the room. 894 00:35:46,396 --> 00:35:47,605 - Yes. 895 00:35:47,647 --> 00:35:49,107 - And when you try and go home 896 00:35:49,232 --> 00:35:51,985 and explain it to your wife, it doesn't make any sense. 897 00:35:52,027 --> 00:35:54,404 But somehow, it's part of the process. 898 00:35:54,487 --> 00:35:57,449 - This exchange, which I will never forget... 899 00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:59,909 - [laughs] - From your audition. 900 00:35:59,993 --> 00:36:01,202 Surely this will be familiar. 901 00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:02,662 - Yes. - All right. 902 00:36:02,746 --> 00:36:04,539 - OK, so this is Scarface-- 903 00:36:04,622 --> 00:36:06,166 - And the Church-- - Church Lady. 904 00:36:06,207 --> 00:36:07,709 - Scarface and the Church Lady. 905 00:36:07,751 --> 00:36:09,044 - [as Scarface] Lady, let me tell you. 906 00:36:09,127 --> 00:36:10,420 Let me tell you, lady. 907 00:36:10,503 --> 00:36:12,589 You look like a big bowl of fuck. 908 00:36:12,630 --> 00:36:15,258 - [laughing] 909 00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,885 - [as Church Lady] Well, isn't that special? 910 00:36:17,010 --> 00:36:18,094 [normal voice] Perfect. 911 00:36:18,178 --> 00:36:19,220 That's, like, perfect comedy. 912 00:36:19,304 --> 00:36:20,555 [as Lorne] Uh, the show is over. 913 00:36:20,638 --> 00:36:22,098 We're canceling it in the middle. 914 00:36:22,182 --> 00:36:23,308 There'll be a TV movie of the week. 915 00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:24,392 It was... 916 00:36:24,434 --> 00:36:25,977 [laughter] 917 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:27,812 [jazzy music] 918 00:36:27,937 --> 00:36:30,482 - I am Uberman. I have superhuman powers. 919 00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:33,276 - Two wild and crazy guys! 920 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,821 - You need a good attorney in your corner. 921 00:36:36,905 --> 00:36:39,115 * * 922 00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,408 - This is impossible. 923 00:36:40,492 --> 00:36:42,160 Uh, can't we just hire them both? 924 00:36:42,202 --> 00:36:44,245 - No. We've been through this. 925 00:36:44,287 --> 00:36:46,039 We've only got the budget for one dancer. 926 00:36:46,122 --> 00:36:47,248 - Yeah, but they're both so great. 927 00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:49,125 I can't decide between them. 928 00:36:49,209 --> 00:36:51,628 - I always forget that he wrote "Chippendales," 929 00:36:51,670 --> 00:36:56,716 because that, to me, is one of my favorite of all time. 930 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,551 [laughter] 931 00:36:58,718 --> 00:37:01,805 [Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend"] 932 00:37:01,930 --> 00:37:04,140 * * 933 00:37:04,182 --> 00:37:05,975 - That premise came to me because of the host, 934 00:37:06,017 --> 00:37:07,727 because Swayze. 935 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:11,981 - * Will you come out tonight * 936 00:37:12,065 --> 00:37:15,402 * Everyone's trying to get it right * 937 00:37:15,485 --> 00:37:16,820 * Get it right * 938 00:37:16,903 --> 00:37:18,279 - "Chippendales," I was 10 feet away 939 00:37:18,321 --> 00:37:19,989 just watching it going, goddamn, this is good. 940 00:37:20,031 --> 00:37:21,282 And you don't know. 941 00:37:21,324 --> 00:37:22,117 They go, "Chippendales," and they go, 942 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,119 OK, next, uh, 30 seconds. 943 00:37:24,244 --> 00:37:26,371 And everyone just runs off, and you don't even think twice. 944 00:37:26,496 --> 00:37:27,956 You're just running to the next thing. 945 00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:30,709 You don't know, I just witnessed history. 946 00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:35,880 - * Everybody needs a second chance, oh * 947 00:37:35,964 --> 00:37:37,507 [jazzy music] 948 00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:40,677 - [growls] Fire bad! 949 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,054 [shouting, grunting] 950 00:37:43,138 --> 00:37:44,764 - You crazy bitch! 951 00:37:44,889 --> 00:37:46,016 I'll kill you! 952 00:37:46,099 --> 00:37:48,101 - You're not a man, you're a joke! 953 00:37:48,184 --> 00:37:50,311 - [screams] 954 00:37:50,395 --> 00:37:52,772 - It's almost unimaginable today 955 00:37:52,856 --> 00:37:54,733 to comprehend a private life 956 00:37:54,858 --> 00:37:56,776 as emotionally charged as the Lincolns'. 957 00:37:56,860 --> 00:37:58,695 - You're a sick woman, Mary! 958 00:37:58,737 --> 00:37:59,738 [cracking, rumbling] 959 00:37:59,779 --> 00:38:01,948 - ...the complexities 960 00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:03,450 of modern life and warfare. 961 00:38:03,575 --> 00:38:05,160 - I hate you! 962 00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:07,287 - It's amazing how much of the tension and struggle 963 00:38:07,328 --> 00:38:11,541 of that show just is somehow built-in. 964 00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:13,710 It was hard for me. 965 00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:16,713 I think it's hard for anybody over time to not go, 966 00:38:16,755 --> 00:38:19,883 if only I could have two more weeks to rehearse this, 967 00:38:20,008 --> 00:38:21,343 and maybe rewrite this stuff, 968 00:38:21,426 --> 00:38:24,095 and try to have a higher laugh ratio. 969 00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:28,641 I wonder what he thinks about the built-in degree 970 00:38:28,683 --> 00:38:32,479 of expectation falling short. 971 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,272 - I had been basically miserable 972 00:38:34,356 --> 00:38:36,316 my last couple years doing it. 973 00:38:36,358 --> 00:38:37,692 That was a time when I should have 974 00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:39,527 taken a year off on my own. 975 00:38:39,611 --> 00:38:43,865 And then I was fired as producer in-- 976 00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:47,619 at the end of the '94-'95 season. 977 00:38:47,702 --> 00:38:51,373 [tense music] 978 00:38:51,456 --> 00:38:53,208 - At a certain point, you've done enough work 979 00:38:53,291 --> 00:38:54,668 that you're competing with yourself, 980 00:38:54,709 --> 00:38:57,253 so it becomes harder and harder. 981 00:38:57,420 --> 00:38:59,422 And you want to stay fresh 982 00:38:59,547 --> 00:39:01,466 and you want to stay original, and-- 983 00:39:01,591 --> 00:39:03,134 and most of all, you want to stay funny. 984 00:39:03,176 --> 00:39:06,596 So that is just how it works. 985 00:39:06,638 --> 00:39:09,474 [projector whirring] 986 00:39:09,557 --> 00:39:12,310 * * 987 00:39:12,352 --> 00:39:14,479 - You know, I had a lot of-- 988 00:39:14,562 --> 00:39:17,440 I thought there were some productive years there. 989 00:39:17,565 --> 00:39:21,736 * * 990 00:39:21,861 --> 00:39:23,405 Norm, meanwhile, is calling me like, 991 00:39:23,446 --> 00:39:24,989 hey, hey, hey, Jim, we gotta do "Update," huh? 992 00:39:28,660 --> 00:39:31,204 [exciting music] 993 00:39:31,287 --> 00:39:34,249 - "Weekend Update" with Norm MacDonald. 994 00:39:34,332 --> 00:39:35,291 - Thank you. 995 00:39:35,375 --> 00:39:37,293 [cheers and applause] 996 00:39:37,377 --> 00:39:39,254 Thanks. 997 00:39:39,337 --> 00:39:40,797 Thank you. 998 00:39:40,922 --> 00:39:42,966 I'm Norm Macdonald, and this is the news. 999 00:39:43,091 --> 00:39:45,218 Real estate mogul Donald Trump announced this week 1000 00:39:45,301 --> 00:39:46,803 that after 3 1/2 years of marriage, 1001 00:39:46,928 --> 00:39:48,471 he is seeking a divorce 1002 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:50,098 from wife Marla Maples. 1003 00:39:50,223 --> 00:39:52,225 According to Trump, Maples violated part 1004 00:39:52,350 --> 00:39:53,476 of their marriage agreement 1005 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,729 when she decided to turn 30. 1006 00:39:55,770 --> 00:39:58,982 - Working with Norm was so fun. 1007 00:39:59,024 --> 00:40:01,943 That was a very happy period. 1008 00:40:02,027 --> 00:40:03,319 - And in music news, 1009 00:40:03,403 --> 00:40:05,613 number one on the college charts this summer 1010 00:40:05,697 --> 00:40:07,824 was Better Than Ezra. 1011 00:40:07,866 --> 00:40:12,495 And at number two, Ezra. 1012 00:40:12,579 --> 00:40:17,000 - Oh, my God, he just dared people to laugh. 1013 00:40:17,083 --> 00:40:19,044 Norm just couldn't care less. 1014 00:40:19,127 --> 00:40:23,089 - A French man who calls himself the Snake Man 1015 00:40:23,173 --> 00:40:25,258 was arrested this week after climbing up the side 1016 00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:27,510 of a Manhattan high-rise. 1017 00:40:27,635 --> 00:40:30,388 Yep, he climbed right up the side of a high-rise, 1018 00:40:30,513 --> 00:40:32,349 just like a snake. 1019 00:40:32,474 --> 00:40:33,725 [laughter] 1020 00:40:33,808 --> 00:40:35,727 - The rhythm of them was something that, 1021 00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:38,563 even today, hasn't been replicated. 1022 00:40:38,646 --> 00:40:41,358 - It was all in the writing and Norm's 1023 00:40:41,441 --> 00:40:44,319 committed dry performance, you know. 1024 00:40:44,402 --> 00:40:45,320 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1025 00:40:47,489 --> 00:40:50,658 - Note to self, uh, find new way 1026 00:40:50,784 --> 00:40:53,953 of fraudulently obtaining food stamps. 1027 00:40:54,037 --> 00:40:56,247 [laughter] 1028 00:40:56,331 --> 00:40:58,833 - We just believed in the jokes. 1029 00:40:58,917 --> 00:41:02,545 When Norm did those jokes, he couldn't be shaken. 1030 00:41:02,671 --> 00:41:07,384 - He has the most unique, one-of-a-kind kind delivery. 1031 00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:11,012 I can imagine how exciting that would be, 1032 00:41:11,054 --> 00:41:15,141 to have Norm Macdonald be the mouthpiece for your jokes. 1033 00:41:15,225 --> 00:41:17,310 - Clinton yesterday announced that, from now on, 1034 00:41:17,394 --> 00:41:19,104 the territory of Bosnia and Herzegovina 1035 00:41:19,187 --> 00:41:22,732 will be referred to as Vietnam. 1036 00:41:22,857 --> 00:41:25,443 - Of all the performers that I've ever worked with, 1037 00:41:25,568 --> 00:41:30,240 I actually had the most perfect simpatico with Norm. 1038 00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:32,575 - When you and Norm found each other, 1039 00:41:32,659 --> 00:41:36,496 it was like tuning forks that were perfectly matched. 1040 00:41:37,872 --> 00:41:40,583 - Norm and Jim, 1041 00:41:40,709 --> 00:41:43,169 that has to be Jim's favorite combination 1042 00:41:43,294 --> 00:41:45,380 in--in all of show business. 1043 00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:47,173 [laughter, applause] 1044 00:41:47,215 --> 00:41:49,217 - Can I tell my favorite Norm joke? 1045 00:41:49,342 --> 00:41:50,760 It was, the richest girl in the world 1046 00:41:50,844 --> 00:41:51,845 had her 10-year-old birthday. 1047 00:41:51,970 --> 00:41:54,347 - Millionaire Athina Onassis 1048 00:41:54,431 --> 00:41:56,641 celebrated her 10th birthday this week. 1049 00:41:56,725 --> 00:41:58,560 - What do you get for the richest girl in the world? 1050 00:41:58,643 --> 00:41:59,644 Well, here's an idea. 1051 00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:02,522 - At the party, they had two cakes. 1052 00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:03,523 [rim shot] 1053 00:42:03,606 --> 00:42:05,275 [laughter] 1054 00:42:05,316 --> 00:42:07,027 - And it's such a good joke. 1055 00:42:07,110 --> 00:42:10,113 It doesn't really play, but a truly great joke 1056 00:42:10,196 --> 00:42:13,241 is one that doesn't play 1057 00:42:13,324 --> 00:42:16,661 and that I remember for 30 years. 1058 00:42:16,745 --> 00:42:18,955 [light percussive music] 1059 00:42:19,039 --> 00:42:21,499 * * 1060 00:42:21,624 --> 00:42:25,211 - "Update" Norm is totally in sync with your values, 1061 00:42:25,295 --> 00:42:29,049 which is perfect word choice, perfect phrasing, 1062 00:42:29,090 --> 00:42:31,343 let's get the timing just right. 1063 00:42:31,426 --> 00:42:32,761 - When you're telling the joke, 1064 00:42:32,844 --> 00:42:34,846 it has to be a really good version of the joke. 1065 00:42:34,971 --> 00:42:38,099 All the important elements are done in the best possible way. 1066 00:42:38,141 --> 00:42:40,727 - The October issue of "Penthouse," now on newsstands, 1067 00:42:40,852 --> 00:42:42,812 contains a picture billed as, quote, 1068 00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:46,649 "the alien, the world's first authentic photograph." 1069 00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:49,903 - The original joke we started with was... 1070 00:42:49,986 --> 00:42:51,488 - A survey of "Penthouse" readers finds 1071 00:42:51,571 --> 00:42:54,032 that 60% think the photo is a fake, 1072 00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,534 while only 40% think it's real. 1073 00:42:56,576 --> 00:42:58,745 All 100%, however, found it, quote... 1074 00:42:58,787 --> 00:43:02,582 - Quote, "sharp, clear, and easy to masturbate to." 1075 00:43:02,707 --> 00:43:06,002 But we decided that it would be better-- 1076 00:43:06,044 --> 00:43:08,630 - All 100%, however, found it, 1077 00:43:08,672 --> 00:43:11,758 quote, "surprisingly easy to masturbate to." 1078 00:43:11,841 --> 00:43:14,511 [laughter] 1079 00:43:14,594 --> 00:43:16,137 - But then it became 1080 00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:18,348 "surprisingly easy to masturbate to." 1081 00:43:18,431 --> 00:43:20,934 Or, quote, "surprisingly easy." 1082 00:43:21,059 --> 00:43:24,771 - [laughs] Elevates it a little bit. 1083 00:43:24,854 --> 00:43:26,690 - But that's the kind of thing where 1084 00:43:26,815 --> 00:43:30,360 other people thought we were kind of insane. 1085 00:43:30,443 --> 00:43:32,487 - OJ Simpson is wanted. 1086 00:43:32,570 --> 00:43:34,572 He's been charged in the two murders 1087 00:43:34,614 --> 00:43:36,574 that took place Sunday night. 1088 00:43:36,658 --> 00:43:39,994 - A lot of people think they know the story of Norm, 1089 00:43:40,036 --> 00:43:42,497 "Update," OJ, NBC. 1090 00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:45,542 But I don't think, necessarily, they do. 1091 00:43:45,667 --> 00:43:48,628 - F. Lee Bailey said this week that if the defense only 1092 00:43:48,712 --> 00:43:51,297 knew what Ron Goldman's last words were, 1093 00:43:51,423 --> 00:43:53,508 they might be able to find the real killer. 1094 00:43:53,633 --> 00:43:55,927 You know, if you ask me, Goldman's last words 1095 00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:58,680 were probably, uh, hey, you're OJ Simpson! 1096 00:43:58,722 --> 00:44:01,641 [laughter, applause] 1097 00:44:03,309 --> 00:44:05,937 - The OJ murders happened-- still unsolved--uh... 1098 00:44:06,021 --> 00:44:07,605 - To this day. - To this day. 1099 00:44:07,689 --> 00:44:11,735 And you and Norm start doing jokes about 1100 00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:14,154 how it's quite clear that he is the murderer. 1101 00:44:14,237 --> 00:44:18,241 - Was OJ Simpson high on speed the night of the murders? 1102 00:44:18,366 --> 00:44:21,619 Absolutely not, said defense attorney Johnnie Cochran today. 1103 00:44:21,703 --> 00:44:24,539 And a simple test of any of OJ's blood 1104 00:44:24,664 --> 00:44:26,416 found at the crime scene will prove it. 1105 00:44:26,541 --> 00:44:27,834 [laughter] 1106 00:44:27,959 --> 00:44:29,753 - Hey, Norm, what's up? It's OJ. 1107 00:44:29,878 --> 00:44:31,338 - Oh, OJ! 1108 00:44:31,421 --> 00:44:33,673 OJ Simpson's new fitness video was released this week. 1109 00:44:33,798 --> 00:44:35,633 Oh, no! OJ has struck again. 1110 00:44:35,717 --> 00:44:37,302 How about that? 1111 00:44:37,385 --> 00:44:40,513 It was revealed this week, the defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran 1112 00:44:40,638 --> 00:44:42,932 once abused his first wife. 1113 00:44:42,974 --> 00:44:44,976 In his defense, Cochran said, 1114 00:44:45,060 --> 00:44:46,102 "Hey, at least I didn't kill her 1115 00:44:46,186 --> 00:44:49,564 like some people I know." 1116 00:44:49,689 --> 00:44:51,941 - That would make them exponentially funnier. 1117 00:44:52,025 --> 00:44:52,984 Just the sheer volume-- 1118 00:44:53,068 --> 00:44:54,694 - I felt that way. - Yeah. 1119 00:44:54,736 --> 00:44:57,405 - It was usually OJ thought he was making a great point, 1120 00:44:57,530 --> 00:45:00,033 but incriminating himself instead. 1121 00:45:00,075 --> 00:45:02,994 - In a brilliant move during closing arguments, 1122 00:45:03,078 --> 00:45:04,829 Simpson attorney Johnnie Cochran 1123 00:45:04,913 --> 00:45:08,375 put on the knit cap prosecutors say OJ wore the night 1124 00:45:08,416 --> 00:45:10,085 he committed the murders, 1125 00:45:10,168 --> 00:45:12,337 although OJ may have hurt his case when he suddenly 1126 00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:14,297 blurted out, hey, hey, easy with that! 1127 00:45:14,339 --> 00:45:16,383 That's my lucky stabbin' hat! 1128 00:45:16,424 --> 00:45:18,551 [laughter] 1129 00:45:18,677 --> 00:45:21,304 - What you come to realize is that the head of the network, 1130 00:45:21,429 --> 00:45:25,475 Don Ohlmeyer, who's best friends with OJ, 1131 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,185 doesn't like these jokes. 1132 00:45:27,268 --> 00:45:29,354 - I believe OJ did not do this. 1133 00:45:29,437 --> 00:45:30,730 I don't think the media in this town 1134 00:45:30,855 --> 00:45:33,274 believes that OJ did not do this. 1135 00:45:33,358 --> 00:45:35,860 They're trying to portray this like a football game. 1136 00:45:35,944 --> 00:45:38,655 - He didn't like Norm's comedy. 1137 00:45:38,738 --> 00:45:39,823 Jim was devoted to Norm. 1138 00:45:39,906 --> 00:45:42,033 I loved Norm as well. 1139 00:45:42,117 --> 00:45:44,494 It was all like his personal taste 1140 00:45:44,577 --> 00:45:47,288 should be the thing that decides things. 1141 00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:50,500 It wasn't the kind of comedy he was used to. 1142 00:45:50,625 --> 00:45:53,169 And also they were making a lot of jokes about OJ, 1143 00:45:53,253 --> 00:45:54,671 and that's when it started. 1144 00:45:54,754 --> 00:45:57,799 - In his book, OJ Simpson says that 1145 00:45:57,882 --> 00:46:00,468 he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train 1146 00:46:00,552 --> 00:46:02,012 for Nicole. 1147 00:46:02,137 --> 00:46:04,305 Man, I'm gonna tell you, that is some bad luck, 1148 00:46:04,347 --> 00:46:06,266 when the one guy who would have died for you 1149 00:46:06,349 --> 00:46:07,434 kills you. 1150 00:46:07,517 --> 00:46:08,685 [laughter] 1151 00:46:08,768 --> 00:46:10,061 - He was respectful. 1152 00:46:10,103 --> 00:46:12,022 And it was never a fuck-you attitude, 1153 00:46:12,105 --> 00:46:13,356 but he was just like, 1154 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,900 who's this guy gonna talk to me about 1155 00:46:15,984 --> 00:46:19,821 what's funny and not funny and what we're allowed to say? 1156 00:46:19,946 --> 00:46:22,115 - Like we were not gonna make jokes about OJ. 1157 00:46:22,198 --> 00:46:23,700 - There's a lot of people in this town, 1158 00:46:23,783 --> 00:46:25,201 when he's proved innocent, 1159 00:46:25,285 --> 00:46:26,453 who are going to look at you guys 1160 00:46:26,494 --> 00:46:27,829 and the stuff you put on the air 1161 00:46:27,912 --> 00:46:30,331 in a totally different way. 1162 00:46:30,415 --> 00:46:32,208 They're just not gonna believe you. 1163 00:46:32,292 --> 00:46:34,753 - They joked, and they just were like, oh, 1164 00:46:34,836 --> 00:46:36,338 you want us to lay off the OJ jokes? 1165 00:46:36,421 --> 00:46:38,673 Well, why don't we do more? 1166 00:46:38,757 --> 00:46:41,509 - Don Ohlmeyer said to me, they're not funny. 1167 00:46:41,593 --> 00:46:43,470 And I said, no, they're not funny to you, 1168 00:46:43,553 --> 00:46:46,056 but they are funny to the audience that, uh, 1169 00:46:46,097 --> 00:46:48,308 is watching the show. 1170 00:46:48,433 --> 00:46:51,269 - The idea that the head of the network 1171 00:46:51,311 --> 00:46:52,979 is supporting someone who clearly 1172 00:46:53,063 --> 00:46:56,066 is a murderer, and therefore insisting 1173 00:46:56,149 --> 00:46:59,652 on the firing of people based on their jokes 1174 00:46:59,736 --> 00:47:02,655 about the murder, is unheard of. 1175 00:47:02,739 --> 00:47:04,741 - We, the jury in the above entitled action, 1176 00:47:04,866 --> 00:47:07,035 find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, 1177 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:08,745 not guilty of the crime of murder. 1178 00:47:08,828 --> 00:47:10,997 - Now the fake news. 1179 00:47:11,122 --> 00:47:13,333 Well, it is finally official. 1180 00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:16,544 Murder is legal in the state of California. 1181 00:47:16,628 --> 00:47:19,547 [laughter, applause] 1182 00:47:23,551 --> 00:47:28,056 - Don, he was-- you gotta fire Norm and Jim. 1183 00:47:28,181 --> 00:47:31,685 And I obviously wasn't gonna consider that 1184 00:47:31,726 --> 00:47:32,852 till the season was over. 1185 00:47:32,977 --> 00:47:34,270 He just kept pounding on it. 1186 00:47:34,354 --> 00:47:36,356 I said, do not do this. 1187 00:47:36,439 --> 00:47:38,066 If you want to make this decision 1188 00:47:38,149 --> 00:47:40,026 at the end of the season, Norm, maybe he was ready 1189 00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,237 to leave anyway, and we'll decide then. 1190 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,905 But he overruled me. 1191 00:47:43,988 --> 00:47:46,282 It's, I think, the only time that anybody 1192 00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:47,909 actually overruled me. 1193 00:47:47,992 --> 00:47:50,620 And he kind of had the critics on his side. 1194 00:47:50,704 --> 00:47:53,498 And so, uh, he did it. 1195 00:47:53,581 --> 00:47:55,583 It was a disaster. 1196 00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:58,128 It tore us apart. 1197 00:47:58,211 --> 00:48:00,130 - The phone rings, and it's Michael Shoemaker 1198 00:48:00,213 --> 00:48:01,756 saying, a couple things. 1199 00:48:01,881 --> 00:48:04,259 Chris Farley is dead, and you and Norm are fired. 1200 00:48:04,384 --> 00:48:06,636 [laughs] 1201 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:09,556 Norm was really devastated. 1202 00:48:09,639 --> 00:48:12,976 My attitude was, hey, we got three and a half 1203 00:48:13,018 --> 00:48:14,352 fun seasons out of it. 1204 00:48:14,394 --> 00:48:17,647 And, like, I'll take a year off, you know? 1205 00:48:17,772 --> 00:48:20,358 - This guy Don Ohlmeyer, he goes, uh, oh, yeah, 1206 00:48:20,442 --> 00:48:22,944 I'm, uh--I'm firing you there from the show. 1207 00:48:23,028 --> 00:48:26,322 And then I said, uh, oh, that's not good. 1208 00:48:26,406 --> 00:48:27,532 You know. 1209 00:48:27,615 --> 00:48:29,367 And then I said, why is that now? 1210 00:48:29,451 --> 00:48:30,952 And he goes, uh, oh, you're not-- 1211 00:48:31,077 --> 00:48:32,203 you know, you're not funny. - Yeah. 1212 00:48:32,287 --> 00:48:33,997 - And then I said, uh-- 1213 00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:37,250 I said, holy lord, that's even worse news, you know? 1214 00:48:37,334 --> 00:48:40,003 [laughter] 1215 00:48:40,128 --> 00:48:42,422 - When Norm passed away, just about everybody 1216 00:48:42,505 --> 00:48:44,132 did not know that he was that sick. 1217 00:48:44,215 --> 00:48:45,759 People went back and they started looking at 1218 00:48:45,884 --> 00:48:48,803 these mash-ups, his best "Update" jokes, 1219 00:48:48,887 --> 00:48:53,058 and you just saw this barrage of really great, 1220 00:48:53,099 --> 00:48:57,270 fantastic, timeless jokes delivered perfectly. 1221 00:48:57,395 --> 00:48:59,939 And it was just a great tribute to what 1222 00:49:00,023 --> 00:49:02,442 you two guys made together. 1223 00:49:02,567 --> 00:49:03,985 - That's all for now, folks. Good night. 1224 00:49:04,069 --> 00:49:05,028 Thanks a lot. 1225 00:49:05,111 --> 00:49:06,363 Enjoy. 1226 00:49:06,404 --> 00:49:09,282 [cheers and applause] 1227 00:49:15,288 --> 00:49:16,790 - It takes a special person 1228 00:49:16,956 --> 00:49:18,541 to be able to write something, 1229 00:49:18,625 --> 00:49:20,085 spend so much time doing it, 1230 00:49:20,168 --> 00:49:21,336 and then give it to somebody else, 1231 00:49:21,419 --> 00:49:24,089 and just not have that sad desire 1232 00:49:24,172 --> 00:49:26,341 to need to get the laugh yourself. 1233 00:49:26,424 --> 00:49:28,009 - I thought Jim was an actor 1234 00:49:28,051 --> 00:49:29,511 because I'd seen him on "Letterman." 1235 00:49:29,594 --> 00:49:31,471 - When you know Jim's face, 1236 00:49:31,596 --> 00:49:33,556 then you see him in all those little things 1237 00:49:33,682 --> 00:49:34,557 over the years. 1238 00:49:34,683 --> 00:49:36,226 [jazzy music] 1239 00:49:36,267 --> 00:49:37,852 - Hi, I'm Craig. 1240 00:49:37,936 --> 00:49:40,230 I'm thinking of taking a vacation in Jurassic Park. 1241 00:49:40,313 --> 00:49:41,439 I'm gonna go through it once more. 1242 00:49:41,481 --> 00:49:43,191 I'm not the sort of person 1243 00:49:43,358 --> 00:49:46,194 who starts a job and walks away from it. 1244 00:49:46,236 --> 00:49:48,196 - Much has been said about Jeffrey Epstein. 1245 00:49:48,279 --> 00:49:49,197 Terrible things have been-- 1246 00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,490 - No, Jeff-- 1247 00:49:50,532 --> 00:49:51,574 I'm talking about Jeff Epstein, 1248 00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:52,992 the New York financier. 1249 00:49:53,076 --> 00:49:54,536 [laughter] 1250 00:49:54,577 --> 00:49:56,204 - Yes! 1251 00:49:56,329 --> 00:49:57,414 We're talking about the same Jeff Epstein. 1252 00:49:57,539 --> 00:49:58,415 - No. - Yes! 1253 00:49:58,498 --> 00:49:59,416 - No. 1254 00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:00,458 - Yes! 1255 00:50:00,583 --> 00:50:02,210 - Andy, I've been dating your dad. 1256 00:50:02,293 --> 00:50:04,295 - Like, my dad, dad? 1257 00:50:04,379 --> 00:50:06,131 - It's gotten extraordinarily physical. 1258 00:50:06,297 --> 00:50:09,050 [cheers and applause] 1259 00:50:09,175 --> 00:50:11,052 - Downey commits a thousand percent, 1260 00:50:11,219 --> 00:50:14,097 and they really do go at it. - Yeah. 1261 00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:16,599 [cheers and applause] 1262 00:50:16,641 --> 00:50:19,519 - If it were up to me, we'd be putting up drywall 1263 00:50:19,686 --> 00:50:21,479 on your vagina building today. 1264 00:50:21,563 --> 00:50:22,731 - Well, I appreciate that, Jim. 1265 00:50:22,856 --> 00:50:23,648 I really do. - But in the current climate-- 1266 00:50:23,815 --> 00:50:25,608 - Downey's so present. 1267 00:50:25,692 --> 00:50:26,901 In "Billy Madison," 1268 00:50:26,943 --> 00:50:28,653 I recognized him from "Change Bank." 1269 00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:31,114 - We wanted Jim to be the principal 1270 00:50:31,197 --> 00:50:34,784 and called him up, and he said, yeah, yeah, what about this? 1271 00:50:34,826 --> 00:50:38,079 And he wrote the most quoted thing from that movie. 1272 00:50:38,246 --> 00:50:41,916 - Mr. Madison, what you've just said 1273 00:50:41,958 --> 00:50:44,210 is one of the most insanely idiotic things 1274 00:50:44,294 --> 00:50:46,129 I have ever heard. 1275 00:50:46,171 --> 00:50:50,675 At no point in your rambling, incoherent response 1276 00:50:50,759 --> 00:50:53,720 were you even close to anything that could be 1277 00:50:53,845 --> 00:50:56,014 considered a rational thought. 1278 00:50:56,097 --> 00:50:59,017 Everyone in this room is now dumber 1279 00:50:59,142 --> 00:51:01,019 for having listened to it. 1280 00:51:01,061 --> 00:51:02,228 I award you no points... 1281 00:51:02,312 --> 00:51:03,772 - [laughs] 1282 00:51:03,813 --> 00:51:05,940 - And may God have mercy on your soul. 1283 00:51:06,024 --> 00:51:07,192 - Yeah, man. 1284 00:51:07,275 --> 00:51:09,152 I mean, I think Downey said that 1285 00:51:09,235 --> 00:51:11,821 to me and Farley several times in real life. 1286 00:51:11,863 --> 00:51:12,864 [funky music] 1287 00:51:12,989 --> 00:51:14,616 - You also were in 1288 00:51:14,657 --> 00:51:16,701 a Paul Thomas Anderson movie as well. 1289 00:51:16,743 --> 00:51:18,453 People forget about that. 1290 00:51:18,536 --> 00:51:20,705 - He just had this notion that I was 1291 00:51:20,789 --> 00:51:22,040 the perfect guy to play that part. 1292 00:51:22,123 --> 00:51:23,833 So I go, oh, OK. 1293 00:51:23,875 --> 00:51:25,502 - "There Will Be Blood" is one of my favorite movies 1294 00:51:25,585 --> 00:51:27,962 of that decade, and Jim was in it. 1295 00:51:28,088 --> 00:51:31,174 - Can everything around here be got? 1296 00:51:31,299 --> 00:51:32,592 - Sure. 1297 00:51:32,676 --> 00:51:34,469 - He really is, as a sketch performer, 1298 00:51:34,552 --> 00:51:36,012 a really good actor. 1299 00:51:36,179 --> 00:51:39,474 - We will take our clients' money and invest it. 1300 00:51:39,641 --> 00:51:41,768 Part of the profit, we'll keep for ourselves. 1301 00:51:41,810 --> 00:51:45,063 The rest, we will give to the client. 1302 00:51:45,105 --> 00:51:47,440 We will make a list of our clients 1303 00:51:47,524 --> 00:51:50,610 and how much money each of them has given us to invest. 1304 00:51:50,652 --> 00:51:53,697 We will keep this list in a safe place. 1305 00:51:53,863 --> 00:51:57,158 If we have time, we will make a copy of the list 1306 00:51:57,283 --> 00:52:00,495 in case something happens to the first list. 1307 00:52:01,788 --> 00:52:04,124 - At "Saturday Night Live," 1308 00:52:04,249 --> 00:52:06,793 the writers have a lot of power. 1309 00:52:06,835 --> 00:52:08,253 - I want a piece of you, Potter! 1310 00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:10,046 Why, I oughta pound you! 1311 00:52:10,171 --> 00:52:12,215 [shouting] 1312 00:52:12,298 --> 00:52:15,844 - The shape of the kind of things that you do at "SNL," 1313 00:52:15,885 --> 00:52:17,846 the degree of control you can have... 1314 00:52:17,929 --> 00:52:20,098 - Is there a particular moment when you said to yourself, 1315 00:52:20,181 --> 00:52:23,518 it's just-- it's just not my night? 1316 00:52:23,601 --> 00:52:27,147 - Probably when the mountain lion urinated on me. 1317 00:52:27,230 --> 00:52:30,734 - I know I would never find anywhere else. 1318 00:52:30,775 --> 00:52:32,569 [jazzy music] 1319 00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:34,738 I'd been away from the show for a couple years, 1320 00:52:34,821 --> 00:52:38,074 and then Don Ohlmeyer left the network. 1321 00:52:38,241 --> 00:52:40,493 It seemed like a few minutes after he left, 1322 00:52:40,535 --> 00:52:41,536 Lorne's like, he's gone, right? 1323 00:52:41,661 --> 00:52:42,787 It's official? 1324 00:52:42,871 --> 00:52:44,539 Then he called me and said, hey, 1325 00:52:44,664 --> 00:52:46,332 I'd like you to come back to the show. 1326 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:48,251 I remembered my friends telling me, 1327 00:52:48,293 --> 00:52:50,295 if you go back to the show after being fired twice, 1328 00:52:50,378 --> 00:52:51,921 we'll lose all respect for you. 1329 00:52:52,005 --> 00:52:53,381 - I did not say that. 1330 00:52:53,548 --> 00:52:55,508 - Lawrence did not say that. - Yeah. 1331 00:52:55,550 --> 00:52:56,968 - Lorne made it very clear that 1332 00:52:57,052 --> 00:52:59,304 he wanted me to be a specialist. 1333 00:52:59,387 --> 00:53:00,889 - Good evening. 1334 00:53:00,930 --> 00:53:03,767 This is the CBS Evening Anthrax Update, 1335 00:53:03,850 --> 00:53:05,477 Dan Rather reporting. 1336 00:53:05,518 --> 00:53:07,520 All right, this just in. 1337 00:53:07,604 --> 00:53:13,568 CBS News now confirming that I have anthrax. 1338 00:53:13,651 --> 00:53:17,280 Now, to sum up where we stand at the moment, 1339 00:53:17,405 --> 00:53:19,074 Rather, anthrax. 1340 00:53:19,240 --> 00:53:22,619 Blitzer, anthrax, attacked by a squirrel. 1341 00:53:22,702 --> 00:53:25,330 - Politics wasn't always considered, 1342 00:53:25,372 --> 00:53:26,498 like, a hot property. 1343 00:53:26,539 --> 00:53:28,041 - Where have you been? 1344 00:53:28,124 --> 00:53:29,084 - Certainly not in the early years. 1345 00:53:29,209 --> 00:53:30,126 - Ah, guten Tag. 1346 00:53:30,251 --> 00:53:32,170 [speaking German] 1347 00:53:32,253 --> 00:53:34,381 - Each decade sort of kicked up 1348 00:53:34,464 --> 00:53:36,841 to where more and more people were actually 1349 00:53:36,925 --> 00:53:39,219 interested in political comedy. 1350 00:53:39,302 --> 00:53:41,513 - I don't run around saying, Bob Dole does this 1351 00:53:41,554 --> 00:53:43,598 and Bob Dole does that. 1352 00:53:43,723 --> 00:53:46,309 That's not something Bob Dole does. 1353 00:53:46,434 --> 00:53:47,519 - Jim was like the king 1354 00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:48,478 in the cold open world. 1355 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,813 - Stay on the track. 1356 00:53:49,854 --> 00:53:51,314 Stay the course. 1357 00:53:51,398 --> 00:53:52,649 Thousand points of light. 1358 00:53:52,774 --> 00:53:54,025 [laughter] 1359 00:53:54,067 --> 00:53:55,902 - Governor Dukakis, rebuttal? 1360 00:53:55,985 --> 00:53:57,904 - I can't believe I'm losing to this guy. 1361 00:53:57,987 --> 00:53:59,948 [laughter] 1362 00:53:59,989 --> 00:54:02,283 - Jim prided himself on that he was 1363 00:54:02,367 --> 00:54:05,453 an impartial, uh, satirist. 1364 00:54:05,495 --> 00:54:08,206 - We did not feel it was our job to have 1365 00:54:08,248 --> 00:54:09,374 a political point of view. 1366 00:54:09,541 --> 00:54:10,792 - There's no one I like. 1367 00:54:10,959 --> 00:54:13,169 I'm looking to make fun of anything 1368 00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:14,629 that comes down the pike. 1369 00:54:14,754 --> 00:54:16,798 - This film, "Independence Day," 1370 00:54:16,881 --> 00:54:19,426 tells the story of a young, idealistic, 1371 00:54:19,509 --> 00:54:22,721 compassionate president who's facing a crisis. 1372 00:54:22,804 --> 00:54:25,181 Frustrated in his personal life 1373 00:54:25,306 --> 00:54:28,268 and unable to realize his vision for the country 1374 00:54:28,351 --> 00:54:30,979 due to a hostile Congress. 1375 00:54:31,146 --> 00:54:33,940 But suddenly, everything turns around 1376 00:54:33,982 --> 00:54:37,068 and he's able to achieve true greatness 1377 00:54:37,110 --> 00:54:38,820 when aliens invade Earth 1378 00:54:38,987 --> 00:54:41,781 and a helicopter crash kills his wife. 1379 00:54:41,865 --> 00:54:44,242 I love this movie. 1380 00:54:44,325 --> 00:54:45,702 - He kept me honest sometimes. 1381 00:54:45,744 --> 00:54:47,912 Sometimes I'd have an idea that was a little 1382 00:54:47,954 --> 00:54:51,082 too undermined by sort of 1383 00:54:51,124 --> 00:54:52,667 how partisan it was or something. 1384 00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:55,378 - I want to be around for a long time, 1385 00:54:55,545 --> 00:54:56,671 on the job, 1386 00:54:56,755 --> 00:54:58,381 making the tough decisions, 1387 00:54:58,465 --> 00:55:00,258 24/7. 1388 00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:02,302 That's 24 hours a week... 1389 00:55:02,385 --> 00:55:05,347 [laughter] 1390 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,311 Seven months a year. 1391 00:55:11,353 --> 00:55:13,188 - In the first five years of the show, 1392 00:55:13,229 --> 00:55:15,148 I bet we opened with a political piece 1393 00:55:15,190 --> 00:55:17,150 maybe two or three times a year. 1394 00:55:17,192 --> 00:55:19,903 - It became more urgent in 2000. 1395 00:55:20,070 --> 00:55:24,991 These campaigns were vulnerable to the swing voter. 1396 00:55:25,116 --> 00:55:27,452 They were trying to get their hands on, 1397 00:55:27,494 --> 00:55:28,620 who is this guy, Gore? 1398 00:55:28,661 --> 00:55:30,038 Who is this guy, Bush? 1399 00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,041 [applause] 1400 00:55:34,709 --> 00:55:37,921 Those performances, and what you gave the actors 1401 00:55:38,004 --> 00:55:40,048 to do with those characters, 1402 00:55:40,131 --> 00:55:43,510 gave people a handle on those characters 1403 00:55:43,593 --> 00:55:46,513 that they didn't have before that night. 1404 00:55:46,596 --> 00:55:49,349 - I remember looking at the script, 1405 00:55:49,391 --> 00:55:54,020 and I said, is that as good as I think it is? 1406 00:55:54,104 --> 00:55:56,064 - Governor Bush, you said the following. 1407 00:55:56,106 --> 00:55:58,775 Quote, "More seldom than not, the movies 1408 00:55:58,942 --> 00:56:01,611 "gives us exquisite sex and wholesome violence 1409 00:56:01,695 --> 00:56:03,488 "that underscores our values. 1410 00:56:03,655 --> 00:56:05,281 "Every two child did. 1411 00:56:05,365 --> 00:56:06,366 I will." 1412 00:56:06,449 --> 00:56:07,575 End quote. 1413 00:56:07,617 --> 00:56:09,202 [laughter] 1414 00:56:09,285 --> 00:56:10,870 What did you mean by that? 1415 00:56:10,954 --> 00:56:13,123 [laughter] 1416 00:56:13,248 --> 00:56:15,625 - [clears throat] Pass. 1417 00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:17,794 [laughter, applause] 1418 00:56:17,836 --> 00:56:21,881 - I'm just silently just screaming with joy in my head, 1419 00:56:22,007 --> 00:56:25,176 oh, my God, he's-- he's literally 1420 00:56:25,218 --> 00:56:28,805 schooling the entire show on how to write political comedy. 1421 00:56:28,930 --> 00:56:31,641 - Now, under my plan, Etta's prescription drugs 1422 00:56:31,766 --> 00:56:33,143 would be covered. 1423 00:56:33,268 --> 00:56:35,437 Under my opponent's plan, 1424 00:56:35,478 --> 00:56:38,189 her house would be burned to the ground, 1425 00:56:38,314 --> 00:56:40,191 and that is wrong. 1426 00:56:40,233 --> 00:56:42,902 - I believe that some of his figures may be "in-ack-urate." 1427 00:56:42,986 --> 00:56:46,239 [laughter] 1428 00:56:46,281 --> 00:56:48,491 - We are almost out of time, so I will instead 1429 00:56:48,616 --> 00:56:51,536 ask each candidate to sum up in a single word 1430 00:56:51,578 --> 00:56:53,788 the best argument for his candidacy. 1431 00:56:53,913 --> 00:56:55,832 Governor Bush? 1432 00:56:55,874 --> 00:56:57,417 - Strategery. 1433 00:56:57,500 --> 00:56:58,793 [laughter] 1434 00:56:58,918 --> 00:57:02,213 - The whole country was saying strategery. 1435 00:57:02,255 --> 00:57:04,215 - The word strategery. 1436 00:57:04,299 --> 00:57:06,051 - It's become part of the lexicon. 1437 00:57:06,092 --> 00:57:08,970 - As "The New York Times" put it, the national consciousness. 1438 00:57:09,054 --> 00:57:10,263 - You know, I've always been 1439 00:57:10,305 --> 00:57:11,431 a big fan of "Saturday Night Live." 1440 00:57:11,556 --> 00:57:13,266 - Clearly, the candidates have taken 1441 00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:15,643 their appearances on the late-night show seriously. 1442 00:57:15,769 --> 00:57:17,145 - Although I'm a big fan, I have seen 1443 00:57:17,228 --> 00:57:18,396 some things on the show I thought were, 1444 00:57:18,563 --> 00:57:20,398 in a word, offensible. 1445 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:25,528 - The most important political writing of this election year. 1446 00:57:25,653 --> 00:57:27,364 - Jim, your reaction? 1447 00:57:27,447 --> 00:57:29,949 - Well, I'd like to hear more from Lawrence in that vein. 1448 00:57:30,116 --> 00:57:31,910 I thought he was on to something. 1449 00:57:32,035 --> 00:57:34,496 - And the thing you have to know about the undecided voter 1450 00:57:34,621 --> 00:57:37,749 is that they don't consume any information 1451 00:57:37,832 --> 00:57:39,334 from the political media. 1452 00:57:39,459 --> 00:57:40,460 - If they had, they wouldn't be undecided-- 1453 00:57:40,585 --> 00:57:42,420 - They do catch things like this. 1454 00:57:42,462 --> 00:57:45,423 - We are America's undecided voters. 1455 00:57:45,465 --> 00:57:47,217 Before you get our vote, 1456 00:57:47,342 --> 00:57:49,886 you're gonna have to answer some questions. 1457 00:57:50,011 --> 00:57:51,554 - When is the election? 1458 00:57:51,638 --> 00:57:53,723 How soon do we have to decide? 1459 00:57:53,890 --> 00:57:56,685 - What are the names of the two people running? 1460 00:57:56,768 --> 00:57:58,812 And be specific. 1461 00:57:58,937 --> 00:58:01,106 - Who is the president right now? 1462 00:58:01,147 --> 00:58:03,108 Is he or she running? 1463 00:58:03,191 --> 00:58:05,235 - What happens if the president dies? 1464 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,696 Has anyone thought about who would replace him? 1465 00:58:07,779 --> 00:58:09,989 What's your plan, gentlemen? 1466 00:58:10,115 --> 00:58:13,493 - Somehow, that set this pattern, 1467 00:58:13,618 --> 00:58:15,120 so that, ever since then, 1468 00:58:15,203 --> 00:58:16,663 whenever there's an election year, 1469 00:58:16,746 --> 00:58:18,998 there's this sort of expectation-- 1470 00:58:19,082 --> 00:58:21,167 well, we have to have debate pieces. 1471 00:58:21,209 --> 00:58:23,003 - So don't be telling me that I'm part 1472 00:58:23,044 --> 00:58:24,796 of the Washington elite because I come from 1473 00:58:24,879 --> 00:58:28,633 the absolute worst place on Earth, 1474 00:58:28,675 --> 00:58:31,011 Scranton, Pennsylvania. 1475 00:58:31,094 --> 00:58:34,597 And Wilmington, Delaware's not much better. 1476 00:58:34,639 --> 00:58:35,890 - Governor Palin. 1477 00:58:36,016 --> 00:58:38,143 - Oh, are we not doing the talent portion? 1478 00:58:38,309 --> 00:58:40,395 [laughter, applause] 1479 00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:43,231 - And it was becoming this gigantic part. 1480 00:58:43,273 --> 00:58:45,650 - We'll work on you. It's gonna take time. 1481 00:58:45,734 --> 00:58:47,944 [chuckles] Maybe for four more years. 1482 00:58:47,986 --> 00:58:52,824 - Our politics has never calmed down since 2000. 1483 00:58:52,991 --> 00:58:57,495 "SNL" became absolutely mandatory in American politics 1484 00:58:57,662 --> 00:58:59,706 and is to this day. 1485 00:58:59,873 --> 00:59:02,083 [microphone feedback, applause] 1486 00:59:06,254 --> 00:59:09,007 [jazzy music] 1487 00:59:09,090 --> 00:59:11,801 - Your Honor, I'd like to say something if I could, please. 1488 00:59:11,843 --> 00:59:14,012 - Excuse me, are you a relative of the plaintiff? 1489 00:59:14,095 --> 00:59:15,347 - I am her mother. 1490 00:59:15,472 --> 00:59:17,807 [laughter] 1491 00:59:17,891 --> 00:59:19,142 - And what is your occupation? 1492 00:59:19,184 --> 00:59:21,061 - I am a barfly. 1493 00:59:21,144 --> 00:59:22,312 [laughter] 1494 00:59:22,354 --> 00:59:23,355 - I'm a barfly. 1495 00:59:23,438 --> 00:59:26,066 - I am a barfly. - I am a barfly. 1496 00:59:26,191 --> 00:59:28,485 - And by that you mean you loiter in bars 1497 00:59:28,526 --> 00:59:31,029 waiting for men you don't know to buy you drinks? 1498 00:59:31,071 --> 00:59:32,280 - That is correct, Your Honor. 1499 00:59:32,322 --> 00:59:33,656 [laughter] 1500 00:59:33,740 --> 00:59:35,992 - Just hours ago, it was made apparent to me 1501 00:59:36,034 --> 00:59:39,746 that I am not, as I have long believed myself to be, 1502 00:59:39,871 --> 00:59:42,207 a licensed bikini inspector. 1503 00:59:42,332 --> 00:59:44,834 [laughter] 1504 00:59:44,918 --> 00:59:47,170 As experts have shown, 1505 00:59:47,253 --> 00:59:49,506 the official bikini inspector license 1506 00:59:49,631 --> 00:59:52,550 upon which I base this assertion is a forgery. 1507 00:59:52,634 --> 00:59:56,429 And indeed, no such medical specialty exists. 1508 00:59:56,513 --> 00:59:58,264 To the hundreds and hundreds of women 1509 00:59:58,348 --> 01:00:01,685 I may have wronged, albeit with the best of intentions, 1510 01:00:01,810 --> 01:00:04,688 I can now only offer my most sincere 1511 01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:06,981 and heartfelt apologies. 1512 01:00:07,107 --> 01:00:08,525 - This is a sidewalk costume. 1513 01:00:08,608 --> 01:00:10,068 - A sidewalk costume? 1514 01:00:10,151 --> 01:00:11,319 - Yeah. I mean, you know, 1515 01:00:11,361 --> 01:00:13,571 we don't recommend it for blind kids. 1516 01:00:13,655 --> 01:00:15,281 I mean, you know, there's a warning right on the label. 1517 01:00:15,448 --> 01:00:17,659 "Invisible Pedestrian, not for blind kids." 1518 01:00:17,701 --> 01:00:18,952 [laughter] 1519 01:00:18,993 --> 01:00:20,328 - Did Bob Dole grow up in Canada 1520 01:00:20,412 --> 01:00:22,247 in a small farm town? 1521 01:00:22,330 --> 01:00:24,457 Didn't have the prep school education 1522 01:00:24,541 --> 01:00:26,626 or the sterling silverware, 1523 01:00:26,668 --> 01:00:28,878 or the bumper pool table in the basement. 1524 01:00:28,962 --> 01:00:31,006 Didn't have the shower massage, 1525 01:00:31,131 --> 01:00:32,966 the five-way adjustable head. 1526 01:00:33,133 --> 01:00:35,552 - The deficit, like many of our problems, 1527 01:00:35,635 --> 01:00:37,679 will ultimately be solved if we can legalize 1528 01:00:37,762 --> 01:00:40,015 and federally fund female circumcisions. 1529 01:00:40,098 --> 01:00:43,351 - Larry, please, let's hit the fast-forward button, 1530 01:00:43,435 --> 01:00:46,229 because we've heard this before. 1531 01:00:46,312 --> 01:00:48,773 See, now, folks, we'd all like better schools, 1532 01:00:48,857 --> 01:00:51,693 less crime, and female circumcision, right? 1533 01:00:51,776 --> 01:00:53,403 There's nothing better in the world 1534 01:00:53,528 --> 01:00:55,739 than female circumcision. 1535 01:00:55,864 --> 01:00:58,908 But where is the money gonna come from? 1536 01:00:58,992 --> 01:01:00,660 - I think you'll really like Stu. 1537 01:01:00,702 --> 01:01:02,412 He's absolutely the most sincere, 1538 01:01:02,454 --> 01:01:05,040 genuine, straightforward person you'll ever want to meet. 1539 01:01:05,123 --> 01:01:06,875 A real honest guy. - Mm. 1540 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,710 - What a jerk he is. 1541 01:01:08,793 --> 01:01:10,754 - Listen, we'll-- we'll talk quietly 1542 01:01:10,837 --> 01:01:12,339 so as not to disturb you, OK? 1543 01:01:12,422 --> 01:01:13,548 - Oh, you won't disturb me. 1544 01:01:13,631 --> 01:01:15,133 I'll be in my room masturbating. 1545 01:01:15,216 --> 01:01:16,217 They won't disturb me. 1546 01:01:16,343 --> 01:01:17,844 I'll be masturbating. 1547 01:01:17,969 --> 01:01:20,305 - Live long... 1548 01:01:20,430 --> 01:01:22,682 [laughter] 1549 01:01:22,807 --> 01:01:24,017 And be happy. 1550 01:01:24,142 --> 01:01:27,187 [laughter, applause] 1551 01:01:27,228 --> 01:01:31,316 - This guy here is the best writer 1552 01:01:31,399 --> 01:01:33,943 that I ever worked with at "Saturday Night Live." 1553 01:01:33,985 --> 01:01:35,320 He's my friend. 1554 01:01:35,403 --> 01:01:38,073 And if anybody messes with him, 1555 01:01:38,198 --> 01:01:39,783 they're messing with me. 1556 01:01:39,824 --> 01:01:42,160 And they're messing, um, with the local union here, 1557 01:01:42,285 --> 01:01:44,704 which I have, uh, talked to about anything 1558 01:01:44,746 --> 01:01:46,373 that might happen here tonight. 1559 01:01:46,456 --> 01:01:49,292 [cacophonous piano melody] 1560 01:01:49,376 --> 01:01:52,462 * * 1561 01:01:52,545 --> 01:01:55,924 * Jaws * 1562 01:01:56,049 --> 01:01:58,843 - * Jaws, get away from me * 1563 01:01:58,927 --> 01:02:00,970 - * Get away from me * 1564 01:02:01,054 --> 01:02:04,516 * Jaws * 1565 01:02:04,599 --> 01:02:07,185 - They had been fooling around with this "Jaws" theme 1566 01:02:07,310 --> 01:02:09,187 since, like, 19-- since the movie came out. 1567 01:02:09,270 --> 01:02:11,731 - It was just their running bit, you know, for years. 1568 01:02:11,773 --> 01:02:14,693 - * You took and you made me * 1569 01:02:14,818 --> 01:02:16,736 * You made me * 1570 01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:20,407 * Made me part of you * 1571 01:02:20,448 --> 01:02:22,909 - * Made me a part of you * 1572 01:02:22,992 --> 01:02:25,620 - I remember Maya in my hotel room, 1573 01:02:25,704 --> 01:02:27,914 and Downey on the phone singing that, 1574 01:02:28,081 --> 01:02:30,333 and you and I are both frantically writing. 1575 01:02:30,417 --> 01:02:31,751 And I'm up in the music thing 1576 01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,169 with Paul Shaffer. 1577 01:02:33,294 --> 01:02:34,754 I think Bill's gonna come. We don't know. 1578 01:02:34,796 --> 01:02:37,007 And then here comes Bill in a-- 1579 01:02:37,090 --> 01:02:39,259 literally in a Hawaiian shirt or whatever. 1580 01:02:39,342 --> 01:02:41,011 And then we were on--on TV. 1581 01:02:41,052 --> 01:02:43,179 - By the way, we seem like we're playing it cool. 1582 01:02:43,221 --> 01:02:45,974 But, like, these are the guys we had boners for. 1583 01:02:46,099 --> 01:02:50,979 - * You bastard, Jaws! * 1584 01:02:51,062 --> 01:02:54,315 [cheers and applause] 1585 01:02:54,357 --> 01:02:56,568 - I have to believe it's some kind of record 1586 01:02:56,651 --> 01:03:01,114 for the longest time between the original idea 1587 01:03:01,197 --> 01:03:03,658 and the execution, 1588 01:03:03,742 --> 01:03:07,537 which would be 40 years, just about. 1589 01:03:07,620 --> 01:03:09,581 [soft music] 1590 01:03:09,622 --> 01:03:12,167 - Jim is a brilliant artist, 1591 01:03:12,250 --> 01:03:16,421 and he's working in this amazing medium 1592 01:03:16,463 --> 01:03:17,756 called sketch comedy, 1593 01:03:17,797 --> 01:03:20,759 and he's really defined it. 1594 01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:25,305 - He could get a laugh from the intro before the cold open. 1595 01:03:25,430 --> 01:03:28,058 - A panel think tank nerds excitedly discusses 1596 01:03:28,099 --> 01:03:30,185 some topic no one else cares about, followed by 1597 01:03:30,268 --> 01:03:31,936 long, incoherent questions 1598 01:03:32,020 --> 01:03:33,813 from even nerdier members of the audience. 1599 01:03:33,897 --> 01:03:35,273 - Like, those little, like, jokes, 1600 01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:36,941 that is not easy to do. 1601 01:03:36,983 --> 01:03:38,568 Shout out to Jim Downey, man. 1602 01:03:38,610 --> 01:03:41,112 [laughter, applause] 1603 01:03:41,279 --> 01:03:43,740 - As a person who loves the show 1604 01:03:43,782 --> 01:03:45,200 with my whole heart, 1605 01:03:45,241 --> 01:03:48,203 I want people to understand who he is. 1606 01:03:48,244 --> 01:03:51,039 He's so much a fabric of the show. 1607 01:03:51,164 --> 01:03:52,832 - Es Senor Eliot Ness! 1608 01:03:52,957 --> 01:03:56,252 - You know, we would say when we'd write our movies-- 1609 01:03:56,294 --> 01:03:58,630 this is fucking 10 years after we left the show-- 1610 01:03:58,797 --> 01:04:00,256 we'd be like... [inhales sharply] 1611 01:04:00,382 --> 01:04:01,966 I think Downey would like that. 1612 01:04:02,050 --> 01:04:04,260 That's how fucking insane we are with Downey. 1613 01:04:04,302 --> 01:04:06,054 Oh, yeah, all right. 1614 01:04:08,473 --> 01:04:10,225 [speaking gibberish] 1615 01:04:10,266 --> 01:04:11,810 [laughter] 1616 01:04:11,851 --> 01:04:14,437 [speaking gibberish] 1617 01:04:14,562 --> 01:04:17,315 * * 1618 01:04:17,399 --> 01:04:19,234 - I think comedy writers in general, 1619 01:04:19,359 --> 01:04:21,403 for whatever reason, 1620 01:04:21,528 --> 01:04:25,990 they feel like the world is a bit of a swindle and a lie, 1621 01:04:26,116 --> 01:04:28,910 and they want to point that out and laugh at it. 1622 01:04:31,121 --> 01:04:34,290 Jim was so wonderful at making comedy 1623 01:04:34,374 --> 01:04:37,794 out of the way people relate to each other. 1624 01:04:37,919 --> 01:04:39,921 * * 1625 01:04:39,963 --> 01:04:42,340 The way they misunderstand each other, 1626 01:04:42,465 --> 01:04:46,386 talk to each other, conversational failings, 1627 01:04:46,469 --> 01:04:50,098 the depth it can go to in revealing human behavior 1628 01:04:50,223 --> 01:04:53,226 is as deep as people can go. 1629 01:05:01,609 --> 01:05:03,945 Plus the two with Dave Letterman. 1630 01:05:03,987 --> 01:05:07,240 I mean, I had three or four separate careers 1631 01:05:07,323 --> 01:05:09,534 within "Saturday Night Live" alone. 1632 01:05:13,621 --> 01:05:16,499 Along the way, I became a father, 1633 01:05:16,666 --> 01:05:20,378 and just last February, on the eve of the 50th anniversary, 1634 01:05:20,462 --> 01:05:22,339 a grandfather. 1635 01:05:22,422 --> 01:05:25,300 I met the love of my life at this show. 1636 01:05:25,342 --> 01:05:28,011 That's how wired I am to this place. 1637 01:05:28,094 --> 01:05:30,555 When I started here, I was the youngest person 1638 01:05:30,597 --> 01:05:32,599 on the writing staff. 1639 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:35,602 And when I left, much the oldest. 1640 01:05:35,685 --> 01:05:37,354 It's cool that, you know, 1641 01:05:37,437 --> 01:05:39,856 I was able to do it as long as I did, 1642 01:05:39,898 --> 01:05:43,860 working with some of the funniest people on the planet 1643 01:05:43,985 --> 01:05:46,321 and still make a contribution. 1644 01:05:46,404 --> 01:05:50,158 But at a certain point, you've proved what you need to prove, 1645 01:05:50,241 --> 01:05:52,952 and it's time to quietly step aside, 1646 01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:56,289 and slip out the back way unnoticed-- 1647 01:05:56,414 --> 01:05:58,124 the Irish goodbye. 1648 01:06:01,795 --> 01:06:03,296 - Live from New York, it's Saturday night! 1649 01:06:03,421 --> 01:06:05,131 - Ex-Lampooner Jim Downey 1650 01:06:05,256 --> 01:06:07,342 not only wrote for "Saturday Night Live" 1651 01:06:07,467 --> 01:06:09,052 longer than anybody else, 1652 01:06:09,177 --> 01:06:11,763 he also created this perennial list 1653 01:06:11,846 --> 01:06:13,223 read by David Letterman. 1654 01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:14,849 - What is the Top 10 List? 1655 01:06:14,933 --> 01:06:17,560 - I'm pretty sure, with respect, 1656 01:06:17,644 --> 01:06:19,854 if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, 1657 01:06:19,938 --> 01:06:20,855 I would have heard. 1658 01:06:20,939 --> 01:06:22,148 - I have to tell you, he's gone. 1659 01:06:22,232 --> 01:06:23,149 He's dead. - What do you mean? 1660 01:06:23,233 --> 01:06:24,067 - He's dead. - He's dead? 1661 01:06:24,150 --> 01:06:25,110 - He's dead. - No. 1662 01:06:25,193 --> 01:06:27,112 [laughs] Sorry, nice try.