Downloaded from YTS.BZ
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
Come on. Alright, see you.
What the hell is everyone carrying kettles early in the morning?
Hıdır, where are you?
Right in front of the door. You blind?
You forgot your honey! Your honey!
Honey, woman? Seriously?
Why the hell am I eating honey?
It's been prayed over. Open up.
It gives you energy.
I need energy at nights, not in the mornings.
And this is blessed water. Drink up.
- Here you go. - Okay, fine.
Let's break the blessed bread too.
I swear we're gonna get smitten. Blessed bread?
Wait, wait. Here are the blessed biscuits.
Dad, the blessed onion...
Man, who blesses an onion?
You went to some phony witch doctor again!
Good morning, Hıdır!
You are gonna answer for that tonight!
Damn it...
Dude!
Piss off now!
Dickhead!
The prick drove me around like I was a blushing bride.
Welcome, boss. You hungry?
Clams this early in the morning?
Just bring me some tea.
Right away, boss!
Tea's here, boss!
Here you go.
Hey, don't sit down. Get to work, customers are coming.
Right away!
Lazy bum.
Peace be upon you, Mr. Mukhtar.
And upon you, Blind Emin. Come in.
I urgently need a residence certificate.
This is a government office, nothing's urgent here.
Look, we're digital now.
Go take a number from the machine and wait your turn, Emin.
- Alright. - This is a government office, man.
Beep beep beep!
Bloody...
Scared the crap out of me.
Here you go, Mukhtar.
See? You're lucky.
Number one!
Yup, right away.
Here you go, your residence certificate.
Thanks a lot, Mukhtar.
- Have a good day. - You too.
May your day be full of blessings.
- Have a good one. - Have a nice day.
- You... - Oh, shut it.
Move.
Look at my boss, would you?
You know, boss, you were born to be a mukhtar.
- Şevket, being a mukhtar runs in my blood. - Oh...
Like hidden diabetes or something.
For example, my great-great-grandfather...
That guy there.
He was the one who invented being a mukhtar.
Indeed!
And his son was the first mukhtar to study abroad just to become one.
- Yeah! - Where?
- Syria. - Syria?
Dam...
Hey, you need a passport to go there too. Still counts as abroad.
- Yeah? - Yeah, indeed.
Think about it...
The day my dad lost the mukhtar election, he went and took his own life.
Boss, didn't your dad die of natural causes?
Well, the area is all brushland and the tree he hung himself from was short.
So his feet touched the ground and it might've taken a while.
Still, dead is dead.
Anyway, long story short...
Even if they offered me a ministry seat, I wouldn't give up being mukhtar.
Yeah, boss. You look good on that chair.
If I could, I'd ask my wife to sew it to my back pocket.
Who's getting married?
What are you doing, Groom Ersan? What's that in your hand?
An appliance. No wedding gifts from you, Mukhtar?
- Like what? - Like gold or something.
Do you even know how much gold costs now?
Who gave you that thing anyway?
Dowry Yasin. He's running for mukhtar.
Handing out kettles for votes at the teahouse.
“Kettle-cracy,” huh?
You're the mukhtar. Aren't you gonna gift us anything?
Nah, you guys go ahead for now, I'll see you later with my grand gift.
Go on!
Let's go, bride!
What are you doing, Şevket?
Sorry, boss.
My migraine's back, get me some painkillers.
Right away.
Here you go.
- The jacket. - Right away, boss.
Be quick!
The stick, Şevket.
It's just the right size, boss.
Time to wet it with blood.
From Edirne to Kars, from Jupiter to Venus!
Come one, come all! Make my family proud!
Come get your kettles, folks! Come on!
Whoa! Easy there!
Alright everyone, calm down. One minute, please.
I've got enough appliances for everyone!
Don't forget to vote for me!
Or I'll shove that kettle up your ass and brew green tea in it!
Votes for Dowry Yasin! Vote Yasin for Mukhtar!
Sign here, take your flyer.
Yasin?
You don't have one with a vibration setting?
Gramps, it's goddamn free!
You got your kettle, right? Move along!
What the hell's going on here?
Hıdır! Hey, welcome!
Come on, let us give you a bridal appliance too!
Hıdır...
NO STICKS ALLOWED
Are you seriously trying to bribe my sacred voters with a lousy kettle?
Yep.
Where on earth have you seen votes being bought with kettles?
Right here. Look, even your guy took one.
Boss, you know how it is...
The state doesn't fund mukhtar election campaigns.
I figured we'd sell these to support the campaign, you know?
Şevket, cut the bullshit.
Alright everyone, the joke's over!
Now let's all return the kettles we've taken, come on!
Hold it right there.
The guy's running a campaign. Why should they return anything?
He's right. Why should we return them?
Because...
Because if I win this election, on top of the kettle,
I'll also give each and every one of you a laser hair removal machine!
What?
Let's not kid ourselves! We're all hairy!
- Damn right! - Well said!
- Bravo! Bravo! - Give back the kettles, people!
- Hand them over! - Hold on, hold on!
What if he doesn't?
What if he bails? Get a signed pledge.
Yeah, he's got a point.
Sign a pledge!
Fine! Bring me the papers. I'll sign them!
Damn, why do you already have them?
Whatever, hand them over.
How many people can there even be?
Including the ones who've just turned 18, 1150 people.
What?
Tea?
Oh, shit.
Might as well sign it.
Abdo, the vibe here's ruined.
Gather all the kettles. No votes, no kettles.
Collect them all. Move it.
Hand it over, grandpa. For God's sake.
Move it.
Screw him.
Talking nonsense again.
Pour it, Şevket. Don't leave a dry spot.
- No dry spots. - Pour it everywhere.
Pour, pour, pour.
Bastards!
Multiplying like rabbits!
- Pour it. - On it, boss.
- That spot is still dry. Here. - Okay.
You should have warned me then instead of burning me now!
- Give it here! - What did I do?
- Give me the damn lighter! - Here, take it.
Yeah, give it here.
God just won't let me kill myself, huh?
Seriously.
Hey!
- Faruk, what the hell are you doing? - I'm alright, man.
I was just trying to hang myself but the rope snapped.
- Why? - Girl trouble, bro.
Anyway, what are you guys up to?
What were we doing?
We shouldn't let it dry, boss.
Not the time, Şevket. We'll talk later.
We were gonna have a barbecue, me and Şevket.
But Şevket forgot the grill, and I didn't bring meat anyway.
Forget us.
What about you? A girl dumped you?
Nah, bro. The girl's into me but her dad won't allow it.
I even made a vow.
I was gonna find a poor guy and give him a kilo of gold, bro.
When they refused to let me marry her,
I just took the gold and buried it in some random field.
Figured some poor soul might get lucky and find it.
Dude, are you out of your mind?
Who the hell buries gold in a field?
Do you even know how many laser epilators you could buy with that?
Epilators?
I mean, I'm just saying.
Man, you don't bury gold!
It won't grow, you idiot!
Are you actually idiot?
Anyway...
So who is this girl?
Bro, she's Kamuran's daughter. Gülizar.
Her dad and mine have been at each other's throats for years.
They're gonna marry her off to someone else.
The hell they will! Not when I am here.
What, you are gonna do something?
Dude, you're looking at the state right here.
I've married off half the women in this town.
Hell, I asked for my wife's hand in marriage myself!
Bro, if you get me that girl,
I swear on everything, that whole kilo of gold is yours.
I swear to God!
Nah, no need. This is a matter of the heart for me.
Not necessary at all.
Anyway, you...
- You go now. - Go where?
To the girl, idiot!
Go tell her we're coming tonight to ask for her hand.
- Go on! - You serious?
Dead serious!
Mark my words, Şevket. The mukhtar seat is ours.
Always, boss.
Oh, I'm feeling real good now.
Light it up.
- Hey! Hey! - Boss!
What the hell?
I almost burned alive!
You really did, boss.
Let's go, Şevket.
She is not yours to marry, bastard.
See that? God won't always smite you.
Sometimes He'll just burn you.
If I am Yasin from, I swear I'll ruin this whole game.
Boss, that guy sounds pretty serious.
Not just serious, Abdo. Damn crafty too.
Bro, want me to buy you a toast in the bazaar?
Why don't you grab a straw and slurp me dry while you are at it?
You useless hillbilly vampire!
Bottomless pit! You water buffalo!
I swear I'll smash your face in!
If you act this pathetic,
of course they'll marry me off to someone else, you donkey.
Seriously, what do I even like about that ox?
Ugh, forget it sis!
They'll give you to someone else and you'll live happily ever after.
No. If they give me to someone else, I'll cut myself.
Wait, why do I cut myself?
I'll cut Faruk. Yeah, I'll cut Faruk.
Wait, did you just speak?
Faruk.
Oh, Ms. Gülizar.
I see you've made friends with the cow. You two look pretty chatty.
- You pig. - What?
Are you mocking me now?
No... No, I'm not mocking you.
Are you seriously mocking me?
I am here to tell you something really important.
Stop throwing stuff, you're getting me dirty.
- Wait a sec. - Liar.
- Who's a liar? - Faruk! Faruk!
Faruk, seriously?
I'm really sorry.
Let me just say something.
- You're always yelling at me. - Yeah.
You haven't missed me one bit?
- I haven't, Faruk. - That's so rude. Why not?
- Get up. - Sorry, what?
- I didn't miss you, now get up. - Okay, okay. Here.
- Alright. - Ugh!
Faruk, seriously...
We're coming over tonight to ask for your hand.
Please wear something nice.
Don't be looking like this when we arrive.
But Faruk, my dad's not gonna say yes.
Why are you even bothering?
It's not for nothing. This time, it's different.
I'm coming with Mukhtar Hıdır to ask for your hand.
He's done the same for half the town already.
And everyone said yes.
- Yeah? - Yeah, totally.
- What time are you coming? - What time should we?
- Around eight, I guess. - Okay.
- Oh hey, one more thing. - Yeah?
Can I get a little kiss in advance? Just a sneak peek?
Like, one sec... Wait, what?
No kissing before marriage, Faruk.
No kissing before marriage? What is this, 1965?
Just a tiny down payment.
Not even full lips, just a little sample.
Shoo! Am I a bank or something, Faruk?
Go kiss the cow. You ox.
Oh, come on.
I just asked for an advance, that's all.
My God...
I'm really in love with her, man!
Really in...
This time it's happening. Swear to God, it is.
This is really happening.
Yeah right! Keep dreaming.
Honestly, he doesn't even look that good!
You're more...
More what?
How did we end up here?
Okay, get the hell outta here and follow Faruk!
You ball of ass!
Daisy.
Did Faruk kiss Gülizar just now?
Huh? Did he?
If he kissed her, I swear I'll raise hell.
Did he or didn't he? Just give me a sign.
Oh, he didn't. Good. Very good.
Here, try this on too, Gülizar.
Seher, you think they'll like me in this dress?
Like they could find anyone better?
Just look at the town average!
God must've made them all as overstocking rejects.
Maybe you need something more lacy, a little sexy, something flirty?
This looks like something my grandma would wear!
They're just coming to ask for her hand, Döne.
We're not prepping her for the wedding night.
Oh, wedding night? Now you're just poking my wounds.
When is my wedding night, I wonder?
Oh, for the love of God...
Sis, here, try this one too.
How about this?
You could wear a sack and still look great. Relax.
Girl, don't listen to Seher.
Show a little attitude.
Be sexy.
Here, look at me.
Boom! Boom!
Front row with assigned seats.
And I'd buy a season ticket for those!
Ignore that lunatic.
You know her, she would fall for a dirty stick.
You are just jealous! These are hard work, not silicone, baby!
Is she drunk or something? She's gone wild!
Anyway, come on, let's head inside.
Let me make you some nice coffee. Come on.
And you, quit acting out. Move it.
Take that too. That one. Let's go.
- Come on, girl. - She's hopeless.
Young man, has the noon prayer been called?
Şevket, you've got no sense at all.
If you hadn't bought unleaded gas, I'd be ashes by now!
And my lucky jacket burned too!
Boss, I bought the cheapest gas so that we could save money.
And no offense but that jacket was a crime.
It made you look so old.
You need something more hip, more stylish, boss.
Hip and stylish? Get outta here!
Take this crap to the mukhtar's office.
And wear a damn suit tonight.
Alright.
What's up, Hıdır?
None of your damn business, Yasir.
Are we beefing or something?
Dude, why would I beef with someone I don't even consider a person?
You're irrelevant.
Come on, let's make up.
I swear I only ran against you to fire you up.
- For real? - Yep.
What's that in your hand, Mukhtar? What are you doing with all that?
Well, I'll help Faruk ask for a girl's hand in marriage tonight.
So I made a little engagement tray.
Who the hell brings baklava to ask for a girl's hand in marriage?
What should I bring then, kunefe?
People take small appliances, man. It makes you look rich.
If small appliances made you look rich,
Elon Musk would be carrying a kettle everywhere.
Come on, let's check the shop. It's a gift for Faruk, on the house.
- Come on. - Hey now...
You wouldn't even give your sins away for free.
You sniffing glue or something?
Okay, asshole, move already.
Alright, alright then.
Yasin, are you sure you are okay with this?
If you bitch about it, I swear I'll curse you out bad.
It's okay, it's on me! Go browse the back.
Lots of new colorful stuff came in.
I have stuff even Europe doesn't have.
- Go ahead. - Okay, I am going ahead.
Fine.
Boss, want me to order some cappuccinos?
Something sweet to lighten the mood, you know?
Order your ass! Go water the front now!
Move! Move it!
Yasin, the ones on top are for me, the bottom ones are for Faruk.
Bloody hell, dude.
That's too many!
One is enough for you.
The hell? You might as well not give any at all!
Weren't you just talking all big, telling me to pick any color I wanted?
This shit is lousy anyway. It wouldn't boil water if you begged it.
Okay, get lost already!
Go ask for whoever's hand! Fuck off!
Fuck off yourself.
You dickhead!
Hook, line and sinker!
Hıdır, don't you have any shame?
Why the hell should I be ashamed?
Be ashamed of your daughter.
I didn't make her alone in a bathtub, did I?
If there's shame, we share it.
It's teamwork, baby.
Don't twist it.
You've got a spinster at home,
and you're out here playing matchmaker for someone else's spinster?
Who'd marry her?
What do you mean? She's lovely!
Asya. Sweetheart.
What day is it?
A type of room, five letters.
Groom!
She's in her own world.
If I can find one guy in this town who'll marry her,
I 'll throw a wedding with rice and meat for seven days and nights.
They can call me a dickhead for the rest of my life if I don't.
Amen to that!
Wait, wait!
Have a spoon of honey first.
Man, look what happened with just a dab of honey already!
You have it! For God's sake.
Come on, Hıdır! One spoon! Just one!
- Ugh, fine! - A plant, eight letters.
Mandrake!
Mom, boil some water!
The crossword says I'll find a man, look!
Yeah, sure.
A man, huh? A man!
- What did I do? - You want a man?
I'll show you a real man!
I feed the bastards dandruff, cheaper that way.
Dandruff for the fish, earwax for the cats.
Why? Because we got no municipal budget.
No one knows us. No one cares.
People think city hall is a hotel and try to bring their chicks in!
Why are you here?
Mayor, I heard you're helping Faruk ask for a girl's hand in marriage tonight.
Yeah, I am.
Well, I like her too.
You ask for her hand on my behalf and I'll give you ten kettles.
- What? - Ten kettles.
You are offering me a bribe, you little shit?
You are trying to bribe me now?
You little shit, are you seriously offering me a bribe?
No, sir...
Fucking cunt, that's a fucking bribe!
No, sir, you misunderstood.
It's, like, perceptual bias.
You know how in documentaries a zebra kicks the cheetah?
That's what I meant.
Oh, that's what you mean.
Well then, cool.
And if you're offering a bribe, make it something decent!
A kettle? Really?
A damn kettle?
Anyway, I'm out of here.
Mayor, I'm really in love with that girl.
Listen, dowry boy.
A thousand guys love one girl and only one gets her, got it?
And the remaining 999 losers get jack shit.
You get it?
You got that?
Okay.
I tried being nice, you know! Asshat!
Take this.
Crap away!
Dad, the suit's okay, right? How do I look?
Hair's alright? Not messy?
Why are you asking me? Ask your mom.
What am I, your stylist?
And where the hell is Hıdır?
They're here, dad! They're here!
Where have you been, Hıdır? Come on, for God's sake!
He has a face that could spoil milk
and we're taking him to ask for a girl's hand in marriage.
Dear God, give me strength...
Dad, just ring the bell. Who knocks like that?
Who asked you?
They're not answering.
Welcome.
Let me kiss your hand.
- Welcome. - Hello there.
These are for you.
- Move it, Faruk. Move. - Okay, Mom.
Welcome.
I am not here to eat your son, you witch!
Hello.
Hello, Mayor.
Let me kiss your hand, father.
I am not your father. Sit the hell down.
Okay.
How are you, Mayor? How's the municipality?
Thank you, Mukhtar. Welcome.
Ruhi, welcome.
Glad to be here, Mayor. Thank you.
Honestly, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now.
Dad...
And you'd do what, Ruhi? Ask the city hall for the girl's hand?
Yeah, Kamuran. I'd do exactly that.
After all, the girl's father basically belongs to the municipality.
Hear that? Is that supposed to be a jab at me?
No...
Just speaking generally.
Why are you even taking it personally?
Alright, why don't you two shut up for a minute?
Grandpa Hamdi, you're the oldest here. Maybe say something?
I'm against marriage.
One-night stands are the best.
I'd rather stay single and party every week
than go on a honeymoon for one week!
Good Lord, have mercy!
I say it as it sounds!
And I can go for five rounds!
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!
God forgive us...
He's just old, you know. Doesn't even know what he's saying.
Şevket, bring out the baklava already so we can sweeten the mood, yeah?
Go on, go on.
Ladies.
Is the baklava ready to serve?
Sure.
Yeah, add more.
Right, I'm taking this one.
I'll take this one too.
- Taking this too. - Go on, go on.
Thank you.
She's totally playing the guy!
Well, he kinda deserves it.
Alright, whatever, get back to work.
The baklava's here too.
Two people sharing one plate? Alright.
Come on, dig in.
Enjoy.
Boss...
Yasin, I think I broke my neck.
Abdo, please hold on just a bit longer.
The hemorrhoid show's about to start.
The place is gonna be full of crap.
And Gülizar will be mine.
Yeah, gobble it up.
Careful now.
Gülizar.
The groom's quite the looker.
Built like a rock, you could crack walnuts on him.
Yeah, I guess he'll do for me.
Oh, man...
Wish someone would "do" me like that too.
Gülizar, do you have an older version of him for me?
Well, there is, Seher but he's part of my package deal.
Oh, that hurts!
You're putting salt in the coffee, right?
Of course I am.
- Girl, wait! - Where's the salt?
Who even puts salt anymore?
Look what I've got!
What's that?
Wasabi! We're going full wasabi!
Bring it. Get me a spoon.
Girl, that's too much! Don't!
- Nah, it's okay! - Here, you heartless witch!
- Go on. - Men can take it.
Put it in this one.
- That one. - Men deserve it.
Girl, not so much! That's too much!
- A little more? - No, no!
- Add some more! - Don't!
- Girl, no! - Okay, okay!
Mix it.
Yeah, okay.
Enjoy.
Alright then...
Boss, I can't hold it anymore! I think I'm slipping!
- What? - I'm slipping!
- Calm down! - I'm slipping, boss!
- You damn water buffalo! - I can't hold it, I'm slipping!
- Just stand still for two seconds! - I'm going down!
- Dude, seriously! - I'm slipping!
Boss, I can't! I am slipping!
You useless fucking shit!
And who might you be?
Aren't you a sweet little thing?
Come here, you little button-eyed cutie.
Oh, shit. Motherfucker!
Son?
What? Too salty for you?
I'm fine.
Totally fine.
They must've really loaded it with salt.
Mr. Ruhi, maybe it's time to ask for the girl's hand?
Ahem...
The reason we are here...
Damn.
What the hell, Ruhi?
Is your stomach doing the talk for you?
Ahem...
With God's will and the Prophet's blessing...
Something's happening to me, man. You take over.
No worries.
This young couple have seen each other...
They've seen each other...
Seen...
You continue, please.
Come on now, Hıdır.
Since when does the groom ask for the girl's hand himself?
Are you guys messing with us or what?
Is this how you...
- What is wrong? - Oh, damn...
What the hell did we eat?
Oh, God!
That ankle-biter jumped me like a beast!
I am a mess.
Boss?
What happened? Who did this to you?
That fucking mutt! Ruined my Calvin Klein shirt too!
That tiny dog was named Monster! I guess he wanted to live up to his name!
He ripped you up real good.
But look what I got from him!
Is that a tooth?
Get out of my way! Now!
God almighty!
This is bad!
Grab him, hold him!
Oh, quick! Come!
I say it as it sounds!
And I can go for five rounds!
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!
You okay? You alright?
Wait, wait, wait...
Man, even an infidel wouldn't treat us like this.
Is this how you ask for a girl's hand?
Oh, Kamuran...
You set us up, didn't you?
Take your daughter and shove it!
- Dad, come on, don't... - Shut up!
- My stomach... - Man, you okay?
Get the hell out of my garden!
You've shit all over it!
Guys, come on! Obviously something didn't sit right!
What could it be, Hıdır?
Everyone only ate the baklava you brought. We didn't eat anything else!
Why not? We had coffee too.
Hıdır, what the hell, man?
- Mayor... - Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Dad, you're not going anywhere!
We came to ask for this girl's hand and I'm not leaving without her!
Look at this bastard!
He's still going on about the girl!
Boy, it doesn't matter if you bring a mayor, a minister or a prime minister...
Hell, I won't give you my daughter
even if you bring the goddamn USA president himself!
You're not getting her! Now get lost!
Kamuran!
Yes, Mayor?
I am right here, you know.
Right here, Kamuran.
Well, good job, Hıdır!
Good job!
You should've just let me hang myself instead!
"Every young couple in this town is married thanks to me."
Well? What now, huh?
Didn't do anything and still caught all the shit.
That's what I get for promising that epilator crap!
Yes!
That's what you get, Mr. Hıdır.
Now I just need to ask for Gülizar's hand in marriage tomorrow
and finish this once and for all!
Let's go, Abdo!
Time to scheme.
Good morning, Mukhtar Hıdır!
Morning.
Hıdır!
- Take this. - What's that?
The bracelet money I saved for Asya's dowry.
Go to the bazaar, buy two bangles. Twirly ones!
- Twirly? - Like this one.
Alright, I'll get them.
I ruined the poor kid's life...
Alright, good luck, take care!
- Girls! - What's up?
- Got any new stock in? - We do!
Gülizar.
Let me carry that for you.
What's with the face?
You don't even smile when you see me anymore.
Why should I smile, Faruk?
Thanks to you, the whole village took a dump in our yard.
It wasn't my fault!
How could I have even known that would happen?
Yeah, right. What do you want?
Gülizar...
Listen...
Let's run away together!
- Let's run! - Let's do it!
- You go that way! - I'll run that way!
- I'll run this way! - You go this way!
And when I find you, you are it, okay?
Ugh, for God's sake...
Give me that!
And don't follow me either!
- Gülizar! - What?
Seriously, do men always have to be the ones trying?
You all just sit around and do nothing?
Ferhat drills through mountains for Şirin!
Kerem gets lost in deserts for Aslı!
Faik does duets for Safiye!
And what exactly are you girls doing?
What's Faruk done for Gülizar?
He's done everything! He would do anything!
Like taking a shit in the garden? Ugh, you idiot!
Now we're really in deep shit.
Lord have mercy!
And he's still out here talking. God!
What's up, sister?
Brother Yasin, have you gone nuts? What are you doing?
I've gone mad, Gülizar! Your love's driving me crazy!
What love, Brother Yasin?
- Don't call me “brother.” - And why not?
Soon I'll be the mukhtar and you'll be the first lady.
Look, I had these gathered just for you.
Super expensive flowers!
No, thanks, Yasin.
Look, I know what happened last night and you'll be okay.
Just marry me and I'll make you the queen of appliances!
Ugh! Thanks, Yasin But I don't even like appliances!
Look, Gülizar!
Speaking of appliances...
New kettle models just dropped. They have color options too!
- What do you say? - I'm not interested, Yasin!
- Go away now. - Where are you going?
- Goodbye! - Gülizar!
I'm obsessed with this girl.
I swear I can't take it anymore.
I'll crack whips on her! Sexy hot whips!
"Say my name!"
No, you eat that!
What are you even after?
I... For God's sake.
Why am I even bothering talking to you?
I won’t go on TV, Even if you kill me,
I got a pimple like a teenage boy at eighty.
Get two servings of haydari out.
Come on, get to work.
Well, well, look who's here!
What happened? Snow in hell?
What's it to you, Appetizer Hüseyin?
You'll fix my problem?
Bring something to eat, man. I can't drink this shit by itself!
Bro, you need anything else?
- Turnip juice. - Yes?
- And one more plate of beans. - On it.
And bring some ice too.
Damn you, Trump...
Wait...
Coming right up, bro.
Turnip juice, ice and one more serving of beans.
Hüseyin.
- You want a new gig? - What gig?
You're gonna be the president of the USA.
Dude, what are you on?
I haven't even started drinking yet.
Take this money.
For just one day, you're gonna be the U.S. President.
What the hell? Go joke around with your dad, dude.
Bro, this is life or death!
A young guy's this close to offing himself!
Do something good for once. Just one day!
You play Trump and we're done!
- One day, huh? - Yep.
- Acting and stuff. - Exactly!
- You're paying good too. - Yep!
Okay, deal. I like it.
- Hell yeah! - Take this.
Time to dance!
Wait, hold up!
The operation begins.
Okay, I'm heading out!
Hıdır!
Where are the bangles?
Well, the order is in.
They're making them custom, they'll be ready next week.
Custom? How?
Didn't you want the twirly ones?
They're twirling it specially for her wrist, okay?
It'll be ready next week!
Anyway, I'm in a hurry!
Of course you are. You're always in a hurry!
Don't run away! I said stop!
Stop!
Girl!
Didn't I tell you to go inside?
But Mom! I will get no man if you keep doing this!
To hell with your men!
Come, man. Come on.
Where the hell have you been?
You think it's easy gathering all this stuff?
I couldn't find Trump's wig anywhere!
It is a women's wig apparently, had to get it shipped in from the city.
Come on, let's get this over with before someone sees us.
Here, try this on real quick.
- What's that? - Metallic paint.
For what?
The presidential car.
- What presidential car? - This one.
Okay, whatever.
I feel like we need to find somewhere more private first.
Wait, two guys sneaking off would look way worse. Nevermind.
Just go, it's okay.
Just change over there.
Here you go, guys. Enjoy!
Courtesy of Yasin.
Yasin, what are these delights for?
Wedding sweets. Got a wedding coming up.
Congrats, Yasin. Who's the bride?
You wouldn't know her, Faruk.
So, it's not from around here? Nice.
Damn, Yasin...
If only I could marry Gülizar too!
Imagine a double wedding. That'd be amazing.
Yeah, it would.
In your dreams, sucker.
- Sorry? - I am sure you'll get her.
Hopefully. Maybe we'll even do a...
Alright.
Please come, Mister President.
Give me your hand, c'mon.
Who the hell is this?
Come here please.
Come, come, come.
This is the town's teahouse.
This is the local people.
Oh yeah.
Milf. Big yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
What kind of English is that?
I studied all night online, man!
God damn it, you idiot.
Boss, who is this?
Yeah, Hıdır, who is this guy?
Who is he?
The one and only president of the United States, Mr. Trump.
- What? - Yep!
You serious?
We met at a mukhtar's summit in Fashington.
Sorry, where?
Fashington.
The Ankara of America.
That's where we met.
I asked him for a favor, and he said yes.
He's here to help us ask for Gülizar's hand in marriage.
- What? - What?
Yep!
Hıdır, ask the president what he'd like to drink.
No, no, he won't drink anything.
We just thought we'd give him a quick tour of the area.
Excuse us, please.
Right this way, Mr. President.
You go stay at the shop.
Faruk, come with us.
Where to, bro?
Your mama's... Just come, Faruk.
- Oh God. - Please, Mr. President, this way.
Here, please.
Something smells fishy, Abdo.
Want me to get you mint soup, boss?
To hell with your mint soup!
Some delight?
Delight my ass!
Hi.
Hi, sweetie.
What's up, champ? Think you know me from somewhere?
No, no, no, Mr. President. Somebody...
Wait, he's speaking Turkish!
Hüseyin?
Your father-in-law wanted the U.S. President, right?
So, we delivered!
Man, have you lost your minds?
You think my father-in-law's buying this?
- Didn't you buy it? - I did.
- So? - So?
Didn't I tell you I've got this?
Man, you're the ultimate wingman!
You're the king!
And you are my president now!
Your English is decent too.
Kamuran, what's this here?
What's this black smudge?
It's fish, right, mayor?
No, Kamuran. That's shit.
That fish pooped its body weight.
I thought since they live in water, they'd have watery poop.
Turns out they pop it out like goats.
That's your big concern, really?
Sparkling water.
We've been running festivals for five years now.
We've spent a fortune on them, Kamuran...
Look at this weirdo.
Anyway, not even a mention in a single newspaper, you know.
Villages next door are world-famous and we're stuck recognizing ourselves.
- Why? - Why?
Because, with a sinner like Hıdır,
this town will just keep going in circles, Mr. Mayor.
Come on now.
Still holding a grudge, huh?
Come on, have some tea. Relax.
Want me to order one?
Make it light. Light tea.
One light tea for Kamuran.
Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!
Sir!
What is it now, Yasin?
The U.S. President Trump is in town!
Apparently he hasn't been seen in public for a while either!
Did you hear that?
Trump is here! He's in Mudanya!
Get a load of this guy.
Did Melanie come too?
- Melanie? - His wife.
Swear to God, I saw him with Hıdır at the teahouse.
With my own eyes!
They were sitting there, chatting!
Swear to God, I saw it.
Oh man...
Trump's in Mudanya, huh?
Trump's in freaking Mudanya!
MR. TRUMP IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
You know what, Mr. Mayor?
I'm sure Hıdır brought him here for my daughter.
Now we're screwed.
Now we're totally screwed!
What do you mean screwed?
Screwed how, Kamuran?
This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!
A golden opportunity just landed at our feet!
We're gonna break the news wide open!
Move it, move it!
- Where to? - Just move! Don't ask, just move!
Move it, appliance guy! Move!
Listen, Faruk.
Go tell Gülizar we're coming to ask for her hand again tonight.
Wait, you're serious...
Got it, bro!
Hüseyin, you go home too. I'll see you tomorrow morning.
Can't do that.
If I go home like this, my dad will beat me with a stick.
So what do we do?
I'll crash here with you tonight.
Alright, fine!
But no talking politics. My wife's a Biden fan.
It's okay, I'm a Biden guy too.
Well, well, well!
Mister President!
Welcome to our municipality, sir.
I'm Dursun Karanfilci, the mayor of this town.
It is an honor to host you in our town hall.
Sir, the President is here just to ask for a girl's hand.
He'll be leaving shortly.
No way. We won't let him go that easily.
He is now the guest of honor at our festival.
What festival?
The Trilye Peacock Festival.
There are peacocks in Trilye, Mr. Mayor?
I know, Hıdır. I know there aren't.
But we spent a fortune to bring them in from Bursa.
We'll host him for a few days.
Translate.
I like to move it, move it. You like to...
Move it.
We'd like to host him as a guest at our festival for a few days.
Translate that, Hıdır.
Annie, are you okay?
Annie, are you okay? Okay?
Okay! Milf. Yeah.
Wait, what did he say?
He just needs a little rest. He'll get back to you later.
No way.
He's the U.S. president, for God's sake!
You want him staying in this coop, Hıdır?
If the mukhtar stays there, so can he!
Nope.
We will accommodate him in our VIP guest lodge in the forest.
Deep in the woods.
Everything he can possibly want is there.
Fancy sweets, snacks and "snacks"! Whatever he wants!
"Snacks"? Oh, yeah! Go, go, go!
No, no...
I know he's not Trump.
And I know exactly what you're up to, Hıdır.
I won't ruin your game but don't mess up mine either.
Or your whole family tree will pay.
Don't blow it, okay? I'm warning you, don't.
Then let's all go together, yeah?
- Come on. Let's go. - Lead the way.
- Let's go. - Move it.
What now?
So Trump came to town to help you ask for my hand?
- Yep. - Wow!
And who's the best man? Putin?
Why do I even listen to you?
Gülizar, come he4re.
Have I ever lied to you?
- Here. - Let me see.
Here. Who's that?
Whoa! That's Trump!
Of course it's Trump! I told you!
Go tell your folks, we're coming for another visit.
And this time we are definitely getting engaged.
- For real? - For real.
Alright then, let me go tell my parents.
Okay, go. But before you go...
I was gonna ask for a kiss, but you won't give it.
Where's the cow? I'll kiss the cow instead.
No cows around, Faruk.
Faruk.
I hate you, you know.
Stupid Faruk.
- This is how you hate, huh? - Here, throw it at that idiot.
Why me, boss?
You're young. You'd do less time than me.
Okay, boss.
For you, I'd do life if I had to!
Life, I tell you!
You useless fucking shit!
Oh, God!
Dude, it's gangrene now. It's totally gangrene.
Useless little fuck!
Boss, it didn't even hit your foot, just went between your toes!
Kid, you don't get it. These shoes are custom-made.
- Custom? - Exactly.
Dear friends.
We are proud to host a world leader in our town today.
The world may see us as just a backyard.
But let's not forget, the best fruit grows in the backyard.
Thanks to dear Trump, the whole world will now know Mudanya.
What a tremendous blessing!
What an incredible stroke of luck!
And now I give the floor to Mr. President.
Mr. President, please.
Go ahead.
- Salaam alaikum. - Alaikum salaam.
See? He's already like one of us!
Speak English, you animal!
Go ahead.
Mr. Trump says he really likes Mudanya.
Bravo!
And from today onward,
we officially declare Mudanya and USA sister cities.
Bravo!
Wait a second, hold on.
Can I ask the president a question too?
Yasin, your English isn't enough for that.
Let him ask, Hıdır.
He's one of our own here in the village.
Go ahead, ask.
Mr. President, welcome to Trilye.
What are you?
This is a pencil.
Manufacturing.
Any question?
What are you doing here?
What the fuck, man?
He said "fuck you"! He did!
Bravo.
Okay, let's party!
Come on people, we are not come here to sit. Let's go!
Hıdır.
Hıdır!
Hıdır.
What dance is this? I am not familiar with it.
This is the Illuminati folk dance.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Then you reach enlightenment.
Mayor, I have a question.
Why would the president of the United States come here without security?
Kamuran, you're so naive.
He's on a secret mission, man.
Would it still be secret if he came with a thousand bodyguards?
That's true.
When is he gonna ask for our girl's hand though?
Hıdır, I really gotta pee, man.
Dude, you are telling me the U.S. President needs to pee?
Why not? He wouldn't?
I don't know, you'd think he doesn't.
- Well, I gotta go or I'll pee right here. - Okay, chill, we'll sort it out.
Relax.
Mr. President would like to visit the restroom.
Easy, easy.
Man, I swear I recognize this Trump from somewhere...
Here, boss. Your eyes must be hungry.
Abdo, if we hooked your brain up to a cow, it'd drown itself in its own milk, dude!
You flushed one of the 52 states back there, dude!
Dude!
Mayor?
Where to, Hıdır?
We were feeling a little heavy from the food,
so we're just stepping out for some fresh air.
Trump's staying here tonight.
- Then I'm staying too. - Why?
Who's gonna translate what this guy says?
It's not like he's gonna translate himself.
Yeah, who's gonna translate for me?
- He will. - Exactly.
Okay, he's staying here until the festival ends.
Once it hits the papers, you're free to go.
Alright, Mr. Mayor, no problem.
We'll take Faruk with us too.
- Let's go then. - After you.
Alright then.
Clingy little bastard!
Yeah, go ahead.
Get inside.
You'll see what happens then.
Idiot.
“I won't be home tonight.
Something urgent came up at city hall.
Your honeycomb, Hıdır.”
The person you are calling cannot be reached at the moment.
Please try again later.
After the beep...
The asshole you're calling can't be reached!
I'm gonna lose it.
This guy is definitely cheating on me! I'm done!
He's totally cheating! Totally!
Absolutely cheating!
Who's this guy, sweetie?
Who are you, boy?
Mom, I found him on the street.
Should we keep him?
He might end up your future son-in-law.
A son-in-law, huh?
Now, you are gonna get it!
You disgraceful tramp!
Stop bringing random men into the house!
Old school romance was something else, huh?
Wish we lived back then, right?
Sure.
You'd still end up with someone like dreamy Ayhan Işık,
and I'd be stuck with Yadigar Ejder.
Are we there yet?
We are, Auntie Hatice.
Final stop, Menopause Village.
Go make fun of your own mother.
Mom, your neck's gonna cramp there. Go lie down properly.
No, it's drafty here.
Give me some tea, will you?
No way.
Why not, girl?
Mom, that tea must be ice cold by now.
I like my tea cold, you know?
Auntie Hatice, that tea's probably bitter now.
Let us brew you a fresh one.
No need. Leave it.
Your conversation's crap anyway.
I'm going inside.
Don't stay up too late.
Alright, mom.
We are just gonna nibble some sunflower seeds and call it a night.
Good night then.
Wait, hold on.
Alright, wine time. Fill 'em up.
- Come on, come on. - Bring it.
Cheers, girls.
For a second, I panicked thinking my mom might drink too.
What are we toasting to?
To Gülizar's upcoming wedding.
To that hunky groom-to-be.
To my great love, Faruk the donkey, and the days we'll spend side by side!
May it be my turn next!
Faruk, listen. You sleep here.
- Why, bro? - I suffer from homophobia.
Oh wow, get well soon, man.
Alright, I'll sleep here. No worries.
Also, we really need to wrap this up tomorrow.
If the gendarmerie gets wind of this, we'll be a laughing stock.
Yeah, you are right.
He is leaking poison!
Move! Move! Go, run!
Guys, wake up.
Man, the mayor is a real bro.
He left me a suit before he left.
Fits me perfectly too.
My back's stiff from sleeping here.
Wait, why did you guys sleep outside?
I wonder why?
So that you could rip farts all night in peace.
Even the bird inside passed out from your fart, dude.
Good thing you're still alive.
Yeah, I guess.
- Alright, enough jokes. - Get up, get up.
If gendarmerie comes, we'll get busted.
Let's go.
Oh, dear God!
I didn't do anything! I swear, I didn't!
It wasn't me, it was him!
Told you they wouldn't buy it.
What's up, Hıdır? You going somewhere?
President Trump suddenly had a craving for something sweet.
So we figured we'd look around and see what's out there.
- He's lying. - Fuck off.
Don't worry, I got you.
Today you'll get all the sweets you can handle.
Because today is a special day.
It is Trilye's liberation day!
Mr. Mayor, when was Trilye even occupied to begin with?
Anyway...
Kids, come over here.
One, two, three.
A mother weeps, Her eyes are full of tears.
Holding a rifle, With tulip-shaped brows.
The enemy's at the Bursa highway.
Oh, tollbooths, tollbooths. Damn you, tollbooths.
Bravo, bravo.
Alright kids, go take your seats.
Mr. President, let's pose for a photo for the press.
Right this way, right this way.
Go on, please.
Right this way.
“The press” is just Şükrü the Stationer.
Sir, if you'll allow us,
we'd like to host you at the Trilye Cultural Center.
Let's go, sir.
Right this way, press folks.
Come on, now.
Let's keep the tour going.
Onward with the tour.
If they go ask for the girl with Trump, they'll definitely get her.
And the mukhtar post too.
I'll lose all respect in town.
What do we do, boss?
There must be a weak spot in this Trump dude.
Let's go. We're hitting the hardware store.
Let's move.
President.
Dear townsfolk, the president has arrived.
It is my honor to present you with this gift on behalf of our town.
Ömer, reveal it.
What the hell is this, dude?
Did you make the statue out of soap?
Yeah, we thought if he likes it, he could bathe with it at home.
You are fucking useless, Ömer.
Sir, come on to the cultural center, please.
This way, sir. Please.
You too, press.
TRILYE CULTURAL CENTER
ÖMER'S TEAHOUSE
Alright folks, sit down.
Sit down, carry on.
Keep doing whatever you were doing.
Thanks to our municipality,...
...we organize all kinds of cultural activities here.
Look.
No, no, no.
Very nice.
Oh, Mr. President.
A Turkish number.
As you can see, the world is indeed bigger than five.
Yes, Mr. President.
Sir, if you'd like, we've prepared a little breakfast outside.
Let's have brunch together.
Brunch? Yeah, yeah.
- Yes. - This way, please.
What's a festival without a brunch, right?
Come on, right this way.
This is a humble gift for Mr. Trump.
Ömer, don't just stand there. Scram.
Move along, boy.
Good boy. Yeah.
The idiot ruined the sausage.
Wow, look at him go.
He's loving that spicy stuff.
It's like he's from Urfa, not USA.
Well, they have spicy food in America too.
It's not like they don't.
They call it “hot.”
Like we have isot, they have tacos.
Hot, you know?
Hüseyin, the press is here.
Calm down. Eat slower.
Slow down, Hüseyin.
President Trump.
Look what I brought! You like it?
What the hell is this lunatic doing?
He's an idiot. Idiots gonna idiot.
What does this mean?
Didn't like it? He didn't even look at us.
WELCOME, TRUMP
Okay, let's go!
Shall we keep the tour going, Mr. President?
Oh yeah, go, go.
Mayor, isn't this going too far?
Come on, let us go already.
Relax, man, I'll let you go.
I've invited the local press. A few will show up.
And tomorrow is the beauty contest.
After that, you're free.
A beauty contest? Ain't no beauties in this village!
I brought them in myself, Hıdır. I handled it.
Just one more night, man. Can't say no to the mayor.
Cut the bullshit, you just want to see the chicks.
Mayor, please.
This is a matter of life and death.
If the gendarmerie finds out, we're screwed.
And this guy keeps rolling his eyes at me and kinda humping the air a little.
Seriously, I don't feel safe here.
Come on, let's just get the girl already.
Fine, okay. You can have Trump tonight.
Alright. Guys, the president is leaving.
Let's go.
- Mr. President, this way. - Yes.
- Let's move. - This way.
Come on, Kamuran.
Hüseyin! Hüseyin, go!
Mayor!
Mayor, what about the check?
Why are they taking so long?
Sorry, girls. Took us a while to get ready.
It's okay.
Stop prancing around and move it!
Şirin, I found the address. It's two blocks down.
Is the guy actually good at what he does?
Girl, they praised him a lot.
They say he's got a powerful breath.
His name's "Windy Arif."
Thanks, Gülizar.
If this doesn't work either, I'm taking the girl to a vet.
Wait, the vet's a guy, mom?
You sure about this? Should we have tried a doctor first?
You think I didn't try that, Seher?
The last doctor I took her to is now undergoing therapy himself.
Yeah, Asya's just like me!
Welcome.
- Who's the patient? - This one.
She's my daughter.
What seems to be the issue?
Men.
Actually, my daughter is their issue.
She's obsessed with men.
Let's not say obsessed. She's just a little too enthusiastic.
Sure, why not?
But Arif is currently on an astral journey.
So we'll have to ask you to wait a bit.
Well, I guess he's not here.
Girl, where do you think you're going?
Just say he's napping, not “on an astral journey.”
Here, this is the consultation fee.
There you go.
Ugh, it's hot in here.
Just say you wanna show some skin!
You air-conditioned lunatic!
Shut up, girl.
Guess he ran out of charge.
Sir?
Sir! Hello, sir!
Since when have you been here?
Well, we were here before you were.
Sorry, I was in a trance.
Think of it like a tunnel, no signal inside.
Who's the patient?
This one, sir.
You two, come upstairs.
I'll blow on you up there.
Alright, sir. Come on, let's go.
Come on, girl.
What? Oh God, I'll die single!
So what's your daughter's issue?
Tell me so I can tailor the blow accordingly.
Sir, my daughter has no luck in love.
And whenever she sees a man, she loses it.
She goes wild. You can't even find her!
No worries.
My name's Windy Arif.
Even flightless birds take off when I blow on them.
Now step aside a little.
Alright.
Problem solved. All good now.
That's it? It's done?
It's done? That was it?
Really?
It's okay now? How?
It's okay.
Well, I'll be...
Sir?
What? Since when have you been here?
I think he's short-circuited.
Sir, you just blew on her, remember?
Right. Go on now. Shoo.
We should go?
Alright then. Come on, girl.
You go on ahead.
Sir... I need to ask you something.
My husband's a bit of a player.
Is there something I could use to keep him loyal?
Take this.
Mix it into his food or tea three times a day and he'll be your slave.
- He'll be tied to the house like a mutt. - For real?
This one's on the house.
Will he bark too?
Every time you want.
Thank you so much.
Idiots.
I needed that ear drop too.
Here you go, sir.
- Thank you. - Enjoy.
Hıdır.
Come here, now.
Come.
Is he staying the night?
The U.S. President is here, for God's sake.
It's not your father-in-law, you know.
No, I mean, if he's staying, I should lay out a floor mattress or something.
No, he's not. He's just here to help Faruk get his girl.
Hıdır.
I had Asya blown on by the healer today.
Now I'm thinking, maybe Trump should give it a try too?
His breath might be stronger.
Hey, why not?
While we're at it, let's have Putin blow on her too.
Maybe he's got magical lungs too, who knows?
Stop talking nonsense, woman. Okay, we are leaving.
- Mr. Trump, go. - Go, go?
- Go, go. - But...
- Hıdır! Hıdır! - What now?
- You forgot your tea. - Leave it, it's fine.
Half a cup causes infertility. Come on!
What's that got to do with it? Fine, give it here.
- I'm drinking it, chill. - Go on.
- Drink it all. - Here.
- Damn you. - Okay, bye!
- Take care! - Bye.
I got him to drink the potion tea. Success!
He won't be looking around anymore.
He'll be loyal.
No more flirting.
He won't even notice anyone else.
Girl, we did it!
Bro, I'm so nervous.
No need to stress. This time it's happening.
If they say yes, great.
If not, we slap on sanctions, right, Mr. President?
- I will always love you, yeah. - Yeah!
- Go in. - Oh God.
Abdo, man...
How could they do this to me?
What does Faruk have that I don't?
I am good-looking.
I have charisma.
I am rich too.
I am even baby-face.
I've got it all, haven't I, Abdo?
Boss, I'm just gonna pour some booze back into the sea.
I'll be right back.
Okay, you have my blessing.
Seriously?
Let me kiss your hand, father.
Mother.
Hıdır!
Mr. President!
- Mashallah. - Indeed, mashallah!
Thank you! Thank you so much!
- Dad. - You're over the moon.
- Mom. - Oh, bless your heart.
Mayor.
Take those away.
I'm not risking it.
If I'm Yasin, the king of home appliances, I'm putting an end to this right now!
Boss, don't.
Come on, don't do it.
You've got style, bro.
You've got the looks too.
You're descended from saints, man.
You've got charisma. You're a man of stature.
This isn't your style.
Really, it doesn't suit you.
How about a cappuccino?
You know, to sweeten the mood.
I'm gonna go tear down American imperialism...
...and win Gülizar's heart!
Dude, the world couldn't tear it down, you think you can?
Clown!
- Faruk. - What?
- This isn't a dream, is it? - No, don't be ridiculous.
God! What are you doing?
What? I just wanted to check if it was a dream.
You are supposed to pinch yourself for that,
not punch others like a bus driver!
Okay, chill, you are fine.
- Seriously... - Güli, where are you?
- Faruk. - Huh?
Faruk, go. My mom's coming!
Why are we running? We're engaged now!
Faruk, come on, she's coming!
- Come on! - Okay!
- Faruk, hurry! - No, give me more.
- Faruk, seriously! - Okay, one more kiss here.
- Faruk, hurry! - Okay, okay!
Faruk, go already! Hurry!
I can't get enough of you!
- Oh God! - Damn you!
My mom.
Keep sleeping, Miss Gülizar.
Feeling fully charged now!
Now I have got the power!
By the power of home appliances!
Gülizar is mine now!
Let's go.
Here we go!
I'm coming for you, Gülizar!
What do you mean by "Trump in Mudanya"?
Now you're telling me this?
Who is he talking to there?
He's walking around with a guy named Hıdır.
What does "muhtar" even mean, you idiot jerks?
Clearly, he's a soldier in disguise. go and make that man talk.
We're sending our two best agents into the field, sir.
Nadya! Olga!
Trump is an old buddy of mine.
I won't let the Turks have him! Prepare my missile!
Good morning, my familia!
- Wakey wakey, Mister President! - What the hell?
- Up! Wash your face, come on. - Oh, come on...
- Okay, pour me some tea. - Okay.
- Morning, sis-in-law. - Good morning.
Go put the tea on.
Wait, he's speaking Turkish.
Yes, he is. What gave it away?
Dear God...
Dad, I found him!
- Found who, girl? - A husband, Dad!
What husband? From where?
He came in through the window!
Through the window?
Morning! What's up?
Is the tea fresh?
What the hell are you doing here, you defiler?
- Hey! - What are you doing?
- Fooling around with my daughter, huh? - Hıdır, what are you doing?
Let it go!
- Stop! - Hıdır, it was an accident!
I thought it was Gülizar, I swear! I wouldn't have done it otherwise!
- Say your last prayer, you creep! - Hıdır!
Say it! Let go of me!
I swear, man...
- Let go! - What the hell's going on here?
What's happening?
The healer's magic worked! That's your son-in-law now!
Don't be ridiculous!
Oh, Appetizer Hüseyin...
I swear, I had a hunch!
You schemed to get that girl, right?
None of your business, defiler!
Listen up.
You either marry this girl or the bullet you are about to eat.
Okay! Fine! I'll marry her!
It's not like I'll find someone better anyway.
She is out of my league. I'll marry her right away.
- For real? - For real.
Let's get them hitched then.
Then after you, father-in-law.
Okay, am I done here? Because I am out.
This wig is messing me up too.
God bless you, man.
You've helped these young ones start a family together.
- Come on. - Okay.
Let's go. Kiss my hand now.
Good boy.
Mother, let me kiss your hand too.
You are so funny, Mr. Trump.
I am Governor Bahadır Bali.
I wish you'd let me before thank get you here coming.
Maybe, maybe... Oh, baby.
Yeah.
Governor, Mr. Trump understands Turkish perfectly well,
he just can't speak it.
So you can keep going in Turkish.
No need to test your English.
After the beauty pageant at the festival today,
we'll host you in Ankara.
All state officials are waiting there to meet you.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
We're officially screwed.
Hıdır, we're officially screwed.
Mr. Trump.
Shall we head to the festival area?
Right this way, sir.
- Please. - Please.
- Please come in. - Go ahead.
- You go on ahead. - Here.
I'll get the car and catch up.
Run, man, run.
Run like there's no tomorrow.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Who's Hıdır? - Hıdır? Mukhtar Hıdır?
Yes.
There he is, Mukhtar Hıdır.
- Yes? - Hello, sweetheart.
Could you give us a ride?
If this old thing even starts, sure.
Let's go.
Oh wow, it actually started!
- Drive, honey. - Where to?
We're here for the beauty contest, sweetie.
Take us to the festival grounds.
You got it.
- Alright. - Let's go then.
Thanks a lot.
Enjoy, mukhtar!
- Şirin! - What?
I saw him with my own eyes, Şirin. With two Russian chicks!
They looked like supermodels too!
This is serious, Şirin!
Tiny waists, too. Easy to grab, easy to carry.
Who the hell are you talking about?
- Hıdır! - What?
Even the potion couldn't slow that bastard, huh?
You're finished, Hıdır.
I'm coming to take your life!
Move aside.
Out of my way!
Weren't you here for the festival?
You should be ashamed of yourselves!
- Talk. - Talk about what?
I've been upside down for an hour and a half!
My brain's leaking out! I even forgot my own name, man!
Why is Trump here?
To help us ask for a girl's hand in marriage!
How many times are you gonna ask me?
He is here to help a young man get the girl!
He's a highly trained agent.
It's been two hours, he hasn't said a word.
He won't talk. You take him out. I'll go take out Trump myself.
Ok.
Where the hell is she going?
Listen here.
Tell her not to wander around half naked.
There's a creep named Yasin here. He won't leave her alone, man.
He even got to my daughter.
She is going to kill Trump.
The way I am gonna kill you.
Girl, don't be stupid, come on.
Wait, at least let me say goodbye to my wife.
If I don't say goodbye to her, I'll die with regrets.
Please! Hey!
Şirin!
Say your final prayer.
Hey baby, how you doing?
Doing great, how about you?
I knew you were coming for me.
Liar.
What's she have that I don't, huh?
That's a trap question.
I refuse to answer that, my love.
Even lying on the ground, she's a total bombshell.
That she is.
That other woman went off to shoot Appetizer Hüseyin.
Let me down, quick!
Wait, wait, wait!
Hıdır.
Wait, let me.
Let me, stop wiggling.
- Move, she's gonna shoot Hüseyin! - Hurry!
- Go, go, go! - She'll shoot Hüseyin!
Do you think you'll win the presidency this year, Mr. Trump?
Maybe, baby.
Maybe, maybe...
Inshallah.
Inshallah?
He picked up a few Turkish words from the local imam, Governor.
Dear people of Mudanya, welcome to our Peacock Festival!
Mr. President of the USA, welcome to our humble town and festival.
I wish you all a good time!
And I'd love to have you on my show after the festival.
I like to do the deed.
Look, look!
He suddenly speaks perfect English when a hottie shows up!
No kidding.
JURY
Which idiot chose Madam Aysel as the host, man?
We had no choice, mayor.
All the pretty girls work for Aysel.
Now the most beautiful and most “relaxing” ladies of our town
will strut their stuff on stage.
Are we ready?
Let's hear that applause!
Run! Run!
You bitch!
Boss!
You shameless hussy!
What do you think you're doing?
You little...
Boss! Boss!
I swear I'm gonna kill you!
Yasin!
I've been shot! I'm hit!
My fancy shirt is ruined now!
My boss has been shot!
The bullet's inside me, man!
Boss, are you okay?
Are you alright?
The joint US-Russian operation has been foiled.
Mudanya's famous appliance king, Yasin Karabayır,
was hospitalized after being shot during his brave actions.
The captured US and Russian agents are under arrest and waiting to be deported.
Button up.
- Governor, sir. - Easy now.
Welcome, Governor, welcome.
Mr. Trump had to urgently return to his country due to important matters.
- Really? - Unfortunately.
What am I going to tell Ankara now?
Governor, he really loved it here.
He'll definitely come back again.
And when he does, he'll have some very kind words to say about you.
That's what he wanted me to tell you.
Thanks for everything.
- You're welcome. - Guess we'll head out now.
I'll walk you out.
Would've been fun if you stayed a bit, Governor.
- Thank you. - Let me walk you out.
Let's crank up the music! It's wedding time!
Come on! Everyone on the dance floor!
Stand up, dude! You got the girl, now dance!
Hıdır, it's thanks to you that I have Gülizar now.
- Thank you so much. - Come on now, don't mention it.
Here bro, take this.
What the heck is this?
Bro, this is the gold I promised you.
Here.
See?
I know you promised the townspeople stuff, bro.
Like epilators, kettles and all that.
This way, I help you keep your word and fulfill mine.
Man, anyone who votes for an epilator can go f...
Lord forgive me. Let them stay hairy!
Who cares?
- Come on, time to dance. - Wait, bro!
I've got a surprise for you.
- What's up? - It's a good one.
Look, bro.
Wait, isn't that Yasin and Asya?
Yup.
Turn it off!
Kill the music!
What the hell's going on there?
Move it. Outta my way.
- Bro, wait... - Outta my way.
They love each other, man. Don't do this.
What the hell are you doing? What is this?
You don't marry a girl this way!
- Dad? - No, I am not your dad!
What do you think you're doing, huh?
And you! Especially you!
What the hell is this?
Actually, now that you are here,
I guess we can skip the seven-day seven-night meat-and-rice wedding, huh?
Well, come get married then!
Dance away! Go!
Kiss your father's hand too!
Kiss it! There we go!
Now go on, dance!