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[indistinct chattering]
[Woman] Yeah but Teresa and Drew, though...
[Woman] I know. They’re... so iconic!
[Teresa] Hi, sorry, excuse me.
[Woman] Yeah! Where do we find a Drew?
[chattering and ringback tone continues]
[door opens]
[Ira] Teresa?
Hey, how are you?
I- I’m...
Isn’t it your wedding day?
[distant inaudible voices]
Yes.
[sighing]
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm really happy.
And I love Drew.
And I forgive you.
Okay?
I love my husband.
I really--
♪ vocal swells ♪
♪ “Wavelengths” playing ♪
[Teresa] Drew.
Drew, give us a smile!
♪ You kept me warm in the winter...♪
♪ We melted in spring... ♪
Drew here has never seen The Shining
so--how old are you?
[Laughs]
♪ and if I really tried again ♪
♪ do you think he would let me back in ♪
I am doing DIY December, where we are doing--
DIY December!
♪ I hope you find your love and she treats you well ♪
[Teresa] Hey Drew.
What’s it like to lose?
How small is the plane to the island going to be?
Pretty small.
How small we talking?
[Pilot] Ladies and gentlemen, we
do have a nut allergy on board today, so...
- Honeymoon vibes. - Honeymoon vibes.
[Teresa] Have you seen my--
My husband!
[chuckles] Okay.
[Kathy] An island in Panama!
[Drew] Our honeymoon.
I love that!
So are you still in a daze from the wedding?
Oh, we actually got married a year ago,
but we did the whole
‘mini moon’ thing.
So this is the ‘official’ official honeymoon.
Yeah, and I'm still in a daze.
Do you want a bar?
They’re keto. It’s like a keto cookie bar.
I have, like, five of them.
No, I’m good.
So how did you two meet?
Craigslist.
[Man coughs]
Craigslist?
I was selling a lamp.
[laughs] Oh!
My nana gave me this lamp
and I didn’t have a place for it
and I was leaning more into this
Japanese minimalism aesthetic.
Nana was a maximalist.
And I answered his ad.
Everybody was like, low balling me.
And I'm like, ‘This is my Nana's lamp!’
So Teresa comes in, she makes the lowest offer, right?
And I couldn't say no.
- So, I kept her number... - [man coughs]
... and I promised myself
I would not text her for drinks...
...for a whole week.
- [Flight Attendant] Sir, are you okay?
And when I did, she answered right away.
Couldn’t say no.
Oh, I love that.
[man coughs violently]
Oh my goodness.
- Is he okay? - [Flight Attendant] Sir?
[coughing continues]
[Passenger] Oh my god, what’s happening?
[Flight Attendant] Can someone--
I got it.
[Teresa] Honey, you’re not a doctor!
He’s not a doctor!
[Flight Attendant] Right there, now.
Oh!
[man gasps]
[man breathes]
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Peanuts.
Thank you.
[clapping]
No. No, no, no.
[clapping continues]
Who brings peanuts on an airplane
after they announce there's a nut allergy?
Your keto bar!
[passengers whisper]
I mean our keto bar.
[Flight Attendant] Ahem!
Sorry.
[bag crinkles]
It's our honeymoon.
♪ upbeat ukelele ♪
[plane passes]
[Drew] Really nice meeting you too.
[Teresa] Get me on the ground!
[plane engine slows]
Thank you.
Yeah, it doesn't even say there are peanuts in here.
[luggage rattles]
Yeah. Look. Says right there:
“Prepared in a facility with nuts.”
Where are our bags?
[Drew] The bags never made it to Houston.
I knew we shouldn't have - checked them. - That's on me.
Oh, that's not your fault. Besides, we can--
We can go 24 hours without our stuff.
Life at the equator is striking.
[flip flops flapping]
Oh, that is a hat.
It’s good, right?
Morning.
Hello.
Okay.
Wow. We're buying the hat.
[Drew] Hello! How’s your day--
[boat motor rumbles]
How's your day going so far?
You really have to chat with everyone, don’t you?
[boat motor roars]
You say something?
No, no. Nothing really.
♪ drums and guitar ♪
Woo!
♪
[tourists shout]
♪
[rowdy bar crowd yells]
♪
[boat engine slows]
Wow...
♪
She wanted an adventure.
Yes, um... Pinterest... found.
And the Panama beaches are stunning.
♪
Supposed to be food.
I’ll reach out to the rental guy.
Sunken living room...
Drew, there's a guitar!
Do you see the guitar?
Yeah.
And here is...
...the bathroom.
♪
[waves]
[waves continue]
[Teresa] Wow, look at you.
Actually go back a few.
Okay, stop.
Yes.
I am going to go topless.
Because I'm an empowered woman.
Yo!
Drew! You said this is a private beach.
Hello.
- Hello. - Hi.
Hi.
I’m Paz.
[Drew] Oh, Paz! Yeah.
Paz?
The rental host.
P-A-Z, Paz.
[Teresa] Oh! Oh, ‘Paz’ the name. Love that.
Thank you.
How are you guys finding the place?
[Teresa] It's great.
Yeah, thanks.
Good.
Sorry to be annoying.
We, um... I think there was supposed to be, like
food in the house?
Or, like, a lunch prepared? Part of the welcome package.
- The ‘honeymoon package’? - [Paz] Oh, yeah.
I told my friends to drop off some food, but,
you know, ‘island time.’ We move at the speed of nature.
Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it.
We actually already ate.
Yeah, we brought some bars.
Yeah, they're these healthy bars, they’re for women.
Well, they're for anybody.
I mean, they're not gendered.
They're not ‘Mrs. Bar, Mr. Bar.’
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're keto, y’know, so...
I don’t.
Oh, god, you need to know keto, ‘cause I think
that's probably, like, the diet here, right?
[Paz] I promise the food here is great.
I recommend trying Bibi’s down the beach.
You guys wanna...?
Oh! Okay, Bibi’s!
We would love to.
But we were just going to settle in a bit.
Yeah. Right on. Well, if you need me,
I live right down the beach.
- [Teresa] Nice to meet you. - Yeah.
♪
And I appreciate you, Serena.
Thank you.
You have a great night.
Bye bye.
Who's Serena?
It's going to be a few more days.
The bags are still in Houston.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's annoying.
Well, they're doing the best they can.
Well, you could've yelled.
You never yell.
I yell.
- Oh, you do? - Yes.
You know what?
I am really just tired from the flight.
Okay.
We don't have to.
[bed creaks]
No. It's fine.
‘It's fine?’
No. I--[laughs]
- I just mean it’s our-- - ‘No, it's fine!’
It's our honeymoon.
Oh, ‘it's our honeymoon!’
I've heard that before.
Hey! You cannot say that.
I just did. ‘It’s our honeymoon.’
It is.
Really.
[wedding video plays on phone]
[Wedding Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, put your
hands together for our bride and groom, Teresa and Drew!
[cheering]
[Drew] Teresa and I, we're so grateful
for all of you, for coming out
to celebrate us.
[Wedding Announcer] And now, Drew has a little surprise
for his bride, Teresa.
[crowd cheers]
[Drew strums guitar, sings] ♪ A love melody... ♪
♪ sings to me ♪
♪ In your eyes, a symphony ♪
♪ Hold me close to you ♪
♪ underneath the starry beams ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ In lovers’ dreams ♪
♪ somber music ♪
[waves crash]
Dispatches from Paradise.
[Drew grunts, punches]
[phone, repeating] Dispatches from Paradise.
Good morning.
Breakfast?
Uh, no, I don't--I want to get back to my wedding weight.
I was actually thinking of trying intermittent fasting.
- Oh, cool. - But there's coffee.
Oh. Thank you.
I want to be in my body and be close to nature.
[Drew] Awesome.
Like moving at the speed of nature.
[coffee pours, Drew whistles]
Hey.
Do you want to fast with me?
Like on our honeymoon?
I feel like it's the perfect time to, like, reset.
It’s only in the mornings.
It's intermittent.
Oh, but I work out in the mornings, and
I think if I skipped breakfast,
that might be a little tough for me.
Fine.
We'll eat breakfast.
♪ quirky music ♪
- Weird. - What?
Jason just liked that picture of us.
- Jason? - Jason Nichols.
He commented too.
He said, ‘Great picture, Teresa.’
Just ‘Teresa.’
That guy is so nice. I remember him.
[obnoxious slurping]
[Waitress] Hi, are you thinking something to eat?
Yes, yes, I will have the
Breakfast Traditional, please.
Teresa?
Uno mas piña colada por favor.
And to eat?
I’m fasting.
Como se dice ‘fasting?’
How's your day going so far?
[Waitress] It's a beautiful day.
- Just like every day. - You are so lucky
to live here--
It's our honeymoon.
Congratulations.
Yeah, well, it's a delayed honeymoon.
Yeah.
One year I've been married to this one.
Isn’t he handsome?
He is very handsome.
Thank you.
He’s a handsome golden boy.
Even my mom has a crush on him.
And she doesn't even really like me that much.
[laughs]
Actually, on the plane ride over here
he saved a man's life. Yeah.
A man who may or may not have been having
a little reaction to my keto bar.
We don't know for sure.
We were on the plane, and this guy's like
‘My throat's closing up.’
And Drew was like, Gimme that EpiPen.’
And then he stabs the man.
And the man was saved.
The man lives because of Drew!
[clapping loudly]
And then everybody was staring at me
with eyeball daggers, because I'm the bitch who opened
up the nut bar, which again, we don't even know
if there were actually peanut traces in there.
But after the entire plane has practically applauded him
and given him the Medal of Honor
he decides to say that it is our keto bar.
He takes the blame.
Are you okay?
What? I’m telling a funny story.
Everybody's laughing.
He took the blame for our keto bar.
[Drew, whispering] I’m sorry.
[bird calls]
[angry footsteps]
[water splashes]
- What’s wrong? - Nothing.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I feel like you're mad at me.
I'm not mad.
Am I allowed to be feeling something other than jovial?
I mean, this is going to be a week-long vacation,
and I'm allowed to be feeling something other than happy.
In fact, right now I'm relaxed.
I'm relaxing.
Okay, good. Good.
What happened on the plane does sound obnoxious.
Yeah, it was.
Sorry.
- Don't apologize. - No, I shouldn't have snapped.
Is there anything that I can do to make it right?
No, no.
You're good.
You're so--
[laughing]
That's a good one.
What are you laughing at?
Your hat!
Your ironic fisherman hat.
Are you not wearing that hat to make me laugh?
[laughing]
[crying]
I see what you're saying.
I shouldn't have tried to take credit
for the keto bar.
Okay, but even that, even saying that, like,
can you just try not to be so good for once?
Does that make sense?
I mean, we've been married a year now.
Are we different?
Do you feel different?
We just got married.
We're still the same people. Taxes are different.
- Like when you're talking about Alan--
- Jason.
Yes. Jason. Okay.
A lot of guys would be weirded out by that.
I'm not going to put that on you.
That is weird to me.
I'm saying if we were to look back, would we be like
yes, we lived all out.
We lived full lives. Does that make sense?
It does. And...
... I will try.
I want to try.
I just hear ‘honeymoon’ and suddenly I feel
like, this weight.
Like, suddenly, like, this needs to be
like, the best week of our lives.
Like an adventure.
Yes! Yes, like an adventure!
- Yeah? - Yeah.
We're on the most adventurous vacation of our
entire friend group.
[Teresa sighs]
I don't know. I'm confused.
And it's a lot of pressure.
No, no, no, no, there's no pressure, okay?
There's no pressure.
It's just our honeymoon.
But there is a lot of pressure.
Oh my God.
Come here.
I do feel seen by you.
I do, I do.
I see you. Like, I see you.
And I see you seeing me. I do. I see you seeing me, I do.
I really love it when you tell me these things.
I really do.
Okay, that can sometimes be hard for me.
I feel really, really good.
I do. Just to be able to talk, you know?
[Paz] Good morning!
- [Paz] I told you my friends always come through.
Are y'all getting hungry?
Brunch is just about ready.
‘Honeymoon package.’
- We’re fasting-- - Do you want to join us?
Yeah, I do.
[birds chirping]
[Paz] When I got here, I was like,
I need to be by the jungle always.
But I need to be by the ocean too.
And I feel like here on Bocas I get the best of both worlds.
- You can have it all. - If you have balance.
That really, really resonates with me.
I knew I needed something for me
outside of work, outside of the rise-and-grind culture.
And so I was like,
‘I’m taking back Mondays.’
But like, what does that mean actually, right?
And so I was like, okay,
Sunday scaries, no sleep,
Monday fog, caffeine fix.
So I decided to make my morning coffee
a practice of self-care.
Skip the Blue Bottle, brew at home.
I started doing it every day and I realized
I do have the discipline. And I got control over myself.
And I think it was that mental obstacle, that
hurdle of doing it every day that changed my life forever.
Yeah, that is balance.
Yeah.
How about you? How do you find balance?
Oh, I work out in the mornings.
I'm a podcast engineer, and it's a lot of sitting.
Working out helps me focus and stay balanced.
You're in your head right now.
[rustling]
Take this.
A rock.
It's not just a rock. It's a special rock.
So whenever you have anxiety or something's coming up
you can hold it or play with it or whatever you want.
But I used to have the same thing, so I get it.
Well, I, uh... I don't want to take your special rock.
No, it's your rock now.
Seriously.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go get myself a new rock.
[chair creaks]
Okay, listen.
Remember when we were talking about trying
something new for our adventure?
Okay? Hear me out.
Don't react until I finish.
Okay.
What if we seduced Paz?
♪
- The rental host? - Mm-hm.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I mean, we're both clearly attracted to them,
and, like, there's a connection.
I mean, this is our honeymoon, right?
And it's a safe space to do it.
And, you know, we didn't anticipate it,
which I think is really good.
Yeah.
I mean, it sounds like a lot.
Yeah, but--okay,
don't you want to jumpstart things
and, like, reset things?
I mean, we're setting the table for the
rest of our lives,
and I--we want an adventure.
Okay, okay.
To be clear, you're saying you just want to have
a threesome here,
and we're not opening our relationship?
Yeah, a threesome.
But, if you and Paz wanted to have your own experience,
I'd support that.
Like, I think that would be beautiful.
A threesome? For us?
Yeah, for us.
You know,
I don’t--I don’t-- I don’t know--
Gotta have your rock.
I don’t think so.
Hey, that was an awesome meal.
- Oh, oh, yeah. For sure. - This was really great.
Ah, nope, nope, nope, nope.
I got this. We're going to clean up.
You've been amazing.
We're going to write a great review.
Oh, and the rock too.
- [Paz] Oh, right on. - And you rock!
Thank you. Yeah. All right. Right on.
Well, if you need me,
I'm just up the beach.
Great. Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Paz!
Yeah. What's up?
Can we pay you to show us a good time?
I mean, like a good time--
Like a good time around the islands?
Because we were going to be here for
3 or 4 days. We just want an--
We want an adventure around the islands.
Just like a tour guide.
[Drew] Yeah, only a tour guide.
You don't have to put us to bed or anything or, like
babysit us, you know?
But, uh... shows that I'm compromising and I'm open.
Yeah.
For sure. No. We could-- I'm totally down
We can go to Paki Point and there's the mangroves.
I can take you guys to Secret Island.
Secret Island?
[Paz] Yeah!
It's this island no one really knows about.
And it's fucking sick.
Great.
♪ upbeat music ♪
♪
[Paz] So the owner was like, ‘Hey, Paz!
why don't you just keep an eye on things?
I'll pay you.’
So it kind of just worked out.
Sometimes things just... work out!
Yeah, sometimes things just work out.
Like how we met. On Craigslist.
I was selling my Nana's lamp.
Didn't really fit in my place--
You would sell your grandma's lamp?
Well,
I was leaning into a more Japanese aesthetic.
And Nana was more of a maximalist.
[slurp]
Teresa answered the ad.
And, a lot of people were low balling me.
And then she comes in and
she offers me the lowest number, right?
And I couldn't say no because she's a good negotiator.
Cool!
Let's go for a swim?
Yeah!
[chair creaks]
[waves crash]
Yeah, it’s magical.
I mean, there's, like, fireflies everywhere.
And, um... I don’t know why
people shit all over the Midwest. It’s the best.
I’m trying to remember why I was there...
My cousin lover.
But it was winter, so there were no lightning bugs.
Your cousin lover?
Yeah.
My cousin Sammi. At the time, we were dating.
You were dating your cousin?
Yeah.
Like second cousin?
No, first.
It's very common for cousins to marry and have children.
It's actually a Western constructed taboo
that's pretty damaging to a normal
and acceptable practice.
Super western.
♪ “Back To The Wall” playing ♪
[kids laugh, kick football]
[Paz] Hola Armodio! Qué tál?
[Armodio] Hey!
- [Armodio] Cómo estás? - [Paz] Bien, bien.
- [Teresa] Hola! - [Drew] Hola.
Teresa.
Drew. Armodio.
How you doing?
Muy bien.
I mean, wow, this is Secret Island? Wow.
Oh, no.
No, this isn’t Secret Island.
No, I got to get to know you a little
better before we go to Secret Island.
[kids laugh, kick football]
[Teresa] Ooh, tough luck!
Woo! Come on, babe!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Wow, babe!
[Teresa] Paz, I thought you said you played soccer!
[Paz] Oh, c’mon! Give me a minute!
[cicadas hum]
[Teresa] Okay, if I were a fruit, what would I be?
[laughs] A coconut.
Okay, what would Drew be?
Um...
Are you saying I'm round?
No! No, coconuts are sweet!
[Teresa] Where'd you get that?
[Paz] Oh, yeah. My dad gave it to me.
It’s an Albanian eagle. Dads usually give it to their sons,
but my dad gave it to me. not my brothers.
[Teresa] Why? Because you're his favorite?
[Paz] Probably.
Watch your step.
- Thanks. - I got you.
[Teresa] Yeah, we're still waiting on the bags from
from Houston, but, it’s actually pretty liberating.
Who needs more than one outfit? Right? I mean...
Who needs clothes at all? [laughs]
[Paz] Yeah, I only have two shirts.
How'd you choose your name, by the way?
‘Paz’?
It means ‘peace.’
So you just woke up one day and decided you wanted
to be named ‘Peace’?
That's exactly what happened!
Okay, well, if you can change your name, I can too.
You can! You can change it right now.
Okay.
my name is Coco.
Because of the coconuts?
No.
[Teresa] We’re moving at the speed of nature around here.
Oh my god.
[kitten mews]
Oh my god!
[footsteps approach]
Here you go.
- Thanks. - Yeah. For sure.
So, what kind of podcasts do you work on?
Conversation, mostly.
True crime,
pop culture, sports.
Right on. You like true crime?
Not really. No.
Do you?
Fuck no!
I used to be in music.
No bills are paid that way.
But the skills carry over into podcasting.
Right.
And I do get to play a little bit with the
true crime stuff, like,
I'll add creepy music
and mess with the levels.
I don't think they notice though.
Probably not.
On other shows, the hosts are like
semi-famous people acting like they're saying
something important to build their brands
so they don't have to podcast anymore.
Oh, fuck.
That's depressing.
So you play an instrument?
[Teresa] You guys, look!
It's so cute.
[kids laugh]
[speaking Spanish]
What are they saying?
That cat’s got scabies.
Oh my god.
♪ “Coconut Water” playing ♪
[Paz] No, Teresa. Cat scabies.
They don't bite humans.
[Drew] God, I love that woman.
[Paz laughs]
They don't bite humans.
Teresa, come on.
[Teresa screams]
[Teresa] I can feel it!
Your wife is fucking crazy.
[Teresa] What the fuck?!
It's good.
[kids kick football]
[Paz] Thank you so much.
I'll see you later.
Hey guys, the boat is ready.
Need help?
You seen my hat?
Hey!
Excuse me.
That’s my hat.
That's mine.
It’s his hat now. I traded it for this.
- What? - It was a special rock
and he really wanted you to have it.
But I was like, ‘Drew’s not gonna take a rock from a kid.’
So I gave him your hat.
Besides, your wife hates the hat.
♪ calm music ♪
♪
Do you wanna join us for a drink tonight?
Of course.
- What better way to end the day?
What do you mean? We're going dancing tonight!
My Kiki! What’s up?
How are you? This is Drew.
- Hi. - Teresa, this is my Kiki.
So nice to meet you.
[Kiki laughs]
So,‘My Kiki,’ what brought you to Bocas?
No, just ‘Kiki.’
Paz loves nicknames.
[giggling]
Tell them.
- No... - Come on, come on.
Well, I was out here for a certain reality
TV show filming on an island out here.
Yes, yes, that one.
And I was really excited.
Of course.
And, I mean, it's super competitive to even get on,
so I didn't care if they cast me as the villain.
I was just so ready.
And, um...
It’s okay.
I was voted off the first night.
Oh, yikes.
It's okay.
You put yourself out there, and I think that is so big.
Thanks babe.
So big.
[Paz] And I love that you're someone who would do that.
[Kiki] I appreciate that. It’s just--
I don't know if Paz understands completely
because I don't know if you've even seen a reality TV show.
I haven't.
Not once.
What?
Well, the only thing worse than being the villain is
being the one no one remembers.
So I decided to stay in town to decompress
and wallow a bit, and
Paz found me at Coquitos
drowning my sorrows.
[Drew] I still think that is just so cool.
I would love to be on a show like that.
[Kiki] You should! Right?
I mean, you've got the strength. Obviously.
And the social game, which is pretty much most of it.
I'm gonna re-up.
My drink. Does anybody want another drink?
Oh no, I'm still working on mine.
Thanks, though.
Thank you.
So what brings you guys to the island?
- I'm gonna be right back. - Okay. Yeah.
[Drew] It is our honeymoon.
- Your honeymoon? - Yeah.
Oh my gosh!
Congratulations!
The happy couple!
Yes. I have questions.
Oh, please fire away.
[knife cuts]
You like-a da sour?
Ew!
I like-a da sour.
How long have you and ‘My Kiki’ been together?
Oh, we're not together.
We just enjoy each other's company.
Okay, I figured, which is fine, obviously.
Why wouldn't it be fine?
I don't blame you for staying.
This place is so beautiful.
I mean, it is. It really is.
I mean, it's amazing.
But I didn't stay here for the island.
I stayed here for buried treasure.
- What? - Yeah!
Yeah. No.
I'm serious.
There's buried treasure all over this island.
Here, try this.
[lime squishes]
You're going to spit it out. You like it?
Okay. I don't. Disgusting!
[Kiki laughs]
All right. Let's dance.
♪ “Coquitos” playing ♪
♪ ♪
[Kiki] The history and the adventure and the exploring!
- It's just-- - Incredible.
Yes!
Guess what?
We're going to the Secret Island tomorrow.
[Teresa] What’s that! Oh my God!
I don't like things that crawl!
[Paz] Look, it won't do anything. It's just a crab.
[Kiki] Oh, I love this song!
Oh, hey, drinks on me.
Okay. Paz and Kiki, they’re just friends.
Very friendly friends.
What about Kiki?
I don't know. What about Kiki?
Come on. You know.
Oh, no. No. Okay.
No! Come on, I was open to Paz
because you're attracted to them.
Why don't you just be open to Kiki?
Oh, I don't know, Drew. It's--I don't know.
The energy is not there.
I found a connection with Paz.
Okay? Took a beat.
But we're on vacation.
Like, this is a safe space for us to explore together.
Don’t laugh! You know you want to!
[Drew] Our adventure. Okay.
Okay, fine. Maybe.
[crowd whoops]
Paz said they're going to pick us up tomorrow
morning and take us to breakfast on the ocean.
I mean, do you feel that chemistry with Paz?
Because I see it between you two.
I mean, it is electric.
It's like we're alive.
And Secret Island is clearly where they go to fool around.
You saw the look on Kiki's face when Paz said that.
What do you think it's going to be like with Paz?
Are you mad about Kiki?
When we go to Secret Island
it's going to be like this.
[kissing]
And this.
You’re going to do this to both
me and Paz at the same time?
Yes.
[kissing]
And this...
[Teresa moans]
And this...
[moaning continues]
[quiet birds]
[blowing breath]
You're awake.
What time is it?
I have no idea.
Hey, what if we didn't sleep with Paz?
- What? - Yeah.
I just feel like I sort of forced you into it, and...
I don’t know.
Let’s just stick to the plan.
For us.
Our adventure.
Right, right.
Okay, I'm going to go make coffee.
Big day.
Secret Island.
[wind blows, palms creak]
[footsteps]
[waves build]
[Teresa sighs]
[Drew] How is it?
It's good.
Come in!
[wind blows]
Who’s ready for Secret Island?
[Teresa] Oh, we are!
[Drew] Yes.
No way.
I told you I got you.
You didn't have to do this.
No, I did, and it is a Panama hat,
they’re just made in Ecuador.
It's a common misconception.
Oh, you look so cute.
Okay, so I have a picnic packed up here,
a special picnic.
We have some arts and crafts.
I love arts and crafts! And a lot of water.
Love water.
And the thing about Secret Island, when we get there,
we're going to have to--
Oh my God.
What's wrong?
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
[Paz] Did you get bit?
No, nothing. It’s fine. Fuck!
No no it’s-- [breathing heavily]
No, it’s fine, it’s fine!
[Drew] What it is, what happened?
My ring!
I had it on on the porch and it was on my finger
and then I came out here to the ocean
and then I stuck my hands down in the ground
because I was grounding myself!
[Drew] It might be buried. Just dig. Just dig!
You’re sure it was right here?
[Teresa] Yes! Oh I was so stupid!
That was so stupid!
What do we do?
[Paz] It’s okay, it’s okay!
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
No. I’m not good.
Don't say that.
I’m not.
I love you so much.
I’m not good.
No, don’t say that.
It’s going to be okay.
I know.
Guys.
I’m so sorry.
[loud breath]
The last metal detector
on the island went missing
six years ago.
I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.
Fuck.
Is there anything I can do for you?
♪ tender music ♪
We should go inside.
Yeah.
♪
[Paz] You've been trying to seduce me this whole time.
No...
No!
[laughing]
Okay, well, yes.
That's fine.
We have a connection.
You know what would make this even better?
What?
Breakfast in bed.
Hey, we’ll help.
[Drew] No, I got it. Yeah.
♪ “Qué Rico” playing ♪
I feel so present.
Like, so in my body. [Paz] Yeah. That's good.
I've been trying to be, like, more in my body and just
more in myself in general
Like, for example, in my morning routine,
I wake up, I do my morning pages,
I write three things I’m grateful for, three things
I wish I can improve upon, and three intentions
I have for the day.
I just find if I’m not staying grateful
I end up being in this really negative headspace
which just sort of accelerates me to be more in my body.
Whoa.
[laughing]
So you do all that so you can be present?
Yeah, yeah.
All the time.
♪
I want you to be present with me.
I don't think I could do that.
May I?
What do you feel?
♪ tender music ♪
I feel your hands.
What do you see?
I see your eyes.
♪
How do you feel?
I feel safe.
You’ll find you’ll surprise yourself
when you quiet yourself.
♪
[Drew] Breakfast on the upper deck!
Man, I am so full.
But I can't stop eating.
I love your pancakes, Drew.
I’m really good at making pancakes.
Should we do a check in?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Yeah, well, I can go first.
So we just engaged in an intimate
experience together,
and I feel very good about it.
[mouth full]
Well, I feel good.
I feel really good.
I'm surprised at how good I feel.
And um...
I feel more connected with you.
So thank you, Paz.
That make me really happy to hear.
Teresa?
Oh um... I feel... like I have to pee.
[plate clatters]
[footsteps]
[faucet turns on]
[sink drips]
[low droning]
[drone builds]
Are you happy now?
Life is...
moving.
[low wooshing]
At the speed of nature.
[low wooshing]
What’s in the pancakes?
I am...
happy.
I'm really, really happy.
Good.
Flour...
Sugar...
Eggs...
Milk...
Chocolate.
Chocolate?
From your bag.
That's not chocolate chocolate.
It’s not chocolate- chocolate?
It's magic chocolate.
♪
Oh my God!
The gap in the teeth leads to the heart!
It’s all a map!
Albert Einstein’s second wife Elsa was his first cousin.
Oh my God!
Their mothers were sisters and their fathers
were first cousins.
Oh my God!
Can you imagine how hard it must be to balance
mother in laws who are also sisters?
On top of maintaining his relationship with Elsa?
I love my husband.
I love his jokes.
They're funny.
They are funny.
You know what?
What?
I have to love people right where they are.
You got to love people right where they are, Drew.
I’ve got your back!
♪ “Lightest Light” playing ♪
I'm so happy.
I’m so happy!
[laughing]
Oh, shit!
I drugged us!
I drugged us on accident!
[laughing continues]
[Teresa] Woah...
♪ Take yourself into ♪
♪ the unknown ♪
♪ Take yourself into ♪
[Paz] Guys...
[Teresa] Woah!
[Paz] Let me see it.
[Paz] Oh fuck.
[Paz] Oh fuck!
[Paz laughs]
[Drew] That’s awesome.
[Paz] Jeez!
This is, like, the best thing I've ever eaten.
What are the plans for tonight?
I need to dance.
Oh you know what? I need to dance, too.
Let's dance.
I'm going to meet up with some friends,
but y'all should definitely have some fun.
Oh, yeah.
Good. Yeah. That's great, actually.
I've been wanting some solo time with you.
Yeah. That's good. That's a good idea.
All right, well,
if you need me, you know where I live.
Right down the beach.
[Paz laughs]
[Paz] Alright...
Bye!
[Paz] Bye!
[Teresa] They’re so funny.
This’ll be nice.
♪ gentle music ♪
[Teresa] No, I am glad we chose here.
[Drew] Yeah, it’s been so...
You okay?
Yeah.
[Teresa] Woah! What the fuck was that?
[Drew] It's just a crab.
It’s a crab--it’s okay!
[Teresa, screaming] Run away!
The thing is, I feel like if I'm moving,
then things can't bite me.
Does that make sense?
So I just feel like we need to go dancing.
Yeah. Let's just--
Let's go dancing.
[Drew’s stomach growls]
Mmm.
Are you okay?
Mhm.
Ugh.
Drew?
[Teresa] Are you sure you’re okay?
Yes. You go without me.
Don’t deny your dancing mood.
[laughing] Okay.
I'll be dancing here in bed.
Good night.
♪ “Bailando” playing ♪
[glasses clink, patrons talk]
Um, hola.
[Bartender] Hi!
Un tequila y soda por favor.
[Bartender] Tequila soda.
Yes.
Con lime.
[Bartender] Right now.
¿Hola John, qué tál?
[Bartender] Hey, Kiki. Hola. ¿Cómo estás?
Bien. ¿Y tú?
[Bartender] Excelente.
[Kiki] Love that.
Hi.
How was your day?
Oh, it was, it was great. Thanks. Yeah.
That’s great.
Do you hate yourself?
No. I don't hate myself.
What kind of question is that?
Oh. Right.
I'm just wondering.
I was just wondering. [laughing]
You see, I was on this reality TV show.
Yes, I know.
Right.
Sorry.
I just figure you
have to hate yourself
to put yourself on a show like that.
But at least now I know
I hate myself, and I'm working on it.
And I think someday I will like myself.
That's great, Kiki, that you're doing all that work.
but I like myself, so...
I don't really think that pertains to me.
That's good.
[bag unzips]
Pepto. Thank you God.
You know, I saw you guys earlier.
You and Paz and Drew.
Oh.
Yeah.
But that’s okay.
I mean, I'm super used to it by now.
That’s kind of Paz’s thing.
You know? Sleeping with couples here on vacation.
And it's funny because they all think it's like
this magical, unique thing, but it's not.
Being with Paz alone though, that's different.
That's special.
They let very few people in.
One on one. Like that.
[lantern rattles]
Um...
Okay, thank you.
I have to go.
Okay. Do you, um...
[waves crash]
“I can have my own experience.”
I don’t hate myself.
Paz.
Oh, sorry.
[boat rattles]
Paz?
Hey.
How was your night?
Yo!
I was just packing so we could go first thing.
Oh, great. Awesome.
Do you want to have a beer?
Is it cold?
[distant thunder]
[thunder continues]
You're quiet.
I just feel at ease when I'm around you.
So you like me?
[thunder fades]
I'm sorry.
Teresa's just in my head,
and I can't stop thinking...
I thought that
I was standing on something solid.
But now I think that I'm
the only one that felt that.
She said that she wanted us
to have our own experience.
You and me.
♪ tender music ♪
[broken light flickers]
[mosquito buzzes]
[door creaks]
I know you think I'm crazy
but I'm not.
[door rattles loudly]
This door’s jammed.
[rattling continues]
You have fun?
It was really, really fun.
I missed you.
How are you feeling?
Much better.
- Hey, listen-- - I want you so bad right now.
I miss our one-on-ones.
Ugh. Tequila breath.
Sorry, babe.
You’re a little tipsy.
You know what?
I'm really tired.
[distant guitar playing]
[Drew strums guitar]
Sorry.
No. Keep playing.
No, I was just messing around.
Are you ready for Secret Island?
How was the bar?
Oh, it was really, really fun.
Yeah.
I love hanging with that crew.
Paz is such a funny dancer.
Paz was there?
That's weird.
Why is it weird?
Paz was here getting the boat ready for today.
Okay.
And, I saw them, and I went down there
and then
we had our own experience.
You and Paz?
Yeah.
You and Paz hooked up?
Yeah.
Yeah, like you wanted.
It was...
I was open and it was awesome.
Wow.
That’s okay, right?
Because you told me you wanted me to--
Yeah.
Yeah. Of course.
[Paz] Yo!
♪ tense music ♪
Okay, here we are, at private beach
or whatever it’s called.
There is the ocean.
And here is Paz.
And there’s Drew.
Drew!
Drew.
Give us a smile!
Okay.
That is going to have to be good enough.
Hey, Teresa, are you upset?
No, no.
Why would I be upset?
Because Drew and I had our own experience last night.
Which you said was okay.
And you may have mixed feelings about it,
which is totally fine.
Okay, cool. Well, yeah.
I mean
maybe I did say something along those lines and
it is fine.
So, sorry if I’m a bit wound up.
I guess some of us had a certain sort of
release last night
and some of us didn’t.
If you were to take a scientific poll of
who is the most relaxed on the island,
it’s not going to be me.
That’s fine.
I'm sort of over here. You're sort of over there.
We’re the Three Musketeers.
If one of the Musketeers had been, like,
kicked out of the group
and asked back to some sort of weird reunion tour.
But no.
I'm good.
[Drew] Hey, are you hungry?
[Teresa] No. I’m not hungry.
I’m fasting.
Okay, you two need to figure this out.
Can you just give us a second?
What the hell? Teresa?
Just talk to me.
There’s nothing to talk about.
Well, I'm confused because you said that
you wanted this.
that’s exactly what you said--
I don't mean every single thing that I say.
How am I supposed to know that?
I would never do anything to hurt you.
I would never--
[boat engine starts]
Hey!
Where are you going?
You two need to figure this out!
You're going to just leave us here?
[boat engine fades]
Great.
Fucking great.
What?
I did something?
Yeah. Literally.
Paz left us stranded here because we’re so
fucking awkward to be around.
I just think it's funny.
I just think it's funny that this entire week,
I've been the bad guy for wanting to do
something with Paz.
I never said that you were the bad guy
for wanting us to do something with Paz.
Then meanwhile, la-de-fucking-da, you and Paz!
This was your idea!
You said I would love for you
to have your own experience with Paz!
I think it would be beautiful--
Oh, okay, Mr. “This Is For Us!”
That is the only reason why I agreed
to do the threesome.
God forbid I want anything outside of this.
You know what? You didn't want this for us.
You wanted it for you, and now you're pissed off
because Paz and I have a connection.
The three of us weren't enough for you.
You just wanted your own thing.
You know what?
All this little playing pretend that we're doing?
It’s so blah.
It makes me sick.
This whole thing makes me sick.
And honestly, Drew?
I feel bad for you.
You just want everyone to love you.
Is that why you're bending over backwards for Paz
for the boat driver
for the guy in the aisle seat?
Everyone?
Why do you make me feel this way?
You made me feel bad for just existing.
Apparently, there's something inherently
wrong with me that you see
and nobody else in the world sees.
Like
I'm really sorry
that people actually think I'm a good person.
Maybe there's something wrong with you, Teresa.
You know what?
You're not the only person who thinks that about me.
Oh, guess who else thinks that about me?
I think that about me.
But at least I do the work
to be okay with being a complicated person,
Keto fasting’s not doing the work.
The videos, it’s not work.
And the threesome’s not doing the work.
Okay, well, why don't you tell yourself
whatever little story makes you happy, right?
Like, how about our story, our little meet cute?
Oh, I texted her and I waited a whole week,
and then she got back to me right away. Right?
I didn't even save your number.
I was just drunk and horny on a shitty date
so I thought,
yeah, why not hook up with a rando
who I literally don't remember?
And I show up and it's the lamp guy.
Yeah, I referred to you as the lamp guy
to my friends for weeks,
and you just kept hanging around,
so I thought, sure, I'll fuck you.
Sure I'll date you. Sure I'll marry you.
Which was so dumb because three years
later, I still can't fucking stand you!
And I'm sorry.
You're right.
I, for whatever reason, for whatever reason
that I cannot explain,
I cannot figure out a way to love you.
What is wrong with me?
That I cannot figure out a way to love you
when the rest of the fucking world can?
[branches snap]
Drew, what are you doing?
Building a shelter.
Oh, my God.
We're stranded on an island called Secret Island.
Who knows how long we’ll be here?
Okay, well, let me help you.
I don't want your help.
I don’t want your stick!
[branches break loudly]
Drew.
Drew!
Don’t talk to me.
Drew.
Don't talk to me.
I have nothing to say to you.
Drew!
Our boat is here.
[boat motor rumbles]
So, how's your day going?
[boat motor idles]
Un momento, por favor.
Dinero inside.
Gracias señor.
Mi esposo
Como se dice, umm...
Tips well.
[suitcases rattle]
How good does a piña colada sound right now?
Drew, can we talk about this?
I'm sorry.
My lawyer will be in touch.
Are you seriously divorcing me right now?
Yes.
[boat motor roars]
♪ “I Wanna Go Back” playing ♪
♪ I wanna go back ♪
♪ I wandered ♪
♪ free as the night ♪
♪ And you kissed me hard ♪
Can we stop at Bibi’s?
♪ You tasted like gin, you tasted like life ♪
[distant voices]
[Paz] I'll be right back.
About earlier.
No, no, no, no need to apologize.
It's okay.
Teresa and I are done.
[chuckles]
Oh, fuck. Okay.
And I just wanted to come check on you.
I know it was a lot.
You just broke up with Teresa.
You’re coming to check on me?
Yeah. Yeah!
Drew, I’m okay.
Okay, right.
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
♪ somber music ♪
♪
♪ “It’s Okay” playing ♪
♪ They never believe when you say ♪
♪ you’ve seen the darkness in another ♪
♪ Never wanted it this way ♪
♪ but it’s hard to undiscover ♪
♪ and I know it’s alive ♪
♪ and it’s okay ♪
♪ eyes are focused on the clock ♪
♪ dream fade away ♪
♪ cuz it’s alive ♪
♪ and it’s okay ♪
♪ “Let You Go” playing ♪
♪ Paradise... you told me it would be nice ♪
♪ But we’ve paid the price ♪
♪ Here in paradise ♪
♪ Heartbreak in the end ♪
♪ Fighting here and there ♪
♪ We can patch these wounds ♪
♪ It all feels too soon ♪
♪ Oh, it’s time to let you go ♪
♪ These ebbing tides you know I’m right ♪
♪ I have to be free ♪
♪ This gentle breeze ♪
♪ I hear it whispering ♪
♪ Oh, it’s time to let you go ♪
♪ These ebbing tides, you know I’m right ♪
♪ I have to be free ♪
♪ This gentle breeze ♪
♪ I hear it whispering ♪
♪ Let you go ♪
♪ When I look at you I don’t know what to do ♪
♪ But my heart senses truth ♪
♪ I’m not ready to let you go ♪
♪ That I know ♪
♪ Oh, it’s time to let you go ♪
♪ These ebbing tides, you know I’m right ♪
♪ I have to be free ♪
♪ This gentle breeze ♪
♪ I hear it whispering ♪
♪ Oh, it’s time to let you go ♪
♪ These ebbing tides, you know I’m right ♪
♪ I have to be free ♪
♪ This gentle breeze ♪
♪ I hear it whispering ♪
♪