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You're dancing, aren't you?
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Smile.
She's dancing!
Are you dancing?
Larissa!
Do you see that girl in pink,
standing in the corner at a birthday party?
Her name is Larissa.
Here, in April of '94,
when everyone on our street was talking about the World Cup,
she was celebrating her first year of life.
When she was born,
on March 30th of the previous year,
nobody knew that the Larissa,
dancing in front of the speakers,
would become Anitta, the biggest pop star in Brazil's history.
Anitta, I love you!
You really couldn't tell.
After all, at that time,
Larissa was just a girl from Honório Gurgel.
A place far different
from the Rio of Bossa Nova and "The Girl from Ipanema",
that would become known to the world precisely because of her.
She would take funk and the favela to the world's most important venues.
Now, if you pay a little more attention…
you'll see that this girl right here, the girl from Honório,
was already different.
It was a children's party, full of people,
but she was by herself.
As if she was dancing, but at the same time, seeing everything from the outside.
Split in two.
She didn't know Brazil would end up winning that World Cup,
nor that she would end up actually splitting in two,
and eventually that giant Anitta,
at some point, would come to miss being in the corners of such parties.
Both the corners of parties and the corners of herself.
Because all that would remain of that Little Red Riding Hood-themed party
was the power of the speakers.
Anitta is number one…
The singer has made history in the world's most important music festival…
When I started, you couldn't play funk on the radio.
I had to change my songs so they would sound like pop.
Anitta has won yet another award.
She's on an intense tour. She's been to many cities,
done so many concerts.
From the outskirts of Rio to the world…
When Larissa called me and invited me to be a part of this film,
I admit I felt kind of lost.
I didn't quite understand what was going on.
I mean, she's Anitta now, right?
She can get whoever she wants to film her.
Why me?
But when she explained it, I think I understood why.
You'll be with me filming the whole thing.
When Anitta is working, as well as Larissa in private, too.
It's Anitta!
Anyone can film…
Actually, I think everybody has done it.
But Larissa…
not Larissa.
Because I need someone very discreet.
Larissa is a very well-kept secret that nearly no one has access to,
and only appears for those she really trusts,
those who have been with her since the beginning.
We can start whenever you want as far as I'm concerned.
Whenever you want, I'll be getting started.
Actually,
I think I'm here because this confusion between Larissa and Anitta,
creature and creator,
was still not sorted out in her head.
The work of the star from Honório Gurgel has been acknowledged,
as she received the award for best Latin American Music Video at the VMAs,
the award show hosted by American MTV.
I think she understood that my perspective
and the fact that we come from the same place could be useful in this process.
It made sense that she called me to film her.
But I sort of panicked right before we began. Kind of obvious, right?
After all, Larissa, the first girl I ever had a crush on,
was now queen of the world.
And she might not know,
but also queen of the most poorly resolved love of my life.
That message I sent and deleted…
I was asking if you were going to sleep over there.
To ask you if you wanted to come over here.
Because I write something like that, and then I'm like, "thank you!"
My God, that's the last time I'll ever say something cute to you.
Oh no, here I go again, annoying you.
I was like, "Fuck it. I'll just send it. I don't care."
I don't care if you feel smothered. Fuck it.
Hi. I'm angry at you. But I can't be, can I? Stop worrying.
Because I love you.
-Is he going to film us? -We… yes.
Hold it right here. This is how you focus, here.
Oh my God.
I was filming her for the first time, from the back of the stage.
That is so different from what I was used to.
My closeness was always to Larissa.
Come on in.
Oh, my bad.
I realize I haven't introduced myself.
My name is Pedro and I'm also from Honório.
And little by little, I started understanding
when Larissa leaves the stage and Anitta enters the scene.
Like this.
I'm back.
Whether you want it or not.
When she invited me to be in this movie,
I think she wanted a witness of who she was before Anitta.
I said yes 'cause I realized she wanted to talk about that,
about that crazy split.
And I knew that, having known her back then,
I was one of the few people who could explain that.
I know the love I feel for her has nothing to do with this film.
But I thought,
maybe I'll have the courage this time…
to tell her everything I've been feeling all these years,
watching her from afar.
Making a movie brings people closer, you know?
I'm glad you're back.
Me too. I'm glad I'm back.
Is there still anything between us?
Will she think this totally regular guy is interesting,
having hung out with all those mega-famous people?
Will I be able to film her professionally, without getting things mixed up?
Do you feel better being together?
I guess. Why?
Nothing.
Or worse--
That's great.
Is she still herself?
Will I be able to be myself?
Of course I didn't tell her any of that,
but it was what I was thinking when we walked into this hotel room.
Should I put it on?
I remember she liked to say my name, because it was her grandfather's name.5
He was also a musician.
And he was the person who introduced her to the world of music.
Pedro! Pedro! Where's Pedro? Pedro! Pedro! Pedro!
It's like I've been away for a long time.
You were away for a long time!
For me, it never went away.
Me, Anitta, Larissa, and my camera, you know?
A camera that came here to see a person,
but suddenly found itself before two.
Two amazing women,
who unbelievably have opened this door to me
and now to you.
You're not dating anyone?
No. You think I'm dating someone?
-I do. -Why?
I just think you are.
I think you are, and you're telling me not 'cause…
it's all in the name of art.
I saw your girlfriend on Instagram.
Did you? Who?
-The one who's there. -Who?
The one on your Instagram.
-The photo? -Mm-hmm.
We broke up about…
four months ago.
So you're single?
-I'm single. Unfortunately. -For real?
For real.
Why would I lie about that?
I don't know.
I mean, I do know.
You know what pisses me off? When you tell stories
about when we were kids, you insist on saying you were ugly.
I was horrendous!
Come on, Larissa.
I was really horrendous. In class, people--
Did your friends say that?
At the time, when I walked into the classroom,
people would pretend they were dying, 'cause of how big my nose was.
-I swear to god. -What?!
People would pretend they were suffocating to death.
What kind of classroom was that?
Back then, my father was kind of going through a shitty time with his business.
So we had to go to…
go to public school.
I loved to study. I was the biggest nerd.
I was scared of going to public school. I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck.
And then there was this pageant. I don't believe in coincidences, okay?
I think it all happened just so I could have this story to tell.
There was this "Spring Girl" pageant.
And the prize was a scholarship.
So I signed up for the pageant.
And why do I know I'm ugly? Because I became the-- Because I was ugly.
Because I became the laughingstock of the school at that time.
And the pageant had a theme,
recycling.
I got home and I said, "Mom, I signed up for this pageant
and I have to win because the prize is a scholarship."
So, my mom and I started making costumes out of coffee cups.
And when we got there, the girls were all dolled up.
Look at hers!
It's a Paco Rabanne.
Now look at mine!
So my mom said, "Larissa, come on, let's get out of here."
I said, "Mom, what do you mean?"
And she said, "No, no."
"Can't you see these people, they've hired God knows who,
and we made your costume ourselves, you and I?"
I told her, "Mom, it doesn't matter. They don't have what I have."
-She asked, "What do you have?" -And I said, "Charisma."
I entered the stage like this.
Like this.
Like that. Like that!
-I have pictures. -I can picture you doing that.
-No-- -Everything.
I have pictures.
So when it was already like, 7pm, my mom started to…
She was leaving.
She was already at the door.
And the lady announced, "And the winner is…
Larissa de Macedo Machado!"
And I just looked at my aunt and said, "Didn't I say I was going to win?"
And I strutted across the stage,
grabbed my sash, my flowers, and my scholarship.
I got to study for free.
PROUD DUCKLING KINDERGARTEN RIO, DECEMBER 14TH, 1998.
Larissa, ever since she was a toddler, she had so much personality,
as she still does.
Even as a little child, everything had to be the way she wanted,
there was no getting around that.
She's always been like that.
She'd come up with these games, like, "Let's be singers,
let's play this, let's play theater."
She was the boss, she managed it all, ever since she was little.
There!
Give me that!
We've always been very close.
If there was a birthday party, everyone would be there.
Something she always says. She says,
"We've always been happy, haven't we? With or without money."
And I say, "That's right."
For those who come from the place that we do, family is everything.
It's the foundation.
I've always valued mine a lot.
But I've never seen anything like the way Larissa does.
Hi Dad, good morning. How are you?
Dad, I dreamt you were in bed crying with back pain.
Are you okay?
-Mom! -Dad!
You're still crying?
Oh my God.
My brother knows how I think, everything I want.
It's ridiculous. I love and admire him so much.
I can't imagine my life without him.
He is the love of my life. My greatest love.
We work together.
I'm going with you tomorrow.
I couldn't see this in him, and he couldn't see it in me.
But now I can feel how much he loves me, and I think he does too.
He's, like, everything.
Oh Dad, I love you so much.
I love being with you. I love it, I love it. I'm so happy.
When I'm by your side, my life improves, my--
A rainbow appears.
You're wonderful. I love you.
Me too, darling.
I'm very happy when I'm by your side. Very happy, okay?
I love you a lot too, okay?
I'm happy that you're happy.
Larissa is also very close to her aunts.
I've seen that in Honório,
and I see it on Instagram, for example, when she travels and brings everyone.
-Portuguese. -Portuguese?
I want my family and my friends to come on stage.
And then my family comes, you've got to get the Brazilian flag.
-Super. -My friends, and then they all dance…
Or when she puts her entire family on stage.
My family is here with me.
This is one of the best days in my life. Thank you, Portugal!
To this day, I still think about how many stories Larissa has to tell.
What was it again?
When I was a child, at the mall, those Disney things, Minnie,
Mickey, Pluto.
-Disney. -But there was a line for each of them.
Yeah.
And we couldn't stand in the line for Minnie,
because it was too long.
So we went to the shortest line, which was for Pluto, for…
But there she stayed, looking, but she never said, like,
"I don't want this." She'd stay in her head and look at us,
and we'd go, "Minnie's is too long." And she was like this.
Suddenly, where was Larissa?
There was such a big crowd, and we were like, "Where's Larissa?"
I started crying right away. I said, "They kidnapped her."
She was tiny. "Calm down." And I-- I get too nervous. That's who I am.
And she was just gone. Where was Larissa?
Standing in line.
And what frightened us, was that she didn't throw a tantrum,
nor did she say, "I want to go there."
No, she just went. In her mind, she was like, "Hey, that's cool."
And she just went.
Her aunts raised her together with her mother,
because the three of them worked together.
Miriam, Márcia, and Marília.
And since Miriam and Mauro separated
when Larissa was under two, and Renan was four,
the aunts really came to her rescue.
There's even this matter with Larissa.
She thinks since her brother was older when their parents separated,
and he seemed to be in more pain than her, she felt a bit abandoned.
You know those people who don't seem to need attention,
might be the ones who need attention the most?
And when they don't get it, they get tougher and tougher?
I think that's the case.
Larissa is fragile,
and sensitive,
while Anitta is super tough.
It's even scary sometimes.
But I think both are very romantic deep down,
even if Larissa makes that more evident
while Anitta seems to be the exact opposite.
And who said you can't be everything at once?
In any case, for someone who spent their whole childhood feeling invisible,
like she always says,
I don't know,
I think it's easier to choose only one version of yourself
and later realize that both sides can…
How can I say this?
Coexist.
Like, throughout my childhood, I was invisible in my house.
My mom didn't really accept who I was.
She thought I should be less.
Less?
Stand out less, speak less,
be less flashy, less extravagant, less…
She always said that I should be just like my brother.
And my brother was always the calmer one,
more like her.
And I was more…
And I didn't want to not be…
I wanted to be…
If it weren't for my career,
if it weren't for what I have built as Anitta,
the things I have…
all the times I made…
history in my home country, in…
in the whole damn thing,
it would be like I didn't have any value.
As if there were no reason for anyone to look at me.
Because if I hadn't done all that and become Anitta…
it wouldn't… it would be like I'm irrelevant, you know?
Because that's the way it was for my whole childhood.
Hey Mom, how are you?
Remember Pedro?
My childhood friend from Honório? Blond, blue eyes, I kissed him?
He's here doing some filming with me.
I love you very much. Oh, the video was marvelous.
It was so cool.
I'm going back to Miami. I love you so much. Miss you.
Do you think birds can fly as far and as high as they want?
Is there a cap for how high a bird can fly?
There is.
What is it?
Anitta has set a new record
with her hit single "Envolver," reaching Top 1 Global on Spotify.
-Where's my mom? -She's down there.
-Can you believe that? -Mom!
Can you believe it? Neither can I. I still can't.
-I said-- -Dad!
My God!
-Very good. -My God!
-Yeah.
-That's right, honey. -Dad…
It's unreal.
-That's right. -It's unreal.
It's unbelievable.
No, it was playing, and then--
Awesome!
-Beautiful! -Yeah, it is.
-Whoa. -That's awesome!
-Hey, are we going to have those holes? -No, no.
Because since it's a square, we can't move it like this.
No, come here. Come here. I'll show you how it works.
There are cases of artists who have changed their names
and created, I don't know, other artistic personae.
But what usually happens is that one of those sides eventually
ceases to exist.
Not with her.
Seeing up close the way Larissa and Anitta exist, together…
We were in California and in Honório at the same time.
The two of them in the world's most important music festival.
-It's your first time in Coachella, right? -Yeah, I'm like…
Scared shitless.
-You're scared shitless? -I'm afraid.
At this moment,
I'm the one who's scared.
Scared of giving myself to a woman who may be more used to the big time
than to the simple life.
When you're a woman in show business…
Come on, help me put this on.
If you don't have a showbiz man,
things are a little more difficult for you.
It's also business.
Who are you going to form a couple with? Where will you show up together?
Did you get my skates?
Aren't you going to be cold wearing those clothes?
And I understood that even though I wanted that story for myself,
I'm not made for that.
Here, look.
So you won't be cold.
Here. See how much I like taking care of the people I love?
So I understood, this is how it's going to be,
when I like someone,
I'm going to be with someone who's good for me.
Whether it's the waiter,
the parking attendant,
it could be the doorman…
It doesn't matter.
We have to go all the way to the entrance.
Let's--
-It's cutting off our heads. -Can you see? I can't see.
-Yes, I can. Now I can. -Where? Can you see now?
Yes.
It's crazy.
If a man went out with a really beautiful girl from the countryside,
and the guy was rich and famous, everyone would say,
"Oh, that's so nice, isn't it?"
"Wow, he's going out with this nice girl from the countryside."
But if it's a woman who becomes involved with a regular guy
with a regular job, then,
"Wow, you should be with a guy who's at your level. He's not on your level."
It's like the man determines whether you have worth, not you.
Aren't you coming?
Aren't you coming to bed?
Yes. I'm taking a shower and then I'll sleep.
Then I'll wash you.
-What? -I'll wash you.
So you won't smell like--
Where is it? Come here.
See, just a little to get rid of this gross cigarette smell.
Okay.
Wait, I'll take care of it. Come on. Come on, come on.
Come on!
Come on.
You're covered in tattoos, aren't you?
But you never learned how to take a shower.
-Can I wash you too? -No. I know how to shower.
Oh, okay.
No, I know how to take a shower.
You're the one who doesn't.
Anitta!
Look, Anitta has arrived!
Knock, knock.
I can't!
-Anitta. -I can't be Anitta with you, dumbass!
I'll have to get drunk tonight, okay?
-Let's start drinking! -I'll start. Come on, give it to me.
-Adult entertainment then? -I'll do it!
Look, there's some Don Julio Rosado.
Whoa!
There's…
Remember when you arrived and it was just you and me?
I remember.
So we were talking a certain way, right?
Right.
Didn't you notice how I changed when the others arrived?
When those people come in
and I don't feel like showing my real self…
my personality changes.
And sometimes I ask myself, "Fuck…"
"Why am I suddenly like this?"
And I know why…
but it's not something I can control.
Why do you think that happens?
Because I'm afraid those people are going to judge me, I think.
-I'm hungry. -What's up, Anitta?
Hey, Pedro.
Hi!
-Come here, I'll tell you a secret. -Tell me. I'm filming the secret, okay?
Pedro, you look so hot when you have your camera in your hands.
Was it Anitta who said that? Or Larissa?
-Well? Answer. -I'm so mad!
Do you want to answer later?
Anitta, of course. Because I'd never say that.
-But I think it. -I want to hear about that later.
-Huh? -I want to hear about it later.
-The hurricane showed up, didn't it? -No, yes. Today you did.
The more uncomfortable I am when I'm doing something as Anitta,
the stronger Anitta comes to me, you know?
-Tonight she means business. -She comes earlier, stronger, with more…
Just out of control.
When we get home, will you hug me…
-Of course. -…if I start freaking out?
Oh, that's easy.
-You already do, even without a crisis. -Yes.
When I came in to film Larissa,
my biggest challenge was covering up what I felt for her.
Pretending I was just following the girl from my street,
who had become a pop star.
-Do you know whose purse that is? -Which one?
What purse?
Oh, that one? No, I don't know whose it is.
It was Carmen Miranda's.
Oh, wow.
"NIGHT PURSE"
I very quickly realized our intimacy hadn't changed a bit.
And that the difference was that, suddenly,
I felt like I was in a love story.
Done. Do you know what I'm about to do?
Guess.
-I can't believe this. Oh my God. -Lights off.
Is this a dream?
Don't do anything. Let me close this. Check out how dark my bedroom gets.
My God.
Do people think I'm really fucking insecure?
Do you think they'll find out now?
I think so.
I think so too.
I don't think anyone imagines that I go on stage thinking that it all sucks,
that I suck, that no one wants it, that no one wants to see me,
that everything sucks, that no one is going to like it,
that no one is coming to the show.
I doubt it too.
CARNIVAL
When Larissa told me, before going to bed,
that she gets insecure before going on stage,
I was totally lost.
What's up, Rio de Janeiro!
Because as the day began,
she'd activate this boss mode that seemed unbeatable.
When she's performing, she has two channels on her mic.
One for singing and one for talking to her crew.
This is amazing!
Come take off the wings.
I'm going to do the circle now.
I'm scared this old lady is going to get crushed
on the railing over there. Get her over here, in front row.
Attention, city guards!
He robbed a guy who was over there
and went that way.
I saw it. Not the people. I saw it. He robbed him and went that way.
She's not happy just being a celebrity.
She won't be on the fence, be it on an electric trio,
or if need be, even during an election.
And they didn't stay to check. They didn't watch the rehearsal.
What the camera captured was a mixture of artist and producer, all at once.
Because she's aware of everything.
A question.
Does Larissa feel it, when you use Anitta's energy?
Like a…
a recoil from a gun?
Yeah, I mean…
I only feel it when I get home.
I come back home and it's like…
as if I had been torturing myself, you know?
What's up, Pedro?
Did you just wake up? Did I wake you with the noise from the thing that fell?
Let's go. One more of Larissa's tales, people.
Once upon a time, Larissa was going to the Grammy Awards.
Larissa started doing her own make-up right before leaving.
Someone is calling you.
I'm not going to cry
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Soon I'll scrub it all off my face and say, "I'm not going anymore. I'm not."
You're making me nervous, looking at me like that.
I'll manage somehow, and we'll go out,
and I'm going to be gorgeous.
Everyone is going to say, "You look amazing."
I'll be like, "Yes, I am. Thanks."
And that will be tonight's CliffsNotes.
There are people dying of starvation,
and I'm here worried about such a foolish thing.
My life is very interesting.
A bunch of things happen all the time.
So you end up
wanting to talk about all that.
You know? To show all those things.
And that makes it look like Larissa's life is not interesting.
Because there isn't that avalanche of things happening,
that bunch of plot twists, problems to be solved, etc…
So she fades into the background. You forget to talk about her.
And that happens to me as well.
I am forgetting her, because her life is less intere--
Not less interesting, but less cluttered with information.
I've lost my charger already.
This is one of those moments I wish I wasn't Anitta.
Why? Because I'm just dying to go out,
and I don't want to have to worry about where.
I want to go wherever I feel like going.
Because if I go to this place, they'll say it's not good for me,
because it's not good for me to be there.
And if I go there, I shouldn't be on the street.
I would like to be in the street.
Do you have Bluetooth? Do you have Bluetooth, my friend?
-Who is this? -Carmen Miranda.
-Don't you know who she is? -No.
Let's have a teachable moment for our friend
who doesn't know who Carmen Miranda is.
Carmen Miranda was the first Brazilian
to be famous outside of Brazil.
Besides her, do you know who is the only Brazilian who achieved a similar feat?
Guess who.
So, what did you think about tonight?
Well…
we had fun.
People are always scared of telling me things…
-Like what? -…and asking me things.
They think, "Oh, she's Anitta, the girl who dances and twerks."
And when it's time to have sex, they go like,
"Oh my God, I can't, uh…
I have to live up to expectations, because she's so famous,"
and then they can't get it up.
In the beginning I used to feel terrible about it,
I'd feel super sad, super sad.
Because no one was able to be with me like that.
And I'd think, "Fuck, why does this always happen to me?"
I sort of acted like the victim. And nowadays I just go, "Oh."
"Okay, if you didn't have the guts, it's because it wasn't meant to be."
Enough.
I'll turn it off.
Okay. What's your favorite song?
-Look. -Are you going to like it? I think so.
I'm almost positive you're going to like it.
This is the song you would listen to
for the rest of your life if you had to choose one?
Yeah. Will you tell me yours?
-Mine? -Yeah.
I'll tell you.
This is my favorite song.
This one.
Wait.
When I was a teenager,
I saw this movie.
I don't remember the name,
but the girl sings this song, and it was super…
sort of romantic, a declaration of love,
and I've always been this romantic,
this other me no one knows,
this me here,
she's that silly romantic you can already see.
That's how it became my favorite song.
In the whole world.
Are you sleepy?
I'm drunk.
Like, here in my--
Once upon a time.
In the fairy tale I came up with.
One of the things I admire the most about Larissa,
is that she's very spontaneous.
Everything about her is real.
And she can laugh and cry within less than ten seconds.
Like seduction and pajamas, you know?
She's the stage and shoulder to lean on at the same time.
She's deep, she's a jokester,
queen of the world,
and nobody I know worries as much about other people as she does.
Sometimes I wonder
how such contradictions can fit into one person.
On that day, I remember I asked her why she started crying out of the blue.
We were laughing so hard.
She stopped, looking so serious, looked at me and said,
"I don't know."
I'll bring it closer to you so you can listen properly.
Sit here. Sit here.
-Hello. -Come through now.
What?
I want you guys to listen to this fucking song
until your ears fall off!
So, bye, everybody.
What?
She comes, she does, she goes. Fuck it.
I just saw it.
Pajamas!
I'm terrified of flying.
That was one of the hardest parts for me in all these months of filming.
But compared to what she goes through, fear of flying is nothing.
-Hi, dear. -Hi, doctor. How are you?
-Hi, can you hear me? How are you doing? -Go ahead.
So, he's done the PET scan.
The PET scan is the exam that gives us the highest probabilities.
And the highest probability is that it's a lung tumor.
-Cancer? -Luckily--
Yeah, apparently it's cancer. But it's localized.
The PET scan looks at the whole body, and we couldn't find cancer anywhere else.
That means if the surgery is well done, your father will be cured.
Receiving such difficult news
and having to continue with your millions of appointments,
because canceling them is just not an option.
Imagine coming up with another name for yourself
and living your life in two completely distinct and contradictory ways.
Mom, look!
Am I really like that?
Of course.
Larissa has always made it very clear that she needed to be seen.
But seeing her there with her mom, being doubly seen…
this means much more to her than it does to the world.
Thanks.
Bye. Thank you.
Daddy, tomorrow morning, what is the best time for the nurse to go draw your blood?
So they'll have the results when I get there
and we can get it all done together?
And even though Anitta looks invincible…
Larissa isn't.
The math doesn't always add up.
Welcome Anitta!
It's all right.
I'm already speaking Portuguese, so let's just keep going!
Goddamn it!
If the sound doesn't stop working again we can move on.
If the sound stops working, sing for me.
In English, we'll pretend everything is all right. Look--
Bring me my drink. I'm so done with this shit.
No one notices it, except those who are really close.
I want to thank everyone…
Because it's not just that she dances, sings,
and gives a visceral performance when she's on stage.
If that was all, it'd be no big deal.
She controls this gigantic operation and makes sure it's running properly.
That must be so exhausting.
Come on, come on. Come in or get out. That's it. Close the door.
Oh my God, shut the door
Man, this water is hot…
-Did you get the-- -Yeah.
Thanks.
It's insane.
This person has to give up their life.
Of course, there's a price to pay.
I think things reached a point where she understood
that Larissa needed to listen to herself.
That if she kept going at that pace, her health might really take a hit.
And she mentioned that to me,
because she'd been reading a book on Carmen Miranda,
who also worked non-stop.
And in the end, her body gave in, you know?
It's so tricky, man. So hard.
It's like one thing is fixed, and then there's another one…
Right after. Like, the body…
my body can't stand being at peace.
I can't take it anymore, you know?
Every time I come across someone
who knows who Anitta is,
but I'm not close to them,
I become her.
A switch is flipped.
And I don't want to turn into that person all the time.
I used to be able to control when I turned.
But now that everybody knows me, I have no more control.
And I can't stand it anymore, you know?
I can't stand not being able to control when I will become this person.
That's the price. You can't give up.
That's the price you pay for being who you've been until today.
-For that character you've created. -No, I just want to bury it all.
It's impossible for me to give as much as I used to.
And, like, I don't-- I can't stand it anymore.
I just can't.
Maybe that's why she decided
to reconnect to herself.
But she doesn't like things to be easy.
She chose to do it at the world's highest peak.
On that day I felt exactly how I feel in my career.
I wanted to get some rest. I was feeling extremely sick, tired.
But the people around me had such a clear picture of Anitta as someone
who never gives up.
Someone who gives her all until the last drop
to be the best, to reach the top, to win more and more and more.
And they barely believed me.
What's wrong with giving up? What's wrong with changing your mind?
And I wanted to be free.
I felt that if I kept climbing,
I would only be satisfying the expectations of the crew,
the filming crew, whom I didn't want to disappoint.
But now, suddenly, the will to keep quiet was louder
than the will to reach the top.
Maybe only reaching the halfway point gave me the best of both worlds?
Just enjoying the place, the nature,
capturing some footage, and being quiet.
Okay, I won't have the footage of me reaching the top.
But would I endure
the consequences of getting to the top of the highest of all peaks?
There are just too many side effects. To both things, right?
I started to rethink my whole career, my whole life.
I like traveling alone, walking on the street,
walking with no bodyguards,
befriending unknown people, people I meet at bars,
I like dancing in the middle of the dance floor…
Maybe if Anitta climbs even higher,
Larissa will never get those moments again.
Then what?
What do we do then?
I was happy for her.
Because I think giving up is often exactly what we need to keep going…
even if in a new direction.
And the direction she's now going in is more like
the mentality of not needing to always be on top.
Singer Anitta spent five days at a spiritual retreat.
She did the so-called "gestational map."
She isolated herself in search of balance, far from the buzz of everyday life.
I'm healed! Hey, I'm healed! It's over.
It's over. It's all over.
It's a matter of recovering, healing my scars, renewal.
It's over. You've got to go there.
Girl!
Trust me. If you don't go, I'll drag you there.
-My God! -They have cold ones there.
-Mom! Wow! Mom! -Are you happy, honey? Oh, thank God!
She didn't really open up to me very often, like,
telling me what she was going through or something.
She didn't tell me things. But I was always asking.
Some days she would say, "Mom, I give up. I can't take it anymore."
-That's Renan. He's always been like that. -That's me.
You.
I'm a person who screams and jumps up and down.
-I'm a person who-- -Always has been.
Yeah, but now I am like that and I like what I am like, you know?
-Yeah. -That's how it's supposed to be.
-Exactly. -And that's the way I'm supposed to be.
-I'm joyful, I jump up and down, I sing… -Right on!
I make jokes, I fuck up, and I like being crazy.
And I like doing crazy things,
and I am very happy.
Totally nuts! Being nuts!
Is there anyone at home?
Beautiful!
I think when we're kids,
we don't really know who we are, right?
We're whatever those around us decide we are.
And that can last a lifetime.
Larissa was always special, different somehow.
But I don't know, I get the impression…
I think she didn't fit into herself, so she tried to be more plain.
But I think when we get to that place in life,
in our 30s,
we start to see what really matters.
Anitta is a character.
She wants to be strong and powerful.
And inside all of that is Larissa, doing all the other things
she has been doing since she was a kid.
I think she's different on stage.
But over the years,
I've started to feel she is more like Larissa. She's being her true self.
She's letting it happen.
Guys, did you see the moon tonight?
I was taking Charlie out for a walk and when I looked up, guys…
I don't know if it's like that in Brazil, but it looks insane here. Oh my God.
I can't stop crying.
So beautiful. I love you all so much!
I'm so grateful for having you in my life. What a beautiful moon!
Man, I saw her change.
I don't remember how many times she told me to go
to family constellation therapy, to Kundalini, to spiritual retreats…
I used to throw parties to get everybody drunk and fooling around.
Now I organize meetings for spiritual growth,
so everybody can become beings of light.
Oh, you're chatting.
I thought you had started a session with her.
-No, I'm waiting. -I said-- Oh!
And today we did Kundalini activation, right?
Yes, a Kundalini activation. It's the most powerful energy we have.
Oh, right now I'm all about peace and tranquility.
Give me a hug. You need to study, don't you?
You need some training.
Whoa! You hugged me too!
Give her all the hugs.
Let's do it. You'll have to do it every ten days.
-I don't really hug anyone. I don't-- -You hugged me. I thought it was so cute.
-But I'm-- -Yeah, but like, isn't she the…
-She's one of the crowd. -I've hugged you.
I even let that hug go on.
Now even I…
I love you.
She has issues with this. You have to grab her to give her a kiss.
I grab her, she says, "Oh my God!" I say, "Calm down!"
We're friends.
She will find a way to do something for her spirituality,
for her mind.
If she doesn't get vacations,
if she doesn't get the time to recover her energy,
she'll get sick again.
So it's almost an ongoing search.
Larissa gets into everything. Yoga, Kundalini, spiritual retreats, everything,
so she'll have the strength to go up on stage as Anitta.
She doesn't want to be alone.
She wants her friends by her side.
I love you, Ju!
Oh, girl!
Let me have one last sip.
-Are you going for a dip? -Girl, I'm--
No, but only because there's no towel to dry myself.
But I'm so happy.
Nature is beautiful.
The sea is beautiful.
The neighbors looking at us drunkards is beautiful.
Everything is beautiful.
We could stay here until the sun comes up. And then in the morning…
Girl!
I loved doing everything I've done. I think I've changed people's lives.
But did I send them the right message?
It's so beautiful!
Does the sun rise over here or over there?
I reached the point at which I had already conquered everything.
Everything I've desired, I achieved.
I want to be number one in the world, and I was.
But after I reached number one in the world,
just because everyone was like,
"Where's the next one? Where's the next one?"
I stopped relaxing and started worrying about where the next one was.
Man, I had always dreamed of being number one.
Why didn't I just enjoy it and travel somewhere?
You're going to get all wet!
I hate this question.
"What are your plans for next year? What are your plans for--"
I don't fucking know! Fuck!
I don't fucking know!
No one can stay on top forever,
having all that, and being genuinely happy.
You're only truly happy
if you'd still be happy after losing it all.
I think…
if you do everything I did,
being everywhere at the same time,
there's always a big void.
You don't even think of yourself anymore.
You just want more, more.
More attention, more and more attention.
And I think that emptiness in me was so big
that it didn't matter how successful I became.
Nothing filled that void, because the void is inside,
and we keep trying to fill the void with things from the outside.
So if I lost it all tomorrow, would I be happy?
That's what I want to test.
I'd like to test it, stop and say, "Wait a minute."
"I have to learn to be happy without any of that."
And I think that is for me and for everyone else.
I wanted to make this film
to try to tell people
you don't have to be famous and rich
to be special.
What if I told people…
that there's nothing wrong
if tomorrow…
if next year
you don't have a car that's cooler than the one you have?
That it's okay if next year you don't get a better house?
That it's okay if I don't have a hit single
five years from now, you know?
Because we can be happy without hits.
Oh, I feel so good!
Come here, doggy. Stay here with mommy.
Nice and cozy with mommy.
-You know what's funny? -What?
I was reading that blue book, and I finished it.
Yes.
And there was this fucking amazing chapter about death.
It's about…
living your life as if you were going to die tomorrow.
If you were going to die tomorrow,
you'd value each minute of your day much more.
You'd be like, "Wow! I'm up! Wow! Look at the sky!"
-I want more. I want more. -Louder!
I read that chapter and went to bed. When I woke up, I said,
"Fuck, man. It's true!"
And then everything changed for me.
I woke up that day…
like,
marveling at everything, at the hotel, at the sky, going, "Damn!"
And I did the show very happily
because I didn't give a damn
what was going to happen afterward, if people were watching or not.
Damn, I just wanted to have fun doing the show.
Damn, I just wanted to enjoy every second of that day.
The first time I saw Larissa, I came home euphoric.
It was like Christmas or New Year's Eve or something.
Look at you, all white with snow.
-It's cool? -Uh-huh.
-Wait. -So nice.
When we kissed, I felt the same thing.
And when she invited me to be part of this film,
it was sort of the same.
-Did you hear? -Of course I did.
Sure, she knew I was working in Film.
A long time had passed. The proposal was completely professional.
Check, check, check, check. Testing audio.
I'm saving your ass again, Pedro. Let it be on the recording.
I felt as if I was 13 again, you know?
Rehearsing what I was going to say to her after school.
What are my eyes saying now?
I never thought we'd experience what we did.
I'm embarrassed to say.
-Say it! -I almost died--
-So I can be sure you can read my mind! -No, no! I'm embarrassed!
I fell in love all over again. And I think she did, too.
Can you put that camera aside and come sit next to me?
I don't want to keep talking to the camera.
Damn, Pedro, you're fucking amazing, aren't you?
You do tattoos, you cook, you're so damn hot,
you can fuck, you play the drums, you play the guitar, you're cultured.
Either you're fucking awesome, or I've become a fool in love.
Charlie won't let me hug you, Pedro.
Are you still on a call?
I'll show up on that call.
There's very little room in Anitta's life for a relationship.
Okay, go. I have to go to therapy.
I've actually only seen Larissa,
the Larissa I used to know…
I don't know,
the Larissa I thought I knew, or I think I know,
when we went back to the hotel room, for one, two hours, tops.
But the truth is I screwed up with her. And she no longer wanted to be with me.
Right away.
If I had to say what Larissa's main personality fault is, it would be this--
her frightening ability to cut off situations
when they don't align perfectly with what she considers right.
What are you up to today?
What are you doing today?
Who should the first slice go to, Larissa?
People are digging in!
It's my first ever, Brazil. Give me your support.
Got it.
The fact is, after that night,
we went our separate ways.
I was still on the project, the camera was still on…
but the lens had become a wall.
-Are you sad? -I'm not.
Then why is our energy weird like this?
Well…
when we don't know what's going on, things get weird.
Unless you feel like clearing things up for me.
What's going on?
This relationship, me working with you,
it's awful for me, to protect myself from my feelings.
In the beginning,
I told you this shouldn't happen, right?
-Uh-huh. -That it would mess things up.
And who insisted?
You did.
So you act one way,
then you change your mind,
you don't explain why, don't talk to me or say anything.
No one can be forced to be with anybody. No one.
-No o-- -Are you filming?
Yes, we are. But it's okay. What's up?
I just wanted to tell you if you don't say hi to my daughter she will die.
-I'll do it right away. -Damn it. Did I screw up?
I wanted to work it out. But she had decided.
Last day of shooting.
Mauro's 60th birthday, Larissa's father.
Larissa was always big on birthdays.
In that sense, she's just like Anitta. She loves to throw a party.
Not just for her, but for everyone she loves.
I don't know how she finds the time.
Sometimes I think she's like a clock that runs on a different schedule.
She is in the eye of the hurricane, solving hundreds of problems,
she pauses everything for a friend's call until the problem is solved.
When I sang to 20,000 people, I was super chill, but now…
Totally chill.
Good evening, everyone!
Welcome, my dad's friends, our family.
This is my dad's first birthday party ever,
so we had to do it in style, right?
So I said to him,
"Dad, you're so… it really is impossible to surprise you, isn't it?"
He said, "Well, yeah. I'm a pai de santo."
But there's one surprise he wasn't able to foresee.
That tonight's show is on me.
You may start now.
All my children have followed my spiritual path.
We all have orishas.
When your paths are well taken care of, the orisha finds the way for you.
The way of ancestors.
Larissa, her orisha is a child.
It's an Ochosi. A child.
Oh my God!
-Dad. -Hey, honey!
Look what I'm wearing tonight.
Am I not beautiful?
You look like an orisha.
These big events in the world of the super mega famous,
that's something I think I'd never be able to handle.
But she was so happy.
When she got the call from her father
telling her that he was completely cancer-free, cured,
she almost started dancing in the middle of the street.
She's such a character.
I can't help but think that her life really does seem like a movie.
She won a scholarship in a school pageant wearing a dress
made of plastic coffee cups!
She was six. Six years old.
And now her outfit is covered in pearls.
And the girl I first met in Honório,
and the woman I met again
on stage,
is a suburban girl who changed her name to handle being so many things.
Being the most affectionate daughter and sister,
and at the same time, run her own empire.
I love my mom, I love my dad, I love my brother.
My mom is a hard-ass. It's really hard to get past her shell.
She's a great mother,
but she never hugged me or kissed me.
Now she's my best friend.
I call her all the time. And it's perfect.
After spending so much time with her,
I've come to realize that Larissa and Anitta,
who previously fought to see who'd take up more room in her mind,
or who was going to win that battle,
have now understood what I've also understood.
You can't live life rejecting 50% of who you are.
And deep down, we all carry that same duality.
Nobody is just one single thing.
And I really hope we can meet again some other time in our lives.
I hope I can film her the way I did,
dancing, singing, and witnessing that unforgettable meeting
between her and the power of the speaker.
Larissa! Larissa! Larissa! Larissa!
Look, the day has dawned.
Are you going to run?
This was better than going to any club.
-Right? -Yeah.
Look, I'm all wet.
We'd be twerking to the same old songs.
I mean, they are great songs, but we've done that before.
And we got to see the sunrise.
I had never been here before I was a singer.
To the South Zone.
I lived in Rio and I had never come to São Conrado.
I had never been to this beach.
Better than going to a club.
Fuck!
A bunch of drunk people pissing me off, talking so much.
Yeah, I have talked a lot tonight too.
But I said intelligent things.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy!
I've decided to be very fucking happy
and I will be happy no matter what kind of shit happens.
Can't you decide to be happy too?
So why aren't you happy yet?
I think I want to have sex.
I'll find someone.
Guess who I'll-- You're never going to guess.
I want, uh…
How do you say it?
Not having sex.
I want to have intercourse while listening to mantras today.
If I leave everything behind and become a mantra singer on some mountain--
-I'll come with you. -…will you come with me?