1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,755 --> 00:00:11,338 (morose music) 4 00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:23,338 My mom used to always tell me 5 00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:24,583 to take pictures. 6 00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:28,843 You can always reminisce and reflect in a more tangible way. 7 00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:32,173 I actually have a lot of pictures. 8 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:34,908 The sad thing is 9 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,983 I have no pictures with my father. 10 00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:43,743 (morose music continues) 11 00:00:53,764 --> 00:00:54,555 (camera clicks) 12 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,028 Father's Day 2023. 13 00:00:57,070 --> 00:01:00,268 Literally, some months ago, 14 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:04,018 I called up my dad, I told him, "Happy Father's Day." 15 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:07,168 And then something came in my head, 16 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:11,278 and I was like, "Dad, do we have any pictures together?" 17 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:15,344 And he's like, "Oh yeah, we got pictures 18 00:01:15,386 --> 00:01:17,218 with you and the family, with your grandma." 19 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:20,938 And I'm like, "No, pictures of just you and me. 20 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:22,807 Do we have any pictures together?" 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,348 And he said, "No, son. I don't think so." 22 00:01:28,390 --> 00:01:30,868 And I was like, "You don't find that strange", 23 00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:35,910 that you're in your mid-60s, I just hit my 40s, 24 00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:40,447 "and we don't have one single picture together?" 25 00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,398 And there was just complete silence. 26 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,168 So what I did, I asked him, 27 00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:50,060 I'm like, "Look, I wanna document somethin'." 28 00:01:50,102 --> 00:01:51,118 (thrilling violin music) 29 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:55,378 Us, you and I havin' a sit down conversation 30 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:59,338 about some questions, some unanswered questions 31 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,333 that I have about my childhood, 32 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:06,868 "and also the reason why we don't have a picture together." 33 00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,898 And he said he was cool with doing that. 34 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,758 So I'm pretty much on my journey 35 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:16,090 to discovering what that conversation's gonna lead to, 36 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,888 what I'm gonna find. 37 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:24,930 But ultimately, yeah, I'm on my way right now to LAX and, 38 00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,993 yeah, we'll see what happens. 39 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:38,272 [Bus Announcer] First stop, 40 00:02:38,314 --> 00:02:39,105 it's gonna be Southwest Airlines. 41 00:02:39,147 --> 00:02:41,360 Southwest Airlines people, check around your seats, 42 00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:43,578 make sure nothing fell out of your pockets, 43 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:47,535 your keys, your license, your ticket. 44 00:02:47,577 --> 00:02:51,327 First stop, Southwest Airlines and Allegiant. 45 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:59,590 (airport announcer speaking indistinctly) 46 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,318 (plane humming) 47 00:03:12,969 --> 00:03:13,760 (camera clicks) 48 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,778 I'm here at Austin Airport, 49 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,463 waiting on my flight to Palm Beach International. 50 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,163 Got like a two-hour layover. 51 00:03:22,390 --> 00:03:25,807 So I'm just kicking it, just waitin'. 52 00:03:28,178 --> 00:03:32,622 (airport announcer speaking indistinctly) 53 00:03:32,664 --> 00:03:33,635 (camera clicks) 54 00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:34,577 Here in West Palm. 55 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,378 About to start this journey. 56 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:40,798 Well, midway through the journey. 57 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,298 Part of the journey was getting here. 58 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,673 So, thank God, it was a long day. 59 00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,648 Pretty much flew the whole day over 10 hours 60 00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:54,298 of waiting and flying, and all that stuff. 61 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:57,542 But I'm here. Thanks be to God. 62 00:03:57,584 --> 00:04:00,251 (camera clicks) 63 00:04:03,316 --> 00:04:07,258 I think this is my mom right here pulling up. 64 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:11,968 Otherwise, this person wouldn't be pulling up like this. 65 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:12,843 See? 66 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,203 So I'm here. Finally got my mom here. 67 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:21,920 (camera clicks) 68 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:22,862 - [Mom] Yep. - [Reggie] Mm. 69 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,120 - I told Kee they need to put some more lights out here. 70 00:04:30,189 --> 00:04:32,339 To this stuff right here. People can't see. 71 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,900 [Reggie] Were there lights before? 72 00:04:37,942 --> 00:04:39,723 - [Mom] Hmm-mm, they ain't never had none. 73 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,004 - [Reggie] They ain't never have lights out here? 74 00:04:45,046 --> 00:04:46,543 - [Mom] Hmm-mm, see how the thing is? 75 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,083 That's what I'm saying. 76 00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:53,057 (camera clicks) - Morning. 77 00:04:53,099 --> 00:04:57,118 I'm about to get ready and go meet up with my dad right now 78 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,203 so that we can have that conversation. 79 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:04,303 It's a beautiful day here in Florida. 80 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,448 Like I said before, 81 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:09,658 he doesn't know the questions I'm gonna ask. 82 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:12,748 I don't know his responses, obviously. 83 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,988 But the main thing is that we're gonna sit down 84 00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:17,848 and have a conversation. 85 00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:21,388 And, ultimately, we'll get our first picture together. 86 00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:23,098 I'm gonna start to load up the car 87 00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,640 with the production equipment. 88 00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:28,018 I'm a one-man cast and crew, so... 89 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,488 It's always been like that, but I love it. 90 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,671 (camera clicks) 91 00:05:32,713 --> 00:05:34,378 All right, got everything loaded. 92 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,493 That's my main camera right there. 93 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,608 That's set. 94 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:39,778 I got it pre-set up, 95 00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,738 that way it's a lot easier when I start shootin', 96 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:47,372 especially being a one-man cast and crew. 97 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,648 Don't know if you can see. It's kinda dark. 98 00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:53,833 Got my lighting, sound, more camera equipment, 99 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,238 batteries, all that stuff in there. 100 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,113 Let's go. 101 00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:00,529 (car door closes) (camera clicks) 102 00:06:00,571 --> 00:06:04,738 (mom speaking indistinctly) 103 00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,430 Hold on, let me get my stuff out. 104 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,462 Ah. 105 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,093 'Sup, boss? 106 00:06:23,052 --> 00:06:24,453 - [Jernigan Sr.] Hi. - [Reggie] How you feelin'? 107 00:06:24,495 --> 00:06:25,698 Why lookin' like that? 108 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:26,740 [Mom] Why? 109 00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:30,263 - [Reggie] You lookin' at her more than me! (laughs) 110 00:06:30,305 --> 00:06:32,368 What you mean? (Reggie laughing) 111 00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,665 - [Reggie] I already got- 112 00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:35,156 - You got everything? - [Reggie] Yeah. 113 00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:37,325 (camera clicks) 114 00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,996 Here we go. 115 00:06:41,038 --> 00:06:41,829 You ready? 116 00:06:41,871 --> 00:06:43,479 I'm good. Let's go. (laughs) 117 00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,105 [Reggie] Let's do this. 118 00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:47,713 First of all, I wanna appreciate you, 119 00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,167 you know, taking out the time to sit down with me. 120 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,403 These bugs, man. 121 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,120 - Could've had that fan, but it would've made a sound. 122 00:06:59,029 --> 00:07:00,509 [Reggie] It's all good. 123 00:07:00,551 --> 00:07:02,758 (Reggie speaks indistinctly) 124 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,228 So describe Belle Glade, 125 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:08,081 where you from, where were you born, and all that stuff. 126 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:11,420 - [Jernigan Sr.] I was born in Belle Glade, Florida 127 00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:13,990 in the year 1961. 128 00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:17,158 [Reggie] Okay. 129 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,678 - At Glades General Hospital. (tender music) 130 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,190 - [Reggie] Better known- 131 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,173 - Better known as Killer General, don't (laughs)... 132 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,613 Yeah, that was what they called it back then. 133 00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:30,178 'Cause I guess people felt like they lost 134 00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,278 more of their loved ones than they, 135 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,724 you know, they could've saved, but- 136 00:07:34,766 --> 00:07:36,183 [Reggie] Right. 137 00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:42,073 So where'd you live at, like work, 138 00:07:42,115 --> 00:07:45,130 was it like a certain area- 139 00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:51,178 - My childhood days, I grew up in Okeechobee Projects, 140 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,068 Number Two, right? 141 00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:55,378 And at first, we stayed 142 00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:59,668 in the biggest white house on the project 143 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,157 because my mom worked in the office, 144 00:08:03,392 --> 00:08:04,378 the rental office right there. 145 00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:07,738 And then when they started developing the projects, 146 00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:10,153 we moved to 19 Carver Street. 147 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:14,818 And I stayed at 19 Carver Street from that time 148 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:19,860 until finishing school and on my way to the military. 149 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:26,698 So yeah, a lot of good days on Carver Street. 150 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,512 A lot of good days. 151 00:08:28,554 --> 00:08:29,345 [Reggie] Do you know the name 152 00:08:29,387 --> 00:08:30,553 of those projects today? 153 00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:33,208 It was Okeechobee Project Number One, 154 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,338 which was one, I mean, Number Two, 155 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:39,206 and it was Okeechobee Project, what is now Osceola. 156 00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:40,039 [Reggie] Oh. 157 00:08:40,081 --> 00:08:41,692 On Avenue L in Belle Glade now. 158 00:08:41,734 --> 00:08:42,525 - [Reggie] Okay. - But, yeah, 159 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:47,567 that was where mostly the Hispanic people stayed at, 160 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,338 then most of the Black people stayed in Osceola, 161 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:52,453 I mean, project number two. 162 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,128 [Reggie] The hospital, 163 00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,808 was that off of where you were born? 164 00:08:57,850 --> 00:09:00,898 Was that off of Main Street? 165 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,278 Well, back in them days 166 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,508 that wasn't a four-lane highway. 167 00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:05,728 That used to be a two-lane highway. 168 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:06,561 - [Reggie] Oh, okay. - And it used to be lined 169 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,698 with Australian pine trees. 170 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:12,118 So I don't know, I can't tell you exactly 171 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,622 when they constructed the new Belle Glade General, 172 00:09:15,664 --> 00:09:20,578 but it was like, that was a labor camp, you know? 173 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,333 So you can imagine what, 174 00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:25,257 when they had the best of everything. 175 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:28,918 But as time progressed, they got a program 176 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,963 and they started puttin' up decent buildings and stuff. 177 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,207 I couldn't tell you what Glades General was before, 178 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:40,198 before I got there, no. - [Reggie] Okay. 179 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:44,068 You used to hang out, you had like a hangout spot? 180 00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:44,943 Oh, yeah, man. 181 00:09:46,078 --> 00:09:47,993 - [Reggie] Randy Burton, somethin' like that? 182 00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,088 No, Randy couldn't hang out with us. 183 00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,580 (Reggie laughing) 184 00:09:51,622 --> 00:09:53,173 He wasn't built that way. 185 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,248 [Reggie] Where do you use to hang out at? 186 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,198 See, we used to hang out in the projects. 187 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,358 You know, we always stayed in the projects. 188 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,528 We never like came to Belle Glade 189 00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:03,770 unless we going to school. - [Reggie] Okay. 190 00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:08,987 - [Jernigan Sr.] Well, I was in gang, really, 191 00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:09,820 to be honest with you. 192 00:10:09,862 --> 00:10:10,718 We had a little bit of G, gang. 193 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,118 [Reggie] Yeah, yeah. 194 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,048 We were hanging out right there 195 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,167 in the corner after school. 196 00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:16,198 Every day after school. - [Reggie] Okay. 197 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,228 You know, up in the basketball court. 198 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,368 We used to kinda have this building 199 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,288 they called assembly building, 200 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,578 a little place where everybody came 201 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:26,218 and gathered and played cards, 202 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:27,958 - all old timers or whatever. - [Reggie] Right. 203 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,473 - They had like a little restaurant in there. 204 00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:36,088 It was ran by Mr. Poolboy and my Aunt Petey. 205 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,178 She used to work in it also, that was Dee mama. 206 00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:40,220 [Reggie] Oh, okay. 207 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:45,268 So describe your family structure, like as a child. 208 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:46,772 Like- 209 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,635 - We was a close-knit family. 210 00:10:48,677 --> 00:10:51,898 You know, yeah, we didn't have a big family 211 00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:54,778 but we was a very, very close-knit family. 212 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:58,830 Everybody would come over on Sundays, 213 00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:03,832 and then eat breakfast and dinner on a Sunday, 214 00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:08,227 and then it happened. 215 00:11:08,269 --> 00:11:09,060 I forgot to tell you, Reggie. 216 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,338 When we was in the beginning of the project, 217 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,087 in the white building, all of us stayed in the same house. 218 00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:16,048 All my aunts, all of us stayed in the same house 219 00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:17,278 Until everybody got grown, 220 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,288 like, then they went on about their own merry ways. 221 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:24,330 But yeah, no big family but we made do with what we had. 222 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:26,998 [Reggie] Right. 223 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,028 How was your relationship with your father? 224 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:32,270 - I didn't really know my father until like, 225 00:11:34,179 --> 00:11:35,413 well, maybe I was in, maybe the 10th, 226 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,748 maybe 10th, 11th grade. 227 00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:41,233 Yeah, he didn't come around. 228 00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:43,678 Unless, you know, he come around 229 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,568 when he would be drunk and all 230 00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:47,878 and my mom was always like, "Take me in the back room" 231 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,178 "and shield me away from him," you know? 232 00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:52,738 And I don't know why but, you know. 233 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,788 But, yeah, I didn't really have 234 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:55,295 a good relationship with my dad- 235 00:11:55,337 --> 00:11:58,228 [Reggie] So you had a strong relationship 236 00:11:58,270 --> 00:11:59,061 with your mom? 237 00:11:59,103 --> 00:12:01,108 - Oh yeah, most definitely. - [Reggie] Okay. 238 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,358 - Yeah, she was my mom, she was all our mom and dad. 239 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,498 [Reggie] Exactly. 240 00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:06,747 Do you have any pictures with your father? 241 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:10,928 I have seen pictures of him in his house, 242 00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,448 but I don't have any of 'em, no. 243 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:14,902 [Reggie] Yeah, no, like you and him. 244 00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,092 No, no, no. 245 00:12:16,134 --> 00:12:16,925 - [Reggie] So you don't have- 246 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:17,758 He wasn't really in my life. 247 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,408 - [Reggie] Oh, okay. - Yeah. 248 00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:20,241 [Reggie] So I hear 249 00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:22,918 you was extremely intelligent in high school. 250 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:23,788 Pretty much. 251 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,288 [Reggie] Yeah, what does that mean? 252 00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,689 I can get by. 253 00:12:26,731 --> 00:12:27,958 (both laugh) 254 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,938 Could've been, I could've did better, you know? 255 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,128 But you go along through high school 256 00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:34,408 and you play around, you play around. 257 00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,553 And then when the world hits you, 258 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,188 you wish you had done better back in that day because- 259 00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:42,021 [Reggie] Right, right. 260 00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:44,361 - It affects you later on in life, you know? 261 00:12:44,403 --> 00:12:45,358 [Reggie] Right. 262 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,200 I'm just lucky enough to be, like, 263 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:49,528 able to go into the military, 264 00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:50,698 and that really changed me, you know? 265 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:54,388 - [Reggie] Right, right. - Because, I don't know... 266 00:12:54,430 --> 00:12:56,068 I think I was on the verge of selling drugs 267 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,568 if I had not went into the military. 268 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,401 [Reggie] Right. 269 00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:00,718 - You know, 'cause that was what everybody was doing then. 270 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,921 But not so much what everybody was doing it, 271 00:13:01,963 --> 00:13:04,168 that was a way of making ends meet. 272 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,848 - [Reggie] What branch of military did you serve in? 273 00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,898 - I did six years in the United States Army. 274 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:14,940 I started out at basic training in Fort Gordon. 275 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:19,978 I did all my basic training at AIT in Fort Gordon. 276 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:24,988 And then my first duty station was in Fort Stewart, Georgia. 277 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:26,608 I think I might've stayed at Fort Stewart 278 00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:28,918 maybe in six, eight months. 279 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,888 And then after that little stunt, 280 00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:34,078 I was shipped over to Korea. 281 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,911 [Reggie] Ah, oh, okay. 282 00:13:34,953 --> 00:13:36,679 [Jernigan Sr.] For like 18 months. 283 00:13:36,721 --> 00:13:37,512 [Reggie] Okay. 284 00:13:37,554 --> 00:13:41,968 - And then after I left Korea, I ended up in California. 285 00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:44,638 And that's where, what are they called, ETS, 286 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,262 that's like when you got done all your time. 287 00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:48,095 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 288 00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:51,150 That's what ETS, they ship you back home. 289 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:54,118 [Reggie] How old was I 290 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,948 when you and my mom separated? 291 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:57,433 How old was I? 292 00:13:57,475 --> 00:14:02,475 - Mm, I think you might've been maybe five or six. 293 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,590 You couldn't have been nine. 294 00:14:08,818 --> 00:14:10,258 Yeah, you... [Reggie] Five or six. 295 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,928 - Maybe younger, because I remember I used to, 296 00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:16,378 I mean we used to get up Saturday mornin' and clean up, 297 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:19,258 and then we used to drink beer afterwards. 298 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,138 Who is we? Who is we? 299 00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:25,078 We. (both laughing) 300 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,578 We used to drink, your mama was gone to work, 301 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,453 she didn't know. 302 00:14:28,699 --> 00:14:30,538 (both laugh) 303 00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:32,488 So you tellin' me I used to drink? 304 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:33,681 - [Jernigan Sr.] Yeah- 305 00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,128 - And I didn't know about it. - [Jernigan Sr.] Yeah- 306 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:36,988 Man, everybody know 307 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:40,370 that I never had a sip of alcohol in my life and you... 308 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:41,728 (both laughing) 309 00:14:41,770 --> 00:14:43,170 That's what you told them. 310 00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:45,778 You should've did your research first. 311 00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,728 [Reggie] Oh, man. I have no idea. 312 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,345 - Yeah. - [Reggie] I have no idea. 313 00:14:49,387 --> 00:14:50,428 You ain't drank much. 314 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:51,958 I just gave you a little sip. (Reggie laughs) 315 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,468 You're going to get it from me, out the icebox, but yeah. 316 00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:56,418 [Reggie] So I was about to ask you, 317 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,708 do you have a fun memory between us? 318 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:00,028 Are those the fun memories- 319 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,918 Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. 320 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,528 We spend a lot of time together, one on one. 321 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,968 But you was much smaller. 322 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:08,438 You wasn't old enough to realize, I mean- 323 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,271 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 324 00:15:09,313 --> 00:15:10,228 To put things together. 325 00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:11,308 But yeah, we- 326 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:12,598 [Reggie] So whenever I will go 327 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,152 and visit you and stuff like that, we, you know? 328 00:15:16,194 --> 00:15:17,516 - Mm-hmm. 329 00:15:17,558 --> 00:15:19,018 [Reggie] But we never took 330 00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,518 any pictures together, though, right? 331 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,288 We never took any pictures together. 332 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,353 I don't think, yeah. 333 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:29,700 I came home after you was born for a couple days. 334 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,078 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 335 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,427 - And I had to go back, I think I went back, 336 00:15:34,469 --> 00:15:36,663 I think I was in Georgia then. 337 00:15:36,705 --> 00:15:37,663 Yeah, I think I was in Georgia. 338 00:15:37,705 --> 00:15:38,496 Ain't no way in the world 339 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,928 they would let me come from Korea. 340 00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:41,253 [Reggie] Right. 341 00:15:41,295 --> 00:15:43,395 But, yeah, I came home when you was born 342 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:45,711 for a couple days. 343 00:15:45,753 --> 00:15:48,448 But we didn't get to the stage 344 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,889 where we gonna get a chance to get pictures together. 345 00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:51,965 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 346 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,748 Do you remember not coming to pick me up 347 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,938 during a holiday visit? 348 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:00,771 Remember that? 349 00:16:00,813 --> 00:16:02,188 Holidays... 350 00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:04,648 [Reggie] There was one holiday visit 351 00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:06,208 where you didn't come pick me up. 352 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,599 You remember that? 353 00:16:07,641 --> 00:16:09,601 What day was that? What holiday was that? 354 00:16:09,643 --> 00:16:12,118 - [Reggie] I was supposed to come over there 355 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,868 with you for Christmas, it was like a Christmas holiday. 356 00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,068 And I was waiting outside- 357 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,010 And where was I? 358 00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:19,848 [Reggie] I don't know. 359 00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,428 You're supposed to come pick me up. 360 00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:22,386 I know nothin' about that. 361 00:16:22,428 --> 00:16:24,405 (Reggie laughs) 362 00:16:24,447 --> 00:16:25,525 [Reggie] I was waitin', I was waitin'. 363 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,803 And you remember where- 364 00:16:27,981 --> 00:16:28,772 Off of Sixth Street? 365 00:16:28,814 --> 00:16:29,605 [Reggie] In West Palm. 366 00:16:29,647 --> 00:16:31,303 In West Palm, there was a, 367 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:37,768 it was a department store or somethin' like that 368 00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:40,168 and you were supposed to come pick me up 369 00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,682 and I was supposed to go over there- 370 00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:43,515 To Belle Glade? 371 00:16:43,557 --> 00:16:44,348 [Reggie] Yeah. 372 00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:46,378 And then... Huh, that's- 373 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,687 [Reggie] You don't remember that? 374 00:16:47,729 --> 00:16:49,720 No, that don't stick to me. 375 00:16:49,762 --> 00:16:53,387 I normally remember stuff, but that might've happened. 376 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,054 And I apologize about it, if I didn't pick you up. 377 00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:56,195 I don't know what the reason... 378 00:16:56,237 --> 00:16:57,620 [Reggie] No, yeah, yeah. 379 00:16:57,662 --> 00:16:59,428 I mean, believe me, I remember that. 380 00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,847 - I bet you remember. - [Reggie] Yeah. 381 00:17:01,889 --> 00:17:05,267 Do you know that I was coming home 382 00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:08,137 in a police car at the age of 12? 383 00:17:08,179 --> 00:17:10,138 I didn't know you was coming home in... 384 00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:12,262 No, I didn't know that. - [Reggie] Yeah. 385 00:17:12,304 --> 00:17:13,858 But I did know you was in the store 386 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,628 stealing cookies or chips or whatever. 387 00:17:15,670 --> 00:17:18,148 - [Reggie] Right. - And that was that time? 388 00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,590 [Reggie] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 389 00:17:20,754 --> 00:17:21,890 - Well, she called me and told me about that, 390 00:17:21,932 --> 00:17:24,182 but I'm like, young people- 391 00:17:26,049 --> 00:17:26,840 [Reggie] And that's the thing. 392 00:17:26,882 --> 00:17:30,043 I think it was just that when you were that young, 393 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,118 you just trying to fit in with your friends, 394 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,319 - you know what I'm sayin'? - Yeah, I don't know- 395 00:17:35,361 --> 00:17:37,721 [Reggie] You don't have a sense of like, 396 00:17:37,763 --> 00:17:39,970 "Oh," like, "I need to be wise about this 397 00:17:40,012 --> 00:17:42,445 "because in the future this ain't gonna," you know, 398 00:17:42,487 --> 00:17:45,328 you just wanna run with your boys and stuff like that, 399 00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:47,370 and that's what I was doing pretty much. 400 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:51,030 - Well, she threatened to bring you back to me 401 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,098 'cause you had stole a pack of cookie. 402 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,455 But damn, I stole plenty packs of cookies, you know? 403 00:17:56,497 --> 00:17:58,528 You might've been hungry. 404 00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:01,065 I mean, as long as he ain't got a record, you know? 405 00:18:01,107 --> 00:18:02,857 - [Reggie] Right. - You all right. 406 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,668 - [Reggie] How important- 407 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,888 - She did not tell me that you was in the police car. 408 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,288 - [Reggie] Yeah, well, they brought me home, 409 00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:12,658 like they didn't press charges or anything. 410 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,221 And at that age, when I was in the store 411 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:21,263 and the lady was like, or the police officer asked the lady, 412 00:18:21,471 --> 00:18:24,718 she was like, "Do you wanna press charges," you know? 413 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:25,858 And I'm looking at them, 414 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:29,812 like, "What the hell does press charges mean," you know? 415 00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:30,721 (both laugh) 416 00:18:30,763 --> 00:18:31,554 So I- 417 00:18:31,596 --> 00:18:34,105 You didn't want her pressing charges. 418 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,308 [Reggie] But they brought me back 419 00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:38,248 in the police car to the crib and- 420 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:39,290 So what'd she say? 421 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,848 She was livid? - [Reggie] She was livid. 422 00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:45,058 It always seemed like whenever she has somethin' for me, 423 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:48,688 like she had like a brand new bunk bed set 424 00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:51,748 and all this stuff, whenever she had somethin' for me 425 00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:54,735 I would always... Screw it up. (laughs) 426 00:18:54,777 --> 00:18:56,038 [Reggie] It was just a weird coincidence 427 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,480 some of that stuff happened. 428 00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:00,808 How important is school 429 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:03,513 and then getting your education is to you? 430 00:19:03,555 --> 00:19:04,553 It is very important. 431 00:19:04,595 --> 00:19:05,803 I tell my children all the while, 432 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,428 I mean, all of them, that you need to apply yourself 433 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:11,338 and then, because you see other people 434 00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:13,048 in other countries they don't have it, 435 00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:15,208 nowhere near as good as you do. 436 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,353 And I instill in them, 437 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,878 those people that live in them third world countries, 438 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,738 when they come to the United States, 439 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:25,385 they come for a purpose, they come with a purpose. 440 00:19:25,427 --> 00:19:27,898 And that purpose is to do better, and they do that. 441 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:29,548 And I always tell them, 442 00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,188 man, if you don't apply yourself, 443 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:33,868 those same Haitian friends of yours, 444 00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,668 same Jamaican friends, Cuban friends, 445 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:36,898 they gonna be your boss one day- 446 00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:38,368 - [Reggie] Right. - If you don't straighten up. 447 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,333 Yeah, it's very important. 448 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,793 Especially now, man. 449 00:19:45,198 --> 00:19:46,829 If you don't know computers, you lost. 450 00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:49,180 - [Reggie] Right. - Completely lost. 451 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,013 [Reggie] Do you remember 452 00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:52,227 when you said you would support me 100% 453 00:19:52,269 --> 00:19:54,058 when I went to college? 454 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,248 I think I may remember that. 455 00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:58,018 But you gotta understand, back in them days, 456 00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:01,768 I mean, money wouldn't like flowing around freely. 457 00:20:01,810 --> 00:20:03,420 - [Reggie] Right. - I think... 458 00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:06,903 Where was I? 459 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:11,856 When you was in school, was I working with the county? 460 00:20:11,898 --> 00:20:13,798 [Reggie] At UCF. 461 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,473 That was '98, '99. 462 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,220 'Cause I graduated from high school- 463 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,151 '98, I remember. 464 00:20:21,193 --> 00:20:23,274 You and Kecia was up there together. 465 00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:24,268 [Reggie] Right, right. 466 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,833 Yeah, but I don't make excuses. 467 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,413 For whatever reason it didn't happen, 468 00:20:29,455 --> 00:20:31,588 I mean, I'm sure I had a reason that it didn't happen, but- 469 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:32,893 [Reggie] Yeah, right. 470 00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:38,850 But, see, that's the one thing that I respect about you, 471 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:44,160 is that, like, you don't give excuses, 472 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,962 you don't shy away, you acknowledge- 473 00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:48,515 - Mm-hmm, yeah... [Reggie] That, okay, 474 00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:51,178 you know, it was my fault, you know? 475 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,938 And, honestly, I think that's the main reason 476 00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:56,852 why we have a relationship again, you know what I'm sayin'? 477 00:20:56,894 --> 00:20:59,308 'Cause like you got many people out there, 478 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:00,733 many fathers out there, 479 00:21:01,672 --> 00:21:03,268 they still won't swallow their pride, 480 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,488 they still wanna act like, you know, 481 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,328 oh, well, this and that, and want this happen. 482 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:12,015 It's like, come on, man, you know? 483 00:21:12,057 --> 00:21:12,848 - Yeah. - It's okay, you know? 484 00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:14,308 Like, you know, we... That's life. 485 00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:16,678 [Reggie] We hear and, 486 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,055 you know, like some people, some sons, some daughters, 487 00:21:21,097 --> 00:21:25,055 they might not even, you know, have that, 488 00:21:25,097 --> 00:21:28,483 "Oh, you know what? I need to wait on my dad," 489 00:21:30,136 --> 00:21:33,764 or, "I need to wait," 'cause they the grown ones, 490 00:21:33,806 --> 00:21:36,208 so why I need to talk to them about it, 491 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:37,041 you know what I'm sayin'? 492 00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:39,554 Why can't they... Yeah, yeah. 493 00:21:39,596 --> 00:21:40,711 But I feel like they should, 494 00:21:40,753 --> 00:21:42,838 the adults should've came in and addressed it, yeah. 495 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,380 - [Reggie] So that leads me to the other question. 496 00:21:46,302 --> 00:21:48,598 Do you remember that phone call 497 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,208 after all those years that passed, 498 00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:53,878 that went by, the college years, 499 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,628 when I went to Cincinnati and I did, 500 00:21:57,670 --> 00:22:00,028 I was working at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival- 501 00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,528 - Mm-hmm. 502 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,028 [Reggie] One of my friends, 503 00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:05,578 who was a part of the festival with me, 504 00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:07,948 she told me, she's like, "Reggie, 505 00:22:07,990 --> 00:22:10,348 today is Father's Day." 506 00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:12,238 She's like, "You need to call your dad 507 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,826 and wish him a Happy Father's Day." 508 00:22:14,868 --> 00:22:18,904 And my attitude was, (scoffs) "Why should I call him," 509 00:22:18,946 --> 00:22:21,359 all these years, this, that, and the other. 510 00:22:21,401 --> 00:22:23,806 And she like, "Look, let me tell you somethin'. 511 00:22:23,848 --> 00:22:27,719 Whatever he did or didn't do for you, 512 00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:28,720 that means nothin' 513 00:22:28,762 --> 00:22:31,297 because my dad is six feet under right now." 514 00:22:31,339 --> 00:22:32,392 And she's like, 515 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,248 "I wish that I could even pick up the phone." 516 00:22:35,290 --> 00:22:39,044 And she was like, "Regardless of what, 517 00:22:39,086 --> 00:22:41,668 he's still your dad and he's the reason, 518 00:22:41,710 --> 00:22:43,618 part of the reason why you're here right now." 519 00:22:43,660 --> 00:22:44,570 - Mm-hmm. 520 00:22:44,612 --> 00:22:47,095 [Reggie] "Call him and tell him 521 00:22:47,137 --> 00:22:48,804 Happy Father's Day." 522 00:22:49,899 --> 00:22:53,158 It took me everything, if I didn't pick up that phone, 523 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,468 I don't even know if we having this conversation right now. 524 00:22:55,510 --> 00:22:56,677 Probably not, yeah. 525 00:22:59,067 --> 00:23:00,688 [Reggie] Man, I thank God for her. 526 00:23:00,730 --> 00:23:03,358 'Cause she taught me somethin' about life, 527 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,998 she taught me somethin' about myself. 528 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,508 So I picked up that phone, I called you. 529 00:23:09,550 --> 00:23:14,550 And your reaction to hearing my voice, it was like, 530 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,498 'cause you hadn't heard my voice in years. 531 00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:19,064 - Yeah. - Like, so much time had, 532 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,506 how did you feel during that, when I called you? 533 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,888 You feel like most, any parent would feel 534 00:23:24,930 --> 00:23:26,518 if you hadn't heard from your child. 535 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,138 His only child at that, you know? 536 00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:30,871 - [Reggie] Right. - And it's like, 537 00:23:30,913 --> 00:23:32,600 it's kinda sad, because 538 00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,721 you feel like you could've done better. 539 00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:38,728 But sometimes it's the things that go in your life 540 00:23:38,770 --> 00:23:42,640 that you have no control over, you know? 541 00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:44,158 I ain't the type of person that push issues, you know? 542 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,508 - [Reggie] Right, right. - If that's what you wanna do, 543 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:47,312 then I'm not gonna argue with you. 544 00:23:47,354 --> 00:23:48,145 [Reggie] Right. 545 00:23:48,187 --> 00:23:48,978 I'm not gonna go back and forth with you. 546 00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:51,147 That's what you wanna do. - [Reggie] Right. 547 00:23:51,189 --> 00:23:52,018 - If you feel like that's what you need to do, 548 00:23:52,060 --> 00:23:55,427 then, hey, I can't stop you, you know? 549 00:23:55,469 --> 00:23:56,736 - [System Operator] Motion at your stick-up cam. 550 00:23:56,778 --> 00:23:59,387 (audio warps) 551 00:23:59,429 --> 00:24:02,680 [Reggie] Oh, that's that phone. 552 00:24:02,722 --> 00:24:05,095 If you can get it and put it on silent. 553 00:24:05,137 --> 00:24:06,387 We almost done. 554 00:24:07,810 --> 00:24:09,487 Otherwise it's gonna keep goin'. 555 00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:11,638 Okay. 556 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,083 [Reggie] Cool. We're almost done. 557 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,668 That was in 2003, that phone call. 558 00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:21,748 - 2003? - [Reggie] Yeah. 559 00:24:21,790 --> 00:24:23,803 That phone call was in 2003. 560 00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:27,403 Do you know what happened on my 25th birthday? 561 00:24:29,350 --> 00:24:31,721 No, what happened on your 25th birthday? 562 00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:35,013 [Reggie] So I get a call from my mom, 563 00:24:36,217 --> 00:24:38,323 and she tells me happy birthday, 564 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,095 but she starts crying. 565 00:24:42,137 --> 00:24:43,514 Why? 566 00:24:43,556 --> 00:24:45,720 [Reggie] That's exactly what... 567 00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:48,611 I'm like, "Why are you crying?" 568 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:50,758 And she's, I'm like, "It's my birthday. 569 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,707 Everything is good. Why are you crying?" 570 00:24:54,730 --> 00:24:57,067 And she's like, "Son, where we from?" 571 00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:02,698 It's very rare that we see our kids make it to 25. 572 00:25:02,740 --> 00:25:04,078 - [System Operator] Motion at your stick-up cam. 573 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:04,953 Oh, dang. 574 00:25:06,490 --> 00:25:08,850 [Reggie] So, um... 575 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,120 Yeah... 576 00:25:17,631 --> 00:25:18,422 [Reggie] It wasn't like 577 00:25:18,464 --> 00:25:19,858 it was a major thing that happened, 578 00:25:19,900 --> 00:25:24,763 but it was another thing to, that whole thing of, 579 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,668 obviously having both parents present 580 00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:33,028 will kinda like maybe reduce the fact of, 581 00:25:33,070 --> 00:25:35,885 you know, thinking that way. 582 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:38,553 'Cause you know, like a lot of us, 583 00:25:38,595 --> 00:25:41,128 a lot of my cousins without fathers, 584 00:25:41,170 --> 00:25:42,208 without parents and stuff, 585 00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:44,587 they land the streets and stuff like that. 586 00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:49,011 As far as I was concerned, 587 00:25:49,053 --> 00:25:50,938 that was never one of my concerns, 588 00:25:50,980 --> 00:25:52,183 about you running the streets, 589 00:25:52,225 --> 00:25:53,548 'cause that was not how you brought up, so... 590 00:25:53,590 --> 00:25:55,633 [Reggie] Right, right. Right. 591 00:25:57,241 --> 00:25:58,032 If you would have went in the streets 592 00:25:58,074 --> 00:25:59,608 and started doing that, I'd have been shocked 593 00:25:59,650 --> 00:26:00,958 because that wasn't how you were brought up. 594 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,888 [Reggie] Right. 595 00:26:01,930 --> 00:26:03,418 That wasn't how I was brought up. 596 00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:05,788 And also, you know, 597 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:09,808 you knew I had a strong mother figure in my life. 598 00:26:09,850 --> 00:26:10,641 Yeah. 599 00:26:10,683 --> 00:26:11,788 [Reggie] And that's another thing 600 00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:13,408 that I respect about you, man. 601 00:26:13,450 --> 00:26:17,728 Like, you acknowledged that she, 602 00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:20,638 regardless of what type of relationship y'all had 603 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,317 or she had with other people, with you, and her mom, 604 00:26:25,570 --> 00:26:29,968 like you knew that she had me, you know- 605 00:26:30,010 --> 00:26:31,678 - Covered, yeah. - [Reggie] Exactly. 606 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,078 - I could go to bed, sleep easily every night peacefully 607 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,087 because I knew you was in good hand. 608 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,275 I never had to worry about you, you know? 609 00:26:41,317 --> 00:26:42,583 [Reggie] Right. 610 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:44,698 She had already told me. 611 00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:48,274 I mean, she had her ways about you. 612 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:49,370 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 613 00:26:49,412 --> 00:26:52,651 You know, as if you was her only one. 614 00:26:52,693 --> 00:26:54,208 And that's how she treated you- 615 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:55,288 [Reggie] Right. 616 00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:57,968 - And like, there will never be anymore for me. 617 00:26:58,010 --> 00:27:00,628 I'm like, come on, man. Give the man a break here. 618 00:27:00,670 --> 00:27:02,203 [Reggie] Yeah, yeah. 619 00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:05,218 Yeah, man, that's pretty much it. 620 00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:08,548 Is there anything else that you wanna ask me 621 00:27:08,590 --> 00:27:11,218 or you got any questions or anything like that? 622 00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:13,048 I should've been asking you questions 623 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,038 as you were asking me. 624 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,973 But now I got a brain fog. 625 00:27:16,886 --> 00:27:19,228 (Reggie laughs) 626 00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:21,778 - [Reggie] Of course, it always happens like that. 627 00:27:21,820 --> 00:27:24,057 Oh, yeah. I'm proud of you. 628 00:27:24,099 --> 00:27:27,058 I'm extremely proud of you and what you've become. 629 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:29,578 'Cause I mean, you could've easily went left. 630 00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:31,618 - [Reggie] Right. - You know? 631 00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:34,558 You could have easily went out there and was... 632 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:35,488 Wait a minute, I mean, Reggie... 633 00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:39,208 And who I think, you know, a while back Randy asked me 634 00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:40,337 where you was at. 635 00:27:40,379 --> 00:27:42,211 I say, "Reggie, out in California." 636 00:27:42,253 --> 00:27:43,150 He said, "Is he coming back?" 637 00:27:43,192 --> 00:27:44,038 I said, "I doubt it." 638 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,318 No, that was Fred. Fred asked me that. 639 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,458 - [Reggie] Fred? - Yeah. 640 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:48,291 [Reggie] Okay. 641 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,188 - Yes, I doubt if he ever come back to Belle Glade 642 00:27:50,230 --> 00:27:51,718 to live, you know? 643 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:52,768 State of Florida to live. 644 00:27:52,810 --> 00:27:54,949 But, yeah, he out there doing what he do. 645 00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:56,128 He doin' well out there. 646 00:27:56,170 --> 00:27:57,178 I told him you was in movies, 647 00:27:57,220 --> 00:27:58,925 starring in movies and all that. 648 00:27:58,967 --> 00:28:00,808 And he was like proud of you. 649 00:28:00,850 --> 00:28:02,368 - [Reggie] Right. - Yeah. 650 00:28:02,410 --> 00:28:04,048 [Reggie] That's cool. 651 00:28:04,090 --> 00:28:05,155 Yeah, that's cool. 652 00:28:05,197 --> 00:28:08,548 And part of that reason why, the reason why that is, 653 00:28:08,590 --> 00:28:13,590 is because, you know, obviously that upbringing of my mom 654 00:28:15,273 --> 00:28:17,998 and her having that core on me, 655 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,930 but the years when we started our relationship 656 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,193 from that phone call in 2003, 657 00:28:25,145 --> 00:28:27,562 you know, that allowed me to, 658 00:28:28,857 --> 00:28:32,773 you know, be a little bit more focused. 659 00:28:32,815 --> 00:28:36,858 Because my friend had taught me somethin' that, 660 00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:39,400 she was just like, "Look, man, 661 00:28:40,266 --> 00:28:42,377 I can't call my dad, he's dead." 662 00:28:42,419 --> 00:28:43,472 Yeah. 663 00:28:43,514 --> 00:28:45,002 [Reggie] And sometimes in life, man, 664 00:28:45,044 --> 00:28:48,525 a lot of times in life we don't think about that stuff 665 00:28:48,567 --> 00:28:49,859 until people are gone. 666 00:28:49,901 --> 00:28:53,347 And I don't wanna be that person living in regret, 667 00:28:53,389 --> 00:28:55,729 being like, "I wish would," "I wish I," 668 00:28:55,771 --> 00:28:59,729 just sit over a simple phone call or a simple, you know? 669 00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:02,263 So I'm really grateful for her. 670 00:29:03,460 --> 00:29:04,798 I'm really grateful for you. 671 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,973 I appreciate, you know, you 672 00:29:08,015 --> 00:29:12,175 and how you come around and opened up 673 00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:14,773 and acknowledged that stuff. 674 00:29:15,782 --> 00:29:18,913 It's very powerful. It really is. 675 00:29:18,955 --> 00:29:21,122 And sometimes, you know... 676 00:29:23,347 --> 00:29:24,943 Reggie, it's okay. 677 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,038 It's okay, man. (tender music) 678 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:29,913 It's okay. 679 00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:32,878 You don't got no flamboyant daddy. 680 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,173 I'm just 'ol country bumpkin daddy. 681 00:29:36,610 --> 00:29:37,789 I'm very proud of you. 682 00:29:37,831 --> 00:29:40,035 I mean, I couldn't ask for a better son. 683 00:29:40,077 --> 00:29:41,968 I never went to jailhouse, 684 00:29:42,010 --> 00:29:44,335 never had to come to the school, 685 00:29:44,377 --> 00:29:47,503 you know, never had to have nobody else bring you home. 686 00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,358 You know, a lot of people can't, 687 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,090 I know a lot of my classmates 688 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,657 wish they had a son like I had, you know? 689 00:29:59,121 --> 00:30:00,913 I mean, 'cause it ain't bragging when it's true, you know? 690 00:30:00,955 --> 00:30:01,787 [Reggie] Yeah. 691 00:30:01,829 --> 00:30:04,210 - [Jernigan Sr.] But it's okay to let your emotions go. 692 00:30:04,252 --> 00:30:05,502 Yeah, I know. 693 00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,179 And, man, I appreciate 694 00:30:09,077 --> 00:30:10,411 you being the way you've been, you know? 695 00:30:13,099 --> 00:30:13,890 [Jernigan Sr.] It's okay. 696 00:30:13,932 --> 00:30:18,388 - I had a friend two days ago, yesterday actually, 697 00:30:18,430 --> 00:30:20,402 he posted something on Instagram 698 00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:25,393 about how his dad has been dead for the past three years. 699 00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:31,011 And it was ironic because I came out here 700 00:30:31,053 --> 00:30:33,253 to have this conversation with you, 701 00:30:34,150 --> 00:30:35,138 and then he said that. 702 00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:39,413 And I told him, I'm like, "Man, look, you stay strong." 703 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:43,045 Do what your dad told you to do. 704 00:30:43,087 --> 00:30:46,615 "And you got it. Just keep going." 705 00:30:46,657 --> 00:30:49,108 And I appreciated his message, 706 00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:51,538 and it made me realize how blessed 707 00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:53,908 that I still have my dad. 708 00:30:53,950 --> 00:30:55,340 [Jernigan Sr.] Oh, yeah. 709 00:30:55,382 --> 00:30:57,208 And yeah, man. 710 00:30:57,250 --> 00:31:01,153 And then with this, I guess we can take our first picture. 711 00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:03,151 Mm. 712 00:31:03,193 --> 00:31:05,276 [Reggie] So, thank you. 713 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,108 So I'll go over there 714 00:31:07,150 --> 00:31:12,150 and get our little first picture together. 715 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,818 How you gonna do that? 716 00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:16,858 I mean, I'll do it in the editing. 717 00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:21,900 I'll just come over here and be like right here. (sniffles) 718 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,773 Me and my dad, we got our first picture together. (sniffles) 719 00:31:27,815 --> 00:31:28,606 (camera clicks) 720 00:31:28,648 --> 00:31:31,102 In what, 40 somethin' years? 721 00:31:31,144 --> 00:31:32,428 40 somethin' years. 722 00:31:32,470 --> 00:31:34,633 It's possible. It's possible. 723 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,322 - Keep going. - Love you. 724 00:31:37,364 --> 00:31:38,155 I love you more. 725 00:31:38,197 --> 00:31:39,918 - [Reggie] All right. - Love you more. 726 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,926 Can I get a drink now? 727 00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:43,122 [Reggie] Yeah. 728 00:31:43,164 --> 00:31:43,955 (both laugh) 729 00:31:43,997 --> 00:31:44,788 Got some pressure cookers 730 00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:47,608 up on them cameras, man. (laughs) 731 00:31:47,650 --> 00:31:49,108 And like, you know, you weren't even asking 732 00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:50,100 the hard questions. 733 00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:52,978 - [Reggie] I mean, you know, I thought that- 734 00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:53,853 My mic off? 735 00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:12,760 (camera clicks) 736 00:32:12,802 --> 00:32:14,128 [Reggie] Can you tell us your name? 737 00:32:14,170 --> 00:32:17,053 My name is Dr. Jamie Geronimo Vela. 738 00:32:18,190 --> 00:32:19,023 [Reggie] Cool. 739 00:32:20,260 --> 00:32:23,863 So, Jamie, do you have any pictures with your father? 740 00:32:24,850 --> 00:32:27,088 Well, I do have a couple pictures, 741 00:32:27,130 --> 00:32:30,377 but it was my father and my brothers and me. 742 00:32:30,419 --> 00:32:31,557 - [Reggie] So it's just- 743 00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:32,878 So I don't have any pictures 744 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,558 with me and him by ourselves. 745 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,095 - [Reggie] So that's what we're focused on, just you and- 746 00:32:38,137 --> 00:32:38,998 And my dad. 747 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,840 Yeah, I don't have any pictures with just the two of us. 748 00:32:42,758 --> 00:32:44,861 [Reggie] Is there a reason why or... 749 00:32:44,903 --> 00:32:47,368 Well, it's my perception of what I, 750 00:32:47,410 --> 00:32:49,363 the reason I think it is, is, 751 00:32:52,531 --> 00:32:54,898 you know, my parents were divorced when I was very young, 752 00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,713 so he wasn't around much. 753 00:32:59,380 --> 00:33:03,868 So I don't remember that much of a time 754 00:33:03,910 --> 00:33:07,408 where me and him were ever together that much. 755 00:33:07,450 --> 00:33:12,450 And I was always kind of a disappointment to him 756 00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,658 compared to my other brothers, because, 757 00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:19,048 I mean, even to this day, I do things my way. 758 00:33:19,090 --> 00:33:21,355 I'm different than my brothers. 759 00:33:21,397 --> 00:33:24,793 They're more sensible, disciplined. 760 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,708 They're just smarter about their choices 761 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,468 than I was back then. 762 00:33:34,510 --> 00:33:37,228 And it doesn't matter what I did. 763 00:33:37,270 --> 00:33:39,478 I was always trying to do stuff to impress him, 764 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,038 but it never really worked. 765 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:46,080 So he didn't really spend any time with me. 766 00:33:46,870 --> 00:33:48,898 Not like, because my brother tells me stories 767 00:33:48,940 --> 00:33:50,878 when they used to have conversations 768 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,068 and would talk and everything. - Mm-hmm. 769 00:33:53,110 --> 00:33:54,830 I never had that with my dad. 770 00:33:54,872 --> 00:33:56,325 - He never talked to me. - [Reggie] So you think 771 00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:57,628 he was that way with you 772 00:33:57,670 --> 00:33:59,443 because you were different? 773 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,180 Yeah, I was a disappointment to him. 774 00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:04,798 [Reggie] You were a disappointment 775 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,328 because you were different? 776 00:34:06,370 --> 00:34:08,308 'Cause I was different, yes. 777 00:34:08,350 --> 00:34:09,238 [Reggie] Wow. 778 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,608 I wanted to do things differently 779 00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:14,458 than my other brothers. 780 00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:16,045 The only thing that I was good at 781 00:34:16,087 --> 00:34:21,087 was I pursued education, which he was big on education, 782 00:34:24,034 --> 00:34:27,273 but I didn't really do that until later. 783 00:34:28,390 --> 00:34:31,108 But the thing is, is, you know, I get it, 784 00:34:31,150 --> 00:34:34,408 we grew up and he wasn't around much. 785 00:34:34,450 --> 00:34:35,848 Me and him didn't have real connection 786 00:34:35,890 --> 00:34:38,368 because of his disappointment 787 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:41,248 and in the decisions I would make. 788 00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:42,778 You know, getting into trouble, 789 00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:45,628 you know, just because I had a problem with authority. 790 00:34:45,670 --> 00:34:48,508 I didn't like doing what people told me to do. 791 00:34:48,550 --> 00:34:49,888 And I would get in trouble. 792 00:34:49,930 --> 00:34:51,838 And my other brothers were smart. 793 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,908 They were making the right decisions, 794 00:34:53,950 --> 00:34:55,588 doing the right things sensibly, 795 00:34:55,630 --> 00:34:58,138 career-wise and financially, than I was. 796 00:34:58,180 --> 00:35:00,208 [Reggie] So even at an early age, though, 797 00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:02,503 like, you know, when you're a child, 798 00:35:04,630 --> 00:35:08,473 when you don't know better and you're different, 799 00:35:09,550 --> 00:35:14,550 he still had that insight, that mindset about you. 800 00:35:16,630 --> 00:35:17,938 That's just tough, man. 801 00:35:17,980 --> 00:35:19,198 I'm sorry you had to go through that, 802 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:23,248 because it's like you're young, you're a kid, you know? 803 00:35:23,290 --> 00:35:24,478 Yeah. 804 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,608 [Reggie] How do you feel about that now? 805 00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,438 Well, at the time growing up, back then, 806 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,358 I didn't pay much attention to it. 807 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,548 But later on in life 808 00:35:32,590 --> 00:35:36,118 and then, you know, in present, 809 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,538 presently, it's like I've come to terms with it. 810 00:35:39,580 --> 00:35:41,788 I mean, it's like I used to, 811 00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:44,578 I just know he would not, 812 00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:47,098 even right now, I finished my PhD, 813 00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:49,828 pursuing acting and everything, 814 00:35:49,870 --> 00:35:52,948 I still feel like he would not be proud. 815 00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:55,108 You know, I hate the word proud, to be proud of me, 816 00:35:55,150 --> 00:35:58,978 but I still think he would just think I was a disappointment 817 00:35:59,020 --> 00:36:01,318 and would probably have nothin' to do with me. 818 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:02,557 [Reggie] Really? 819 00:36:02,599 --> 00:36:04,078 Even with you accomplishing all that stuff? 820 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,488 Yep. 821 00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:10,530 Because I did it, in what would be his mindset, 822 00:36:10,780 --> 00:36:11,863 the wrong way. 823 00:36:12,820 --> 00:36:14,293 Because in his mindset, 824 00:36:14,335 --> 00:36:16,708 it shouldn't have took me this long to do it. 825 00:36:16,750 --> 00:36:18,241 Just like I had this conversation with my brother, 826 00:36:18,283 --> 00:36:21,688 it's like even he, 827 00:36:21,730 --> 00:36:24,343 because he has the mindset my father did, 828 00:36:26,363 --> 00:36:27,928 you know, you graduate right away, 829 00:36:27,970 --> 00:36:30,328 you go to work, you make a career, 830 00:36:30,370 --> 00:36:31,528 make money, and everything. 831 00:36:31,570 --> 00:36:34,078 You set up, you buy a house, you get a family. 832 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:38,472 I didn't do that. I pursued my dreams. 833 00:36:38,514 --> 00:36:39,808 - [Reggie] Right. - What I wanted to do, 834 00:36:39,850 --> 00:36:42,628 which, in their eyes, is not smart. 835 00:36:42,670 --> 00:36:45,388 So I've gone through life with, you know, struggling, 836 00:36:45,430 --> 00:36:49,198 barely getting by, but I was doing what I love to do. 837 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,728 [Reggie] Right. 838 00:36:50,770 --> 00:36:52,378 - And I had to point that out to my brother's, 839 00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:54,847 like, "Look, you guys see me as a failure," 840 00:36:57,790 --> 00:36:59,608 because I'm not making this big money 841 00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:02,698 and everything like they are, and I don't have much, 842 00:37:02,740 --> 00:37:04,198 but I don't need much. 843 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:06,883 So they have the mindset of my dad, 844 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,608 and that's why he was so connected to them and not me. 845 00:37:11,650 --> 00:37:14,038 Because I wanted to pursue the dreams, 846 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,948 I wanted to do somethin' that I love doing. 847 00:37:16,990 --> 00:37:17,781 [Reggie] Right. 848 00:37:17,823 --> 00:37:21,988 - But that's not in the disciplined mindset, 849 00:37:22,030 --> 00:37:24,328 career goals plan. 850 00:37:24,370 --> 00:37:25,624 - [Reggie] Right. - You know, 851 00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:27,418 I like to do things differently. 852 00:37:27,460 --> 00:37:29,398 You know, I think outside the box. 853 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,868 I don't follow that discipline trajectory track that... 854 00:37:33,910 --> 00:37:36,148 And granted, I don't blame him for having that mindset. 855 00:37:36,190 --> 00:37:38,248 I mean, he grew up, you know, 856 00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:41,908 having to deal with gangs, right, in southern Texas. 857 00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:44,998 - [Reggie] Oh, your dad, was he a part of 'em or? 858 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,198 No, he wasn't a part of 'em, 859 00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:48,958 but he had to deal with them always trying to recruit him, 860 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,938 and him fighting back and saying no. 861 00:37:50,980 --> 00:37:54,193 So he went into the military when he was 17. 862 00:37:55,262 --> 00:37:58,078 He had his mom sign for him, and he got outta there. 863 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,898 So he retired Air Force. 864 00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:02,728 He was a career goal because, 865 00:38:02,770 --> 00:38:04,798 and while he was doing that, he was getting his master's 866 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,558 and he was working on his PhD when he died. 867 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:08,938 [Reggie] Right. 868 00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:13,980 - So at this point, I've said, you know what? 869 00:38:14,437 --> 00:38:18,778 I'm not worried about did I make my parents proud of me, 870 00:38:18,820 --> 00:38:20,188 my brother's proud of me. 871 00:38:20,230 --> 00:38:21,658 It's not about them. 872 00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:23,878 - [Reggie] Right. - I focus on, "You know what?" 873 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:25,478 "It's me." - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 874 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,478 - Did I do the right things? - [Reggie] Right. 875 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:31,288 - Am I doing what I love to do and what I want to do? Yes. 876 00:38:31,330 --> 00:38:33,688 I don't make a lot of money, I don't have a lot, 877 00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:35,068 but I don't need a lot. 878 00:38:35,110 --> 00:38:36,868 That's not a priority for me. 879 00:38:36,910 --> 00:38:39,328 Priority for me is to live in every day 880 00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:42,838 doing somethin' that I love to do and making a difference. 881 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,258 [Reggie] What do you think allowed you 882 00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:47,548 to have that insight? 883 00:38:47,590 --> 00:38:51,448 Because that's a great insight to have 884 00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:54,538 granted, you know, what you've gone through, 885 00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:56,668 all that stuff you've gone through, 886 00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:59,038 where does that come from? 887 00:38:59,080 --> 00:38:59,998 After you've been through 888 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:00,901 all that stuff you've been through, 889 00:39:00,943 --> 00:39:03,448 with your dad and him not approving of you, 890 00:39:03,490 --> 00:39:06,688 even now when you've accomplished 891 00:39:06,730 --> 00:39:09,508 all this stuff that you accomplished, 892 00:39:09,550 --> 00:39:13,378 getting a PhD, that's a hard thing to do. 893 00:39:13,420 --> 00:39:17,368 So where do you get that in you to be like, "You know what? 894 00:39:17,410 --> 00:39:19,648 Regardless of what he thought, would've thought, 895 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,268 regardless of what they think, 896 00:39:21,310 --> 00:39:26,008 I'm still good with what I've done," 897 00:39:26,050 --> 00:39:28,108 and none of that stuff bothers you, 898 00:39:28,150 --> 00:39:29,503 where does that come from? 899 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,768 It probably came to me because of God. 900 00:39:34,810 --> 00:39:35,698 [Reggie] Mm. 901 00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:37,258 Because God is my father. 902 00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:38,368 [Reggie] Mm. 903 00:39:38,410 --> 00:39:41,008 And that's the way I approach life now. 904 00:39:41,050 --> 00:39:42,088 God is my father. 905 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:44,368 Yes, he was my biological father, 906 00:39:44,410 --> 00:39:47,398 but the only person that I worry 907 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,528 about doing the right thing for is God. 908 00:39:49,570 --> 00:39:50,548 [Reggie] Right. 909 00:39:50,590 --> 00:39:54,808 - And in my mindset, God is okay with what I'm doing 910 00:39:54,850 --> 00:39:57,628 because I feel like I've made a difference 911 00:39:57,670 --> 00:39:59,788 in lots of different areas of life. 912 00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:00,898 [Reggie] Right. 913 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,743 And so God is my father. 914 00:40:03,940 --> 00:40:06,328 And with that perspective, 915 00:40:06,370 --> 00:40:09,220 I don't worry about pride and somebody being proud of me. 916 00:40:10,660 --> 00:40:12,988 That's irrelevant, because I don't have, 917 00:40:13,030 --> 00:40:14,338 I try not to have an ego, 918 00:40:14,380 --> 00:40:16,348 although I think everybody has an ego on something. 919 00:40:16,390 --> 00:40:17,694 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 920 00:40:17,736 --> 00:40:21,328 - But I look at it as being confident in certain things. 921 00:40:21,370 --> 00:40:22,520 But... [Reggie] Right. 922 00:40:24,396 --> 00:40:26,008 You said that those two words, 923 00:40:26,050 --> 00:40:30,568 that's very important in this documentary, pride and ego, 924 00:40:30,610 --> 00:40:34,378 do you think that, within your dad, 925 00:40:34,420 --> 00:40:37,678 that he embodied those words 926 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,918 and that kinda held him back from, 927 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,993 you know, being as he should be with you? 928 00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:50,460 - I think that I definitely didn't make him proud. 929 00:40:50,530 --> 00:40:54,020 And I feel like it's his pride 930 00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:58,183 that prevented him from actually, 931 00:40:59,260 --> 00:41:02,038 you know, acknowledging me as doing, 932 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,788 you know, just because he has a mindset 933 00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:07,929 and you're supposed to do it that way- 934 00:41:07,971 --> 00:41:09,778 - [Reggie] Right. - And any other way is wrong. 935 00:41:09,820 --> 00:41:11,971 - [Reggie] Right. - You're messin' up. 936 00:41:12,013 --> 00:41:14,683 So I feel like he was not proud of me. 937 00:41:15,730 --> 00:41:17,638 And that pride just, 938 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,588 and the thing is, is now, 939 00:41:19,630 --> 00:41:21,058 you know, he's passed away from cancer, 940 00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:25,498 so I can't even go back and have a conversation with him. 941 00:41:25,540 --> 00:41:28,468 - Sorry to hear that. - So to find out, 942 00:41:28,510 --> 00:41:31,528 even though I'm pretty sure he would not be proud of me, 943 00:41:31,570 --> 00:41:34,858 and would probably still not have anything to do with me 944 00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:37,018 to this day, even if he was alive. 945 00:41:37,060 --> 00:41:38,668 - [Reggie] Mm. - But you know what? 946 00:41:38,710 --> 00:41:40,790 - I've come to terms with that. - [Reggie] Right. 947 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:41,623 I'm like, you know, it's okay. 948 00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:43,558 I'm not here to try and impress anybody. 949 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,838 I'm not here to make people proud of me. 950 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:50,308 I'm here to do what I can in life 951 00:41:50,350 --> 00:41:51,625 and make a difference. 952 00:41:51,667 --> 00:41:53,908 And the only person I look to 953 00:41:53,950 --> 00:41:58,333 that I feel like I want to be worthy of is God. 954 00:41:59,230 --> 00:42:02,338 And He's the only one I focus on, 955 00:42:02,380 --> 00:42:04,738 trying to do the right thing is for Him. 956 00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:06,718 Or, you know, God, spirit. 957 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,548 - [Reggie] Awesome. - So 958 00:42:08,590 --> 00:42:10,678 that's what I focus on in what I do. 959 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:12,378 [Reggie] I commend you for that, man. 960 00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:17,368 'Cause it's very hard to go through that type of childhood 961 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:22,198 and still have that strength within to continue 962 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,478 and continue to believe what you believe. 963 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,838 Although people, certain people in your past 964 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,758 wanted you to believe other things 965 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,778 and do things as the way they thought it should be, 966 00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:38,068 still finding your own truth, your own self, 967 00:42:38,110 --> 00:42:39,148 that's what matters. 968 00:42:39,190 --> 00:42:41,098 And regardless of what happens, 969 00:42:41,140 --> 00:42:44,128 like you said, you've made amends 970 00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:47,638 and you've done it the way that you wanted to do it 971 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,098 and that's all that matters. 972 00:42:50,140 --> 00:42:51,943 So you keep going with that, man. 973 00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:54,866 That's what I'm trying to do. 974 00:42:54,908 --> 00:42:55,699 [Reggie] Yeah, yeah. 975 00:42:55,741 --> 00:42:59,323 - Sometimes, you know, with everything out there, 976 00:43:00,490 --> 00:43:02,098 it's hard for it not to come up. 977 00:43:02,140 --> 00:43:02,931 - [Reggie] Right. - You know? 978 00:43:02,973 --> 00:43:04,640 So those feelings will come up 979 00:43:05,559 --> 00:43:07,648 that I'm a big disappointment to him. 980 00:43:07,690 --> 00:43:09,388 - [Reggie] Right. - Because he's been dead 981 00:43:09,430 --> 00:43:13,933 for over a decade, but I still, 982 00:43:15,222 --> 00:43:17,758 all of those thoughts will come into my head, 983 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,948 you know, that I'm a big disappointment. 984 00:43:19,990 --> 00:43:24,990 So I've got to constantly tell myself that I am not. 985 00:43:25,330 --> 00:43:26,398 [Reggie] Right, exactly. 986 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,098 Because of God. (camera clicks) 987 00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:30,640 [Reggie] So Shannon Johnson. 988 00:43:31,750 --> 00:43:33,388 How you doin' today, sir? 989 00:43:33,430 --> 00:43:34,708 - Great, sir. - [Reggie] Awesome. 990 00:43:34,750 --> 00:43:36,808 - I'm doing well. - [Reggie] Awesome. 991 00:43:36,850 --> 00:43:41,850 So do you have any pictures with your father? 992 00:43:44,860 --> 00:43:47,623 Unfortunately, no. 993 00:43:48,700 --> 00:43:50,173 No pictures with my father. 994 00:43:53,644 --> 00:43:56,550 [Reggie] Is there a reason why or... 995 00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:02,233 Yeah, the reason, and it goes back, 996 00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:06,058 I didn't grow up with my father. 997 00:44:06,100 --> 00:44:07,378 I didn't know him. 998 00:44:07,420 --> 00:44:11,698 I only heard of him, as strange as that might sound. 999 00:44:11,740 --> 00:44:14,263 But never grew up with him. 1000 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,403 I saw him, but he wasn't in my life. 1001 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,633 [Reggie] Mm. 1002 00:44:23,140 --> 00:44:25,227 Why wasn't he in your life? 1003 00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:28,880 Well, I think that story starts 1004 00:44:30,130 --> 00:44:32,548 maybe I was six months old, 1005 00:44:32,590 --> 00:44:37,123 when my mother separated from my father, or divorced. 1006 00:44:39,820 --> 00:44:44,248 Yeah, and I was too young to actually know 1007 00:44:44,290 --> 00:44:46,228 who he was at the time. 1008 00:44:46,270 --> 00:44:49,243 But I heard a lot about him. 1009 00:44:50,260 --> 00:44:51,598 A lot about him. 1010 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,338 - [Reggie] Right, when you say you heard a lot about him, 1011 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:54,328 it seems like a smile, 1012 00:44:54,370 --> 00:44:56,158 you got a little smile on your face. 1013 00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:01,200 Can you tell us what's that smile's coming from? 1014 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:06,083 Yeah, I had a father or, 1015 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:12,600 and of course my father has passed the last maybe 10 years. 1016 00:45:15,190 --> 00:45:16,918 I heard things about him. 1017 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,618 And there wasn't more so good things, 1018 00:45:19,660 --> 00:45:24,628 but, as I got older, I would see him. 1019 00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:29,383 And seeing him, it wasn't what I really expected. 1020 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,028 Yeah, it wasn't what I really expected. 1021 00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:38,668 And, you know, my mother didn't speak any negativity 1022 00:45:38,710 --> 00:45:39,763 about my father. 1023 00:45:41,290 --> 00:45:44,698 But the stories I heard kinda dictated the narrative 1024 00:45:44,740 --> 00:45:49,228 of who he was as a man 1025 00:45:49,270 --> 00:45:51,943 and where I come from. 1026 00:45:53,410 --> 00:45:54,568 [Reggie] Got you. 1027 00:45:54,610 --> 00:45:59,610 So there's no childhood memories of him, being with him, 1028 00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:03,598 no picture camera, you know, you guys being together, 1029 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,023 anything of that sort? 1030 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,508 No memories whatsoever. 1031 00:46:09,550 --> 00:46:10,858 Now there is one memory, 1032 00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:12,793 and I can share this memory with you. 1033 00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:19,588 It had somethin' to do with child support. 1034 00:46:19,630 --> 00:46:21,028 My mother was telling me some things 1035 00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:22,678 that happened at the court, 1036 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:26,848 and my father decided to pay a visit. 1037 00:46:26,890 --> 00:46:31,348 And within that visit, this is very interesting. 1038 00:46:31,390 --> 00:46:32,248 Within that visit, 1039 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:34,798 he was allowed to take me uptown on the bus. 1040 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:35,740 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1041 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,658 He took me uptown on the bus. 1042 00:46:39,700 --> 00:46:41,930 And I can remember vividly, 1043 00:46:46,728 --> 00:46:51,268 I may have been eight years old or so. 1044 00:46:51,310 --> 00:46:56,001 We're riding on the bus, he's asking me questions about, 1045 00:46:56,043 --> 00:46:57,538 you know, how are you, dah, dah, dah, dah. 1046 00:46:57,580 --> 00:46:59,623 You know, he don't know me. 1047 00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:06,575 And he says, 1048 00:47:06,617 --> 00:47:08,617 "You know you can call me dad, son." 1049 00:47:09,460 --> 00:47:11,758 Now, you know I don't know this guy. 1050 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:16,800 And I'm young, trying to understand. 1051 00:47:17,260 --> 00:47:19,828 At the same time, I have no negativity, 1052 00:47:19,870 --> 00:47:21,958 no negative feelings about him. 1053 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,508 But he said, "You can call me dad, son." 1054 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,518 And I'm like, "Okay." 1055 00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:31,560 And he pulls out this toy that he bought, 1056 00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,668 and it was this dump truck. (chuckles) 1057 00:47:35,710 --> 00:47:39,235 So he didn't know me, he brought a gift, 1058 00:47:39,277 --> 00:47:42,748 but I was way too, in age for that. 1059 00:47:42,790 --> 00:47:47,790 So that's the only memory that I have being with him. 1060 00:47:48,340 --> 00:47:53,340 Other than that, as I got older, I would see him, 1061 00:47:53,530 --> 00:47:55,528 and I would see him around town 1062 00:47:55,570 --> 00:47:57,643 in some of the most unpleasant places. 1063 00:48:00,250 --> 00:48:01,438 [Reggie] Got you. 1064 00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:04,003 So you never really had the point to like, 1065 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,858 you know, you guys didn't hang out. 1066 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,538 It never even got to that point. 1067 00:48:09,580 --> 00:48:12,448 'Cause I know, with me, like I hung out with my dad, 1068 00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:16,048 but, you know, I would go and visit here and there, 1069 00:48:16,090 --> 00:48:18,778 but at the same time, for whatever reason, 1070 00:48:18,820 --> 00:48:20,338 we never got a picture together. 1071 00:48:20,380 --> 00:48:22,138 Do you think that it's just something 1072 00:48:22,180 --> 00:48:25,768 within that male structure? 1073 00:48:25,810 --> 00:48:30,810 I mean, it doesn't have to be related towards ethnicity, 1074 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,498 but just that male structure in general 1075 00:48:34,540 --> 00:48:39,540 that doesn't allow us to open up to something like that or, 1076 00:48:39,820 --> 00:48:41,668 what do you think? 1077 00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:43,108 Right. 1078 00:48:43,150 --> 00:48:45,058 There's a dynamic to it 1079 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:48,223 when you really look at the structure of the family. 1080 00:48:49,270 --> 00:48:52,558 I grew up in what they call a matriarchal household, 1081 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,923 which has to do with the mother raising the kids. 1082 00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,618 You have what they call a patriarchal household as well, 1083 00:49:01,660 --> 00:49:03,568 which is the father raising the kid. 1084 00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,238 But my father wasn't there. My mother raised me. 1085 00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:09,493 When you look at the family dynamic and structure, 1086 00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,738 looking at it nowadays, 1087 00:49:13,780 --> 00:49:17,810 there's a lot of sons, daughters 1088 00:49:18,820 --> 00:49:22,168 and their fathers are absent from their life 1089 00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:27,210 because either they don't know who they are, 1090 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,800 they're running from their responsibilities. 1091 00:49:31,810 --> 00:49:36,058 Second, they have some challenges. 1092 00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:39,238 And from this side, or from this vantage point, 1093 00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:43,198 I don't know the challenges that, well, I know some of 'em, 1094 00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:46,168 but I don't know the challenges that most fathers face. 1095 00:49:46,210 --> 00:49:50,068 But with my father, he was an alcoholic. 1096 00:49:50,110 --> 00:49:50,901 [Reggie] Mm. 1097 00:49:50,943 --> 00:49:55,943 - And that pretty much, from my vantage point, 1098 00:49:56,140 --> 00:49:57,973 looking at it from the outside, 1099 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,038 it pretty much destroyed his life 1100 00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,818 in terms of, from what I heard, the fighting, 1101 00:50:05,860 --> 00:50:08,878 the going to jail, the different kinda things. 1102 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,505 And I said within myself, 1103 00:50:10,547 --> 00:50:13,798 "Look, I'm not gonna be like that." 1104 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,438 You know, those are the memories that I grasp. 1105 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:17,278 [Reggie] That's a good point. 1106 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,653 It leads me to one, like final little question. 1107 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:26,863 With doing this documentary, this interview with me, 1108 00:50:31,316 --> 00:50:34,798 does it make you wanna kinda, you probably, 1109 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,298 I'm pretty sure you already got pictures 1110 00:50:36,340 --> 00:50:38,008 with your sons and stuff like that, 1111 00:50:38,050 --> 00:50:41,045 but does it open your mind even more to like, 1112 00:50:41,087 --> 00:50:44,458 "Man, you know, maybe we gotta capture these memories," 1113 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:47,158 maybe, you know, talking to other people, 1114 00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,398 maybe that'll kinda, you know, affect someone else 1115 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,608 and be like, "Hey, man, maybe you should," you know? 1116 00:50:53,650 --> 00:50:55,468 Yeah. 1117 00:50:55,510 --> 00:50:58,333 To your point, yes. 1118 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:04,453 It is so important, you know, as a father, as a husband, 1119 00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:11,160 as a friend to just be there with your son. 1120 00:51:15,220 --> 00:51:18,118 These are moments you can't get back. 1121 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:23,160 From infant, toddler to a youth, to a young adult, 1122 00:51:26,380 --> 00:51:28,273 these are moments you can't get back. 1123 00:51:29,380 --> 00:51:32,218 And what I mean by that is, is that there are a lot of men 1124 00:51:32,260 --> 00:51:33,845 who think they have time, 1125 00:51:33,887 --> 00:51:36,358 "Oh, I can come back and I can step in 1126 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,998 to the child's life at any time," 1127 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,773 where what you're doing is you're taking a great risk. 1128 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:47,640 And that risk has to do with you don't know him or her 1129 00:51:48,010 --> 00:51:51,088 and you haven't developed a relationship. 1130 00:51:51,130 --> 00:51:54,508 So now you become an outsider. 1131 00:51:54,550 --> 00:51:58,768 As it relates to taking pictures, I do have pictures, 1132 00:51:58,810 --> 00:52:00,268 a lot of pictures with my son 1133 00:52:00,310 --> 00:52:02,083 because those was the moments. 1134 00:52:03,310 --> 00:52:05,142 [Reggie] You didn't have, 1135 00:52:05,184 --> 00:52:07,108 and you wanted to capture with him. 1136 00:52:07,150 --> 00:52:08,338 - I wanted to capture with him- 1137 00:52:08,380 --> 00:52:10,138 - [Reggie] Not to speak for you or anything like that, 1138 00:52:10,180 --> 00:52:13,498 but I know that that's the type of person you are. 1139 00:52:13,540 --> 00:52:15,040 - Right. - [Reggie] You know? 1140 00:52:15,970 --> 00:52:17,608 I go around and I ask people, 1141 00:52:17,650 --> 00:52:20,938 and, you know, a lot of people 1142 00:52:20,980 --> 00:52:25,468 that went through situations in life, 1143 00:52:25,510 --> 00:52:29,008 and they had with, you know, as them being children, 1144 00:52:29,050 --> 00:52:32,128 as them being kids or whatever, 1145 00:52:32,170 --> 00:52:34,918 the situations could've been dramatic, traumatic, 1146 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,958 whatever they may be. 1147 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,748 When they have kids of their own, 1148 00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:42,688 they always want to protect the fact 1149 00:52:42,730 --> 00:52:45,358 of their kids not going through what they went through. 1150 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,811 Right. 1151 00:52:46,853 --> 00:52:48,988 [Reggie] So that's why I say that. 1152 00:52:49,030 --> 00:52:51,283 Yeah, no, it's one of those things, 1153 00:52:52,141 --> 00:52:54,118 as like I said, being a father, 1154 00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,538 you recognize the unique position that you're in. 1155 00:52:57,580 --> 00:52:59,848 - [Reggie] Right. - That position is one, 1156 00:52:59,890 --> 00:53:00,940 that you're a leader. 1157 00:53:02,860 --> 00:53:07,798 They're looking up to you for stability and security. 1158 00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,068 You have a unprecedented role 1159 00:53:11,110 --> 00:53:12,958 or an extraordinary role in their life, 1160 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:17,878 meaning you can't be absent when it comes to your children. 1161 00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:18,770 [Reggie] Right. 1162 00:53:19,660 --> 00:53:20,998 It means the world to me, 1163 00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,488 Even when I see my kid taking pictures, 1164 00:53:23,530 --> 00:53:28,078 me running in front of the camera or me just touching him, 1165 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:29,368 those things are important. 1166 00:53:29,410 --> 00:53:33,088 And I have memories that's etched in time. 1167 00:53:33,130 --> 00:53:38,130 And not only that, I have proof, evidence that I was there 1168 00:53:38,290 --> 00:53:40,288 because I have photos. 1169 00:53:40,330 --> 00:53:41,280 [Reggie] Exactly. 1170 00:53:42,150 --> 00:53:42,941 (camera clicks) 1171 00:53:42,983 --> 00:53:43,774 What's up? What's up? 1172 00:53:43,816 --> 00:53:45,838 What's your name? - Giovanni. 1173 00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:47,513 [Reggie] Giovanni. 1174 00:53:47,555 --> 00:53:50,138 (both laugh) 1175 00:53:50,180 --> 00:53:52,131 No, bro, I appreciate your time. 1176 00:53:52,173 --> 00:53:52,964 Of course. 1177 00:53:53,006 --> 00:53:55,204 - [Reggie] And I know you working right now, 1178 00:53:55,246 --> 00:53:58,108 but I really appreciate your time you've taken out 1179 00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:01,558 to help with the documentary and everything like that. 1180 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,848 So tell us, do you have any pictures with your father? 1181 00:54:05,890 --> 00:54:07,498 I do not. I do not. 1182 00:54:07,540 --> 00:54:10,528 I do not have, not one single picture. 1183 00:54:10,570 --> 00:54:13,558 [Reggie] Is there a reason why? 1184 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,873 Or can you elaborate as to why you don't have any? 1185 00:54:18,430 --> 00:54:23,430 - I would say, just that, as I was born, parents separated. 1186 00:54:24,820 --> 00:54:28,109 You know, one went the other way 1187 00:54:28,151 --> 00:54:29,961 and then I stayed with my mother of course. 1188 00:54:30,003 --> 00:54:31,768 - Right, right, right. - Throughout the year, 1189 00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:34,813 it was never really a relationship built between us. 1190 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:41,608 I would say, all the way until I was about 17, I would say, 1191 00:54:41,650 --> 00:54:44,968 is when we actually kinda had some bonding time. 1192 00:54:45,010 --> 00:54:45,801 [Reggie] Right. 1193 00:54:45,843 --> 00:54:47,728 But even then it was no photos, 1194 00:54:47,770 --> 00:54:49,973 no pictures or anything like that. 1195 00:54:50,015 --> 00:54:54,448 - [Reggie] Okay, so it just never came up at all? 1196 00:54:54,490 --> 00:54:55,323 No. 1197 00:54:56,596 --> 00:54:57,808 [Reggie] Was there like a distance? 1198 00:54:57,850 --> 00:54:59,054 Yeah. 1199 00:54:59,096 --> 00:55:02,578 So our backstory, there was never 1200 00:55:02,620 --> 00:55:05,998 that initial confirmation of father and son. 1201 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,983 We knew it, but there was never that connection. 1202 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,598 It wasn't until later on. 1203 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:15,146 I mean, we knew it, it just wasn't, 1204 00:55:15,188 --> 00:55:17,608 you know, there was never an involvement from his side, 1205 00:55:17,650 --> 00:55:18,763 neither from my side. 1206 00:55:20,410 --> 00:55:22,378 [Reggie] How do you feel about that? 1207 00:55:22,420 --> 00:55:26,293 I would say the absence of him can bring, 1208 00:55:27,580 --> 00:55:30,373 I would say it's emotional damage. 1209 00:55:31,210 --> 00:55:34,520 I feel that it takes away 1210 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:40,198 from what you should have as growing up, the father figure. 1211 00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:41,308 [Reggie] Right. 1212 00:55:41,350 --> 00:55:45,988 - The parent, you know, the person you can go to as a man. 1213 00:55:46,030 --> 00:55:46,948 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1214 00:55:46,990 --> 00:55:49,498 So, you know, overall, I would say, 1215 00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:53,083 just a lot of emotional damage that, you know, kinda, 1216 00:55:56,980 --> 00:56:00,298 makes it difficult to even, you know, conversate about, 1217 00:56:00,340 --> 00:56:03,148 you know, even having a picture or anything, you know? 1218 00:56:03,190 --> 00:56:04,040 [Reggie] Right. 1219 00:56:05,260 --> 00:56:08,788 Did you know if your father had a lot of pride, 1220 00:56:08,830 --> 00:56:11,098 ego, is that- 1221 00:56:11,140 --> 00:56:13,528 I would say he has ego, I would say. 1222 00:56:13,570 --> 00:56:14,403 I would say 1223 00:56:19,780 --> 00:56:21,703 not necessarily that he, 1224 00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:24,748 I think he was more concerned 1225 00:56:24,790 --> 00:56:27,183 about making that initial approach. 1226 00:56:27,225 --> 00:56:28,016 [Reggie] Mm. 1227 00:56:28,058 --> 00:56:30,718 He, in a sense, felt, I would say, 1228 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,253 from what I feel from the time I spent with him, 1229 00:56:36,010 --> 00:56:39,883 he was concerned about if I would accept him or not. 1230 00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,158 [Reggie] So what did you feel? 1231 00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,888 I mean, obviously you're a kid, you're younger. 1232 00:56:46,930 --> 00:56:49,603 Did you feel that you should've approached him? 1233 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,768 Or did you feel that that's the responsibility 1234 00:56:52,810 --> 00:56:55,228 of the parent to do something like that? 1235 00:56:55,270 --> 00:56:57,838 - I would say, at a young age, it would be more 1236 00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,951 on the parents, on the father. 1237 00:57:00,993 --> 00:57:02,458 Father, yeah. 1238 00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:06,028 I would say that, as we grow older, 1239 00:57:06,070 --> 00:57:09,958 we need, you know, as young men and women, 1240 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,780 we need to take that pride away 1241 00:57:13,270 --> 00:57:16,348 even if it puts us in a different situation 1242 00:57:16,390 --> 00:57:18,208 or maybe we get that pushback. 1243 00:57:18,250 --> 00:57:19,168 - [Reggie] Right. - But I would say 1244 00:57:19,210 --> 00:57:22,408 it would be beneficial to do the first initial 1245 00:57:22,450 --> 00:57:24,256 if it hasn't been done, 1246 00:57:24,298 --> 00:57:27,508 'cause you never know what outcome can come about. 1247 00:57:27,550 --> 00:57:28,648 [Reggie] I completely agree. 1248 00:57:28,690 --> 00:57:31,888 Does it cause you to be different with your kids? 1249 00:57:31,930 --> 00:57:35,158 Like, do you take pictures with your kids now because of- 1250 00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,468 Oh, of course. Of course I do. 1251 00:57:37,510 --> 00:57:39,418 To be honest, I never really thought about it. 1252 00:57:39,460 --> 00:57:42,178 It wasn't until we had our initial conversation 1253 00:57:42,220 --> 00:57:45,088 about your documentary that where I kinda really, 1254 00:57:45,130 --> 00:57:46,678 you know, went back and I realized 1255 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,778 that I do take pictures with my kids. 1256 00:57:48,820 --> 00:57:49,768 [Reggie] Right. 1257 00:57:49,810 --> 00:57:53,087 - By themselves, or as a group, whatever the case might be. 1258 00:57:53,129 --> 00:57:56,938 But it gives me the push to be a better father for them. 1259 00:57:56,980 --> 00:57:59,261 Therefore, they can grow up with that, 1260 00:57:59,303 --> 00:58:01,468 you know, with a different mindset than myself. 1261 00:58:01,510 --> 00:58:02,360 [Reggie] Right. 1262 00:58:05,170 --> 00:58:07,280 If you had the opportunity right now 1263 00:58:08,260 --> 00:58:09,988 to reach out to your father 1264 00:58:10,030 --> 00:58:13,359 and just have a conversation with him, 1265 00:58:13,401 --> 00:58:15,148 and kinda like what I did, 1266 00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:17,668 to just have some unanswered questions 1267 00:58:17,710 --> 00:58:22,710 from your childhood answered, would you do that? 1268 00:58:23,110 --> 00:58:25,313 Or how do you feel about that? 1269 00:58:25,355 --> 00:58:27,448 Of course I do it in a heartbeat. 1270 00:58:27,490 --> 00:58:29,758 I wouldn't even think about it. 1271 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,083 [Reggie] Awesome. Awesome. 1272 00:58:33,970 --> 00:58:36,583 That's awesome, man. I appreciate you. 1273 00:58:37,512 --> 00:58:38,668 I appreciate your time. 1274 00:58:38,710 --> 00:58:42,148 And this is somethin' that we're all growing with. 1275 00:58:42,190 --> 00:58:45,148 Like I said, like I was telling the other guys, 1276 00:58:45,190 --> 00:58:46,618 I appreciate you guys 1277 00:58:46,660 --> 00:58:49,828 because it's allowing me to grow even more. 1278 00:58:49,870 --> 00:58:54,148 And I've discovered a lot about, you know, that dynamic 1279 00:58:54,190 --> 00:58:56,428 between the father and the son 1280 00:58:56,470 --> 00:58:58,438 and all that stuff in general, 1281 00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:01,348 and why, like, we don't do certain things. 1282 00:59:01,390 --> 00:59:04,888 And I'm just starting to find more, 1283 00:59:04,930 --> 00:59:07,948 that it is about the pride and the ego. 1284 00:59:07,990 --> 00:59:10,631 You know, like when I was talking to my dad, 1285 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:11,465 I told him, I'm like, 1286 00:59:11,507 --> 00:59:14,638 "So if I hadn't made that phone call to him 1287 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,698 back in Cincinnati," he even said it himself, 1288 00:59:17,740 --> 00:59:19,948 then we probably wouldn't be sitting right there 1289 00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:21,740 having that conversation, you know? 1290 00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,678 And all that is, is pride, you know? 1291 00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,658 That ego, you know? 1292 00:59:27,700 --> 00:59:32,700 So is there any message you wanna send 1293 00:59:33,010 --> 00:59:36,838 to the people out there, you know, 1294 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,828 who may run into this subject or who may see this film? 1295 00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:44,008 And, you know, anything you wanna say to them 1296 00:59:44,050 --> 00:59:45,868 from your experience? 1297 00:59:45,910 --> 00:59:48,688 I would say that there's nothing in life 1298 00:59:48,730 --> 00:59:51,478 that should allow you to be separated, 1299 00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:56,520 especially if your father, or your parents are still living. 1300 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,828 It's not worth delaying the day, a minute, or a second. 1301 01:00:04,870 --> 01:00:06,658 Happiness is within itself. 1302 01:00:06,700 --> 01:00:08,758 If you can, you know, figure out 1303 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,128 whatever disagreements you guys might've had 1304 01:00:11,170 --> 01:00:14,683 or maybe just no involvement in itself, 1305 01:00:15,940 --> 01:00:20,548 it's worth putting that aside and living, 1306 01:00:20,590 --> 01:00:22,108 you know, an extra day with your parents 1307 01:00:22,150 --> 01:00:24,448 because you never know what could happen. 1308 01:00:24,490 --> 01:00:26,983 It could literally change in a heartbeat. 1309 01:00:28,330 --> 01:00:30,538 Within a split second, you know, they could be gone 1310 01:00:30,580 --> 01:00:32,608 and the opportunity could be lost forever. 1311 01:00:32,650 --> 01:00:34,053 [Reggie] Right. 1312 01:00:34,095 --> 01:00:34,886 My opportunity was lost, 1313 01:00:34,928 --> 01:00:36,928 but, you know, I'm here with my kids 1314 01:00:36,970 --> 01:00:38,218 and I'm ensuring that, 1315 01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:40,888 you know, they can have that father figure. 1316 01:00:40,930 --> 01:00:41,938 [Reggie] And that's what it's about. 1317 01:00:41,980 --> 01:00:46,648 It's about us learning and not continuing that cycle 1318 01:00:46,690 --> 01:00:50,488 of, you know, not approaching 1319 01:00:50,530 --> 01:00:53,068 or having the pride, having the ego. 1320 01:00:53,110 --> 01:00:55,228 That's the cycle that we wanna break. 1321 01:00:55,270 --> 01:00:59,668 Because, ultimately, we break that cycle, 1322 01:00:59,710 --> 01:01:02,038 it's exactly what you just said, 1323 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,828 we can be more free within ourself, 1324 01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:08,638 that personal freedom, that growth within ourselves, 1325 01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:10,258 to be like, "You know what? 1326 01:01:10,300 --> 01:01:14,788 I don't have to, you know, regret because I tried. 1327 01:01:14,830 --> 01:01:16,510 I made that attempt." 1328 01:01:16,552 --> 01:01:18,448 And if it works out, it works out. 1329 01:01:18,490 --> 01:01:19,498 If it doesn't, it doesn't. 1330 01:01:19,540 --> 01:01:20,331 At the end of the day, 1331 01:01:20,373 --> 01:01:23,308 it's all about making the attempt, trying- 1332 01:01:23,350 --> 01:01:24,538 - Of course. - [Reggie] Doing your part. 1333 01:01:24,580 --> 01:01:26,218 - Appreciate you, brother. - Yeah, of course. Thank you. 1334 01:01:26,260 --> 01:01:27,363 [Reggie] Thank you, man. 1335 01:01:29,118 --> 01:01:29,909 (camera clicks) 1336 01:01:29,951 --> 01:01:30,784 J.Q. 1337 01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,898 What's up, big dawg? How you doin'? 1338 01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:35,668 I'm doing fine. Thank you, yeah. 1339 01:01:35,710 --> 01:01:37,020 [Reggie] Cool, man. 1340 01:01:37,062 --> 01:01:37,858 Thanks for being here. 1341 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:41,510 Thanks for, you know, taking your time out 1342 01:01:42,550 --> 01:01:44,548 to help me with this. 1343 01:01:44,590 --> 01:01:47,308 And like I said before, 1344 01:01:47,350 --> 01:01:50,518 I asked you if you had any pictures with your father, 1345 01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,483 and you told me you didn't. 1346 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,213 Can you explain why? 1347 01:01:56,620 --> 01:01:59,458 - Well, the situation started at a young age. 1348 01:01:59,500 --> 01:02:04,193 My mother and him got a little rocky, you know, start. 1349 01:02:09,247 --> 01:02:13,798 I'm the last one of the three, first three actually. 1350 01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:15,478 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1351 01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:20,520 - At one point, my father was a classic macho Mexican guy. 1352 01:02:21,891 --> 01:02:24,245 You know, his background always been, 1353 01:02:24,287 --> 01:02:26,233 you know, kinda like rough. 1354 01:02:28,390 --> 01:02:30,718 He pushed my mother at one point 1355 01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:35,760 to actually abandon, you know, the phone 1356 01:02:36,070 --> 01:02:40,288 and asked, in one point, one of my brothers and sisters 1357 01:02:40,330 --> 01:02:41,818 go to live with my grandmother 1358 01:02:41,860 --> 01:02:45,523 when I go to live with his (indistinct) actually. 1359 01:02:46,390 --> 01:02:48,140 You know, even I remember, 1360 01:02:49,420 --> 01:02:51,853 one of my relatives mentioned it, 1361 01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,428 that he attempt to actually even stab her 1362 01:02:56,470 --> 01:02:59,158 with a screwdriver. 1363 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,688 [Reggie] Wow. 1364 01:03:00,730 --> 01:03:03,613 - I never got really the complete story, you know. 1365 01:03:04,510 --> 01:03:07,971 But knowing him over the years, 1366 01:03:08,013 --> 01:03:09,763 kinda like going in that direction. 1367 01:03:11,453 --> 01:03:14,353 Growing up with these beautiful people to take care of me. 1368 01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,543 You know, there was already older, 1369 01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:24,630 really older people already, like, say, was my mother aunt. 1370 01:03:26,830 --> 01:03:31,830 My mother's grandmother's sister, we can say that, you know? 1371 01:03:32,512 --> 01:03:34,141 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 1372 01:03:34,183 --> 01:03:38,353 They take care of me growing up. 1373 01:03:40,180 --> 01:03:44,113 My father, he was showing once in a great while. 1374 01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:50,490 And the sad part is never try to be consistent, 1375 01:03:51,940 --> 01:03:56,391 try to be what you're expecting for a father, you know? 1376 01:03:56,433 --> 01:03:57,508 And I was asking too much for him. 1377 01:03:57,550 --> 01:04:01,251 I was just asking to actually spend some time with him. 1378 01:04:01,293 --> 01:04:02,565 And actually I- 1379 01:04:02,607 --> 01:04:04,498 [Reggie] So you actually asked him 1380 01:04:04,540 --> 01:04:06,637 to spend time with you as a- 1381 01:04:06,679 --> 01:04:09,208 - I was in that young age when I asked that part, yes. 1382 01:04:09,250 --> 01:04:10,138 - [Reggie] And he just- 1383 01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:15,180 - And he was telling me, because his work related 1384 01:04:16,180 --> 01:04:20,218 was in a construction, classic, 1385 01:04:20,260 --> 01:04:23,188 you know, the Mexican classic job. 1386 01:04:23,230 --> 01:04:24,971 [Reggie] Wow. Yeah, yeah. 1387 01:04:25,013 --> 01:04:26,998 That brings me to my next question. 1388 01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,878 So he was working on construction, 1389 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:32,038 so obviously you asked him all the time 1390 01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:34,438 to try to spend time with you and whatnot. 1391 01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:38,248 He denied you, for whatever reason. 1392 01:04:38,290 --> 01:04:40,648 So with that being said, 1393 01:04:40,690 --> 01:04:42,388 you guys never even had the opportunity 1394 01:04:42,430 --> 01:04:44,038 to take pictures together, right? 1395 01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,178 Exactly. 1396 01:04:45,220 --> 01:04:47,038 [Reggie] So tell us about the part 1397 01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,070 where you went to the construction site 1398 01:04:53,020 --> 01:04:56,188 to take your stepdad somethin' and... 1399 01:04:56,230 --> 01:05:00,118 I was around, if I'm not mistaken, 1400 01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:02,881 around 12, 13 years old already. 1401 01:05:02,923 --> 01:05:05,188 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1402 01:05:05,230 --> 01:05:06,955 - My father, the person that was raising me, 1403 01:05:06,997 --> 01:05:09,273 and I called father in that time- 1404 01:05:09,315 --> 01:05:10,106 [Reggie] Right, right, right. 1405 01:05:10,148 --> 01:05:12,133 He was in charge in a construction site. 1406 01:05:14,140 --> 01:05:18,688 And I didn't even know if he actually hired my real father. 1407 01:05:18,730 --> 01:05:19,521 [Reggie] Wow. 1408 01:05:19,563 --> 01:05:21,930 To work there, 'cause he needs a job too. 1409 01:05:21,972 --> 01:05:22,763 [Reggie] I didn't know that part. 1410 01:05:22,805 --> 01:05:24,238 - Yeah. - [Reggie] Wow. 1411 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,068 Without no knowledge. 1412 01:05:26,110 --> 01:05:29,051 One of those days, pretty much every day, 1413 01:05:29,093 --> 01:05:33,524 I was taking lunch to him because it was a short distance. 1414 01:05:33,566 --> 01:05:35,098 - [Reggie] Right, right. - I can walk to the side. 1415 01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:37,948 It was, you know, close to our place, 1416 01:05:37,990 --> 01:05:39,916 where we was living at that time. 1417 01:05:39,958 --> 01:05:40,924 - [Reggie] Uh-huh. 1418 01:05:40,966 --> 01:05:43,918 And the regular, around 12 o'clock noon, 1419 01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,468 I was walking over there to the construction site 1420 01:05:46,510 --> 01:05:48,388 to bring my father's lunch. 1421 01:05:48,430 --> 01:05:49,263 [Reggie] Right. 1422 01:05:50,170 --> 01:05:53,901 I get there, and I know exactly the area 1423 01:05:53,943 --> 01:05:55,618 where I was supposed to be doing, 1424 01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:58,048 because I was doing it before, of course, more than once. 1425 01:05:58,090 --> 01:05:59,308 [Reggie] Right. 1426 01:05:59,350 --> 01:06:01,618 I was setting up everything on the table, 1427 01:06:01,660 --> 01:06:04,738 then he got there, I put on the food, display everything 1428 01:06:04,780 --> 01:06:07,423 that he always, you know, he likes. 1429 01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:13,320 And he came in that moment when I was almost finished, 1430 01:06:14,298 --> 01:06:16,783 and he say to me, "Please, wait a few seconds. 1431 01:06:17,980 --> 01:06:20,133 Somebody wanna talk to you." 1432 01:06:20,175 --> 01:06:21,852 [Reggie] Mm. 1433 01:06:21,894 --> 01:06:22,685 (voice drowned by background noise) 1434 01:06:22,727 --> 01:06:24,658 I was like, "Somebody wanna see me?" 1435 01:06:24,700 --> 01:06:27,358 I was thinking maybe one of the old guys, you know? 1436 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:29,343 - [Reggie] Right. - In another constructions. 1437 01:06:30,910 --> 01:06:32,968 My father's friends, they always like me, you know? 1438 01:06:33,010 --> 01:06:35,888 [Reggie] Right, right, right, right. 1439 01:06:35,930 --> 01:06:39,598 - I was almost complete, finished on the food 1440 01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:41,548 and everything for him. 1441 01:06:41,590 --> 01:06:44,893 And in the back, I just heard, 1442 01:06:46,076 --> 01:06:50,277 you know, the voice of my father. 1443 01:06:52,570 --> 01:06:57,570 And he's like, "Hey, your father is here." 1444 01:06:59,509 --> 01:07:04,160 And I turned around and I see 1445 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:08,384 my real father, of course. 1446 01:07:08,426 --> 01:07:12,448 And he tried to, you know, say something to me, 1447 01:07:12,490 --> 01:07:13,618 and I talked to my father, 1448 01:07:13,660 --> 01:07:15,763 for some reason already my brain was, 1449 01:07:16,846 --> 01:07:17,668 you know, blocking me really quick, 1450 01:07:17,710 --> 01:07:21,463 and say, "Wait a minute, this person is not my father." 1451 01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:23,533 You are my father. 1452 01:07:24,370 --> 01:07:27,367 "And I don't want nothing with this person anymore." 1453 01:07:28,234 --> 01:07:29,511 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1454 01:07:29,553 --> 01:07:33,778 - And without giving any explanation on anything, 1455 01:07:33,820 --> 01:07:35,773 I just walked away. 1456 01:07:36,730 --> 01:07:41,730 And after that, the last time, 1457 01:07:41,793 --> 01:07:43,603 I think he resembles to him, 1458 01:07:45,806 --> 01:07:48,281 was in a public transportation. 1459 01:07:48,323 --> 01:07:50,908 I was around 14, 15 years old. 1460 01:07:50,950 --> 01:07:52,228 And I think it was him. 1461 01:07:52,270 --> 01:07:55,498 That was the last time I really think I see him. 1462 01:07:55,540 --> 01:07:56,548 After that- 1463 01:07:56,590 --> 01:07:58,348 - [Reggie] No more. - No more. 1464 01:07:58,390 --> 01:08:03,043 - [Reggie] So, man, thank you for sharing this story, man. 1465 01:08:04,930 --> 01:08:08,158 So you guys actually had a opportunity 1466 01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:12,328 to talk about the situation. 1467 01:08:12,370 --> 01:08:15,118 He saw you, you saw him, 1468 01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:18,028 but you guys just went your separate ways. 1469 01:08:18,070 --> 01:08:18,861 Yes. 1470 01:08:18,903 --> 01:08:22,888 - [Reggie] What do you think made you guys not say anything? 1471 01:08:22,930 --> 01:08:26,038 Does it have to do with pride? Does it have to do with ego? 1472 01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:27,880 Does it have to do with any of that? 1473 01:08:29,140 --> 01:08:31,048 To be honest with you, 1474 01:08:31,090 --> 01:08:34,393 I can actually tell you that I was a dumb kid in that time. 1475 01:08:35,478 --> 01:08:37,267 Dumb teenager. - [Reggie] Yeah. 1476 01:08:37,309 --> 01:08:38,100 Like too many at one point. 1477 01:08:38,142 --> 01:08:40,228 - [Reggie] And you, as a kid, obviously you're a kid, 1478 01:08:40,270 --> 01:08:44,008 but what do you think was holding him back 1479 01:08:44,050 --> 01:08:46,678 from coming to you to talk to you? 1480 01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:50,113 - I heard so many rumors about supposed to be, 1481 01:08:51,580 --> 01:08:54,868 that was telling him, you know, it was worth it 1482 01:08:54,910 --> 01:08:56,788 because he's going to get too much in trouble 1483 01:08:56,830 --> 01:08:59,725 with my parents that was taking care of me. 1484 01:08:59,767 --> 01:09:01,348 [Reggie] Mm. 1485 01:09:01,390 --> 01:09:03,928 And he was afraid supposedly 1486 01:09:03,970 --> 01:09:06,298 to have a relationship with me. 1487 01:09:06,340 --> 01:09:08,638 - [Reggie] Wow. - By that time. 1488 01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:10,008 [Reggie] Do you buy that? 1489 01:09:10,050 --> 01:09:13,573 - To be honest with you, what I can tell you, you know? 1490 01:09:14,440 --> 01:09:17,880 Over the years, I just move on pretty much. 1491 01:09:17,922 --> 01:09:19,409 - [Reggie] Right. - It still hurts. 1492 01:09:19,451 --> 01:09:20,398 - [Reggie] Right. - It still hurts. 1493 01:09:20,440 --> 01:09:25,415 Because you wanna grow up and say, 1494 01:09:25,457 --> 01:09:28,567 "This person helped me," or, "This person do this for me." 1495 01:09:29,448 --> 01:09:30,948 - [Reggie] Mm-hmm. 1496 01:09:33,340 --> 01:09:36,555 - I got the old man to take care of me for so many years 1497 01:09:36,597 --> 01:09:38,383 and I'm really grateful. 1498 01:09:39,511 --> 01:09:43,344 But there's a part of me that's still missing, 1499 01:09:46,308 --> 01:09:47,889 that connection and... 1500 01:09:47,931 --> 01:09:49,474 [Reggie] Yeah. 1501 01:09:49,516 --> 01:09:53,779 - It really hurts. Really hurts over the years. 1502 01:09:53,821 --> 01:09:58,108 But it's part of life, what we say around, no? 1503 01:09:58,150 --> 01:10:01,483 It's something I was never going to get. 1504 01:10:02,856 --> 01:10:07,241 Why things happens like that to people like us. 1505 01:10:07,283 --> 01:10:09,568 But, yeah, it's been hard. 1506 01:10:09,610 --> 01:10:11,578 And I'll be honest with you, 1507 01:10:11,620 --> 01:10:14,817 I regret part of that conversation now. 1508 01:10:16,763 --> 01:10:18,628 But whatever is done is done. 1509 01:10:18,670 --> 01:10:20,788 - [Reggie] Right. - You know? What I can do? 1510 01:10:20,830 --> 01:10:23,611 - [Reggie] Yeah. - Nothing to fix anything. 1511 01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:24,568 I don't know if he's alive. 1512 01:10:24,610 --> 01:10:25,860 I'm not gonna lie to you, 1513 01:10:27,730 --> 01:10:32,728 the last thing I know, he's still living, 1514 01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:35,293 but almost 20 years ago. - Mm-hmm. 1515 01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,868 - I stopped being in relationship with my family 1516 01:10:39,910 --> 01:10:42,200 for different reasons. - Mm-hmm. 1517 01:10:42,242 --> 01:10:47,218 - And I have no clue, no nothing if he's still around. 1518 01:10:47,260 --> 01:10:52,135 I know I have half-brothers, half-sisters from his side. 1519 01:10:52,177 --> 01:10:56,818 But my biggest, you know, regret 1520 01:10:56,860 --> 01:11:01,577 is not having a picture with him. 1521 01:11:01,619 --> 01:11:05,881 To actually have a memory at least, you know? 1522 01:11:05,923 --> 01:11:07,723 But... [Reggie] Thank you, brother. 1523 01:11:09,511 --> 01:11:11,594 Hey, man, appreciate you. 1524 01:11:13,540 --> 01:11:15,748 These... (Reggie and J.Q. chuckle) 1525 01:11:15,790 --> 01:11:16,581 Oh, shit. 1526 01:11:16,623 --> 01:11:19,138 [Reggie] These topics are hard, bro. 1527 01:11:19,180 --> 01:11:22,483 Believe me, when I sat down with my dad, 1528 01:11:24,250 --> 01:11:25,648 I broke down. 1529 01:11:25,690 --> 01:11:27,748 But you know what? We got it out. 1530 01:11:27,790 --> 01:11:32,113 It was a sense of kinda healing, you know? 1531 01:11:34,450 --> 01:11:36,358 But I appreciate you, bro. 1532 01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,719 Thank you, man. 1533 01:11:37,761 --> 01:11:38,552 [J.Q.] No, no, thank you. 1534 01:11:38,594 --> 01:11:40,044 [Reggie] Sorry... [J.Q.] No, no. 1535 01:11:40,086 --> 01:11:41,421 [Reggie] You had... [J.Q.] Hey, hey. 1536 01:11:41,463 --> 01:11:42,254 I'll be honest with you. 1537 01:11:42,296 --> 01:11:45,899 I was not expecting it to hit me like this right now. 1538 01:11:45,941 --> 01:11:46,951 Not even... [Reggie] I know. 1539 01:11:46,993 --> 01:11:47,818 I was nervous to actually, 1540 01:11:47,860 --> 01:11:49,318 you know, talk again about this, 1541 01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:52,190 you know, after the last time I was telling my wife. 1542 01:11:53,054 --> 01:11:57,598 Kinda like it's something was opened again, you know? 1543 01:11:57,640 --> 01:12:00,868 Like try to block this for so many years and... 1544 01:12:00,910 --> 01:12:03,088 [Reggie] But it's good... Yeah. 1545 01:12:03,130 --> 01:12:06,958 - [Reggie] to let these feelings and emotions out. 1546 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,388 Because the more we block and the more we block, 1547 01:12:09,430 --> 01:12:12,598 the more it pins us down. 1548 01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:15,688 And you never know how we can explode. 1549 01:12:15,730 --> 01:12:17,368 - Yeah. - So it's good to have someone 1550 01:12:17,410 --> 01:12:20,818 who has a similar story. 1551 01:12:20,860 --> 01:12:22,890 So that's why I appreciate you guys 1552 01:12:22,932 --> 01:12:25,438 'cause you guys are helping me out. 1553 01:12:25,480 --> 01:12:26,930 - Yeah. - [Reggie] You know? 1554 01:12:27,775 --> 01:12:30,331 Oh, God (indistinct). 1555 01:12:30,373 --> 01:12:31,554 I'm 50 years old... 1556 01:12:31,596 --> 01:12:33,105 (Reggie laughs) 1557 01:12:33,147 --> 01:12:35,730 (morose music) 1558 01:13:02,230 --> 01:13:03,838 It is fulfilling to know 1559 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,988 that the journey of finding the unanswered questions 1560 01:13:07,030 --> 01:13:10,198 about the absence of my father in my childhood 1561 01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:14,863 and why we had no pictures together is now complete. 1562 01:13:15,790 --> 01:13:18,778 It took the encouraging words of a friend 1563 01:13:18,820 --> 01:13:21,058 and the swallowing of my pride 1564 01:13:21,100 --> 01:13:23,863 to ultimately lead to those answers. 1565 01:13:24,970 --> 01:13:28,438 I embarked on this journey first for myself 1566 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:31,213 and then for the relationship between my father and I. 1567 01:13:32,770 --> 01:13:35,711 But through the creation of this documentary, 1568 01:13:35,753 --> 01:13:39,343 I encountered so many people with similar stories. 1569 01:13:41,230 --> 01:13:42,958 The problem that was consistent 1570 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,568 with the majority of these stories 1571 01:13:45,610 --> 01:13:48,268 is that pride and ego 1572 01:13:48,310 --> 01:13:52,048 blocks us from discovering our ultimate potential 1573 01:13:52,090 --> 01:13:53,713 for personal freedom and growth. 1574 01:13:55,330 --> 01:13:59,623 Now, if we swallow our pride and set aside our egos, 1575 01:14:00,490 --> 01:14:04,588 we then allow ourselves the opportunity to discover 1576 01:14:04,630 --> 01:14:08,263 our maximum potential for personal freedom and growth. 1577 01:14:10,330 --> 01:14:12,343 Will you be the next to discover yours? 1578 01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:19,233 Cool. 1579 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,143 Look at T.O. 1580 01:14:24,127 --> 01:14:25,032 (Shannon laughs) 1581 01:14:25,074 --> 01:14:26,970 Look at T.O. (laughs) 1582 01:14:27,012 --> 01:14:27,803 You crazy. 1583 01:14:27,845 --> 01:14:28,708 [Reggie] Look at T.O. 1584 01:14:28,750 --> 01:14:32,368 - You know, guys, I just signed for $41 million 1585 01:14:32,410 --> 01:14:35,293 and, man, it's incredible what happened, what's happened. 1586 01:14:36,700 --> 01:14:39,980 I'm the number number one wide receiver in the nation 1587 01:14:40,022 --> 01:14:43,048 and no one can beat my record, no one, you guys. 1588 01:14:43,090 --> 01:14:45,058 But anyway, it's just a cue. 1589 01:14:45,100 --> 01:14:47,308 [Reggie] So tell us your name. Right. 1590 01:14:47,350 --> 01:14:49,888 - It's a career goal because, and while he was doing that, 1591 01:14:49,930 --> 01:14:51,028 he was getting his master's 1592 01:14:51,070 --> 01:14:53,788 and he was working on his PhD when he died. 1593 01:14:53,830 --> 01:14:55,198 [Reggie] Right. 1594 01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:59,386 So at this point, I said, you know what? 1595 01:14:59,428 --> 01:15:03,778 I'm not worried about did I make my parents proud of me, 1596 01:15:03,820 --> 01:15:05,218 my brothers proud of me. 1597 01:15:05,260 --> 01:15:07,708 It's not about them. - Right. 1598 01:15:07,750 --> 01:15:09,133 Behind-the-scenes set up. 1599 01:15:11,460 --> 01:15:15,377 (lawn mower engine sputtering) 1600 01:15:20,704 --> 01:15:21,537 Camera A. 1601 01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:25,144 Another one right here. 1602 01:15:26,513 --> 01:15:27,930 How you doin'? 1603 01:15:27,972 --> 01:15:30,058 You look just like my little Bella. 1604 01:15:30,100 --> 01:15:31,617 You smell Bella on you? 1605 01:15:33,097 --> 01:15:35,630 You don't smell Bella on you, huh? 1606 01:15:35,672 --> 01:15:38,179 - [Jernigan Sr.] Mm-hmm. 1607 01:15:38,221 --> 01:15:40,301 And Bella, she protestin'. 1608 01:15:40,343 --> 01:15:43,760 (morose music continues) 1609 01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:22,682 (camera clicks) (morose music fades)