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CHRÉTIEN: Mesdames et messieurs,
bon soir .
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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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This is Jean Chrétien,
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the former Prime Minister
of Canada.
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Three back-to-back majorities.
But I digress.
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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Please welcome the little guy
from Middle Cove,
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Rick Mercer.
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[applause]
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["Raise a Little Hell"
by Trooper playing]
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[audience clapping along]
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¶ Raise a little hell,
raise a little hell ¶
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¶ Raise a little hell ¶
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¶
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[audience cheering]
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-Wow!
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Thank you so much.
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Thank you so much
for that kind introduction.
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That means so much.
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I know what you're thinking,
"My God, what happened to him?"
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[laughter]
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Watching the news
did this to me!
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[laughter]
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My God, what a time to be alive.
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I used to spend so much time
watching the news.
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Now I spend all my time
hiding from the news.
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What's the word?
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What is the word--
there's a word--
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what is the word
for that feeling you get
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when you're lying
on the couch at home,
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and you're watching the news,
and you start to think
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that the entire world
has gone completely insane
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except for you?
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What is that word?
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I remember now, yes!
That word is "Canadian."
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[applause]
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Now, before we go any further,
how about a round of applause
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for our celebrity announcer
tonight, Mr. Jean Chrétien?
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[applause and cheering]
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Wasn't that crazy?
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And, not only did he agree
to be our announcer
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for this entire tour,
he's also in charge of security!
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[laughter]
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It's so great to be
back out on the road,
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travelling with
incredibly funny comedians.
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And, of course,
I was so fortunate for 16 years;
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I had a TV show on this network
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that allowed me to travel
the country every single week,
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talking to Canadians,
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visiting one part
of the country,
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introducing it
to another part of the country,
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and I tell you, I loved
every single minute of it.
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And do you know why?
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I'm a people person.
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And I know a lot of you
are sitting there going,
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"I know, Rick,
I'm a people person, too."
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Not like me.
No.
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It's like there's something
wrong with my head.
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Seriously,
I will talk to a stump.
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I'm the kind of--
I'm so much of a people person,
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I'm the kind of person,
I get on a plane,
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if the seat next to me is empty,
I'm sitting there going,
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"Oh...
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"I hope someone
gets on this plane
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"and I hope they
sit in that seat!"
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[laughter]
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And I hope they're chatty!
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'Cause I've got questions!
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[laughter]
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That's 'cause
I'm a Newfoundlander, see?
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-[applause and cheering]
-Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah...!
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And we have the reputation
being so friendly and nice.
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My gosh, they made
a big Broadway musical
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about how nice we are!
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[laughter]
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I'll let you in on a secret.
We're not nice.
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We're nosy.
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[laughter]
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Oh, we'll invite ya in,
we'll give ya a cup of tea,
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but as soon as we find out
who you are, where you're going,
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what you're doing,
who you're doing,
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it's right back out the door
the way you came in!
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[laughter]
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You don't wanna sit
next to me on a plane.
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It's not a chat.
It's an interrogation.
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[laughter]
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And eventually,
I will ask you,
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"What does it mean
to be Canadian?"
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Because that is a question that
has beguiled us since day one.
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You take four or five Canadians,
you put 'em in a room,
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you ask 'em, "What does it mean
to be a Canadian?"
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Give 'em five minutes,
they'll start talking about
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how we are different
than the Americans.
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Which is a terrible way
to define yourself!
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You shouldn't define yourself
by what you're not,
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you should define yourself
by what you are .
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In the '80s,
we had a royal commission
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that travelled this country
asking the question,
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"What does it mean
to be a Canadian?"
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Asked the question
all over Canada,
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spent millions of dollars,
produced 14 phonebooks' worth
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of data--
never answered the question.
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[laughter]
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So when I got my little TV show,
I said to myself,
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"You know what,
I'm gonna answer that question.
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"That's my hidden agenda."
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Which is ironic,
because in those days,
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I used to tell everyone
it was Stephen Harper
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that had the hidden agenda.
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[laughter]
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But no, it was me all along!
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And more people are asking those
questions now than ever before.
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Patriotism is on bust.
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It's fascinating to watch.
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This last February,
when Flag Day rolled around...
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you know, Flag Day,
that's the national holiday
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that our celebrity announcer
just invented one morning
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out of the blue.
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I never celebrated
Flag Day before.
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I was agnostic.
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I never felt the need to hang
a flag on the side of my house.
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This Flag Day, I did.
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-[audience member whoops]
-Yes!
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[applause and cheering]
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And I tell you what,
I wasn't the only one.
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I had to go to four
Canadian Tire stores
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to find a Canadian flag.
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[laughter]
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And at the third store,
they said,
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"We can take your name
in case one becomes available."
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Like I was looking for
Taylor Swift tickets!
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[laughter]
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This is the world
we are living in now.
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These are the times
we're living in.
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It's fascinating.
Patriotism is on bust.
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I hope we...
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I hope we seize the moment.
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I hope we seize the moment
to make some positive changes
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that's good for the country.
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I tell you one little thing
that I would love to see happen,
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and this is just
a pet project of mine,
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I would love to see
Canadian history
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taught in the schools again.
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-[applause and cheering]
-Yeah!
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Because...
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because we don't really do it
anymore, not like we used to.
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We have an education system
that's designed to ensure
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everything young people
know about Canada
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they learn from watching
those Heritage Minutes.
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[laughter]
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The Heritage Minutes
should have a Heritage Minute!
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But if we teach
the history in the schools,
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it's gotta be done right.
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'Cause the kids, see,
they have this notion
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that history is boring.
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We have to disabuse them
of that fact.
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We gotta get 'em
when they're young,
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when they're small,
when they're like...
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this tall, whatever that is.
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Grade 2, grade 3.
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You gotta sit 'em down, look 'em
right in the eye and say,
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"Okay, kid, you think
Canadian history's boring?
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"Canadian history's not boring!
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"Canadian history
is about blood and guts
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"and explosions and adventures.
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"It's about rogues and pirates
and drunken sodomites."
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And that's just
Parliament Hill in the 1970s!
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[applause]
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Canadian history is about
fighting long and hard
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on the right side
of two world wars.
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It's about leading the world
in opposing Apartheid.
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It's about inventing insulin,
the zipper,
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and the Robinson screwdriver.
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It's about the fact that,
in 1969, in Alberta,
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a bartender invented the only
known cure for the hangover,
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the Bloody Caesar.
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[applause and cheering]
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Yes!
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And I say, now that we finally
got Terry Fox on the $5 bill,
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let's get the bartender
on the toonie.
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[laughter and applause]
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Yes.
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I'm so glad we finally got
Terry Fox on our currency!
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Because...
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[applause]
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Yeah.
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Because he is
the greatest Canadian!
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He's also the last Canadian
we all agree on.
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[laughter]
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Recently in my hometown,
St. John's, Newfoundland,
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the city council down there
passed a motion:
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they are no longer going to
name anything after anyone,
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living or dead.
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[laughter]
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And when they were asked why,
they said,
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"Well, because
people are human."
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[laughter]
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So, in a bold display
of political courage,
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they're sidestepping humanity.
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I get where they're coming from.
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Naming things is tricky.
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Every time you turn around
in this country,
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someone is demanding
that someone's name
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come off a building
or a park or a street.
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And usually that person
is Sir John A. Macdonald.
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And his name is on a lotta shit.
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Oh, they did an audit; his name
is on like 100,000 things.
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Meanwhile, there's
one little street in Orillia
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named after Gordon Lightfoot.
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[laughter]
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But you know what,
it doesn't matter.
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It doesn't matter
if those people win.
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It doesn't matter if those names
are taken off a building
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or a park or any of that.
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It doesn't matter,
because history is history.
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Facts are facts,
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and nothing, nothing
will ever change the fact
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that Sir John A. Macdonald
was Canada's first
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and drunkest prime minister.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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He was not what you call
a stand-up drunk.
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He was a fall-down drunk.
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That's how they knew
question period was over.
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[laughter]
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He'd be answering a question
and just go over the railing.
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So, never mind taking
his name off a building.
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Actually, pulling down
one of the statues
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and seeing it fall
face-first in the grass,
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that's somewhat
historically accurate.
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[laughter]
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He was once asked,
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"What's the most he ever spent
on a bottle of whisky?"
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He said, "45 minutes."
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[laughter and applause]
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And now, I wasn't lying when
I said this is a dream of mine
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to travel across the country
with really funny comedians,
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and we're gonna meet
one of them now.
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He's a very funny young man,
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originally from
Hamilton, Ontario.
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You can watch his special
on YouTube called
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"Live at the Blue Grotto."
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Please welcome the one and only
Mayce Galoni.
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[applause and cheering]
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00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:04,624
¶
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-Hello!
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Aw, man!
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Thank you!
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My name's Mayce, hello.
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Uh, like Rick said,
I am from Hamilton, Ontario.
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Uh, all right, yeah,
that's about the reaction
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that that should get.
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That was pretty decisive, wow.
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[laughter]
256
00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:24,911
I actually grew up
in a rural area
257
00:10:25,013 --> 00:10:26,546
outside of Hamilton
called Binbrook,
258
00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,381
and we had a lot of pets
growing up.
259
00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:30,250
And this is true,
for a few years
260
00:10:30,352 --> 00:10:33,053
we actually had a pet
Canadian goose,
261
00:10:33,155 --> 00:10:35,489
which-- that's actually
a great pet to have,
262
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,824
especially if you're someone
who's ever thought to yourself,
263
00:10:37,926 --> 00:10:39,493
"You know,
I'd love to get a pitbull,
264
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,695
"I'm just worried
it won't be aggressive enough."
265
00:10:41,797 --> 00:10:44,431
[laughter]
266
00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:46,867
If I could just get something
that's more dangerous,
267
00:10:46,969 --> 00:10:49,669
but could attack from any angle.
268
00:10:49,771 --> 00:10:51,438
Like a rattlesnake with wings,
269
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:54,274
that's what I'm looking for...
in a pet.
270
00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:56,543
Then Canadian goose
might be the pet for you.
271
00:10:56,645 --> 00:10:58,245
[laughter]
272
00:10:58,347 --> 00:10:59,713
They're such confident animals.
273
00:10:59,815 --> 00:11:02,716
They're so confident, they walk
around like they own the place.
274
00:11:02,818 --> 00:11:05,352
I think they think they do
because they see themselves
275
00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:07,888
on the money,
that's the problem.
276
00:11:07,990 --> 00:11:10,056
They see themselves beside
the Queen, and they're like,
277
00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:12,125
"Well, I guess I'm a part
of the royal family.
278
00:11:12,227 --> 00:11:13,727
"I'm a prince, basically."
279
00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:15,028
When you see them flying south,
280
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:16,263
they're heading
to Epstein's island.
281
00:11:16,365 --> 00:11:18,431
[laughter]
282
00:11:18,534 --> 00:11:20,567
[people hollering]
283
00:11:20,669 --> 00:11:21,968
Oh...
284
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,937
Is that where we cross the line,
St. John?
285
00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:25,105
Are we...?
286
00:11:25,207 --> 00:11:26,773
[laughter]
287
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:29,743
You're like, "Don't talk smack
about our national bird!"
288
00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:32,245
[laughter]
289
00:11:32,347 --> 00:11:33,947
I know that joke
wasn't for everybody,
290
00:11:34,049 --> 00:11:37,717
but next time you see it flying,
we all will think of it,
291
00:11:37,819 --> 00:11:40,287
and we'll remember being here,
together, right now.
292
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:44,057
But, you know,
we didn't try to get a goose.
293
00:11:44,159 --> 00:11:46,326
We didn't plan on getting one,
we just, we rescued it
294
00:11:46,428 --> 00:11:48,228
when it was a baby
from a construction site,
295
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,564
and then pretty quickly,
it just imprinted on us.
296
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,566
Do you guys know what that is,
imprinting?
297
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,834
That's where it shits
all over your couch, you know?
298
00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,636
[laughter]
299
00:11:56,738 --> 00:11:59,639
Oh, good, you guys know
imprinting, that's good.
300
00:11:59,741 --> 00:12:01,241
And she was a great goose.
301
00:12:01,343 --> 00:12:04,277
She was, you know--
she was an indoor-outdoor goose.
302
00:12:04,379 --> 00:12:08,582
She would follow us around,
and I remember we had her
303
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:09,983
when I was just starting
high school,
304
00:12:10,085 --> 00:12:12,152
first day of grade 9,
I was in the driveway,
305
00:12:12,254 --> 00:12:15,488
waiting for the bus,
and she waited right beside me.
306
00:12:15,591 --> 00:12:18,325
Don't say, "Aw." I don't know
if you know anything
307
00:12:18,427 --> 00:12:20,327
about teenagers, uh...
308
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:22,662
[laughter]
309
00:12:22,764 --> 00:12:24,497
They're not exactly
the most supportive
310
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:28,134
of when you have a unique
point of difference.
311
00:12:28,236 --> 00:12:31,137
She was honking at the bus
as it drove up; I was like,
312
00:12:31,239 --> 00:12:33,873
"Get outta here!"
What do you do in that scenario?
313
00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:36,009
Like, the first day,
you can kinda play that off,
314
00:12:36,111 --> 00:12:38,378
get on the bus, be like, "That
was weird, right, everybody?
315
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,615
"Someone left their goose out.
That's crazy." But...
316
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,116
Day two, she's still there,
317
00:12:43,218 --> 00:12:45,785
well, now I'm just Goose Boy
for the rest of high school.
318
00:12:45,887 --> 00:12:48,021
[laughter]
319
00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:50,357
People kept leaving
breadcrumbs around my locker.
320
00:12:50,459 --> 00:12:53,193
[laughter]
321
00:12:53,295 --> 00:12:54,894
She's not with us anymore,
unfortunately.
322
00:12:54,997 --> 00:12:57,831
She's in the Canada Goose jacket
in the sky.
323
00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:59,733
[laughter]
324
00:12:59,835 --> 00:13:02,402
Oh, that one too, okay,
yeah, I should have known
325
00:13:02,504 --> 00:13:05,038
after the Epstein one, but...
326
00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,539
[laughter]
327
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,876
It's been so fun
being on tour this month
328
00:13:09,978 --> 00:13:12,078
across the country
with these comics,
329
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,180
especially because before that,
330
00:13:14,282 --> 00:13:15,649
I was doing some shows
in America.
331
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,151
And that's always interesting,
doing shows down there,
332
00:13:18,253 --> 00:13:22,222
meeting Americans, finding out
what they know about Canadians.
333
00:13:22,324 --> 00:13:25,191
Like, I did a show and a woman
came up to me after,
334
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,726
and she goes,
"Oh, I love Canada.
335
00:13:26,828 --> 00:13:28,161
"I was actually
just there visiting."
336
00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:29,663
I was like,
"Oh, cool, what part?"
337
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,065
She goes, "Just downtown."
338
00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:35,068
[laughter]
339
00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:38,838
Downtown,
she thinks we have one downtown.
340
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,840
And I got full of pride
as a Canadian;
341
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:43,343
I was like,
"No, we have four downtowns."
342
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:45,345
[laughter]
343
00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:49,883
Downtown, she thinks
we're a city, she does.
344
00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:51,618
Even Trump thinks
we could be a state.
345
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,053
That's crazy, you know?
346
00:13:53,155 --> 00:13:54,521
I didn't correct her,
by the way.
347
00:13:54,623 --> 00:13:56,356
You know,
I didn't want to wade into that.
348
00:13:56,458 --> 00:13:57,557
I just let her believe it.
349
00:13:57,659 --> 00:13:59,392
I was just like, "Oh yeah,
downtown, that's good.
350
00:13:59,494 --> 00:14:01,061
"That's the best part.
Good you went there.
351
00:14:01,163 --> 00:14:03,396
"You don't wanna go uptown.
A lot of polar bears uptown."
352
00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:05,699
[laughter]
353
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,601
Whenever I'm down there doing
shows, Americans always ask me,
354
00:14:08,704 --> 00:14:10,136
once they find out I'm Canadian,
355
00:14:10,238 --> 00:14:11,971
they ask me if I played hockey
growing up.
356
00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:14,607
And I did, I did;
I played hockey for six years,
357
00:14:14,710 --> 00:14:17,143
and I don't wanna brag,
but according to my trophies,
358
00:14:17,245 --> 00:14:19,279
I was a very good participant.
359
00:14:19,381 --> 00:14:21,614
[laughter]
360
00:14:23,218 --> 00:14:25,118
I said it right there
on 'em, you know?
361
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:26,953
I got a lot of those trophies,
I did.
362
00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:29,589
I got six of them; I went
six for six, to be honest.
363
00:14:29,691 --> 00:14:31,424
I don't know
why they hand those out.
364
00:14:31,526 --> 00:14:33,393
They're not fooling anybody,
the participation trophies.
365
00:14:33,495 --> 00:14:35,095
In fact, it's more insulting,
366
00:14:35,197 --> 00:14:36,296
'cause they're
basically saying,
367
00:14:36,398 --> 00:14:38,398
"Hey, you're bad at sports,
and we think you're dumb.
368
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,399
"So, here you go."
369
00:14:39,501 --> 00:14:42,068
[laughter]
370
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:45,638
But I played Timbits hockey
until I was 12 years old, and--
371
00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:47,273
-[laughter]
-Yeah, no...
372
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,843
It's supposed to be under seven,
but I got held back, uh...
373
00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:52,512
[laughter]
374
00:14:52,614 --> 00:14:53,980
I knew that I wasn't good.
375
00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:55,682
I knew that I was bad at hockey,
376
00:14:55,784 --> 00:14:57,817
because when you get
your pictures taken in hockey
377
00:14:57,919 --> 00:15:00,854
as a kid, they always print
them up on little hockey cards
378
00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:02,122
as like a little cute souvenir,
379
00:15:02,224 --> 00:15:04,257
and my family would always
try to trade them
380
00:15:04,359 --> 00:15:05,658
for better players, so...
381
00:15:05,761 --> 00:15:08,628
[laughter]
382
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,630
I heard 'em in the parking lot,
like, "Come on,
383
00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:12,532
"I'll give you five Galonis
for one Tyler, please."
384
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,267
[laughter]
385
00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:18,872
But I got out of hockey
before hockey fighting starts.
386
00:15:18,974 --> 00:15:21,541
Which is objectively
a crazy part of the game, right?
387
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:24,277
We just accept it in Canada,
but it is weird that that's--
388
00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,880
'cause that's not a part of
the game; it's not in the rules.
389
00:15:26,982 --> 00:15:28,548
If you're teaching someone
hockey, you're never like,
390
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:31,184
"All right, so what you gotta do
is try to put that puck
391
00:15:31,286 --> 00:15:33,286
"in that net,
and then if you feel like it,
392
00:15:33,388 --> 00:15:35,388
"you just punch that guy
in the face."
393
00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:36,790
That's crazy,
and that's the only--
394
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,725
for a lot of people,
this is their job.
395
00:15:38,827 --> 00:15:40,293
They play hockey professionally,
that's their job.
396
00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:42,862
That's the only job you can have
where you just punch someone
397
00:15:42,964 --> 00:15:44,230
in the middle of your shift.
398
00:15:44,332 --> 00:15:46,299
You never show up at Sobeys,
399
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:49,035
and there's some
jacked-up big Russian cashier,
400
00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:52,038
no idea how to use
the equipment, no finesse,
401
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:54,808
he's just manhandling
your tomatoes.
402
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,910
And you're like,
"Hey, how'd that guy get hired?"
403
00:15:57,012 --> 00:15:58,344
And they're like,
"Oh, Vlad?
404
00:15:58,446 --> 00:16:00,747
"Every once in a while, we just
send him across the street
405
00:16:00,849 --> 00:16:03,049
"to beat the shit out of
the guys at No Frills."
406
00:16:03,151 --> 00:16:04,184
[laughter]
407
00:16:04,286 --> 00:16:05,318
Thanks a lot, everybody!
408
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:08,054
That's all for me.
Have a good night!
409
00:16:08,156 --> 00:16:10,156
[applause and cheering]
410
00:16:14,262 --> 00:16:18,698
In 1969, Pierre Elliott Trudeau
gave a very famous speech
411
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,601
in Washington, DC,
in which he said
412
00:16:21,703 --> 00:16:23,503
Canada, living next
to the United States,
413
00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:27,507
was like a mouse
sleeping with an elephant.
414
00:16:27,609 --> 00:16:29,042
And he was bang-on
with that analogy.
415
00:16:29,144 --> 00:16:32,078
But what's interesting
is Canadians
416
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,013
weren't offended by the analogy.
417
00:16:34,115 --> 00:16:35,748
Nobody got upset by it.
418
00:16:35,851 --> 00:16:38,251
We agreed with it, and we didn't
mind being the mouse.
419
00:16:38,353 --> 00:16:40,253
And why didn't we mind
being the mouse?
420
00:16:40,355 --> 00:16:43,556
Because we liked the elephant,
and the elephant liked us.
421
00:16:43,658 --> 00:16:46,092
It was a happy elephant,
it was a smiling elephant,
422
00:16:46,194 --> 00:16:48,862
with big floppy ears like Dumbo!
423
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,930
It even had the word
"dumb" in the name.
424
00:16:51,032 --> 00:16:52,632
It was perfect!
425
00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:55,768
And we loved Dumbo,
and Dumbo did a lot for us.
426
00:16:55,871 --> 00:16:58,071
Dumbo protected us.
427
00:16:58,173 --> 00:17:01,107
Nobody fucks with the mouse
when Dumbo's in the house.
428
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:03,109
[laughter]
429
00:17:03,211 --> 00:17:05,645
It was like me in grade 3
gettin' on the school bus,
430
00:17:05,747 --> 00:17:07,280
cocky as Larry.
431
00:17:07,382 --> 00:17:09,649
My brother was there,
so no one ever looked at me,
432
00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:11,818
no one touched me,
'cause I had protection!
433
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,887
But the kids
that didn't have that,
434
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,722
their lunch
was everyone's lunch.
435
00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:18,091
That's the power of Dumbo.
436
00:17:18,193 --> 00:17:20,793
And then something terrible
happened to Dumbo,
437
00:17:20,896 --> 00:17:21,995
and now it's like,
438
00:17:22,097 --> 00:17:24,597
"Okay, who gave crystal meth
to the elephant?"
439
00:17:24,699 --> 00:17:26,633
[laughter]
440
00:17:26,735 --> 00:17:28,968
[applause]
441
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,470
Oh...
442
00:17:30,572 --> 00:17:33,106
[applause and cheering]
443
00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:37,076
Relationships between
countries go up and down.
444
00:17:37,178 --> 00:17:40,346
But, for me, the thing
that changed everything,
445
00:17:40,448 --> 00:17:41,814
the straw that broke
the camel's back,
446
00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:43,116
the third rail...
447
00:17:43,218 --> 00:17:45,852
was when he started saying
we have to become
448
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:47,854
the 51st state.
449
00:17:47,956 --> 00:17:48,988
[audience booing]
450
00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:50,857
I know.
I know.
451
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,126
And, at first, you know,
they came out and they said,
452
00:17:53,228 --> 00:17:54,427
"Oh, he's joking."
453
00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:57,497
And then we thought,
"Yes, of course, he's joking."
454
00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,599
'Cause we couldn't
imagine a world in which
455
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:01,668
the president of the
United States would be saying
456
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:04,804
that Canada had to become
the 51st state.
457
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:06,973
But then he came out and said,
"I'm not joking.
458
00:18:07,075 --> 00:18:10,009
"You have to become
the 51st state."
459
00:18:10,111 --> 00:18:12,478
The only good that
has come from him saying
460
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:15,348
that we have to become
the 51st state...
461
00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:18,284
is now Americans know
how many states they have.
462
00:18:18,386 --> 00:18:22,855
[laughter and applause]
463
00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:24,357
Yeah.
464
00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:27,360
[applause continues]
465
00:18:27,462 --> 00:18:29,362
He's the education president!
466
00:18:29,464 --> 00:18:31,030
[laughter]
467
00:18:34,903 --> 00:18:39,072
But clearly, this erratic
behaviour south of the border,
468
00:18:39,174 --> 00:18:42,408
I mean, it has had
a profound impact on Canadians.
469
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:45,345
I mean, so much so,
we did something recently
470
00:18:45,447 --> 00:18:46,813
that I didn't think we would do.
471
00:18:46,915 --> 00:18:50,149
In fact, we did
something recently that I...
472
00:18:50,251 --> 00:18:52,752
wasn't even sure
we'd do again in my lifetime.
473
00:18:52,854 --> 00:18:53,753
We...
474
00:18:55,523 --> 00:18:57,390
elected the Liberals.
475
00:18:57,492 --> 00:18:58,391
[laughter]
476
00:19:00,662 --> 00:19:02,929
How did we do that again?
477
00:19:03,031 --> 00:19:05,164
We re-elected the Liberals?
478
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,767
I mean, it wasn't that long ago,
Canada, there was only
479
00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:10,436
one thing uniting this country.
480
00:19:10,538 --> 00:19:12,739
We were gonna throw out
the Liberals.
481
00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:14,507
No, we weren't gonna
throw out the Liberals.
482
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:16,175
We were gonna hurt the Liberals.
483
00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:17,710
We were gonna
punish the Liberals.
484
00:19:17,812 --> 00:19:19,545
It was gonna be a bloodbath.
485
00:19:19,647 --> 00:19:22,582
And then an election got called,
the shit hit the fan,
486
00:19:22,684 --> 00:19:26,753
Dumbo went berserk,
and we elected the banker.
487
00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:29,088
[applause and cheering]
488
00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:30,690
Wow!
489
00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:32,925
[applause continues]
490
00:19:35,964 --> 00:19:38,464
Mark Carney, the banker!
491
00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:39,832
[audience members cheering]
492
00:19:39,934 --> 00:19:42,735
Do you know what's interesting
about the occupation of banker?
493
00:19:44,205 --> 00:19:45,371
Nothing!
494
00:19:45,473 --> 00:19:46,472
[laughter]
495
00:19:46,574 --> 00:19:47,607
Nothing!
496
00:19:47,709 --> 00:19:50,143
[laughter]
497
00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:55,815
But do you know
who I feel the worst for?
498
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:58,217
And to be clear,
when I say the worst...
499
00:19:58,319 --> 00:19:59,752
I mean in the entire world.
500
00:20:05,593 --> 00:20:06,926
Pierre Poilievre.
501
00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:08,094
[laughter]
502
00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:11,898
I mean, whew!
503
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:14,567
I...
504
00:20:15,937 --> 00:20:18,805
I don't know how he gets
out of bed in the morning.
505
00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:21,274
I mean, my God, this guy...
506
00:20:21,376 --> 00:20:22,475
This guy...
507
00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:27,814
This guy had a 30-point lead
508
00:20:27,916 --> 00:20:31,984
over the Liberals for two years.
509
00:20:32,087 --> 00:20:34,654
A lead like that, for that long,
that is unheard of
510
00:20:34,756 --> 00:20:38,991
in the history of polling
in the industrialized world.
511
00:20:39,094 --> 00:20:42,361
My God, no one ever has
a lead like that for that long!
512
00:20:42,464 --> 00:20:44,497
There's an expression
or a saying in politics,
513
00:20:44,599 --> 00:20:47,533
where when someone
has a lead that's so far out
514
00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:50,536
that it is inconceivable
that they can lose,
515
00:20:50,638 --> 00:20:52,472
and the expression is,
516
00:20:52,574 --> 00:20:55,174
"The only way
that guy can lose the election
517
00:20:55,276 --> 00:20:58,611
"is if he's found in bed
with a dead woman
518
00:20:58,713 --> 00:21:00,480
"or a live boy."
519
00:21:00,582 --> 00:21:02,849
[laughter]
520
00:21:05,386 --> 00:21:08,054
Well, now there's
a new expression.
521
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,358
The only way he can lose
the election
522
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,026
is if he pulls
a Pierre Poilievre
523
00:21:14,129 --> 00:21:16,329
and tells everyone
Canada's broken.
524
00:21:16,431 --> 00:21:17,630
[someone whistles]
525
00:21:17,732 --> 00:21:19,699
Canada's broken, oh my God.
526
00:21:19,801 --> 00:21:22,201
The whole thing
was just so embarrassing.
527
00:21:22,303 --> 00:21:24,203
He wanted to win so bad.
528
00:21:24,305 --> 00:21:26,305
It wasn't that he wanted
to win so bad.
529
00:21:26,407 --> 00:21:28,074
He knew he was gonna win.
530
00:21:28,176 --> 00:21:31,344
He knew he was gonna win,
so during the entire campaign,
531
00:21:31,446 --> 00:21:33,546
he took all his players
off the ice.
532
00:21:33,648 --> 00:21:36,182
None of the Conservatives were
allowed to talk to the press
533
00:21:36,284 --> 00:21:39,152
except for him, and he wasn't
paying attention to anything
534
00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:41,521
that was going on,
and then every now and then
535
00:21:41,623 --> 00:21:42,989
he'd say something
about Trudeau,
536
00:21:43,091 --> 00:21:44,423
and Trudeau was long gone,
537
00:21:44,526 --> 00:21:46,926
he was like skiing in the Alps
and growing his hair long...
538
00:21:47,028 --> 00:21:48,861
[laughter]
539
00:21:48,963 --> 00:21:50,496
And then, in the middle
of the election,
540
00:21:50,598 --> 00:21:53,666
he gave himself a makeover
so he'd look cool,
541
00:21:53,768 --> 00:21:56,736
took off the glasses
and threw 'em away.
542
00:21:56,838 --> 00:21:59,572
Ended up looking like some guy
who nailed himself in the face
543
00:21:59,674 --> 00:22:01,107
with bug spray.
544
00:22:01,209 --> 00:22:05,545
[laughter]
545
00:22:05,647 --> 00:22:09,949
[applause and cheering]
546
00:22:10,051 --> 00:22:13,252
Now he's got that, like,
discount laser version
547
00:22:13,354 --> 00:22:15,221
vision vibe about him.
548
00:22:15,323 --> 00:22:17,757
Oh, it was rough.
And then...
549
00:22:17,859 --> 00:22:19,759
and then on Election Night,
550
00:22:19,861 --> 00:22:22,395
okay, so the Conservatives
didn't form the government,
551
00:22:22,497 --> 00:22:24,230
and I felt terrible for them,
552
00:22:24,332 --> 00:22:26,866
my Tory friends
or anyone who voted for them,
553
00:22:26,968 --> 00:22:30,436
because they were so close.
I mean, they came so close.
554
00:22:30,538 --> 00:22:31,871
That was a tough blow.
555
00:22:31,973 --> 00:22:34,740
And then Pierre,
he didn't become prime minister,
556
00:22:34,842 --> 00:22:37,310
and he thought he was gonna
become prime minister, but...
557
00:22:37,412 --> 00:22:39,946
[sighs]
Not only that...
558
00:22:40,048 --> 00:22:42,548
[laughter]
559
00:22:46,487 --> 00:22:47,720
He lost his seat.
560
00:22:47,822 --> 00:22:49,622
[laughter]
561
00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:52,091
[applause and cheering]
562
00:22:52,193 --> 00:22:53,826
No...
563
00:22:53,928 --> 00:22:55,161
No, no...
564
00:22:55,263 --> 00:22:57,129
No, no.
Listen...
565
00:22:57,232 --> 00:22:59,065
That's a blow.
That's a real blow
566
00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:01,067
because that means
he lost his job,
567
00:23:01,169 --> 00:23:02,969
because he was leader
of the opposition,
568
00:23:03,071 --> 00:23:04,904
and in order to be leader
of the opposition,
569
00:23:05,006 --> 00:23:07,406
he had to have a seat,
and he didn't have a seat,
570
00:23:07,508 --> 00:23:10,443
so he was no longer leader
of the opposition. And then...
571
00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:12,144
he wouldn't leave the house!
572
00:23:12,247 --> 00:23:13,980
[laughter]
573
00:23:14,082 --> 00:23:16,015
'Cause the leader of
the opposition gets a house
574
00:23:16,117 --> 00:23:18,317
that we pay for,
and he wouldn't leave the house!
575
00:23:18,419 --> 00:23:20,419
He became a squatter.
576
00:23:20,521 --> 00:23:22,455
[laughter]
577
00:23:22,557 --> 00:23:25,658
Except a squatter
with like a nanny and a chef
578
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,960
that we pay for.
579
00:23:28,062 --> 00:23:30,162
I don't know.
He keeps saying Canada's broken.
580
00:23:30,265 --> 00:23:31,631
Seems to be working for him.
581
00:23:31,733 --> 00:23:34,033
[laughter]
582
00:23:34,135 --> 00:23:35,167
But now he's back.
583
00:23:35,270 --> 00:23:36,869
He's back.
584
00:23:36,971 --> 00:23:38,638
He's back.
He's on the Hill right now.
585
00:23:38,740 --> 00:23:40,673
Further to the whole
"Canada's broken" thing,
586
00:23:40,775 --> 00:23:42,141
we had to have
a whole by-election
587
00:23:42,243 --> 00:23:43,976
just so he could
get his job back.
588
00:23:44,078 --> 00:23:46,212
Only cost us $2 million.
589
00:23:46,314 --> 00:23:47,947
Now he's good to go,
and he's back.
590
00:23:48,049 --> 00:23:49,548
And I'll say this about him...
591
00:23:49,651 --> 00:23:52,885
When he got knocked down,
he got up,
592
00:23:52,987 --> 00:23:55,054
and he dusted himself off,
593
00:23:55,156 --> 00:23:56,822
and he ran for re-election
594
00:23:56,924 --> 00:24:00,626
in the safest Conservative seat
in all of Canada.
595
00:24:00,728 --> 00:24:01,727
[laughter]
596
00:24:01,829 --> 00:24:05,164
And that, my friends,
is what I call courage.
597
00:24:05,266 --> 00:24:07,166
[laughter]
598
00:24:08,569 --> 00:24:10,670
Or at least...
599
00:24:10,772 --> 00:24:12,171
that's what I'm gonna say to him
600
00:24:12,273 --> 00:24:14,507
if I ever sit next to him
on a plane.
601
00:24:14,609 --> 00:24:16,876
[laughter]
602
00:24:16,978 --> 00:24:21,681
[applause and cheering]
603
00:24:24,519 --> 00:24:27,420
So, our next performer
is an international headliner.
604
00:24:27,522 --> 00:24:30,856
She's a Canadian Screen Award
winning writer and producer,
605
00:24:30,958 --> 00:24:33,893
and perhaps you've heard of
her very popular podcast,
606
00:24:33,995 --> 00:24:34,927
"Bothered."
607
00:24:35,029 --> 00:24:38,097
Please welcome
the one and only Julie Kim!
608
00:24:38,199 --> 00:24:43,169
[applause and cheering]
609
00:24:43,271 --> 00:24:44,737
¶
610
00:24:44,839 --> 00:24:46,772
-Ooh!
611
00:24:46,874 --> 00:24:48,541
Hello!
612
00:24:48,643 --> 00:24:50,943
Thank you so much.
Hi, everybody.
613
00:24:51,045 --> 00:24:52,445
My name is Julie Kim.
614
00:24:52,547 --> 00:24:54,680
I just want to share
one fact about me,
615
00:24:54,782 --> 00:24:57,750
and that is that
I am an eldest daughter.
616
00:24:59,821 --> 00:25:01,020
Yes.
617
00:25:01,122 --> 00:25:02,688
Beware.
Beware.
618
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:05,591
Eldest daughters are
terrifying people, everybody,
619
00:25:05,693 --> 00:25:07,860
because we never
had a childhood.
620
00:25:07,962 --> 00:25:09,695
[laughter]
621
00:25:09,797 --> 00:25:11,364
It's a very tough gig, you know?
622
00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:13,366
You turn five,
and your parents are like,
623
00:25:13,468 --> 00:25:15,101
"You're a man now."
624
00:25:15,203 --> 00:25:17,436
[laughter]
625
00:25:18,873 --> 00:25:23,476
My parents had me very shortly
after they immigrated to Canada.
626
00:25:23,578 --> 00:25:28,948
I grew up in Toronto, and they
immigrated from South Korea,
627
00:25:29,050 --> 00:25:32,885
and may I tell you,
I am very surprised even today
628
00:25:32,987 --> 00:25:35,388
that there are so many people
that have never heard
629
00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:38,624
of South Korea,
a country in East Asia.
630
00:25:38,726 --> 00:25:39,992
I know, it's okay.
631
00:25:40,094 --> 00:25:44,630
Not everybody is well-travelled
or reads, you know? So...
632
00:25:44,732 --> 00:25:45,998
[laughter]
633
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,833
And that's okay, I don't judge.
634
00:25:47,935 --> 00:25:51,971
To those people, I just say,
basically what I'm saying is,
635
00:25:52,073 --> 00:25:53,973
I am Chinese, okay?
636
00:25:54,075 --> 00:25:56,776
[laughter]
637
00:25:56,878 --> 00:25:57,977
Arigato .
638
00:25:58,079 --> 00:25:59,779
[laughter]
639
00:26:02,884 --> 00:26:05,451
And we weren't that different
from a lot of families
640
00:26:05,553 --> 00:26:08,087
that started off in Canada.
641
00:26:08,189 --> 00:26:10,256
We definitely
had humble beginnings.
642
00:26:10,358 --> 00:26:12,024
We didn't have a lot growing up.
643
00:26:12,126 --> 00:26:14,593
My parents,
they worked very, very hard.
644
00:26:14,695 --> 00:26:16,362
They were small business owners,
645
00:26:16,464 --> 00:26:18,831
and they had
a convenience store.
646
00:26:18,933 --> 00:26:22,201
Oh, some of you are aware
of stereotypes, okay?
647
00:26:22,303 --> 00:26:23,803
[laughter]
648
00:26:27,708 --> 00:26:29,341
[laughter]
649
00:26:29,444 --> 00:26:31,010
I'll give you a minute, okay?
650
00:26:31,112 --> 00:26:32,978
[laughter]
651
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,381
No, it's very hard work.
It's very hard work.
652
00:26:35,483 --> 00:26:38,951
They were working with
their hands on the ground.
653
00:26:39,053 --> 00:26:40,186
They did everything.
654
00:26:40,288 --> 00:26:43,522
Sometimes they worked
18-hour days.
655
00:26:43,624 --> 00:26:44,990
And it was dangerous, too.
656
00:26:45,092 --> 00:26:46,659
They would often get robbed.
657
00:26:46,761 --> 00:26:49,662
Sometimes they would
get robbed at knife-point
658
00:26:49,764 --> 00:26:51,630
with threats of serious harm.
659
00:26:51,732 --> 00:26:54,200
And other times I would
just snatch the money
660
00:26:54,302 --> 00:26:55,301
and run, you know?
661
00:26:55,403 --> 00:26:57,136
[laughter]
662
00:26:58,639 --> 00:27:00,139
But we're moving past that.
663
00:27:00,241 --> 00:27:01,974
Who wants to live in the past,
you know?
664
00:27:02,076 --> 00:27:03,375
So now we're okay.
665
00:27:03,478 --> 00:27:06,579
Everything's okay.
Everybody is okay.
666
00:27:06,681 --> 00:27:09,215
We're doing fine financially.
667
00:27:09,317 --> 00:27:12,251
But it's very hard to leave
that survival mode
668
00:27:12,353 --> 00:27:14,053
in the beginning,
you know what I mean?
669
00:27:14,155 --> 00:27:15,988
That's why a lot of people
in my family
670
00:27:16,090 --> 00:27:18,591
have poor people habits,
you know?
671
00:27:18,693 --> 00:27:21,193
Yeah, especially my parents,
all right?
672
00:27:21,295 --> 00:27:23,762
They are very, very cheap.
673
00:27:23,865 --> 00:27:26,432
Yeah.
They haggle everywhere they go.
674
00:27:26,534 --> 00:27:29,401
They will haggle anywhere.
They haggle at Costco.
675
00:27:29,504 --> 00:27:31,237
-[laughter]
-I know.
676
00:27:31,339 --> 00:27:33,839
They don't even have
a membership, like... pssht!
677
00:27:33,941 --> 00:27:34,940
[laughter]
678
00:27:36,377 --> 00:27:38,010
And they have so much stuff.
679
00:27:38,112 --> 00:27:39,578
They cannot get rid of anything.
680
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,380
I would dare to say
they are hoarders.
681
00:27:41,482 --> 00:27:44,049
Capital H hoarders.
They have so much stuff.
682
00:27:44,151 --> 00:27:46,118
And they do have a new system,
though.
683
00:27:46,220 --> 00:27:47,453
I'll share it with you.
684
00:27:47,555 --> 00:27:51,924
Okay, if they haven't
used an item in 25 years...
685
00:27:53,661 --> 00:27:54,760
uh, they keep it.
686
00:27:54,862 --> 00:27:56,395
-[laughter]
-Just...
687
00:27:57,865 --> 00:28:00,199
right in the living room, and...
688
00:28:01,836 --> 00:28:04,370
It's very embarrassing
to go out with them also.
689
00:28:04,472 --> 00:28:06,272
Now, my parents
are still in Toronto.
690
00:28:06,374 --> 00:28:09,808
I now live in Vancouver,
British Columbia,
691
00:28:09,911 --> 00:28:11,944
and I go back
to visit them, yeah,
692
00:28:12,046 --> 00:28:14,380
and we will go out to eat
at restaurants.
693
00:28:14,482 --> 00:28:16,315
And not a lot;
they are still frugal,
694
00:28:16,417 --> 00:28:17,750
but when we do go out,
695
00:28:17,852 --> 00:28:19,985
there's one place
that we love to go to.
696
00:28:20,087 --> 00:28:23,289
Now, this is the place that,
when I was growing up,
697
00:28:23,391 --> 00:28:25,124
this was our
special occasion place.
698
00:28:25,226 --> 00:28:27,326
This was the place
where my parents said,
699
00:28:27,428 --> 00:28:30,162
"Okay, it's someone's birthday.
Get dressed up.
700
00:28:30,264 --> 00:28:31,830
"We're gonna
have a fancy dinner."
701
00:28:31,933 --> 00:28:34,300
And we still love that place.
And maybe you do, too.
702
00:28:34,402 --> 00:28:37,970
Tell me if you agree.
We just love...
703
00:28:38,072 --> 00:28:39,805
Swiss Chalet.
Anyone?
704
00:28:39,907 --> 00:28:42,575
-[applause and cheering]
-Right?
705
00:28:44,579 --> 00:28:45,778
It's the best.
706
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,947
It is the best.
I don't know what it is.
707
00:28:48,049 --> 00:28:51,183
I mean, I love the sauce.
I love a rotisserie chicken.
708
00:28:51,285 --> 00:28:53,953
I love to eat in a nursing home.
You know, so...
709
00:28:54,055 --> 00:28:55,521
[laughter]
710
00:28:55,623 --> 00:28:56,922
...many things.
711
00:28:58,225 --> 00:29:01,493
But the embarrassing part
comes when we're done dinner
712
00:29:01,596 --> 00:29:03,495
because my parents
will not leave a restaurant
713
00:29:03,598 --> 00:29:05,965
without bringing
something home, okay?
714
00:29:06,067 --> 00:29:09,702
And last time, last time,
my dad brought home
715
00:29:09,804 --> 00:29:11,170
the smallest amount of food.
716
00:29:11,272 --> 00:29:16,108
It was like 1/8 of an eaten
baked potato, everybody.
717
00:29:16,210 --> 00:29:17,476
It was nothing.
718
00:29:17,578 --> 00:29:19,678
It looked disgusting.
It was like smooshed.
719
00:29:19,780 --> 00:29:22,681
There was like sour cream,
cheese and butter in there,
720
00:29:22,783 --> 00:29:25,551
and he carried it home
in a big paper box.
721
00:29:25,653 --> 00:29:27,519
And it was like,
Dad, what are you doing?
722
00:29:27,622 --> 00:29:29,288
That's not even
like a lot of food.
723
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:32,124
It's barely worth as much
as the container it's in.
724
00:29:32,226 --> 00:29:34,493
Also, the lady
at the other table eating it
725
00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:36,128
was not finished.
Like...
726
00:29:36,230 --> 00:29:37,696
[laughter]
727
00:29:37,798 --> 00:29:39,798
Thank you so much, everybody!
Goodnight!
728
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:42,067
[applause and cheering]
729
00:29:44,305 --> 00:29:45,504
[applause and cheering]
730
00:29:45,606 --> 00:29:47,973
RICK: So, um...
731
00:29:48,075 --> 00:29:49,642
earlier I was talking about,
you know,
732
00:29:49,744 --> 00:29:53,012
the famous Canadians that were
on the show that I had.
733
00:29:53,114 --> 00:29:54,346
I don't want to brag...
734
00:29:54,448 --> 00:29:56,949
but we had every
living prime minister.
735
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,453
[applause]
736
00:30:03,391 --> 00:30:05,524
That's the definition
of a polite Canadian response
737
00:30:05,626 --> 00:30:06,692
right there.
738
00:30:06,794 --> 00:30:08,327
[laughter]
739
00:30:09,563 --> 00:30:12,564
Perhaps more impressive,
every member of Rush.
740
00:30:12,667 --> 00:30:16,468
[applause and cheering]
741
00:30:16,570 --> 00:30:18,370
Members of the Tragically Hip.
742
00:30:18,472 --> 00:30:21,006
[applause and cheering]
743
00:30:23,344 --> 00:30:26,211
One member of the Tragically Hip
that was never on the show
744
00:30:26,313 --> 00:30:28,514
was Gord Downie.
745
00:30:28,616 --> 00:30:32,651
And I used to ask Gord Downie
to come on the show a lot
746
00:30:32,753 --> 00:30:35,154
because he lived
in my neighbourhood,
747
00:30:35,256 --> 00:30:37,056
so I'd see him at Sobeys.
748
00:30:37,158 --> 00:30:38,557
[laughter]
749
00:30:38,659 --> 00:30:41,026
And I'd ask him to come on
the show and he'd say,
750
00:30:41,128 --> 00:30:42,561
"Yes, if you're stuck."
751
00:30:42,663 --> 00:30:44,596
And I never pushed him.
752
00:30:44,699 --> 00:30:47,266
But I'll never forget
the first conversation
753
00:30:47,368 --> 00:30:50,669
I ever had with Gord Downie
because I was such a huge fan.
754
00:30:50,771 --> 00:30:53,605
I was a kid.
I was like 21, 22 years old.
755
00:30:53,708 --> 00:30:57,743
It was the early days of
"This Hour Has 22 Minutes,"
756
00:30:57,845 --> 00:31:01,780
and I was at work one night and
the phone rings and I answer it.
757
00:31:01,882 --> 00:31:04,450
Someone asks for me.
I say, "Yes, this is Rick."
758
00:31:04,552 --> 00:31:07,619
And the voice says,
"This is Gord Downie calling."
759
00:31:07,722 --> 00:31:10,055
I mean, I almost shit my pants.
I mean...
760
00:31:10,157 --> 00:31:11,623
[laughter]
761
00:31:11,726 --> 00:31:14,293
That doesn't happen.
Your favourite rock star calls?
762
00:31:14,395 --> 00:31:15,594
I was a huge fan.
763
00:31:15,696 --> 00:31:18,063
I'd never spoken to the man,
but I'd seen The Hip twice.
764
00:31:18,165 --> 00:31:19,264
I was a huge fan.
765
00:31:19,366 --> 00:31:21,266
And I said,
"What can I do for ya?"
766
00:31:21,368 --> 00:31:24,536
And he said,
"Can you do me a favour?"
767
00:31:24,638 --> 00:31:26,872
I said, "Yes, of course.
What do you need?"
768
00:31:26,974 --> 00:31:29,074
And he said,
"Well, I'm here with The Hip.
769
00:31:29,176 --> 00:31:30,375
"We're in Bermuda.
770
00:31:30,478 --> 00:31:32,945
"We're recording some songs
for our new album,
771
00:31:33,047 --> 00:31:34,646
"and I have this song
I've written
772
00:31:34,749 --> 00:31:36,548
"and it has some
Newfoundland place names in it,
773
00:31:36,650 --> 00:31:38,584
"and I'm in the studio
and it dawns on me,
774
00:31:38,686 --> 00:31:40,452
"maybe I'm not saying
the name of this town
775
00:31:40,554 --> 00:31:42,287
"the way a Newfoundlander
would say it.
776
00:31:42,389 --> 00:31:44,289
"'Cause I know you guys
have unique ways
777
00:31:44,391 --> 00:31:46,625
"of pronouncing things
sometimes."
778
00:31:46,727 --> 00:31:48,961
And I said, "Well,
what's the name of the town?"
779
00:31:49,063 --> 00:31:51,130
And he said,
"Isle aux Morts."
780
00:31:51,232 --> 00:31:53,465
I said, "That's exactly right.
Isle aux Morts."
781
00:31:53,567 --> 00:31:56,769
He said, "You sure?"
I said, "100%. Isle aux Morts."
782
00:31:56,871 --> 00:31:58,270
He said, "Thanks, man.
That means a lot."
783
00:31:58,372 --> 00:31:59,471
I said, "No problem."
784
00:31:59,573 --> 00:32:01,140
And he said,
"You live in Halifax, right?"
785
00:32:01,242 --> 00:32:03,108
I'm like, "Yeah, that's
where we do the show."
786
00:32:03,210 --> 00:32:05,644
He said, "Okay,
we'll be touring this album
787
00:32:05,746 --> 00:32:06,979
"in like seven months
or something.
788
00:32:07,081 --> 00:32:08,914
"Give me your email address
and I'll make sure
789
00:32:09,016 --> 00:32:11,950
"you get a couple of tickets."
So I gave him my email address.
790
00:32:12,052 --> 00:32:13,085
And I'm sitting there,
791
00:32:13,187 --> 00:32:15,254
can't believe
I've had this call, and then,
792
00:32:15,356 --> 00:32:18,257
"ding," two minutes later,
I get an email from Gord Downie,
793
00:32:18,359 --> 00:32:19,658
and I'm like,
"Oh my God,
794
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,794
"I've got Gord Downie's
email address!"
795
00:32:21,896 --> 00:32:23,862
[laughter]
796
00:32:23,964 --> 00:32:25,497
"He's gonna regret that!"
797
00:32:25,599 --> 00:32:27,032
[laughter]
798
00:32:28,769 --> 00:32:31,470
And all the email said was
"Thanks very much."
799
00:32:31,572 --> 00:32:33,705
And I answered him back
and I said,
800
00:32:33,808 --> 00:32:34,840
"You know what?
No problem.
801
00:32:34,942 --> 00:32:36,775
"If you ever need to know
how to pronounce
802
00:32:36,877 --> 00:32:38,177
"a town in Newfoundland,
I'm your man.
803
00:32:38,279 --> 00:32:40,345
"But if you want to talk
to the real expert,
804
00:32:40,447 --> 00:32:41,880
"you could always
talk to my father,
805
00:32:41,982 --> 00:32:43,849
"Ken Mercer in Middle Cove."
806
00:32:43,951 --> 00:32:45,784
Hah-hah-hah.
807
00:32:45,886 --> 00:32:47,486
And then I never
thought about it.
808
00:32:47,588 --> 00:32:50,656
Three days later,
I'm talking to my father...
809
00:32:50,758 --> 00:32:52,391
[laughter]
810
00:32:52,493 --> 00:32:55,460
And he says,
"Oh, your friend Gord called."
811
00:32:55,563 --> 00:32:57,563
[laughter]
812
00:32:58,799 --> 00:33:00,632
I didn't even know
what he was talking about.
813
00:33:00,734 --> 00:33:03,001
I said, "What?" He said,
"Yeah, your friend Gord called.
814
00:33:03,103 --> 00:33:05,537
"He wanted to know about,
uh, Isle aux Morts."
815
00:33:05,639 --> 00:33:07,206
And I was like,
"Are you kiddin' me?"
816
00:33:07,308 --> 00:33:09,842
He said, "Yeah, I told him
that I took you and your brother
817
00:33:09,944 --> 00:33:11,243
"down there fishing
when you were small,
818
00:33:11,345 --> 00:33:13,212
"and he was curious
if you got any fish.
819
00:33:13,314 --> 00:33:14,880
"I said,
Yeah, it was a great trip,
820
00:33:14,982 --> 00:33:16,381
"we got a bunch of brook trout,
821
00:33:16,483 --> 00:33:17,883
"but it's good salmon
down there,
822
00:33:17,985 --> 00:33:19,985
"but you were too small
to go after that.
823
00:33:20,087 --> 00:33:21,987
"Then he asked about the salmon
rivers in Newfoundland,
824
00:33:22,089 --> 00:33:24,189
"and I told him I worked
for the Department of Fisheries
825
00:33:24,291 --> 00:33:25,858
"as a young man
on the salmon rivers.
826
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,826
"And then he was very curious
about Labrador.
827
00:33:27,928 --> 00:33:30,429
"He asked-- I think
he wants to go to Labrador."
828
00:33:30,531 --> 00:33:33,265
And I said, "Dad...
do you know who that was?"
829
00:33:33,367 --> 00:33:35,701
He's like, "No."
I said, "That's Gord Downie.
830
00:33:35,803 --> 00:33:37,502
"That's the lead singer
of the Tragically Hip."
831
00:33:37,605 --> 00:33:39,037
"That's like my favourite
rock band.
832
00:33:39,139 --> 00:33:40,772
"They're like the biggest
rock band in Canada.
833
00:33:40,875 --> 00:33:43,342
"And not only that,
he's considered
834
00:33:43,444 --> 00:33:46,078
"the greatest songwriter
of our generation.
835
00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:48,180
"He's like our poet laureate."
836
00:33:48,282 --> 00:33:49,448
And Dad said,
837
00:33:49,550 --> 00:33:50,449
"Oh..."
838
00:33:50,551 --> 00:33:52,351
[laughter]
839
00:33:52,453 --> 00:33:53,752
"He never mentioned that."
840
00:33:53,854 --> 00:33:56,021
[laughter]
841
00:33:56,123 --> 00:33:58,557
"He just said he was Gord
from Kingston."
842
00:33:58,659 --> 00:34:00,893
[laughter]
843
00:34:00,995 --> 00:34:04,363
And I said, "They're in Bermuda
recording a song
844
00:34:04,465 --> 00:34:06,231
"and he wanted to make sure
he was pronouncing
845
00:34:06,333 --> 00:34:07,466
"Isle aux Morts right.
846
00:34:07,568 --> 00:34:10,569
And Dad said, "Oh my God,
he was calling from Bermuda?"
847
00:34:10,671 --> 00:34:12,471
[laughter]
848
00:34:12,573 --> 00:34:14,473
"I feel terrible now.
849
00:34:14,575 --> 00:34:15,941
"That's long distance."
850
00:34:16,043 --> 00:34:17,709
[laughter]
851
00:34:20,481 --> 00:34:23,382
Anyways, six months later,
852
00:34:23,484 --> 00:34:25,284
I walk into my parents' house,
853
00:34:25,386 --> 00:34:28,453
and in the living room,
they got a coffee table there,
854
00:34:28,555 --> 00:34:30,455
and it's got
a piece of glass on it,
855
00:34:30,557 --> 00:34:33,592
and it's always got postcards
shoved underneath the glass
856
00:34:33,694 --> 00:34:35,928
or a picture of the grandkids
or something like that.
857
00:34:36,030 --> 00:34:38,897
Anyway, I walk in
and there's this beautiful print
858
00:34:38,999 --> 00:34:40,132
under the glass.
859
00:34:40,234 --> 00:34:42,935
It's this beautiful
nighttime scene of a lake
860
00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:46,271
and there's a moon and like
there's a loon and these trees,
861
00:34:46,373 --> 00:34:47,773
and it's just stunning.
862
00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:50,509
And it's all these dark blues,
and I look down in the corner--
863
00:34:50,611 --> 00:34:53,178
it's an original print,
it's numbered and signed.
864
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,148
And I'm looking at it,
and it looks familiar,
865
00:34:56,250 --> 00:34:57,916
and then I realize...
866
00:34:58,018 --> 00:35:02,287
I'm looking at the cover
of the new Tragically Hip album
867
00:35:02,389 --> 00:35:05,424
that just came out
like the week previous.
868
00:35:05,526 --> 00:35:08,827
So, I yell out to Dad, who's
in the kitchen baking bread,
869
00:35:08,929 --> 00:35:13,098
and I'm like, "Dad,
you have the original artwork
870
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,802
"of the cover of the new
Tragically Hip album
871
00:35:16,904 --> 00:35:20,005
"under the glass
on the coffee table."
872
00:35:20,107 --> 00:35:21,340
And Dad was like,
873
00:35:21,442 --> 00:35:24,543
"Oh, yeah, your friend Gord
from Kingston sent me that."
874
00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:29,281
[laughter and applause]
875
00:35:34,054 --> 00:35:37,356
So, I never did get to ask Gord
what it means to be a Canadian,
876
00:35:37,458 --> 00:35:40,625
but he was a fine example
of a great one.
877
00:35:40,728 --> 00:35:44,162
[applause and cheering]
878
00:35:47,668 --> 00:35:49,868
RICK: This next artist,
she's one of my favourite
879
00:35:49,970 --> 00:35:52,404
comedians working today.
She won the Juno Award,
880
00:35:52,506 --> 00:35:54,239
the first woman
to win the Juno Award
881
00:35:54,341 --> 00:35:55,807
for Best Comedy Album.
882
00:35:55,909 --> 00:35:58,176
Please welcome Sophie Buddle.
883
00:35:58,278 --> 00:36:02,047
[applause and cheering]
884
00:36:02,149 --> 00:36:06,485
¶
885
00:36:06,587 --> 00:36:07,586
-Thank you.
886
00:36:07,688 --> 00:36:09,054
Wow.
887
00:36:09,156 --> 00:36:10,522
This is so much fun.
888
00:36:10,624 --> 00:36:12,991
It is so great to be
back on the East Coast.
889
00:36:13,093 --> 00:36:17,062
I love it. Yesterday, we took
that long-ass road to PEI.
890
00:36:17,164 --> 00:36:19,865
That's a real Maritimer way
to cross the sea.
891
00:36:19,967 --> 00:36:21,166
[laughter]
892
00:36:21,268 --> 00:36:22,834
"Oh, we'll just take the car."
893
00:36:22,936 --> 00:36:24,836
[laughter]
894
00:36:26,507 --> 00:36:28,607
This has really been
such an incredible tour.
895
00:36:28,709 --> 00:36:30,575
We've been all across Canada.
We were in Montreal.
896
00:36:30,677 --> 00:36:31,676
That's where I was born.
897
00:36:31,779 --> 00:36:33,278
That's where
both my parents are from.
898
00:36:33,380 --> 00:36:36,548
And every time I'm in Montreal,
I like to go see the cathedrals.
899
00:36:36,650 --> 00:36:40,118
I'm not really religious,
but I like the candles.
900
00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:42,754
What you do is you go over
and you blow them out
901
00:36:42,856 --> 00:36:44,089
and you make a wish.
902
00:36:44,191 --> 00:36:46,858
[laughter]
903
00:36:50,531 --> 00:36:52,197
The little water
you put pennies in.
904
00:36:52,299 --> 00:36:53,799
It's just really special.
905
00:36:53,901 --> 00:36:57,269
And my parents, you know,
met in Montreal,
906
00:36:57,371 --> 00:37:00,705
and they always told me
that they met on moving day.
907
00:37:00,808 --> 00:37:02,040
[chuckles]
908
00:37:02,142 --> 00:37:04,209
Couple people know
what I'm talking about already.
909
00:37:04,311 --> 00:37:07,279
So, my dad was a mover,
and so I figured moving day
910
00:37:07,381 --> 00:37:09,381
was a day
that my mom was moving,
911
00:37:09,483 --> 00:37:12,584
but it turns out,
as the gigglers can attest,
912
00:37:12,686 --> 00:37:16,888
Moving Day is a national
mandated holiday in Quebec
913
00:37:16,990 --> 00:37:18,457
where you have to move.
914
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,127
Have you ever heard
of anything so French?
915
00:37:22,229 --> 00:37:23,662
[laughter]
916
00:37:23,764 --> 00:37:25,464
"Oh, what's the holiday today?"
917
00:37:25,566 --> 00:37:27,232
" Allons-y , bitch..."
918
00:37:27,334 --> 00:37:28,633
[laughter]
919
00:37:28,735 --> 00:37:29,634
"Keep it moving."
920
00:37:31,605 --> 00:37:32,904
Yeah, Montreal's crazy.
921
00:37:33,006 --> 00:37:34,573
And we also were in Vancouver.
922
00:37:34,675 --> 00:37:36,408
When I finished high school,
I moved to Vancouver.
923
00:37:36,510 --> 00:37:37,843
I lived in Vancouver
for 10 years,
924
00:37:37,945 --> 00:37:39,077
and everybody loves Vancouver.
925
00:37:39,179 --> 00:37:41,113
"Oh, Vancouver's so pretty,
so beautiful."
926
00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:42,814
I'm here today
to tell you the downsides
927
00:37:42,916 --> 00:37:44,316
of Vancouver, okay?
928
00:37:44,418 --> 00:37:46,751
As soon as I moved there,
I got attacked...
929
00:37:46,854 --> 00:37:47,819
by birds.
930
00:37:47,921 --> 00:37:50,422
[laughter]
931
00:37:50,524 --> 00:37:52,491
They swoop down
and they grab your head
932
00:37:52,593 --> 00:37:54,092
and your hair with their talons.
933
00:37:54,194 --> 00:37:55,527
And when you're a little girl,
934
00:37:55,629 --> 00:37:57,796
you sort of think you're
gonna wake up in the morning
935
00:37:57,898 --> 00:37:59,698
and birds are gonna dress you...
936
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,134
like a Disney princess, but they
just kept trying to scalp me
937
00:38:02,236 --> 00:38:03,368
in front of shoppers.
938
00:38:03,470 --> 00:38:05,504
And it happened to me
over and over again
939
00:38:05,606 --> 00:38:07,706
when I moved there,
and so I was telling my friends
940
00:38:07,808 --> 00:38:09,541
that this was happening,
and my friends all said
941
00:38:09,643 --> 00:38:11,209
the same thing to me;
they were like,
942
00:38:11,311 --> 00:38:13,278
"You know, crows are so smart."
943
00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:16,681
[laughter]
944
00:38:16,783 --> 00:38:18,950
Just like kind of insulting me.
Like...
945
00:38:19,052 --> 00:38:20,785
that doesn't happen
with other animal attacks.
946
00:38:20,888 --> 00:38:23,321
You don't get like mauled
by a dog and then people go,
947
00:38:23,423 --> 00:38:24,856
"You know, dogs hate the ugly."
948
00:38:24,958 --> 00:38:27,559
[laughter]
949
00:38:27,661 --> 00:38:29,628
But no,
I did come up with a solution
950
00:38:29,730 --> 00:38:30,729
to stop the crow attacks.
951
00:38:30,831 --> 00:38:32,631
If you visit Vancouver,
you can do this too.
952
00:38:32,733 --> 00:38:34,166
I just started dressing
like a scarecrow.
953
00:38:34,268 --> 00:38:35,867
[laughter]
954
00:38:35,969 --> 00:38:38,570
And I think maybe a lot of
other people thought of it too,
955
00:38:38,672 --> 00:38:40,539
because it's kind of
the Vancouver uniform.
956
00:38:40,641 --> 00:38:41,907
[laughter]
957
00:38:42,009 --> 00:38:43,241
You know what I mean?
958
00:38:43,343 --> 00:38:45,644
It's a lot of like toques
and flannel and ripped jeans
959
00:38:45,746 --> 00:38:47,145
and a stick up their ass.
960
00:38:47,247 --> 00:38:49,981
[laughter]
961
00:38:50,083 --> 00:38:54,653
[applause]
962
00:38:55,889 --> 00:38:57,556
There's a lot of other problems
in Vancouver too.
963
00:38:57,658 --> 00:38:59,891
You know, there's a lot of
homelessness in Vancouver,
964
00:38:59,993 --> 00:39:03,328
and I think everybody's very
judgemental of homeless people
965
00:39:03,430 --> 00:39:06,731
because we see them
doing crazy stuff on the street.
966
00:39:06,833 --> 00:39:09,201
This time we were in Vancouver,
I was walking down the street,
967
00:39:09,303 --> 00:39:10,769
a homeless man
was walking towards me,
968
00:39:10,871 --> 00:39:13,071
and he was holding
a ceramic mug full of coffee,
969
00:39:13,173 --> 00:39:14,839
question mark, you know?
970
00:39:14,942 --> 00:39:16,441
Full of brown.
971
00:39:16,543 --> 00:39:20,011
And he threw it into the street,
hard, which I liked.
972
00:39:21,682 --> 00:39:23,949
'Cause I also
hate to hold stuff.
973
00:39:24,051 --> 00:39:25,350
Have you ever held something?
974
00:39:25,452 --> 00:39:27,686
It's the worst thing that
could ever happen to a person.
975
00:39:27,788 --> 00:39:30,021
Girls understand.
Holding stuff is very demeaning.
976
00:39:30,123 --> 00:39:31,590
That's why
I have nails like this.
977
00:39:31,692 --> 00:39:33,058
If anybody here
is like considering
978
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,259
becoming a long-nail girl,
979
00:39:34,361 --> 00:39:35,927
I just really cannot
recommend it enough.
980
00:39:36,029 --> 00:39:38,396
It just really tells the world,
"I can't help you."
981
00:39:38,498 --> 00:39:40,465
[laughter]
982
00:39:42,970 --> 00:39:45,470
I don't know.
983
00:39:45,572 --> 00:39:47,539
And so he's walking towards me,
he throws his cup;
984
00:39:47,641 --> 00:39:49,040
I'm like,
"Yes, that's my girl!"
985
00:39:49,142 --> 00:39:52,110
But he spins, and he throws
his entire body into me,
986
00:39:52,212 --> 00:39:54,646
and then I'm like,
"Whoop, sorry."
987
00:39:54,748 --> 00:39:57,449
Because I'm Canadian, right?
What do you say?
988
00:39:57,551 --> 00:40:00,752
And then he goes,
"Don't sorry me, Boobs!"
989
00:40:00,854 --> 00:40:03,054
[laughter]
990
00:40:03,156 --> 00:40:06,258
And then all day after that,
I was like, "That was so nice."
991
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,094
[laughter]
992
00:40:09,196 --> 00:40:11,129
I've been trying to figure out
why that was
993
00:40:11,231 --> 00:40:13,331
such a positive
interaction to me.
994
00:40:13,433 --> 00:40:16,067
I think what it is, is like,
I have so many body insecurities
995
00:40:16,169 --> 00:40:18,336
and stuff, it was just really
nice to hear that "boobs"
996
00:40:18,438 --> 00:40:19,404
is still the headline.
997
00:40:19,506 --> 00:40:21,506
[laughter]
998
00:40:21,608 --> 00:40:23,308
But okay,
I'll start to wrap up now.
999
00:40:23,410 --> 00:40:25,410
You guys have been awesome.
This is so much fun.
1000
00:40:25,512 --> 00:40:28,980
And, you know, I will tell you,
I did move to America.
1001
00:40:29,082 --> 00:40:31,182
I wanted to see it
before it ends.
1002
00:40:31,285 --> 00:40:34,319
[laughter]
1003
00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:35,854
[chuckles]
1004
00:40:35,956 --> 00:40:37,322
But I've been trying
to help them.
1005
00:40:37,424 --> 00:40:39,157
I've been trying to make
America a better place
1006
00:40:39,259 --> 00:40:40,191
for everybody, you know?
1007
00:40:40,294 --> 00:40:41,826
One thing that I've been
recommending to them
1008
00:40:41,928 --> 00:40:44,195
that I think is something that
we really take for granted
1009
00:40:44,298 --> 00:40:46,197
is having more than
just two political parties.
1010
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:48,933
I think that it's something
that's so important, and,
1011
00:40:49,036 --> 00:40:51,469
you know, they don't realize
that you get some bullshit ones
1012
00:40:51,571 --> 00:40:52,771
that are just for fun.
1013
00:40:52,873 --> 00:40:54,372
[laughter]
1014
00:40:54,474 --> 00:40:57,008
I've been trying to explain
to Americans the Bloc Québécois.
1015
00:40:57,110 --> 00:40:58,943
[laughter]
1016
00:40:59,046 --> 00:41:00,145
They don't even believe me.
1017
00:41:00,247 --> 00:41:02,280
I'm like,
"Okay, we have a party in Canada
1018
00:41:02,382 --> 00:41:04,149
that's a real party,
you know..."
1019
00:41:04,251 --> 00:41:06,017
[laughter]
1020
00:41:06,119 --> 00:41:09,654
Comme ci, comme ça .
But it's a real party.
1021
00:41:09,756 --> 00:41:11,623
It only gets votes
in the little French area.
1022
00:41:11,725 --> 00:41:12,724
It's run by French people.
1023
00:41:12,826 --> 00:41:15,894
All their policies
are like French bullshit.
1024
00:41:15,996 --> 00:41:17,028
Moving Day...
1025
00:41:17,130 --> 00:41:18,496
[laughter]
1026
00:41:18,598 --> 00:41:21,199
And they get to be in
the debates with regular people.
1027
00:41:21,301 --> 00:41:23,702
We'll be having a big,
serious, important debate
1028
00:41:23,804 --> 00:41:26,705
about Canada. It'll go to our
Conservative, and he's like,
1029
00:41:26,807 --> 00:41:28,907
"We need to cut everything.
1030
00:41:29,009 --> 00:41:31,209
"We need to cut
single mothers' arms off..."
1031
00:41:31,311 --> 00:41:33,078
[laughter]
1032
00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:34,913
"...for the economy."
1033
00:41:35,015 --> 00:41:36,481
Goes to our Liberal,
and he's like,
1034
00:41:36,583 --> 00:41:38,550
"We need to support
single mothers with no arms."
1035
00:41:38,652 --> 00:41:40,151
[laughter]
1036
00:41:40,253 --> 00:41:42,087
And then it goes
to our Bloc Québécois guy
1037
00:41:42,189 --> 00:41:45,724
and he's like, "Cigarettes
should be cheaper for children."
1038
00:41:45,826 --> 00:41:47,926
[laughter]
1039
00:41:49,963 --> 00:41:51,896
"They are smaller,
they don't smoke as much."
1040
00:41:51,998 --> 00:41:53,898
[laughter]
1041
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,333
And the moderator
has to be like,
1042
00:41:55,435 --> 00:41:57,035
"That's a really good point."
1043
00:41:57,137 --> 00:41:58,770
They tried to separate
from Canada.
1044
00:41:58,872 --> 00:42:00,705
They tried to become
their own country.
1045
00:42:00,807 --> 00:42:02,841
How's that gonna hold up
on a global economy
1046
00:42:02,943 --> 00:42:05,176
when your only
resource is acrobats?
1047
00:42:05,278 --> 00:42:08,079
[laughter]
1048
00:42:08,181 --> 00:42:11,716
[applause]
1049
00:42:11,818 --> 00:42:14,119
What does being Canadian
mean to me?
1050
00:42:14,221 --> 00:42:16,254
Talking shit about
the Bloc Québécois!
1051
00:42:16,356 --> 00:42:17,956
Thank you guys so much!
1052
00:42:18,058 --> 00:42:22,694
[applause and cheering]
1053
00:42:22,796 --> 00:42:26,030
¶
1054
00:42:26,133 --> 00:42:27,766
RICK: Sophie Buddle!
1055
00:42:27,868 --> 00:42:30,135
[applause]
1056
00:42:30,237 --> 00:42:34,706
In all the years,
all the years of asking people,
1057
00:42:34,808 --> 00:42:36,474
"What does it mean
to be a Canadian?"
1058
00:42:36,576 --> 00:42:38,877
I was always looking for
that short, pithy answer
1059
00:42:38,979 --> 00:42:40,445
that would put
the question to bed,
1060
00:42:40,547 --> 00:42:41,913
and I never, ever got it.
1061
00:42:42,015 --> 00:42:44,282
But I will tell you
the closest that I've come,
1062
00:42:44,384 --> 00:42:45,884
and that is this:
1063
00:42:45,986 --> 00:42:48,486
that I have no idea
what it means to be a Canadian,
1064
00:42:48,588 --> 00:42:53,725
but I do know I've never, ever
wanted to be anything else but.
1065
00:42:53,827 --> 00:42:58,663
[applause and cheering]
1066
00:42:58,765 --> 00:43:04,502
[applause and cheering]
1067
00:43:05,605 --> 00:43:07,105
Thank you for coming out
1068
00:43:07,207 --> 00:43:09,774
to the Stand Up for Canada
Comedy Tour.
1069
00:43:09,876 --> 00:43:11,743
Thank you for
all the support over the years,
1070
00:43:11,845 --> 00:43:14,145
and in the words
of our celebrity announcer,
1071
00:43:14,247 --> 00:43:15,847
Vive le Canada !
1072
00:43:15,949 --> 00:43:18,149
[applause and cheering]
1073
00:43:18,251 --> 00:43:23,154
¶
1074
00:43:23,256 --> 00:43:27,592
¶
1075
00:43:27,694 --> 00:43:32,664
¶
1076
00:43:32,766 --> 00:43:36,835
¶
1077
00:43:36,937 --> 00:43:40,805
¶
1078
00:43:40,907 --> 00:43:45,143
¶