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[Serene, Gloomy Music]
[Distant Rumbling]
Halt!
We need to turn back.
[Gloomy Music]
[Giggles]
[Rustling]
We should not be here.
Whoever heard of a wood cutter scared of the woods?
[Chuckles]
Did you not read the sigils?
Women are not permitted to read.
Surely you know that.
Unless they're... witches.
Or nuns, and I'm neither one of those.
[Ominous Music]
It will be nearly nightfall.
We should return to the village.
Back to prying eyes and wagging tongues,
and disapproving fathers?
Even my own father would not venture out here,
in the hours of darkness without his axe,
and a means to make fire.
Well maybe I should have invited him and his big,
heavy axe instead of you.
Do not jest, miller's daughter.
There are wolves out here.
And worse.
Much worse.
I've heard tales that would make the skin crawl
from off your bones.
Well,
you better fuck me quickly then.
Had you not... woodcutter's boy.
[Thuds] [Giggles]
[Foreboding Music]
[Heavy Breathing]
[Foreboding Music]
[Soft Moans]
[Branch Snaps]
What was that?
Nothing.
No one.
[Birds Chirping]
[Rumbling]
[Leaves Rustle]
[Rumbling Intensifies]
[Bird Caws]
There's something out there.
This is it, Jacob.
This is the last time you get your soft hands on...
Stay behind me.
It's probably just some rats.
Or some birds or...
There's something in there.
[Screams]
[Eerie Growl]
[Exploding Sound]
[Sinister Music]
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Ominous Music]
[Distant Cries]
[Distant Crying]
For the Gods sake,
will someone stop that infernal mewling?
[Chalice Drops]
[Distant Cries Continues]
You,
girl.
Go find out what's happening.
It's the queen, my lord.
She's birthing, you know
I know that, you dumb sow.
I want to know why she's being so fucking loud about it.
I-I shall relay your concerns.
Yes, you do that.
But first...
[Snaps Fingers]
[Drink Pouring]
Well, what are you waiting for?
Bring me news of my son!
[Woman cries]
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Queen Groans]
[Heavy Breathing]
[Shrieking]
You promised me something for the pain.
This holy water will ease your spirit.
My spirit is fine.
It is my cunt that has been rendered in two.
[Labored Breathing]
You, fetch me wine, and herbs.
[Shrieking]
No! Wait!
Don't leave. My baby!
[Heavy Breathing]
Fetch me that knife, girl.
[Baby Crying]
Is it?
You have birthed a healthy baby.
That is not what I asked.
[Baby continues crying]
The gods have seen fit to gift you a beautiful baby girl.
Your highness.
[Rumbling]
- [Screams] - Noooo!
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Eerie Music]
[Bird Cawing]
[Clucking]
[Clucking Continues]
[Calf bellows] [Goat Bleating]
[Indistinct Chatter]
Oh, bollocks!
[Somber Music]
[Horses Trotting]
[Somber Music]
[Fire Roaring]
[Wood Tapping]
The cock crowed four hours ago.
And what of it?
You're half a day behind on your chores, that's what.
[Groans]
Aah!
And what have I told you about the forest after dark?
Ugh!
I do not know what you mean.
Father, you worry too much.
And you give me much to worry about.
The whole village knows you're carrying on
with the woodcutter's boy.
Huh! And before him,
there was the blacksmith's son.
And then the blacksmith for that matter.
Father, you shouldn't believe the gossip.
And there was talk of the blacksmith's daughter too.
[Scoffs]
You know I care not for your youthful dalliances.
But when the whole bleeding village knows of them,
what chance have I got of marrying you off?
You're sullied goods.
I am not goods to be bought or sold.
Wish you were.
You don't even qualify as the town's whore
because you lack the wit to charge for it.
Yeah. Well, maybe I don't want to be sold off
to some half-wit goat herder
just so you only have one mouth to feed.
Oh, should I be awaiting your engagement
to some noble lord any minute now?
We're down to our last two sovereigns,
so it can't come soon enough.
I said I'm not gonna...
[Knocking]
Can't you hear? We're busy!
[Door Opens]
Wha-...
What a welcome surprise to see you, Sir Lothar.
Is it the first of the month already?
Spare me your horseshit, miller.
I come with grave news.
You normally bring such joyful tidings.
Or increase to his tariffs.
Hold your tongue, lest I cut it out.
Add it to the king's coffers.
Of course, Sir Lothar.
The queen, beloved wife of our beloved king is dead.
Oh.
Two week period of mourning has been decreed.
That means no drinking, no feasting, no...
Whatever it as you people like to get up to.
Such tragic news indeed.
Indeed.
I, however remain charged with
collecting your contribution to the royal wedding.
Wedding?
The king will remarry
once the mourning period is over.
What's this now, the fifth
sixth such celebration?
The late Queen Aritrea was his majesty's fourth wife.
Alas, poor man,
his life has been beset by tragedy after tragedy.
For he is an unlucky bastard.
Oh.
I could offer a bag of my best flour.
And with it you could make the finest
wedding cake the kingdom...
Whoa!
I'm not interested in your filthy,
louse-infested flour, miller.
The tax is one sovereign,
one per subject.
Sovereign?
May as well slit my throat.
[Chuckles Nervously]
One gold sovereign it is.
[Chuckles]
Oh.
It's just you, is it, miller?
[Grunts]
You wouldn't be living here with your daughter
by chance.
No, my daughter's long gone.
Married a goat herder.
They live across the valley and...
Dad!
Shut the door, will you?
I'm freezing my teats off!
Heh.
Daughter dearest,
would you please fetch two gold sovereigns
from my purse?
Hm.
[Giggles]
[Taps]
Good fellow.
Well, good.
Good.
[Somber Music]
[Thud] [Coins Clinking]
A fraction of what we need
if the southern armies choose to attack.
Let them come.
Don't even say it, Lothar.
I'm still the king.
I'm gonna have you executed too, you know.
You're never above me
taking your fucking head off your shoulders.
I will arrange for the local noblemen
to present their daughters
for your majesty's deliberations... again.
You do that, Lothar.
[Cock-crows]
[Goat Bleating]
Father, remember that time you put rocks
in your sacks of flour to make them seem heavier?
I do.
Tell me how that worked out.
Left for dead in a ditch outside Iron Town, wasn't it?
Aye, I remember. [Laugh]
Or how about the time you tried to sell
two dozen donkeys as thoroughbred foals?
- [Laugh] - Donkeys?
You are Lady Cilicia,
and I am Lord Marchand.
Her father.
Who?
Their estate is the other side of the Haunted Forest.
But he's bedridden with gout and she was kicked in the head
by a horse as a child.
Oh, and I look like I was kicked in the head, do I?
But it means they won't be in attendance
so we can use their titles.
Father, even if this works,
what makes you think the king will pick me?
Well seeing the aristocrats up close,
they like to marry their cousins,
more than folk round here.
You have happily been the fairest there
by a country mile.
Well, that's almost a compliment, Father.
Blessed with your mother's looks.
Unfortunately, none of her brains.
But we work with what the gods have given us.
[Laugh]
And tell me,
is this what the aristocrats are wearing these days?
Well after this we're seeing Milly.
The-the seamstress, but she's all thumbs.
Yes, but her sister,
the ex-queen's chambermaid is all fingers.
We'll be donkeys dressed as thoroughbreds.
Do not worry your pretty little head.
Yes.
Heh!
[laughs]
[Eerie Music]
I can't believe this is actually working.
Just keep your mouth shut up
and body's tight.
[Door Creaking]
Well, how old are you, my lady?
I am 22, sire.
22?
Well, I'm to believe you're still intact.
Unsullied.
Your majesty, I can assure you...
Oh, you can assure me.
Can you?
Checked her cunt, have you, recently?
Your Majesty.
Lord Tragar,
if you could outline the size of your estate,
the tithes you receive from your subjects...
Lothar, she's not got many birthing years left in her.
Fuck the tithes.
The king thanks you for your time.
Any more barren old, crawls for me
to pointlessly plant my seed in?
Next is Lady Cicilia and her father Lord Marchand.
Send them in.
[Somber Music]
[Doors Creaking Shut]
Come forward, girl.
Let me look at you.
I think golden locks would suit my heir.
You may approach too, Lord Marchand.
And please, furnish us with the details of your estate,
tithes, head of cattle, dowry on marriage and so on.
Come on, man, don't be shy.
Well... heh.
We have some 200 horses.
Thorough breds, of course.
Miller!
Guards!
That man is no lord.
Throw him in the dungeons.
You can't do this to a lord.
No!
No, don't!
Cease her too.
Don't touch me!
I have seen some boldness in my time.
Never this brazen.
Lothar, what in the god's name is happening?
They are impostors, sire.
He is the local miller,
and she is his whore daughter.
[Grunts]
[Eerie Music]
Are you telling me, my beauty,
that you are not of noble birth?
How come you were adorned in these fineries?
They are clearly stolen.
And from the crown's estate, I would wager.
[Grunts]
Gold!
We've bought them.
With what, miller?
Is your watermill grinding gold
instead of flour these days?
No, but...
But-but my daughter is.
[Chuckles]
Your daughter is grinding gold?
Don't be ridiculous.
She's spinning it.
Spinning straw into gold.
It's remarkable almost unbelievable, I know.
But it's true.
That's how we could afford these clothes.
These-these jewels
I've heard enough of this, sire.
And that's why we're here.
I believe my daughter with her wondrous gift
would be a perfect match for your majesty.
[Ominous Music]
Guards, take this man to the cells.
We have no need of a court jester.
No, Father!
Tell me.
Is his story true?
Can you spin straw into gold?
Of course she can't.
It is an impossibility.
There are alchemists to the east
who can turn liquid lead into gold.
And she is no alchemist.
We need gold, Lothar.
You said so yourself.
Even more than I need an heir.
Yes, sire.
Yeah, so it is settled.
Fetch this girl a spinning wheel.
If by daybreak she has not completed her task,
they shall both be executed.
- No, I... - Uh-uh-uh-uh.
I believe in you.
Little gold spinner.
[Loud Bang] [Metal Jingling]
[Banging Cell Door]
Father!
[Cell Doors Thuds]
[Grunts]
[Door Closes Afar]
[Somber Music]
[Wheels Creaking]
[Straw Rustling]
[Sighs]
I don't even know how to fucking spin.
[Breathing Heavily]
Evelina.
[Foreboding Music]
Who's there?
Evelina...
How'd you know my name?
Show yourself.
[Screams]
Guards! Guards, there's something in here with me!
Guards!
Oh, they can't hear you down here.
These walls are thick.
[Cackles]
Are you, are you part of the punishment?
Oh, no.
All I want to do is help.
Well,
you can start by opening this fucking door then.
Oh no. No, young Evelina.
Look at me.
I'm only small and weak.
How do you know my name?
Mm...
We creatures of the forest hear
and see a multitude of things.
[Growls]
So this is my fate.
I am to spend my last night on Earth locked up with some
riddling imp who smells like pond water and fish heads.
Oh no, no, no, no.
Don't cry, my pretty one.
Do not touch me!
[Whimpers]
But all I wish to do is help.
Unless you can spin straw into gold,
there's nothing you can do.
Crawl back into whatever swamp you came from and
leave me be.
Oh. Well, if it was something that easy,
why didn't you say so in the first place?
You are a jester after all.
Sent to compound my misery.
Ah!
I never jest.
Us forest creatures know not how.
But straw into gold.
Would you?
Any fool knows how to do that.
Do not mock me, creature.
I would never mock a friend!
Very well then.
Whatever your name is, prove it!
Spin me some straw into gold!
Yes, I could toll away.
All night spinning golden thread after golden thread,
until my hands were bleeding and raw to the bone,
but for what purpose?
For what purpose? You'd save my life.
And-and my father's.
I would be very upset to see your pretty head
removed from off of your shoulders.
But, I'd still get to see it upon a spike outside
the castle wall so it wouldn't be all that bad, would it?
[Laugh]
Let me remove your head and stick it
on this spindle and see how you like it.
No need for threats, Evelina.
I'm your friend, remember?
So...
Instead, let's do a deal like friends do.
Now we get down to the parsnips and pears of it.
What do you want from me, creature?
Mm...
[Groans]
Yes. Yes, that's it. A kiss!
A kiss! A kiss! A kiss!
[Singing]
A kiss?
Just a small token of your gratitude and appreciation,
and then I can start the task.
And quickly, for daybreak fast approaches.
Truly that is all you want, a kiss?
You say all, like it is a small and worthless thing.
But it would mean the world to such a creature as I,
if someone so beautiful as you
would show me even the smallest of affections...
If this is a trick,
this kiss will be your last.
As well as likely your first.
Very well then.
You'll need to remove this ridiculous mask of yours.
Oh no, Evelina.
There is no handsome prince
under this face of straw.
I must ask that you close your eyes
so they are not to be offended.
Very well.
Just know I will bite your tongue clean off
should I feel it.
[Ominous Music]
Oh. You taste like pond water too.
My lady does flatter me.
Now, to work!
You must not watch.
I get nervous.
Sleep instead, young Evelina.
Imp, we had a deal.
I'm gonna watch you like a hawk watches a field mouse and...
Shhh!
[Thuds]
[Cackles]
[Rooster Crowing]
[Somber Music]
It's gold.
[Pants]
It's fucking gold.
[Laugh]
[Clapping Softly]
Fucking gold!
It appears so.
And enough to make more than
a thousand gold sovereigns, I would say.
We've done it.
We found a goose who lays the golden eggs.
Except I'd like to stick the royal cock into this goose.
Sire, I urge caution.
Do you really think an ignorant young peasant girl
could acquire the skills to perform such miracles?
One of these days, Lothar,
you will piss on one too many of my parades.
Sire, I...
[Somber Music]
I suspect...
Witchcraft.
Tis the only answer.
So she's a witch.
I've married worse.
In which case she will not bear you a son.
She will birth a rabbit with the hind legs of a toad.
The kingdom will be cursed for a thousand years.
Tch!
I would not have taken you as
one to fall for such superstitious nonsense.
I say, we ask her to perform the task again.
And this time, I will watch her.
See what happens.
Make sure there is no dark magic at work.
And if there is?
Oh, then we burn her, of course.
[Birds Cawing]
I did what you asked.
And now I am asking you to do it again.
It should not be so hard.
My-My hands are s-sore from all the spinning.
I can't.
Then that would be unfortunate for you
and your father.
You promised.
And you promised there would be no parlor games.
No witchcraft.
I no more believe you can spin straw into gold
than I can shit silver and gets out of my ass.
I am going to sit here...
And I am going to watch you
till the cock crows.
[Wheel Creaking]
Evelina!
[Ominous Music]
Not now.
We're being watched.
Oh, don't worry about that fool.
How did you do that?
[Snoring]
Mmm, us forest folk,
we know a little of the old way.
You mean magic?
Mmm. That's what you human creatures call it,
for you have forgotten the ways of old.
You cut down the trees.
You drain the swamp.
Forgotten the gods that matter.
[Cackles]
You seem to be in quite the pickle again.
These royal arseholes went back on their deal.
You cannot trust a human's forked tongue.
But, to us fey creatures,
an oath is a kind of magic.
One thing happens and then another must follow.
Nature's law, you see?
Well, I am grateful I can at least trust someone around here.
So, imp, same deal as before?
Kissy-kissy for some spinny-spinny?
Ugh!
No!
For me to perform that task...
[Pants]
With my hands so swollen for [inaudible].
What is your price now, Hobgoblin?
Just-just another simple request.
That, whilst I spin,
I may look at you.
[Chuckles]
Well, I'm not going anywhere.
Feast your eyes.
No.
I need to look fully upon your beauty.
What do you mean fully?
You have those horrible, hideous human garments
shielding so much of your... lustrous self.
Goblin, it's cold in here.
These human garments stay on.
These binaries, they are stolen, are they not?
You really shouldn't be wearing them in the first place.
You are a curious devil in many ways.
And in other ways,
much like the human devils I've dealt with.
You fear that I may ravage you
once you are unclothed?
You can make people fall asleep with the snap of a finger.
So, yes, I do fear that.
You have my word.
And my word is bond that I shall look,
but never touch.
Besides,
I don't believe our nether regions
to be compatible for fornication, do you?
There, you see?
There really is nothing to trouble yourself about.
Touch me whilst I sleep,
and I'll snap your fingers like kindling.
Enjoying the show, are you?
If I'm to remove everything,
the least you could do is show me your face.
Not many have seen my true face, but.
I suppose you are a friend after all.
[Ominous Music]
Does my appearance offend you, fair maiden?
No! [Clears Throat]
Not at all.
You're a very handsome
whatever manner of creature you are.
My lady does flatter me.
But quick, hurry up!
For the dawn does not wait.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Cold.
Start spinning, imp.
As you wish.
[Cackles]
[Grunts] [Groans]
[Distant Bell Dings]
[Yawning]
[Somber Music]
[Ominous Music]
You don't look much like a future queen.
I am not.
I am just the miller's daughter.
And all I want is for me and my father to go home
and you will never see us again, I promise.
Oh.
Well, that isn't an option.
You see, you are currently making the crown exceedingly rich.
Your majesty, you are a wise and just king,
and I throw myself at your mercy.
[Laughs]
Oh, miller's daughter.
I don't think you are a very good judge of character.
But I am wise enough not to
want to slaughter the magical goose.
This spinning of yours,
I need to see it, here and now.
Fetch a spinning wheel.
My-my liege.
I cannot.
I'm
I must be alone to perform the task,
and it must be at night.
Truly?
Yes.
Let me spin for you again tonight,
and you will see, I am no liar.
[Ominous Music]
It is decided then.
You shall spin once more.
But this time,
I want three bales worth of straw spun into gold.
If you fail, you and your father
can have a giant pike for your severed heads.
And if I spin your gold?
Then you both shall live.
Beyond that
we shall see.
[Ominous Music]
[Forest Ambient Noise]
[Gasps]
My-my-my lord...
There are whispers from the crows
that you have been spending your nights
with an adult human.
You know this is forbidden.
I am bewitching the creature.
I'm beguiling her.
I care not for your amusement,
or your trickery.
I am the worm in the fruit.
The flies on the corpse.
Tis all for your glory, sire.
I care not for glory.
I require sacrifice.
An innocent given willingly.
I understand.
Do you, trickster?
The old magic comes with a cost.
This is the old ways.
All debts shall be paid.
Come on.
[Breathes Shakily]
Show yourself, demon.
[Sighs]
Do you require a friendly face again Evelina?
Ew.
Thank the gods you're here.
I need three bales spun, tonight.
Three bales?
Before the cock crows?
Now you are asking the impossible.
I am but one lonely creature
with only two hands.
Cut the games, imp, tell me your price.
I'm beginning to think that we're not friends.
That you only want me for my gold-spinning skills.
We can do this dance all night, swamp creature.
But in the morning, I lose my head.
And you lose a friend.
A tragedy, I'm sure.
But I do like the dance!
Please!
Anything you want!
This'll be the last time, I promise.
Whatever you want!
I cannot tell you my price!
Why not? What is it?
You-you would think me vile.
What I think will not matter if you do not help me.
It is my... master.
He'll require something that I cannot take.
It must be willingly given.
Will I willingly give it whatever it is?
Just tell me.
A child.
A human child.
A what?
My master, the demon king of the Shadow Forest.
He requires a human child.
I do not have a child to give.
I'm without child.
I always take the thistle tea to make sure of that.
Well, what am I to do?
For if I do not return with a human child,
I will face a punishment far worse
than you're going to know.
Worse than being beheaded?
A beheading would be a mercy
compared to the punishment I would receive
with the hands of the Demon King.
So now what?
You will not help me because I have no child to give?
There is
one way.
What is it? Tell me.
If you were to promise me
your firstborn.
An unbreakable oath between us,
then I can return to my Demon King.
Tell him that what he requires is promised.
Your dark lord can fuck you sideways
with a red hot poker.
I'm not giving you or anyone else a child.
Shhh...
Even a child that doesn't exist and,
and might never?
You will spin the gold?
All three bales before sunrise?
It would be a tough task, but I believe I would succeed.
You really are a monster, you know that.
I've been called many things before.
I pay them no heed.
Okay.
Do it.
My firstborn child shall be yours.
[Ominious Music]
An oath has been made.
An oath that cannot be broken.
I shall start my work.
[Giggling]
[Ominous Music]
[Pipe Organ Playing]
The dawn of the sun god,
and the setting of the moon goddess,
represent the union of male and female.
May the king's tower be as strong as the iron lands.
And the queen's valley
be as fertile as the river lands.
[Somber Music]
[Ominous Music]
[Dinning Hall Noise]
[Guests Chattering]
[Utensils Clanking]
[Laughter]
[Laughter Continues]
Just getting my two sovereign's worth.
The king does not wish the world to know
he has married a miller's daughter.
Your daughter is a princess from the Albus Isles.
If you say different,
I will nail your tongue to a fence post
and let the crows have their fill.
Do you understand me, miller?
[Clears Throat]
I am watching you... and your witch daughter.
Enjoy the king's hospitality.
[Coughs]
Your face is longer than a donkey's cock.
[Scoffs]
We did it.
[Chortle]
A daughter of mine is queen.
Oh, if only your mother could see you now.
You do not know what I have had to do.
Whatever it is, it's worth it.
I mean, look at this food.
These jewels.
All yours.
One day, you'll rear, my grandchild,
will rule as king and every [inaudible]
There, there, Eva.
There, there.
Hm.
You're not pining for the woodcutter's boy, are you?
No, I am not.
I just need you and everyone else to leave me alone.
[Spooky Music]
Milady.
The king demands your presence.
He can wait.
I...
It is your wedding night.
You have... duties to perform.
And what would you know of these duties?
Sister of the Stones?
I know that his majesty's third wife denied her duty,
and that later that night,
she fell from the window of the east tower.
[Somber Music]
About fucking time.
Come on then, miller's daughter.
It's time for the deflowering.
You can spin straw into gold.
You can surely turn my seed into an heir.
There will be plenty of time for that,
husband dearest, but...
In the meantime,
let's have some fun.
[Grunts]
I have servant girls with tight little cunts,
and the occasional kitchen boy
who see it to that.
Wives are for breeding,
not for pleasure.
[Breathes Heavily]
[Grunts] [Thuds]
[Door Creaking]
Sister.
Sister, I need you to prepare me a thistle tea immediately.
I'm afraid I cannot.
But I am your fucking queen, I command it.
My loyalty is to the sun god and the moon goddess.
And they celebrate the union of men and women.
They do not desecrate it.
You don't understand.
I can't be with child.
Not now, not ever.
Provide the king with an heir, and you shall live.
Live longer than him, no doubt.
Then your son will become king.
Isn't that what you want, dear?
No. Please, you have to help me.
You need to do your duty.
And I need to do mine.
[Ominous Music]
[Wheels Spinning]
[Distant Cackles]
[Ominous Music]
No.
No!
[Breathes Heavily]
[Thuds] [Screams]
[Shrieking]
[Gasps]
[Panting]
[Grunts]
Sister!
[Grunts] [Bells Dinging]
Sister!
[Grunts] [Baby Whimpering]
Praise the gods.
We are all truly blessed.
He's beautiful.
Here, his majesty will surely wish to...
No!
Do not touch him.
He does not leave my side, do you hear?
Not ever.
Jakob, get in here now!
But this is a sacred birthing space.
You have done your duty.
Now, do not darken my door again,
Sister of the Stones.
Milady.
What is it, Eva?
I need you to keep watch.
Do not let anyone in or out without my consent.
Do you understand?
Uh...
Of course.
But do not fear for your safety.
The-the castle walls are 10 feet thick.
A garrison of soldiers resides in the gatehouse and I...
It is not an invading army I fear, Jakob.
Just promise me you'll keep watch
all night.
And whatever you do
do not fall asleep.
Of... [Sighs]
Of course.
Good.
[Whimpering]
[Soft Hushing]
Jakob, are you...
[Snores]
Show yourself, demon.
I am no demon.
Just a friend.
Come to offer my...
[Grunts]
Congratulations.
Touch him, and I will scream so loud
that a hundred soldiers will be in here within seconds
and they'll string you up outside the castle
by your own insides.
You made a promise.
You swore an oath.
Do you know what happens
to those who break the ties that bind?
I do not care what happens to me.
But you can't touch a hair on his head.
[Baby Fussing]
Does the sweet child have a name?
No, he does not.
Oh, I know some good ones.
Why don't you let me [inaudible]?
No!
[Thuds]
[Baby Whimpers]
You know I can make you fall into slumber in an instant
and just take him from you.
But... I want to give you the opportunity
to honor the deal that you made.
To give him willingly.
That will never happen.
You know you can have another child.
A second
third, your fourth,
fifth, even your sixth,
seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth...
And all yours to keep.
My queen.
Yes.
Very nice.
You have come up in the world since our nights together
in the castle dungeons, haven't you?
All these jewels
these riches
these fineries.
All this power.
You can take it all back.
And I'll go back to being the miller's daughter
and sleeping in the dirt.
Just let me keep my baby.
Please.
Just name your price.
Take me into the forest.
You have no value to me beyond that
which you hold in your arms.
Please.
[Baby Whimpers]
Please, I... I thought you were my friend.
You say you're my friend,
but you don't even know my name.
Well, you never told me.
And you couldn't even be bothered to ask
either, could you?
I-I was in fear for my life.
I wasn't thinking clearly.
We could start again... as real friends.
Real friend?
Uh... Okay, here.
As you are my friend, Evelina.
I shall give you three guesses
as to what my name could be.
Three? There's no way.
Fine.
You can have three now,
three tomorrow eve, and three on the last and final night.
And if I guess right?
You can keep the baby.
[Scoffs]
That's all I must do?
You have my word, my queen.
And if I fail?
I shall take him from you.
And if I have to rip him from your cold dead hands,
then so be it.
So, your first guess.
Come on, hurry up.
What would a handsome creature like myself be called,
I wonder?
[Baby Whimpers]
Um...
Jack!
I am no Jack O'Lantern.
I am no spring-heeled Jack, the lad, no.
Of course, something more...
More mystical.
Yeah...
M... Melchior!
Y-Your name is Melchior.
I've never been so insulted in all my life.
Milady, doth think I look like a Melchior.
Urgh!
Someone so uncommon as me
wouldn't have a common name like that.
Then you are.
Balthazar.
An uncommon name for an uncommon fellow.
Balthazar.
Yes...
That is a good name.
Then I am right?
A good name for a no-eyed swamp guzzler,
but not for someone like me!
[Laughs]
This is jolly good fun, isn't it?
Well...
No, no, no.
Three guesses, remember?
I shall see thee, the same time tomorrow.
Until then.
I bid you,
and the child,
sweet dreams.
[Cackles]
[Rumbles]
[Breathes Heavily] [Baby Cooing]
Get up! [Metal Bangs]
Get up at once
or you'll be cleaning the king's latrine
for the rest of your life.
M-Milady, what...
What happened?
You did the one thing I asked you not to.
[Sighs] I-I
I am sorry, I.
Do not trouble your thick head.
I need you to do something for me,
but you cannot tell anyone.
Do I have your word?
O-of course.
As always.
My lips are sealed for you, my queen.
[Somber Music]
[Horse Cantering]
[Door Closes]
[Somber Music]
[Somber Music Continues]
[Floors Creaking]
What news?
I asked everybody in the village but
no one has heard of the creature which you speak of.
They thought me mad or... simple.
This is not news.
So, I ventured into the forest
to speak with the woman they say is a witch.
She is a witch.
I've heard she can transform into a toad.
Well I did not see this so I cannot comment.
But she did give me this list of three names.
She said these are common
for the kind of goblin you've encountered.
Well, read them to me then.
[Chuckles]
Are not noble women permitted to read either?
On Sundays, I'm permitted to read the holy text
in the presence of the Sisters of the Stones.
So no, I cannot read.
So read me the names.
As you wish.
- R... - Roast Ribs.
[Grunts]
That's it.
Roast Ribs is your name. Roast Ribs.
No.
That is the name of my cousin.
So I am close?
Mayhaps you are.
Sheepshanks.
[Grunts] [Growls]
[Cackles]
That is the name of my brother.
[Growls]
Haven't spoken to him in a millennia.
Oh, how I do miss poor Sheepshanks.
In that case, your name must be...
Spindleshanks.
You've been talking to the witch of Ashgrove, haven't you?
Never you mind.
Is that your name, creature? Tell me.
That foul old woman always telling tales on me.
I knew it.
You are Spindleshanks.
I am no Spindleshanks.
That is my other brother.
That crazy old witch must have gotten us mixed up again.
You are not Spindleshank.
I look nothing like him.
Besides, I killed him long ago.
[Cackles]
In that case, you must be... Jakob!
Ah! Three guesses, remember?
Die, foul creature!
[Grunts] [Thuds]
Alright!
I thought your majesty to be an honest woman.
I... I...
You shall be alone tomorrow,
and we shall play one last time.
Anymore boneheaded antics and the deal is done.
Until then
I'll bid you... good night!
[Rumbles]
Come out.
Show yourself.
Coward!
It's no use, Jakob.
He's gone.
Gone where?
Back to the haunted forest.
To hell!
I don't know.
[Somber Music]
Who is he?
What does he want?
[Baby Whimpers]
That's a long story.
[Sighs]
But we have all the night.
[Suspenseful Music]
[Horse Grunts]
Thank you.
I still say this is a fool's move.
You are the queen.
You have an army of soldiers to protect you.
Scholars who can study the ancient text
and find out who this damned creature is.
If the king found out it was not me who spun the gold,
I will be beheaded before nightfall.
You are the only one I can trust.
Where will you go?
If I told you, you'd be in danger.
That creature has a way of finding things out.
Now this will keep me safe.
And this will buy me safe passage on a ship.
Hand him to me.
We need to be through the forest by nightfall.
I believe the creature sleeps by day,
only emerging in darkness, so we should be safe.
[Baby Fussing]
Have you named him yet?
I've had too many names in my head these past few days.
None suitable for a prince.
You should consider Jakob.
I shall consider it.
Thank you, Sir Jakob.
Fare thee well.
[Somber Music]
[Footsteps]
[Ominous Music]
Soon, we will be out of this cursed place.
Away from cruel kings and wretched goblins.
[Baby Coos]
Just you and me, my little prince.
[Baby Coos]
[Ominous Music]
Not long now.
The path leads this way.
We'll be at the river fort soon.
[Baby Fusses]
Sweet Prince.
I do not want to wait for sun's here.
[Music playing from afar]
[Instruments playing]
[Fire Roaring]
[Instrumental Music]
[Grunts] [Rustling]
[Chanting]
Tonight, the queen's baby comes in.
And oh, how thankful I am that nobody knew,
that my name
I am called is...
Rumpelstiltskin.
[Laughs]
[Baby Whimpers]
[Suspenseful Music]
Is that you, Evelina?
[Sniffs]
And your
delicious child?
[Laughs]
[Sniffs]
Ah, I would recognize your smell anywhere.
[Baby Shrieking]
[Grunts] [Footsteps]
[Hushing]
It's gonna be fine.
For tonight
he's mine.
[Cackles]
What-what about our game, creature?
All games must come to an end
with the victor taking their spoils.
He will never be yours.
[Cackling]
Rumpelstiltskin.
[Growling]
Ahhhh!
Heard my little song and dance, did you?
Believed it, did you?
As if I'd be so stupid to sing my own name aloud.
[Cackles]
It was but a trick!
And you swallowed it up
like a snake swallows its young.
Give me the child!
No!
Give me the child!
Give it to me!
[Cackling]
It's mine!
It's all mine!
No, it must be your name! [Sobs]
It must be!
No, Rumpelstiltskin must be your name!
As if I'd be
called by such a ridiculous name!
[Wails]
I knew it.
Give me back my baby.
Rumpelstiltskin.
[Growls]
Rumpelstiltskin, I command you.
Rumpelstiltskin!
- Rumpelstiltskin! - No!
She cheated.
Begone, Rumpelstiltskin!
[Ominous Music]
No, master!
No!
No one to seize me!
I will return!
I'll take what is mine.
[Loud Rumbling]
[Baby Shrieking]
I have you.
You're safe.
[Baby Whimpering]
I'll never let you go again.
[Breathing Shakily]
[Ominous Music]
[Bells Ringing]
[Dog Barking]
[Footsteps]
Bella [inaudible].
Good.
Remain the at
in pain.
Very good.
Forgive me, your majesty.
What disaster affects the kingdom
that you disobey your queen's orders?
If it would please you,
I would have but two minutes of your time,
without disturbing the young prince, of course.
Continue.
Spit it out, Sir Lothar.
You want to raise the goat tax again?
No, your majesty, I was merely...
Merely what?
The young prince.
Now, his studies are important, of course,
but he should also learn to hunt,
to ride, to shoot a bow.
All the things a man needs to know.
He is going to be a king, not a mere man.
He will have others to fight
and hunt and shoot for him.
I am teaching him how to think,
so that when others whisper poison in his ear,
he is smart enough to ignore it.
A king who knows only books
does not know the real world.
And since when has any king ever known the real world?
I was hardly plagued by visiting monarchs
when I lived in my hovel.
In time, you will heed my wisdom, my queen.
And until that fateful time,
when fish live in trees,
I bid you good day.
Send for my father whilst you're at it.
Yes, my queen.
[Liquid Gushing]
Ah!
I could get used to this.
[Giggles]
Technically, what you're doing is considered treason.
Punishable by beheading.
Oh. What's a little treason between family?
[Sigh]
Father, do you think I mollycoddled the boy too much?
He's a boy.
He needs to be out there playing.
Getting into scrapes.
Not stuck with his head in a book.
Even if it could save his life?
That creature's name was in there, you know.
In the library, buried 70 pages deep
in a three-volume bestiary of the fey folk.
And if I could have only read it,
I might not nearly have lost him.
Knowledge is power, right, daughter.
But so is power.
And as king, he'll have that in spades,
whether he can read a jot or not.
I need to keep him on a longer leash.
But I worry so.
I was the same with you back when you was a child.
Scared to let you out of my sight
in case you fell in the river.
Never got any work done.
Well, what changed?
Taught you to swim, didn't I?
Then I didn't give a shit if you fell in the river.
[Giggles]
That creature,
whatever it was, it's gone back to hell.
Never to return.
And you sent it there.
Book worm or not.
You are right, of course.
I always am.
My master, I have served my punishment.
Just give me one more chance to honor you.
For seven years, I have heard your pleas.
How is it possible?
You are more accursed on mine ears
buried beneath the dirt than you were above it.
But all I want is the chance to serve my master.
Do not fail me again, imp!
Or I shall cleave you in two like a rotten crab apple.
I shall not fail this time, my lord.
All debts must be paid.
[Ominous Music]
[Serene Music]
How long must I
sulk in the shadows and
creep through the corridors
like some ghost in clanging armor?
Is fucking the queen not enough for you?
That you need some honorary title to go with it?
Lord of the queen's bedchambers.
Knight of the Holy Cup.
[Giggles]
No.
But
you are the queen.
You can do what you want.
We could...
When I was the miller's daughter,
I did as I pleased.
Now, duty binds me every minute of the damn day.
I do not understand.
And neither do I.
I was not born into this world.
Lothar has his spies watching for every mistake I make.
Any excuse to remove me from the throne
and likely my head from my body.
And for Aloric's sake, I must remain queen.
When he is of age, he will be king,
and he can banish Lothar and the sisters
and all the tattle tales are caught.
And then
we can do as we please.
I... I have waited near eight years already.
I cannot do another five.
My heart is already near broken.
Jakob.
No!
Jakob, please.
Bid you good night.
Your majesty.
[Bird Cawing]
Help!
Help me!
Let me out!
[Gulping]
[Burps]
[Metal Bangs]
Come forward, show yourself.
Come to rescue me, O fair knight.
Why are you in this cell?
What crime did you commit?
None.
It was mistaken identity.
I do not have the authority to let you out.
But allow me to speak with Sir Lothar in the morning. I...
A handsome knight such as yourself
does not have the authority to rescue a damsel in distress.
[Chuckles]
I
I would owe you my life.
At least keep me company.
I would be ever so grateful.
[Giggles]
As you wish, milady.
I'm no lady.
[Giggles and Chuckles]
[Keys Jangling]
[Sniffs]
[Eerie Music]
You said you would be grateful.
[Chuckles]
[Ominous Music]
What... how a...
[Suspenseful Music]
[Grunts]
[Knocking on the door]
This had better be important.
What is it?
[Foreboding Music]
Sister.
It is the witching hour, don't you know?
Has the young prince taken of a fever?
Oh, no, my lord.
The young prince is plump and well.
I bring you news of the boy's grandfather.
The miller.
[Sighs]
What of him now?
I have discovered that he has been conspiring with an imp.
And now, he is drunk and asleep
on our dearly departed king's throne
an affront to all we hold dear.
An imp, you say?
Come, Lord.
You know what dwells in the forest?
You've heard the Dark Lord
whisper on the wind through the branches.
How else do you think the miller and his daughter
spawned straw into gold?
It was not the girl.
It was the imp, Spindleshanks.
I knew it.
I knew witchery was involved.
I shall deal with this myself.
[Cackling]
Clever Sir Lothar!
Thought I was a nun!
Now he shall be undone.
Time to let the games begin.
For my name is Rampelstiltskin!
[Cackling]
[Foreboding Music]
My queen, wake up!
Oh, sister, what is it?
You must come quickly.
Something has happened to your father.
[Foreboding Music]
Consorting with devils...
Acquiring the throne from your whore daughter by deception.
Your punishment my friend
is death.
[Swoosh]
[Gags]
[Grunts]
Why?
You should be glad I spared the young prince
the sight of his grandfather's execution.
Too bad he'll have to witness his mother's.
I will be devouring you personally for this!
Guards! Just in time!
Queen has gone quite mad!
Cease her!
No!
It is Sir Lothar!
He's lost his mind.
He's killed my father!
Loyal soldiers of the realm.
Don't listen to this imposter queen.
She has gained her position by witchcraft and trickery.
I am your queen, I command you.
The second Sir Lothar's head is removed from his body,
I will remove the taxes on beer and mead.
Pay her no heed!
She is right with the devil teeth!
Planted there by a creature known as Spindleshanks!
S-Spindleshanks?
Where did you get that name?
See? Condemned by her own words!
Fetch the Sister of the Stones!
It is she who told me this wicked truth.
It can't be true.
Take his head!
[Grunting]
[Thuds]
[Swoosh]
[Eerie Music]
Hello.
Want to come and play with me?
Who are you?
A friend.
No, no.
Don't be scared, friend.
I'm not here to harm you.
I'm here to play.
It is the middle of the night.
That's the best time to play with friends.
When the moon is big and fat
and all the grownups are fast asleep.
[Snores]
No one telling you what to eat.
No one telling you what to do.
No one telling you to read all those dusty old books.
A-choo!
[Cackles]
Instead,
you can be in the forest with me,
climbing all the trees,
eating all those delicious fruits.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
All you have to do is take my hand
and we can play all night long.
My... My mother,
she would worry.
Don't worry about your mother.
She won't even know you're gone.
We'll be back before she wakes.
Are you sure?
You can trust your new friend, can't you, Aloric?
[Foreboding Music]
[Footsteps]
[Door Opens]
Aloric!
[Foreboding Music]
[Horse Trotting, Neighing]
This is it, Aloric.
Let's play a game.
It's quite a nice night, isn't it?
Yes, it's quite nice.
Not far now.
[Bird Cawing]
Did you know
that a human's flesh turns tough and bitter with age?
I want to go home.
I don't like it here.
Home?
But you are home, my young prince.
For you were promised to me many years ago
before you were born.
I am... your destiny!
[Cackles]
I don't understand.
Ask your mother.
She was the one that promised me to you.
She was the one that didn't want you.
She wouldn't do that.
Oh, she wouldn't, wouldn't she?
I've got a few truths to tell you about your mother.
She used you to get what she wanted from me.
Used me to become queen.
Gambled your life away over a silly little game.
But not me.
I've wanted you from the beginning, little boy.
[Giggles]
Believe it or not.
My mother didn't want me either.
Or... was it my father?
I can't really remember.
It doesn't matter because I ate them anyway!
[Cackling]
Now, don't be afraid.
Ah.
Wohoo.
Stay here!
You can't leave now, human.
The game's only just begun.
[Sword Swishes]
I told you before.
You do not get to touch my son!
Look who decided to turn up.
Finally get to witness the game
she was supposed to lose seven years ago.
You do not scare me, Rumpelst...
Stop!
[Cackling]
Seven years underground,
with only worms and beetles for friends.
You learn a few new tricks, you see?
Now, which part of the young prince shall I nibble on first?
[Growls]
I wonder if royalty has a different taste.
To all the peasant pauper scum that I'm used to.
[Grunting]
I know who you are.
How do you know?
You're...
[Grunts]
[Grunting]
Rudy, no.
Rumpies, Rumpies.
Woah! What was that?
Rumpal-bibbily-bob?
[Cackling]
Rumpel-thingamajig?
No, that's not my name!
Shush, little child!
Nobody likes their food to talk back to them.
Come here.
Ah! It burns!
It burns!
What is this dark magic?
I've been tricked!
I had it written upon him
so he would never forget the name.
Rumpelstiltskin!
No!
Rumpelstiltskin!
No!
Rumpelstiltskin!
No! No! No!
Be quiet!
Dark Lord of the Forest!
[Sinister Music]
Rumpelstiltskin is here.
And once again, he has failed.
Your debt shall be repaid, imp.
[Wailing]
He is not yours, demon.
The creature who promised him to you is no more.
If he does not come willingly, you cannot take him!
Know of the old ways.
Only from what I read.
Until the next chapter is written.
Queen Evelina.
You're safe.
He cannot hurt us anymore.
[Somber Music]