Downloaded from YTS.LT
[gentle music playing]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.LT
My special! It's about to come out.
[woman] What special?
My stand-up comedy special.
You do stand-up?
What?
When did you start doing stand-up?
I... I've been doing stand-up for like seven years.
- What are you talking about? - Like on stage?
Yeah, like with a microphone.
What are you talking about?
What do you think I do?
You do TikTok.
You're like an influencer. You do videos.
I'm not an influencer.
You like do videos of you in the car,
like, talking to the camera.
Yeah, those are jokes. I post jokes online in my car.
But it's like, I don't know, it's not stand-up.
You're like talking, "Blah-blah, what I wore today."
- I don't know. - These?
These? Is this what you're talking about?
Sarah, that's you sitting in a car.
Yeah, but I do-- That's jokes though.
This message is for Snoop Dogg.
As you requested, I am trying to be toned, tan, fit and ready.
But I'm feeling a little soft, pale, and unprepared, if I'm being honest.
Yeah, that's a video on the internet.
That's a, you're like a funny, like, TikTok girl.
No, I'm a stand-up comedian.
I do those, but I just put a microphone in my hand,
and then it's stand-up.
Instead of sit down in my car, it's stand-up comedy.
I don't like your tone.
I know what stand-up comedy is.
That's what stand-up is!
It's just complaining with punchlines at the end.
You're really about to tell me what stand-up is.
Sarah, I've been doing stand-up 13 years.
And I do what you do.
- No, you don't. - I go with you to the clubs.
Yeah, I thought you just liked the discount on food and drinks.
- Who likes comedy club food? - I didn't...
You were getting on stage at the clubs?
Just watch it.
Sarah Huntington!
[crow cheering]
[gentle music playing]
We're recording a special.
You guys get way more fun real fucking quick.
I'm being serious.
Like, what the fuck was that?
You guys are being fucking hags up here.
Come on.
Hot ladies in the front row.
Hot, hot, hot.
That's my mom. Still hot, obviously.
She made me.
Guys, I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to be in Columbus.
They're like, "Where do you want to film your special?"
I said the Holy Grail,
where everyone wants to film a special.
Columbus, Ohio.
[crowd whooping]
Of course.
Now, I recently got to quit my job to start doing comedy full time.
[crowd cheering]
Don't clap. I didn't say it was going well.
I've been trying to figure out what to do
with all the spare time that I have now.
So here lately, I've just been carving out about three hours a day
to self-diagnose myself on TikTok.
And that's been going pretty well. You guys on TikTok?
It's rotting my brain, dude. Rotting my brain.
I have no attention span at all anymore.
But last night, I did buckle down.
I watched a whole movie. Yeah.
On TikTok.
In one minute increments.
It's rotting my brain. I love it so much.
I love watching those little police videos they have on there.
You guys watch the police chase videos on TikTok?
And I consider myself like a pretty liberal gal, you know?
I'm like, defund the police!
But not their social media team, please.
Keep the cameras on them.
I need my entertainment.
It's rotting my brain. It's rotting my brain.
All I do on there is just self-diagnose myself with stuff.
Are you guys guilty of this?
Self-diagnosing yourself on TikTok?
I convinced myself that I have autism.
Because of TikTok.
I went to an actual psychiatrist and said these words to her.
Made eye contact when I said that, which should have been a red flag.
I was like, "Pretty sure it's gonna be autism, doc."
"Yeah, pretty sure it's gonna be autism."
"I saw a couple TikToks and I don't like lukewarm water, so...
"Yeah. It's probably gonna be autism."
That's what TikTok will do. It'll convince you that you have problems
you didn't even know you had.
But after a few months of talking to her,
we did find out that it is ADHD.
Woo! I have something!
- [woman] Whoo! - Yay! I have it!
I was so excited. I was like, "I got something! Yay!"
Yes! I fit in with the Gen Zs.
She said, yeah, you do have ADHD and because you went undiagnosed for so long,
you probably just have a lot of PTSD.
I was like, PTSD?
Are you telling me I have the same diagnosis as my grandpa
because he went to Vietnam
because I couldn't do math in 7th grade?
Like, that's embarrassing.
My grandpa can't hear fireworks.
I can't hear, like, "Can you figure out the tip?"
Just let me have autism, dude.
Let me have it.
We're like, oh, can you figure out 20%?
And I'm like, "No! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Turn them off! Turn them off!"
Love TikTok.
She was like, "Oh, did your family ever notice
that maybe you had symptoms of ADHD when you were growing up?"
And I was like, "Oh, ma'am, no. Um..."
You see, I come from a white trash family, okay?
I'm the fourth person to graduate high school in my family.
My sister had three kids before she was 21
and my brother was in prison.
The fact that I couldn't read until eight,
not a huge red flag for them. Okay?
They didn't notice that stuff. We didn't talk about mental health issues in my family.
We didn't talk about regular issues we had.
Like, I promise, I wish I was making this up,
I had a cousin,
he just wore a helmet.
Still to this day, we don't know why.
I asked my uncle, like, three months ago,
I was like, "Yo, what was that helmet for?"
He's like, "It helped."
"Any more questions?"
Yeah, did he have like seizures or something like that?
"Nah, Sarah, it's just that when he said weird shit,
so people know he's got something wrong with him."
"What's wrong with you? You need a helmet or something?"
Figuring out a lot about myself in my 30s.
It's weird to figure all this out in your 30s.
But I do, I like the Gen Z's. You guys...
Are there Gen Z's here?
All right, fuck y'all.
I hate the Gen Z's. Fuck them, right?
Hate them. They suck.
Nah, we gotta give them a little bit of credit, guys.
Because they're doing stuff for us, right?
Like, as much as you want to hate them,
they're glorifying things that we used to hate about ourselves, right?
Like, the older generation.
Like, if you figured out that you were gay in middle school,
as a millennial or older,
do you know what you did with that information?
You shoved it down, right?
You didn't tell a single soul, right?
You just walked around, you asked your friends
what their favoriteTwilight character was,
tried to figure out if they were gay too, right?
They're like, "Jacob? Gay."
We didn't talk about that kind of stuff, right?
Like, I didn't even know being gay was an option.
I remember I asked-- Right?
You didn't even, you had no idea.
I remember, I watched a show called Degrassi.
Remember that show, Degrassi?
Yeah, the rapper Drake was in a wheelchair in it.
And I didn't know that he wasn't paralyzed in real life.
I thought he was just a paralyzed person.
So when he came out with that song, "Started From The Bottom, Now We're Here,"
like three years later, I was like, he really did, dude.
That's pretty crazy. He can walk now.
There's a lesbian on that show though, right?
And I didn't know what it was. I had to go home.
I had to ask my very Christian, conservative mother.
I was like, "Mom, what's a lesbian?"
She panicked, dude. She panicked.
She never told anybody this before.
She was like, "Fuck, Sarah, a lesbian."
"Okay, yeah, a lesbian, it's, um...
It's girls that play basketball."
You know, I got older. I found out that's not what a lesbian is
because they play softball and...
Wish she would have just told me what an actual lesbian is, right?
Which is a great relationship
where both parties get off every time.
Because that sounds pretty nice, you know?
Sounds pretty nice.
We've come pretty far in the LGBTQ community though, right?
Like, okay, are there gays here tonight?
Oh, two lone survivors over there.
We've come pretty far, right?
I mean, we're reversing back a little bit,
but like right now, we're doing pretty good.
Right now, we're doing okay, right?
We've progressed at this point so far that we can even hate gay icons now.
Yeah, like that girl JoJo Siwa.
And like, the Gen Z's hate her,
but I think it's like progressive that they hate her, right?
Because they don't hate her because she's gay.
They hate her for who she is as a person.
Call that what you want, ladies and gentlemen.
That's progress, you know?
They're like, yeah, kiss a lady. We don't give a shit about that.
Just quit doing weird shit, dude.
Why are you wearing bedazzled board shorts?
Just to be able to go back and hate somebody at their core again.
Pretty progressive.
Because that's what has to happen, right?
The pendulum has to swing from right to left a lot.
And a lot of times, we're way too far right.
But every once in a while, we swing too far left accidentally.
Remember when we swung it so far left,
we accidentally made Caitlyn Jenner woman of the year?
And I'm a trans ally.
I absolutely think a trans woman can be woman of the year,
but can we pick a better one?
Not her.
I was thinking about it. I was like, who would I want my woman of the year to be
if she was a trans woman?
And I figured it out.
I follow this account called No_Limbs.
You guys familiar with No_Limbs?
Well, you're not gonna believe this, but she has no limbs.
Yeah, no arms, no legs.
But she's a hell of a woman, dude, okay?
She's doing makeup tutorials.
She's contouring with her mouth.
She's incredible. That's who I want my woman of the year to be.
Because you can't hate No_Limbs. How you gonna hate on No_Limbs?
Even if you're one of those people that's like a terrible person
that doesn't like trans people due to your religion,
what are you gonna do? Hate No_Limbs?
Go up to her and be like, "You can't be trans."
God made you perfect just the way you are.
Because you gotta admit, God goofs a little bit sometimes.
He makes a couple little mistakes, right?
He sent her out and the angels were like,
"Did you forget the arms and the legs on that woman?"
He's like, "Yeah, and I put a dick on there. Oh."
Make her woman of the year. Can you imagine
the only limb you get is the one you don't want?
That's my woman of the year.
I don't know if you're allowed to laugh at that.
We're on the right side.
Hopefully you guys are laughing for the right reasons on it.
I don't know. I like being 30. I like being 30. It's interesting.
They don't tell you the things that are gonna happen to you in your 30s.
Um, like, ladies, do you remember eye shadow?
How nice that used to be to put on?
No? Nobody's put on eye shadow here?
Dude, it used to glide on just like a wet pussy.
It was just like perfectly, just went on.
And now every time I put on eye shadow,
it's like putting on a fitted sheet.
I'm just like, "If I just fucking open my eye this way, it'll do it."
They don't tell you you're gonna turn into your mother.
They don't warn you about that.
They don't tell you that, you know?
Like, in your 20s, you're having the time of your life.
You're like, "It's Tuesday. Let's do a line, Marissa."
And you turn 30, and you're like,
"Is there gonna be a line, Marissa?"
"Because I'm not going."
You're having the time of your life.
You're having brunch with your friends in your 20s,
and out of nowhere, you're at a brunch with your friends,
and you hear yourself just go, "Hey, what's the soup of the day?"
Like, "No!"
You're trying to gobble those words back in.
You're like, it's happening, it's happening, it's happening.
And as you're trying to gobble those in, you're like,
"And a glass of Chardonnay!"
Fuck!
No!
It's happening!
And you don't want it to happen, right?
Because as a teenager, you hate your mom, right?
She's the worst.
She's gross, and she's got that weird chin hair.
She sucks, dude.
And then in your 20s,
you start to realize that she did carry the weight of the world on her shoulders,
and maybe she had a right to be mad at you
when you let a stranger pierce your belly button at a Limp Bizkit concert.
And then in your 30s, you realize that chin hair she has
is hereditary.
You're sitting on a Zoom call trying to pick it out.
This can't be happening.
I was not gonna put that joke in the special,
and then I was like, "My mom's friends are gonna love this."
Because they know she has that chin hair.
That's why they laugh so hard.
They're like, "Yeah, no, she does. She does have that chin hair."
That's not even a joke.
That one's just kind of the truth, you know?
Cut this. Uh...
Whew, all right.
For a while there, I was trying to figure out if I was gay
or if I just liked weak men,
and, uh, that was difficult, you know?
Because I did, like, my type, like, for the longest time
was just weak, weak men.
You know, physically and mentally weak,
kind of what I was going for.
Like, low iron, low self-esteem boys, you know?
Like, a little bit of jaundice and daddy issues.
And I'm like, skinny and sad, I'll fuck ya.
That's what I like.
Like, the kind of weak, like, if they got a flat tire on the side of the road,
they ask me how to change it, right?
I'm like, "Let mama do it. Clean out the trunk, pussy."
That kind of weak.
Physically very weak.
Just physically caved in.
You guys know what I'm talking about?
You know those chest dips they get?
Woo!
I'm like, get over here, baby. I'm gonna eat guacamole out of you.
I'm gonna eat you out tonight.
How about that? That's different.
They were hard to find, dude. They were hard to find.
My friends are like, "How you finding them? You getting on Hinge?"
And I'm like, no. Here lately, I've just been hanging outside of vape shops.
Looking for the one that looked like he forgot to eat lunch.
That's my boy. You can see him because of the dark circles.
My friends would make fun of me, you know?
They're like, "Oh, Sarah, doesn't it bother you
that you end up weighing more than your boyfriend?
I'm like, "Doesn't it bother you, Katie,
to think that your boyfriend could kill you with one hand?"
"You ever think about that? Yeah, one hand. You're dead."
My boyfriend wants to kill me, he's gonna have to plan it.
And I know men, he's never gonna figure that shit out.
He's gonna be at the store just like, "Babe,
what kills you?"
I had a weird type for a long time. Very weird type.
I dated two guys that like a finger in their butt.
You guys feel awkward? I just said that in front of my mom.
Fucking loosen up, all right?
Get those assholes a little bit loose for this joke.
And I'll do it, you know?
Like, I'll put a finger in a butt, whatever.
It's not because I'm, like, fun and kinky or anything.
It's just because I want to be loved so bad.
I'm like, whatever you like, me too, I guess, now.
I was dating this one guy, he was like a one-finger fella for the longest time.
And one night he was like, you can put two in.
This is gonna get spicy because we had never done that before, right?
So I was like, "Oh, well, let me take my ring off."
He was like, "Nah, you don't have to, the ring won't bother me."
And I was like, well, my mom got me this ring.
When my cousin passed away, and it has her ashes in it,
and I just can't imagine losing her twice.
She didn't deserve to be up there.
She wasn't a piece of shit, you know?
That was a joke I was gonna take out,
and then I didn't because my mom is here.
And she was like, "Nah, that's true, there is ashes in that ring."
You guys drinking?
[scattered whoops]
Put them up, do something cool.
I don't know.
This is very weird.
I perform for a lot of strangers,
and I see a lot of familiar faces here.
And I know, I love you guys. I'm so happy you guys are here.
She goes, "Do you wanna vape?"
I do.
I think that would solve everything right now, dude.
I gotta quit vaping.
I haven't breathed right in like seven years.
Cut that. Um...
I had to slow down my drinking a lot in my 30s, a lot.
Because every time I would have more than seven drinks,
I would do this really weird thing called cocaine.
Big problem.
I didn't have a problem with cocaine,
but people definitely had a problem with me
when I did it, right?
Because I was under the impression that people did cocaine and they got sexy.
That's what I thought. Like, I thought you did cocaine,
you turned into like one of those hot girls that goes out,
and they dance, and they give blowjobs or whatever.
But like that's not what happened to me, and I think like looking back I'm like
"Oh, it's just the ADHD, right?"
Because I did cocaine
and I was like, "Guys, I think I know how to read."
"We should go home and list the presidents in order."
Slowed down my drinking a lot, a lot. Um...
I slowed down my drinking because I got this infection,
and the doctor told me when I got the infection
they were like, "Hey, we're going to give you a pill,
and on this pill you cannot drink on it for seven days."
If you drink on this pill you will shit out of your mouth or something like that.
I don't know, they made it seem really scary.
So I didn't drink for seven days,
and I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't drank for seven days,
and my biggest fear at the time was that the guy that I was dating at the time
was going to break up with me if I couldn't drink with him for seven days.
I know, isn't that crazy that he did?
It's fine, he got fat and he's a DJ, so fuck him, right?
I just didn't know what to do with all this spare time, right?
Like, do you guys have, um, hobbies?
Oh, it got real quiet.
You guys had a lot to say just a second ago.
You have hobbies?
What's your hobby? Drinking.
Yeah. Not a lot. You have a hobby?
- [woman] Yeah. - What's your hobby?
Dungeons and Dragons.
Oh you're a nerd.
Do you guys know what Dungeons and Dragons is?
Yeah? It's basically like women repellent. Um...
I'm kidding. Is that your girlfriend?
Does she play Dungeons and Dragons with you?
- No. - No.
How do you feel about the Dungeons and Dragons?
Support from afar.
So you have the whole setup,
the map with the shit on it
and you have all your friends over?
You made a Dungeons and Dragons map?
Well yeah, I started a new campaign.
Have you thought about maybe drinking?
Might be a little bit better of a hobby.
I just thought, yeah, I had no idea.
I'm like, what do people do other than drink?
So I was like, I'm going to get my life together. That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to get my whole fucking life together. I bought a planner.
First step that you have to do, right? Get a planner.
Here's the thing, I found out that I was never busy.
Just really hungover all the time.
Because I went to write in the planner and I was like,
wake up.
And that's all I had to do for the whole day.
Just fucking make it through.
All right, I'm almost done.
This has been fun. Really.
- [crowd cheering] - I'm having fun. Are you guys having fun?
Cool.
You guys getting married?
Anybody in here getting married soon?
You guys are getting married soon?
When are you getting married?
[woman] Probably within the next year.
Probably within the next year.
So you're not even engaged.
Oh, you're engaged.
Okay, wouldn't that be crazy if you were like,
"Probably within the next year, right?"
Where's my ring, Johnny?
Have you decided on a venue or anything like that?
No? Do you know where you're going to go for your bachelorette party?
Okay. You're a planner.
You're a planner. You know what you should get?
You should get a little planner.
It really helps with everything.
Where'd you go on your bachelorette party?
- Didn't have one. - You didn't have a bachelorette party? Okay.
Why?
- I was pregnant. - Okay.
That's a wedding in Liberty, Indiana.
It's just like,
you have to wear the long overflow dress
to cover up your belly with every wedding there.
I keep having to go on all these bachelorette parties.
That's like, that's what I keep having to do.
I went to a bachelorette party in New Orleans.
Have you guys heard of this place?
[people] Your hair.
Are we going to ruin the special?
- Cut it. - Cut my hair?
[woman] We gotta fix you.
Keep this. This is actually hilarious.
I have extensions in.
I know I look incredible.
That was actually the cutest thing that's ever happened on stage
is somebody just like fixed my hair for me.
And that's women empowerment, dude.
Talk shit about women all you want.
None of you fat, dumb dudes
would have ever came up here and fixed my hair for me.
In fact, if this was a guy up here
and his guy friends were here
and he had something going on with his hair,
they'd be like, "Dude, look at his hair, he looks like a fucking idiot."
"We're going to film it and put it on YouTube tonight because it's fucking hilarious."
No one hates guys more than other guys.
You guys are assholes to each other.
Okay, anyway, I keep going on all these bachelorette parties.
We went to New Orleans for the bachelorette party.
That place sucks, dude. That place sucks.
And I turned so feminist the minute I walked into New Orleans
because what you're supposed to do there is you're supposed to show your titties for beads.
And I was like, I'm not showing my tits, guys.
I'm not showing my tits for 25 cent beads.
I won't do it.
Three tequila shots.
That's about all it takes.
That's all it takes. Right?
I went up to some bar and I was like, "Whoo!"
Here's what I didn't tell you guys. I have A-cup inverted nipple tits.
Um...
So nobody was excited, right?
I did it and some guy actually came over and he took my beads away from me.
He's like, "Let's get you home, little boy.
I was in front of a church so that was my bad.
I thought it was a bar. That was my bad.
I like these bachelorette parties because I can tell which one of my friends
have gotten more responsible over time, right?
You can always tell by the purse, right?
The bigger the purse, the more responsible they get, less fun they get.
It's an unfortunate series of events that happens to them.
You know what I mean? Because if they have one of those big purses
that they can whip over their shoulders,
they're going to figure out your taxes that night.
"Get in the car" or whatever mom's say. I don't know.
And then you have the girls that have the crossbody bag.
Right? Those are the fun and responsible girls, right?
Anybody here a crossbody bag girl? Fun and responsible.
Looking to get married, not quite there yet.
Because she can fit like her keys and her dignity in there.
- [woman] And my keys! - And her keys. Yes.
And then this is a woman once again, we love women here.
She can strap it on.
She can hold your keys.
She can fuck you with that on. Like that...
And then there's those girls that just have like the irresponsibility pocket
on the back of their phone.
You know what I'm talking about?
It's just got an ID and a debit card in there. That's all they need.
They just show up. They're like, "I don't even have keys."
"I lost them to a DUI like three years ago."
But they're the funnest person on the bachelorette party. I can tell you that.
You'll never find them again.
You'll see them on the first night.
They show up the last day
with just like sticks and mud in their hair.
They're just like, "That was the best time of my life."
I love being back here. I love being back in the Midwest.
I hate living in New York. It's fine.
[sighs] I hate it.
It's very, it's very fun. But I miss, I miss the Midwest a lot.
I grew up in Liberty, Indiana.
[crowd cheering]
Nobody ever cheers for that.
So this is different.
It's a, it's a beautiful city.
If you guys haven't been there, it is very beautiful.
Um, everyone grows their own meth there.
Very beautiful.
Everyone there is just like, we still think Myrtle Beach
is a good place to go on vacation.
Grew up a little bit white trash.
I didn't know that I was white trash though.
Anybody here accidentally find out they're white trash?
It hurts. I didn't know until I got to college.
I joined a sorority in college
and they asked me one time, they were like, "Sarah, what's the first drug you ever did?"
They're like, "Was it Molly or weed?"
And without skipping a beat, I had to look these three girls dead in the eye and I was like,
"One time when I was 13, I tried huffing gas."
I was like, "Is that drugs?"
They're like, "I don't know, but we're so scared of you."
They're like, "Spencer's never gonna like you, knowing that."
And I was like, "Spencer's also a bitch. Not really interested."
Spencer also makes all you ladies wait in line to get to the bars.
I had sex with the line cook so we can get in through the back.
You know, like whose side are you on?
I feel like when I tell people that I grew up white trash,
they automatically assume that I grew up poor.
We did when I was younger, but we came into like a large lump sum
of cash really fast
and I won't bore you guys with the details, but it was the lottery.
Like the worst thing that you can give to white trash people though is money. Right?
Because we didn't know what to do with it.
So we just started buying things we thought rich people bought.
Like the first thing that my dad bought with the money,
I wish I was making this up, was a limo.
A limousine.
It didn't even run.
It just kind of sat in our yard
as the biggest yard ornament that we had.
I was 13 when this happened. Right?
So I didn't realize that this was some like white trash treasure thing to do. Right?
Like my bullies be baffled.
They'd be like, "You have buck teeth."
And I'd be like, "And a limo."
Yeah.
Yeah. So watch your mouth when you're talking to me, Dylan, okay?
You just gotta buy shit, dude.
We bought a pool, above ground, of course.
We could afford the in-ground one,
we just didn't know they came like that.
Nobody taught us how to take care of it either.
You know that family,
you go to their pool and it's just green.
You jump into it, you're like, why is it slippery?
The house is nice, but gross. You're playing that little game,
see who can slide down it the fastest.
My cousin, he bought this really nice boat with the money,
but he was also my dad. And...
I did think my dad was my cousin
because he is, but it's just my third cousin so it's not a big deal.
So I bought my whole family those Ancestry DNA tests for Christmas, right?
I was like, I'll ruin a holiday. I don't care.
I don't have a job. I get to do this.
I'll ruin a holiday for this joke.
When you take those little Ancestry DNA tests,
it kind of tells you where you're from, right?
It'll be like 90% Wales, 9% Sweden, 1% Congo on mine.
Yeah. I was running this joke by one of my friends though.
She thought the part where I said I'm 90% Wales was the joke.
She's like, "Don't say you're a whale, Sarah.
You're not even that big!?
I was like, I'm sorry I don't drink kale smoothies and do cocaine like you, Katie.
Here's a little back story about my friend Katie.
My friend Katie is absolutely beautiful, okay?
She's the type of beautiful I know she's never
had to use her mouth to try and save a relationship
and I think that's great for her, you know?
She is dumb though. She's very dumb. Um...
Like she's an anti-vaxxer
but then she does drugs.
I'm like, have we tried selling the vaccine to her
in a little baggie from some dude named Derek?
She'll try it, I swear. She loves vaccines.
You just gotta crush them up for her.
She's always doing these weird diets, man.
You know, she's vegan
so she won't drink cow's milk
but then she'll let dudes that sell cryptocurrency cum into her mouth.
I'm like, I think you got your liquid priorities wrong, Katie.
She's always trying to get me to do these weird diets with her, right?
She's like, "Oh Sarah, why don't you try and eat some fruit?"
"Have you ever eaten fruit?"
I was like, I don't think I had water until I was like 19, so.
No, I'm not a big fruit gal.
She's like, you should try pineapple.
Pineapple's not only good for you,
it also makes your pH taste better, right?
Are you guys familiar with this or are you guys a bunch of dirties?
Makes everything taste better, right?
And I was like, "That's great, Katie,
but like, I'm a millennial so I'm just trying to figure out
what fruit I have to eat to make my asshole taste better.
I figured it out, it's a banana.
Yeah, you don't even have to eat it.
I did find out that I'm 1% black from that Ancestry DNA test
and I was like, 1% black DNA, like, not a lot.
How could that have happened, right? Um...
But it is a mouth swab test.
So I think I probably should've just brushed my teeth before I took it.
My boyfriend is here, you can't say that in front of him.
Oh yeah, Morgan's in an interracial relationship, that's cute.
I'm in an interracial relationship as well
and it's crazy that my boyfriend still has to deal with racism, right?
To this day.
From my grandma. And...
I'm kidding.
My grandpa's pretty bad about it too.
We're working on it, you know?
And I don't think we can blame old people for being racist, right?
We can't really blame them. I'm not saying that she's a smart person, okay?
She's got an 8th grade education from the hills of Kentucky, alright?
They're not smart people.
I know that she's not like the smartest person in the world
because she named my dad Rancer.
R-A-N-C-E R.
It feels like my grandma was just like,
"I like these letters."
"Put 'em together."
I asked her, I was like, how'd you come up with the name Rancer?
And she's like, "Well, originally I liked the name Rance."
You guys familiar with that name?
Yeah, she's like, "But then I wanted to add an R to the end of it."
And I was like, "Damn, she would add the hard R to a made-up name."
All right, guys, I'm Sarah Huntington. Thank you guys so much.
[crowd cheering]
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