Downloaded from YTS.MX
‎[soft music playing]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Thirty seconds.
-Your coffee tastes just as good as mine. -Mmm.
-Twenty seconds. -Mm-hm.
‎[chicken clucking]
Ten, nine, eight…
Let's smash this day.
Three, two, one…
-Like a milly! -Like a milly!
[boy] I'm here! I'm here! Chicken Man!
‎-[woman] Herman, your tie! [sighs] ‎-[clucking] Chicken Man.
Okay, Chicken Man. Get down, give me your tie.
Hermien, do you have your school project?
-[sighs] -[chicken continues clucking]
-My house, built out of solar panels! -Wow! It looks amazing!
Herman, where's yours?
Here it is.
Ooh, and what exactly is it?
Um…
It's a self-portrait.
Or a very creative expression of your small intestine.
Well done, I'm proud of you!
Watch out for Chicken Man!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ah-ha! What do we have here?
A cat in a bag.
Well, you are the cutest idiom ever.
[Herman] Cutest idiot ever!
-[man 1] Hey, Herman! -[woman 1] Herman!
All you need now are your little whiskers.
-Whoa! Not the permanent marker, please. -Oh!
Let me go get my makeup bag.
-Hey, whose turn was it to take Peet -[comical music continues to play]
-and Penarie back to their coop? -Not me, no.
‎-It was your turn. ‎-[woman 1] Come on.
‎-Wait. ‎-Shh, ssh, shh. Come on.
Don't blame me for your mistake.
-[Herman] No, it was your turn. -Dude!
-Oh, please! -Uh-oh! [groans]
-Not in front of Peet and Penarie. -[man sighs]
Technically, this is murder.
How long have you been watching?
Long enough to know what the coffee in the house tastes like.
Hendrik.
It's "H".
More like "ouch", if you're late for school.
[Herman] Penarie says, "Howzit?"
-[Hermien] Peet says, "Kiss-it!" -[yelps]
Lock him up in a cage!
[Herman and Hermien clucking]
[woman 1] Don't you even think about it!
-Put the chicken down! Okay, guys… -[man 1] Okay, okay, calm down.
-[man 1] Just calm down. -[Hermien] Watch out!
[both exhale] Aah!
[man 2] Nothing smells as good as chaos in the morning.
-[adults sigh] -[chickens clucking]
All of it was under control like ten seconds ago.
Look, we trained them so well.
-Hm, you think so? -Uh, you two, not the kids.
‎-Ah! ‎-[Hermien] Mom
‎-and Dad are home! ‎-Hello.
-Hey! -Good Morning.
-[mom] Hello, my lovey [exclaims] -[dad] Lovey! Hello!
-Look, it's my cat. Look out! -Hello, my boy.
-Hurry, hurry, hurry! -Hello, my bunny.
What did the doctor say?
Will little Henry be okay?
Luckily, he only had a little bit of wind.
He just needed to let out a big old fart, and he'll be better.
[man 2] Yep, he made quite a fuss about it, like when she gave birth to him.
When you pop one out, then we can talk.
-[man chuckles] -Okay, you silly sausages.
Your godparents have to go, our office children await.
[mom] Are you sure you don't want me to come and lend a hand?
Under no circumstances. Denise and I have it under control. Remember,
I'm the control freak, you're the incubator.
-Through thick and thin? -Mm-hmm.
Thick and thin.
Bye, you little rascals!
-[kids] Bye, Auntie, bye, Uncle. Love you! -[uncle] Alright, you guys. Love you.
Hertjie,
I'm waiting outside.
Oh! I'll get my suit and tie.
[mom] Bye, Bassons!
[kids] Bye, Uncle, bye Auntie!
‎[exhales tiredly]
-I love them… -Mm-hm.
Love them, but I love it when we give them back.
How do Hertjie and Karla survive this every morning?
I'd rather argue with a boardroom full of old men
than a five-year-old whose sandwiches
-aren't cut into circles. -[chuckles]
You're right.
Raising kids isn't that different from what we do every day at work.
Hertjie!
I'm just having a wee!
The only difference is when my clients are difficult, I take their yachts away.
Ironically enough, we have all the skills to be amazing parents.
Well, it's not too late.
‎-[birds chirping] ‎-[calm music plays]
I can't believe the Jackal said that.
The same guy that made me promise at the altar that
if he ever chose babies over business, I could have him certified.
You can only do so many business deals and
that was a long time ago.
Precisely. We're getting ol--
[inhales] More mature.
And we've tried everything, JP.
Mojo and Amalgamated Media are our family.
How many times have we been through this? [sighs]
Where are we going to find time in our schedules to take care of a little baby?
You have dinner on an airplane more than you do at home,
and I babysit neurotic clients 24/7.
[JP] It's not that bad, we can change things.
I can change things.
[Jaci] You mean selling your 27 companies
or trading your McLaren for a station wagon?
Uh, I can make a plan. I can put a roof rack on the McLaren.
Okay, you have a point. We're too busy.
Just for the record, you'd be the hottest mom at the parent-teacher meeting.
‎-Hmm. ‎-[sighs]
Someone wrapped my briefcase in toilet paper!
Yep, definitely the right decision not to have children.
Definitely.
-See you at the office. -[lively music plays]
‎[kisses]
-Ah-ah! You chancer. -[sighs]
‎[both grunting]
-Yes! -[groans]
Uh, loser.
‎-[car engine revving] ‎-[lively music continues playing]
[Hertjie] So, have you and Jaci talked about the whole Dubai thing?
[JP] Uh… [groans]
-[JP] We've emailed each other about it. -Oh!
Your phones have a fantastic marriage.
And it's not a thing yet.
Establishing a rugby league in the Emirates doesn't happen overnight.
We need to do our due diligence, so does the investor and his people.
And where does your wife fit into this "due diligence"?
Jaci isn't crazy about the idea of me spending six months of the year in Dubai.
Neither am I!
Look, if Jaci gets the baby product pitch or deal after this weekend,
we can technically let the Dubai thing go.
I'm just hedging our bets.
[sighs] You know they're not going to have any biltong in Dubai, right?
‎[car engine roaring]
‎[lively music continues to play]
Morning, Partner.
How are things on the creative side?
Outstanding.
-GreenFuture signed yesterday. -Mm!
And MAD Consulting was happy with the budget for their new campaign,
and everything for the YBAB pitch is coming together nicely.
-Great. -And on the business side?
JP's going to kick the Dubai guys' butts.
-[woman 2] What? -[JP] Ha ha! No, he's… just kidding.
We're going to entertain the investor
and his entourage this weekend in the Cape.
Tourist vibes, you know. Kirstenbosch,
Table Mountain, some paragliding, shark cage diving.
-Nice. -And the Spur in Sea Point.
For some reason, they always insist on it.
-And on Saturday night, [grunts] -[access card beeps]
we're partying at his holiday mansion,
where two ex-Springboks will be making a surprise appearance.
-A surprise for them or for you? -[snickers]
‎[clears throat]
It's good for business, Denise.
And while the entourage is asking for autographs and taking selfies,
[inhales] he'll accept the deal and we'll officially become
the agency of a new rugby league in the Middle East.
[chuckles] Jaci and I will be running around this weekend between YBAB,
nappies and bum cream.
[chuckles softly]
I'm hungry.
‎[apprehensive music plays]
What?
How sure are you, Doctor?
Is Naas Botha a Springbok?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Is Bobby van Jaarsveld the best Bobby?
So…
definitely not maybe, just perhaps uh, early menopause?
Definitely, perhaps, maybe, for a fact an early pregnancy.
[laughs in disbelief] But that's
impossible.
All seven of my previous doctors said I couldn't get pregnant.
You! You said that I couldn't get pregnant.
That JP's soldiers are swimming in circles and my ovaries
are lazy because my brain's overworked.
Besides,
JP and I made peace with the fact that
we weren't going to have children.
We're too damn busy for a baby!
-What if… -[dramatic music plays]
What if we get a divorce?
[inhales] Children can destroy a marriage.
No. This
is just--
Besides, I'm at the pinnacle of my career.
And I'm like one of three companies in Africa that has
been asked to pitch for a multimillion dollar contract!
That's like an entire continent!
-Congratulations. -[Jaci] Thank you.
We worked so hard to get this pitch and--
[Doctor Bos] Congrats on the pregnancy.
Um, you should take it easy, yeah?
It's a geriatric pregnancy.
Geriatric?
-Look, I may be old but-- [gasps] -But not cold yet. Clearly not.
Uh, it seems to me you're only starting to warm up. [laughing]
If I was you two right now, I'd start thinking about a good, strong baby name.
Ignatius.
Now, that's a great name.
And what if it's a girl?
‎Mmm.
‎[comical music plays]
‎[laughing]
‎[soft music plays]
[Hertjie] Aw, you got baby fever from my kids.
Uh, it's for Jaci.
Huh?
-I don't think it'll fit her. [laughs] -Ha!
‎[sighs]
You know, it's not too late for you to have a mini Jacki.
I can't expect Jaci to… give up her career for this.
Have you discussed it with her yet?
Aah! No, wait, you probably emailed each other.
It's complicated, okay?
The swimmers aren't exactly mini Ryk Neetlings.
You can have one of our five.
Karla won't even notice. In fact, she'll even pay you.
[chuckles] Maybe one day.
Hey! One day becomes yesterday, and then…
you have to clean out your prostate.
-What? -I'm just saying.
Ah, it's a nappy-pic. [chuckles]
A what?
A nappy-pic from Karla. Look.
It looks like a map of Africa.
Hertjie, please take your poop-porn and leave.
-Hm, could be Italy as well. -Hertjie!
-Hmm? -Door.
‎-[indistinct office chatter] ‎-[sad music plays]
‎-[phone ringing] ‎-[indistinct chatter]
-Hello. -[Jaci] Hi.
‎Okay.
‎[exhales]
-[door opens] -[JP] Hey.
-[gasps] -This is for you.
What? [splutters] Wa… wa… wait. Who did you talk to?
It's your invite to the YBAB weekend.
-It ended up on my desk. -Oooh!
The weekend. Of course. [chuckles nervously]
Hey, check this out.
This lady is the perfect example of someone who moved to America,
but still took Benoni along with her.
‎[Jaci sighs]
-[woman 3] Hi there, all y'all! -Look here.
-Okay. -I'm Marietjie Koekemoer,
founder and heart of YBAB,
America's most trusted baby products.
Way back in 1993,
I found myself, a South African country pumpkin,
all on my own-some on a ranch in the middle of big ol' Texas,
raising five busy little munchkins.
I had to come up with my own lotions and potions.
So, I started playing around with a bunch of home grown ingredients,
and before you could say dirty diaper,
I started sharing my concoctions with my new American friends,
-and oh my golly gosh they just loved it! -"Concoction".
And so, YBAB was "born".
Designed for parents, loved by babies.
‎[playful music plays]
[voices harmonizing] YBAB.
Benoni, hmm? [chuckles, exhales]
So then, speaking of babies,
um, I was at the gynae for my checkup this morning
-and-- -[Denise] Did you see the email?
[pants] The three agencies going through to the final round of
the YBAB pitch this weekend are us, Northern Star,
-and JDW! -And JDW!
JDW?
-As in Joubert de Waal Advertising JDW? -Mm-hm.
Who's Joubert de Waal?
JP's boarding school roommate from high school.
-Oh, that Joubert? -[Denise] What do you mean "that Joubert"?
Joubert was top pupil, he was chosen as head boy,
and first team rugby captain instead of JP.
And he was voted most likely to succeed.
Okay, Hertjie, thanks for that history lesson.
-Oh! And he stole JP's first girlfriend. -Herklaas!
I wonder if he still has that punch-me face.
Yeah, he…
Google him quickly. Yes! Check your Facetagram page.
How are the three of you still not on social media?
Hm! I'm actually quite proud of it.
[sighs] Tumi!
Your Facebook account, please.
Um, Joubert de Waal.
You guys seriously have to stop doing this.
What kind of Ad agency doesn't have
their execs on social media?
Actually surprisingly well and effective. Thank you.
Yes, we don't have time for "Tortilla Wrap slap challenges" and lip-sync videos.
Is this him?
[Hertjie] Yep. Mr. Boarding school in all his glory.
I thought you and JP were roommates at school?
Only in matric.
After Joubert complained that JP tried to kill him
in his sleep with his cultural award trophy.
For the 100th time, Hertjie, that's not what happened, okay?
I was only looking at the trophy that everyone knew should've been mine!
[Jaci] What? No ways! Is that…
[JP] What? How could--
Joubert de Waal is married to…
[all] Chadrie!
And they've got YBABs.
How did Chadrie end up with him?
I can kind of see it.
Joubert has a sort of uh… Markus 2.0 vibe going on.
[Jaci] They look like "Rent-a-family".
They look like a YBAB Ad campaign.
Hmm.
She's right.
JP,
I think you should rather go play happy family
with Jaci at the YBAB pitch.
Take Hertjie and Karla with you.
-De… De… Denise. -Denise.
I can keep the investor and his people busy.
With all due respect, Denise, what do you know about rugby, huh?
Definitely more than I know about nappies and bum cream.
Denise tends to break out in hives if any child comes within a 3km radius of her.
JP, right now we need the Jackal
‎if we're going to stand ‎a chance against JDW and that thing.
The YBAB contract is more important than the Dubai deal.
And we need our A-team at Hazendal this weekend, and that's you four.
-Come on, we need to make arrangements. -[sighs, grunts]
Uh, JP,
before you go, uh…
I can't believe I'll have to spend the weekend with
finger biscuits and dirty nappies instead of beer and the Boks.
Finger biscuits aren't that bad.
They are if Springboks was on the menu.
‎[hesitates] Ah…
[Denise] Jaci, you coming?
Yep. Yeah.
-Ah, come now, milk tart of my heart. -[crying]
You loved the pumpkin yesterday.
Okay, okay. Choose.
Booby or pumpkin-porridge?
Okay, okay, okay, Henry. Um…
Here, here. Here we go. [feigned gasp]
-Hmm, nom, nom, nom. Nom! [sighs] -[indistinct chatter]
Fine.
-Okay, okay. There you go. -[Jaci] Hey!
-[Jaci] Where are you? -[Karla] At the back.
Jeez, what's going on here?
Master Chef Bellville decided he prefers condensed milk
instead of baby food and mommy milk.
Why are you here so late?
Uh… [sighs]
Something interesting came up today and I'd really like to talk to you about it.
As long as it's nothing to do with babies, baby food, or where babies come from.
Jaci, I can't anymore.
I feel like a melting ruler.
At least you have the YBAB weekend to look forward to.
Yeah, Tumi called me.
Can't you leave Henry at your mom's as well?
Nope, you know what she's like.
If her boobs were detachable, she would've lost them a long time ago.
Last time, she sent Henry home with a balloon, which was
in reality, a giant inflated condom.
Wait. Why does my mother have condoms?
[sighs] And this?
Oh. Mom guilt.
Every time I think I've done something wrong,
in goes a 20 rand, so by the time Henry's 16,
he can go and see a psychologist of his choice.
-Classic Karla. -[indistinct chatters]
-Uh… uh… -[comical music plays]
Sorry, what did you want to talk about?
‎-So… ‎-[kids arguing]
-Take this! -Hey! Not near--
Hey! No throwing in the house! There's windows!
And Herman,
stop wrapping presents for your buddies in your underpants!
-[Herman] Okay. -[Karla groans]
Sorry, what were you going to tell me?
-[Henry crying] -You know, um…
Uh, we… we can chat this weekend.
Okay, okay. Yay, look who's here.
-What smells like candy floss? [sniffing] -[kids chattering]
No, wait. It's… [sniffs] like sea sand and candy floss. [sniffing]
-Man, your nose is imagining things. -[Hermien] Look, it's Dad.
-Huh? -[Hermien] Shoot him!
-[yelps] -Wait, I'll shoot you back!
-[Hertjie growls excitedly] -Hertjie, stop!
-[excited chatter] -I'll get you!
-Bye! -[growls excitedly]
-[Hertjie] Take that! -Look at what your brothers are doing.
-[Karla] Sorry Jaci, we will chat later. -[excited chattering]
-[Karla] Bye! -[Henry crying]
‎[birds chirping]
‎[lively music playing]
‎[car engine roaring]
Ugh, thank goodness. I need to go pee. [sighs]
Again? We already stopped twice on our way here. You okay?
-What did Dr. Tunnel Vision have to say? -[sighs]
After all these years, it's still not funny.
[chuckles] It's his joke. What did he have to say?
Uh… Actually, quite a lot. Um…
‎[smacks lips]
I'm actually…
-Dammit! -[wheels screeching]
Goodness!
-Where are his parents? -[car engine]
‎[JP scoffs]
People who can't look after their children simply should not have them, right?
It's an easy equation. [exhales]
It's not always that easy to plan when you're going to have kids.
I think we've managed well enough so far.
Well, it's easy when you're not going to be in the same country half the year.
Dubai's a back-up plan.
Just in case this YBAB pitch doesn't pull through,
which it obviously would, because you're brilliant and… [inhales]
there's nothing JDW has that Mojo doesn't have even more of.
Apart from children.
What's up with you?
Nothing. [scoffs]
I need to go wee quickly.
‎-[door opens then closes] ‎-[lively music crescendos]
-[Hertjie] Alright son, now, lesson 71. -[toys jinglling]
Always read books, hmm? [sighs]
A tree smiles whenever you open a book because
-it knows there's life after death. -Yeah.
[Hertjie] Yes. Yeah. [sighs loudly]
Speaking of books, um, I uh…
saw the book next to your bed about fifty types of gray.
Amazing.
I thought there was only one type of gray,
but you know, gray dove, gray dogs,
gray clouds, gray road,
gray mountains, gray mice, gray birds, gray gray…
-[JP] Do you have my wallet? -Yeah, somewhere. I--
-Ouch! Sorry, I didn't -Oh! Ow, ow. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
-see you there. Hello. My gosh, that hurt. -So sorry. I'm so sorry.
-Jaci?! Oh my word! -Ah. Chadrie!
Oh, I've always wanted to butt heads with you!
‎-Huh. ‎-Hi!
Joubie-Boubie, let me introduce you. Come look who's here.
Ah!
It's not necessary, my little pom-pom nose.
‎-Oh! [laughs] ‎-poop!
[Joubert] We're old friends.
This is the guy I told you about the other day who missed that pass
and cost us the Craven Week trophy in our matric year.
[exclaims] JP!
Are you "Ball-drop Basson"?
‎-[Joubert] Mm-hm. ‎-[Chadrie chuckles]
-Japes! -Hey.
-Okay. -[grunts]
I can't even remember when last… [inhales] I didn't want to see you. Hey!
-Yeah. Who's this? -This is uh… She's Jaci, my wife.
-Your wife? -Hm-hm.
Gosh!
I didn't think I'd ever hear those words from the Jackal's mouth.
-[Chadrie] Oh, yeah? -[Joubert mimics mind-blowing sound]
He used to make out with a lot of girls in highschool.
-Really? -[mimics make-out sounds]
-Behind the pavilion. -Ew. Ew, gross.
-[feigned shudder] -[Jaci] Joubert,
It's a pleasure. I've heard so many stories about you.
Funny, I haven't heard anything thing about you, sweetheart.
‎[awkward silence]
Gross! Oh, I have to go burn my dress.
-Hey! -[startles] What?
What the-- [gasps]
-Is that Chadrie? -Shh!
So, you guys are from Mo-Yo?
Uh, it's Mojo.
-Mojo! Mojo. -Mojo. Mo… Mojo.
I was wondering who you'd send this weekend, you know,
someone who would play the happy family.
Although, you two don't look like much of a family.
[Chadrie] Oh! Uh…
And this is our happy family.
-This is Chabert. -Chabert!
And this is Joudrie.
Get it?
-Cha-Drie Jou-Bert. [chuckles] -[comical music plays]
This two are twins.
They were born on the same day. A Monday.
Oh, and here is our little surprise!
Oh, cutie, you're so beautiful.
This is Chardonnay.
Say hello to them.
[kids] We're pleased to meet you, good lady and sir.
We're eagerly looking forward to getting to know both of you better.
[Chadrie] Did you hear that?
-[excitedly] It rhymes. -[chuckles]
Okay, go read your dictionaries.
And remember, when I get back I want to know what happened in the story.
Go sit on the couch. And no screen time, okay?
[Joubert] That's the future president
-and UN ambassador sitting over there. -Yes!
Interesting that you want to pitch for a baby brand without a baby.
Uh-huh. Well uh, Mojo recently signed
the "Catilicious" cat food account and we're not cats.
Yeah, yeah. It's like those um… that intercontinent…
[inhales] Intercontinenti-- [groans]
Man, the contract you signed for the
nappies for old people. And it's not like you wear nappies
-everyday. Okay. -Thanks, Chads. I think they get it.
[Karla] So, that's the Joubert who always used to call you "Pizza-face"
and that's the reason you still don't eat pizza till this day?
[scoffs] You know his bite is bigger than his bark.
-Huh? -It is.
[Joubert] You know, JP,
it's kind of tragic that you of all people, shoot blanks.
[Chadrie] Shame, you guys, shame. It's really just…
Babies are the best thing that has ever happened to us.
It's as if a little light was turned on in our lives. As if that little light…
came out of my body.
-[mimics thudding, explosion sounds] -It's just like… [mimics mind-blowing]
-[mimics explosion sounds] -In your face!
Yeah. I would never have thought your empty sack would've landed me a contract.
[Jaci] You know, uh, JP has very healthy, um…
-Oh, pears. -Pears.
-We say pears. Children. Healthy pears. -They shouldn't hear, you know.
So, is your grapevine a bit dried out or is it…
[Karla] Dry grapevine?
Empty sack?
It seems once a jackass, always a jackass.
A jackass with the right optics to win the YBAB contract.
‎[dramatic music plays]
‎[grunts]
‎Okay.
‎Mm! [sighs]
‎[playfully] Woo woo woo!
Here you go! A fresh nappy.
And that's the last time I'm changing your baby's nappies this weekend.
Yeah!
The only thing the little one wants now is his mommy
and his daddy.
‎[sighs]
Do… Do you two…
‎[Henry cries]
No blanks here buddy.
Only cannonballs.
-Yep. -[chuckles nervously]
This is Henry,
our baby.
So you have a child?
But… how?
-[Chadrie] Oh, Joubie-Boubie, -[hesitates] Uh…
when a mommy and a daddy
love each other very much, they lie in a bed together
-and-- -Chads! [grunts] Yeah. Mm-hm, yeah.
[inhales] And you guys?
What is your name again?
It's Hertjie.
-[Chadrie] Hertjie. -[Joubert] Hertjie.
-It's Hertjie. -Hertjie.
Pizza-face. Pizza-face.
He had a terrible pizza face. Do you have children?
[sighs] Yeah.
The four terrorists are with their grandma.
-[Chadrie] Four?! -Four?
-Oh my goodness. -Four?
[Joubert] Four? Are you trying to singlehandedly
-ruin the world? [chuckles] -[exclaims]
Personally I really couldn't imagine a weekend without my children.
-Me neither. -No.
-[Hertjie chuckles] I can. -Me too.
For example, I want absolutely nothing to do with our youngest this weekend.
-Ah, well, surely not absolutely nothing? -No, surely not nothing?
Is there a pool? I'm sure there is one. Come on, Hertjie.
-Bye! [giggles] -Yayy!
-No, but-- -[JP] I…
-[Hertjie] Yes. -[JP] Um…
-Aw, guys, he's beautiful. -[sighs]
[Jaci] What have you done?
Me? What have I done? What did Hertjie and Karla do?
We have to take him back right now.
Whoa, whoa. Let's just think about this. Just for a minute.
[Jaci] JP, there's nothing to think about. It's not our baby!
Yes, but only a few of us know about it, so technically…
-Don't say it. -we can pretend to be his parents and…
Am I speaking in subtitles?
…we can convince the YBAB lady we're a happy family.
You just said it! [sighs]
My love, we've tried this little white lie thing before and it blew up in our faces!
It wasn't all that bad. I got you out of the deal afterall.
-[Henry whines] -JP, focus.
This contract is important. More important than the Dubai rugby thing.
We can't do both if we have a ba--
[JP] If we what?
‎[pensive music playing]
If we have a…
If we what?
‎-[Henry crying] ‎-[sighs]
How are we going to get any work done with this?
Okay, you're right.
It's a stupid idea. We must give him back.
Thank you!
Wait, wait, wait. What about Joubert?
What about Joubert? Tell him he misheard us.
-[grunts] -Okay, bobby-wobby.
We're going to take you back to your mommy and daddy soon.
Yep. And that's why people our age shouldn't have kids.
If we did, it wouldn't really be such a bad idea, would it?
-[Henry wailing] -Give him back.
We're going to Mommy and Daddy. Coo, coo, coo. Shh, shh, shh.
‎-[indistinct chatter] ‎-[gasps]
-What? Wha… wha… what are you doing? -It's her.
The Elon Musk of baby products.
-It's her. -Okay, okay. What do we do now?
‎-[all laughing] ‎-[Joubert] Anything you know.
[Chadrie] Yoo-hoo!
JP! Jaci!
Hello!
-[exhales] -Hey.
Okay. Let's get this over with quickly.
Oh, that's JP and Jaci from… What's the name of the company again?
-Mojo. -FOMO. Ah, so forgettable.
And they lost the "Cars you can trust" campaign to us, JDW recently.
No, I know who they are, but who is this little cutie pie?
-Oh, well, he's actually our um… -Oh,
he's such a strong little chap.
And he looks like an exact copy of you two.
Please tell me his name.
[smacks lips] Uh, the baby's name is… Henry.
-Henry, hello. -[chuckles softly]
Are you here to help your mommy and daddy this weekend?
Oh, he's such a cutie.
-Mommy, you must be so proud. -[softly] Woo-woo-woo.
-Very! -Mmm.
You are so adorable.
I think I should give you the YBAB contract.
‎[bell dings]
Yeah. Well, uh… yeah. Little
Henry is actually also little YBAB ambassador in the making.
-Mm-hmm. -[Joubert clears throat]
Look, look! Um, Chadrie and Chardonnay are wearing the same outfit. They're matching!
I quickly made it myself, out of curtain scraps that I recycled, like Mary Poppins.
Well, we don't really like to dictate to Henry what he has to wear.
On the other hand, we believe children need guidance.
Mm-hm. In the right direction, yes.
Ooh! I just love a little bit of healthy competition!
I guess it wouldn't be much of a pitch without babies, right?
-Guess not. -Definitely not.
[Marietjie] Ooh, I'm so excited, I can't wait for our pitches for next week.
You guys should use this weekend to get familiar with the YBAB products properly.
I like it when my finalist's pitches are based on their own personal experiences.
Love it, love it, love it.
You're right. Being a father for the last 11 years
has been my greatest honor.
How old did you say Henry was again?
-Uh, about five, six -Uh, maybe five or six years.
-months! Months. -Months!
Henry is an old soul.
He's uh… He's our greatest inspiration.
Oh, Sonja Herholdt is my greatest inspiration. [chuckles]
-[sighs] Marietjie. -[startles]
We're ready for the official YBAB welcome in the Glasshouse.
Oh, copy that. See you later on the dance floor.
-Well, -See you.
may the best baby… [clears throat] I mean, pitch win.
Hmm. Joubert,
I hope you have some adult diapers in that bag,
cause things could get messy.
‎-[laughing] ‎-[sneering]
Okay, we're officially the parents of a fake baby.
Fake parents of a real baby.
Oh, this idea is so terrible, it…
It… it might actually work. And it's only for the weekend.
JP!
It's not just for the weekend. It's--
And Hertjie and Karla are also here so… [inhales]
Soon we'll swap the nappy bag for a laptop bag. It'll be fine.
‎[upbeat music playing]
-Oooh. -It's nice.
‎-[Chadrie] Cheers. ‎-[Jaci] JP.
‎[indistinct conversation]
What's wrong?
[clears throat] It tastes a little funny. I um…
I just brushed my teeth.
-Yeah. -Hm, no, you didn't.
Well, then it's just bad champagne, okay?
I need to go pee.
Okay, more for me then.
‎[indistinct chatter]
‎[lively music stops]
This wine is nice.
‎-[Hertjie humming excitedly] ‎-Oooh.
‎Mmm!
‎[laughs]
So, this is what a weekend without kids is like.
[yawns] No nagging at all.
Or secondhand baby food everywhere.
-And tonight, we'll sleep like babies. -[snickers]
Hopefully not how our baby sleeps at night.
Uh-huh. Jaci and JP have no idea what's waiting for them this weekend.
‎[children chattering]
‎[both laughing]
‎[indistinct chatter]
‎-[indistinct chatter] ‎-[Marietjie whistles]
Hi there, all y'all. How you doing?
I guess I could just say, howzit?!
[laughs] Oh, man. It is so nice to be back in my home country
and to finally launch YBAB on African soil.
A big YBAB welcome to all my distinguished guests.
My influencers, the retailers, members of the media,
and of course, the agency representatives
who will be pitching to promote my awesome brand
-to the rest of the African continent. -[comical music plays]
Folks, you have been invited here to learn all about my products,
but most importantly, you are here to have a great time while doing it!
‎-Ya-hoo! ‎-Yeah!
So, let's kick off this weekend with the "Y-NOT" dancing
and Vodka tasting event, because
why shouldn't parents have a little bit of fun too?
Love it.
Come on, people, let's get our feet moving.
‎-[crowd clapping and cheering] ‎-[upbeat music plays]
Marietjie, that was a wonderful speech.
When was the last time you slow danced?
The last time was on Noah's boat.
Then you're in the right hands.
‎-Hmm? Woah! ‎-[yelps]
Hey, let's go.
‎[upbeat music fades]
‎-[glass clattering] ‎-Aw,
I have to say, I miss holding my baby boy.
Ugh, pull yourself together. It's for the contract, remember.
-[inhales] -Yeah, you're right.
-Henry is a working baby now. -[exhales]
Exactly. Maybe he'll infect JP and Jaci.
I think JP has the baby fever anyway.
That or a mid-life crisis.
He's so restless.
He thinks we're in Dubai, but this is for families.
-Henry will sort that out quickly. -Yep.
‎[sighs]
Or what if we left his baby monitor with them, we'll always be able to listen in.
Clever, but… [sighs]
I want one more drink before we check on him.
-[in Russian accent] Well, if you insist, -Oooh.
-then shaken not stirred, Papa. -[comical music plays]
Oh! I love it when Russian Karla comes out.
Dostoevsky.
Ooh! Mikhail.
Mikhail Gorbachev.
St… Stroganoff.
‎Hmm. [sniffs]
‎-[birds chirping] ‎-[comical music playing]
No way.
Just slap me with a wet fish from Fish Hoek.
Those two are lying.
And De Wet agrees. "The Jackal with a baby?"
Laugh emoji, laugh emoji, laugh emoji.
JP would've said something at the reunion the other day.
He wouldn't have stopped bragging.
-"Look at my baby, look at my baby." -Joupie-Boubie, will you just let it go.
It's story time and the kids are in bed.
And there's nothing about them and the baby online.
Not even on social media.
‎[scoffs]
-I'm going to go to that dance. -No!
And I'll see…
-what I can find. -Come on.
I'll talk to Hertjie as well.
Him and JP, tight as butt cheeks.
‎[comic music continues]
Joubert Johagen de Waal, you promised
you wouldn't leave us on our own again this weekend.
-Chads. -No.
-Chads. -Mm-mm.
We're doing this for us, our children,
and all the babies in Africa.
And South Africa.
-And South Africa. -Yes.
Yes.
My man!
‎[snaps fingers]
Do you have the baby monitor? Aah!
It's here, neatly tucked under the blanket.
‎[both laughing]
Oh, thank goodness.
-[Jaci] Please, just take the baby. -Yes, please.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but
-he won't stop screaming. -I… I think he has…
He smells funny. His nappy is full.
‎-[Hertjie sniffs] ‎-Hmm.
Yep. Smells like a spine-crawler to me.
Hmm, you know my rules about changing your baby's nappies.
Oh, no, no, girl. This is part of the borrow-our-baby-package.
Yep, he's yours for the weekend and that includes his nappies.
Me and my wife…
‎[playful music plays]
are dancing.
No, wait. Listen, we don't want this.
[Karla] I've put some breast milk in your fridge.
See you too later, or not.
The night is still an embryo.
‎[sniffing]
-Stop smelling me, Hertjie! -Hey!
‎-[teasing excitedly] ‎-Oh! [giggles]
Hey! Hey!
‎-[both singing excitedly] ‎-[scoffs]
Hey! [whistles] Hey!
-Hey! -[Jaci sighs]
-Hey. -Yo!
-Joubert. -What's up?
-Okay then. -Great.
Have a good evening.
‎-[door shuts] ‎-[comical music plays]
‎[knocking rapidly]
‎-[door opens] ‎-[clears throat]
Yes, Joubert?
Did uh, you guys forget something?
Yeah.
‎[JP] Mm-hm.
‎[lively music plays]
‎-[Hertjie] Wooo! [laughs] ‎-Wooo! Wo-hoo!
[singing] Throw water, throw sand, we are on fire.
Throw water, throw sand, we are on fire.
You know, Joubert, the only thing that will help you is stop, drop and roll.
Uh, look at this move.
‎[grunting and groaning]
‎[grunts]
‎[Jaci groans]
Okay.
-You're changing the nappy. -That's-- Me?
-Why should I do it? -Because I dealt with the babygrow.
-Okay, let's do it. -Cool.
-Okay. -[Henry crying]
-It's just a poop. Just a poop. -Hm.
-[JP] Here we go. Here we go. [yelps] -Oh! Watch his weapon.
-The one in the front or in the back? -Ugh.
-[JP] Ugh. -[crying]
That is…
‎[gags]
-[moaning] Mm. Mm-mm. -What does she feed you?
Okay, open the bag.
Close it.
-Oh, wet wipes. Get the -[groans] No.
wet wipes.
Can't we just rinse him under the tap?
He's a baby, not a frying pan.
Okay, just lift his feet, I'll wipe.
-Yes, Mister-I-change-diapers-everyday. -Just lift his feet.
‎[JP groans with disgust]
Oh! I've got poop…
I've got poop on my-- [gagging]
[gagging]
Is this the guy they call the Jackal now?
Let's see if we can try and keep this one clean, okay?
Yes! Ooh-la-la.
‎-[Henry pooping] ‎-[sighs]
Definitely his father's child.
With his mother's lungs.
‎-[sighs] ‎-[moans]
‎[indistinct chatters]
-Mmm. -To us.
-Freedom.
-Ah. -[laughs]
-[sighs] -Taste it.
-Is he… -Seriously?
Oh, this guy.
Is he behind us?
-I think so. -[glasses clinking]
I can feel it.
‎[Hertjie clears throat]
How can we help you, Joubert?
I thought we could have a chat about the old days.
Why do you want to do that?
Hmm. There's a…
You have a… hm… [hesitates]
Your blouse is leaking.
‎[gasps]
-Um… [yelps] -Um…
‎[Karla grunting, giggles]
What do you mean?
‎[both laugh nervously]
Another drink?
[Karla] Yes, I thought you'd never ask.
‎[both continue laughing]
So, Jaci and the Jackal have a child.
-Mmm, yep. Like -Yeah,
‎-yeah. ‎-most people here do. And you, and us.
We…
I just thought that after the fiasco with his father and stepmother
he'd never want to reproduce.
Yes, well… people change.
Will you excuse us, please?
We want to enjoy the break from our five monsters.
Five? But earlier you said there were four.
-Four, five, -Four…
-five. -fifty. It's a lot of children.
[laughs] They just kept following the way out. Bye, Joubert!
‎Mm!
Did I just say too much to him?
[scoffs] Relax, He's as dangerous as a pack of tissues.
‎[sniffs]
Would you rather check on Jaci and JP?
Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
-[Hertjie laughing] -I mean, what could go wrong? [laughs]
-[JP] Where's his volume control? -What?
Do something!
Throw salt on him.
‎[Henry crying]
‎-[soft music playing] ‎-[jingling sounds]
Oh. Ah. See?
[JP] Shit.
‎[sighs]
‎[Henry continues crying]
‎-[Jaci cooing] ‎-[upbeat music plays]
‎[both giggling playfully]
‎[Henry crying]
‎Shh. shh, ssh.
‎[upbeat music fades out]
‎[birds chirping]
‎[soft music playing]
‎[Henry cooing]
‎Oh! What!
Um…
When do you think the fun part of being a parent starts?
It can't be that bad.
Millions of people do it every day.
‎[Henry babbling]
Aw, you two make a beautiful picture.
Maybe this little one will grow on us.
I told you we'd be amazing parents.
So, speaking of parents… [sighs]
-[door opens] -[Karla] Hello!
-[Karla] Oh! -[door closes]
-Oh, mommy's little precious boy [sighs] -[JP grunts]
-My little pop-tart. -Hi… [cooing playfully]
Yes.
Come, let's give Aunt Jaci and Uncle JP a little me-time and you boob-time.
-Hmm. -Yes.
-Wow! -[Karla] Oh, my sweet angel.
Two of you look like you've been partying all night.
I'm so tired, I hear colors.
Sort yourself out. The YBAB events are today, and you have to impress.
Shoot. Denise and the entourage.
I need to check-in.
Relax, Denise is on it.
-They're probably prepping to paraglide. -[Jaci sighs]
But everyone wants to know where you are.
Hopefully kicking Joubert's butt soon.
Denise, hey! How are you?
Hold on, I'm walking out.
Oh! Excuse me. [pants]
‎[door opens]
‎[water gurgling]
-[Jaci vomiting] -[Hertjie] Hey.
-[Hertjie] Are you okay? -[Jaci] Mmm.
-It's probably just bad room service. -Oh.
‎-[gags] ‎-[gags, vomiting]
Sorry.
I'm a sympathy vomiter.
-[vomiting] -Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
‎-[coughing then sighs] ‎-[sniffing]
Wait a minute.
[sniffs] Popcorn,
‎-[sniffs] ‎-[sighs]
candy floss,
‎[sniffs]
touch of strawberries!
You smell like Karla!
-What? -When she was pregnant.
Hertjie.
‎-[birds chirping] ‎-[whistful music plays]
Hertjie, you can't tell anyone, promise?
Especially not Karla, because she'll tell JP, and I haven't told him anything yet,
and then he'll divorce me.
And then I'll be a single parent,
I'll have to grow a beard for their bring your dad-to-school day, and
Karla will be furious if she finds out you knew before her.
Promise me?
Jaci,
you know he's my best friend, and
I'm as bad at lying as Eskom is at generating electricity.
I'm begging you. [sighs]
[Hertjie sighs] Why don't you just be honest?
I… I have tried. I will. I'm going to.
I'll obviously have to, but…
I've only just found out myself and I'm just waiting for the right moment.
I'm so happy that you got knocked up!
‎-[grunts excitedly] ‎-[sighs]
‎[sighs]
Promise me?
‎[Hertjie sighs]
‎[birds continue chirping]
Okay.
But you know secrets between couples lead to
uncomfortable nights on the couch, right?
‎[both chuckle]
‎[both gagging, vomiting]
Thank you, Hannes. I owe you a round at Leopard.
What time is it? Birdie time!
Yes!
[yells] Chadrie!
Shh!
The kids are asleep.
I've just gotten off the phone with the CEO of Blue Peach Media.
-Mm-hm? -A while ago, he was with Jaci at a pitch.
He says she was definitely not preggos.
Maybe she just carried small.
No ways.
If she ate a pea, she'd have a bump.
Mm-hm.
Oh! I've got it.
[sighs] Maybe Jaci adopted a baby.
Right.
-Hmm? -No.
Go and see what you can find out at the events today.
Either way,
we're going to nail them.
‎[both teasing excitedly]
‎[indistinct chatter]
‎-[cheery music plays] ‎-Come on, come on.
‎-Nice, my turn. ‎-Take a break.
How are you guys? It's such a beautiful day here at YBAB.
Oh, my goodness.
Look how much fun everyone's having. [chuckles]
I have a beauty hack to share with all of you.
So the YBAB booty paste isn't just for babies.
I use it on my pimples. It literally gets rid of pimples overnight.
And then the nipple cream is amazing for dark circles under your eyes.
So, try it out. Thank me later.
And that's it. Cheers to an amazing YBAB weekend.
‎[both] Ew!
Oh, hi, guys. Hmm.
-Do you want some? -[both] Mm-mm.
I can't decide whether it is one, 60%,
‎or two, 70% dark chocolate, ‎but it's definitely a number two.
-[snickers] -You ladies want to join?
-No! -Uh, no, thanks, Tawnie.
Why do they call her tannie if she looks so young?
Marietjie, your favorite sport is about to start.
Oh, that's great!
[scoffs] Meraaikey!
That's so Marietjie.
Marietjie.
-Yes. -I get it.
[woman 4] Okay, partners!
Best you start warming up and studying the
"Get the pregnant one to the hospital on time" track.
‎-[engine revving sound plays] ‎-[lively music plays]
Remember the rules, if your pregnant watermelon breaks, it's game over.
‎[scoffing]
‎[indistinct chatter]
-Listen, -Huh?
the game plan is simple.
One of us must win, and the other must make sure that Joubert doesn't.
Rather you than me.
I have the heart of a champion, but the legs of a spectator.
What? How so?
I think it's important that you do this one on your own.
-Why? -Oh, you know.
Jaci could pop at any time.
Pop?
[sighs] You know,
pop, as in burst.
Her appendix could burst at any time.
It's like an addendum to the gut,
no one knows what it is.
Sometimes I wonder the same thing about you.
If you don't stop talking nonsense!
Get it together.
[Marietjie] I actually came up with the idea way back
when we had to race through the corn fields with a tractor,
on the way to the hospital when I was in labor with my third child.
Yes.
Popping out babies can be an interesting experience.
Mine were all caesareans. No stories, only scars.
And you, Jaci?
Ah…
I just adopted the view that the stork delivers babies!
So you adopted then?
[Karla] No! [laughs dryly]
She means she gave birth naturally.
Yes, yes. Very naturally [sighs]
In a dam.
Bath.
And when my water bent… broke!
When my water broke, then…
I just seriously struggled to breathe properly and I…
I urgently had to…
visit the bathroom?
But then,
I just pushed him right out.
Him being JP, because he was in my way.
And then--
[Karla] You were what, uh, in labor for 23 hours?
Twenty-three hours!
No wonder the poor child has such a long head.
He does not have a long head!
I gave birth in a cop car.
[Chadrie] Oh, you guys,
oh, it was so beautiful [sighs]
My hospital bag was ready, and when my water broke,
Joubie-Boebie loaded it into the car and rushed to the hospital.
But unfortunately, he left me at home.
And then?
I waited outside the house on the pavement.
And the police van?
Luckily, my neighbor's house was broken into that day.
So I got a free ride with the police.
They even put the sirens on for me.
In the end, I just sneezed
and… [clicks tongue] Chardonnay shot right out.
[Marietjie] Really?
Well with my kids, it was like, in like a banana, out like a pineapple.
-[woman 4] Okay, everybody. On your marks… -[laughing]
-The boys are ready. Come! [laughs] -Nice.
…Get set, and go!
-Hey! -Go, Joubie-Boubie, go!
‎-[indistinct chatter] ‎-[lively music playing]
‎[voice echoing in slow motion] No!
‎Go!
‎-[water splashing] ‎-[Jaci] JP!
‎-[Jaci] Come on, JP, you've got this. ‎-[women cheering]
‎-[Marietjie laughing] ‎-What the hell, bro?
‎[both grunting]
‎[cheering continues]
‎-Joubie! Joubie! ‎-Come on!
They called you the Jackal because
you're so used to leftovers!
‎Oh, really?
JP! Hey, JP!
‎[indistinct chatters]
‎[lively music playing]
‎[cheering]
What do you mean… I actually won the event!
[Hertjie] Karla!
Come take a picture for Denise!
-She won't believe it! -[Karla laughing]
-[cheers] -I'll hang it up in my office!
-Yaay! [laughing] -It's a boy!
-[laughing] -What happened there, Joubie?
Who's Denise?
‎[lively music fades out]
My little pom-pom nose, it's all very easy.
Call this Denise woman,
tell her you work for YBAB and you need information on Jaci and JP's little one.
-But she'll recognize my voice. -[scoffs]
I don't think so, it's been years. Oh!
You should use an American accent.
-Oh! Yes. -You know? Like we practiced.
[in American accent] Like the Real Housewives of New York.
-[in American accent] New York. -New York, yeah.
-New York, yeah.
-[normal accent] Okay. -[nornal accent] Alright.
-I can do that. I think. Okay. -Mm. Yes.
[in American accent] New York.
Denise, hello?
Hello!
Um, my name is Cha…
three and I'm calling from YBAB.
I can't get hold of Mr. and Mrs. Basson,
and I need to whip up some numbers for the rest of the weekend.
Are they staying an extra night with their baby?
Baby? What baby?
The… the…
baby that Mrs. Basson
was in labor with for 23 hours in the dam.
You know, the…
Ah, man. The baby that the stork didn't bring, you know, man.
Uh, I think it's best if you speak to the hotel desk.
I don't feel comfortable giving out their personal information.
[normal accent] My goodness, she's so rude.
‎[both scoff]
Personal information? They're babies. We don't want their ID numbers.
Sorry, Joubie, I tried my best.
Hmm, it's fine.
[sighs] They'll slip up sooner or later.
And I'll be ready it.
‎-[birds chirping] ‎-[dramatic music playing]
‎-[babies laughing] ‎-[indistinct chatter]
Well done, moms and dads.
That's our MessY-hub wrapped up for the day!
-[exclaims] Look, spaghetti rain! -[babies laughing]
-Aw, you guys are such naturals. -[Jaci chuckles]
[Marietjie] Taste this. It's my own concoction for the South African market.
-Oh! -It's sausage flavor.
-Oh, saus-- -Okay.
-Wow. -Oopsie.
‎-Mmm. ‎-How is it?
-Mm. This isn't really… -It's nice. It… it's uh, interesting
It's not something that you taste every day.
-No. Enjoy. -Mm. Mm!
-Mmm… That's… [gags] -[gags]
terrible. It tastes like whale snot.
-Do you want this? -My brainiac,
Hm?
you're so good with the posts
-for JDW's Insta. -Oh, yeah, hmm.
How about you get all the babies together,
take a picture,
-and then tag the agency. -Yes. Yes!
It's almost like having all your ducks in a row.
Alright.
[Chadrie] Okay,
‎-let's go and take a picture. ‎-[baby cooing]
I love that! Yes, let's bring all the babies,
we'll put them together in a row.
‎-[Jaci] Ah, yes, come with me. ‎-[woman 4] There we go.
-[woman 4] Wow. -[Jaci] Oh, there you go.
[woman 4] Instagram ready.
Please, um, can you keep an eye on Henry?
[JP] Yep. I'm just sending Denise a message.
[woman 4] Proudly South African rainbow babies.
The team in America's going to love this.
Great idea, Chadrie and Joubert.
Denise, hey. Don't forget that they love
-Kurt Darren's music and biltong. -[Chadrie laughing]
So make sure there's a lot of that.
-Joubie-Boubie is going to L-O-V-E this. -[clears throat]
-[exclaims] -Do you mind sending those to me as well?
[Chadrie] Not at all. I'll tag Mojo in the post as well.
[Jaci] Really? That'll be amazing.
Sure thing. Let me take a photo of you and Henry, and I'll post that too.
Oh, um, uh, we are not crazy about posting pictures of Henry on social media.
I see.
Chabert and Joudrie only got their accounts when they turned four.
Why don't I take a picture of you anyway, and I'll post it?
No. You know what, I um…
Oh! Oh! Shoot. Hmm.
Oh. Smells like he's left an extra special present for me and JP.
-Mm-hm. That's, uh… -Yes.
-JP. JP! -Uh, Denise,
a try is actually worth five points. I know it's confusing.
You're coming with, I'm not dealing with this bomb alone.
Not another bomb.
‎Eh, no.
What's up? What's up?
Okay guys, deal time.
If you do a good job babysitting, you'll get extra screen time
and your mom won't know… [grunts]
that you're not doing your binary number systems.
Mommy will find out.
She always knows when we're lying.
Well uh, then just lie better, like other teenagers do.
Okay, bye.
‎[door opens and closes]
[Jaci] Okay! [sighs]
Oh, hell.
What? Don't tell me it's another spine-crawler.
It's much, much worse.
How can it be worse than a spine craw--
‎[muffled yelp]
Can it fall off like an umbilical cord?
[tuts] Henry is a girl.
Henry's not a girl, this isn't Henry.
‎[both exclaim]
‎[comical music playing]
[sighs] There you go.
Here you are, sweetheart!
Where were you?
I've looked here, huh?
Where have you been playing around?
JP, where's Henry?
He must be here somewhere, he can't walk yet.
As far as I know.
‎[baby cries]
[both] Henry?!
-[JP] Henry? -[Jaci] Hey, Henry? Henry!
I don't see him. He's gone like an earring.
Henry!
Oh! Rookie mistake.
Maybe Karla took him for feeding.
‎-[breast pump whooshing] ‎-[yawns]
I just can't believe this is the reason why I got up from my afternoon nap.
-[yawns] It's fine, -[groans]
my reason is usually my bladder.
‎[yawns]
Hi, uh,
quick and important question, is Henry maybe with you?
What?
No. Why would he be with us?
Uh, we just thought that you missed him so much--
Where's my baby?
Not here?
[both] No!
-Okay. See you guys later. -Okay. Sorry to bother you.
No! Wait!
Where's my baby?
Uh, well…
-You see… -Well, we might've…
Semi accidentally…
-Sort of… Somewhere. -Lost him.
-Yeah. -[both] What?!
He's a baby, he's not a bunch of car keys!
-Um… um… -Um… uh… um…
-His baby monitor! Okay. -Yes, let's try it.
‎-[clears throat] ‎-[signal distorting]
Hotel security! Now!
-Move! -Get out of the way, man!
‎[Jaci grunts]
‎[baby crying]
Uh! Excuse me!
Oh, sorry, we're looking for a baby.
Well, this is my baby!
Freak show!
You couldn't even look after our fake baby for a few seconds.
[both] Henry is not fake!
He's just not your baby.
We wouldn't have needed a fake baby if--
Yes JP, but you're the one who just took him!
So that we could be fake parents.
If I hear the word fake one more time, I'll attack you like a drunk dentist!
[Hertjie] Go back, retrace your steps!
Let's go to the pool.
I'll never allow my kids out of my body again.
-Wonderdal. -Wonderdal.
-Have you seen him? -It looks like the pool's empty.
-I don't know. -Hey, YBAB squad. Do we have a gem
-for you-- -Hi. Sorry, I need this. Thank you.
Your attention, please. We're looking for my-- our friends',
JP and Jaci's baby boy, Henry.
Yes, he's the size of a small bag of potatoes.
He was last seen in a YBAB baby gro. And he does not have a long head.
How do you lose a baby?
[Joubert] That's, uh… terrible.
I mean, how could you trust someone with
anything if they can't even look after their baby?
[Chadrie] Oh! Have you guys checked Lost and Found yet?
You know, Chadrie, [sighs]
uh, we… we were just on our way there.
I'll look around the gardens.
There are so many open water sources out there, you never know.
-Accidents happen so quickly. -Yes,
-that's true. -[Karla] Come.
-[Hertjie] Okay, um… Reception. -I'll do it. Okay. Okay,
don't worry, everybody. Everything's going to be fine.
What are we going to do? This is the last place he was with us.
While you were so busy playing Instagram-Instagram
with Chadrie, that you forgot to look after him.
Me?
I was working.
You were the one playing with your phone the whole time.
No, I wasn't, I was checking in with Denise
on the other contract that could be paying FOMO--
[inhales] Mojo's bills next month.
‎[comical music plays]
I'm going back to the hotel.
Security might know something [sighs]
Someone could've taken the wrong baby from the MessY-hub.
‎[JP scoffs]
-It happens. -Only if it's not your own baby, Jaci.
‎[indistinct chatters]
-[Jaci] Hey. -[Karla] We didn't find him [sighs]
-Karla, I'm incredibly-- -[sighs]
This is not a good time to talk to me.
-I know you must be angry-- -[Karla breathes heavily]
No! You have no idea because you're not a mother!
‎[whimpers]
[Joubert] I found him!
-I have the baby! -[Karla exclaims]
-I have the baby! -[Karla] My baby! My… my baby!
-[Joubert] That is the man! I've got him! -[crowd clapping]
Woo! I found the baby! I, found the baby!
[Karla] My baby! I can't believe you found my baby!
My sweet little poppet!
‎[Karla and Jaci sigh]
-Thank you, thank you, thank you. -Her baby?
I thought he's their baby?
And I thought the stork's delivered the baby?
I don't understand a word, but
this is like watching a Spanish telenovela.
[Joubert] Excuse me. Can… [sighs]
Ladies and gentlemen, you're all very welcome.
Look, as a father of three children, I can only imagine the trauma--
Daddy, you said if we looked after the baby we could have more screen time.
And you haven't given us any data yet.
Why don't you just go back to the hotel room?
-Trauma is-- -Daddy, a promise is a promise.
Come on, we took such good care of the baby while you were away.
Joubie-Boubie,
did you really leave the baby with the children?
-Alone? -Uh…
-You'd better… -Mommy
says if you lie, your tongue is going to slide down your throat.
Joubert de Waal, what did you do?
-I just-- I-- -You better tell me.
-But-- -Tell me right now!
-Chadrie-- -[Chadrie] Think carefully.
-Who's the clean little boy? -[Joubert] But I… I didn't do anything.
They're the ones who lied in the first place.
[Chadrie] What?
[Joubert] And besides, Henry is fine, he's safe and sound,
so I'm struggling to understand what the problem is.
-Are you mad? Have you lost your mind? -Have you lost your mind?
I can't believe you'll do something like this!
‎Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! ‎There are children here.
Okay, everyone, calm down.
Come stand here with me.
Coincidentally, the baby was in my hotel room all along.
‎[gasps]
Oh my goodness!
You piece of cockroach poo!
‎[Joubert moaning, yells]
Chadrie, can I have a wet wipe, please?
[Chadrie] No way, Jose!
The four of us need to talk, now!
‎-[gags] Ooh! ‎-[gags]
Chadrie! Chadrie, what are you doing? Help me!
By the way, you have something small stuck inbetween your teeth, Jou-blertsie.
You are the two most irresponsible people in the entire world.
-Who loses their best friend's baby? -[Hertjie] Oh, oh, I know who. They do.
Listen.
Uh-uh! There's nothing that you two can say to make this better.
In nine months, you two can use your own baby for pitches.
Or seven months, or years, or whenever you too decide to have a baby of your own!
[Karla scoffs] You two are fired as friends!
We're going to pack Henry's things, get
our bags, and then we're going straight home.
You two will have to figure out how to impress Meraaikie all by yourselves.
-Come! -Yes!
But after the YBAB eat as much as you want rib night, then we're leaving!
-Now, Herklaas! -Oh.
Stupid! [tuts]
‎[whistful music plays]
The one thing we're good at is our jobs, and now we've messed that up too.
Joubert is going to get the contract and…
you'll have to go to Dubai.
The contract?
Is that your only worry? It's always just work.
Really? You want to go there?
You sleep in your office more than you do at home, Jaci.
Well maybe I prefer my desk to a man who will
always put his businesses before his family!
All I ever wanted was for us to be a family.
-Yes, a work family. -No, a real family.
Us?
We can't even look after a fake baby.
What gave us the idea that we would be able to do this for real?
You're right.
You're right. Obviously we can't deal with fake or office children.
So, what are you trying to say?
You don't want children?
Or just not with me?
Any baby would be better off without us, Jaci.
Without the two of us, or without you?
‎[indistinct chatter]
‎[sad music playing]
I'm going to help Denise with the contract.
Fine then, just go!
Have fun playing with your rugby balls in the desert!
We don't need you anyway!
Lesson 78, son.
A lie is like a blanket,
if you cover your head, your feet stick out.
‎[Karla grunts]
I can't believe we're packing again.
‎[toy squeaks]
-Ridiculous. -Nonsense.
‎[sad upbeat music plays]
Marietjie.
Why are you sitting here all alone?
[Marietjie] Oh well, because the Americans can't barbecue to save their lives.
Barbecue-smarbecue. [laughs]
Can I twist your arm?
There's a lot of sausage here.
-I'm not the best company at the moment. -Just sit down.
It's my birthday and I really have nobody else to share it with.
Oh, um… Congrats.
Didn't your family come with you to South Africa?
[scoffs] Never.
We drifted apart many years ago.
I was obsessed with work.
I lost track of my husband and children,
now it's too late.
If we ever end up like this, I'm divorcing you.
-I'm sure they don't feel that way. -[Marietjie scoffs]
They don't even speak to each other, never mind me.
-I didn't realize that-- -What?
That "America's favorite granny" hasn't met any of her grandchildren yet?
‎-[soft music plays] ‎-[birds chirping]
You're not the only one that lies for their work.
[sighs] JP and I really messed up.
We shouldn't have lied about Henry.
We took advantage of our friends and their baby.
But, come to think of it, it was actually
Karla and Hertjie's idea, so they're also a bit guilty.
But we should've known better.
The irony is…
we didn't even have to lie about anything.
I found out a few days ago that…
I'm definitely, without a doubt… pregnant.
And you are actually the first person that I'm telling this to.
Well, technically, you're the second.
Hertjie literally sniffed it out of me.
You didn't say anything, you pig-breath!
-[splutters] -[yelps excitedly]
Congratulations.
Have you decided what to do?
[sighs] I have no idea.
Well, from what I've seen between you and JP, you make an awesome team.
He doesn't think so.
Well, that's because he doesn't know about the third player in your team.
-You think so? -Of course.
People can change.
You did.
‎[birds continue chirping]
And what if I told you that
the YBAB contract is yours, how would you feel?
Kind of empty.
Because?
It's not that important anymore.
So what is important?
Take it from an old lady that knows.
Don't make the same mistakes as me.
Hey, what you waiting for?
Thank you.
Thanks for everything.
And…
enjoy your barbecue.
Oh, and enjoy your birthday! [chuckles]
Cheers!
‎[joyful music playing]
I don't see her anywhere.
[Chadrie] Hey, you guys! I feel so super, duper,
pooper guilty about Joubert.
He's a baby thief.
-Hey! We've been looking for you. -[gasps excitedly]
I feel like an idiot, and you don't need to forgive me but--
But you need to find JP as soon as possible to tell him the good news!
-How? -We heard everything.
‎-[gasps] ‎-[Karla giggles]
You're going to be a mommy!
‎[both chuckle]
-What? -[Karla] I'm so excited!
And you're finally going to get fat!
-Through thick and thin for real-sies. -[Chadrie] What?
-Yes! -Aw!
-Yes! -Finally! Yes!
‎[all excited and cheering]
Come on guys, we need to go before JP signs that crazy donkey contract.
Oh, no, wait. It's Henry's nap time, you guys can go.
No, leave him with me. It's also time for Chardonnay's nap, so.
[Chadrie] Um… I, uh…
‎[Karla spluttering] Oof… um… I… uh…
Okay. Ugh. I can't believe I'm doing this.
Come on, we need to go.
[clears throat] Daddy, today you drive like a taxi.
Bye, guys!
‎-[lively music playing] ‎-[engine roaring]
[man 3] Mr. Basson, afternoon.
Hi.
I'm going to need your cellphone, please.
-Standard security protocol. -Okay.
-After you, sir.
-JP's not answering his phone. -Almost there.
Not with the way you're driving.
The car's shadow is two steps ahead of you.
Ew! Is your car part of a science project or something?
-Move it, Stertjie! -Don't shout at me!
-[man 4] JP, my friend. Welcome. -There you are.
I'm glad you could make it to the formalities, huh?
I thought I'd squeeze in a last-second drop kick.
-Oh. [laughing] -[chuckles, yelps]
-Rolex! -[Rolex barking]
-Stand down, boy. -[Rolex growling]
-Rolex? -Yeah.
He's my watchdog.
‎-Ah. ‎-[laughs]
Come, let me first show you around.
Denise and our rugby friends are waiting in the entertain--
Rolex! Rolex! Entertainment area.
-Rolex! -[Rolex barking]
-Come on, boy. Go walking, walking. -[Rolex growling]
Go play with your friends. Go, baby.
I love my Rolex.
‎[combat music plays]
Here's his holiday mansion.
[Karla] Whatever this guy does it must pay well.
[Karla gasps] Look at that.
Okay, uh, stop over here. I'm… I'm going in.
-Um, find parking. -Okay.
Okay, go!
I want one full perimeter patrol,
eyes open, fingers on the triggers.
Go!
‎[engine roaring]
Hi, I'm Jaci Basson,
from Mojo and Amalgamated Media.
My team is waiting inside for me.
Sorry.
Your name isn't on the VIP list.
Oh, my name doesn't really need to be on a list
if my company is about to sign a multi-million dollar deal with your boss.
No name, no access.
-[dramatic drum beat plays] -Look,
I'd probably do the same thing if I was in your position.
[sighs] You look like a…
stick to the rules kind of guy.
Without a doubt.
[inhales] So, um…
[sighs] The love of my life is inside signing a contract and
it can ruin our-- well, a lot of people's lives.
And I really need to find him, stop him,
and tell him he's going to be a dad.
So, I'm begging you, could you please do me a favour and turn a blind eye, huh?
Ma'am, there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
Oh, please, I'm begging you.
I'll even name my unborn baby after you. What's your name?
Manie Abdul Solomon Zahir Jean
Komotie.
Double barrel.
That's not a name, that's a short story.
Access denied.
‎-A… ‎-Madam!
-Okay, okay. -[dramatic music playing]
[Jaci] Jeez.
‎-This is a very nice drink. ‎-Yes.
‎-Professional. ‎-Thank you.
‎-[Denise laughs] Yes. Excuse me. ‎-[man 5] You can't be too careful.
‎[indistinct chatter]
[Denise] Why aren't you at the YBAB pitch?
-[scoffs] Don't even ask. -JP, what's going on?
I'm just trying to make sure that everyone at Mojo can still
-get a salary on Monday, yeah. -What?
-Bismark, Jannie. -[Bismark] JP.
-Hey. -It is so good to see you.
-[Jannie] Yes. I -Same here.
-can't believe it's finally happening. -Yes, all thanks to you guys.
‎-[indistinct chatter] ‎-[door closes]
The security doesn't want to let me in.
-Does he know who you are? -[mimicking] My name isn't on the list.
Um…
[splutters] I'll try and distract him in the meantime.
-See if you can find another way in. -How? Did you see all the security?
Um… Well, Hertjie is basically a ladder.
Climb him like one.
Uh, no, thank you.
-She looks kind of heavy. -[gasps]
Hey,
through thick and thin. Hmm?
Through thick and thin [sighs]
Mwah. Okay.
‎[Karla exclaims excitedly]
‎[water gurgling]
[clears throat] Ahoy!
[in Russian accent] Dasvidaniya.
Help! Help! I'm… lost.
-I… Hi! -Hi.
I'm Karla. Herze…
Govinia from Russia.
-Okay. -Mmm!
Africa! Africa! Beautiful country, but very hot.
-Very hot. -[Manie] Okay, okay. Are you okay?
No, no, no. Not okay.
I need water.
-Okay. -All this heat makes me very lost.
-Okay, I'll get someone to bring you some. -[Jaci gasps loudly]
‎[scoffs]
Vodka! Water or vodka!
-To drink. I feel faint. Oh, this heat. -Wait, wait, wait!
I'm going to radio someone down there to bring you water.
No, no. Now, I faint.
[Manie] Okay, okay, stay with me!
Stay with me, stay with me! Are you okay?
[Karla] Oh, I see things.
Hallucinate.
Uh, don't, don't…
Heat.
Okay.
Oh! You…
-Are you my brother? [sighs] -Uh-uh.
My father is from Rustenburg, not Russia.
‎[Rolex growling menacingly]
‎[both exhale with relief]
Hello, who's a good boy?
‎-[barks loudly] ‎-[both startle]
Okay.
-You run, I'll keep him busy. -Okay.
Uh-uh…
[Hertjie pants fearfully] Run!
Well, this is the result of a lot of people's hard work.
Today is my dream come true.
‎[comical music playing]
[whispering] JP.
JP.
Signing this contract in the presence of genuine rugby legends.
Few more lines, then it's your turn.
‎[panting]
‎[gasps]
‎[barking]
[Hertjie] You win, I underestimated you. Okay. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Hey, look here, look here! Look. You know you want it.
Come on, come on.
‎[Rolex growls]
Yes!
Soon we'll be celebrating my first league match in Dubai.
-Yes. -Indeed.
-[laughing] -Congratulations.
-Thanks. -I can't wait.
I can't wait for the first match.
-Big things, big things. -[Jannie] Yeah.
[Bismark] It's going to be good.
-JP! -I'm so excited.
JP!
‎[inaudible]
Please, don't sign the contract.
I--
Gun! Whoa, whoa, whoa! No,
no, no, no! There's no gun!
That's my wife! There's no gun. There's no--
-It's… just lipstick. [sighs] -Lipstick. Look here. Look.
BABY
A bab?
No, man, a baby.
‎[inaudible]
‎-[soft music playing] ‎-[birds chirping]
‎[inaudible]
Are we having…
‎[inaudible]
-We're having a baby! -Yes we are!
‎[both cheer]
-We're having a baby! -[yelps]
Jaci! Jaci!
Come!
‎-[panting] ‎-[Hertjie screams]
-Jaci! -Hey!
Hey! What are you doing?
Oh, I… I'm just hanging around. Find some help, Hertjie!
-[Hertjie] Okay! -[panting]
-Hertjie! -JP! We have to help her!
-[splutters] She's… -I know. Just hold on.
Jaci, just hold on, we're going to make a plan!
-I called for a ladder. -A ladder! Good idea!
No! Jan, remember that line out routine?
-Stripe mouse. -Stripe mouse.
-What? Okay.
-Stripe mouse! -Woah, woah woah,
-what is a stripe mouse? -Just jump!
Okay. Woah!
Almost there.
‎-[grunts] ‎-[Jaci panting]
Jaci!
-Hold on, I'm almost there. -[panting]
[JP] Okay, Jaci [grunts]
I'm coming.
-Okay, it's fine. I just-- Oh. -[glass cracking]
-It's just cracked. Okay, I'm here. -[panting]
-I'm here. -Okay.
-I've got you. It's fine. You can let go. -Okay.
-[JP] That's it. -[Jaci] Okay.
[JP] That's it.
-[both grunting] -[JP] That's it.
Please, don't sign the contract.
‎[breathing heavily]
I already did.
How could you choose Dubai over us?
Jaci, I… I'm not going.
Denise is going to Dubai in my place.
[splutters] What?
-Denise? -Yeah.
[sighs with relief] Denise!
‎[JP laughs]
-[Jaci] Denise! Ooh. -[JP] Yeah [chuckles]
I'm sorry. I'm…
I'm really, really sorry. I…
I'm just so hormonal and…
I wanted to tell you earlier, but there was
babies, and nappies, and spaghetti, and champagne, and…
and I'm just so nauseous all the time,
-not just in the morning. -Hey
-That's a nasty lie. -Hey, Jaci. Jaci.
We're having a baby.
And you're okay with that?
Okay with that? Um…
I mean, you've chosen a very spectacular way of telling me about it, but…
[sighs] Of course, I'm okay with it.
‎[chuckles softly]
Family first?
I'll start looking for a roof rack for the McLaren.
[man 6] Sorry, excuse me. Sorry!
I've got a semi-conscious Russian lady at the gate.
She wants to know if her pregnant friend is okay.
[Jaci] She's okay!
-[JP] Oh, yeah. She's more than okay. -[Jaci] She's okay.
She's perfect!
My crazy, beautiful, pregnant wife…
is perfect.
-And we're going to have a baby! -[crowd cheering]
-[Hertjie cheering] Yeah! -Yes!
You owe me a plush toy, by the way.
Yes!
We're going to have a baby.
‎[lively music playing]
ONE YEAR LATER…
[Hermien] Canonball!
‎-[water splashing] ‎-[JP laughing]
Hey, Herklaas,
it's time to barbecue.
Yes, Daddy-O.
Speaking of daddies,
who would've thought that while your sperm was swimming in circles,
they were actually training for the jackpot, huh?
-Huh? -On that note, here's my rugby team.
-[Jaci] Where's Daddy? Here's -Hello, my little cutie pies.
-Daddy-O! -Look who's here. Look who's here.
-[JP] One, two, three ruby players. -[Jaci] Hi, little loves, say hi.
-[JP] Come, come, come. -[Jaci] Here's Daddy.
‎-[JP babbling excitedly] ‎-[Jaci chuckles]
‎[lively music playing]
FOR JAMES
‎[lively music fades out]
‎[soft rock music plays]
‎[soft rock music fades out]
‎Subtitle translation by: Anu Akiyode