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NETFLIX BIED AAN
-Thirty seconds. -Hmm.
-Your coffee taste just as good as mine -Hmm. Hm.
Twenty seconds.
-Ten. Nine. Eight. -Let's smash this day.
-Three. Two. One. -Like a mielie.
Like a mielie.
-I'm here. I'm here. Chicken man. -Herman, your tie. Ahh.
-Chicken Man. -Okaaay Chicken man. Get
down, give me your tie.
Hermin, do you have your school project?
This is my house…built out of soler panels.
Wow. It looks amazing. Herman, where's your's?
-Here it is. -Oh, and what exactly is it?
Uhmm.
-It's his self-portrait. -Or a very creative expression of your
small intestine. Well done, I'm proud of you.
Watch out for Chicken man.
Whoah OOOooo. Ah-ha, what do we have here?
A cat in the bag.
Well, you are the cutest idiom ever.
-Cutest Idiot ever. -Hey… Herman. All that you
-need now…is your little wishkers. -Herman!
Whoa, not the permanent marker please. Let me go get my make-up bag.
Ohh. I'm Sorry.
Hey! Whose turn was it to take Peet and Panarie back to their coop?
-Hermien. It was your turn. -No, come on. Shoo shoo shoo. Hey.
-Come on. -Don't blame me for YOUR mistake.
-No, it was your turn. -Dude!
-Ohh. O. Ahh. -Oh please.
Not in front of Peet and Panarie. Technically, this is murder.
How long have you been watching?
Long enough to know what the coffee in the house taste like. It's "H".
Hendrik. More like ouch if you're late for school.
Panarie says howzit.
-Peet says kiss-it. -Whoa.
Lock him up in a cage!
-Cluck, cluck, cluk, bwak, bwak, bwak, fu… -Cluck, cluck, cluk, bwak, bwak, bwak, fu…
Don't you even think…about it. Put the chicken down. Okay guys that's enough.
Okay. Calm down. Just calm down.
Ahhh. Nothings smells as good as chaos in the morning.
Hey. Hendrik. Stop it, you're not helping at all.
-Ah. -Oooh.
All of it was under control like ten seconds ago.
-Look, we trained them so well. -Ahh.
Hmm? You think so?
-Hendrik. -Uh, you two, not the
-children. Ahh. Hello good morning. -Mom and dad are home!
Hello. My lovey. Look, it's my cat. Look it's my cat.
Hey. Stafieeeee. Hello.
Hello my boy. Hello my bunny.
-Hurry, hurry, hurry. -What did the doctor say?
Will little henry be okay.
Luckily…he only had a little bit of wind. he just needed to let out a big old fart
and he'll be better.
Yeah. He made quite a fuss about it. Like when she gave birth to him.
When you pop one out, then we can talk.
Okay, you silly sausages, your godparents have to go. Our office children
-await. -Are you sure you don't want
me to come and lend a hand.
Under no circumstances. Denise and I have it under control.
Remember…
I'm the control freak. You're the baby freak. Through thick and thin.
Hm-hmmm. Thick and thin.
Bye you little rascals.
Bye-bye guys. love you. Hertjie. I'm waiting outside.
-Love you. Bye. -Oh. I'll get my suit and case.
-Bye Basson's. -Bye uncle, bye aunt.
Bye uncle, bye aunt.
-I… love them. -Hmmm.
Love them, but I love it when we give them back.
How does Hertjie and Karla survive this every morning?
I'd rather argue‚ with a boardroom full of old men, than a five year old whose
-sandwich isn't cut into circles. -Yeah, you're right.
Raising kids isn't that different than what we do everyday at work.
Hertjie!
I'm just having a wee!
The only difference is when my clients are difficult, I take their yachts away.
Ironically enough, we have all the skills needed to be amazing parents.
Well… it's not too late.
I can't believe the 'Jackal' said that.
The same guy that made me promise at the alter that if he ever chose babies over
business, I could get him certified.
One can only do so many business deals. And that was…a long time ago.
Precisely. We're getting old. More mature.
And we've tried everything JP. Mojo and Amalgemated media are our family.
How many times have we been through this?
And where are we going to find time in our schedules to take care of a little baby?
You…have dinner on an airplane more than you do at home.
And I…babysit neurotic clients 247.
It's not so bad, we can change things. I…can change things.
You mean selling your 27 companies or trading
your McLaren for a station wagon?
Uh, I can make a plan. I can…put a roof rack on the McLaren.
Okay, you have a point. We're too busy.
But just for the record…you'd be the hottest mom at the parent-teacher meeting.
-Hmm. -Hmm.
Someone wrapped my briefcase in toilet paper!
Yep. Definitely the right decision… NOT to have children.
Definitly.
See you at the office.
Ah-ah. you chancer.
-Aghh. -Yes. Ah. Uhhh, loser.
So, have you and Jaci talked the whole Dubai thing?
Uhmm. We have emailed each other about it.
Oh. Your phones have a fantastic marriage.
And it's…not a 'thing' yet.
Establishing a rugby league in the Emirates doesn't happen overnight.
We're doing our due diligence. So is the investor and his people.
And where does your wife…fit into this due diligence?
Jaci isn't… crazy about the idea of me spending
six months a year in Dubai.
Neither am I.
Look…if Jaci gets the baby product… pitch or deal after this weekend,
we can technically let the Dubai thing go.
I'm, hedging our bets.
You know they're not going to have any Biltong in Dubai.
Morning partner.
Morning partner. How are things on the creative side?
Outstanding. GreenFuture signed yesterday.
-Hm. -And M.A.D. Consulting was happy with
the budget for their… new… campaign
and everything for the yBaB pitch is coming together nicely.
Great.
-And on the business side? -JP is going to kick
the Dudai guys' butts.
What?
Ha-ha. No, no, no. He's kidding.
We are going to entertain the invester and his entourage this weekend in the Cape.
Tourist vibes, you know. Kirstenbosch…Table Mountain, some
-paragliding, shark cage diving… -Nice.
And the Spur in Sea Point. For some reason, they always insist on it.
And on Saturday night…
We're partying at his holiday mansion. Where two ex…Springboks…
will be making a suprise appearance.
-A surprise for them…or for you? -Ahhhmm.
It's… good for business, Denise. And…
while the entourage is asking for autographs and taking selfies…
he'll accept the deal and we'll officially become the…agency of a
new…rugby league…in the Middle East.
And Jaci and I will be running around this weekend between yBaB…nappies and bum
cream.
I'm hungry.
What? How sure are you doctor?
Is Naas Botha a Springbok? Is the Pope Catholic?
Is Bobby van Jaarsveld the best Bobby?
So… defintely not maybe just perhaps, eh…early menopause?
Defintely perhaps mmmaybe for a fact an early pregnancy.
But…But that's impossible.
A-All seven of my previous doctors said I couldn't get pregnant.
You. You said that I couldn't get pregnant.
That JP's soldiers are swimming in circles and my ovaries are lazy because
my brain's overworked.
Besides…JP and I made peace with the fact that we weren't going to have children.
We're too damn busy for a baby.
What if… What if we get a divorce? Kids can destroy a marriage for sure.
No. No, no, no, no. This is so…
Besides‚ I'm at the pinnacle of my career,
and I'm like‚ one of three companies in Africa that has been asked to pitch for
a multimillion dollar contract.
That's like an entire continent.
-Congrats. Congrats on the pregnancy. -Thank you. We worked so
hard to get this pitch, and…
Uhh…You should to take it easy, né. It's a geriatric pregnancy.
-Geriatric? I may be old, but… -But not cold, clearly not, yeah.
Uhh, It seems to me you're only now starting to warm up.
Ehhh, you know if… if I was you two right now, uhh,
then I'd start thinking about a good and strong baby name.
Ignatius. Now… that's a… great… name.
-And what if it's a girl? -Hmm.
Awww, you caught baby fever from my kids.
Ahh. It's for… Jaci.
Huuuh?
-I don't think it will fir her. -Haaa.
You know… it's not too late for you
to have a mini 'Jackal'.
I can't expect Jaci to… give up her career for this.
Have you discussed it with her yet? Ohhhh. No wait, you probably email each
-other. -It's complicated. Okay… The
swimmers…aren't exactly mini Ryk
Neetlings.
You can have one of our five. Carla won't even notice, in fact, she'll even
-pay you. -Maybe one day.
Hey. One day…becomes yesterday, and then… you have to clean out your
-prostrate. -What?
I'm just saying.
Ah…it's a nappy-pic.
A what?
A nappy pic from Karla. Look. It looks like a map of Africa.
Hertjie…please take your poop-porn and leave.
-Hmmm. Could be Italy aswell. Hm? -Hertjie. Door.
Hello.
Hi.
Hey. This is for you.
What? Wawait, who did you talk to.
It's your invite…to the yBab weekend. It ended up on my desk.
Ohh. The weekend. Of course.
Hey… check this out. This lady is a perfect example
of someone who…moved to America, but STILL took Benoni along with her.
-Look here. Okay. -Hi there… all y'all.
I'm Marietjie Koekemoer.
Founder…and…heart…of yBaB.
America's most trusted…baby products.
Way back…in 1993…I found myself… a South African… country pumpkin…
all on my own-some on a Raaanch in the middle of… big ol' Texas…
raising…FIVE…busy little munchkins.
I had to come up with my own lotions and potions.
So…I started… playing arooound with a bunch
of home grown ingredients…
and before you could say…dirty diaper…
I stared sharing my concoctions with my new American friends…
"Concoction".
And… oh my golly gosh, they just loved it.
And so…yBaB…was…born. Designed for parents…loved by babies.
-Benoni…hmm? -Hm, so then speaking of babies‚ uhm,
I was at the gynae for my checkup this morning…
Did you see the email?
The three agencies through to the final round of the yBaB pitch this weekend
are us…Northern Star…
-and JDW. -and JDW.
JDW? As in… Joubert… de Waal… Advertising JDW?
Hm-hm.
-Who's Joubert de Waal? -JP's…boarding school
roommate from high school.
-Hmm. -Ohhhh. That Joubert?
What do you mean ' that Joubert'.
Joubert was… dux pupil… he was choosen as head boy…
and first team rugby captain instead of JP.
And…he was voted… 'most likely to succeed'.
Okay, Hertjie. Thanks for that history lesson.
-Oh. And he stole JP's first girlfriend. -Herklaas.
I wonder if he still has… that punch-me face.
Yeah, he… Google him quick.
Yeees. Check your Facetagram page.
How are the three of you STILL not on social media?
Well…I'm actually quite proud of it.
Tumi!
Yooour Facebook account, pleaaase. Uhhh, Joubert de Waal.
You guys seriously have to stop doing this. What kind of Ad Agency doesn't have
-their execs on social media? -Actually…Surprisingly…well
and effective. Thank you.
Yeah, we don't have time for Tortilla Wrap Slap challenges and lip-sync videos.
Is this him?
Yep. Mister… Bording school in all his glory.
I though… you and JP were roommates at school?
Only in matric. After Joubert complained that JP tried to kill him in
his sleep with his Culture Award trophy.
For the 100th time, Hertjie, that's not what happened, okay? I was only looking at
the trophy that everyone KNEW should've been mine!
What? No ways. Is that…
What? How could… Joubert de Waal is married to Chadrie.
-Chadrie. -Chadrie. And they've got yBaBs.
-How did Chadrie… end up with him? -I can kind of see it. Joubert has a
sort of aaaa Markus 2.0 vibe going on.
-They look like Rent-A-Family. -They look like a yBaB ad campaign.
Hmm.
She's right. JP…
I think you should rather go play happy family with Jaci at the yBaB pitch.
Take Hertjie and Karla with.
-D-D-Denise. -Denise.
I can keep the investor and his people busy.
With all due respect, Denise…what do you know about rugby?
Definitely more than I know about…nappies…and bum cream.
She's right. Denise tends to break out in hives if any child comes within a 3km
radius of her.
JP, right now we need the Jackal… if we're going to stand a chance against…
JDW and…that thing.
The yBaB contract IS more important than the Dubai deal.
And we need our A-team at Hazendal this weekend, and that's you four.
-Come on. We need to make arrangements. -Ughh.
Uhh, JP… Before you go, uhh…
I can't believe I have to spend the weekend with…
finger biscuits and dirty nappies instead of mmm beer and the 'Boks'.
Finger biscuits aren't… that bad.
They are if the Springboks were on the menu.
Uh-ah.
Jaci. You coming?
Yep. Yeah.
Ag come on, milk-tart of my heart. You loved the pumpkin yesterday.
Okay… okay… choose. Booby…or pumpkin-porridge?
-Come on. You can't catch me. -Okay, okay, okay, neh, uhmmm. Here, here.
Here you go. Hummmm nam nam nam nam nam. Yum.
Just you wait, I'll catch you. -Ughh. Fine. Fine.
Hey, that's cheating, it doesn't count. No you didn't.
-Okay, okay. There you go. -Hey! Where are you?!
Fine then. Run. But you cna't hide from me. I'll catch you in no time.
Come on slow poke. You know I'm faster than you are. Ha-ha, you're too slow.
M-Master Chef Belville decided he prefers condensed milk, instead of baby food and
mommy-milk.
Why are you here so late?
Uhhh. Well…
Something interesting came up today and I'd really like to talk to you about it.
Uhh. As long as it has nothing to do with babies, baby food or where babbies
come from. I… Jaci…
I can't anymore. I feel like a melting ruler.
At least you have the yBaB weekend to look forward to.
Yeaaaah, Tumi called me.
Can't you leave Henry at your mom's as well?
Nope… you know what she's like. If her boobs were detachable she would've lost
them a long time ago.
Last time… she sent Henry home with a "balloon"
which was… in reality, a… giant inflated condom.
Wait. Why does my mom have condoms?
And this?
Oh. Mom guilt.
Every time I think I've done something wronnng…in goes a R20.
Why don't we play dodgeball? I'll go first. You better start running.
So by the time Henry's 16, he can go and see a psychologist of his choice.
Let me go first. Fine, just try and hit me with the ball.
-Classic, Karla. -Uhhh. Sorry, what did
-you want to talk about? -So I…
Hey! Uh. Hey, not near… Oh.
Take this. Oh no, sorry mom. It was an accident. Sorry.
Ha-ha. You almost hit mom, and you say I can't throw. Now I'll get you back.
And Herman. Stop wrapping presents for your buddies in your underpants!
Pfff. uhhh…Sorry, what were you going to tell me?
Sorry mom. Okay.
You missed again. Now I'll get you.
Dang. No you won't. I've got you once and you haven't got me at all.
You know, uhm…Uhh… w-we… we can chat this weekend.
Woah. Ah-ha. No way. You can't use that. Where's mine. I got it, take this.
No wait, it's… like sea sand and candy floss.
I got the high ground. Hey Herman, look over there.
Man‚ your nose is out of control.
Hm. What?! I'll shoot you back. I'll get you!
-Hertjie stop. -Come on, take cover or dad will hit us.
-Take this! -Bye!
-Watch out. Watch out. -Look at what your brothers are doing.
Sorry Jaci, we'll chat later. Bye.
Ugh‚ Thank goodness, I need to go pee.
Again? We already stopped twice on our way here.
You okay?
What did Dr. Tunnel Vision say?
Ughhh. After all these years, it's still not funny.
It's his joke. What did he have to say?
Uhhh… actually… quite a lot… Uhm…
I'm… actually…
Dammit. Goodness. Where's his parents?
Pfft. People who can't look after their children simply should have them. Right?
-It's an, easy equation. -It's not always‚ that easy to
plan when you're gonna have kids.
I think we've maganged well enough so far.
Well, it's easy when we're not going to be in the same country half the year.
Dubai is a back up plan…just…in case this…
yBaB pitch doesn't pull through,
which it obviously will because you're brilliant and…
There's…nothing that JDW has… that Mojo doesn't…have even more of.
Apart from children.
What's up with you?
Nothing. Uhh…I need to go wee quickly.
Alright, son. Now lesson swenty one.
Always read books. Hmm?
A tree smiles whenever you open a book because
it knows there's life after death.
Yes. Yes. Ahh…
Speaking of books. Uhmm. I, uhhh…
Saw the book next your bed about fifty types of gray.
Amazing. I thought there was only one type of grey.
But, you know…
Gray dove. Gray…dogs. Gray clouds. Gray road.
Gray mountains, gray mice, gray birrrds, gray GRAY…
-Do you have my wallet? -Yeah, somewhere. I… Oh. Tsk. Ouch.
Ouuuch! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. Oh my word. Gosh, that hurt.
Ouch. Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Jaci? Oh my word! Ah, I've always wanted to butt, heads with you.
Chadrie!
-Oh wow… -Joubie-boubie. Let me
introduce you. Come look who's here.
Ahhhhh. It's not necessary, my little pompom nose. Poop.
Oh.
We're old friends. This is the guy I told you about the other day who missed
that pass and cost us the Craven Week trophy in our Matric year.
JP? Are you "Ball-drop Basson"?
-Mm-hm. Japes! -Ah.
Hey. Okay. Hmm. I can't, even remember when, I last saw you. Hey.
-Yeah. Who's this? -This is, uhh… She's Jaci. My wife.
Your wife? Gosh. I didn't think I'd ever hear those words from the Jackal's mouth.
Mm-hm.
Yeah?
He used to make out with a lot of girls in high school. Like…
Really? Eww. Behind the pavilion. It was hectic.
Joubert. It's a pleasure. I've heard, so many stories about you.
Funny. I haven't heard anything about you, sweetheart.
Gross. I'll have to go burn my dress.
Hey!
Ah, what? What the…
Is that Chadrie?
Shhh.
Sooooo… You guys are from, MO YO?
-Hmm. Mooojooooooo. Mojooo. -Uhhh, it's… MO JO.
I was wondering who you would send for this weekend. You know, someone who would
-play the "happy family". -Hmm.
Although you, two, don't look like a family.
Oh, uh. And this is our happy family.
-This is, CHAbert. And this is, JOUdrie. -Chabert.
Get it? CHA-DRIE JOU-BERT.
These two are twins. They were born on the same day. A Monday.
Oh, and heree is our little surprise.
Ohh Cutie. You are so beautiful. This, is, CHARdonnay.
Say hello to them.
We're pleased to meet you, good lady and sir. We're eagerly looking forward to
-getting to know both of you better. -We're pleased to meet you, good lady
and sir. We're eagerly looking forward to getting to know both of you better.
Did you hear that? It rhymes.
Okay, go read your dictionaries. And remember,
when I get back I want to know what happened in the story.
Sit on the couch. And no screen time, okay?
That's the future president and U-N ambassador who's sitting over there.
Yaah. Yes.
It's in-tre-sting, that you want to pitch for a BABY brand, without a baby.
Uh huh. -Well, uhm, Mojo recently signed, the "Catilicious" cat food account
and…
We aren't cats.
Yeah, yeah, it's like those, uhm… That intercontin…
Inter-conti-nent-a… Ag, man.
The contract you signed for the nappies for old people and it's not like you wear
-a nappy everyday… -Thanks, Chads. I think they get it.
-Okay. -So, that's the Joubert who
always used to call you "Pizza Face"?
And that's the reason you still don't eat pizza till this day?
-His bite is bigger than his bark. It is! -Huh?
You know, JP, it's kinda tragic that you
of all people, shoots, blanks.
Oh shame, you guys. Shame. It's really just,
babies are the best thing that has ever happened to us.
It's as if little light was turned on in our lives. As if that little light…
Came out of my body. It's, it's like, "Pachow"!
-In your face. -Yeah, I would have never thought that
your empty sack would've landed me a contract right in my pocket.
You know, uhh, JP has, very, healthy, uhm… Ah…
Oh, pears. We say pears. Children. Healthy pears.
Pears. They shouldn't hear it, you know?
Hmm.
So, is your grapevine, a bit dried out then or…
Dry grapevine?
Empty sack? It seems, once a jackass, always a jackass.
A jackass with the right optics to win the yBaB contract.
Okay. Ohh.
Oh, ohhhh. Here you goooo.
A fresh nappy.
And that's the last time I"m changing your baby's nappies this weekend.
YES. The only thing the little one wants now, is his…
Mommy, and, his, daddy.
Do… Do you two ha…
No blanks here, old buddy.
-Only cannonballs. Yes. -Mhm.
-This is Henry. Our baby. -Huh.
So you have a child? But, how?
Oh, Joubie-Boubie. When a mommy and a daddy…
Love each other very much, they lie in a bed together and…
-Chards! -"Zip"
And you guys? What is your name again?
It's Hertjie.
-Hertjie. It's Hertjie. -Hertjieee. Hertjie. Pizza face. Pizza
face. He had a terrible pizza face. Do you have children?
Yes. The… four terrorists are with
their grandmother.
-Four? Four. -Four? Oh my word. Four. Are you
trying to singlehandedly to ruin the world?
Wow.
Personally, I can't imagine a weekend without my children. No.
-Me neither. -Oh. I can.
Me too. For example, I want ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with…
Yeah…
Our YOUNGEST child this weekend.
Oh, well, surely not, absolutely, nothing?
-Yeah, surely not nothing? -Is there a pool?
I'm sure there is one. Come on, Hertjie.
-Uh, no, but… -Hey? Uhm…
Ag, guys. He's beautiful.
-What have you done? -Me? What have I done? What
did Hertjie and Karla do?
-We have to take him back right now. -Whoa. Let's think about
this. Just for a minute.
JP, there's nothing to think about. It's not our baby.
Yes, but only a few know about this, so, technically… We can pretend to be his
Please don't say it. Am I speaking in subtitles?
Parents and…
We can convince the yBAB lady we're a happy family.
You just said it. My love.
We've tried this little white lie thing before and it blew up in our faces.
It wasn't all that bad. I got you out of the deal after all.
KP, focus. This contract is important. More important than the Dubai rugby thing.
Uh.
We can't do both if we have a ba…
If we what?
If we have a…
If we what?
How are we going to get any work done with this?
Okay, you're right. It's a stupid idea. Let's give him back.
Thank you.
-Wait, wait. What about Joubert? -What about him? Tell him, he misheard us.
Hmm.
Okay, bubby-bubby. We're going to take you back
to your mommy and daddy soon.
Yyyep… and that's why people our age, shouldn't have children.
Well, if we, did, it wouldn't, really be such a bad idea, would it?
Give him back.
We're going to mommy and daddy. Coo, Coo, Cooo. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
I'm telling you it was as big as this.
Oh. It's her. The, Elon Musk of baby products. It's her.
-What? What, what? Who? -Oh, okay, okay, okay. What do we do now?
Bur for you. You know.
Yo ho! JP. Jaci. Helloooo.
Hey. Okay, let's… get this over with quickly.
Ohhhhh, that's JP and JACI from… what's the name of the company again?
Mojo.
FOMO, ah, so forgettable. And they lost the "Cars You Can Trust" campaign to us,
-JDW, recently. Huh. -No, I know who they are, but…
-Who is this cutiepie? -Uhh, well, he's actually our uhm…
Awww, He's such a strong little chap. And he looks like an
EXCAT copy of you two.
Please tell me his name.
-Uh, the, baby's name is… Henry. -Henry, helloooo. Are you here to
help your mommy and daddy this weekend?
Oh, he is such a cuuutieeeee. Mommy, you must be so proud.
Yeah. Very.
Mmm. YOU are so adorable. I think I should give
you the yBaB contract.
Yeah, well… Uh. Yes. Little Henry is actually also a little yBaB ambassador in
-the making. -Hm-hm.
Uhh, look, look. Ehhh,
Chadrie and Chardonnay are
wearing the same outfit.
-They're matchiiing. -Ag, I just quickly made it myself out of
curtain scraps…that I recycled… like Marry poppins.
Well… we don't really like to dictate to Henry what he has to wear.
Yeah…on the other hand… we believe children needs guidance.
Hmm. In the right direction, yes.
Ooooh, I just love a little bit
of healthy competition.
I guess it wouldn't be much of a pitch… without babies, would it?
-Guess not. -Definitely not.
I'm…so…excited, I can't wait for your pitches for next week.
Hmm.
You guys should use this weekend to get familiar with the yBaB products properly.
I like it when my finalist's pitches are based on their own personal experiences.
-Love it, love it, love it. -You're right. Being a father for the
last 11 years has been my greatest honour.
How old did you say Henry was again?
-Uuup…about five… six…months. Months. -Maybe… five or six years. Months.
-Henry is an… old…soul. -He's uh… He's our greatest inspiration.
Hm. O, Sonja Herholdt is my greatest inspiration.
Marietjie. We're ready for the official yBaB welcome in the Glasshouse.
-Hm? -Oooh, Copy that.
See you later on the dance floor.
-See you. -Well…may the best baby… I mean…pitch…win.
Hmmm. Joubert. I hope you… have some adult nappies in that bag.
Cos things could get messy.
Okay…we're officially the parents of a… fake baby.
Fake parents, but a real baby. Ah, this idea is sooo…terrible, it…
That it might just actually work. And it's only for the weekend.
JP. It's not just for the weekend, it's…
Hertjie and Karla are also here so…
Soon enough we'll swop the nappy bag for a laptop bag. It'll be fine.
-Hm. Hmm. Yeah. -Hm. It's nice. Cheers.
Ohh.
-A burger…for the baby. A burger? -Oh. Thanks.
Seriously?
What's wrong?
Hmm. It taste funny. I uhh… I just brushed my teeth.
No, you didn't.
Well… then it's just bad champagne, okay? I need to go pee.
Okay. More for me then.
I know, I love it.
Yeah, it's great.
Hmm. Venue's nice.
So this is what a weekend without kids is like.
Yeah. No nagging, at all.
-Or… second hand baby food everywhere. -And tonight, WE'LL sleep like babies.
Hopefully not how our baby sleeps at night.
Uhh-uh. Jaci and JP have no idea what's waiting for them this weekend.
-It won't. Hmm. -I'm sure from which side it
-has to go it, left or right. -The left side. If you put it
-through the right, it's going to… -She's about to start.
Hi there, all y'all. How you doin'?
I guess I could just say, howzit.
Ag, man.
It is so nice to be back in my home country and to finally launch yBaB on
African soil.
A big "yBaB" welcome to all my distinguished guests.
My…influencers, the retailers, members of the media…and of course,
the agency representatives…
who will be pitching… to promote…my awesome brand…
to the rest of the African continent.
Folks…you have been invited here to learn all about my products,
but most importantly, you are here… to have a great time while doing it.
Yeah.
So…let's kick off this weekend…
with the… Y-NOT dancing and Vodka tasting event
Because why shouldn't parents have a little bit of fun too? Love it.
Come on, people. Let's get our feet moving.
Marietjie? Wonderful… speech. When was the last time…you slow danced?
The last time was on Noah's boat.
Then you're in the right hands. Hmm?
-Oh. -Woah.
Hey. Let's go.
Ugh. I have to say…I'm miss holding my little baby boy.
Ughh, pull yourself together. It's for the contract, remember.
Yeah. You're right. Henry is a working baby now.
Exactly, maybe he will infect Jp and Jaci. I think Jp has the baby fever anyway.
-That, or it's a mid-life crisis. -He's so restless. He thinks we're
in Dubai, but this is for families.
-Henry will sort that out quickly. -Yes.
Uh. What if we left his baby monitor with him? We'll always be able to listen in.
Clever, but… I want one more drink
before we check on him.
Well… if you insist -Ohhh. -Then…shaken not stirred…papa.
Oh, I love it when Russian Karla comes out.
-I love being here. Mikhail Gorbachev. -Mikhail.
Stroganoff.
No way. Somebody slap me with a
wet fish from Fish Hoek.
Those two are lying. And De Wet agrees.
"The Jackal with a baby?" Laugh emoji, laugh emoji, laugh emoji.
JP would've said something at the reunion the other day.
He wouldn't have stopped bragging. "Look at my baby, look at my baby!"
Ag, Joubie-Boubie, would you just let it go now. It's story-time, and the kids are
in bed.
And there's nothing about them and the baby online. Not even on social media.
-I'm going down to that dance. -No!
-And, I'll see… what I can find out. -Come on.
I'll talk to Hertjie as well. Him and JP… are as tight as butt cheeks.
Jouber Johagen de Waal, you promised you wouldn't leave
us on our own this weekend.
-Chads. Chads. Chads. -No. Mmm. Mm.
We're doing this… for us, our children, and all the babies in Africa.
And SOUTH Africa.
-And South Africa. Yes. -Yes.
My man.
Do you have the baby monitor? Ahh.
It's here. Neatly tucked away under the blanket.
Oh, thank goodness.
Please. Just take the baby. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but he won't stop
-screaming. -Yes. Please.
Euughh. I… I think he has… h… he smells funny. His nappy's full.
Yep. It smells like a spine crawler to me.
-Ohh. -Mmm, you know my rules about
changing your baby's nappys.
Oh, no, no, girl. This is part of the 'borrow-our-baby' package.
Yep! He's yours for the weekend, and that… includes… his nappies.
-Me, and my wife… are going danciiing. -No wait. Listen, we don't want this…
I've put some breastmilk in your fridge. See you two later, or not.
The night is still an embryo.
-Hey. -Stop smelling me, Hertjie!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Psspsspsspss! Hey!
-Hey. -Yo. 'Sup?
Joubert.
-Okay, then. Have a good evening. -Great.
-Did, uh… you guys forget something? -Yes, Joubert?
Yes.
Woah!
Cowa-bunga!
Throw water. Throw sand. Because I'm on fire.
You know Joubert, the only thing that will help you is stop, drop, and roll.
Um, look at this move!
-Okay. You're changing the nappy. -Oooff. That's… me?! Why should I do it?
Because I dealt with the baby grow.
-Okay. Let's do this. Okay. -Cool.
It's just a poop. It's just a poop. Here we go. Here we go!
-Mm. -Mmm, oh! Watch his weapon!
Aw, the one in front, or in the back?
Ew! Mm, that is…
What does she feed him?
-Okay. Open the bag. Close it -Wet wipes! Get the wet wipes.
No. Can't we just rinse him under the tap?
-He's a baby, not a frying pan! -Okay, lift his feet and I'll wipe.
-Yes, Mr. "I-change-diapers-everyday." -Just lift his feet.
Oh. Mmmm!
Oh. I've got… poop. I've got poop on my h… my hand!
Is this the guy they call The Jackal now?
Let's see if we can try and keep this one clean. Okay?
Yes! Ohh, la, la.
Defintely his father's child.
With his mother's lungs.
-Mmmm. Ah, to us. Ahhh, of course. -To us. Freedom.
Is he? Ahhh, this guy.
Seriously.
Is he behind us?
I think so. I can feel it.
How can we help you, Joubert?
I thought we could have a CHAT… about the old days.
Why do you want to do that?
Hm. There's a… you have a… hm. You're dress' leaking.
-Um. -Uhhh.
What do you mean?
-Another drink? -Yes. I thought you'd never ask.
So, Jaci and the jackal… have a child.
Mmm, yep. Like most people here do. And you, and us.
-Yes, yes. -We…
I just thought that after the fiasco with his father and stepmother…
he'd never want to reproduce.
Yes, well… people change.
Will you excuse us, please? We want… to enjoy the break from our five monsters.
Five? But, earlier you said that… there were four.
-Four. Five! -Four, five, fifty.
It's a lot of children!
They just kept following the way out. Bye, Joubert!
Ha!
-Did I just say too much to him? -Ahhh, relax. He's as
dangerous as a pack of tissues.
-Would you rather… check on Jaci and JP? -Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
I mean, what could go wrong?
-Where's his volume control? Do something! -What?
Just… put salt on him!
Oh! Mm. See? Mhmm.
Shoot!
Ohhh.
-Ohhhh. -Ooohhh, careful.
-Oh, come on! Almost. -Come on, baby. Come on, let's go.
Ooooh.
Um… when do you think the FUN part of being a parent starts?
It can't be that bad. Millions of people do it every day.
Awww, you two make a beautiful picture.
Maybe this little one will grow on us. I told you we'd be amazing parents.
So, speaking of parents…
Helloooo! Oh.
Aw, mommy's little precious boy. My little pop-tart.
Yes. Come, let's give Aunt Jacki and Uncle JP a
Ahhhh!
Little me-time, and you, boob time.
-Hm. Wow. -Yes! Ohh, my sweet angel.
The two of you look like you've been partying all night.
-I'm so tired, I can hear colours. -Sort yourself out. Today's the yBAB
event's day, and you have to impress.
Damn! Denise and the entourage. I need to check in.
Relax, Denise is on it. They're probably prepping to paraglide.
-But everyone wants to know where you are. -Hopefully kicking Joubert's butt soon.
Denise! Hey, how are you? Hold on, I'm walking out.
Ugh.
Ohh. Excuse me.
Hey.
-Are you okay? Ahh. -Mmm. It's probably just bad room service.
Sorry. I'm sympathy vomiter.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, okay.
Wait a minute. Popcorn.
Candy floss, and… a touch of strawberries!
You smell like Karla. When she was pregnant.
What?
Hertjie.
Hertjie, you can't tell anyone. Promise? Especially not Karla.
Because she'll tell JP, and I haven't told him anything yet.
He'll divorce me.
And then, I'll be a single parent, and…
I'll have to grow a beard for their 'bring your dad to school day'!
And Karla will be furious if she finds out you knew before her.
Promise me.
Jaci. You know he's my best friend,
and I'm as bad at lying as Eskom is at generating electricity.
I'm begging you.
-Ugh! Why don't you just be honest? -I, I, I, I, I tried! I will! I'm
going to, I obviously have to, but…
I've only just found out myself, and… I'm… waiting for the right moment.
I'm so happy that you got knocked up. Aww.
Promise me.
Okay.
But you know secrets between couples lead to uncomfortable nights on the couch,
right?
Thank you, Hannes. I owe you a round at… Leopard. What time is it? Birdie time.
Yesss-ah. Chadrie!
-Shhht! The kids are asleep. -I have just gotten off the phone
with the CEO of Blue Peach Media.
-Mhmm? -A while ago he was with Jaci at a pitch
and he says that she was definitely not preggos back then.
Maybe she just carried small.
No ways. If she ate a pea, she'd have a bump.
Mmm. I've got it!
Maybe, Jaci adopted a baby.
-Right. No. -Hmm?
See what you can find out at the events today.
Either way, we're going to nail them.
Ohhh.
-Come on, come on, come on! Nice, my turn! -Yes!
How are you guys? It's such a beautiful day here at yBab.
Oh my goodness… look how much fun everyone's having.
I have a beauty hack to share with all of you. So,
the yBab booty paste isn't JUST for babies.
I use it on my pimples. It literally gets rid of pimples
overnight. And then,
the nipple cream is amazing for
the dark circles under your eyes.
So, try it out. Thank me later. And that's it.
Cheers to an amazing yBab weekend.
-Oh, hi guys! Do you want some? -Mmm!
Mm mm.
I can't decide if it's, one: 60 percent, or two: 70 percent dark chocolate,
but it's definitely a number two!
-Uh, no! -You ladies wanna join?
Uh, no thanks Tawnie.
Why do they call her "tannie"… if she looks so young?
Marietjie! Your favourite sport is about to start.
Oooh! That's great!
Marietjie! That's so Marietjie.
-Marietjie! I get it. -Yes.
Okay, Partners!
Best you start warming up and studying the 'Get the pregnant one to the hospital
on time' track.
Remember the rules. If your pregnant watermelon breaks,
it's game over.
-So, for the event… -Hey, Hertjie! Listen,
-the game plan is simple. -Hmm?
One of us must win, and the other must make sure that Joubert…
DOESN'T.
Rather you than me. I have the heart of a champion,
but my legs of a spectator.
What? How so?
I think it's… important that you do
this one on your own.
Why?
Oh, you know. Jaci could pop at any time.
Pop?
You know. Pop, as in… burst.
Her appendix could burst at any time. It's like an addendum to the gut.
No one knows what it is…
You know,
sometimes I wonder exactly the same thing about you if you don't stop
talking nonsense! Get it together!
I actually came up with the idea way back when we had to race through the
corn fields with a tractor.
On the way to the hospital when I was in labour with my third child. Yes.
Popping out babies can be an interesting experience.
Mm. Mine were all caesareans. No stories, only scars.
And you, Jaci?
Uhh, I just adopted the point of view that…
The stork delivers babies.
So, you adopted then.
No! She means she gave naturally!
Yes, yes. VERY… naturally.
In a… dam. Bath.
A… A… And… when my water… bent? Broke!
When my water broke, I…
I just SERIOUSLY struggled to… BREATHE properly, and I…
I urgently… had to…
Visit the… bathroom?
But then, I just… pushed him right out!
"Him" being JP. Because… he… was in my way!
And THEN…
You were, what, uh, in labour for 23 hours?
Twenty-three hours!
No wonder the poor child has such a long head.
He does not have a long head.
I gave birth in a cop car.
You guys. Uggh. It was beautiful.
My, uh, hospital bag was ready, and when my water broke…
Joubie-Boebie loaded it into the car and rushed to the hospital.
But unfortunately, he left me at home.
And then?
I waited outside the house on the pavement.
And the police van?
Luckily… my neighbours' house was
broken into that day.
So, I got a free ride with the police. They even put the sirens on for me.
In the end, I just sneezed, and… Chardonnay shot right out.
Really? Well, with my kids, it was in like a banana,
and out like a pineapple.
Okay, everybody. On your mark.
-Oh! Nice. -Oh!
Get set, and… go!
-Hey! -Go, Joubie-Boubie, go!
-Catch up, Hertjie! -Come on, JP!
Run, faster!
-Come on, JP! You're in the lead! -Watch out, Hertjie!
Come on! Woo! Come on, you're doing great!
Yes! Come on, come on!
Yes, baby! Go!
-Come on, guys! You can win! Ohh, no man! -Try not to fall! No!
Haaaa!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, goooo!
Oh, get up Hertjie!
-You're doing so well guys! Keep going! -Yes, come on babyyyy!
-Come on, JP! You got this. Focus! Focus! -Hertjie, get up! Please!
Come on, win this for us! Go!
-Ah! What the hell, bro? -Oooff.
-Hertjie! -Yes!
Woo! Wooo!
-Go! You can do this! -Come on, JP! Yes!
-Go, JP! Yes! Yes! -Keep going! You can do this, come on!
Go, JP! Come on, come on, you can do this! Keep it up! Come on! Come on! Come
-on! Yes! -Come on, boys! Hertjie! Come on!
They called you the jackal because you're so used to leftovers!
-Really? -Ahh!
-Ugh. -Alright, that's enough now!
-Nooo! Come on! -Enough! What are you
-two doing? Stop it now! -JP! Focus. Stop you can fight
-later. Get up, get up! Come on. -JP! Hey, JP!
-JP! Come on, let him go! Keep going! -Let him go!
My sweetheart!
I won the event! I actually won the event!
Karla! Come take a picture for Denise! She won't believe it!
I'll hang it up in my office!
-Yes! -It's a boy!
What happened there, Joubie?
Who's Denise?
It's… very easy, my little pom-pom nose. Call this Denise woman.
Tell her you work for yBab, and that you need more information
about Jaci and JP's… little one.
-But she'll recognise my voice! -I don't think so, it's been years. Oh!
You should use an American accent! You know? Like we practiced!
Yes. Like the, 'Real housewives of New York'.
-New York? New… York… yeaaaahh. -New York, yeah!
New… New York, yeah. Alright.
Okay. O… Okay, I can do that, I think. Okay.
-Mhmm. Yes. -New York.
Denise, hello?
Hello! Uh, my name is, Char… three.
And, I'm calling from yBab.
I can't get ahold of Mr and Mrs Basson…
And I need to whip up some numbers for the rest of the weekend.
Are they staying an extra night with their baby?
Baby? What baby?
The… baby that…
Mrs. Basson was in labour with for 23 hours in the dam.
You know, the, ag,
man! The baby that the stork didn't bring,
you know, man.
Uh, I think it's best if you speak to the hotel desk.
I don't feel comfortable giving out their personal information.
-My goodness, she's so rude. Ugh. -Pshh. Personal information? They're
babies. We don't want their ID numbers.
Sorry, Joubie, tried my best.
Mm, it's fine. They'll slip up sooner or later.
And I'll be ready for it.
Well done, moms and dads!
That's our MessY-hub wrapped
up for the day!
-Look at the spaghetti rain! -Aw, you guys are such naturals!
-Thank you. -Oh! Taste this. It's my own
concoction for our local market.
-Oh! -It's "boerewors" flavour.
-Oh, saus… Wow. -What? Wow.
Hmm. Oopsie. How it is?
-Mmm! This isn't really… -Nice, it's… interesting.
Mmm!
It's… not something that you taste every day.
-No. Enjoy. -Mm. Mmm.
Mmm, that stuff's… terrible. It tastes like… whale snot.
-Do you want this? Mmm? -My braniac. You've been so good…
-with the posts for JDW's insta. -Oh, yes. Mmm.
How about you get ALL of the babies together, take a picture…
-Yes! Yes! -And then, tag the agency in it?
It's almost like having all your… ducks in a row!
Yeah.
-O-kay. Let's go and take a picture. -I love that! Yes, let's… let's bring all
the babies. We'll put them together in a row.
-Ah, yes. Come with me. -Oh!
-There we go! Wow! Instagram ready. -Oh, there you go.
Please‚ uhm‚ can you keep an eye on Henry?
-Yep. I'm just sending… Denise a message. -Proudly South African rainbow babies.
The team in America's gonna love this.
Great idea Chadrie and Joubert!
Denise, hey. Uhhh, don't forget. They love Kurt Darren's music and biltong,
so make sure there's a lot of that.
-Joubie-boubie is going to L…O…V…E …-this. -Uh, do you mind
sending those to me as well?
Not at all! I'll tag Mojo in the post as well.
Really? That would… be amazing.
Sure thing. Let me take a photo of you and Henry and I'll post that too.
Oh, um, uh, we're not crazy about posting pictures of Henry on social media.
Mm. I see.
Chabert and Joudrie only got their accounts when they turned four.
Why don't I take a picture of you anyway, and post it?
Oh, no. You know what? I, um… Oh! Sjoe! Mm!
Oh! It smells like‚ he's left an extra-special present for me and JP.
Wow! Hmm. That's uh…
-Yes. JP. JP! -Uh, Denise, a try, um, is actually
worth five points. I know it's confusing.
You're coming with, I'm not dealing with this bomb alone.
Not another bomb. Damn.
Sup. 'Sup. Okay, guys. Deal time.
If you do a good job babysitting, you'll get extra screen-time…
And your mom… won't know…
that you're not doing your
binary number systems.
-Mom will find out. -She always knows when we're lying.
Um, well. Uh, then, just lie better… than… other teenagers do. 'Kay, bye!
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Oh, hell.
What? Don't tell me it's another spine-crawler.
It's… much, much worse.
How could it be worse than a…
Can 'it' fall off like an umbilical cord?
So, Henry's a girl.
Henry's not a girl. This isn't Henry!
There you go! Yes!
There you are. Sweetheart! Where were you? I've looked here already.
Where have you been playing, huh?
JP. Where's Henry?
He must be here somewhere. He can't walk yet. As far as I know.
Henry? Hey, Henry! Henry! I don't see him, he's…gone like an earing.
Henry? Henry!
Henry!
Oh. Rookie mistake.
Maybe Karla took him, for a feeding…
I just can't believe that this is the reason why I got up from my afternoon nap.
-Oh. -That's fine.
-My reason's usually my bladder. -Hi! Uh, a quick…unimportant question.
Is… Henry maybe with you?
What? No, why would he be with us?
Ag, we just… thought that you… missed him so much, that…
Where's my baby?
Not here?
-No! -No!
-Uh, okay! See you guys later! -Okay! Sorry to bother you.
No! Wait! Where's my baby?
-Uh, well… you see. Accidentally… -Well, we might've… sort of… somewhere.
Lost him. Yes.
-What? -What? He's a baby, he's
not a bunch of car keys!
-Um… Y… Yes! Let's try it! -Um, uh, uh… his baby monitor! Okay.
-Hotel security! Now! -Move, move, move!
Get out of the way, man!
Uh! Excuse me!
Oh! Sorry. We're looking for a baby.
Well, this is my baby! Freak show!
You couldn't even look after our fake baby for a few seconds.
-Henry is not fake! -Henry is not fake!
He's just not your baby.
-We wouldn't have needed a fake baby if… -Yes, but you're the
one who just TOOK him!
So that we could be fake parents.
If I hear the word fake one more time, I'll attack you like a drunk dentist!
Go back, retrace your steps! Let's go to the swimming pool.
I"ll never allow my children out of my body again.
-Wonderdal. -Wonderdal.
-Do you see him anywhere? -What?
It looks like the pool's empty. I don't know.
-Heya yBab squad! Do we have a gem for yo… -Hi. Sorry, I need this. Thank you! Your
attention please! We're looking for my, o… OUR FRIENDS…
JP and Jaci's baby boy, Henry!
Yes, he's the size of a small bag of potatoes!
He was last seen… in a yBab baby-grow. And he does NOT have a long
head!
How do you lose a baby?
That's, uhh… terrible.
I mean, how could you trust someone with anything if they can't even look
-after their baby? -Oh! Have you checked lost and found yet?
You know, Chadrie… uh, w… we… We were just on our way there!
I'll look around the gardens. There are so many open
water sources out there, you never know. Accidents… happen so quickly.
-Yes, that's true. -Come.
I'll do it. Okay. Don't worry, everybody. Everything's going to be fine.
Okay. Uh, reception! What do we ask them do we tell them the truth?
What are we going do? This is the last place he was with us.
Well, you were so busy playing "Instagram,
Instagram" with Chadrie that you forgot to look after him.
Me? I was working. You were the one playing with
your phone the whole time!
No, I wasn't! I was checking in with Denise,
on the other contract that could be paying FOMO… Mojo's bills next month.
I'm going back to the hotel. Security might know something.
Someone could've taken the wrong baby from the Messy hub.
-Ughhh. Not if it's your own baby, Jaci. -It happens!
-Hey. Karla… I'm, INCREDIBLY… -We didn't find him.
This isn't a good time to talk to me.
-I know you must be angry but… -NOOO You have no idea
because you're not mother.
I found him. I have the baby. I have the baby!
-My, my baby. -Really?
Joubert is the man. I've got him. Wooohooo.
Aww, yay.
-Sweetheart. Thank you, thank you. -That's so amazing.
My baby, I can't believe you found my baby!
My sweet little poppet.
-Oh. Thank you, thank you. thank you. -Her baby? I thought it's their baby.
And I thought the stork's suppose to deliver the baby.
I don't understand a word but this is like watching a Spanish telenovela.
Excuse me, can I… Ladies and, gentelmen…
You're all very welcome. Look as a… a father of three children I can… only
-imagine the trauma, that. -Daddy, you said if we looked after
-the baby, we can have more screen time. -Hey?
But you haven't given given us any data yet.
Just go back to the hotel room. Trauma is.
Daddy. A promise is a promise.
Come on we took such good care of the baby while you were away.
Joubie-Boubie. Did you really leave the baby
with the children… alone?
-Uuuh. N,no. -You better
Mommy says that if you lie, your tongue is going to
slide down your throat.
Joubert de Waal. What did you do? You better tell me…
I just. I. But.
-Tell me right now. Think carefully. -Who's the clean little boy?
What?
And besides. Henry is fine. He's safe and sound.
So I'm stuggling to understand… what the problem is?
Are you mad? Have you lost your mind? Hmm, wait, wait.
The problem Joubert? You! Do you have any idea how worried we were? That's not even
-like… -Okay, everyone, caalm
doown. Just calm down.
-Stand with you mother. -Coincidentally, the baby
was… in my hotel room all along.
-Oh my peaches. -YOU… piece of cockroach… poop.
Chadrie.
-Can I have a wet wipe please. -No way, José.
-The four of us need to talk… NOW. -Chadrie.
Chadrie, what are you doing? HELP MEEEE.
By the way you have something small stuck in between your teeth… Joublertsie.
You two are the most irresponsible people in the entire world.
I mean, who loses their best friends' baby?
Uh. Oh I know who. THEY do.
-Listen… please just. -Uh, I…
In nine months time you might as well use your own baby for pitches.
Or… 7 months, or, years.
Or whenever the two of you finally decide to have a child of your own.
You two are fired as friends!
We're going… to pack Henry's things,
get our bags and then we're going straight home.
And you two will have to figure out how to impress 'Meraaikie' all by yourselves.
Come!
Yes! But… after… the yBab, eat as much as you want, rib night. Then we're leaving.
-Now, Herklaas! -Oh. Stupid.
The one thing we're good at is our jobs, and now we've messed that up too.
Joubert's getting the contract. And you'll have to go to Dubai.
The contract? Is… that your only worry? It's always just work.
Really… you want to go there?
You sleep in your office more than you do at home, Jaci.
Well maybe I prefer my desk to a man who will always put his businesses before
his family.
All I ever wanted was for us to be a family. No, a REAL family.
Yes, a work family. Us?
We can't even look after a fake baby.
What gave us the idea that we'd be able to do this for real?
You're right. You're right,
obviously we can't deal with
fake or office children.
What are you trying to say? You don't want children?
Or just not with me?
Any baby would be better off without us, Jaci.
Without the two of us? Or without you?
I'm going to help Denise with the contract.
Fine then. Just go.
Have fun playing with your
rugby balls in the desert!
We don't need you, anyway!
Lesson seventy-eight, son. A lie is like a blanket.
If you cover your head, your feet stick out.
I can't believe we're packing again.
-Ridiculous. -Nonsense.
Marietjie. Why are you sitting here all alone.
Uh, well that's because the Americans can't braai to save their lives.
Barbeque-Smarbeque.
Can I twist your arm. There's a lot of sausage here.
I'm… not the best company at the moment.
Just sit down. It's my birthday and really have
nobody else to share it with.
Oh uuum. Congrats.
Didn't your family come with you to South Africa?
NEVER. We've drifted apart, many years ago.
I was obsessed with work. I… lost track of my husband and children.
Now it's too late.
If we ever end up like this. I'm divorcing you.
-I'm sure they don't feel that way. -They don't even speak to
eachother, nevermind me.
I didn't realise that…
What? That 'America's favourite granny' hasn't met any of her grand-children yet?
You're not the only one that lives for their work.
JP and I have really messed up. We shouldn't have lied about Henry.
We took advantage of our friends and their baby.
But… come to think of it. It's actually… Karla and Hertjie's idea so…
They're also a bit guilty. But we should have known better.
The irony is, we didn't even have to lie about anything.
I found out a few days ago that… I'm definitely without a doubt… pregnant.
And you are actually the first person that I'm telling this to.
Well, technically you're the second… . Hertijie literally sniffed it out of me.
You didn't say anything, you bacan breath.
Um…
Okay. Congratulations.
Have you decided what to do?
I have no idea.
Well from what I've seen between you and J.P, you make an awsome team.
He doesn't think so.
Well that's because he doesn't know about the third player in your team.
You think so?
Of course. People can change. You did.
And what if l told you that the yBab contract is yours. How do you feel?
Kind of empty.
Because?
It's not that important anymore.
So what IS important?
Take it from an old lady that knows… don't make the same mistake as me.
Hey, what are you waiting for?
Thank you. Thanks for everything.
And… enjoy your braai.
-Oh and enjoy your birthday. -Cheers.
I don't see her anywhere.
Hey guys… I feeel sooo, super, duper, POOPER, guilty about Joubert.
He's a baby thief.
Heeey. We've been looking for you.
Uh, I feel like an idiot and you don't need to forgive me but. Uh…
But you need to find J.P as soon as possible, to tell him the good news.
How?
-We heard everything. -What?
You're going to be a mommy. I'm sooo excited.
WHAT?
And you're finally going to get fat. 'Through think and thin,' for realsies.
-What? Aww! -YES!
-Yes Yes, yes. Yay, yay, yay, yay, Yah. -Yes. Finally. Yes!
Come on guys, we need to go before JP signs that crazy donkey contract!
Oh, no, no. wait. It's Henry's nap time. You guys can go ahead.
No leave him with me. It's also time for Chardonnay's nap so.
Um.
I… uhm.
Ooof, uh. Uuh.
Okay. Ahhh, I can't belieave I'm doing this.
Come on, we need to go.
Daddy, Today, you drive like a taxi.
Bye, guys!
Mr. Basson… afternoon. I need your cellphone please.
Hey
Standard security protocol.
Okay. Happy?
After you, sir.
-JP's not answering his phone. -Almost there.
With the way that you're driving. The cars shadow is two steps ahead of you.
Ew, is your car part of science project or something.
-Move it, Stertjie. -Don't shout at me!
-J.P, my friend. Welcome. -Mmm. Hmm. There you are.
I'm glad you could make it to the formalities… huh?
I thought I'd squeeze in a last second drop kick.
Oh
Rolex. Stand down boy.
Rolex?
Yeah. He's my watch dog.
Come, let me first show you around. DENISE and… our rugby friends are waiting…
in the, entertain…
Rolex! Rolex! Entertainment area. Rolex!
Come on boy. Go walking, walking.
I love my Rolex.
This is his holiday mansion.
Whatever this guy does, it must pay well.
-Look at that. -Okay uuh, stop over here
I'm going… uh, I'm going in.
Um… find a parking.
Okay.
Okay, go, go, go.
I want one full perimeter patrol, eyes open, fingers on the triggers. Go.
Hi. I'm Jaci Basson, from MOJO and Amalgamated Media.
My team is waiting inside for me.
Sorry. Your name isn't on the VIP list.
Oh,
my name doesn't really need to be on the list if my company is about to sign
a multi-million dollar deal with you boss.
No name, no access.
Look. I'd probably do the same thing if I was in your position. And you look like a…
. stick to the rules kind of guy.
Without a… shadow of doubt.
So. Uhm.
The love of my life‚ is inside signing a contract and it can ruin our,
well‚ a lot of people lives.
And I really need to find him, stop him, and tell him he's going to be a dad.
So this is the one time‚ I'm begging you.
Could you please do me a favour and turn a blind eye, huh?
Ma'am, there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
Oh please, I'm begging you.
I'll even name my unborn baby after you, what's your name?
Manie Abdul Solomon Zahir JEAN… Komodie. Double barrel.
That's not a name that's a… short story.
-Access denied. MA'AM! -Uh.
Okay. Okay.
Jeez.
-This is a very nice drink. -Yes.
Professional.
-Thank you. -Yes.
And you know, you can never be too careful with a drink like this.
-Excuse me. -Yes.
Why aren't you at the yBaB pitch?
-Don't bother asking. -What's going on?
I'm trying to make sure that everyone at Mojo can still… get a salary on Monday.
What?
-Bismark. Jannie. Hey. Same here. -J.P It's so good to see you. Yes.
Yes. I can't believe it's finally happening.
Yes… all thanks to you guys.
The security doesn't want to let me in. My name isn't on the list.
Doesn't he know who you are? Um.
I'll try and distract him in the meantime.
-See if you can find another way in. -How? Did you see all the security?
Uum. Well… Hertije's basically a ladder. Climb him like one.
Uh, no thank you. She looks a bit heavy.
Hey. Through thick and thin. Hm.
Through thick and thin.
Okaay. OP-PAAA.
Ahoy!
Dosvedanya! Help. Help. I'm ghe' lost.
-Hi. Um, I'm Karla. Herze… -G, Govinia. -Hi. Mmhmm.
From Russia. Mmmm AFRICA. Africa BEAUTIFUL country.
Okay. But very hot. Very hot.
Okay, are you. Are you okay?
Nyet. Not, not, not… ghe Okay. I need… WOTER.
-Uh. All this gheat makes me VERY LOST. -Okay.
Okay, I'll get someone to bring you some…
Uuuh, oof. Vodka. Water or Vodka. Uh, to, to drink.
-Oh I feel…. faint. Oooh all this gheat. -Um I'm gonna radio someone
down there to bring you water.
-Eh, Nyet. Nyet. Nyet. Now I faint. -Okay, okay. Stay with me! Stay with
me! Stay with me! Hm, are you okay?
Cah' Ooh, I see things, ghe. Hallucinate.
-Uh-huh, don't. Hm… Okay. -Gggggheat.
-You. Are you my brother. -Uh-uh. My father's from
Swartland… not Rusland.
Hello. Who's a good boy.
Okay. Run… I'll keep him busy.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
RUN!
Well this is a result of a lot of peoples hard work.
Today is my dream come true.
J.P. J.P.
Signing this contract in the presence… of genuine… rugby legends.
A few more lines… then it's your turn.
You win. I underestimated you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Uh. Hey. Look here, look here. Look. I know you want it. Come on. Come on.
YES.
Soon we'll be celebrating my first league match… in Dubai.
-Yes. -Yes, yes.
-Yes. Thanks. -I can't wait for the first
-match. Big things, big things. -Thanks so much. YES.
Yah. It's going to be good. I'm so excited.
J.P J.P!
-Jaci? -P…please don't sign the contract.
I.
GUN!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no. There's no gun, that's my wife! There's no
gun! There's no gun! Look it's… it's… Just lipstick.
It's. It's just like here‚ look!
Ah bub?
No man, baba…a baby.
Are we having
-Yes! Yes, we are! Yes we… -We're having a baby!
Yay. We're having a ba. Ja-ci! Jaci!
Hey! Come.
-Hi. -Jaci. Hi? What are you doing?
Oh I'm… just hanging around. Find some help Hertijie.
Okay.
JP, JP! We have to help her. She's, she's, she's. Uh.
Hertjie! I know. I know, I know, I know. Jaci… just hold on, we're going to make a
-plan. -I called for a ladder. Yes.
A ladder! Good idea.
No, no, no. Jan, remember that line-out routine. Striped mouse. Striped mouse.
-Striped mouse. -What? Okay. Whoa, whoa,
-whoa! What is striped mouse? -Striped mouse.
-Just jump. -Okay. WHOA. Almost there.
Jaci. Hold on, I'm almost there.
Okay Jaci. I'm coming.
Okay it's fine. I just. Oh!
It just cracked. Okay. I'm here.
I'm here. I've got you. It's fine, let go.
-Okay. -Okay. Okay.
That's it. That's it.
-Please don't sign the contract. -Ah! That's it. I already did.
How could you choose Dubai over us?
Jaci I… I'm not going.
Denise… is going to Dubai in my place.
-Uh, What? Denise? -Yes.
-Denise! -Yes.
-Denise. Aw. -Oh.
I'm sorry. I'm… I'm really… really sorry. I. I.
I'm just so hormonal and… I wanted to tell you but there was…
babies, nappies and… spaghetti and champagne and…
And I'm just‚ nauseous all the time. Not just in the morning, that's just a nasty
-lie. -Hey. Jaci. Jaci.
We're having… a baby.
And you're okay with that?
Uh… Okay with that? Uh.
I mean you've chosen… a very spectacular way
of telling me about it.
Of course I'm okay with it.
Family first.
I'll find a roof rack for the mclaren. Hmm.
Sorry, excuse me, sorry! I've got a semi-conscious Russian lady at the gate.
She wants to know if her pregnant friend is okay.
She's okay. She's okay.
Oh ya ya she's mo, more than okay. She's perfect!
My crazy… beautiful, pregnant wife… is perfect.
And we're going to have a baby,
-NICE! -Yes!
-Oh! Yeah! -Yes.
-You owe me a plush toy, by the way. -Yes.
We're having a baby.
Cannonball!
Hey Herklaas. It's time to braai.
Lekker pappie.
Speaking of daddies…
who would've thought that while your sperm was busy swimming in circles,
they were actually training for the jackpot. Huuh.
-Huh? -Ah! On that note.
Here's my little rugby team.
-Where's Daddy? There's daddy. -Hello my little cutie pies. Look who's
here! -Hi you little ones, hey lallies, here's daddy!
One, two, three rugby players. Come, come,
come, come. My strong little booooys.