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HE HAS NO SHOES, NO ELEGANT SOCKS, EVERYTHING'S FINE SO FAR.
Sorry, a little emergency.
Let me guess.
You have to leave. The lady upstairs flooded your flat.
No, I live on the top floor.
Then your cat is in heat and you have to leave.
No, I left the air conditioning on.
It's something more serious, isn't it? What could you say?
That I'm looking after an elderly lady and I have to get home to give her pills.
Well, then I'll come with you.
Because I like old ladies.
- In general, I really like older people. - Where?
And the city is a dangerous place. You shouldn't go alone.
Dating is dangerous too. You could always find a serial killer.
Or a serial crazy woman.
Seriously, have you watched...
FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL.
...that series with a serial killer
that sends more coded messages to an editorial office
and they have to guess his code so they can...
Forgive me! The girls are driving me crazy.
IS HE TALL?
Okay? I'll be right back.
WHAT IS YOUR STATUS?
Bitcoin is the best investment.
I've been buying since 2013, when the value was 80 bucks.
With several friends, we are working on the best project.
The world's first Bitcoin city. You get access if you have Bitcoin.
The coolest thing ever.
- What will it be like? Still imaginary? - Exactly.
THINGS ARE GOING WELL WITH BOGDAN FOR ME TOO...
HE'S LATE.
HANG IN THERE, DON'T MAKE UP, HE'S MESSING WITH YOU...
Thank you.
Don't get fooled, manipulated.
- You're a Pisces, very close to Aries... - Firefly!
OK, we'll make up if you insist, but this is your last chance.
Are you okay? You seem a little stressed, are you okay?
Yes. This break, or whatever you call it is killing me.
- I can't take it anymore. - Yes, I know. Me too.
- God, how I missed you! - Shut up!
Firefly... Here's the thing. I've been thinking and...
I want us to be together again. Just like it was in the beginning.
How sexy you are! When we take a break, you get sexier and sexier.
- Is that why you came? - Of course!
And to fix this blouse. You have, you know what, showing.
Take a look! Next time, we'll meet in a strip club, not a pizzeria.
I no longer agree with your oppressive and offensive attitude.
You're right. I know I can be a little jealous sometimes.
But that's only because I have these deep feelings for you.
And I'll work on that. I promise.
That's exactly why I need a little time alone,
without you nagging me all day, so I can focus on this change.
- And to see other women? - It's all for you, Fly. It's all for you.
Do you think I like seeing dozens, hundreds of women?
I do it for us, I swear!
Nothing has opened my eyes more
than seeing how hard it is to be with other women.
- Bogdan, it's embarrassing, seriously! - Why? What?
What you're doing is embarrassing!
You keep looking at this guy who tenses for three hours straight!
Look, just like you're looking now.
- I looked because... - Man...
Yeah, you go to gym. What do you want now, a medal or what?
- Next time find T-shirts for adults! - You'll get beaten up again!
Stop tensing or you might burst a blood vessel in your head!
Wait a minute, do you think you impress me?
Who are you talking to?
- I'M DONE, SEE YOU LATER? - I'M LEAVING!
- I don't know why it didn't work. - It was just a filet mignon.
- I can set you up a virtual wallet. - It's fine.
- You owe me a walk in your town. - We'll do that.
ANOTHER FAIL.
LIA, YOU'RE BEING GOOD, RIGHT?
ARE YOU DONE?
NOT EVEN CLOSE...
It was...
I'M A BIT TIRED, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
Fuck!
What?
I realized that tomorrow morning I have to get up very early
and I don't want to bother you.
Ah, yes. Me neither.
- Shall I drop you off somewhere? - I'll be fine...
I have to go to a pajama party with the girls.
Nice! Sexy!
Indeed!
Do you know what I wanted to ask you? You can tell I've...
- What? - That I...
- I don't understand. - That I...
Oh! No!
How can it be seen? Where?
- Okay. - Okay.
Well, then...
- Bye. - Okay. Have a good day.
Thanks!
Goodbye!
I'M COMING TOO!
Put on your fluffy socks! A shot or two of collagen?
- One. We have a problem. - What happened?
We have the reunion and that fake...
- That Ozempic addict... - That gossip...
- The gold digger. - ...Alina is in charge of planning.
- Okay, yes. But even worse. - She doesn't recycle?
Not that bad. She got engaged.
With a theme?
The group was formed ten minutes ago. 15 bad jokes and 8 semi-racist memes.
I didn't make up with Bogdan.
He needs more time, but I wouldn't want to give her satisfaction. You?
The most traumatic period.
Oh my God, I still remember
how she used to steal my sandwiches...
- What? - Oh, you mean my date.
Pathetic. Wasn't crying after his ex.
- How she'll be happy that I'm single! - Come on, you'll find someone else.
Many wonderful men out there!
You'll get wrinkles and you just got your creams!
- What have you done? - Me?
- What did you do? - Nothing.
Smudged mascara, a tear in the corner of the eye,
pupils slightly dilated, red cheeks from exertion,
lips slightly swollen plus incorrect contouring
from too many applications of lipstick.
And a little irritation on the neck.
What did I tell you about giving head on the first date, Lia?
I explained to you that men are jerks and don't appreciate it!
You torture yourself and they don't see you again!
Not all are like that! You told me to look at his shoes!
- And? - And they were okay.
That doesn't mean you have to go and have sex with him!
Easy with the advice, you're single for three years!
Lia! What Anca means
is that we have to keep men in check a little.
So they want you more.
They want mystery and so we give them mystery!
We don't perform oral sex!
No! Exactly what I was saying, that we don't give men what they want!
We know you've been with one man your whole life! Have fun in heaven!
- Excuse me? What do you mean by that? - What do you mean?
Okay! Let's calm down because we are in the same situation.
I mean, alone! It doesn't even matter how long.
- Not all of us hate men. - I said let's calm down!
I don't hate them. I just say from time to time that they're bastards.
I really don't agree. I see potential in Adi.
I really give this thing a chance!
The children might be a little short, but that's why close-up photos!
And it doesn't matter because we have a lot in common.
We like the same wine, music, he even makes the same air quotes as me.
- Okay, show. - It's been so long since I've made a file!
- What's his star sign? - I don't know.
You didn't ask? Why I keep trying?
He looks better...
- We know. - Pictures!
Look, see who he follows, who follows him, who he likes...
Listen, if he's so great, why didn't you stay with him?
Well... He told me he gets up early
and didn't want to disturb me, so he went to sleep.
- Come on, give me the phone! - Wait...
Give me the phone!
- Give me the phone! - You didn't look at the stories!
- You seem uninterested. - Did he post something?
THE WOMAN MUST BE CHASED.
What is this rubbish?
It's Alpha Max. It's super viral right now, Gemini.
Promotes toxic masculinity.
All the idiots like him. Almost all idiots.
He does personal coaching sessions, teaches them to be real men,
in fact how to have as much sex as possible.
He has all the red flags possible. He's a walking red flag.
- Come on! - Here you go!
- A million followers, you idiot! - The whole country can see you.
1.32 million, but who's counting? Adi, check from time to time.
- Yes. - So, how was it?
Ah, brilliant. Checked off, done.
- Was she fine? - Yes, she had... firm meat.
So, 532 cases solved, ticked off, on the books.
Do you realize how much good you do?
You bring the world back to normal. And you're even making a fortune!
One more round for everyone. Max is paying. I'll give you a discount.
Adi, I'm really proud of you, I mean it.
- Thanks. - Girls, I'm just saying, just saying...
Adi fucked again tonight, so if he fucks again,
he's already warmed up, man!
Yes!
- Block her. She fucked at first date. - What do you mean?
Take the nerve you got tonight, apply it to the next pussy.
- Do you get it? - Yes.
Good. Come on, cheers! To Adi!
Girls, I don't want you to get too excited,
but if you're good, we'll go to the DJ, and you can post your story.
Photo!
Adi!
- So, all you idiots. - Seriously?
OK, let's not panic.
We'll analyze the video with zoom-in, frame by frame.
I want to block him and that's it!
Why isn't he showing up anymore? Vicky, sure you paid your internet bill?
Maybe I didn't upgrade to iOS or maybe the app is blocked.
How these companies do to steal your data?
Did he block me?
He blocked me, seriously? Did I miss the first block?
Okay, calm down! You block someone when you care!
- I don't care! - Not you, him, whom you wanted to block!
No, look. We can learn from this that we shouldn't lower our standards.
That men like this one are even more dangerous.
Lia, it's his loss. You have no idea what's in his heart now!
- You got it wet, Adi! Come on! - Hi, guys! What's up?
- Oh, Motans! - Are you feeling better?
Fine, really fine. I've made great progress.
- Good. - Congratulations.
I took your advice and threw myself into music, into work.
Do your music, man!
- Make those sound lubricants we like! - Let me show you.
Or stay here and sing acapella?
- Or between us? Whisper? - No!
You're my first love
You're everything I had
I cared for you After everything you've done
I still love you, Lavinia Ignat
I still want you, Lavinia Ignat
In fact, I hate you How could you cheat on me?
I numbered every hair From your mole on the back
Come down! It was good, but come on down!
- It's just a demo. - Sure.
I told you to get inspired from life, not to give names, ID numbers, and such.
- But it's a step forward. - Okay. Thank you very much.
- Bye! - Bye!
Bye!
My first wank, song by Motans.
Now celebrities are following him too? God! He has a million followers!
Pretty much all men between the ages of 20 and 40!
We're doomed!
We have to move. No good men left in Romania...
A TikTok said Italians are cool. The language is easy.
Let's calm down! Not all men follow him... No!
Not my Bogdy...
I can just see Alina's grin as she rejoices!
Hey, hold on a minute!
If we kept running into idiots, we've found the culprit.
Damn it!
To understand our enemy, we must know him, right?
- Yes! - Good, perfect!
I'll take him out on a date.
Maybe ask him to stop at least until the reunion.
We have a plan. What are we texting him?
Hey! You are groovy!
No, because it's not 2003 and we don't want to seem available.
Seems the type who sends emoticons with roses.
- Don't underestimate him! - Aren't rose emoticons nice?
- Yes. - Something about going to the gym...
Hey, girls... can take... creatine?
No! We need to find something that's, like, more inventive,
but simple, yet clear, but at the same time not...
Apparently, you only have to look at his story.
HOW ABOUT A CAVA?
So, how does he know what I drink?
He's good!
Listen up, free advice.
Two minutes to find out her wine. Another two, her music.
Doesn't work every time, but everything is on someone's Instagram.
- Hey, but don't women stalk on Insta? - Yes, really!
Is it okay for men to do this?
We borrow their weapons, we don't go into battle empty-handed.
Right!
Now I'll let her simmer a bit, then I'll invite her tomorrow to...
The swimming pool?! Seriously?!
- He's crazy! - Playing dirty!
- The whole District 1 will be there! - No make-up and naked...
- How many hours do we have? - Ten.
It's gonna be close.
Wait! Come here!
- Help me. - Left.
- Up. - That's it! That's her.
Alina! Oh my God, girls!
Oh my God, girls! I can't believe it's you!
Still touching yourselves, like in high school!
I swear!
I thought we'd see you at the reunion, but you showed up here too!
Hop, hop, puff, puff!
I maintain this nice Saint Tropez tan, with the reunion and the wedding...
Because absolutely everyone is asking me about the wedding and about... the ring!
Two carats!
But I suppose you don't have... a wedding!
But wait, dear, don't worry, it's 2025, not everyone have to get married.
I love it!
We can marry each other if it's 2025!
Really? I mean, I want to say, well done, congratulations!
- Lia is joking! - You can't joke like that because it's...
2025! We're so happy to see you!
- Vicky! How is your Bogdan? - I didn't say anything.
He told me you broke up. You know how men are: they all cheat.
- Mine too, but he always comes back. - None of our business!
- Because he's a man! - Right...
- They should be allowed to explore! - Who asked you?
You lost yours in the jungle. Lots of loose monkeys running around!
- Listen, but... Are you okay? - Yes, of course I'm okay!
- Of course I'm okay! I'm... - Oh, my God!
- Assumed! - I love it!
- Okay! - What does that mean?
- Nothing at all. Come on! - Girls!
We wanted to have a couples' reunion, but maybe in another ten years?
- I'll write on the group and it's OK. - Not cool!
Listen, but... Do you use more than two words?
No! We'll bring our boyfriends!
Okay! Well, see you at the reunion!
- Kisses, Little Alina! Ciao! - Bye!
- I fear it more than genital herpes! - Let's take it one step at a time!
- Wanna get in? - Daddy coming to get you?
No... Not today. But you can take me!
- Looks like the one from last night! - What did you do last night?
Well... I didn't want to fuck a slut. At you? How was it?
Give me some details.
Super good! Yes! But she knows her stuff, that girl!
Really? And?
I... Man, if you could have seen me... I grabbed her by the hair and...
guided her right where she needed to go!
Did she have power steering or what?
No, I mean... I grabbed her by the hair and... put her in position!
- If she fucks well, keep her close. - Yeah! Or at least on the bench!
- Sorry, but you are very beautiful! - Thanks!
A chilled champagne...
a Cava...
- A lactose-free cappuccino. - Thank you!
- I'm glad you wanted to come. - Me too!
Hard to be original in the urban jungle where everyone had sex with everyone.
Okay...
What color were her panties?
I think... blue. Like her eyes.
- What? - What?
Were they Victoria's Secret? The panties to get laid.
When you see that ribbon, it's like a green light, you know?
How could he know? He asked me to turn off the light.
Lia! That's not true.
- What are you talking about... - Say it!
- Bitch. - Bitch?
Bitch?
- I didn't even have an orgasm! - What? All that stuff... What was that?
Haven't you heard of faking it?
- No! I would have noticed. - Of course.
- Would you have noticed? - Yes!
He would've. Really?
Wow! Yes, that's right, I like that, you're good, how good you are,
yes, God, that's it, faster, that's it!
The trembling...
God, you were... mediocre!
No woman likes that, like a bunny!
- Adi! - I'll be damned if I did!
Listen, what are you? Some kind of guru for men, or what?
No! Guru is too strong a word. I help them regain their masculinity.
It's a flawed society that wants to transform men.
And we have to be strong. Or God knows where we'll end up!
Everyone must know their role. The man must be allowed to hunt.
In case you didn't know, only lionesses hunt.
Put your handbag on your shoulder, lest someone steal it!
A strong and independent woman! Shall we gather to protest?
Listen, isn't your mother a woman too?
"They're all whores, except my mother or sister."
Said Napoleon.
- Excuse me? - It's a joke.
Napoleon said it.
Yes, it was said by a dwarf who killed millions of people 300 years ago!
- Idiot! - Be careful when you talk about Napoleon.
You wear this mask of confidence to hide a vulnerable woman who needs to be...
a little dominated.
Do you know what I understand?
That you are a sinister misogynist who walks freely
and teaches others how to mock women!
If you're honest, admit that you want to be dominated,
or you get masculine energy.
And you have to be pansies, cute, sensitive, handbag-toting, helpless...
You know what?
I came to make you understand that you're doing a lot of harm.
It's not okay to teach how to manipulate women.
Society has evolved since Napoleon!
See that girl?
Do you think she's having a stroke? Well, no!
She remembers the horrible night
she had with your follower who, after she gave him oral sex,
sent her home and manipulated her into liking him,
even though he knew that he wants just a one night stand.
Do you know how much she's suffering?
How long it will take us to get her out of this state?
Two months! Do you know how many times she'll change her hairstyle?
Do you have any idea
how long it takes to grow your hair from a bob to medium length?
It was oral sex or a blow job? It's a big difference!
Are you okay? You're okay!
Raised eyebrows, pouting? Has anyone told you that you are sexy?
Why so tense? Are you on your period?
I'm not on my period, you sexist! I'm at the beginning of my period!
That has absolutely nothing to do with it. I'd hate you even if I didn't have cramps!
Listen... If we get out of here quickly, I can get all these demons out of you!
One advice.
Free! The most important thing is how you start a relationship.
If you fuck on the first night, he'll think you're a slut!
- Well done! - He'll never get over it.
Do you know why you think that? You think that way because...
You got a small one!
- I don't think that's his problem. - Yes!
- He's an honest "average". - "Average"?
- It's also warm water. - About 18-20 degrees.
- That's "average"? - Come on, girls.
- We're leaving because we want to! - Sure!
Everyone is looking. Smile!
- Kisses! - Bye!
Now I'm really annoyed! Is he playing dirty?
Fine, then we'll play dirty too!
Why post from another account?
Because we are civilized, we know our place,
and our place is not in a scandal.
About him, I don't know what to say...
We'll share the clip on a few groups of interest,
we'll tag a few influencers who think they defend justice
and let the algorithm do its job.
We hit him right in his toxic masculinity.
Everyone will share it?
She works in marketing.
Girls, do you know how marketing works? We get you up, we get you down.
Wow, what a pussy!
If you fuck on the first night, he'll think you're a slut!
I'm glad the girls liked my advice.
And for anyone who questions my principles, I'll tell you one thing:
- I assume it. - Yes!
See you on my podcast "Combinations, not relationships"
with Ștefan.
- Me! - Spilling the beans.
Alpha Max, out!
Thanks for getting me involved. Appreciate it.
- You're my bro. - You too. But I have to tell you.
You won't get Anca. She's a bitch!
Like in school. We rub snow on the girls we like.
And it's only a matter of time before we play "guess who's in my mouth".
I don't know where you went to school. New client, BRB. Hey!
- How about some legs? - What?
Legs are for women. Winter's coming, let's do arms. Come on!
So, relax as much as possible, okay? This is a safe space, no judgement.
- Tell me, what do you need? - First of all...
I need it to smell a little nicer in here. Too much sweat. And secondly, I want to...
I want to... you know! To score.
- Do you want to be a footballer? - No.
- I want to... Fuck. - Okay.
- Why? - Because that's what my dad said.
On his deathbed.
He called me and my mum and said:
"Fuck everything you can! That matters in life!"
- My dad. - A decent man.
Yes.
So, what shall we do? How? Shall we go to Nupa to dance?
Easy, tiger, easy. What kind of women are you attracted to?
- It's harder for me. I'm very specific. - Don't worry. In Romania, everyone fucks.
- So. - I like them muscular.
Okay. Good thing it's a gym.
How do you like the one there... Bending over like that...
Which one? The one working his glutes, or the one at the back?
- The one who's doing the ass. - No! I said "muscular".
She's meow-meow-meow... She lifts her tail, it's clear to see!
I want to see a deltoid, a developed calf... you know.
I'm starting to get it. Personality?
Dominant, definitely. But attentive.
- Humor, but not to hurt me. - Obviously.
A salary that covers my needs, welfare, a Bentley.
- The usual stuff. Nothing difficult. - Not at all. I think we'll have more work.
- Yes, Dad. - Come here.
- How long will the break with Bogdan last? - There's no break in a relationship!
He said we were in a "situation" and not a break.
A term invented by men to get something on the side.
I'll go to this reunion and everyone will find out that I've broken up.
Sorry, Vicky, but I got annoyed with TikTok.
Why? What are people saying?
I thought this Max is super superficial,
but he talked about the traumas in relationships, he won me over.
Someone had to say it. Louder, guys!
He annoyed me a little, but... he's assuming it!
- What's this "assuming" thing? - Isn't it good that he helps people?
How? He's making things worse! It perpetuates shitty stereotypes!
God forbid!
- Who is he? - My boss.
Look, he's a good example.
He has systematic misogyny, passed down from father to son,
but he went to courses on feminism and cancel culture
and now he's struggling to change.
Good afternoon, ladies, if I may call you that...
- Or how to address you? - That's fine. We were talking.
Anca, I brought you some coffee, calm...
- So you were chatting like girls do. - Why? Are you assuming we were gossiping?
No. You were probably talking about art, culture, news...
- Football. - Especially!
I watch women's football. Those girls are very good.
And no, not in that sense.
Lia wrote to me. Let's go.
- It was nice to see you. - Me too.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.
Are you following this boy too? Man, I really like him!
If it's okay with you.
- Why do you like him? - He's assuming it!
Does anyone represent him?
- Maybe he'll sign with us. - Yes! That's why I was leaving.
Do it! Otherwise, I'll fire you!
That is, if you want to be fired.
Out in the snow!
Out for... a coffee!
Enjoy your coffee. Have a wonderful day, warm souls.
What a load of rubbish!
Remember we got hired in Costinesti to spy on your ex-boyfriend?
- That's even worse. - We have no choice.
We have to use our feminine and maternal instincts.
We need to talk to Max's mother.
- With milk? - Oat milk or lactose-free milk...
Oat milk, darling!
I'm not being fussy, I'm just lactose intolerant.
To each their own.
So...
You make a documentary about my love, Little Max?
- Yes. - Good. Well, where are the cameras?
We're filming with our phones, they're very powerful.
I see!
Just a moment.
- Ready? Yes.
- Good! Camera! - Action!
I'm very happy that more and more people
want to get to know my Little Max as he really is.
We have a very good relationship, we are very close
and he is such a good boy!
I breastfed him until five.
A good relationship with mom is a must.
Tell us, how do you feel as a woman when he talks like that about other women?
Wait, dear, I thought you were a smart girl!
Maxi isn't like he acts on the internet, no.
He's a very good boy, he loves his mommy very much
and he acts like that because, well, he's afraid of women!
The truth is that we're mean, right?
Come on, admit it, I can see you're being honest.
- Yes. Yes?
What happened?
- Excuse me, a toilet? - Yes.
Max called me, he always calls me.
Fuck!
Listen! Let's keep the documentary a surprise!
- He'll be really happy when he sees it! - Okay, perfect, let's do that.
- Shall we continue? - Let's continue.
Max was such a cute little chubby boy when he was little, my goodness!
I remember how he would grab me with those chubby little hands of his!
He wet himself until he was six. He took off his nappy himself.
Listen, but doesn't he have a girlfriend?
Ever since what happened on that cursed 8th of March...
I'd rather not talk about it.
Oh my God!
Hey, mom, I'm home. Okay.
- Are you going to get some water? - Yes.
- Max! A pack. - Okay, I'll be right there.
- Beautiful. Walnut, right? - No. Oak.
I'm very glad to have met you.
Very good interview and it's been a long time
since I've seen someone so photogenic.
- Really? - Yes.
I came in this way, I'll also leave.
And you should check on that cat, what it did in the litter box...
Is it a horse? Have a doctor take a look at it!
Miti? Miti died two weeks ago!
All the best and goodbye. See you again, God bless!
They all suffered after a Gemini boy, at some point in their lives.
I don't believe in zodiac signs.
Of course, but you have to make her believe that you believe.
They wanna know how you are.
They use any source of information, even the stars.
Why do they want to know?
So they can change you, exactly as they want.
- What do I do? - Follow your horoscope? No idea.
- Hello! - Hello!
- Lavinia Ignat, For the job interview. - "Job interview"?
Np clue, but your name sounds familiar.
Lavinia! I called you here.
- Oh, my goodness! - Oh, dear!
I've saw that you didn't pay Your utilities
You have to pay 175 bucks
Lavinia Ignat you should know
I'll pay you that for you
With whom do you shower, bitch?
Why do you shower for 175 bucks?
The water costs less Much more less
I still love you, Lavinia Ignat
You live on Magheru Boulevard, building 12
All right! It's okay.
It would sound better as a manea?
That's not the point. Come on, sit down.
Too many details. It might be illegal. Come on, we'll work on it.
Max! We have a problem.
Where were you? The girls are waiting.
Yes, I had some business to attend to. You're viral. Again.
- This is fake, right? It has to be. - No. Instagram is full of memes.
Who got to my mother's house? - A woman, you know.
- Sure. - Yeah.
Never mind. Ignore the subject until it passes.
The internet is forever.
Okay. Then I have to respond, but... I don't know what to say, because...
Well, ask mommy!
Yeah, very funny! Not at all. Man, I worked so hard on this brand!
I can't stand it when someone wants to ruin it...
- I just wanted to have influence. - I didn't like you at all before.
I found you revolting. But you are sensitive, with feelings...
Stop it, sensitive... what? Sensitive? Please, you're not helping. Come on!
Do I look sensitive? Because I wax?
What's to laugh?
WIMP
COMING BACK SOON, BABE?
- Adrian? - Yes?
Why is the best friend of my enemy texting you?
She probably wants me to fuck her again.
Why does she say: "Thanks for holding me this morning before you left
and made me oatmeal with currants and oat milk"?
- I have no idea. - You have no idea. Little Adi?
Meeting.
There is a phenomenon in a certain type of man
who falls madly in love and loses his minds.
Often, this type of man tells his girlfriend of only two months,
everything he talks about with his mates!
- How awful! - Horrible!
So I'll ask you just once:
Are you the wimp who fell in love with Lia and told her absolutely everything
with your heads on the pillow after having little sex?
- I'm sorry. - What?
I'm sorry!
I don't know what happened to me, but I see my whole life with her.
I got new channels of communication, understanding!
- Sick. - You gave her mom's number?
Yes. Anca asked for it, so she could talk to her.
I'll scold her. Man, you should see how I will scold her!
- Little Adi. - Yes.
How many times have you seen this woman?
Once. Yesterday she came over to watch a film.
I hope you did her before you chose the film.
We watched a series.
Smart! Short episode, in 30 minutes you get the final move.
- Yes. Except we both got caught. - What?
I know, but it was a cool series, about some serial killers
and we exchanged impressions to find the killer!
Episodes? Were there more before you fucked?
We didn't fuck anymore.
- He's infected. We've officially lost you. - No, that's not true. Or is it?
Yes! After everything I taught you,
you start having sensitive feelings, like that nerd said earlier!
Sorry, I won't do it again.
- What's that? - Nothing.
- Show me. - No.
- Give it here! - No! Wait!
"You were right, babes. Max is scolding me."
Can't you wait a second without giving her a real-time report?
- Yes, I think I've got a virus. - Good heavens!
What a wimp!
Listen, sorry. Do you think you could hit "send"?
She'll get angry with me if I don't answer!
Thank you.
- What will you do? - I have no idea.
- Your horoscope says you could... - Please, don't.
He's right. I'll infiltrate their gang and give the impression that I can change.
Damn! You win them over and destroy them from within.
That's it!
Shall we celebrate? I can't believe it!
What did I tell you, that "mommy's boy" is the greatest eek!
- What? - Get rid of hiccups.
No, eek!
- Girl! - Hold your breath.
Eek! When you're sick of a man! I can't believe that it worked.
- I don't think I've ever been so vengeful. - No, revenge is ugly.
We just give back a similar lesson from which one can learn and grow.
Let's see who'll listen to him!
- I'll hold the door for you, it's heavy. - Oh, how nice!
- Good day, ladies. - What do you mean?
What am I, your aunt? Get out of here!
- Another episode? - Shut up and kiss me!
Aren't you curious to see who the murderer is?
You're killing me, slowly! What's wrong with you?
Sorry, but...
The last time we had sex, you didn't have an orgasm and...
Now I feel a bit weird.
The first time is always difficult. We should try something new.
- Do you think so? - Yes.
Pull my hair.
Really? I can pull it.
- Ouch! No, let go of me! - Sorry!
Better... slap me.
- Are you sure? - Let me rephrase that.
You have my permission to treat me like a piece of trash.
Slap me. Hard!
- Harder. - Ouch!
- Forgive me! Sorry! - Grab me by the...
Yes. I think we need to find a safe word.
Something dubious.
- Iohannis? - Iohannis!
Spit on me! Are you spitting me against evil eye?
Okay, let's try something easier.
- Talk dirty to me. - Come over here, you bitch!
Of course it bothered me! Come on, mom!
You let those girls into your house? Take care, come on! I'll kiss you too.
- Geo, kisses! - Hi, Max! How are you?
- Fine. Thanks a lot for the tip. - You're welcome.
I told you that Bitcoin is the best. Made many people happy.
Some became millionaires. Maybe you will too.
- I'll stick to my dates. - Speaking of which.
I went out with a girl. I tried to explain to her what we do here.
- She didn't understand a thing. - It happens.
- Her loss, if you ask me. - Agreed.
Marketing, wow! I think it's a fantastic field.
It's very cool. I couldn't do what you do.
Well, yes. It's hard, that's true.
Building seems quite complicated to me.
Yes, it's like the first million. I'm joking.
The first block is harder to build.
After that, you get used to it, it becomes a routine.
You almost get bored.
I recharge with energy from beautiful people, like you.
I know that using the phone is a big "eek".
But I have to reply.
It's about a notice for a care home for children with special needs.
I think it's so nice...
- Anca? - No.
- What do you mean, no? - I'm not Anca.
Anca, we talked. Shall I call the prosecutor?
- The prosecutor? - Max, please.
Hello. Max. The ex. Sorry, mate, but the law is the law.
- What law? - Excuse me?
- You know it's my favorite spot. - Please, stop!
Yes, as you always ask me to pay your bail.
It's over between us! You piece of human filth!
- Hey! - Easy, please, Anca.
- He's joking, he's a child. - Yes, it's a child.
- In the middle. - Anca, please, let us live our lives.
I hope you're happy. Come on, good luck, she has crab lice.
Excuse me, please, two minutes.
What about Maxi?
- Aren't you even a little bit ashamed? - Take some.
- Calm down. - Well done!
The guru doesn't know that a woman gets more annoyed when asked to calm down!
I want to propose something.
A threesome. No, I'm joking, sorry. Forgive me.
Hurry up, I want to get back to my date.
I give you a chance to repair what you've ruined, my reputation.
My goodness, what a victim you are! And why?
I can help you find someone for the reunion.
And maybe get to know men better.
Thank you, but I can manage on my own.
Yes, he put his phone on silent... He keeps the screen facing down...
He's plays with his ring finger.
- Tanned with a wedding ring. He's married. - Stop with these sinister stereotypes!
Where's that whore? Damn you! Aren't you ashamed?
I'm at home and you're out here? Where are you? Which whore are you with?
I suppose we can try to see how it goes. Can we start tomorrow?
- The woman is a complete mess. - That's why she's alone.
She went to your mother's house. She's crazy.
Let's start the podcast. I have to get to a new party.
Come on.
Welcome to "Combinations, not relationships".
I'm joined by my friend, Ștefan.
Thanks, Max. And I think we need to clarify first
what's with the video from your mother's house.
It was made at my mother's house by some frustrated women.
- Led by that unfucked Anca. - Unfucked for now.
- Because you promised. - A promise is a promise.
And I promise that by the date this podcast is published,
Anca will be just a name in my notebook.
Which is perfectly fine. A tough catch, but still a catch.
We should be careful with him. He's still toxic, right?
- Yes. - Sorry, girls, queue at the café.
A matcha here, a matcha here and a more bitter americano, I think.
- Vanilla Sex, Tom Ford? - How did you know?
On you, it smells different, wasn't sure. Finish that cigarette, we have to run.
May I finish breakfast? It's seven, we've been waiting.
- Sorry, it won't happen again. - Very good, thank you.
You're welcome, coral suits you.
- Not at all! - God.
Well, if a man asks you how many other men you've been with, what do you say?
Include those two at the festival!
- One. - Twenty-five!
- In total? - I say it's none of his business.
I mean, why don't men get asked?
And why is it bad for women and they are judged?
Because men are hunters, need the most valuable prey possible.
The more she has been used before like a rag, the less valuable she is.
- Nonsense. - They don't want to be compared.
They could be stupider.
I tell them they were the best sex of my life.
- Smart. - Thank you.
- Then I tell them that I know what I mean. - We have a lot of work to do.
If a man asks,
you answer firmly with a number between two and five the maximum.
- Lia. - Do weekends count too?
- You say five. - I say we go back to the beginning.
What do men want from a woman?
Good question. Let's find out.
We men want respect.
We want to feel strong and protective.
Well then, why do you want to be held when sitting alone on the sofa?
Generational trauma. For when we get to more advanced courses.
No one can resist a photo of a puppy.
There, I've posted it. I think I've repaired your image.
Do they comment positively?
UGLY DOG! YOU HAVE MONEY! ADOPT!
- People are talking. - Engagement.
- Engagement... - Good, a lot of discussion.
Men need peace and quiet. They don't want you nagging them.
- If they don't do anything, what? - That's just the beginning.
After that, you have to be clever enough
to get them to do things without realizing.
Right, let's focus.
People want to see that you care, and that you're generous.
So I'll pick a cause for you and we'll post it.
#CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT TO EDUCATION.
YOU SCUM! AND THE ELDERLY?
YOUTH ISN'T CAPABLE ANYMORE
Men want to be asked for help.
"Darling, open this jar for me."
- If I can open it? - You're pretending.
On the first date, you must find something and get him to help you.
But I don't believe I can look so silly! How do you do it so easily?
"Will you help me too, please?"
I can't take it anymore!
And last, but not least... Men should be praised.
"How well you eat, you drink, you make love!"
Praise his sexual skills. "How well you run, how well you stretch!"
Whatever he does, no one else does it like him.
Absolutely unreal! But why would I do that?
Take it as a compliment.
When for a man a woman's opinion is so important, wouldn't you do it?
It's a game, you always have the next move.
Don't you want to be in control? Come on!
To which the bear asks: "Where's your tail?"
Perfect! Now laugh!
No! I have to believe you. The boys want to feel funny!
- Can't we find funny ones? - You don't appreciate him!
The first intimate gestures are very important.
Let the man make the first move.
He comes like this, you come closer...
- Max! - It was worth a try.
Come on, you're the boy. First move. The girl...
One more step. Now you.
Now you. Closer...
- Hello! Stop it! You're sick! - It was worth trying that too.
A gin and tonic for the lady.
"Lady"? But who do you think I am...
- I don't drink gin and tonic. - Then?
Say you that you drink Cava. And you touch him gently and laugh.
- Why? - Because you want to appear open.
- Why laugh? - We want to have a good time!
- Are you okay? - I'm very okay.
A Cava would be more appropriate?
- Sure. A Cava, please. - Laugh!
Easy, not desperate.
No, not your hand on the leg! It's a clear signal that you want sex.
You're crazy! You told me to touch him.
Leave this one and come with me home.
That's why.
Maximum on the forearm.
- Have you gathered enough material? - Yes, sort of.
But I find the girls likeable. They have potential.
Gangbang potential.
- And with Anca? - Up!
- It's okay. I mean... There's a bonding. - What do you mean?
She likes me because my presence annoys her.
I see.
The gang is cool, we laugh, we joke, I feel good.
- Down! - She put her pussy on your face. Admit it!
Boss, what's up? You were into fun, combinations, going out,
and now I hear "bonding"?
What happened to bukkake, the Eiffel Tower, the boys? Boss!
- I know. - Pick up the pace!
I don't want to see you sentimental, sensitive and with 22% body fat.
You skipped the gym.
- One day, mate, chill! - Cooldown!
Just like you care about me and put me in podcasts, I care too.
Don't be connected to what you feel.
That's how you get attached and end up suffering.
You know how it is.
That's right.
That's why men look for women who come quickly.
Because you don't want to work! No more dates for me.
- Just when we know what men want? - No more, that's it. I'm fed up.
I get what men want. How do they find out what we want?
We end up faking orgasms, relationships, for fear of being alone!
Yes, but it's simple for you.
You want to receive flowers, put on nice perfume
and let you squeeze a pimple.
- And let you pluck us. - Goodness, how superficial you are!
- Do you have something to pluck? - Thanks.
No, that's not what we want! We want you to listen to us.
- Yes, to understand us! - Yes, we want empathy!
- We want to trust you. - Be spontaneous and laugh together!
- To feel protected. - To team up and grow together.
And good sex! Not selfish sex!
I want to make up with Bogdan. I'm Pisces, he's Taurus, it'll work.
Yes, sorry, but no chance. I mean, I don't want to be the one,
but that man has no business with you.
- Man, you're cruel! - Is it my fault?
You filled her head with all that nonsense!
He doesn't want to call you. A man does everything when he wants a woman.
He's not "busy". Stop being naive!
What's wrong? What did I say? God, stop it! No, stop her!
I can't stop because I love him and nobody compares to him!
But... Why don't you hide your feelings, like we do? It's much healthier.
Maybe Bogdan is hiding his feelings for me.
No way! Give me that.
- File? - File.
Look, what can you see here? A glass.
- A screenshot... - Zoom in...
- Right, it's a reflection of... - Of a being, a creature.
Of a being, yes. Good. To the right, we see the bar's sign.
It's white and blue. "Eat..."
- Ramen. - So...
- We're looking for places with ramen. - Exactly. We look at the logo and bam!
He's at Gist. Likely with a woman.
- No way. - Sorry, but it's over.
When I thought you had no talent!
Tomorrow is the reunion. At least I can stay in a situationship!
It's a term we invented so we can get something on the side.
All right. Let's go there and see if you're right.
- Let's go. - If he says anything, I punch him.
Listen, but... Don't you have anything to say?
"The female must let the lion hunt other rabbits"?
- Any other rubbish like that? - No.
Both women and men need closure.
It's hard, but otherwise you can't get over it.
BRO, DO WE RELEASE THE PODCAST?
There he is! I can't.
- What a pig! - Is he with someone?
- Is she pretty? - No!
On the inside.
- The signal. - And the green light.
He sent me a text. "I'm thinking of you." What a jerk!
- He's sending me this? - He realized he loves you?
He needed someone to confirm that you're right for him.
- Do you think so? - No, he's a thug! What did I say?
She's gorgeous!
That's it. Bring make-up remover pads and moisturizing cream to prison!
Chill! That's the closure she needed, yeah?
It's over. It's like a tooth. Badly decayed...
It hurts when you pull it out, but tomorrow it'll be better. Come on!
I can't believe it. Damn it!
Honestly... I feel kind of bad.
I also get streaks under my arms if I put on deodorant too quickly.
What I was trying to say was... You're really good at this.
- Thanks. - The girls really are much better than...
What are you doing here? Are you on a date?
What? Me? Who is she?
Please, let's not have any lame fits in bars, okay?
She's having a breakdown, it's embarrassing.
There's really no point to fight over me and pull your hair out, OK?
Stop it, please, okay? Stop it, Vicky, can't you hear me?
Not my fault you're alone. Men are hunters. He has different needs.
- That's how it's always been... - Wait!
And because of that... When he finds the perfect woman, he retires in glory.
Yes, darling?
- Alpha Max? - Hey.
- Hello. - Max?
- You're good? - Yeah.
- Still...? - Sometimes.
Yeah.
We're fine here, we can retire. Good night. Come.
She's crazy! Not like you.
- Did you? - No.
Oh, my God! It was great!
- I've always wanted to do that! - Okay! Done!
- What, you don't like it? - He sent me a text.
"Are you coming with him to the reunion? He'll have a fit! Yes.
Thanks, Max.
Come on, I'm going to cry for two hours.
It's really sweet what you did for Vicky.
Since you've never been in a serious relationship.
Let's say I understand her. I had a relationship too.
In high school.
It was March the 8th and Chippendales came.
We went to the club.
They undressed, danced... They chose her.
It wasn't difficult, she wanted it vehemently.
She got on stage, started dancing, rubbing, covering herself in oil...
Everyone filmed me, laughed at me. It was something...
Then she said to me:
"You're too desperate. And women don't want that."
What then?
She said I use my tongue and fingers too much.
But, well... It was 2010, different times...
She left with one of them and I never heard again of her.
I was about 16 when I found out
that my father was selling his body for money.
Mom stayed silent so that we would have money to eat.
My father left my mother when I was five.
My mother told me I was allergic to strawberries so I've never eaten.
I found out last year she was lying.
My father left my mother and he said it was because of me.
- He told me I would end up a whore. - I was breastfed until I was five.
- I was left at my grandparents. - He beat me with a belt.
- Me, with the washing machine hose. - At least, you got a beating being clean!
See? It doesn't work. You said men should played with.
- Great! Contests for couples. - What will you do tomorrow?
I'll cry.
I have an idea.
The Uber's here!
- What? When did you call it? - When you weren't looking.
Well done! That's awesome!
I'M GOING TO A REUNION, DON'T RELEASE THE PODCAST.
- I wonder what the boys are doing now? - They're with some women, obviously.
- So, how much? - One million euros.
- And you, for how much? - To take it or give it?
- Take it. - One hundred million.
One hundred million to suck cock?
- They are not coming. - Yes!
Right, okay.
Welcome, children, to the ten-year reunion after finishing high school.
I'm glad to see my first graduating class.
I am also extremely pleased to see you again and my teachers.
Thanks to my geography teacher, who instilled in me a love of travel
and to the PE teacher to whom I owe this wonderful and absolutely fit body...
Look, dear, they're here!
Hello, you're not allowed to park your car in the schoolyard.
Where do you think you are? Who let you in? Mr. Costică?
Where's Mr. Costică, because I...
- Look at them. - I can't take it anymore!
- Yes, class mistress. - Thank you.
You're keeping yourself in such good shape!
Thank you very much. I have an ulcer. Let's go to the gym.
Make way...
Today, as you know,
we will choose the couple of the Class of 2015.
- Good luck! - Fine! Let's get started!
- The folk costume reinterpretation. - I've never done anything so embarrassing.
Come on!
- Aura! - I hope she doesn't win dressed like that.
- Maria Lătărețu is turning in her grave. - We came here to have a good time.
The cool guys aren't enough?
- Now you want to win? - Yes!
I want to beat her once, and see that unpleasant face
with those long legs and perfect tits fall, okay?
Lia! What poet was a doctor?
Come on, Lia...
- Bacovia. - All right, mate!
Wrong! Vasile Voiculescu.
- It's rigged! - It's the name of the school you're in.
You're disqualified, please, leave.
- Vicky! Muscles in the human body? - I knew it!
So we have biceps, triceps, and a pussyceps, there, ouch!
You never counted in the mirror?
- Fourteen! - My God! 500?
Right!
Class mistress, could you give me something a little harder.
The brain is a muscle too.
- Highest peak in Romania? - Moldoveanu, 2,544 meters.
Moldavian peak.
- Eftimie! - Yes?
- The Impaler's brother? - Radu the Handsome!
- Correct! - Yes!
- Little Alina? - Yes!
- Alina? - No!
Then shut up! Get out!
Little Alina! What color is the goat that is endangered in Romania?
- Black! - Well done, Little Alina!
Like me!
Next up... the dance! Let's see! Hop, hop!
- I had forgotten what a nerd you were! - Bogdan keeps looking at me and Max!
Move over a bit!
He's looking nasty! He's looking nasty!
- It must be the alcohol! - You drink two cocktails. Really?
- The sweet ones are the most dangerous. - What's wrong?
- Maybe you're not doing something right. - I tried all the moves.
I even used my other hand, even though one is enough.
I know and appreciate that, but... You're very hard to please.
Dance! Let's dance!
Dance!
He's my boyfriend!
That's me, bitches!
Let's see how well you know each other.
Excuse me!
- What is her favorite color? - Grej, obviously.
Grey, black. Something really sad.
- Pink! - Disqualified!
What "grej"?
You're always sad, you're so gloomy!
ALPHA MAX DESTROYED
Mr. Șutescu, when did you ask her to marry you?
- Really? - It was like we were on holiday...
I don't remember. I asked her, she said "yes", so...
Not cool.
- What's her favorite food? - Cigarettes with coffee!
So please, Mr. Star, refrain, so please, kindly.
Let's change the question.
What is her skincare routine? In the evening.
We don't have a winning couple.
A double cleanse with oil and then gel,
followed by toner, hyaluronic acid face serum, eyebrow gel,
anti-ageing mask, all Viorica products.
Because she only uses natural products, taken by Vicky, right?
- And a shot of collagen 21. - That's right, grade A.
That's right, grade A. You win.
Mrs. Sandu?
Thank you very much!
How I have longed for justice to be done in this life!
The couple of the year! I am so excited...
- "Combinations, Not Relationships". - Shut up, what's that?
- ...Ștefan. - Thanks, Max.
I think we need to clarify first the video from your mother's house.
It was made by some frustrated women, led by that unfucked Anca.
Unfucked yet, because you promised, right?
The promise remains a promise,
until the date of the release of this podcast,
Anca will be just another name in my notebook, by the way.
Which is perfectly fine, perfectly fair. A tough catch, but...
- Shit! - An unclaimed prize.
Hey, we need to talk! Please, stop listening!
Come here! Come on, talk to me!
They're struggling to find someone to go on the reunion...
- It's wireless. - Give me the phone!
- Stop! - You're rude!
Me? After what you've been doing? Can't you see he doesn't even want you?
It's a joke!
It's made with AI! Everyone knows...
One of his mates is clearly gay.
So imagine how far we've come in bringing men to their knees.
They complain that there are no real men!
You know what? Neither do I. And I'm very happy to be alone.
- Stop this nonsense! - If you don't hit him, I will...
- No! - Stop it!
Better idea!
You voted for Nicușor. Alpha Max is the man of the system!
Cover yourself! Stop deflowering around here!
Stop looking at her! Embarrassing.
- It's from the vaccine. - Really?
"How are the girls?"
Vicky! Hey, but you really have no sense of decency and common sense,
why are you looking?
Stop filming, can't you hear me? Stop it, leave me alone!
- She's showing her boobs! - You are so stupid!
No! Stop! They're not the ones who are frustrated!
If anyone here is frustrated, it's me, okay? And I'm sorry!
I made this when I was upset, it should never have been posted!
I feel really stupid! It's embarrassing, really! I'm sorry!
People make mistakes, guys!
Max is a man who learns.
He gave me the strength to acknowledge things that I'd never recognize!
And that is why, today, in front of you, I want to tell you...
- You don't have to! - Yes, I have to! I'm...
Bald!
For three years and I'm in a desperate situation!
I've tried all kinds of powder! I don't know if you see it.
- Can you see it? No! - No.
That's it!
Oh, dear!
- Let's go home, baby. - Cut the crap!
Damn it!
Alina?
- Anca? - Yes.
I broke a nail, ouch, ouch, ouch!
- That's why you cry? - I'm not.
Neither am I.
Well done!
- Did you see that I won? - I saw! Congratulations!
Thanks.
Iustin... he's not, actually, my boyfriend!
And why did you lie about having a boyfriend?
I didn't want to seem lonely and sad, which I'm not!
And I wanted to impress you!
Don't smile!
Why I care about what other people think of me?
Especially you! I'm single and happy!
Why are you crying?
He doesn't even know when he asked me to marry him.
Surely he has other qualities... Didn't you say he always comes back?
Anca!
What did I tell you? Men are rubbish and we shouldn't trust them!
I don't want to defend him, but you should know...
I'm not interested anymore!
I want to tell you that...
I was a complete idiot and I'm sorry!
I don't know why I care about what other people think of me!
Whether they think I'm fulfilled or not, if I'm the best or the worst!
The important thing is to be myself! I've been a pain in the arse, I'm sorry!
And I love you all so much!
It's really stupid that you did all this to impress that stupid Alina!
Besides her good looks, she has no qualities!
- She's not happy with that man of hers! - He's a douche!
Well, you can't be happy, it's just a bloody reunion!
So she's unhappy, broken and she has herpes too!
Alina!
- Do you really think I look good? - What can I do?
Come on, stop crying! Look, do you want to go shopping?
- No, I don't want to! - Then let's go for a drink!
I don't want that either!
I'm sick of men making fun of us!
- So you want us to make fun of them? - Yes, I do! I do!
- Treat them like rags? - Yes!
- Yes, let's put money in their knickers! - Yes!
- What? - Let's go to a strip club!
- Yes, let's go to a strip club! - Alina? Alina!
- To a strip club! - Striptease!
Striptease!
- Fifteen! Gin and tonic! - Hold on, girls!
Look how hunched over you are!
How wonderful it is to have lots of girlfriends!
Vicky, you need to dye your roots, look at how it looks.
For all the women who have realized that they don't need men to be happy!
- I'm getting a divorce! - Me too!
- You're not married! - I want to be happy.
- Anca opened my eyes! - Close them again!
You've just met this guy! You can't stay with him!
Strippers!
Alina!
Life is beautiful!
We have to wake her up!
Alina!
- Are you're sure? - It's here.
For this information, I declare you a non-wimp!
All right! Go on, win her back!
Okay...
- I tried, but if she's a slut... - Now don't be a wimp!
- What do you want? - A threesome!
- I apologize! - What?
- I said I apologize! - What?
I apologize, okay?
I heard you, but I wanted to see you squirm!
Hey, no way!
I'm proud of you.
- Come on, practice with me some more. - Okay.
Anca, I have this thing between my pectorals and upper abdomen...
Feelings! You have feelings, that's what you have. Come on.
Yes. But you?
- Wanna tell me something? - No.
- Not... yet. - When you feel like it.
- Is that alright, Max? - Oh, nice!
- Astrological chart! - Tag me!
Is the cake coming? I haven't eaten sugar since Thursday.
So? What's the problem?
The problem is that... I don't want to have sex.
I want us to make love.
Me too.
Happy birthday to you!
Nice design!
Thank you very much. It's a successful mold.
Happy birthday, honey!
No, thanks.
- Please! - Does it contain lactose?
- Yes. But I bought a larger litter box. - Okay. I deserved that.
And you deserve all the feelings I can give you...
Please.
- Mom! - Yes?
I'm going to show her the house!
- Maxi, I've done a little redecorating. - How little?
Maybe starting next time?
Yes.
What did I have to say to make us stop? Constantinescu? Băsescu? Iohannis!
Iohannis!
THE END
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