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[orchestral music]
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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[music fades]
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[somber music]
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[man] There were so many days
that I wanted
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this to be taken away.
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There's this story of
a man who was waiting
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at the Pool of Bethesda.
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He had something
wrong with him.
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[keyboard clacking]
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Many years earlier,
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an angel
had disturbed the water,
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and whoever touched
the moving water was healed.
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[keyboard clacking]
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That man sat by the Pool
for most of his life,
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waiting for the moving
of the water.
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[keyboard clacking]
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Waiting to be healed.
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[keyboard clacking]
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I think about that story a lot.
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What if the water never moved?
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[water sloshing]
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- [TV static]
- [woman on TV] A local wrestler
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could have used his physical
limitations to quit sports.
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Instead, he used it
to his advantage.
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[TV static]
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It's a remarkable
story of his refusal
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to let a rare birth
defect define him.
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[TV static]
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[man on TV] A genetic mutation
gave Ben Kjar
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a lifetime to make excuses.
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[TV static]
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[man 2 on TV]
This guy has made it
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to the pinnacle of the sport.
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[woman 2 on TV] I think he came
with that champion spirit.
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[announcer] World champion.
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- [man 3] A champion heart.
- [woman 2] Mm-hmm.
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- [man 3] That's what he has.
- [woman 2] It's a winning
attitude.
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[uplifting music]
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- [male voice] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
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- [male voice] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
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- [male voice] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
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- [male voice] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
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[cheering]
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[soft music]
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[Ben] My name is Ben Kjar.
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I didn't always tell my story.
I was afraid
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to tell my story, frankly.
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Even to this day,
I have friends...
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...that see my story...
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...they come back to me,
and they're like, "Ben,
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I didn't even know about this.
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I didn't know you
went through all this."
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And these are some
of my best buddies.
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But there were a couple people
I couldn't hide it from.
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[static]
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[rattling]
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In the late '70s and early '80s,
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my parents, you know,
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tried to make their way
through school,
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tried to start a family.
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[man] We've known
each other for a long time.
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[woman]
We met in the first grade.
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Miracle is she still married me.
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[laughs]
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The first three kids
were born fully healthy.
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[Stana] Amanda, Katie, and Luke.
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And then I came.
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- [somber music]
- [glitching]
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[Scott] When he was delivered,
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instead of being
a pink little baby,
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he was gray. Gray/blue.
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He was almost lifeless.
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I will never forget that.
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[Stana] He was struggling
very hard for every breath.
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[Scott] His eyes were bigger
than the other kids'.
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[Stana] He couldn't nurse and
breathe at the same time.
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[Scott] Stana had to feed him
with an eyedropper.
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Then one day when we woke up,
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his soft spot, or his fontanel,
was puffed.
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I was alarmed.
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[Scott] We got in right away
to see a doctor.
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[doctor]
Being a craniofacial surgeon,
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I get referred to those infants
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almost immediately,
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to ascertain whether there
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is some underlying problem.
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You could see, just based
on his clinical appearance,
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that Ben does have a diagnosis
of Crouzon's syndrome.
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Crouzon's disease,
a congenital deformity
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that causes the bones around
the brain to grow incorrectly,
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which, in turn, stops the
brain from growing properly.
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[Stana] When we called my
parents to tell them,
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"Surgery is set for this date,
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this is what's going
to happen,"
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I remember hearing
this strange noise
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on the other end of the phone,
and-- and I didn't understand
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what it was at first.
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And then I realized
that it was my father,
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and I had never heard
him cry like that.
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[melancholic music]
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We got to the hospital.
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[Scott] And this neurologist
said,
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"This is a serious surgery.
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This will take ten to 12 hours.
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I need to cut open his
skull, peel the skin back,
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cut the skull open, and move
the skull forward an inch."
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The little boy is
nine months old.
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[tense music]
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We go into the recovery
room, and he's crying.
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He had this big bandage
all over his head.
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His eyes were swollen shut.
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I mean, [stutters] it was like
his head was a balloon.
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He had a-- a inch gap all the
way across the top of his head.
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He still has a scar, to this
day, that goes from ear to ear.
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[Stana] But what I thought would
be a breakdown moment--
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not knowing if you're
capable of caring for a child
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after all that happens--
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the opposite occurred.
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I would take the
little soft tape
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and put it on his
little swollen eyelid,
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and put it up to his forehead
so that one eye was open,
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and he would start
giggling and laughing
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because he could see us.
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I had just a blanket
of warmth fall over me.
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Every day that he is with us,
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we'll do everything
we can for him.
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[heartwarming music]
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[music turns bright]
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[Scott] For the next two or
three years, we were okay.
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We had a family life.
We're raising children.
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[on video] Christmas Day.
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We had three more.
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[Stana]
Adam, Sharla, and Danner.
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You gotta get that elbow thing
right around by your-- oh.
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[laughs]
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[Scott] We moved back here
to Centerville
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'cause we were close
to our families.
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[Ben] It was probably
the perfect
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place for me to be raised.
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I had a lot of cousins, and
the majority of my family
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lived here in Centerville.
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[Scott] And all the cousins--
all the cousins
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turn around and
wave to the camera.
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- Wave.
- [kids] Hi!
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Hi, Daddy!
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All his cousins were an
incredible support to him,
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and he just lived
in that sphere.
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My name is Logan Essig.
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I am Ben's first cousin.
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He's been my best friend,
I don't know, my whole life.
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It was like Logan was
sent specifically for Ben.
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They were just kindred spirits.
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I mean, we had such a good time,
and he loved me for who I was.
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We'd see each other,
and it was just--
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we'd be screaming like, "Yeah,
we get to play." You know?
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We'd go outside.
We'd play basketball.
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Here's a good layup, look.
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[young Logan] Okay.
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Oh, that was a good layup.
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It didn't even occur to me that
Ben was viewed as different.
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Nobody else in the family did.
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They did not recognize that
he was different at all.
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In fact, some of my
younger kids could not
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figure out why Ben was
having these big surgeries.
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"What's the matter with Ben?"
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[Stana] He was getting to
the age where
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he realized people weren't just
looking at his whole family.
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They were looking at him.
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[projector clicks and whirs]
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If he was with family, he
could be as comfortable
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as a child could
be in his scenario.
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But when you're outside
that environment,
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he could feel it happening.
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And so he would start
drawing in and looking down.
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Ben?
Come out of the shadows.
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Come over here.
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[Scott] Let's see a big smile.
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[Stana] Many times,
Scott and I would lay awake.
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- We often wondered,
- [slides changing]
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how do you teach
self-confidence to someone
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that looks different?
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[solemn music]
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[Ben] Just down the street,
there was a family
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that moved in named the Clarks
and the youngest was named Nate.
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[Nate] Well, I grew up in
a household with
seven older brothers,
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these tough athletes and
always fighting and boxing
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and playing tackle
football with each other.
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Ben and I-- we were kinda
tied at the hip.
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We were just like,
"We wanna play."
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[Ben] All my buddies
played these sports.
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I remember going up to my
parents and saying,
"Hey, Mom and Dad,
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I know we just spent
a lot of money on a surgery.
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[chuckles] Can I go bang
my head with other kids?"
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[Stana]
But the doctors would say,
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"You know, you need to
limit some of his activity."
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[man] There was not a
long history of, "How do we
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deal with children
with craniofacial anomalies?"
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00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:06,214
Logic would say, "Well,
you treat them cautiously."
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00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:08,216
[Dr. Louis] I've had a lot of
patients with
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00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,044
similar conditions as Ben.
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Many of these kids wanted to
play football, contact sports,
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even wrestling,
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and I would advise
the parents against it,
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just because with head holds
and being hit in the face,
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I was worried that
he would re-injure
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his face after surgery.
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When I was told I couldn't
play, it was hard.
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It was really hard.
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Even though they said,
"No sports,"
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they were bound and
determined to help him
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00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,770
live as normal a life
as he possibly could.
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[Stana] Yeah, well, it says
"Record" on this.
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- [Scott] Does it say record?
- [Stana] Yes, it does. REC.
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There is Danner,
and there's Ben.
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00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:53,261
[indistinct chatter]
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00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,699
[Scott] And so we tried to get
him involved in lots of things,
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00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,440
along with all his
other siblings.
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W-- We didn't say, "Oh, you sit
over there in the corner
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00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,488
and just be yourself, and, you
know, you have problems."
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We didn't let him do that.
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00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,057
- All right, Ben.
- [girl] Go!
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00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,798
- It's scary.
- [Ben speaks indistinctly]
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00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,105
- Go, Ben.
- After you go, I'll go.
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00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,107
Ben, you're a wuss.
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My parents and my siblings--
they were incredible cuddlers,
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but they were not good coddlers.
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[boy] If you don't go then
I'm gonna push you off.
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- [indistinct shouting]
- [girl] Ben, go!
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[Ben] It was like, "We're not
gonna protect you with
bubble wrap."
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00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,688
Instead, they put
us in activities
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00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,038
to find something
I could find confidence in.
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00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,648
So you'd come home from school.
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I remember I'd just go
straight to his house
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and knock on his door and,
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"Hey, can Ben play today?"
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And it was always, "No,
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Ben has piano lessons."
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Like, it was just
always something.
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[instruments playing]
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[Ben] Orchestra.
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00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:45,530
[bright dancing music]
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00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,358
Dance.
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00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,100
Gingerbread Kids singing.
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[children singing]
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I mean, how uncool
is that, right?
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00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:55,976
I mean, you name it.
249
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,455
Even though I hated it.
250
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,241
So finally, I was just,
like, determined
251
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,808
to hang out with my
best friend. I was like,
252
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,418
"Well, I'll go to
Gingerbread Kids with him.
253
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:04,898
Like, what is Gingerbread Kids?"
And I got there...
254
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,813
[children singing]
255
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:10,338
And I was like, "What on Earth
is your mom having you guys do?
256
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:13,210
This is crazy. Like, I just
get to sign up for sports."
257
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,473
[Ben]
Well, that wasn't an option.
258
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,040
[Scott] Okay, Ben. Come on.
259
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,999
But they still wanted
me to find courage.
260
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,175
Something that I could
fall in love with.
261
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,350
[girl] Just jump!
262
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,484
- [kids] Yeah!
- [Stana] Hey...
263
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,444
[Ben] My friends, my siblings
were always strong.
264
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,228
[soft, bright music]
265
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:37,060
I knew that with them around
me, it's gonna be okay.
266
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:45,765
But one time, my parents let
me go to the store by myself.
267
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,507
I had picked out a candy bar,
268
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,510
and I'd sat there just feeling
like a king of the world.
269
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:53,729
[inaudible]
270
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,470
And the guy who
was in front of me
271
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,254
was this adult man
272
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,822
with his kids who
I'd never seen before.
273
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,216
He would look at me.
274
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,521
[somber music]
275
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:11,399
He grabbed his kids, pulled them
close to him, and pointed at me.
276
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:15,403
He said, "Hey, get behind me.
Hurry. Get behind me, kids.
277
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,710
Don't go near him, and don't
touch him 'cause he's probably
278
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:19,929
contagious."
279
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,327
And he got out to
his car like this,
280
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,416
like he was getting
away from a monster.
281
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:31,636
[deep rumble]
282
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,857
A lot of times,
I had been made fun of.
283
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:38,121
But it was when the
adults made fun of me,
284
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:39,862
that's when I just broke.
285
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,777
[somber music]
286
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,698
I would go home, and
I'd run in the bathroom,
287
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,920
and I'd slam the door and just
collapse against the wall.
288
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,923
- [door slams and echoes]
- [Stana] I went up and tried to
289
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,707
get in,
and he wouldn't let me in.
290
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,320
I couldn't imagine
what had just occurred.
291
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,323
I thought,
"I've gotta figure out a way
292
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,151
to physically take my face off.
293
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,372
I gotta figure out a way...
294
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,941
...to physically remove
the difference."
295
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:28,084
Luckily, my mom came in before
I made any... smart decisions.
296
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,653
[Stana] At first, he wouldn't
say anything,
297
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,135
and then he started saying
what had just happened.
298
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,878
Ben felt like he was
just broken and diseased.
299
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,272
[Ben] And she just
collapsed on me,
300
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,013
and she just bawled with me,
301
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,451
and I just told her
everything I was feeling.
302
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:53,283
It was the first time I had
ever heard him say, "Why me?"
303
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:59,115
Very quickly after that, my mom
304
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,161
put me in front of the mirror,
305
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,337
and she said something
that would affect me
306
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,816
for the rest of my life.
307
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:08,168
"Do you think this
challenge that is yours...
308
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,650
...came because God looked
the other way for a minute?
309
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,437
Do you think that
it's going to go away?"
310
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:19,962
[Ben] "You're gonna attract
attention just
311
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,529
because you
look different, Ben."
312
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,054
"Other people do a lot for
someone to notice them.
313
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,404
You know, they act out just
trying to get someone
314
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:28,840
to pay attention to them.
315
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,017
You know what?
That's not your deal."
316
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,628
[Ben] "You were born different,
317
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,978
so why don't you
make a difference?"
318
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,980
[Stana] "You're gonna
have to reach deep.
319
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:41,636
But since you are standing
out anyway...
320
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:43,681
...use it.
321
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:48,295
Use what you've been
made for, and stand out."
322
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:52,690
[music fades]
323
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,954
[heartwarming music]
324
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:01,569
[Ben] At the time,
the local high school
325
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:05,747
had a youth program called
Little Viking Wrestling.
326
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,662
All the youth in
the neighborhoods
327
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,012
and in the surrounding
area would come,
328
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,666
and they would match kids up.
329
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,234
And, like, once or twice
a week, they'd have
330
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,540
this practice that was
basically, like,
331
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,281
glorified babysitting.
332
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:21,241
And Bart Thompson
was the coach there.
333
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,506
[Bart] Viewmont High had had
some real serious success,
334
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:28,857
but... that had disappeared.
335
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,165
Not long before that, the--
the film Take Down had come out.
336
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,949
[bright music]
337
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:38,127
It was about an English teacher
who drew the short straw
338
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,955
and was told he had to
be the wrestling coach.
339
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,784
He had this odd
assortment of kids.
340
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,134
[Ed] Uh, winning
is not the only thing.
341
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:48,224
The main thing is,
uh... to have fun.
342
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,706
That was us.
343
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:55,797
We did not have a single set
of uniforms for everybody...
344
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,583
...and we struggled. [laughs]
345
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,194
[people cheering]
346
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,239
[whistle blows]
347
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:06,199
I knew that you've got
to have a program
348
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,809
before the high school
349
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,593
to have a shot.
350
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,206
[indistinct announcement]
351
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,773
[Ben] My older brother Luke
would go and wrestle
352
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,688
and compete
in this little league.
353
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,388
And I would feel the passion
cheering my brother on.
354
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,042
"Go, Luke! Go, Luke!"
355
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,131
[man] Get in there, Luke.
356
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:28,351
[Bart] Ben wasn't allowed to
be in the program yet.
357
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:32,529
But he was walking around while
the tournament's going on...
358
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,576
...and anybody he could go
over to the bleachers
359
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,534
and grab by the hand,
he would pull them out
360
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,059
onto the edge of the mats
and wrestle with them.
361
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,713
[indistinct chattering]
362
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,759
He did that through
the whole tournament.
363
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:47,109
I-- I'll bet he wrestled eight,
ten different kids...
364
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:49,894
...all of whom
were bigger than him.
365
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,420
[sobbing]
366
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,207
[Ben] And at the end of
the tournament,
367
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:01,558
Luke got a medal that was about,
like, the size of a penny.
368
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:02,690
[chuckles] Right?
369
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:05,475
And as he got this medal,
370
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,956
I was so mad
371
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,871
that I didn't get a medal.
372
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,352
I wanted a medal.
373
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,269
And I informed him
they have to be earned.
374
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,489
"You have to earn a medal, and
you weren't in the tournament."
375
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,230
But that was not...
376
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:24,059
...a satisfactory answer for me.
377
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,541
- I made such a scene.
- [static]
378
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,197
Finally, my mom went
up to Bart Thompson
379
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:35,940
and said, "How much do I have
to pay you for an extra medal?"
380
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:37,899
I said,
"I got him taken care of."
381
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,902
Picked him up, set him on
top of our award stand,
382
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,078
and awarded him
a special award for
383
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,906
wrestling the most
people that night.
384
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,083
[Ben] And he said,
"Congratulations, champ."
385
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:54,002
And that, like, gave me
a sample of what it was like
386
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,657
to feel... just, like, noticed.
387
00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:01,662
That's when we started
to see Ben just get a...
388
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,794
...fire in the gut that
takes him somewhere.
389
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,058
There was no doubt.
390
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:09,887
We knew right there we
couldn't limit him anymore.
391
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,633
Doctors hesitated,
but we weren't
392
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,158
going to live in fear
of what might happen
393
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,594
or what might not happen.
394
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:25,686
[Ben] After that, my parents
put me in everything.
395
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:28,950
I mean, you name it,
from indoor soccer...
396
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,691
[Scott] All right. Get up, Ben.
Hustle.
397
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,520
[Ben]
...to basketball, baseball.
398
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,218
[Stana]
He loved every sport he played.
399
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,483
We were just so happy
to see Ben smiling, you know?
400
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,224
Although I want you to know that
401
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,966
sometimes it was hard
to watch him do it.
402
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,794
[whistle blows]
403
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:50,537
It was hard because if
Crouzon syndrome wasn't enough
404
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:53,888
to go bang heads with
other kids, it was my size.
405
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,585
[coach speaking indistinctly]
406
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,156
I was the smallest dude
on the field by far.
407
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,679
[indistinct shouting]
408
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,902
I looked like Spaceballs in the
movie, with the huge helmets.
409
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,469
- [rattling]
- [panting]
410
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,340
I remember seeing it
on the field one day.
411
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:15,344
I saw the biggest on the
opposite team just hit him...
412
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,998
[man] Yeah! Keep going!
413
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,043
...and I remember him just
laying on the field
414
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,480
like-- you know? [chuckles]
415
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,091
And-- and I just thought,
"Wow...
416
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,919
...how many of those
are we gonna take?"
417
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:27,138
[indistinct chatter]
418
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:30,838
But I also had a-- a big heart.
419
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,406
- [indistinct chatter]
- [man] Go, go, go.
420
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:36,626
- [whistle blows]
- And so I would work hard.
421
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,802
[cheering]
422
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:44,373
I started gaining
confidence through sports.
423
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,114
[man over microphone]
Ben Kjar.
424
00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,334
[cheering]
425
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,251
[Stana] Are you gonna
do this again next year?
426
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:53,904
- Yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.
427
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,820
[bright music]
428
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,694
[Ben] I started to think in that
realm
429
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,609
when kids would bully me.
430
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,267
Like, for an example,
in elementary--
431
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,747
this had happened
numerous times.
432
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:15,230
There was a kid a couple
ages older than me,
433
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:20,453
and he would look at me and
literally, like, call me names.
434
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:23,107
And so he would just look at
me and be like, "Flat face.
435
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,239
Hey, flat face.
436
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,415
Everybody look at flat face."
437
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,898
I would think, late at night in
my bed, you know, cuddled up,
438
00:21:31,159 --> 00:21:32,552
"Why would he do that?"
439
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,207
The kid was bigger than me, and
I didn't feel like I could,
440
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,645
like, box him or beat him up.
441
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:43,563
But eventually I started to
think of ways to defend myself.
442
00:21:47,044 --> 00:21:50,004
And then the next morning
when he said, "Hey, flat face.
443
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:51,222
Look at flat face!"
444
00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:55,488
I remember thinking,
"I'm gonna do it this time.
445
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,316
I'm gonna do it this time."
446
00:21:58,491 --> 00:22:00,014
And I pointed at him.
I was like,
447
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:03,234
"Hey, round face.
Look at you, round face!"
448
00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:04,932
[inaudible]
449
00:22:06,281 --> 00:22:08,022
Ben's not very
good at being mean.
450
00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:11,591
[Ben]
Was that the best thing to do?
451
00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,288
A-- Absolutely, probably not,
452
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:15,725
but he kinda shut
his mouth after that.
453
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:18,554
[hands clap]
454
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:22,297
Ben's confidence grew in
every sport that he touched,
455
00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:26,388
but he truly got the
most out of wrestling.
456
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:29,260
And I think a lot of the reasons
for that came from Shandell.
457
00:22:30,871 --> 00:22:33,743
[Shandell] In high school,
Bart Thompson was my coach.
458
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:35,571
I won two state titles.
459
00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:38,226
Then I won a
Junior College National title.
460
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,403
[man] At that time,
Centerville Junior High School
461
00:22:41,577 --> 00:22:44,232
was the worst in the
district, the worst.
462
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:46,060
And all of a sudden,
my uncle walks out
463
00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:47,409
of the principal's office.
464
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:48,889
I'm like, "What are
you doing here?"
465
00:22:49,063 --> 00:22:50,456
'Cause he was just
barely out of college.
466
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:55,722
He says, "I'm your new wrestling
coach," and it just lit me up.
467
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,290
[Shandell] I was the head coach
here at the junior high,
468
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:01,336
and I was the assistant
at the high school.
469
00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:06,036
People think that all we had to
do was build the fundamentals
470
00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:08,256
and build the excitement
for our sport.
471
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,866
But a lot of the
coaches are going
472
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,652
to be teaching the
same techniques.
473
00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:14,697
There's all sorts of
foundational
474
00:23:14,871 --> 00:23:16,960
or fundamental
techniques that you teach.
475
00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:19,659
[man on TV] There are a variety
of ways to score in wrestling.
476
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:23,053
Every move a wrestler makes
contributes to scoring points
477
00:23:23,227 --> 00:23:25,447
or preventing their
opponent from doing so.
478
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,622
[whistle blows]
479
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:30,452
[man 2 reads]
480
00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:32,280
[whistle blows]
481
00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:34,935
[man 2 reads]
482
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:38,982
[Shandell] Where the secret is,
is we teach the young men to,
483
00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:41,289
ultimately, stay
away from the things
484
00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,596
off the mat that
will make them weak.
485
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:46,120
You've got to stay away
from the bad pictures.
486
00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:48,078
You got to stay away
from the bad movies.
487
00:23:48,339 --> 00:23:50,298
You got to stay away
from drugs, alcohol.
488
00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:52,082
This is your recipe for success.
489
00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:04,530
He was teaching boys to be
men, and not just good men,
490
00:24:04,704 --> 00:24:05,879
but great men.
491
00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:10,927
I realized early on that Ben's
opportunities may be limited,
492
00:24:11,841 --> 00:24:15,715
and so we spent maybe
a little extra time
493
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:20,328
as he started wrestling because
early on, there was no success.
494
00:24:20,937 --> 00:24:22,722
- [playful music]
- [whistle blows]
495
00:24:23,636 --> 00:24:26,682
[Dr. Gregory] They had the state
freestyle tournament.
496
00:24:26,856 --> 00:24:30,207
Ben, who was in elementary
school, said, "What the heck?
497
00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:32,035
I-- I wanna go up
and wrestle, too."
498
00:24:33,950 --> 00:24:36,213
He came away with the
third place medal,
499
00:24:36,387 --> 00:24:39,260
and he was just beaming
from ear to ear.
500
00:24:40,435 --> 00:24:43,177
He didn't know that there was
only three guys in his weight.
501
00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:45,875
I don't think he won a match.
502
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:50,184
[Shandell] The challenges that
he was faced with...
503
00:24:51,054 --> 00:24:53,970
...would have... caused
anybody, I think,
504
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:57,539
to just absolutely...
you know, fold up shop.
505
00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,106
[melancholic music]
506
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:03,371
He was at a fundamental
disadvantage in many ways.
507
00:25:04,111 --> 00:25:06,722
Shorter than almost
every opponent.
508
00:25:06,983 --> 00:25:09,290
Small hands, short limbs.
509
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:12,336
It was painful
because his teeth were
510
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:15,209
so packed in, and the braces
and everything that he had.
511
00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:19,735
His mouth was largely bleeding
in almost every single match.
512
00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:23,086
[Bart] Maybe the best way
to say it is,
513
00:25:23,347 --> 00:25:25,959
"You've probably got more
athletic ability
514
00:25:26,307 --> 00:25:28,091
in that much of your
little finger
515
00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:29,658
than Ben had in his whole body."
516
00:25:31,181 --> 00:25:33,967
[Shandell] Kids would go out
and just push him around
and thump him.
517
00:25:34,315 --> 00:25:37,623
There were many times where
he would come off the mat...
518
00:25:38,841 --> 00:25:40,060
[chuckles]
519
00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:42,715
[voice breaking]
...fall at my feet...
520
00:25:44,064 --> 00:25:45,239
[sniffles]
521
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:49,765
...and just cry.
522
00:25:57,904 --> 00:26:01,342
And my sister,
she'd let me have it.
523
00:26:02,169 --> 00:26:03,953
"I can't believe you're
doing this to my kid.
524
00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:06,260
Is this good?
Is this bad?
525
00:26:06,434 --> 00:26:07,609
Is this--" Whatever.
526
00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:09,742
- [woman] Shoulders up!
- [whistle blows]
527
00:26:09,916 --> 00:26:11,787
[Stana] In my heart, I knew
528
00:26:12,135 --> 00:26:14,007
there are hard things
that happen
529
00:26:14,398 --> 00:26:16,270
that you really learn from.
530
00:26:16,531 --> 00:26:18,272
[indistinct chattering]
531
00:26:18,446 --> 00:26:21,405
So we just prayed
often as a family.
532
00:26:24,844 --> 00:26:26,193
We hoped that that helped him.
533
00:26:26,976 --> 00:26:28,804
[indistinct chattering]
534
00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:31,067
[woman] I was talking to him,
and he said, "Do you know what?
535
00:26:31,241 --> 00:26:33,026
I could never lay on my back."
536
00:26:33,809 --> 00:26:36,116
I said, "What are you
talking about?" He said,
537
00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:41,208
"I have had every sport
outgrow me except for wrestling.
538
00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:44,211
So I have to do well.
539
00:26:44,559 --> 00:26:48,171
The thought of my shoulders
touching a mattress or a mat
540
00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:50,173
is something that
I don't wanna feel."
541
00:26:51,871 --> 00:26:54,700
[Shandell] For him to want
something so bad...
542
00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:57,572
...that's building character.
543
00:26:57,877 --> 00:26:59,618
That's what's
gonna make him great.
544
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:03,273
[playful music]
545
00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:08,017
In junior high I was the
lightest weight, 78 pounds,
in seventh grade.
546
00:27:08,322 --> 00:27:12,456
Ben, soaking wet,
was not close to 78.
547
00:27:12,848 --> 00:27:14,502
And wrestling is a true sport.
548
00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:17,244
It's not the coach saying,
"You're varsity, you're JV."
549
00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:18,637
We have wrestle-offs.
550
00:27:18,811 --> 00:27:19,812
You compete
against the guys that
551
00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:21,640
are your size, your weight,
552
00:27:21,814 --> 00:27:24,425
and the winner gets varsity,
and then the next gets JV.
553
00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:29,256
But he had not been able to
beat Zac Morby, his teammate,
554
00:27:29,430 --> 00:27:30,736
his drilling partner.
555
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,738
[announcer]
In fourth place, Zac Morby
556
00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:33,956
of Northside.
557
00:27:34,478 --> 00:27:35,958
[Zac] I was quicker than Ben.
558
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:37,917
I felt like I was a better
technician than Ben.
559
00:27:38,091 --> 00:27:42,095
And so we wrestled off every
week for that entire year
560
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:44,880
for the varsity spot,
and I won all the time.
561
00:27:45,141 --> 00:27:46,490
[people cheering]
562
00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:48,362
The varsity guys had, like,
the cooler warm-ups
563
00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:50,277
and all that stuff.
564
00:27:50,451 --> 00:27:51,495
[whistle blows]
565
00:27:51,974 --> 00:27:53,584
[Ben] And that meant
that I had to wear
566
00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:56,065
the old, worn-out singlets
567
00:27:56,239 --> 00:27:58,589
[chuckling] that were way
too baggy for me, right?
568
00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:00,504
Looked like I was
wearing a parachute.
569
00:28:02,506 --> 00:28:05,422
But there was something else
way worse than baggy singlets.
570
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,163
[deep rumble]
571
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:11,559
As we would go to roll out the
mats and get ready to warm up,
572
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:14,083
we would always pass
by the cheerleaders.
573
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:15,606
[melancholic music]
574
00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:20,699
And numerous times them
seeing me, these girls,
575
00:28:21,134 --> 00:28:23,876
and them laughing, snickering
in groups of three or four
576
00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:25,051
and pointing at
me and being like,
577
00:28:25,225 --> 00:28:26,574
"Ah-ha, that's your boyfriend.
578
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,054
- That's your boyfriend."
- [echoing chuckles]
579
00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:30,970
Like, I would be the last
thing that they would ever
580
00:28:31,144 --> 00:28:32,406
want in their life.
581
00:28:33,537 --> 00:28:35,061
[indistinct shouting]
582
00:28:36,627 --> 00:28:40,066
And then going out and
performing on the same mat
583
00:28:40,327 --> 00:28:41,676
as them cheering.
584
00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:43,199
[indistinct shouting]
585
00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:46,594
And every single time before
a big performance,
586
00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:48,596
something like
that would happen.
587
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:50,206
[indistinct chanting]
588
00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:53,688
My biggest fear was,
"Could I be loved?"
589
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:56,430
People would say, "Hey,
is that kid that kind of
590
00:28:56,604 --> 00:28:57,561
looks like Quasimodo,
591
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:58,780
is he on your team?"
592
00:28:59,607 --> 00:29:03,089
[Shandell] Every away match,
so many people thought...
593
00:29:04,264 --> 00:29:06,614
...that he was mentally
handicapped, too.
594
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,660
It was... crushing.
595
00:29:11,184 --> 00:29:12,838
[Ben] You know, in football,
I could hide behind a mask,
596
00:29:13,664 --> 00:29:14,927
but not in wrestling.
597
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,103
Everyone saw who you were.
598
00:29:18,539 --> 00:29:20,715
I said, "Hey, pal,
use it as venom."
599
00:29:20,889 --> 00:29:22,761
[music turning dramatic]
600
00:29:24,153 --> 00:29:26,373
"Let it be the venom
that drives you."
601
00:29:29,942 --> 00:29:32,596
[man] Ben and Zac and I were
weightlifting partners.
602
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,555
You know, we went to the gym
on our own.
603
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,210
But Ben always took
that to a higher level.
604
00:29:37,384 --> 00:29:38,864
It was, "How much more
weight can I push?
605
00:29:39,038 --> 00:29:40,300
How much faster can I run?
606
00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:42,171
I mean, there was
never a let-up.
607
00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:46,132
If Ben was ever losing a
match, I would go like this.
608
00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:48,961
And it meant,
"wipe off the crybaby face,
609
00:29:49,265 --> 00:29:50,614
and get back to work."
610
00:29:52,312 --> 00:29:54,140
I saw his faith,
his confidence,
611
00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:56,142
his conditioning grow.
612
00:29:57,143 --> 00:30:00,276
I loved it...
because it was just me.
613
00:30:00,711 --> 00:30:03,366
I can control how many
repetitions I did.
614
00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:06,717
I can control if I show
up early or leave late.
615
00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:09,720
I can control my attitude.
616
00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:10,983
[shouting]
617
00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:14,334
I had waited my entire life
618
00:30:14,508 --> 00:30:16,336
to have control over something,
619
00:30:16,510 --> 00:30:19,643
and I finally felt like I had
that in a sport like wrestling.
620
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:20,862
[uplifting music]
621
00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:24,823
[Shandell]
At the end of the season, we
have a qualifying tournament,
622
00:30:24,997 --> 00:30:26,825
the South End
Wrestling Tournament,
623
00:30:26,999 --> 00:30:29,523
where each school gets
to bring two wrestlers.
624
00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:31,786
So I got to bring
both Zac and Ben
625
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,353
and enter them in the
same weight class.
626
00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:35,268
They were on the opposite
sides of the bracket.
627
00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,183
They ended up meeting
in the finals.
628
00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:39,446
[announcer] At 78 pounds,
629
00:30:39,707 --> 00:30:42,405
from Centerville Junior High,
we have Zac Morby,
630
00:30:42,579 --> 00:30:45,017
and also from Centerville,
we have Ben Kjar.
631
00:30:45,191 --> 00:30:46,714
It seemed like
even though I felt
632
00:30:46,888 --> 00:30:48,803
like I was faster, you know,
probably more technical,
633
00:30:49,151 --> 00:30:51,066
I felt like I was just
wrestling to hang on.
634
00:30:51,632 --> 00:30:53,721
He was just so mean.
635
00:30:53,939 --> 00:30:56,028
[intense music]
636
00:30:58,073 --> 00:30:59,945
It was a different
feel, for sure.
637
00:31:01,642 --> 00:31:03,470
[cheering]
638
00:31:03,774 --> 00:31:06,038
And it was not a close match.
639
00:31:07,169 --> 00:31:08,779
- [whistle blows]
- [cheering]
640
00:31:08,954 --> 00:31:11,130
Ben ended up, like, pinning
me in the second round.
641
00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:13,175
[cheering]
642
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:15,264
At that time, I was like,
"I don't wanna be JV.
643
00:31:15,438 --> 00:31:16,439
That's not good."
644
00:31:17,136 --> 00:31:19,399
I was worried about losing
the cooler warm-ups,
645
00:31:20,052 --> 00:31:22,445
and Ben was just like--
he didn't care about that.
646
00:31:22,619 --> 00:31:24,360
He was like, "Whatever.
I got the varsity spot,
647
00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:26,362
Zac, keep the warm-ups.
I don't even want 'em."
648
00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:27,973
[uplifting music]
649
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:30,540
[Shandell] Then they were able
to go to the
650
00:31:30,714 --> 00:31:31,802
district championship.
651
00:31:32,281 --> 00:31:34,022
[cheering]
652
00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:37,591
During that tournament,
little tiny Ben,
653
00:31:37,765 --> 00:31:40,289
still probably eight pounds
under the lowest weight,
654
00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:44,119
got to the district
championship, the finals
655
00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:47,906
of all of Davis County, and
wrestled this big ninth grader
656
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,646
that also weighed 78 pounds.
657
00:31:50,996 --> 00:31:52,693
[Zac] His name was Blake Isom.
658
00:31:52,867 --> 00:31:55,522
He won the district
tournament the year before.
659
00:31:55,739 --> 00:31:57,741
- [indistinct announcing]
- [whistle blows]
660
00:31:58,264 --> 00:32:00,135
[Shandell] This big ninth
grader probably cut weight
661
00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:03,008
down from 88 pounds down to 78.
662
00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:04,923
Given the history,
we didn't expect
663
00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,881
to even be close in that match.
664
00:32:07,534 --> 00:32:09,449
I just didn't think
I could handle it.
665
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,277
[chuckles] In my opinion,
666
00:32:11,451 --> 00:32:12,887
I thought it was gonna
be no competition.
667
00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:15,934
- [whistle blows]
- [shouting and cheering]
668
00:32:19,111 --> 00:32:20,808
But then he gets an escape.
669
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,419
[clapping and cheering]
670
00:32:23,593 --> 00:32:25,769
And then all of a sudden,
it was like, "Holy cow,
671
00:32:26,031 --> 00:32:27,162
he could actually
stay in the match
672
00:32:27,336 --> 00:32:28,947
and have an opportunity to win."
673
00:32:30,687 --> 00:32:33,603
[Shauna] I remember sitting
with Stana on the bench,
674
00:32:33,908 --> 00:32:36,998
and it was to
the point where if...
675
00:32:37,477 --> 00:32:39,131
...the ninth grader escaped,
676
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:41,133
then Ben would lose.
677
00:32:41,394 --> 00:32:43,396
[shouting]
678
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:44,701
[whistle blows]
679
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:50,185
And Stana just calling out,
"Reach deep, Ben.
680
00:32:50,359 --> 00:32:51,578
Reach deep."
681
00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:53,667
[Stana]
Reach deep, Ben. That's it.
682
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,757
Reach deep, Ben.
That's good.
683
00:32:57,366 --> 00:32:59,064
Come on, Ben! Come on!
684
00:32:59,499 --> 00:33:02,328
Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
685
00:33:02,502 --> 00:33:04,721
[Shauna] And that is exactly
what he did.
686
00:33:04,895 --> 00:33:06,071
[Stana] Way to go, Kjar!
687
00:33:06,245 --> 00:33:07,507
[cheering]
688
00:33:07,681 --> 00:33:08,856
Come on, hold on.
689
00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:12,381
- [buzzer]
- [cheering]
690
00:33:15,776 --> 00:33:17,256
[Shandell] That was
one of his most
691
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:19,519
gritty turning points
in his life.
692
00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:21,651
[cheering]
693
00:33:26,874 --> 00:33:30,225
Nobody in the grocery
store, no mean kid
694
00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:32,358
can ever take that
away from you.
695
00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:34,055
[inaudible]
696
00:33:36,101 --> 00:33:39,147
And you look back and say,
"Okay, th-- that was worth it."
697
00:33:41,193 --> 00:33:44,674
After that...
he was a confident boy.
698
00:33:45,284 --> 00:33:46,502
["Adaptation" by
Brett Belote plays]
699
00:33:46,676 --> 00:33:49,418
That gave me such... swagger.
700
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:51,507
♪ I'm ready to go get it
Like a Labrador ♪
701
00:33:51,942 --> 00:33:53,509
♪ Dog day's done and I'm
Tired of the tug of war ♪
702
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:55,729
When you think of
the glory sports,
703
00:33:55,903 --> 00:33:58,471
wrestling does not normally
come to the top of mind.
704
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:00,603
You're stripping
off your clothes
705
00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:02,083
and getting down
into your singlet.
706
00:34:02,257 --> 00:34:03,693
You're wrestling around
with another man.
707
00:34:03,867 --> 00:34:05,086
That's not something most
people are like, "Dude,
708
00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:07,001
this is the most
glorious sport ever."
709
00:34:08,611 --> 00:34:11,788
Ben somehow turns it into
the coolest thing ever.
710
00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:14,704
[Ben] I started to make
friends.
711
00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:16,402
I can do this.
712
00:34:17,925 --> 00:34:20,710
I remember my first day at
Centerville Junior High.
713
00:34:20,884 --> 00:34:22,060
I was brand new.
714
00:34:22,234 --> 00:34:23,887
It was scary going
to a new school.
715
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:28,283
And I saw this little
short boy [laughs]
716
00:34:28,457 --> 00:34:30,546
with a little strut
walking down the hall.
717
00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:35,377
And he had this entourage
of people behind him.
718
00:34:36,944 --> 00:34:39,381
He just had this
confidence that was insane.
719
00:34:40,991 --> 00:34:43,777
As I looked at him,
he goes, "Hey, what's up?"
720
00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:48,216
[laughs] And the first thought
that came to my mind was,
721
00:34:48,390 --> 00:34:50,523
"Wow, he's a cool kid." [laughs]
722
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:54,396
[Stana] At that point,
723
00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:57,704
when people said
something mean about his face,
724
00:34:57,878 --> 00:35:02,230
I also saw the metamorphosis
for Ben to know how to react.
725
00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:07,627
Rather than just retaliate
with another negative comment,
726
00:35:07,844 --> 00:35:09,846
he went to humor, often.
727
00:35:11,979 --> 00:35:14,895
One day, some neighbor
girls were in the park.
728
00:35:15,852 --> 00:35:17,767
[Nate] We were out jumping
on our trampoline.
729
00:35:18,072 --> 00:35:21,031
And he was singing, "The
sun will come out tomorrow.
730
00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:23,382
I love you. I love you."
731
00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:28,126
[Stana] And Nate said, "Hey...
732
00:35:28,778 --> 00:35:30,693
...Ben wants
you to be his girlfriend."
733
00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:31,999
[laughing]
734
00:35:32,304 --> 00:35:33,914
They just started
laughing and saying
735
00:35:34,088 --> 00:35:35,524
that he had a weird face and he
was ugly and there was
736
00:35:35,698 --> 00:35:36,699
no chance.
737
00:35:38,048 --> 00:35:40,616
[Stana] Ben piped up and said,
"Well...
738
00:35:41,443 --> 00:35:43,228
...I'm not giving up on you,
babe."
739
00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:45,012
[laughs]
740
00:35:47,275 --> 00:35:48,972
[Nate] And the funny thing
was is he ended up
741
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,279
kissing one of those girls
a couple years later.
742
00:35:53,325 --> 00:35:55,762
[man] First time I met Ben was
at a wrestling tournament.
743
00:35:56,066 --> 00:35:57,024
I'd never seen anybody
744
00:35:57,198 --> 00:35:59,026
that had a face like his face.
745
00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:02,247
He had his singlet on,
and he had some thermals on
746
00:36:02,421 --> 00:36:03,552
under his singlet.
747
00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:05,250
[indistinct announcements]
748
00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:07,034
I mean, I was like,
"I'm gonna kick this kid's butt.
749
00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:08,862
Like, he has no idea
what he's doing.
750
00:36:09,036 --> 00:36:11,604
Why is he wearing thermals
on under his singlet, right?"
751
00:36:12,126 --> 00:36:13,649
[whistle blows]
752
00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:17,610
[shouting]
753
00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:21,440
And then he kicked my
butt in a wrestling match.
754
00:36:21,614 --> 00:36:23,181
[whistle blows]
755
00:36:23,355 --> 00:36:25,531
And I was like, "Dude,
that kid is freaking tough."
756
00:36:25,705 --> 00:36:28,534
Ben significantly
improved very quickly.
757
00:36:29,491 --> 00:36:30,971
By the time he went
to a high school,
758
00:36:31,145 --> 00:36:33,800
the question is gonna be
how far he could potentially
759
00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:35,236
push himself.
760
00:36:37,586 --> 00:36:38,892
[solemn music]
761
00:36:39,284 --> 00:36:41,199
[news host] Viewmont High School
is 53 years old.
762
00:36:41,416 --> 00:36:43,418
It's home to 1800 students.
763
00:36:44,941 --> 00:36:47,944
[Ben] After years of
junior high, other people
764
00:36:48,118 --> 00:36:49,946
become accustomed
to seeing you.
765
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,211
But when I went to high school,
it-- it wasn't that.
766
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,824
[man] Coming from the junior
high in the wrestling room,
767
00:36:57,998 --> 00:37:00,087
for sure,
people underestimated him.
768
00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,610
The first day when he walked
in the room
769
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,046
and people didn't know him,
770
00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:05,919
you know, they would have
ma-- made some judgments
771
00:37:06,093 --> 00:37:07,486
like anybody would, right?
772
00:37:07,747 --> 00:37:10,315
That meant he had to
kinda step it up a notch.
773
00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:13,622
[man on TV]
This is the NCAA Division I
774
00:37:13,796 --> 00:37:15,145
Wrestling Championships.
775
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,495
[Scott] We wanted to help him,
776
00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:18,758
so we went
to the NCAA Wrestling
777
00:37:18,932 --> 00:37:20,803
Championships for
the first time.
778
00:37:20,977 --> 00:37:22,196
[solemn music]
779
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,459
When he saw those
men up on the podium...
780
00:37:25,808 --> 00:37:27,810
...I could see him li--
staring like this.
781
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:29,899
And I looked at him,
and I said, "Ben...
782
00:37:30,639 --> 00:37:33,773
...you belong on that podium."
783
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,606
[Ben] And he told me...
I could be an All-American.
784
00:37:42,172 --> 00:37:44,087
And I would believe
that I could do it.
785
00:37:44,958 --> 00:37:47,743
He nodded his head
and said, "Yeah, Dad...
786
00:37:48,962 --> 00:37:50,572
but you've gotta pay the price."
787
00:37:51,007 --> 00:37:52,661
[uplifting music]
788
00:37:54,489 --> 00:37:56,056
[Shandell] We wanted to start
getting him
789
00:37:56,230 --> 00:37:57,405
additional training.
790
00:37:57,797 --> 00:37:59,929
And it just so happened
that Greg Williams
791
00:38:00,234 --> 00:38:03,150
started an Elite Wrestling Club
792
00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:05,195
for the kids
here in Northern Utah.
793
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,763
[Greg] I said,
"I'm gonna pick ten kids
794
00:38:07,937 --> 00:38:09,417
that wanna get to the
college level.
795
00:38:09,591 --> 00:38:10,505
It doesn't matter how
good they are now,
796
00:38:10,679 --> 00:38:11,985
as long as they work hard."
797
00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:13,726
- [indistinct chatter]
- Ben stood out.
798
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:16,859
This kid is so hungry. You could
tell by how he wrestled.
799
00:38:17,033 --> 00:38:19,209
But I'm like, "Okay, here are
some things he needs
to work on."
800
00:38:19,384 --> 00:38:22,691
And-- and Ben is not somebody
who you teach him something,
801
00:38:22,865 --> 00:38:24,998
and he just picks
it up super fast.
802
00:38:25,172 --> 00:38:27,740
Ben pounds and
pounds and pounds.
803
00:38:27,914 --> 00:38:31,265
He grinds it out, and he
gets it down by working hard.
804
00:38:32,614 --> 00:38:34,573
I can't count the number
of nights...
805
00:38:35,095 --> 00:38:37,924
I finally had to go in and lock
the wrestling room up
806
00:38:38,098 --> 00:38:39,969
and chase him out to go home
807
00:38:40,535 --> 00:38:42,145
because he'd
still be there working.
808
00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:45,975
[Ben] I had some high goals.
809
00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:47,673
My parents came to me.
810
00:38:47,847 --> 00:38:48,761
They said they were buying me
811
00:38:48,935 --> 00:38:49,936
a letterman's jacket,
812
00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:52,678
which... was a lot of money.
813
00:38:53,069 --> 00:38:54,984
I remember
telling my parents,
814
00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:56,203
"Mom, Dad...
815
00:38:56,986 --> 00:38:58,684
...I got my last patch I want."
816
00:38:59,032 --> 00:39:01,034
It said "3XSC."
817
00:39:01,426 --> 00:39:04,167
Three-time state champion.
818
00:39:04,864 --> 00:39:06,387
[Stana] It's one thing
to set a goal
819
00:39:06,561 --> 00:39:08,258
in the corner of your room.
820
00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:11,392
It's another thing to stick
it on your letterman jacket
821
00:39:11,566 --> 00:39:13,220
where everyone
can make fun of you
822
00:39:13,394 --> 00:39:14,743
if you don't reach it, right?
823
00:39:14,961 --> 00:39:16,310
I mean, that was one, you know,
824
00:39:16,484 --> 00:39:17,920
I think Wade and I,
we all kinda like...
825
00:39:18,094 --> 00:39:20,009
[mutters] Kinda-- you know?
826
00:39:20,923 --> 00:39:22,882
At the time,
it was unheard of to have
827
00:39:23,056 --> 00:39:24,666
a three-time state champion.
828
00:39:25,014 --> 00:39:26,668
[Wade] It's not shocking
coming from Ben,
829
00:39:26,842 --> 00:39:29,149
confidence that can,
you know, maybe be
830
00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:32,152
misconstrued as
arrogance or-- or cockiness.
831
00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:36,243
[Ben] 3XSC.
832
00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:37,897
I wrote that everywhere.
833
00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:41,030
Just shy of tattooing it
on my forehead.
834
00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:43,642
I started noticing when
he would sign his
835
00:39:43,816 --> 00:39:45,774
bout cards, uh, at tournaments.
836
00:39:45,948 --> 00:39:48,386
Well, he'd sign it,
"Ben Kjar 3XSC."
837
00:39:49,038 --> 00:39:50,431
This is when he was a sophomore.
838
00:39:51,127 --> 00:39:53,869
[Hadyn] We've all had doubt,
but I think Ben was just like,
839
00:39:54,043 --> 00:39:55,828
"Hey, I'll show them."
840
00:39:56,437 --> 00:39:57,743
- [woman] There's Mom.
- Hi, there.
841
00:39:58,047 --> 00:39:59,571
We're going to Ben and Luke's
wrestling match
842
00:39:59,745 --> 00:40:01,311
in-- at Cottonwood.
843
00:40:01,486 --> 00:40:03,966
Anybody that had any
doubts or any worries,
844
00:40:04,184 --> 00:40:07,187
he took that out of
them by his performance
845
00:40:07,361 --> 00:40:08,536
in an awfully big hurry.
846
00:40:09,058 --> 00:40:10,408
[announcer]
847
00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:16,762
[Logan] You know, he was a bit
of a Mighty Mouse.
848
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:19,939
Just the power that
he could produce...
849
00:40:20,113 --> 00:40:21,767
Li-- I re-- literally
remember matches--
850
00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:24,117
kids trying to crawl
off the side of the mat
851
00:40:24,291 --> 00:40:26,815
to get out of bounds, and he's
dragging them back in
852
00:40:26,989 --> 00:40:28,469
and pummeling them.
853
00:40:29,252 --> 00:40:31,516
- [whistle blows]
- He wrestled violently.
854
00:40:32,342 --> 00:40:36,129
When he got on the mat,
I would think, "Ben, be nice."
855
00:40:36,303 --> 00:40:37,696
[whistle blows]
856
00:40:37,870 --> 00:40:39,654
[Shandell] Because he was
a fierce wrestler,
857
00:40:39,828 --> 00:40:42,004
there were coaches that
said, "I don't want my kids
858
00:40:42,178 --> 00:40:43,528
to wrestle against him.
859
00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:45,486
We don't wanna, you know,
give them
860
00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:47,401
traumatic experiences."
861
00:40:49,316 --> 00:40:51,623
Guys saying, "What weight
is Ben Kjar wrestling?
862
00:40:51,797 --> 00:40:52,972
Okay, I'm gonna go
to a different weight
863
00:40:53,146 --> 00:40:54,147
'cause I don't wanna wrestle."
864
00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:55,670
That was how dominant he was.
865
00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:59,587
- [whistle blows]
- It was so fun to finally shine.
866
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,548
[news host] Prep wrestling took
center stage in Utah
867
00:41:03,722 --> 00:41:05,114
at this week's state
tournament.
868
00:41:05,288 --> 00:41:07,160
The reigning champions,
Layton High School,
869
00:41:07,334 --> 00:41:10,032
prevailed against an
underwhelming performance
870
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,556
from challenger Viewmont High.
871
00:41:11,947 --> 00:41:13,471
One bright spot, though,
for the Vikings
872
00:41:13,645 --> 00:41:15,081
was sophomore Ben Kjar,
873
00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:17,431
who won his very
first state title,
874
00:41:17,605 --> 00:41:20,347
dominating that
103-pound division,
875
00:41:22,305 --> 00:41:24,046
Ben was, like, the first
state champion that we'd had
876
00:41:24,220 --> 00:41:25,439
in a long time.
877
00:41:25,831 --> 00:41:28,311
His popularity was,
like, through the roof.
878
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:32,315
[man on microphone] Viewmont
High Homecoming King, Ben Kjar.
879
00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:34,840
- [cheering]
- [indistinct voices]
880
00:41:40,062 --> 00:41:42,761
[Zac] Everywhere we went, there
was a line ten people deep
881
00:41:43,022 --> 00:41:44,893
of wanting to say hi to him.
882
00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:46,808
We'd always make the joke
like, "Let's go get our number
883
00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:48,680
and stand in line so
we can say hi to Ben."
884
00:41:48,854 --> 00:41:50,464
[uplifting rock music]
885
00:41:51,683 --> 00:41:53,554
[Logan] And then all of
a sudden, the cutest
girls in school
886
00:41:53,728 --> 00:41:55,556
were, "Oh, Ben!" You know,
they'd give them big hugs.
887
00:41:55,730 --> 00:41:57,297
And like, "You're the best." And
888
00:41:57,471 --> 00:41:59,038
me and my buddies were
like, "Oh, man, he's-- dude,
889
00:41:59,212 --> 00:42:01,388
he's getting a hug from her?
Like, this is crazy."
890
00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:06,828
I was stealing girlfriends
one match at a time.
891
00:42:07,002 --> 00:42:08,395
[laughs] I'm just kidding.
892
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:16,751
Eventually, we learned the news
had gotten hold of the story.
893
00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:19,406
[newscast music]
894
00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:23,192
Wrestling is a sport where it's
difficult
895
00:42:23,366 --> 00:42:24,803
to hide any weaknesses.
896
00:42:24,977 --> 00:42:26,761
When a soft spot is
found, a savvy opponent
897
00:42:26,935 --> 00:42:28,894
should, and normally
will, capitalize.
898
00:42:29,068 --> 00:42:31,984
I was so excited for
this to be going out.
899
00:42:32,158 --> 00:42:33,725
Like, oh, my gosh.
900
00:42:34,073 --> 00:42:38,599
They filmed all the posters on
my walls where it said 3XSC,
901
00:42:38,773 --> 00:42:40,340
and they filmed me.
902
00:42:40,819 --> 00:42:42,342
This is crazy.
903
00:42:42,734 --> 00:42:46,651
And then the night that it's
supposed to air, it comes on.
904
00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,915
On the mat, Viewmont's best
wrestler gives other wrestlers
905
00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:51,525
very little compensation.
906
00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:52,744
[whistle blows]
907
00:42:53,266 --> 00:42:54,789
[Ben] And it's of me wrestling.
908
00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:56,095
[intriguing music]
909
00:42:56,704 --> 00:43:00,447
But the filming was
of me neck down,
910
00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:02,405
and I'm like,
"What are they doing?
911
00:43:03,232 --> 00:43:05,278
He doesn't even know
how to hold a camera."
912
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:09,412
And then all of a
sudden, I... realized why.
913
00:43:09,804 --> 00:43:11,153
[reporter] Viewmont wrestler,
Ben Kjar,
914
00:43:11,327 --> 00:43:13,416
had a lifetime
to make excuses.
915
00:43:13,678 --> 00:43:15,854
[Ben]
They moved in to my face...
916
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,467
...and it was like...
917
00:43:21,163 --> 00:43:22,469
...slow motion,
918
00:43:22,643 --> 00:43:24,384
and, like,
"This is what he looks like.
919
00:43:24,558 --> 00:43:25,603
Look at him."
920
00:43:26,691 --> 00:43:28,257
It's a weakness.
921
00:43:28,823 --> 00:43:31,347
All the camera angles
were really close up.
922
00:43:31,870 --> 00:43:33,828
Like, look at this freak, right?
923
00:43:34,002 --> 00:43:35,613
I felt like I was being mocked.
924
00:43:40,922 --> 00:43:42,445
I-- I didn't like it at all.
925
00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:48,103
I was so afraid that
people in my school saw it.
926
00:43:49,409 --> 00:43:51,716
I even thought about not
going to school the next day.
927
00:43:52,151 --> 00:43:53,369
I'm like, "I'm not going.
928
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:55,241
I don't wanna show my face."
929
00:43:57,373 --> 00:43:59,419
I go into my class the next day,
930
00:43:59,941 --> 00:44:02,117
and I sit in the back of the
room, and I just kinda sit there
931
00:44:02,291 --> 00:44:03,641
with my head down.
932
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:06,905
I didn't want anybody to mention
what happened the night before.
933
00:44:08,950 --> 00:44:10,082
And I looked up.
934
00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:15,783
My teacher, Mrs. Haslam,
rolled open this whiteboard,
935
00:44:16,044 --> 00:44:20,745
and on the back whiteboard,
she had written 3XSC.
936
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:22,660
And I...
937
00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,097
...didn't know what to say.
938
00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:29,623
[woman] I r-- remember
thinking, "That's awesome.
939
00:44:29,797 --> 00:44:31,886
There's a kid who knows
what he wants to achieve
940
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:34,933
and has all the tools and
discipline to make it happen."
941
00:44:36,848 --> 00:44:39,633
[Ben] And she said,
"Ben, I watched last night.
942
00:44:40,068 --> 00:44:42,505
Thanks for putting yourself
out there, and just know
943
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,290
that we're all rooting for you."
944
00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:48,729
In a moment of
complete self-doubt,
945
00:44:49,643 --> 00:44:51,732
she completely changed
the perspective.
946
00:44:57,259 --> 00:44:58,652
[Shandell] We felt like there's
literally nothing
947
00:44:58,826 --> 00:45:00,262
that could stop him.
948
00:45:00,915 --> 00:45:02,134
He was that dominant.
949
00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,353
[Ben] And the next year,
everyone had cleared out
950
00:45:04,527 --> 00:45:07,139
at my weight
at 112 pounds the entire year.
951
00:45:07,313 --> 00:45:08,314
It was a cakewalk.
952
00:45:09,750 --> 00:45:12,797
I'm like,
"3XSC, easy, green light!"
953
00:45:13,493 --> 00:45:14,494
[playful music]
954
00:45:18,063 --> 00:45:19,368
[Zac] Ben was wrestling at 112.
955
00:45:19,542 --> 00:45:21,631
I was 119, and Ben
decided he was gonna
956
00:45:21,806 --> 00:45:22,981
go back to this tournament.
957
00:45:23,155 --> 00:45:24,809
It was called the
Beast of the East.
958
00:45:24,983 --> 00:45:27,594
It was the same time during
the Viewmont Invitational.
959
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,858
The 119 class was tougher.
960
00:45:31,293 --> 00:45:32,860
[Shandell]
Zac tried it. He wrestled down
961
00:45:33,034 --> 00:45:34,601
because nobody was there.
962
00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:36,516
He did really well.
I think he won the tournament.
963
00:45:38,039 --> 00:45:40,912
[Ben] When I came back,
he had dropped weight,
964
00:45:41,303 --> 00:45:43,131
and he was like,
"Hey, I wanna wrestle here."
965
00:45:43,523 --> 00:45:45,438
I was not as strong
mentally as Ben.
966
00:45:45,612 --> 00:45:47,483
So at 112, I have
a better chance.
967
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,181
[Hadyn] The thing is,
it might just be a
968
00:45:49,355 --> 00:45:51,531
five-pound gap between weights.
969
00:45:52,010 --> 00:45:54,795
But I'm telling you, u--
unless you have wrestled,
970
00:45:54,969 --> 00:45:57,145
y-- you don't realize
that that five pounds
971
00:45:57,319 --> 00:45:58,843
might as well be 1000.
972
00:46:00,279 --> 00:46:01,671
[Bart] I knew how much Ben
weighed because I'd
973
00:46:01,846 --> 00:46:03,456
[chuckling]
had him on the scales.
974
00:46:03,978 --> 00:46:05,937
He probably
could have made 103.
975
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:07,895
[Logan] Like, nobody does this.
976
00:46:08,069 --> 00:46:09,854
Nobody says,
"Hey, you know what?
977
00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:12,639
I think it's better for the
team if I wrestle up a weight,"
978
00:46:12,813 --> 00:46:16,425
and really take a significant
risk that that
979
00:46:16,599 --> 00:46:20,255
three-time state champion patch
wouldn't come true.
980
00:46:21,126 --> 00:46:22,344
[Shandell] And I said, "Do you
wanna have a wrestle off
981
00:46:22,518 --> 00:46:24,390
and just... stay down and say,
982
00:46:24,564 --> 00:46:26,000
'Hey,
I'm staying at this weight?'"
983
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:28,350
And it was almost as if
984
00:46:28,524 --> 00:46:30,222
he went and looked at me
and goes,
985
00:46:31,745 --> 00:46:33,007
"Wipe off the crybaby face."
986
00:46:33,181 --> 00:46:34,617
You know, kinda, "Where's
the challenge?
987
00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:36,532
Where's the challenge in that?"
988
00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:38,578
[indistinct chatter]
989
00:46:40,188 --> 00:46:41,755
And the very next tournament...
990
00:46:42,408 --> 00:46:44,627
...he got beat by a bigger kid
that was wrestling 119
991
00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:46,629
that probably
came down from 130.
992
00:46:46,934 --> 00:46:49,981
That was his first high school
loss in the state at that point.
993
00:46:50,155 --> 00:46:52,287
[cheering]
994
00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:55,595
[Ben]
And then I took a second loss.
995
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:58,032
I'm like, "What am I doing?"
996
00:46:58,380 --> 00:47:00,818
[Stana]
We all went, "Oh, my goodness."
997
00:47:00,992 --> 00:47:02,123
[Scott] And when he came
home that night,
998
00:47:02,297 --> 00:47:03,733
he says, "Dad, he was so big.
999
00:47:03,908 --> 00:47:05,779
And I felt like I was
wrestling Goliath."
1000
00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:07,476
[cheering]
1001
00:47:09,043 --> 00:47:10,566
[Zac] And everyone was, like,
starting to question,
1002
00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:11,959
"Was this the right move?"
1003
00:47:12,307 --> 00:47:15,180
I knew, like, if he ended
up losing that year,
1004
00:47:15,354 --> 00:47:16,659
that he would probably--
1005
00:47:17,182 --> 00:47:18,531
I don't know. I don't know if
he'd resent me,
1006
00:47:18,705 --> 00:47:20,359
but that-- that thought
did cross my mind.
1007
00:47:20,533 --> 00:47:21,577
[inspiring music]
1008
00:47:21,795 --> 00:47:22,927
[Bart] It was amazing to see how
1009
00:47:23,101 --> 00:47:24,319
he came back from that.
1010
00:47:26,452 --> 00:47:27,496
He didn't cry about it.
1011
00:47:27,670 --> 00:47:29,107
He didn't throw a fit about it.
1012
00:47:29,716 --> 00:47:30,848
He just got better.
1013
00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:36,157
Every single lunch break,
every single moment of freedom,
1014
00:47:36,331 --> 00:47:37,898
where I had a little
bit of a choice,
1015
00:47:38,507 --> 00:47:40,466
I was found doing
whatever I could
1016
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,337
to have
a different outcome at state.
1017
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,863
[Nate] I remember being at
home, and my brother came
home.
1018
00:47:46,037 --> 00:47:48,082
He said, "Hey, Ben Kjar
is out doing sprints
1019
00:47:48,256 --> 00:47:50,389
on Main Street at midnight.
What is he doing?"
1020
00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:54,001
[Shandell] However,
when he made the decision
1021
00:47:54,175 --> 00:47:56,047
to go up a weight class,
that put him
1022
00:47:56,221 --> 00:47:58,614
on the same side
of the bracket at state
1023
00:47:59,180 --> 00:48:00,790
as this Sullivan kid
from Brighton.
1024
00:48:01,269 --> 00:48:03,924
Tall drink of water. I think
he was almost six feet tall.
1025
00:48:04,446 --> 00:48:06,013
In order to get to
the state finals,
1026
00:48:06,187 --> 00:48:08,146
we gotta go through
Sullivan in the semis.
1027
00:48:08,755 --> 00:48:10,191
This guy had starved
1028
00:48:10,365 --> 00:48:11,801
down 20 pounds.
1029
00:48:11,976 --> 00:48:13,673
Two totally different
builds, both wrestling
1030
00:48:13,847 --> 00:48:14,935
in the same weight class here.
1031
00:48:16,981 --> 00:48:19,113
That is a coaching nightmare.
1032
00:48:19,809 --> 00:48:21,681
I-- I was a little nervous,
quite honestly.
1033
00:48:23,335 --> 00:48:25,163
[Shandell]
For so many reasons, I thought,
1034
00:48:25,380 --> 00:48:27,426
"Ben, you're not gonna
beat Sullivan."
1035
00:48:29,210 --> 00:48:30,864
And I remember the match
just being, like,
1036
00:48:31,038 --> 00:48:32,518
- very, very close.
- [whistle blows]
1037
00:48:32,692 --> 00:48:34,085
- [Scott] Shoot. Come on.
- [Stana] This is it, this is it.
1038
00:48:34,259 --> 00:48:35,390
- This is yours, Ben.
- [woman] Come on, go!
1039
00:48:35,564 --> 00:48:36,609
[Scott] They got into overtime,
1040
00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:37,915
and the guy got into his legs
1041
00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:39,307
and was taking Ben down.
1042
00:48:39,481 --> 00:48:40,569
Sudden death.
1043
00:48:41,527 --> 00:48:42,702
[Stana]
Clear mind, clear mind, Ben.
1044
00:48:42,876 --> 00:48:43,790
This is yours.
1045
00:48:43,964 --> 00:48:45,139
They started rolling.
1046
00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:47,489
Reach deep, Ben.
That's it, Ben. Yes!
1047
00:48:47,663 --> 00:48:50,188
[Scott] As he was rolling
through that, he could see
his 3XSC.
1048
00:48:50,362 --> 00:48:52,886
He was reaching for it,
going for it,
1049
00:48:53,060 --> 00:48:54,279
and he wanted to grab it.
1050
00:48:54,453 --> 00:48:55,802
[Stana]
That's it, Ben. That's it.
1051
00:48:55,976 --> 00:48:58,152
- [loud shouting]
- Reach deep, Ben. That's it.
1052
00:48:58,326 --> 00:48:59,501
[Scott]
I don't know how it happened.
1053
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:00,981
I don't know how he did it.
1054
00:49:01,286 --> 00:49:02,678
- [cheering]
- [Stana] He's on top.
1055
00:49:03,636 --> 00:49:04,985
[Scott] Ben came out on top.
1056
00:49:05,377 --> 00:49:08,119
[screaming]
All right! All right!
1057
00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:10,817
Pin him! Pin him!
1058
00:49:11,165 --> 00:49:13,080
Pin him! Pin him!
1059
00:49:13,254 --> 00:49:15,126
- [whistle blows]
- [excited cheering]
1060
00:49:15,604 --> 00:49:17,302
All right!
1061
00:49:17,476 --> 00:49:18,651
All right!
1062
00:49:18,825 --> 00:49:20,174
Woo!
1063
00:49:20,566 --> 00:49:22,133
All right!
1064
00:49:22,307 --> 00:49:23,308
Ben!
1065
00:49:23,482 --> 00:49:24,787
Woo!
1066
00:49:25,310 --> 00:49:27,921
Walking off the mat, he says,
"See, Coach? I was okay."
1067
00:49:28,095 --> 00:49:29,140
[laughs]
1068
00:49:29,575 --> 00:49:32,447
[Scott] Woo! All right, Ben.
1069
00:49:32,621 --> 00:49:34,319
- [cheering]
- [Stana] Great job!
1070
00:49:34,493 --> 00:49:37,148
[Bart] After that, I think,
in Ben Kjar's mind,
1071
00:49:37,322 --> 00:49:38,801
there wasn't a
human on the planet
1072
00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:40,325
that he couldn't take down.
1073
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,805
[announcer]
From Viewmont, Ben Kjar.
1074
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:44,503
[cheering]
1075
00:49:47,506 --> 00:49:49,377
[Zac] In the finals, he
wrestled a kid from Orem...
1076
00:49:49,769 --> 00:49:51,640
- [whistle blows]
- [announcer speaking
indistinctly]
1077
00:49:52,119 --> 00:49:53,729
...and the match
wasn't even close.
1078
00:49:53,903 --> 00:49:55,514
- [cheering]
- [whistle blows]
1079
00:49:55,688 --> 00:49:57,690
[uplifting music]
1080
00:50:06,090 --> 00:50:08,918
[Shandell]
That confidence is contagious.
1081
00:50:09,093 --> 00:50:11,008
Everybody around him realized,
1082
00:50:11,399 --> 00:50:12,966
"Oh, my gosh, we could win
1083
00:50:13,140 --> 00:50:15,012
a state championship as a team."
1084
00:50:15,403 --> 00:50:17,057
And as we started
the next year, that was
1085
00:50:17,231 --> 00:50:19,016
the single focus
and the single goal.
1086
00:50:24,978 --> 00:50:26,849
[Ben] Viewmont High School
had never won a state title.
1087
00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:30,331
Bart Thompson had been
there, sacrificing his life
1088
00:50:30,505 --> 00:50:31,811
for pennies an hour.
1089
00:50:31,985 --> 00:50:33,334
But this was the year.
1090
00:50:34,379 --> 00:50:38,122
[Hadyn] When you wanna win a
state championship as a team,
1091
00:50:38,296 --> 00:50:41,168
you really have to get everybody
to be on the same page.
1092
00:50:41,429 --> 00:50:43,214
And how do you get
on that same page?
1093
00:50:43,431 --> 00:50:44,650
You have to have a leader.
1094
00:50:45,651 --> 00:50:47,522
And everybody else
was like, "Well, I mean,
1095
00:50:47,696 --> 00:50:49,742
if he's gonna push that
hard, I've gotta do it, too."
1096
00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:51,700
"If Ben can be positive
and set goals,
1097
00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:53,833
then I can be positive
and set goals."
1098
00:50:54,790 --> 00:50:59,143
He expected everybody to
be as committed as he was,
1099
00:50:59,752 --> 00:51:01,797
and that fed...
1100
00:51:02,798 --> 00:51:04,148
...everybody in the room.
1101
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,325
[Zac] And that year, we just...
1102
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,109
absolutely obliterated everyone,
1103
00:51:09,283 --> 00:51:10,371
which was so fun.
1104
00:51:11,459 --> 00:51:13,113
[reporter] After years of
disappointing finishes,
1105
00:51:13,287 --> 00:51:14,767
Viewmont High School's
wrestling team
1106
00:51:14,941 --> 00:51:16,334
looks to finally win
1107
00:51:16,508 --> 00:51:17,987
their very first state
championship
1108
00:51:18,162 --> 00:51:20,077
at the 5A
tournament this weekend.
1109
00:51:20,251 --> 00:51:24,081
They enter the tournament as
Utah's number one ranked team.
1110
00:51:26,779 --> 00:51:29,564
[Ben] As we go to state,
it's a three-day tournament.
1111
00:51:29,738 --> 00:51:33,873
And after day one, Bart
comes up to me, and he says,
1112
00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:36,528
"Ben, Viewmont is
having a pep rally.
1113
00:51:36,963 --> 00:51:39,270
This is what you have
to tell the school."
1114
00:51:40,271 --> 00:51:42,011
And what he told me,
I couldn't believe.
1115
00:51:42,273 --> 00:51:43,926
[clapping and cheering]
1116
00:51:44,797 --> 00:51:47,626
I have the microphone
handed to me,
1117
00:51:49,062 --> 00:51:52,892
and I just restate exactly
what my coach had said.
1118
00:51:54,241 --> 00:51:56,852
"After day one of
a three-day tournament,
1119
00:51:57,549 --> 00:51:59,028
Viewmont Vikings...
1120
00:51:59,594 --> 00:52:01,988
...are the 5A 2002
1121
00:52:02,162 --> 00:52:03,598
state champions."
1122
00:52:04,556 --> 00:52:07,385
And everyone was like, fr--
like, "What-- what's going on?"
1123
00:52:07,559 --> 00:52:08,603
Confused.
1124
00:52:08,777 --> 00:52:09,909
[cheering]
1125
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,824
We had gained so many points
1126
00:52:11,998 --> 00:52:15,044
that it was impossible for
anybody to catch up.
1127
00:52:19,571 --> 00:52:21,268
[cheering]
1128
00:52:23,705 --> 00:52:24,750
[indistinct chatter]
1129
00:52:24,924 --> 00:52:26,621
We broke every record.
1130
00:52:29,102 --> 00:52:30,930
- [cheering]
- [whistle blows]
1131
00:52:31,104 --> 00:52:33,062
[Bart] Which meant that for
the next two days, the kids
1132
00:52:33,237 --> 00:52:34,412
could wrestle for fun...
1133
00:52:35,891 --> 00:52:36,936
...and they did.
1134
00:52:41,375 --> 00:52:43,986
[Scott]
The 3XSC was a spark plug.
1135
00:52:44,204 --> 00:52:47,251
Put it out there, pay
the price, and go for it.
1136
00:52:51,994 --> 00:52:54,562
I was just as proud of them
as I could possibly be.
1137
00:52:54,780 --> 00:52:56,085
[cheering]
1138
00:52:56,912 --> 00:52:58,523
It was something
that they had earned.
1139
00:53:00,046 --> 00:53:02,309
[male voice]
This is Talkin' Sports.
1140
00:53:03,223 --> 00:53:06,226
[reporter] Don't mess with
Viewmont senior Ben Kjar.
1141
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,751
Kjar led his Vikings to their
first ever state team title
1142
00:53:09,925 --> 00:53:11,623
and is now looking ahead.
1143
00:53:11,797 --> 00:53:14,278
[Ben] I've talked to some of the
top colleges in the nation,
1144
00:53:14,452 --> 00:53:16,062
and that would be awesome.
1145
00:53:16,236 --> 00:53:18,325
He's going to be an incredible
asset to whatever program
1146
00:53:18,499 --> 00:53:19,457
he ends up with.
1147
00:53:21,154 --> 00:53:23,156
[Logan] Every big wrestling
school in the country
1148
00:53:23,330 --> 00:53:24,636
was trying to recruit him.
1149
00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:28,074
[Ben] But at the same
time in high school,
1150
00:53:28,248 --> 00:53:30,250
I kept pushing back my surgery.
1151
00:53:30,555 --> 00:53:32,948
And if you can imagine how
much the structure of your face
1152
00:53:33,122 --> 00:53:34,602
changes through puberty...
1153
00:53:35,081 --> 00:53:37,736
I looked... really different.
1154
00:53:37,910 --> 00:53:39,085
I knew that I had to have it.
1155
00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:40,217
I just wasn't functioning--
1156
00:53:40,391 --> 00:53:41,783
I-- I couldn't breathe at night.
1157
00:53:43,045 --> 00:53:44,656
[Dr. Louis] Ben needed surgery
1158
00:53:44,830 --> 00:53:47,224
to help reconstruct
the mid-face.
1159
00:53:47,789 --> 00:53:49,356
We presented the procedure,
1160
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:51,140
what needed to be done at
that point in time.
1161
00:53:52,664 --> 00:53:54,970
[Ben] Doctors were telling me,
"You gotta do it
1162
00:53:55,144 --> 00:53:57,103
in multiple different
surgeries,
1163
00:53:57,364 --> 00:53:59,714
and you need to wear a halo
around your head."
1164
00:54:00,541 --> 00:54:03,196
[Dr. Louis] This device still
requires surgery,
1165
00:54:03,805 --> 00:54:06,025
but then instead of
moving it all at one time,
1166
00:54:06,373 --> 00:54:09,420
we do it by moving the
face incrementally.
1167
00:54:09,811 --> 00:54:12,988
I'm like, "Man, we did all these
surgeries before in one go.
1168
00:54:13,162 --> 00:54:15,121
Cut my head open.
Why can't we do that again?"
1169
00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:16,340
[dramatic music]
1170
00:54:17,123 --> 00:54:19,081
But what shocked me
the most is he said,
1171
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:20,909
"I don't know if you
can ever wrestle again."
1172
00:54:21,954 --> 00:54:25,392
I'm very aware of the
time frame of doing surgery
1173
00:54:25,566 --> 00:54:28,352
and what is best in
terms of their activities.
1174
00:54:28,613 --> 00:54:32,704
If you want it fixed, you can't
go back into the same activity
1175
00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,401
that you were doing before.
1176
00:54:35,359 --> 00:54:38,492
He wasn't given any options.
1177
00:54:38,753 --> 00:54:40,581
Do you want your
face fixed or not?
1178
00:54:41,843 --> 00:54:44,933
I was afraid that once
I have that surgery,
1179
00:54:45,107 --> 00:54:46,457
this dream would be gone.
1180
00:54:51,026 --> 00:54:53,333
So after telling them,
"I need to have surgeries,"
1181
00:54:53,507 --> 00:54:55,466
many of the schools backed off.
1182
00:54:56,902 --> 00:54:58,599
There was only one
recruiter left.
1183
00:54:59,644 --> 00:55:01,210
[playful music]
1184
00:55:01,515 --> 00:55:05,302
[man] We were going to the
Kjar home to recruit Ben.
1185
00:55:05,867 --> 00:55:07,782
I'm from a family of seven kids,
1186
00:55:08,174 --> 00:55:10,307
and I think Ben's, like,
1187
00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:12,787
from a family
of maybe two, 300?
1188
00:55:12,961 --> 00:55:14,006
[laughs]
1189
00:55:15,660 --> 00:55:17,836
With the surgery,
I introduced to him
1190
00:55:18,010 --> 00:55:19,490
the concept of a grayshirt.
1191
00:55:19,664 --> 00:55:21,927
You can actually come
for a year of training,
1192
00:55:22,101 --> 00:55:24,712
and it does not count
against your eligibility.
1193
00:55:24,886 --> 00:55:26,105
It helps you prepare.
1194
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:28,629
It's a tremendous advantage.
1195
00:55:28,847 --> 00:55:30,805
And then what happened
was it was a package deal
1196
00:55:30,979 --> 00:55:33,286
because Luke decided
to come as well.
1197
00:55:33,808 --> 00:55:36,376
It was just such a
perfect match for me.
1198
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,597
[solemn music]
1199
00:55:40,424 --> 00:55:43,296
Right after we got to Oklahoma,
my older brother Luke,
1200
00:55:43,470 --> 00:55:45,254
he had a little bit of
an underbite as well,
1201
00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:47,039
and he just wanted to fix it.
1202
00:55:47,213 --> 00:55:49,389
And Luke goes into this
appointment with this doctor.
1203
00:55:49,563 --> 00:55:50,608
[indistinct chatter]
1204
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:53,175
[Luke] I was talking to the
doctor and I told him
1205
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:56,483
just briefly about what
Ben was dealing with.
1206
00:55:56,657 --> 00:55:59,617
He was, like, so intrigued
by the challenge.
1207
00:55:59,791 --> 00:56:00,792
[inaudible]
1208
00:56:00,966 --> 00:56:01,923
And my brother says, "Hey, Ben,
1209
00:56:02,097 --> 00:56:03,577
the doctor wants to meet you."
1210
00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:05,971
And they looked at
him, and they said,
1211
00:56:06,145 --> 00:56:08,452
"I think we can do something
totally different."
1212
00:56:09,104 --> 00:56:11,890
"And we can get you back on
the mat before you know it.
1213
00:56:12,194 --> 00:56:14,196
You can absolutely
wrestle again."
1214
00:56:15,589 --> 00:56:17,156
Today's my surgery day.
1215
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:19,767
[nurse] There you go.
1216
00:56:21,029 --> 00:56:24,206
When they took the bandages
off, we just sat there in awe.
1217
00:56:24,903 --> 00:56:29,647
[Stana]
Son... you look wonderful.
1218
00:56:32,563 --> 00:56:36,001
You see him look at his
face and go, "I'm done.
1219
00:56:36,175 --> 00:56:37,829
I'm-- I'm released."
1220
00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:41,572
It was an answer to our
prayers.
1221
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:45,532
After all the surgeries, I'm
like, "Oh, man, like,
he looks great."
1222
00:56:45,706 --> 00:56:47,969
But Ben's face,
my whole life, that was--
1223
00:56:48,143 --> 00:56:49,318
that was happiness to me.
1224
00:56:51,799 --> 00:56:55,150
I'm happy for him,
but I-- I miss that face.
1225
00:56:59,285 --> 00:57:02,984
[Ben] After my surgeries, I was
given three years to heal.
1226
00:57:04,029 --> 00:57:06,858
Staying off the mat as much
as I could, it wasn't easy.
1227
00:57:08,860 --> 00:57:10,383
I loved Oklahoma.
1228
00:57:10,862 --> 00:57:14,561
I wanted no more than to just
go back and fill in the spot.
1229
00:57:14,953 --> 00:57:16,694
[announcer]
Jack Spates shaking hands.
1230
00:57:16,868 --> 00:57:19,174
They know they have
another national champion.
1231
00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:21,742
[Jack]
Coming back after the surgery,
1232
00:57:22,090 --> 00:57:24,658
I'm hesitant in that because
1233
00:57:24,832 --> 00:57:26,573
it's really hard,
1234
00:57:26,834 --> 00:57:29,054
when a guy's been away
from wrestling,
1235
00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:30,359
to come back.
1236
00:57:30,534 --> 00:57:32,797
And so we didn't go that route.
1237
00:57:33,624 --> 00:57:34,668
So what do I do?
1238
00:57:35,843 --> 00:57:38,585
I prayed about it, and I
felt like I should really
1239
00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:41,196
look at going to Boise State.
1240
00:57:41,762 --> 00:57:43,024
It's close to home.
1241
00:57:43,198 --> 00:57:44,461
There's a Division I program.
I believe
1242
00:57:44,635 --> 00:57:45,940
they were, like,
top ten in the country.
1243
00:57:46,114 --> 00:57:48,421
And so I verbally
committed to Boise State.
1244
00:57:49,727 --> 00:57:53,165
And literally, the next day...
we get a call.
1245
00:57:54,601 --> 00:57:56,777
Utah Valley's wrestling
team announced Greg Williams
1246
00:57:56,951 --> 00:57:58,475
as their new coach today.
1247
00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:02,391
My club coach has
taken over a program
1248
00:58:02,566 --> 00:58:04,132
that I never knew was an option.
1249
00:58:04,611 --> 00:58:06,787
I mean, at the time,
it was a junior college.
1250
00:58:06,961 --> 00:58:11,052
But UVSC is about to become
Utah Valley University.
1251
00:58:11,226 --> 00:58:13,533
Yesterday, state
lawmakers approved
1252
00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:16,623
giving university status to
the, now, Division I school.
1253
00:58:17,929 --> 00:58:20,409
Utah Valley jumped directly
from junior college
1254
00:58:20,584 --> 00:58:22,499
to Division I.
My wrestling program was
1255
00:58:22,673 --> 00:58:24,283
really young at the time.
1256
00:58:24,457 --> 00:58:27,547
We needed Ben, who could come
in and change the culture
1257
00:58:27,721 --> 00:58:29,549
and kinda show the rest
of our wrestlers
1258
00:58:29,723 --> 00:58:31,986
that they can compete
on the national scene.
1259
00:58:32,639 --> 00:58:36,991
But in that jump, they were
given a provisional status.
1260
00:58:38,340 --> 00:58:40,778
[Greg] That means the wrestling
team can compete against D1,
1261
00:58:40,952 --> 00:58:42,214
but they can't go post-season,
1262
00:58:42,823 --> 00:58:44,477
so you don't get
that opportunity
1263
00:58:44,651 --> 00:58:46,392
to be an All-American
or national champion.
1264
00:58:47,436 --> 00:58:49,874
So for Ben to come
here, it meant two years
1265
00:58:50,048 --> 00:58:52,267
where he couldn't
go to nationals.
1266
00:58:53,486 --> 00:58:55,314
[Ben] The first time that
I could go to nationals
1267
00:58:55,488 --> 00:58:56,663
would be my junior year.
1268
00:58:58,143 --> 00:58:59,927
They didn't even have
a wrestling room.
1269
00:59:00,580 --> 00:59:02,974
I would have to haul in
mats and haul them back out
1270
00:59:03,148 --> 00:59:04,366
and wash them, like,
1271
00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:06,238
worse than I was in junior high.
1272
00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:08,066
Why would I do that?
1273
00:59:10,372 --> 00:59:11,635
[Greg]
Ben's driving home from Boise.
1274
00:59:11,809 --> 00:59:13,898
I get a call.
And he says, "Yeah,
1275
00:59:14,072 --> 00:59:15,900
after, you know,
visiting and stuff,
1276
00:59:16,074 --> 00:59:18,424
I decided I'm gonna
go to Boise."
1277
00:59:19,425 --> 00:59:23,908
And he says, "Ben, I totally
get it, I totally understand."
1278
00:59:25,518 --> 00:59:26,650
I said, "Hey, Greg--"
1279
00:59:27,215 --> 00:59:29,217
I'm like, "What if I told
you I was lying to you?"
1280
00:59:29,478 --> 00:59:30,784
- [laughs]
- [upbeat music]
1281
00:59:31,959 --> 00:59:34,658
[reporter]
The Wolverines announced their
most impressive recruit yet.
1282
00:59:34,832 --> 00:59:38,096
Ben Kjar of Viewmont joins
as Utah Valley makes a jump
1283
00:59:38,270 --> 00:59:40,272
into Division I competition.
1284
00:59:41,229 --> 00:59:42,448
I don't know...
1285
00:59:43,405 --> 00:59:45,625
[voice breaking] ...how many
people really understand...
1286
00:59:45,799 --> 00:59:46,800
[clears throat]
1287
00:59:48,062 --> 00:59:49,803
[exhales] ...the sacrifice...
1288
00:59:50,456 --> 00:59:53,590
that that was for him,
because he knew...
1289
00:59:54,199 --> 00:59:56,288
that he could
go to nationals his first year.
1290
00:59:56,462 --> 00:59:58,029
It's not like he
didn't believe that.
1291
01:00:00,161 --> 01:00:02,599
[Ben] I felt like
Utah Valley University
1292
01:00:02,773 --> 01:00:04,078
was the place for me to go,
1293
01:00:04,252 --> 01:00:05,384
and I don't know why.
1294
01:00:08,517 --> 01:00:10,955
[Greg] We ended up with 17 guys
living in two houses,
1295
01:00:11,129 --> 01:00:14,219
so the wrestling team was super
close from the very beginning.
1296
01:00:14,393 --> 01:00:15,699
[gentle music]
1297
01:00:16,787 --> 01:00:17,962
[Seth] We were living in the
house.
1298
01:00:18,136 --> 01:00:19,441
So one of the
rules of this house
1299
01:00:19,616 --> 01:00:21,052
was there's no
alcohol in the house,
1300
01:00:21,269 --> 01:00:23,532
and this was a
time where I-- I drank.
1301
01:00:23,707 --> 01:00:25,230
I was not doing good at all.
1302
01:00:25,404 --> 01:00:26,840
Like-- It was, like,
taking my medicine.
1303
01:00:27,014 --> 01:00:28,625
I was, like, self-medicating.
1304
01:00:28,929 --> 01:00:31,192
And, uh, I remember I drank,
and I was in the house.
1305
01:00:31,758 --> 01:00:33,630
And Ben came home, and he knew.
1306
01:00:34,718 --> 01:00:37,024
I thought I was gonna
get kicked out or whatever.
1307
01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:39,113
And that's the last
thing on planet Earth
1308
01:00:39,287 --> 01:00:41,289
I needed, you know,
it was, like, someone to
1309
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:42,987
sit down here and lecture you
about drinking.
1310
01:00:43,161 --> 01:00:45,076
I'm not a dummy.
I know I shouldn't be drinking.
1311
01:00:46,251 --> 01:00:47,948
I'll never forget what he did.
1312
01:00:49,297 --> 01:00:51,125
He sat there,
and he was a friend.
1313
01:00:51,386 --> 01:00:52,779
And he asked me questions
1314
01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:55,042
because I needed someone
to talk to.
1315
01:00:55,564 --> 01:00:57,479
- [inaudible]
- He never shunned me.
1316
01:00:57,654 --> 01:00:59,568
He never condemned me.
He never kicked me out
of the house.
1317
01:00:59,743 --> 01:01:01,614
And he never said anything
about it after that.
1318
01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:04,051
That's, like, one of the
moments, I think, in my life
1319
01:01:04,225 --> 01:01:05,400
where I'm like,
1320
01:01:06,097 --> 01:01:07,228
"I'll go to war for Ben.
1321
01:01:07,402 --> 01:01:09,361
Like, Ben is-- he is a friend."
1322
01:01:11,232 --> 01:01:13,757
[Jared] He was the face of the
university immediately.
1323
01:01:13,931 --> 01:01:16,281
Everybody wanted
to be around Ben.
1324
01:01:16,455 --> 01:01:17,891
[projector whirs]
1325
01:01:18,283 --> 01:01:20,720
[LaCol] I ran track at Utah
Valley University.
1326
01:01:21,590 --> 01:01:23,288
I had seen pictures
of Ben before.
1327
01:01:24,376 --> 01:01:26,857
His poster was always
posted around the halls
1328
01:01:27,031 --> 01:01:28,423
in the athletic program.
1329
01:01:29,729 --> 01:01:30,904
I just wanted to be his friend.
1330
01:01:31,078 --> 01:01:33,211
I just wanted to be around him.
1331
01:01:34,342 --> 01:01:35,430
[man] You'd see him on banners.
1332
01:01:35,604 --> 01:01:36,910
You'd see him on magazines.
1333
01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:38,303
He was on billboards.
1334
01:01:39,130 --> 01:01:41,175
Ben was the man,
the myth, and the legend.
1335
01:01:41,349 --> 01:01:43,874
And everybody liked
themselves best
1336
01:01:44,135 --> 01:01:45,745
when they were with Ben Kjar.
1337
01:01:47,486 --> 01:01:51,446
[Jared] But on the mat, Ben had
that tenacious, gritty,
1338
01:01:51,620 --> 01:01:54,928
like, "I'm here to just rip your
soul out" type of mentality.
1339
01:01:56,060 --> 01:01:57,583
Our first wrestling match,
1340
01:01:57,757 --> 01:02:00,064
Ben pins his opponent in, like,
20 seconds,
1341
01:02:00,891 --> 01:02:03,284
before people have
e-- even sat down yet.
1342
01:02:03,807 --> 01:02:05,069
- [whistle blows]
- [cheering]
1343
01:02:05,243 --> 01:02:07,506
There was an absolute
mutiny of fans.
1344
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,596
So from that point on, we
always wrestled Ben last,
1345
01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:13,033
to make sure that every
single fan had a chance
1346
01:02:13,207 --> 01:02:15,166
to come and watch the guy
that they came to watch.
1347
01:02:16,515 --> 01:02:19,474
That year,
as a freshman, I led...
1348
01:02:20,127 --> 01:02:22,739
...the entire country in most
wins,
1349
01:02:23,261 --> 01:02:26,046
over the entire NCAA Division I.
1350
01:02:26,917 --> 01:02:28,092
[solemn music]
1351
01:02:30,224 --> 01:02:31,617
But then to go to nationals
1352
01:02:31,791 --> 01:02:34,098
and sit on my butt in
the chair in the stadium
1353
01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:36,622
and watch guys I
competed against...
1354
01:02:36,970 --> 01:02:38,450
I'm like, "I should be there."
1355
01:02:39,146 --> 01:02:40,800
And then the next year,
same thing.
1356
01:02:40,974 --> 01:02:42,454
Beating guys that were going.
1357
01:02:42,802 --> 01:02:44,848
I'm like, "What am I doing?
1358
01:02:46,893 --> 01:02:47,894
Why did I come here?"
1359
01:02:50,636 --> 01:02:53,770
I had a thing on Facebook
pop up that said,
1360
01:02:53,944 --> 01:02:55,380
you might know Ben K-jar."
1361
01:02:55,554 --> 01:02:56,381
I didn't even know how
to say his last name.
1362
01:02:56,555 --> 01:02:58,339
[chuckles] But I said,
1363
01:02:58,513 --> 01:02:59,688
"Yes, I want to know him.
1364
01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:00,994
- Add Friend."
- [mouse clicks]
1365
01:03:01,429 --> 01:03:04,432
The next day he
messaged me, and then he
1366
01:03:04,606 --> 01:03:08,610
invited me to hang out with
some friends at this party.
1367
01:03:09,002 --> 01:03:10,874
And she said,
"Well, that depends.
1368
01:03:11,048 --> 01:03:12,266
Is this a date...
1369
01:03:12,701 --> 01:03:14,094
[reads]
1370
01:03:14,355 --> 01:03:15,356
[message tone]
1371
01:03:16,401 --> 01:03:18,707
I was so nervous,
1372
01:03:18,882 --> 01:03:20,231
but I'm like, "You know what?
1373
01:03:21,362 --> 01:03:22,537
I'ma take a shot."
1374
01:03:25,323 --> 01:03:26,628
[message tone]
1375
01:03:27,194 --> 01:03:28,239
[music turns bright]
1376
01:03:29,196 --> 01:03:32,373
[LaCol]
We had so much fun on this date.
1377
01:03:33,722 --> 01:03:34,898
We played racquetball.
1378
01:03:39,250 --> 01:03:41,078
And when she beat
me in racquetball,
1379
01:03:41,687 --> 01:03:44,690
I knew that I either hated
this girl or I loved this girl.
1380
01:03:46,474 --> 01:03:48,433
Well, I remember sitting
in the car looking over
1381
01:03:48,607 --> 01:03:51,610
at him, just super giddy, and
we laughed so much that day.
1382
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:54,308
[Ben] Going home that
night, I'm like, "Wow,
1383
01:03:54,482 --> 01:03:57,181
I don't know where she's going,
but she's going somewhere
1384
01:03:57,355 --> 01:03:58,617
that I wanna be."
1385
01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:02,882
[LaCol] That night,
I wrote in my journal,
1386
01:04:03,491 --> 01:04:06,190
"I think I'm in love with
pocket-sized Hercules."
1387
01:04:06,407 --> 01:04:08,279
[laughs]
1388
01:04:09,062 --> 01:04:11,064
He was nothing like
anybody I'd ever dated.
1389
01:04:13,675 --> 01:04:16,940
And from there on out,
we just were inseparable.
1390
01:04:21,379 --> 01:04:23,076
[LaCol] I was just beaming.
1391
01:04:23,598 --> 01:04:25,557
I was on cloud nine.
1392
01:04:29,604 --> 01:04:31,693
There was a little
caveat, though.
1393
01:04:33,695 --> 01:04:35,219
[LaCol] I had been planning
to move to Italy
1394
01:04:35,393 --> 01:04:36,785
and live abroad for
a couple of years.
1395
01:04:37,395 --> 01:04:38,439
It was my dream.
1396
01:04:39,005 --> 01:04:40,528
And then I met Ben. [chuckles]
1397
01:04:41,268 --> 01:04:43,705
I was supposed
to leave really soon.
1398
01:04:44,968 --> 01:04:46,012
And I had no idea.
1399
01:04:46,578 --> 01:04:48,275
And I knew I was in trouble...
1400
01:04:49,494 --> 01:04:50,451
...but I was afraid.
1401
01:04:51,278 --> 01:04:52,584
Could she really love me?
1402
01:04:53,150 --> 01:04:56,109
Especially if that meant raising
kids that looked like me.
1403
01:04:57,676 --> 01:05:00,200
We were spending some time
together,
1404
01:05:00,548 --> 01:05:02,942
talking things through, trying
to figure out what to do.
1405
01:05:05,031 --> 01:05:09,644
I said, listen...
this is a serious... thing.
1406
01:05:09,818 --> 01:05:12,125
Our kids, if we
have them, naturally
1407
01:05:12,299 --> 01:05:15,259
are gonna be born
with Crouzon syndrome.
1408
01:05:17,609 --> 01:05:18,958
You know, I'm not gonna lie,
1409
01:05:19,132 --> 01:05:21,830
I really had to think,
"Is this something
1410
01:05:22,005 --> 01:05:23,920
that I'm capable of handling?
1411
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:28,533
'Cause it's gonna
take a strong person."
1412
01:05:28,707 --> 01:05:29,751
[exhales]
1413
01:05:32,189 --> 01:05:36,410
I needed to know what
Crouzon syndrome... was.
1414
01:05:37,150 --> 01:05:38,369
You go look it up
on the internet.
1415
01:05:38,543 --> 01:05:39,674
And it can be scary.
1416
01:05:39,848 --> 01:05:41,328
[keyboard clacking]
1417
01:05:41,981 --> 01:05:44,679
What it could mean for our kids,
for our family, our lifestyle,
1418
01:05:44,853 --> 01:05:45,898
our dreams.
1419
01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:53,427
And it was like this
big, dark cloud...
1420
01:05:54,167 --> 01:05:56,256
literally had settled
into my mind.
1421
01:05:57,170 --> 01:06:00,652
I was just a mess.
I was not sure.
1422
01:06:04,525 --> 01:06:06,353
And then I started
to think about Ben.
1423
01:06:09,139 --> 01:06:10,444
[soft sob]
1424
01:06:15,014 --> 01:06:17,277
I remembered that
first time seeing Ben.
1425
01:06:18,452 --> 01:06:20,150
I remembered what I felt.
1426
01:06:23,196 --> 01:06:25,285
And it brought back a memory
1427
01:06:25,633 --> 01:06:27,113
that from a very young age...
1428
01:06:27,809 --> 01:06:29,289
...I had always felt...
1429
01:06:30,073 --> 01:06:33,815
...like... God had
a calling for me...
1430
01:06:34,816 --> 01:06:37,167
[voice breaking] ...that was
different than the path
1431
01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:38,951
that I would typically choose.
1432
01:06:40,170 --> 01:06:42,041
I didn't know what it was.
I just...
1433
01:06:42,781 --> 01:06:44,739
...had a feeling there
was gonna be something
1434
01:06:44,913 --> 01:06:46,263
different about my family.
1435
01:06:47,394 --> 01:06:48,613
And when I remembered that,
1436
01:06:48,787 --> 01:06:50,702
it was like that dark cloud
lifted...
1437
01:06:53,226 --> 01:06:55,011
[sobbing]
...and I could see everything.
1438
01:06:59,580 --> 01:07:01,800
What my life with
him would be like.
1439
01:07:08,111 --> 01:07:10,983
I knew exactly what my
answer needed to be.
1440
01:07:12,985 --> 01:07:15,857
[Ben] She said, "If our kids are
gonna have Crouzon syndrome,
1441
01:07:16,293 --> 01:07:19,557
well, then, Ben, who better
to raise them than us?"
1442
01:07:24,910 --> 01:07:29,523
At that moment I realized,
"Oh, my gosh, I could be loved."
1443
01:07:31,438 --> 01:07:33,571
So the day before she
was supposed to leave,
1444
01:07:33,745 --> 01:07:35,529
I asked for her
hand in marriage,
1445
01:07:36,269 --> 01:07:39,011
and we went to her house
and told her parents.
1446
01:07:41,535 --> 01:07:42,493
[bright music]
1447
01:07:44,147 --> 01:07:46,105
[woman] It had been a lot of
work to get LaCol ready
1448
01:07:46,279 --> 01:07:47,324
to go to Italy.
1449
01:07:48,194 --> 01:07:49,804
We were waiting for
her to come home
1450
01:07:49,978 --> 01:07:52,416
so we could send her
off the next morning.
1451
01:07:53,852 --> 01:07:55,767
Ben comes in the house,
1452
01:07:55,941 --> 01:07:57,943
and the only thing I could
think of is,
1453
01:07:58,509 --> 01:08:00,293
"That's funny.
I don't know why they're here."
1454
01:08:00,815 --> 01:08:01,990
Well, I just kind of--
1455
01:08:02,513 --> 01:08:03,688
Yeah, I wondered...
1456
01:08:04,993 --> 01:08:06,647
He was just a good friend
coming
1457
01:08:06,821 --> 01:08:08,345
to wish her...
1458
01:08:09,128 --> 01:08:10,173
...whatever.
1459
01:08:10,521 --> 01:08:11,522
[somber music]
1460
01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:15,439
[Valenna] I didn't really know
a thing about Ben.
1461
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:19,182
And then they said,
"We decided
1462
01:08:19,704 --> 01:08:21,445
that we're gonna get married."
1463
01:08:24,187 --> 01:08:26,667
It was a real shock.
1464
01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:29,061
I didn't know she
was dating anybody.
1465
01:08:31,585 --> 01:08:35,459
[Daryl] I had a feeling Ben
was a good person.
1466
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:41,291
I think that helped me
accept what was going on.
1467
01:08:42,988 --> 01:08:45,730
But I was concerned
about my wife.
1468
01:08:47,732 --> 01:08:49,690
[Valenna] I think he thought
I'd be so happy.
1469
01:08:50,996 --> 01:08:52,258
[Ben] But she was not happy...
1470
01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:54,869
...and I don't blame her at all.
1471
01:08:56,523 --> 01:09:01,137
This interesting looking guy
comes in, being a complete bozo
1472
01:09:01,311 --> 01:09:03,530
and dropping this on
them without any warning.
1473
01:09:04,705 --> 01:09:07,926
[LaCol] My mom is the kindest
person you'll ever meet.
1474
01:09:09,667 --> 01:09:12,017
What happened next
was so unlike her.
1475
01:09:12,713 --> 01:09:15,455
I've never seen her
be unkind to anyone.
1476
01:09:16,195 --> 01:09:19,329
But when we told
her, she flipped out.
1477
01:09:19,764 --> 01:09:21,113
[eerie music]
1478
01:09:21,418 --> 01:09:22,897
[Valenna] I was already
stressed out with some
1479
01:09:23,071 --> 01:09:24,595
family stuff going on.
1480
01:09:26,031 --> 01:09:28,729
LaCol had always
been my easy kid.
1481
01:09:29,817 --> 01:09:31,776
She always made
the right choices.
1482
01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:36,737
So I was so mad.
1483
01:09:36,911 --> 01:09:41,655
If he wants to marry my daughter
so bad, why couldn't he wait?
1484
01:09:43,004 --> 01:09:44,615
So I thought the worst.
1485
01:09:45,398 --> 01:09:46,356
Is she pregnant?
1486
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:48,358
Is she-- whatever.
1487
01:09:50,621 --> 01:09:52,579
But I did not handle it good.
1488
01:09:53,624 --> 01:09:55,103
I just blew up.
1489
01:09:55,365 --> 01:09:56,366
[music turns gentle]
1490
01:09:56,844 --> 01:09:58,585
[LaCol] She got up
1491
01:09:58,759 --> 01:10:01,545
in front of Ben's face,
and she let him have it.
1492
01:10:01,806 --> 01:10:03,242
["Catch You When You Die"
by Benjamin Cocks plays]
1493
01:10:03,416 --> 01:10:05,418
[lightbulbs explode and shatter]
1494
01:10:06,332 --> 01:10:12,033
♪ Oh, baby sister, we know
That God's got mercy ♪
1495
01:10:12,338 --> 01:10:14,210
[exploding]
1496
01:10:15,602 --> 01:10:21,042
♪ But not enough to
Waste on men like him ♪
1497
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:24,089
I felt like I had to protect him
1498
01:10:25,438 --> 01:10:27,048
and physically
stand between them.
1499
01:10:29,442 --> 01:10:31,270
I have never in my
life seen someone
1500
01:10:31,444 --> 01:10:32,576
take such a verbal beating.
1501
01:10:34,578 --> 01:10:36,144
And Ben just stood there.
1502
01:10:40,801 --> 01:10:44,240
It hurt him for a
really long time.
1503
01:10:45,589 --> 01:10:46,503
[exploding]
1504
01:10:46,677 --> 01:10:47,634
[Daryl] Not all of us
1505
01:10:47,808 --> 01:10:49,288
do things
1506
01:10:49,462 --> 01:10:52,987
exactly
as we should all the time.
1507
01:10:55,163 --> 01:10:57,731
Sometimes good people
have a bad day.
1508
01:10:58,863 --> 01:11:04,869
♪ Sister, put away your guns ♪
1509
01:11:07,393 --> 01:11:10,570
♪ You said it
In your own words ♪
1510
01:11:11,919 --> 01:11:14,095
♪ He'll pay for
What he's done ♪
1511
01:11:15,053 --> 01:11:17,795
They planned their
wedding really soon...
1512
01:11:18,752 --> 01:11:20,841
...and I could see how
happy they were.
1513
01:11:23,453 --> 01:11:27,805
And it made me realize my
reaction was stupid and bad.
1514
01:11:30,329 --> 01:11:33,114
I apologized to Ben
as good as I could.
1515
01:11:34,420 --> 01:11:35,769
We all wish we would have done
1516
01:11:35,943 --> 01:11:37,293
something a little
bit different.
1517
01:11:37,902 --> 01:11:38,946
Uh--
1518
01:11:44,343 --> 01:11:45,518
[Valenna] I'm just grateful...
1519
01:11:46,389 --> 01:11:48,478
...he is
such a forgiving person.
1520
01:11:51,219 --> 01:11:54,658
He's a wonderful son-in-law,
and we love him to death.
1521
01:11:55,485 --> 01:11:57,313
He fits in with our
family perfectly.
1522
01:12:00,098 --> 01:12:02,883
[LaCol] It was a really awful
experience for us to go through.
1523
01:12:03,144 --> 01:12:04,842
But as you go through
hard times together,
1524
01:12:05,016 --> 01:12:06,365
you grow closer together.
1525
01:12:06,757 --> 01:12:09,412
And that wasn't the worst
of what we would face.
1526
01:12:10,108 --> 01:12:12,937
[man on TV] We are in Omaha
for Division I wrestling.
1527
01:12:13,285 --> 01:12:14,634
[Ben] It was my junior year,
1528
01:12:15,374 --> 01:12:18,116
and I was
finally getting my opportunity.
1529
01:12:18,377 --> 01:12:19,987
And I go into nationals--
1530
01:12:20,553 --> 01:12:22,207
[female voice]
No, no, no, no, no.
1531
01:12:24,340 --> 01:12:26,472
What happened?
Guys, what happened?
1532
01:12:27,952 --> 01:12:32,304
[Ben] And I lose to two
kids I'd beat that year.
1533
01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:33,784
[female voice]
Yeah, he's done. That's it.
1534
01:12:33,958 --> 01:12:35,612
[overlapping voices]
1535
01:12:36,395 --> 01:12:38,963
[Ben] I was absolutely
depressed,
1536
01:12:39,833 --> 01:12:42,619
pointing fingers at other people
and coaches
1537
01:12:42,793 --> 01:12:44,751
and training partners,
and "Who else?" Right?
1538
01:12:45,796 --> 01:12:48,276
[LaCol] With everything we were
dealing with and now this,
it was like,
1539
01:12:48,538 --> 01:12:51,758
"Is there a reason that God
is having us go through this?
1540
01:12:51,932 --> 01:12:52,890
Like, I know there's a reason."
1541
01:12:53,238 --> 01:12:54,282
Why?
1542
01:12:54,457 --> 01:12:55,458
Why?
1543
01:12:59,070 --> 01:13:01,768
[Ben] I wanted to pack
up and go home.
1544
01:13:04,510 --> 01:13:05,772
But before I could...
1545
01:13:06,599 --> 01:13:08,732
...a friend of mine
stopped by the wrestling room.
1546
01:13:10,908 --> 01:13:13,301
[Seth] I was done wrestling,
and the reality is is...
1547
01:13:13,650 --> 01:13:16,217
...I was disgusted with
myself and my decisions, and
1548
01:13:16,522 --> 01:13:18,089
I hated myself.
1549
01:13:18,872 --> 01:13:20,874
I made every mistake
there was to make
1550
01:13:21,048 --> 01:13:22,398
along the whole entire way.
1551
01:13:23,007 --> 01:13:25,009
And I think that's why it was
so heavy on me.
1552
01:13:25,183 --> 01:13:26,358
It's 'cause it's all my fault.
1553
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:32,973
I know what it feels like
to not accomplish the goal.
1554
01:13:33,147 --> 01:13:34,497
And then actually having
to live with that.
1555
01:13:34,671 --> 01:13:35,802
Like, it's a horrible feeling.
1556
01:13:37,587 --> 01:13:40,459
And I was like, "I need to do
whatever I can do to help him."
1557
01:13:42,766 --> 01:13:44,463
We went at it for
a couple of days,
1558
01:13:45,595 --> 01:13:46,813
drilling, wrestling.
1559
01:13:47,771 --> 01:13:49,990
[Ben] And he barked in
my ear the entire time,
1560
01:13:50,948 --> 01:13:53,864
"The Ben Kjar
that I know doesn't opt out.
1561
01:13:54,255 --> 01:13:56,475
The Ben Kjar that
I know rebounds.
1562
01:13:56,736 --> 01:14:00,392
The Ben Kjar that I
know continues forward."
1563
01:14:01,611 --> 01:14:03,134
[Seth] Look, man, you gotta,
like, buck up.
1564
01:14:03,308 --> 01:14:05,397
This is do or die, like,
I'm telling you right now,
1565
01:14:05,571 --> 01:14:06,572
I know what this feels like.
1566
01:14:06,746 --> 01:14:08,182
And if you don't
place this year,
1567
01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:10,707
it is gonna chew you up
the rest of your life.
1568
01:14:11,795 --> 01:14:13,927
I want Ben to win.
I want him to win in life.
1569
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,973
I want him to win
in his marriage.
1570
01:14:16,190 --> 01:14:17,757
I want him to win in everything.
1571
01:14:18,149 --> 01:14:19,367
Something changed...
1572
01:14:21,282 --> 01:14:23,197
...and I just started believing.
1573
01:14:25,025 --> 01:14:26,418
This was my last shot.
1574
01:14:27,854 --> 01:14:29,116
Who could stop me?
1575
01:14:33,860 --> 01:14:35,253
[clears throat]
1576
01:14:36,123 --> 01:14:37,298
All right.
1577
01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:38,735
My name is Anthony Robles.
1578
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:40,737
I was born missing my leg.
1579
01:14:41,389 --> 01:14:44,088
I've been on crutches
since I can remember.
1580
01:14:44,262 --> 01:14:46,743
My mom tried to get me
to use a prosthetic leg, but
1581
01:14:46,917 --> 01:14:48,745
it was really heavy,
really hard to move around.
1582
01:14:48,919 --> 01:14:50,747
I felt like it slowed me
down in a lot of ways.
1583
01:14:51,051 --> 01:14:52,052
[whistle blows]
1584
01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:54,968
Getting into wrestling,
I was very much
1585
01:14:55,142 --> 01:14:56,796
at a disadvantage
at the beginning.
1586
01:14:57,014 --> 01:14:58,929
I said, "Okay, you know,
we just have to figure it out.
1587
01:14:59,103 --> 01:15:00,626
We just have to treat
this like a puzzle."
1588
01:15:00,931 --> 01:15:03,063
My coach and I were trying
to create a whole new style
1589
01:15:03,237 --> 01:15:04,761
of wrestling from scratch.
1590
01:15:04,978 --> 01:15:06,937
- [cheering]
- [whistle blows]
1591
01:15:07,111 --> 01:15:09,635
Going into the NCAA
tournament my senior year,
1592
01:15:09,809 --> 01:15:12,159
I was the number one seed,
and I was undefeated.
1593
01:15:12,377 --> 01:15:14,161
[upbeat music]
1594
01:15:14,335 --> 01:15:17,338
[announcer] Welcome to
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
1595
01:15:17,817 --> 01:15:20,994
where tonight, the nation's
best collegiate athletes will
1596
01:15:21,168 --> 01:15:23,475
compete for a national title.
1597
01:15:23,736 --> 01:15:26,173
[Seth] In the wrestling
world, NCAA All-American
1598
01:15:26,347 --> 01:15:28,088
is like the pinnacle
of the sport.
1599
01:15:28,262 --> 01:15:30,874
It is the toughest tournament
in the planet to place that,
1600
01:15:31,048 --> 01:15:32,005
to be honest with you.
1601
01:15:32,179 --> 01:15:33,093
And there's 20,000 people
1602
01:15:33,267 --> 01:15:34,530
watching you and screaming
1603
01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:36,009
and hollering,
and it's like the best
1604
01:15:36,183 --> 01:15:37,968
of the best... of the best.
1605
01:15:39,709 --> 01:15:41,362
[Ben] Because I'd lost to guys
1606
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:42,625
that I should
never have lost to,
1607
01:15:42,799 --> 01:15:44,801
I went into nationals unranked.
1608
01:15:45,453 --> 01:15:47,804
His path to get on that podium?
1609
01:15:47,978 --> 01:15:49,457
That was a very
loaded weight class.
1610
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:51,547
You have an undefeated
wrestler seeded fourth.
1611
01:15:53,897 --> 01:15:56,943
The fifth seed becomes a
four-time All-American.
1612
01:15:58,292 --> 01:16:00,686
That's who he had to go
through to be an All-American.
1613
01:16:01,644 --> 01:16:04,647
[Ben] My first match was with
the guy from Hofstra,
1614
01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:07,824
and I think he ate, like,
rocks in the morning.
1615
01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:09,913
This dude was bad.
1616
01:16:10,696 --> 01:16:13,960
[announcer] Takedown,
and Kjar is in control.
1617
01:16:14,352 --> 01:16:16,136
[Ben]
And I got through him, beat him.
1618
01:16:16,310 --> 01:16:17,398
[whistle blows]
1619
01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:20,271
And then I'd go into the
next match against a kid
1620
01:16:20,445 --> 01:16:22,447
from Old Dominion. Undefeated.
1621
01:16:22,795 --> 01:16:24,275
Top four in the country.
1622
01:16:25,232 --> 01:16:26,973
Tall, strong.
1623
01:16:28,148 --> 01:16:29,672
[announcer]
That was a nail biter,
1624
01:16:29,846 --> 01:16:32,152
but Ben Kjar is going to win
this match.
1625
01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:33,806
[Ben] And I beat him.
1626
01:16:34,328 --> 01:16:36,940
The unranked person
beat the undefeated guy.
1627
01:16:38,202 --> 01:16:41,509
It was the best
he's looked, ever.
1628
01:16:41,901 --> 01:16:45,078
He wrestled every
single match exactly how
1629
01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,602
he needed to wrestle
those matches.
1630
01:16:50,736 --> 01:16:52,738
[Ben]
I come out in the quarterfinals.
1631
01:16:53,521 --> 01:16:56,046
Utah Valley never
had an All-American.
1632
01:16:57,003 --> 01:16:58,918
And if I win this match,
1633
01:16:59,310 --> 01:17:01,704
the unranked kid
1634
01:17:02,008 --> 01:17:03,314
would be an All-American.
1635
01:17:05,316 --> 01:17:08,580
But I had to beat Zach Sanders
from Minnesota, who was
1636
01:17:08,754 --> 01:17:10,713
a multiple-time All-American.
1637
01:17:11,583 --> 01:17:16,457
Bad dude, short, stocky,
mean, fast, had heavy hands.
1638
01:17:17,067 --> 01:17:18,242
I'd never beat him.
1639
01:17:20,157 --> 01:17:22,289
Earlier in the year,
we wrestled him.
1640
01:17:22,725 --> 01:17:25,553
Ben was trying to
do his rotation,
1641
01:17:25,728 --> 01:17:27,686
that he was trying to do
off bottom to get an escape.
1642
01:17:27,860 --> 01:17:29,949
And Sanders kept bumping
him off and bumping him off,
1643
01:17:30,123 --> 01:17:32,691
so he kept having to get back
to his hands, back to his hands.
1644
01:17:32,865 --> 01:17:34,171
And he just kept doing that.
1645
01:17:34,345 --> 01:17:35,868
We got ridden out
for the two minutes,
1646
01:17:36,042 --> 01:17:37,348
so we lost 2 to 0.
1647
01:17:38,958 --> 01:17:41,744
Fast forward to nationals...
same scenario.
1648
01:17:42,222 --> 01:17:43,528
All we needed to
do when he was--
1649
01:17:43,702 --> 01:17:44,964
kept bumping and
bumping and bumping
1650
01:17:45,138 --> 01:17:46,574
was just... slide with it.
1651
01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:48,054
- Ben does that.
- [crowd cheering]
1652
01:17:50,187 --> 01:17:52,145
He got out, and that's
where it changed.
1653
01:17:52,406 --> 01:17:54,191
[announcer]
Kjar with the takedown.
1654
01:17:54,974 --> 01:17:56,846
- Sanders is stunned.
- [whistle blows]
1655
01:17:57,455 --> 01:17:59,022
Took him down twice
in that period.
1656
01:18:00,545 --> 01:18:01,764
That was the match.
1657
01:18:03,374 --> 01:18:06,203
[Ben] Utah Valley University's
first ever All-American,
1658
01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:08,596
and I was a bracket-buster.
1659
01:18:08,771 --> 01:18:11,338
ESPN SportsCenter was saying,
"He's shattering the brackets.
1660
01:18:11,512 --> 01:18:15,038
This kid from Utah Valley
University-- who is this kid?"
1661
01:18:15,255 --> 01:18:18,955
[announcer]
Out of nowhere, Ben Kjar has
erupted into the semifinals.
1662
01:18:19,129 --> 01:18:23,786
I started to believe that maybe
I could be a national champion.
1663
01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:25,526
[cheering]
1664
01:18:25,918 --> 01:18:27,746
[announcer] And just like that,
Anthony Robles
1665
01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:29,356
gets a one-point escape.
1666
01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:32,142
[Anthony] Going into the
semis, I was rolling.
1667
01:18:32,969 --> 01:18:34,622
They were pretty
convincing wins.
1668
01:18:35,711 --> 01:18:39,236
Robles was a monster on
the mat, and he dominated
1669
01:18:39,410 --> 01:18:41,151
almost everybody he wrestled.
1670
01:18:41,325 --> 01:18:44,154
[announcer] Once again,
Robles is an All-American.
1671
01:18:44,328 --> 01:18:45,808
[Shandell] This guy is probably
six feet tall,
1672
01:18:45,982 --> 01:18:49,072
and you're talking about
the length of 170-pounder.
1673
01:18:49,246 --> 01:18:51,204
But in reality, because
he didn't have a leg, he...
1674
01:18:51,814 --> 01:18:53,772
qualified at 125 pounds.
1675
01:18:54,991 --> 01:18:56,688
[Jack] When he started
wrestling, people would say,
"Well...
1676
01:18:57,384 --> 01:18:59,169
he can't
do anything with one leg."
1677
01:18:59,343 --> 01:19:01,171
And I didn't recruit him out
of high school,
1678
01:19:01,345 --> 01:19:02,476
you know,
for that reason.
1679
01:19:02,650 --> 01:19:04,609
But at the end of it,
1680
01:19:04,783 --> 01:19:06,567
they were saying,
"Well, he's got an advantage.
1681
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:07,873
Look how big he is.
1682
01:19:08,178 --> 01:19:09,832
He's got an advantage
with one leg."
1683
01:19:10,223 --> 01:19:13,139
Yeah, my friend, you
hack off your leg
1684
01:19:13,357 --> 01:19:15,011
and see how well you do.
1685
01:19:15,185 --> 01:19:16,882
[announcer] Congratulations
to Anthony Robles.
1686
01:19:17,056 --> 01:19:18,928
He'll move on to face Ben Kjar.
1687
01:19:19,102 --> 01:19:21,713
[Shandell] I knew it was gonna
be a tight match.
1688
01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:23,323
You don't train your whole life
1689
01:19:23,497 --> 01:19:26,587
to beat a wrestler
with only one leg.
1690
01:19:28,111 --> 01:19:29,503
[Anthony] Going into the
semis against Ben,
1691
01:19:29,677 --> 01:19:31,941
you're one match away
from punching your ticket
1692
01:19:32,115 --> 01:19:33,246
into the finals.
1693
01:19:33,725 --> 01:19:36,119
So that round brings a
lot of pressure with it.
1694
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:37,729
And it's on ESPN live.
1695
01:19:37,903 --> 01:19:39,905
The crowd's going insane.
1696
01:19:40,340 --> 01:19:42,908
And then on top of that,
it was-- we were friends.
1697
01:19:44,736 --> 01:19:47,086
Anthony is, like,
one of my heroes.
1698
01:19:47,695 --> 01:19:49,828
I've known Anthony
for a long time.
1699
01:19:50,002 --> 01:19:51,787
- [whistle blowing]
- [Anthony] Ben and I had been
1700
01:19:51,961 --> 01:19:54,615
competing against each other
since true freshman year.
1701
01:19:55,181 --> 01:19:57,270
[Ben] Him and I wrestled back
and forth, and I had beat him
1702
01:19:57,444 --> 01:19:58,706
and he had beat me.
1703
01:20:00,447 --> 01:20:03,102
He was wrestling similar
challenges that I was wrestling.
1704
01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:04,321
- [whistle blows]
- [man] Woo!
1705
01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:07,846
[Anthony] I expected a battle.
1706
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:10,762
[announcer] And here we go.
1707
01:20:10,936 --> 01:20:12,503
The semifinals are underway.
1708
01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:16,812
It was the poster child
against the Cinderella story.
1709
01:20:17,725 --> 01:20:20,816
[announcer] After one period, we
are still scoreless here.
1710
01:20:21,642 --> 01:20:23,079
[Katie] You see these
two men come on the mat,
1711
01:20:23,253 --> 01:20:25,385
and you know that there's
nothing but character
1712
01:20:25,646 --> 01:20:27,083
going head to head here.
1713
01:20:28,214 --> 01:20:32,088
[announcer]
Kjar has been unable to get an
escape in the second period.
1714
01:20:33,306 --> 01:20:35,787
It was extremely close
from start to finish.
1715
01:20:37,180 --> 01:20:38,485
[announcer]
Robles gets an escape...
1716
01:20:38,659 --> 01:20:40,096
[cheering]
1717
01:20:41,010 --> 01:20:42,707
...and now there's a takedown.
1718
01:20:42,881 --> 01:20:44,578
Robles goes up 3-0.
1719
01:20:44,752 --> 01:20:46,232
[Anthony] Both of us left our
heart on that mat
1720
01:20:46,406 --> 01:20:47,755
and fought to the very end.
1721
01:20:48,365 --> 01:20:50,410
[announcer]
And now Kjar gets an escape.
1722
01:20:50,671 --> 01:20:52,108
It's 3-1, Robles.
1723
01:20:52,369 --> 01:20:54,066
It came down to a last scramble.
1724
01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:57,504
[announcer] Kjar can tie it up
with a takedown here.
1725
01:20:58,114 --> 01:20:59,811
Right at the end, you know,
Ben's shooting,
1726
01:20:59,985 --> 01:21:01,465
and you kinda see that extra
1727
01:21:01,639 --> 01:21:02,901
- umph.
- [whistle blows]
1728
01:21:03,206 --> 01:21:04,642
[announcer]
Kjar gets the takedown.
1729
01:21:05,164 --> 01:21:07,123
Oh, but it's after the whistle.
1730
01:21:07,427 --> 01:21:08,602
No overtime.
1731
01:21:08,776 --> 01:21:10,474
This one is over.
1732
01:21:10,691 --> 01:21:12,258
If we had had five more
seconds in the match,
1733
01:21:12,432 --> 01:21:14,391
he would have tied it,
sent it into overtime.
1734
01:21:14,782 --> 01:21:15,827
It was that close.
1735
01:21:17,960 --> 01:21:20,353
[Ben] I gave him the closest
match he had in that tournament,
1736
01:21:20,527 --> 01:21:22,660
but... he had a better match.
1737
01:21:26,229 --> 01:21:28,361
[Anthony] When you lose in
tight situations like that.
1738
01:21:28,535 --> 01:21:30,276
It can be heartbreaking.
There's poor sports.
1739
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:31,669
You know, there's guys that
throw tantrums.
1740
01:21:31,843 --> 01:21:32,800
There's guys that just
slap your hand
1741
01:21:32,975 --> 01:21:34,280
and walk away.
1742
01:21:34,498 --> 01:21:36,152
Ben-- You know, I just
remember I could--
1743
01:21:36,326 --> 01:21:37,631
I could see the pain in
his face...
1744
01:21:38,241 --> 01:21:40,896
...but he was still so gracious,
even in that moment of a defeat.
1745
01:21:41,592 --> 01:21:42,898
You know,
he still shook my hand.
1746
01:21:43,072 --> 01:21:44,508
I remember we hugged
afterwards, and...
1747
01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,814
...Ben, to me, is an example
of what a true champion is.
1748
01:21:47,163 --> 01:21:48,773
You know, like, yeah,
it's-- it's easy to win
1749
01:21:48,947 --> 01:21:50,166
and be gracious,
1750
01:21:50,383 --> 01:21:51,819
but, you know,
how do you handle a loss?
1751
01:21:51,994 --> 01:21:53,647
[cheering]
1752
01:21:53,821 --> 01:21:56,607
[Jack] As he was walking off the
mat, everybody's cheering.
1753
01:21:56,781 --> 01:21:58,217
And my sister says to me,
1754
01:21:58,696 --> 01:22:00,959
"Why are they cheering
that he lost?"
1755
01:22:01,829 --> 01:22:03,309
I said, "Honey...
1756
01:22:04,354 --> 01:22:06,095
...they weren't
cheering that he lost.
1757
01:22:06,704 --> 01:22:08,358
They were cheering the
magnificence...
1758
01:22:09,141 --> 01:22:10,577
...of his performance."
1759
01:22:12,014 --> 01:22:13,363
[Greg] It was amazing.
1760
01:22:13,624 --> 01:22:15,800
Fans at the NCAA tournament,
they get it,
1761
01:22:15,974 --> 01:22:18,716
and the respect that was
there was-- was incredible.
1762
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:22,328
- [cheering]
- [inaudible]
1763
01:22:23,939 --> 01:22:26,158
[Ben] It was hard for me
to lose my last match,
1764
01:22:26,332 --> 01:22:27,812
and it didn't sit well with me.
1765
01:22:28,987 --> 01:22:30,946
But I tried to forget
it and celebrate
1766
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,513
the victory of being Utah
Valley University's first ever
1767
01:22:33,687 --> 01:22:34,688
All-American.
1768
01:22:37,343 --> 01:22:41,478
My greatest memory is being able
to hear the PA announcer say
1769
01:22:41,652 --> 01:22:43,828
"Ben Kjar is Utah Valley
University's first
1770
01:22:44,133 --> 01:22:45,656
NCAA All-American."
1771
01:22:46,222 --> 01:22:47,788
[announcer]
From Utah Valley University,
1772
01:22:48,224 --> 01:22:50,661
All-American, Ben Kjar.
1773
01:22:50,835 --> 01:22:53,272
[cheering]
1774
01:22:54,404 --> 01:22:56,449
The first
All-American from Utah...
1775
01:22:56,623 --> 01:22:59,626
That really, for the first
time, put Utah Valley University
1776
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:02,238
on the map on a national scale.
1777
01:23:02,412 --> 01:23:03,456
[projector whirs]
1778
01:23:04,588 --> 01:23:06,938
[Seth] You're stoked. You're
happy for him, you know? Like--
1779
01:23:07,156 --> 01:23:08,548
It's almost like we won.
1780
01:23:08,766 --> 01:23:11,377
When he wins, we win
'cause he's a friend.
1781
01:23:12,422 --> 01:23:14,380
[Jack] And this is
the wonder of sport, right?
1782
01:23:14,554 --> 01:23:16,687
You say, "Well, they can't
do that," and then they do.
1783
01:23:16,904 --> 01:23:20,256
It opened up a lot
of doors for others
1784
01:23:20,430 --> 01:23:22,258
that may have questioned,
"Well, can I do this?"
1785
01:23:22,432 --> 01:23:23,476
W-- Well, Anthony did.
1786
01:23:24,129 --> 01:23:25,174
Well, Ben did.
1787
01:23:25,565 --> 01:23:27,176
[cheering and clapping]
1788
01:23:27,350 --> 01:23:29,830
[Scott] It's just the things of
what dreams are made of.
1789
01:23:30,875 --> 01:23:32,964
The respect that
I have for Ben.
1790
01:23:33,138 --> 01:23:34,574
The ability to--
1791
01:23:34,879 --> 01:23:36,750
It isn't winning.
It's achieving.
1792
01:23:39,101 --> 01:23:41,581
You belong on that podium.
1793
01:23:45,585 --> 01:23:47,283
[cheering fades]
1794
01:23:47,544 --> 01:23:49,024
[waves crashing]
1795
01:23:53,506 --> 01:23:56,118
We were on a family
vacation, all of us.
1796
01:23:57,728 --> 01:24:00,165
Ben and LaCol-- one night,
they just went out and said,
1797
01:24:00,339 --> 01:24:01,775
"We gotta go out for a walk."
1798
01:24:03,647 --> 01:24:07,259
[Stana] I had a couple of our
kids say, "Is Ben okay?"
1799
01:24:07,433 --> 01:24:08,478
Something's going on.
1800
01:24:08,652 --> 01:24:09,914
You know, something is wrong.
1801
01:24:10,393 --> 01:24:11,959
[gentle music]
1802
01:24:12,960 --> 01:24:14,527
[LaCol] Those years after
the NCAA tournament
1803
01:24:14,701 --> 01:24:16,486
were a really hard
time in our marriage.
1804
01:24:18,792 --> 01:24:21,621
We decided that we
would start our family.
1805
01:24:22,883 --> 01:24:26,235
And... it didn't come so easy.
1806
01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:30,500
[LaCol] It was eight years that
we tried to have kids.
1807
01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:33,764
We got some doctors
involved eventually,
1808
01:24:33,938 --> 01:24:36,332
and... we did
four rounds of IVF.
1809
01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:40,205
And with two of those rounds,
we had pregnancies happen.
1810
01:24:41,163 --> 01:24:44,644
And about week ten of the
pregnancies,
1811
01:24:44,862 --> 01:24:46,124
we lost the baby.
1812
01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:52,043
It was... emotionally draining.
1813
01:24:53,958 --> 01:24:56,482
And then we decided
we'll try adoption.
1814
01:24:57,309 --> 01:24:59,137
[Ben]
We decided not to tell anybody.
1815
01:24:59,355 --> 01:25:01,400
We don't wanna have
people be like, "Oh, poor you,
1816
01:25:01,574 --> 01:25:03,533
poor you,"
and feel like victims, right?
1817
01:25:03,881 --> 01:25:06,536
So nobody in my family even knew
about the miscarriage,
1818
01:25:06,971 --> 01:25:08,668
let alone the adoption.
1819
01:25:10,453 --> 01:25:12,237
I was so nervous
going into these
1820
01:25:12,411 --> 01:25:14,109
- adoption agencies.
- [mouse clicks]
1821
01:25:14,413 --> 01:25:16,198
You would be
expected to fill out
1822
01:25:16,372 --> 01:25:19,157
this application with pictures
of you, of what you look like.
1823
01:25:21,203 --> 01:25:25,076
What if they wouldn't choose
us because I look different?
1824
01:25:26,556 --> 01:25:29,776
But after we had put
in our application,
1825
01:25:30,734 --> 01:25:33,345
we had a birth mother
immediately matched with us.
1826
01:25:33,519 --> 01:25:34,955
[bright music]
1827
01:25:35,217 --> 01:25:37,044
[Ben] And she was pregnant
with a beautiful girl.
1828
01:25:38,307 --> 01:25:40,961
Every month, we would be
paying for her housing and all
1829
01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:42,180
her expenses.
1830
01:25:42,789 --> 01:25:44,748
And then after
the last payment...
1831
01:25:44,922 --> 01:25:45,966
[email tone]
1832
01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:47,664
...we'd find out
through an email
1833
01:25:47,838 --> 01:25:49,492
that she would keep the baby.
1834
01:25:50,362 --> 01:25:51,668
[somber music]
1835
01:25:52,016 --> 01:25:55,933
Later, we were matched
with another birth mom.
1836
01:25:56,281 --> 01:25:59,154
And for six months,
we were so excited,
1837
01:25:59,328 --> 01:26:02,766
paying her every month for room
and board and living expenses.
1838
01:26:03,593 --> 01:26:06,117
And then she stopped showing
up to the medical appointments.
1839
01:26:06,291 --> 01:26:07,727
[thunder rumbles]
1840
01:26:08,859 --> 01:26:13,559
We would find out that she
was placing the same baby girl
1841
01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,127
with two other families,
1842
01:26:16,606 --> 01:26:19,174
and she
was financially triple-dipping.
1843
01:26:20,349 --> 01:26:21,915
We were tons of money out.
1844
01:26:22,089 --> 01:26:24,135
["Catch You When You Die"
by Benjamin Cocks plays]
1845
01:26:24,309 --> 01:26:27,182
♪ They'll take
Everything you have ♪
1846
01:26:29,662 --> 01:26:31,664
♪ And dress you up in red ♪
1847
01:26:31,838 --> 01:26:33,231
[Ben] That was one
of the hardest things
1848
01:26:33,405 --> 01:26:34,493
I ever went through...
1849
01:26:35,538 --> 01:26:39,281
...because now I had someone
else who was involved,
1850
01:26:39,455 --> 01:26:43,502
who was a part of this
journey that seemed to be,
1851
01:26:44,547 --> 01:26:47,898
like... never-ending fails.
1852
01:26:48,899 --> 01:26:51,206
♪ You'll think of
What you've done ♪
1853
01:26:53,686 --> 01:26:55,906
♪ Of what you have become ♪
1854
01:26:57,342 --> 01:27:01,607
My wife just pounded on
my chest and just bawled.
1855
01:27:03,609 --> 01:27:06,264
We were complaining to each
other about the frustrations
1856
01:27:06,438 --> 01:27:09,311
and the anger and
how mad we were.
1857
01:27:09,485 --> 01:27:10,877
[rain falling]
1858
01:27:11,661 --> 01:27:13,967
We would look up to God
and say, "God, why us?"
1859
01:27:14,141 --> 01:27:16,753
- [thunder rumbling]
- [music fades]
1860
01:27:17,014 --> 01:27:18,885
It just felt like we
were living a nightmare.
1861
01:27:21,105 --> 01:27:22,193
[buzzing]
1862
01:27:22,846 --> 01:27:25,805
And literally, the next
morning we get a call.
1863
01:27:27,285 --> 01:27:30,897
"Hey, Ben and LaCol, how
would you like to be parents?
1864
01:27:31,594 --> 01:27:32,986
[engine buzzing]
1865
01:27:34,640 --> 01:27:36,468
- [gentle music]
- There's a baby boy.
1866
01:27:36,816 --> 01:27:38,688
He was actually
born last night."
1867
01:27:39,819 --> 01:27:42,561
[LaCol] It was incredible
to hear those words.
1868
01:27:44,433 --> 01:27:46,652
Of course.
Of course, we want that boy.
1869
01:27:50,830 --> 01:27:54,704
Fifteen hours later,
from phone call to touch down...
1870
01:27:55,574 --> 01:27:56,575
...we're parents.
1871
01:27:58,055 --> 01:27:59,709
She hands me this baby.
1872
01:28:01,406 --> 01:28:04,279
He's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
1873
01:28:07,978 --> 01:28:09,980
And we just couldn't believe it.
1874
01:28:11,373 --> 01:28:14,593
And the best part was my family
has no clue
1875
01:28:14,767 --> 01:28:16,291
[chuckling]
at this point, right?
1876
01:28:18,510 --> 01:28:20,077
[uplifting music]
1877
01:28:21,339 --> 01:28:23,994
- This is absolutely nuts.
[laughs]
- [gasps]
1878
01:28:24,168 --> 01:28:27,693
When we came home, we were
able to surprise our families.
1879
01:28:27,867 --> 01:28:30,348
They knew nothing
about the adoption.
1880
01:28:32,655 --> 01:28:35,788
[Ben] We get the whole
family at this dinner.
1881
01:28:36,702 --> 01:28:39,270
We're all chatting, and then
there's a knock, knock, knock.
1882
01:28:39,444 --> 01:28:40,837
[knocking]
1883
01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:42,317
[Stana] There's another
thing at the door?
1884
01:28:42,491 --> 01:28:43,927
- [man] What is it?
- Uh, that's a baby.
1885
01:28:44,101 --> 01:28:47,974
There's a little baby
boy on our front porch.
1886
01:28:48,410 --> 01:28:49,324
No, it isn't.
1887
01:28:49,498 --> 01:28:50,890
- It's a baby.
- [gasps]
1888
01:28:51,282 --> 01:28:52,892
- No, it isn't.
- What is happening?
1889
01:28:53,066 --> 01:28:54,111
[gasps]
1890
01:28:54,416 --> 01:28:55,982
We're saying, "What is this?"
1891
01:28:56,592 --> 01:28:58,420
- Who brought this baby?
- [woman] No.
1892
01:28:58,855 --> 01:29:00,683
As we're looking
around, kinda frantic,
1893
01:29:00,857 --> 01:29:01,858
trying to figure this out,
1894
01:29:02,032 --> 01:29:03,033
we see a different look
1895
01:29:03,207 --> 01:29:04,687
on Ben and LaCol's face.
1896
01:29:04,948 --> 01:29:06,166
[woman] Ben, Ben.
1897
01:29:06,341 --> 01:29:08,168
- Ben, is this yours?
- [woman] Ben.
1898
01:29:08,343 --> 01:29:09,953
No. Is this yours?
1899
01:29:10,388 --> 01:29:11,955
[shouting, crying]
1900
01:29:16,699 --> 01:29:18,396
Are you serious? [screaming]
1901
01:29:19,005 --> 01:29:21,138
- [screaming and shouting]
- [overlapping voices]
1902
01:29:21,791 --> 01:29:26,709
And it was like the floodgates
opened, of joy, of tears,
1903
01:29:27,013 --> 01:29:28,711
of gratitude.
1904
01:29:30,234 --> 01:29:32,018
[voice breaking]
This prayer has been answered.
1905
01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:38,721
[overlapping, indistinct voices]
1906
01:29:38,895 --> 01:29:41,854
Of course, we thought
that was the surprise.
1907
01:29:42,986 --> 01:29:45,075
And then, as we were
loving on this little baby
1908
01:29:45,249 --> 01:29:46,990
and asking all these questions
1909
01:29:47,164 --> 01:29:48,948
and crying and giving
gratitude...
1910
01:29:49,122 --> 01:29:50,167
[sniffles]
1911
01:29:50,820 --> 01:29:52,299
...there's another doorbell.
1912
01:29:52,474 --> 01:29:54,127
- [doorbell ringing]
- No, you gotta be kidding.
1913
01:29:54,301 --> 01:29:55,520
- No!
- [overlapping voices]
1914
01:29:59,350 --> 01:30:02,048
[Ben] Right after we'd signed
the papers to adopt Liam,
1915
01:30:02,484 --> 01:30:04,094
the adoption director says,
1916
01:30:04,268 --> 01:30:06,226
"I just barely
got off the phone...
1917
01:30:07,663 --> 01:30:09,404
...with another birth mom.
1918
01:30:12,232 --> 01:30:13,408
Baby girl.
1919
01:30:14,539 --> 01:30:15,540
What do you think?"
1920
01:30:16,323 --> 01:30:18,413
[shouting and laughter]
1921
01:30:19,196 --> 01:30:20,415
[screaming]
1922
01:30:20,589 --> 01:30:22,199
Oh, my gosh.
1923
01:30:22,634 --> 01:30:23,635
[screaming continues]
1924
01:30:25,594 --> 01:30:29,554
To top it off with a second
one, you see my wife go crazy.
1925
01:30:29,859 --> 01:30:30,860
[woman] A girl.
1926
01:30:31,034 --> 01:30:32,688
[screams]
1927
01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:36,822
[Stana] When you pray so long
for something to happen,
1928
01:30:36,996 --> 01:30:38,171
when God delivers...
1929
01:30:40,304 --> 01:30:41,871
...He really delivers.
1930
01:30:45,831 --> 01:30:47,703
[Scott] Ben has always dreamed
about being a father,
1931
01:30:47,877 --> 01:30:49,574
and he loves being a father.
1932
01:30:51,141 --> 01:30:52,838
LaCol loves being a mom.
1933
01:30:54,231 --> 01:30:57,321
It was one of those days that
you'll never, ever forget.
1934
01:30:57,669 --> 01:30:58,931
[uplifting music]
1935
01:31:04,241 --> 01:31:07,723
[LaCol] We had created a
video of the surprise.
1936
01:31:09,551 --> 01:31:12,205
Initially, it was just
supposed to be for us.
1937
01:31:13,598 --> 01:31:16,079
Well, it ended up
kinda going viral.
1938
01:31:17,036 --> 01:31:20,953
This is, in my opinion, the
greatest baby reveal ever made.
1939
01:31:21,127 --> 01:31:23,086
I love this video.
1940
01:31:23,390 --> 01:31:27,438
[Katie] People from all over the
world were so inspired by it.
1941
01:31:27,612 --> 01:31:31,094
There are beautiful things
going on in this world
1942
01:31:31,268 --> 01:31:32,922
that you would think
are impossible,
1943
01:31:33,096 --> 01:31:34,271
but they are happening.
1944
01:31:35,925 --> 01:31:37,056
[somber music]
1945
01:31:37,753 --> 01:31:39,406
[LaCol]
Of course, with any video,
1946
01:31:39,581 --> 01:31:42,497
you'll get some negative
things that are said.
1947
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:47,066
These comments
were all new to me.
1948
01:31:47,240 --> 01:31:49,852
I had never been bullied before.
1949
01:31:50,548 --> 01:31:53,725
To have someone say these
mean horrible things
1950
01:31:53,899 --> 01:31:57,424
about my husband, the person
that I love the most...
1951
01:31:58,469 --> 01:31:59,426
[sighs] It--
1952
01:31:59,601 --> 01:32:01,428
A-- At first, I'd get angry.
1953
01:32:05,041 --> 01:32:06,129
[Ben] I wanted to hide.
1954
01:32:08,958 --> 01:32:12,222
I wanted to react with
anger and resentment.
1955
01:32:14,311 --> 01:32:17,444
I tried to laugh it off,
but I couldn't.
1956
01:32:18,794 --> 01:32:20,012
[Stana] What would you do in
1957
01:32:20,186 --> 01:32:22,145
this scenario
for this person that
1958
01:32:22,319 --> 01:32:23,233
just said this?
1959
01:32:23,407 --> 01:32:24,756
What would your response be?
1960
01:32:27,106 --> 01:32:29,282
[Ben] When you're backed
against a wall of hate...
1961
01:32:31,894 --> 01:32:33,199
...what are you gonna choose?
1962
01:32:33,460 --> 01:32:35,027
[somber music]
1963
01:32:39,336 --> 01:32:41,730
Finally, I responded
back to a comment
1964
01:32:41,904 --> 01:32:43,079
from a kid I'd never met.
1965
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:45,385
[heartwarming music]
1966
01:32:47,910 --> 01:32:50,129
I never expected to
hear back from him.
1967
01:32:52,958 --> 01:32:55,874
Five years later, he reached
out to me on social media,
1968
01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:58,137
and that moment changed my life.
1969
01:33:04,753 --> 01:33:06,755
It showed me, instead of
1970
01:33:06,929 --> 01:33:08,539
you know,
calling people "round face"
1971
01:33:08,713 --> 01:33:11,411
or running away or laughing
it off, I can be me.
1972
01:33:13,283 --> 01:33:14,327
I am enough.
1973
01:33:15,154 --> 01:33:17,287
And all that
I'm meant to be is me.
1974
01:33:17,809 --> 01:33:19,158
[inaudible]
1975
01:33:29,038 --> 01:33:31,431
[Stana] One of the women that
wrote something very mean,
1976
01:33:31,606 --> 01:33:33,085
she wrote back and said,
1977
01:33:33,956 --> 01:33:36,001
"My son's name was Liam,
1978
01:33:36,175 --> 01:33:37,699
and he passed away.
1979
01:33:38,134 --> 01:33:42,704
When I read about you getting
a baby and his name was Liam,"
1980
01:33:42,965 --> 01:33:45,620
she said, "I exploded."
1981
01:33:46,838 --> 01:33:48,753
[LaCol] And she said,
"The way that you responded
1982
01:33:48,927 --> 01:33:50,233
changed my life.
1983
01:33:50,407 --> 01:33:53,628
And I have, since then,
been trying to...
1984
01:33:53,889 --> 01:33:56,892
...be that person that
you told me I should be."
1985
01:33:59,285 --> 01:34:01,548
It's happened so many times.
1986
01:34:03,594 --> 01:34:07,293
People will come back, and
you'll see that change.
1987
01:34:07,816 --> 01:34:09,121
[inaudible]
1988
01:34:09,818 --> 01:34:11,646
Recently,
Ben and I were able to take
1989
01:34:11,820 --> 01:34:14,649
my mom to a retreat for kids
with craniofacial differences.
1990
01:34:19,741 --> 01:34:22,700
She was loving on these kids,
1991
01:34:22,874 --> 01:34:24,267
loving on them.
1992
01:34:24,571 --> 01:34:27,574
And they were able to
feel her love to be there.
1993
01:34:28,575 --> 01:34:29,707
[inaudible]
1994
01:34:30,403 --> 01:34:33,145
[Valenna] You just have so much
love for those kids.
1995
01:34:34,016 --> 01:34:38,150
Looking in their face,
it's like looking at angels.
1996
01:34:41,850 --> 01:34:45,070
[Ben] I have such good
people in my corner.
1997
01:34:49,596 --> 01:34:51,555
[Shandell] Life is full of a
bunch of choices.
1998
01:34:53,775 --> 01:34:56,995
We can make excuses,
or we can just...
1999
01:34:57,343 --> 01:34:59,606
chew the excuses up
and swallow 'em
2000
01:34:59,998 --> 01:35:01,783
and never
let them leave our mouth.
2001
01:35:01,957 --> 01:35:04,742
And we can keep going and
doing the hard things.
2002
01:35:06,091 --> 01:35:07,658
And then you end up like Ben.
2003
01:35:13,533 --> 01:35:16,406
[Ben] I still think about that
story at the Pool of Bethesda...
2004
01:35:18,538 --> 01:35:19,626
...but it's different now.
2005
01:35:21,803 --> 01:35:23,239
I'm no longer the man who waits.
2006
01:35:23,413 --> 01:35:25,284
[music increasing]
2007
01:35:26,416 --> 01:35:27,983
[water splashes]
2008
01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:54,792
[music fades]
2009
01:36:04,236 --> 01:36:05,672
[doorbell ringing]
2010
01:36:07,413 --> 01:36:09,807
Oh, my gosh.
2011
01:36:09,981 --> 01:36:11,809
[screaming]
2012
01:36:15,073 --> 01:36:16,466
Oh, my goodness.
2013
01:36:17,336 --> 01:36:19,904
I can't believe we
fell for this twice.
2014
01:36:20,078 --> 01:36:21,427
[laughter]
2015
01:36:25,910 --> 01:36:27,782
[stadium announcement]
2016
01:36:27,956 --> 01:36:28,957
[announcer]
And that is going to do it
2017
01:36:29,131 --> 01:36:30,654
for All-American, Ben Kjar.
2018
01:36:31,133 --> 01:36:32,656
He finishes fourth overall.
2019
01:36:39,837 --> 01:36:41,273
[man on microphone
speaking indistinctly]
2020
01:36:41,447 --> 01:36:42,448
Sixty-seven.
2021
01:36:43,885 --> 01:36:45,234
[Rowan] Go, Dad!
2022
01:36:45,408 --> 01:36:46,713
- [indistinct]
- [whistle blows]
2023
01:36:47,279 --> 01:36:48,933
- [groaning]
- [man] Oh!
2024
01:36:53,242 --> 01:36:54,983
[stadium announcement]
2025
01:36:58,029 --> 01:37:00,031
[cheering]
2026
01:37:02,120 --> 01:37:03,426
[woman] Yeah, Ben!
2027
01:37:06,908 --> 01:37:08,300
[crowd cheering]
2028
01:37:14,437 --> 01:37:16,047
[uplifting music]
2029
01:37:50,473 --> 01:37:52,257
[reporter]
Tani Taufa has autism.
2030
01:37:52,431 --> 01:37:54,085
It makes it tough for him
to communicate,
2031
01:37:54,259 --> 01:37:56,174
especially in social situations.
2032
01:37:56,522 --> 01:37:57,697
Then he found wrestling.
2033
01:37:57,872 --> 01:37:59,395
[Ben] Roll it. Nice. Good job.
2034
01:37:59,569 --> 01:38:01,353
He started training
with coach, Ben Kjar.
2035
01:38:01,527 --> 01:38:03,790
[Ben] There's just that
inner understanding of,
2036
01:38:03,965 --> 01:38:06,445
"I got your back 'cause I know
you've been where I've been."
2037
01:38:07,359 --> 01:38:09,492
It felt like good things
are finally
2038
01:38:09,666 --> 01:38:12,321
gonna come to me in my life,
alongside Ben.
2039
01:38:13,278 --> 01:38:15,106
[music continues]
2040
01:38:34,125 --> 01:38:35,953
[girl] When I was younger,
watching TV, all the villains
2041
01:38:36,127 --> 01:38:38,303
had scars and deformities
and everything.
2042
01:38:38,738 --> 01:38:42,220
They portray us as
monsters, ugly, unworthy.
2043
01:38:42,394 --> 01:38:44,048
Like, I didn't
think I had a place.
2044
01:38:44,831 --> 01:38:47,617
Ben-- he's a representation
for the whole community
2045
01:38:47,791 --> 01:38:50,489
to create dreams or
create goals for yourself.
2046
01:38:51,838 --> 01:38:53,014
I know that he's able to do it.
2047
01:38:53,188 --> 01:38:54,276
Why can I not do it?
2048
01:39:09,073 --> 01:39:10,248
[crowd] I was born to stand out!
2049
01:39:10,422 --> 01:39:12,076
[Ben] I was born to stand out!
2050
01:39:12,250 --> 01:39:13,860
[crowd] I was born to stand out!
2051
01:39:14,035 --> 01:39:15,601
- [Ben] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
2052
01:39:15,775 --> 01:39:17,429
- [Ben] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
2053
01:39:17,603 --> 01:39:19,127
- Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
2054
01:39:19,301 --> 01:39:21,129
- Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
2055
01:39:21,303 --> 01:39:23,392
- [Ben] Stand out!
- [crowd] Stand out!
2056
01:39:24,959 --> 01:39:26,134
[music increases, then halts]
2057
01:39:26,308 --> 01:39:27,657
[crowd cheering]