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[electronic music]
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♪ MTV ♪
[rain pattering]
[Eminem's "Stan"]
♪ ♪
A lot of people ask me...
♪
- Why did you write the song "Stan?"
- Is "Stan" based on a real fan?
- Why do you share so much about yourself in your music?
- What the hell goes on in your brain?
Are you happy?
How's your daughter?
- Who is someone that helped you the same way
that you helped me?
- Do you feel like the impact you've had
is what you hoped it would be?
- What's it like being famous?
- How much fan mail do you get?
- How does it feel to be followed by so many people?
Have you read my letter?
♪ ♪
Is everyone ready?
- All right, Marshall, take one.
What's your first question?
[Eminem's "Bad Guy"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Time you can see the truth ♪
♪ But it's easier to justify ♪
♪ What's bad is good ♪
♪ And I hate to be the bad guy ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ I just hate to be the bad guy ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I just hate to be the bad guy ♪
- ♪ And I hate to be the bad guy ♪
- Hi, my name is chicka-chicka Slim--
[laughs] I wanted to say Zolt Shady.
Hi, my name is chicka-chicka-chicka
Zolt Shady.
Hi, my name is Alex.
Hi, my name is Daniyela.
Hi, my name is Giovanni.
Hi, my name is Brooklyn.
Hi, my name is James.
Hi, my name is Kyle.
- Hi. "My Name Is."
- Well, no, you-- - [laughs]
I'm s--I thought you mean it like the song.
[laughs] Hi, my name is Nikki.
Let me just put my cape on.
I don't even know what these look like on.
[laughs] Too much?
[laughs] It's called the Eminem.
Um, it's based off-- in his music video
"Without Me."
Um, although I did leave my plastic ass at home,
but this is my costume.
- [laughs] This is art.
[laughs] This is crazy.
Early Eminem, Slim Shady.
This is the type of mask that he always wore
in every concert, early 2000s,
everything like that.
- How and why does a white T-shirt become iconic?
- Because, uh, there's a Slim Shady in all of us.
When he wears that shirt,
and when I wear that shirt as well,
it symbolizes unity.
They, um, have an Eminem subreddit, r/eminem,
and I enjoy being there.
It's actually, uh, where I found my people.
- So I follow him on all social medias.
Every social media that he has, that I have,
I will follow him on.
- I, like, followed him every--
not followed him everywhere, 'cause that
sounds weird and creepy. [laughs]
- You should see what my explore page
on Instagram looks like.
Eminem, Eminem, cute puppies,
Eminem, Eminem, horror movies,
Eminem, Eminem, hairstyles.
Stuff like that.
- I wake up every morning, and it is a habit.
It's a ritualistic routine.
I think I do have an addiction to Eminem.
- Occasionally, like, I'll go into, like,
a YouTube, like, rabbit hole where
I'll, like, watch old performances
or music videos or interviews.
And, like, what people could say in interviews
25 years ago versus what they could say now, like,
half the shit he said was insane.
[hip-hop music]
All right, y'all.
Back here live on the "Rap City" thing.
I'm looking for my man.
My man is not--
Ow!
[sped-up speech]
Yo, cut the cameras, man.
Come on, dog.
Come on. Come on.
- You all right? - Hey!
- One... - Ladies and gentlemen--
- And a-two, and a-three--
Insane.
This guy's insane.
- Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Eminem.
[imitates cheering crowd] Y'all give it up for Eminem.
[imitates cheering crowd]
- What's up, dog? - What's up, man?
How you doing?
- That right there, it brought me back so much.
Just the energy that he came in when he was onscreen
was a different type of energy.
[dramatic music]
- This is an artist called Eminem.
It's spelled funky.
If you're going to pronounce it,
it's like the candy. Eminem.
- I'm keeping it gangster, homie.
I'm keeping it gangster.
I am flexing my bum-bum.
[laughter]
There was a shock factor
when I was first discovering Eminem.
- Here's Eminem doing one of the best Michael Jackson
impersonations I've ever seen.
- He was definitely a loose cannon.
Mom!
No, yes, you did molest me.
- This dude, he's got a good sense of humor,
and he's willing to express his art, you know,
with no boundaries.
- I was 10 years old sitting at home watching MTV
in hopes to see the Backstreet Boys
or NSYNC come on,
but it was Marshall Mathers.
Slim Shady came on with "My Name Is,"
and my whole life changed after that.
[Eminem's "My Name Is"]
♪ Hi, my name is, what ♪
♪ My name is, who ♪
♪ My name is chicka-chicka Slim Shady ♪
♪ Hi, my name is, huh ♪
♪ My name is ♪
- I was coming home from the police academy,
and I hear, "Hi, my name is."
And I was like, what is this?
And so I listened to it all the way home.
It's not like anything else I've heard before.
I'm in.
- ♪ Chicka-chicka Slim Shady ♪
♪ Hi, kids, do you like Primus ♪
♪ Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails ♪
♪ Through each one of my eyelids ♪
- You want to copy me and do exactly what I did?
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than my life is?
I was like, what? Yeah!
Sign me up.
I'll do it. [laughs]
♪ My brain's dead weight ♪
♪ I'm trying to get my head straight ♪
♪ But I can't figure out which Spice Girl ♪
♪ I want to impregnate ♪
- Most of these rappers back then,
they want to portray this, I'm from the streets,
I'm a thug, I'm this, don't fuck with me.
He's just being him.
He's just having a grand time.
♪ Hi, my name is, what ♪
♪ My name is, who ♪
♪ My name is chicka-chicka Slim Shady ♪
- Nobody was making those type of music videos.
Most people were like, half-naked, dancing,
doing, like, these big numbers.
And he had, like, storylines.
- ♪ 99% of my life, I was lied to ♪
♪ I just found out my mom does more dope than I do ♪
- When he started going at these pop culture people,
making fun of them to the T, I'm just like, oh, my God,
dude, this guy really doesn't give a fuck.
I was, like, hypnotized.
Like, my eyes were, like, glued to the screen,
and that kickstarted my obsession with him.
- We be live in Times Square, "Total Request Live,"
with the big videos, the most requested ones.
How about a round of applause for Eminem?
Hi.
- Making his--
"TRL" at the time was new.
It was always our intent to have it be
an exact reflection of our audience.
It was like, what if we gave one hour of this network
to the fans?
And let's ask them what they want.
Let's take their requests.
I was a radio guy, and we did a lot
of, like, requests in radio.
Who did you want to see?
Congratulations.
"Slim Shady" is going to number two next week...
- Thank you. - On the charts.
Thank you.
- That deserves a round of applause right there.
- With a little--little bit of help from MTV.
- I've seen fans. I've seen it all.
I've never seen anything like Marshall, Eminem fans, ever.
My name is!
- How they show up, what they look like,
the connection that they have with this artist,
it's really deep.
- The reason why we're here today
is because of his creation of "Stan."
He created a culture that is
so out of the boundary
of regular pop culture
that he made his own term.
- Anything I can grab on Eminem, I'll find.
Over a thousand interviews I've watched, rewatched.
He was the first one where I was like, you know what?
I could marry this guy. [laughs]
- I would say that I'm a stan.
I know three albums back to back lyrically,
every single word of--of everything.
I remember being him for the talent show when I was
11 and dressing up, white T-shirt.
I sprayed my hair yellow.
- When I was five my brother exposed me to his songs,
and I kept listening to it over and over,
and all my friends were like, oh, my God.
Like, girl, you need to calm down.
- I have a book, a specific book that I made.
When I see Eminem, [clicks tongue]
I put it in the book.
- There was a point in time where every single magazine
cover you looked at or saw, no matter where you were,
Marshall was on the cover.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- For so many people admiring you that much
and having such a strong reaction to you,
it must have been, like, a high or something.
- And the winner is Eminem, "My Name Is."
I want to thank all the fans
that made "Slim Shady" possible.
- All of a sudden, you're skyrocketed into fame,
and it's everything you've ever wanted,
everything you ever dreamed of.
I can't even imagine that.
- Has it ever felt normal in any sense of that word?
- Well, none of this is normal.
None of it's normal.
Once the "Hi, My Name Is" video,
once MTV accepted that and played it,
it was like a fucking switch went off overnight.
And all of a sudden, I woke up the next day from that,
and my entire life was changed forever.
Um, uh, we're gonna go to, uh, my old house,
and I'm going to knock on the door
and see if I can get in
'cause I left something in my room.
This is the house.
See back there, that used to be a garage.
One of my longtime friends, DeShaun Holton.
He's a rapper too. His name is Proof.
He used to take me up in the lunchroom at Osborn.
What's up, dog?
- I used to battle, like, a lot of kids in the school.
- Proof was Eminem's best friend.
He was there from the beginning.
Proof gave him a lot of the confidence
and a lot of courage.
- The illest story is we used to do
the "White Men Can't Jump" thing.
I used to go in to sneak him--
I used to sneak him into Osborn,
and everybody would be like, I'll battle you, man.
I'll battle.
I'm like, you ain't can't battle me.
Why don't you battle him?
And they'd be like, oh, the white boy?
[laughs] I'ma kill him!
Then he'd come out busting a rhyme--
[trilling tongue]
- Everybody and they friends like--
[laughs]
- One of the reasons I love Eminem's story
is because he didn't set out to become famous.
He loves his art. He loves what he does.
Hello, I'm Slim Shady.
- I don't think he ever could have seen
where it would have gone to.
- I cut class-- don't tell my mother--
and... [laughs]
And we were sitting in my boy's house,
and we had MTV playing, and my boys were just like,
oh, just another white rapper.
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I've never heard anybody do it like he did it.
And that's when I started going down that wormhole.
[dial-up modem beeping]
Where did he come from?
Where was his origin story?
♪ Bus it, what? ♪
♪ It's only fair to warn I was born with a set of horns ♪
♪ And metaphors attached to my dang umbilical cord ♪
♪ Warlord of rap that'll bash you with a 2x4 board ♪
♪ And smash into your Honda Accord with a four-door Ford ♪
[laughter]
♪ Look, any rapper saying those kind of rhymes ♪
♪ In this day and age, in this period of time ♪
♪ Trying to battle Eminem is worse than David Starr ♪
♪ Trying to battle Proof, Eye-Kyu, B-Fat, and Bizarre ♪
[laughter]
- When I found out that this is a battle rap rapper,
and rapping all these Black rappers in Detroit?
♪ Look, my face is pale ♪
♪ But you look like you seen a ghost ♪
- I knew this was a matter of time
that this guy was going to make it.
- I've been rhyming a long time,
and battle rap is everything,
you know what I'm saying?
It is the equivalent of being completely vetted in hip-hop,
you know what I'm saying?
Because you learn crowd control,
those lyrical choices, that storytelling.
That's not stuff that you can make up.
You can't fake that.
- Eminem is forged in battle rap.
He's what I call a natural-born killer.
And then he took that to the Rap Olympics,
where all the best rappers battle for number one.
- ♪ I'ma tell you this for your own benefit ♪
♪ Your shit was dope as hell ♪
♪ Especially when you wrote 90% of it ♪
The first prize was $500, and I needed that $500, man,
and I lost.
I was fucking devastated.
- For him to lose, he was crushed.
But an intern approached him and said, "Hey, man,
can I have one of your tapes?"
And then he left to go back home to Detroit
to try to continue to make music.
- All of a sudden, we get a call from Jimmy Iovine
and Dre himself saying, "We want to meet with you.
We like your tape."
Dr. Dre, to me,
is the greatest producer of our time.
- ♪ You never been on a ride like this before ♪
♪ With a producer who can rap and control the micstro ♪
♪ At the same time ♪
The first time I heard Eminem was in,
um, Jimmy's garage, where he used
to have a listening section.
And back then, it was just cassette tapes,
and he popped this one in, and he said,
"What do you think about this?"
And it just happened to be Eminem's demo,
and it had five songs on it, and one of them
was a song called "I Just Don't Give a Fuck."
- ♪ When you see me on your block with two Glocks ♪
♪ Screaming fuck the world like Tupac ♪
♪ I just don't give a fuck ♪
- I thought it was just fucking fascinating.
I had no idea that what I was listening to
was a white guy, right?
I had no idea.
I just knew that I wanted to work with him.
Dre was just all in.
And when Dre likes something that much,
we really pay attention, especially me.
So I was kind of like, OK, fly this guy out here.
And when you first met,
what did you think of each other?
- I thought he was Tweety Bird.
[laughter]
- No, 'cause he had this real-- - Fuck you.
- He had this real bright fucking yellow sweat suit on.
- Man, if I hear one more thing
about that goddamn sweat suit.
- Why are you wearing a yellow sash?
The yellow sash.
Um, in honor of Eminem's yellow jumpsuit
the day he met Dre, which I think is just
such a magical moment in itself.
- But he called me a banana when he met me,
so it was on from there.
- Dre has always been pushing the edges.
And this guy starts on the edge,
so it was a--it was a marriage made somewhere.
[laughs]
- Without Dre, I don't know where Eminem would be,
and what shaped him in his earlier life
carries on with him even now.
[line beeps]
- Hey, Em, what's going on? It's Paul.
Uh, listen, if you wanna talk
to those camera crews, go ahead,
just don't say a bunch of dumb shit.
All right, call me back.
[line clicks]
- There's a lot of method to this madness.
I always keep this shit, Entertainer's Secret.
Shh. Don't tell nobody.
Um, it's, uh--actually, Rick Rubin told me about this,
and ever since the day he told me about it,
I've been using it for the past seven years straight.
I use it onstage. It's fucking incredible.
Especially, like, you know, my voice only lasts so long,
especially if I'm doing, like, some, like,
screaming shit or something.
So like, this is the--this is my best friend right here.
What's it taste like?
Uh, semen.
Not that I know how that tastes.
But if I were to guess, I would say semen.
I go through pens.
I did go through a couple years
where I was trying to use red ink and blue ink,
different colored inks for different color ideas,
like different ideas and shit, but it didn't work.
I just stuck to the black and just stayed with it.
Every time I write, there's different stages of it,
and that's one of the reasons that I keep a book now
and I never get writer's block.
♪ ♪
I'm always able to go back in my book
and have unlimited ideas.
Sometimes I just write my rhyming words down
and not the stuff in between, so that it can't be
put together if someone finds it.
- To see his lyric sheets, I mean, this is--
this is magic right here.
If I could own an original piece
I would frame this in my home,
and I'd point it out to any fucking people
that walked in.
I'd make them look at it with me.
I'd make them dissect it under a microscope with me.
I'd make them say, "oh, yo, this song--
this line went into this song."
I'm looking at something
that resembles my grocery list.
I write like this.
My husband hates it.
I seriously write the same way.
I want to pick this man's brain.
- Like, it's a lot of just, like, scribbles
and, like, thoughts.
But wow, this is--
yeah. [laughs]
There's--there's a lot of cursing on here.
But I think it says,
"Fuck, I'm sick of duckin' in public."
[soft music]
- When I look at the handwritten lyrics,
I feel like I see a busy brain.
♪ ♪
Seeing how he gets the things out of his brain
that way definitely influenced me to get your thoughts out
and making sense of them.
- You know, I have a PhD, but it's not
in typography or whatever.
But it's like, it certainly looks like someone
who is dealing with some intense emotion.
It looks like it was very scribbled down
kind of hastily,
and trying to spontaneously capture something.
♪
- I think it was, like, a "Rolling Stone" interview.
They asked him if he ever thought about
going to a shrink, and he said he don't need to
'cause his music is his therapy, and honestly,
that's--that's the best therapy there is.
Like, when you have an outlet, something that you're
passionate about, and you use that.
That's the best way.
♪
- My childhood certainly wasn't the greatest.
I always took that learning experiences from my childhood
and life lessons and kind of was able
to apply them through my music.
- I definitely find relatability in him
because he's somebody who has written
so honestly about struggling, and I feel like that's why
so many people can relate to him.
- I had the greatest life in the world,
coming from a single-parent home.
You know, my mother never had a job.
I hate to say that, you know.
But, um, it took a toll, man, being bounced around
from school to school to school to school to school,
from state to state.
And friends come over and you don't
want them to see your family's on welfare and shit,
so you hide the cheese and shit like that.
You know, that's real.
I mean, it's funny, but it's not funny,
you know what I mean?
It's like I look back on it like, damn,
that's fucked up, you know, but--
- My mom and I had a pretty unstable relationship
growing up, and there was a lot of struggles
with finances 'cause it was just the two of us.
I also came out as a transgender man,
and transness, or even queerness,
was not a conversation in the area I grew up in.
Being born female, it was a very isolating, like,
feeling to not really know anyone else
who I could relate to.
His struggles with bullying also lined up with mine.
There was a lot of moments where I didn't make--
like, I wasn't sure if I would make it out on the other side.
- Eminem was bullied relentlessly
in elementary school.
And it's horribly tragic to me because even now
I carry some of the traumas
of my own life from being bullied,
and I can feel that in some of the music he's written.
- So in the song "Brain Damage,"
Eminem or Marshall is getting bullied at school.
[Eminem's "Brain Damage"]
♪
- You know, bleeding on the carpet
and then having your parent being like, look at you,
you're getting blood all over my rugs--
I felt that.
Growing up, I would get into fights.
I'd get into fights a good amount.
I'd get bullied from other kids
calling me a faggot for wearing tight pants
because I was a skater kid.
Going into my room, and then putting on
a song like "Brain Damage," that's what helped me.
- It was sophomore year, and I went to go
to a Super Bowl party with my friends.
We were watching the Super Bowl,
and I had my hands in my head--
my head in my hands like this,
sitting on the ground with my stomach on the ground,
looking up at the TV.
And a kid on the couch spilled his iced tea
and went, "Oh, I know what I can use to pick that up with,"
and grabbed his other friend.
They picked me up by my feet and used my hair as a mop
and then threw me on the ground, and I was--
these were supposed to be my friends.
It made me sometimes not want to go to school,
but I went because I had Marshall's music.
[bell rings]
I would put my CD player on
and just walk through the hallways.
He inspired me to write.
I write poetry.
I loved how he could just bend the English language,
use different words to rhyme off other words
that necessarily wouldn't rhyme,
like orange, door hinge, syringe.
That's great. [laughs]
His music made me feel like I wasn't alone in this world,
with what I was going through.
[somber music]
- Hip-hop was the most important thing
that empowered me as a kid.
It made me feel tough when I wasn't.
I was a scrawny little kid growing up on 8 Mile,
walking up the fucking block, put headphones on,
and it made me feel powerful.
Hip-hop, it taught me how to throw my first punch,
gave me the confidence. It was like my dad.
And it was the only thing that made me empowered.
It made me feel good about myself.
And when I started being able to write rhymes
and figured out I could do it,
that's where the feeling comes from.
- As a teenager, I definitely had a lot of anger.
I haven't met my father in person since I was probably,
like, one or two or something.
But I never had anybody that I could relate to
in that regard growing up.
Whenever he would talk about his father too,
he always sounded so angry.
So I always gravitated more towards
the angrier-sounding Eminem,
and Slim Shady was his alter ego
and split personality for that.
- Eminem, Slim Shady, Marshall Mathers.
Could you briefly tell us where one stops,
the other one begins, and the difference
between the three different characters?
- Marshall Mathers stops when the Bacardi kicks in,
and then it's Slim Shady.
- Marshall is the human being where
the heart and the human experience come from.
Eminem is the artist through which Slim Shady
and Marshall are channeled.
That's where you see the skill and the talent.
And then Slim Shady is this cartoon character.
- Slim is, uh, the jokester, the hey,
I'm here for a good time.
A crazy son of a bitch...
[laughs] Um, that I love.
- He has, like, this I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.
- He's like a psycho, but in a good way.
Uh, says whatever the fuck he wants to say.
He'll probably kill if you look at him the wrong way.
I'm putting the mask on.
I'm like, I can be me.
I can say what I want.
I can flip a fucking desk if I needed to.
Even though he was just being himself,
people didn't like that.
People did not like that at all.
- I mean, let's just say the least,
it was a trying time.
We were criticized enormously for putting his music out.
- That controversy was covered extensively by the media.
- While Black rappers often get a pass
on lyrical nihilism,
Eminem, who's white, has been taking
some intense critical heat for his jokey, hard-nosed rhymes.
- In Eminem's songs, women are portrayed
as little more than strippers,
punching bags, and sperm receptacles.
- It's so sad to see those parents dropping
their children off and saying,
I don't know what the lyrics are all about.
[Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons, 'Spring'"
♪ ♪
- Perhaps one of the most interesting words
in the English language today is the word "fuck."
Out of all of the English words
that begin with the letter F,
"fuck" is the only word that is referred to as the F-word.
It's the one magical word, just by its sound,
can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love.
In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.
As a transitive verb, for instance:
"John fucked Shirley."
As an intransitive verb:
"Shirley fucks."
It can be used as an adjective,
such as, "John's doing all the fucking work."
As part of an adverb:
"Shirley talks too fucking much."
As a noun:
"I don't give a fuck."
With all of these multipurpose applications,
how can anyone be offended when you use the word?
Say it loudly and proudly.
Fuck you!
- You rap about raping and killing women,
but you really don't do that, do you, Eminem?
- Yes. - You do rape and kill women?
Yes.
- Uh, are you amazed at the, uh,
the firestorm that has begun, and are you afraid
it could be a career-destroyer?
- Um, I'm not worried about it because anybody
with half a brain is going to be able to tell
when I'm joking and when I'm serious.
With the first album, "The Slim Shady LP,"
all of a sudden, now it's important.
What I have to say is important.
I remember one of the first times signing autographs,
there'd be, like, a line out the door,
and somebody would be like, yo, I just want you to know,
man, you helped me so much for--for this or for that.
So now I'm like...
What's your name?
Writing a long paragraph for them and shit,
and signing their name, and people are like, yo,
can you speed it up a little bit?
'Cause we're not going to get to everybody.
- Hello. - Can I have a hug?
How you doing?
I was living inside it when it was all new to me
and I still didn't understand it.
- You know, this guy has been somebody
that I've been trying to meet for a long time,
and he's not easy to get close to.
Since I was 14, I had this fandom in me
that I wanted to, like, express,
and I just didn't know how to.
I remember the first portrait tattoo that I got,
being really anxious about the pain.
It's like a scratch, quite a sharp scratch,
and it depends kind of
what it is that you're having done.
Like, the lines are the worst because it's
being dragged against your skin.
But I fell in love with the process
of tattooing that day.
I've kind of described it as, I walked in one person
and left a different person.
And then it kind of snowballed after that.
In 2020, I set the Guinness World Record
for having the most tattoos of the same musician.
It has become my identity.
Now that I've got the ink, I feel like
I've got to have a possibility of meeting him.
[flashbulbs bursting]
- The first time I met Marshall was
for the "Rolling Stone" cover.
I was just shown into, like, a conference room,
and no one else was in there.
And I sort of asked the security guy to let me in.
Like, just, hey, is Marshall around?
I just want to say hi, and all that stuff.
So he pointed to a door that I didn't
realize was the bathroom.
And, uh, and I opened it up, and I heard him puking.
[toilet flushes]
He came out of the stall.
I was like, uh, hi, Marshall,
it's really nice to meet you.
Put my hand out.
I'm Anthony from "Rolling Stone,"
like, super dork.
And he just looked at me and, like, burped...
[belching sound effect]
And, like, walked out.
[hip-hop music]
One of the three venues we went to that first night was,
like, a 16-year-old's birthday party.
You know, it was basically Beatlemania.
They were grabbing at him, pulling at his shirt.
The police were there to, like, make sure
that the limo got in and out.
There were girls, like, putting their boobs
on the glass of the car.
I remember him saying, like, you're pretty cute.
I love you too, but I'm not going to jail.
The night went from, you know, then until
about 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning.
And for the whole time,
he didn't speak a word to me at all.
♪ ♪
- So I've got my little circle of family and friends,
people that I've basically grown up with,
because I feel like, at this point,
anybody that I meet after this only knows me
for Eminem or Slim Shady and doesn't know Marshall.
So that's why I keep those friends around,
'cause I know that those are the people that
really care about me for me.
- I think it was a defense against, like,
the attention, the fame. Just survival.
Just trying to, like, take it in
and figure out what the hell's happening,
'cause it happened so fast.
[plane whooshing]
♪ ♪
- So you show it to Eminem? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah? - Yes.
- Hello, Eminem. [laughter]
[cheering]
[chainsaw buzzing]
- It's really an eye-opener to see how crazy
some people do get for Eminem.
I travel the world for him.
[cheering]
Nobody here.
Just me and the camera.
Oh, no.
- Well, one of these have to be the jet for the day.
Want that one? Or even that one.
- Paul's telling me to put on my fucking seat belt,
like if the plane crashes, it's gonna help.
- I've seen Eminem in concert about 30-something times.
15 different cities
in six, seven different countries.
I'm a parrot.
I'm an embarrassed parrot in Paris.
- Oh, Eminem! - Eminem!
Eminem!
- I made this costume because I wanted to wear
something very eye-catching.
They actually put me on camera
throughout the stadium,
and some random man put me on his shoulders
to, like, showcase it.
I was hoping, of course, he's gonna see my costume,
and he's gonna think it's so cool,
and he's gonna invite me on stage and meet me.
- I was asking Paul today, I was like, uh,
why do people want to talk to me?
And he was like, you rap well,
you say a lot of personal shit,
and your music and your life is like
the fucking "Jerry Springer Show."
- "I didn't really start doing drugs
"until I rapped about them.
"When I was on tour rapping about Vicodin
"or mushrooms or ecstasy,
people started throwing that shit my way."
- "I couldn't believe the effect
"my lyrics had on people.
They thought we were literally drug addicts..."
- "And that they could get backstage
"and bring us substances.
"It was wild.
Welcome to rock and roll."
[cheering, chanting]
- Yo, they were so loud, we couldn't rap
for, like, 10 minutes.
- Just seeing, like, how he was living
and the breakneck pace,
instant stardom, instant fandom,
and people starting to get obsessed.
What the fuck?
- I was just rooting for him to, like--
to hang on for the rocket ride.
England, we're out of here.
We love you. Thank you.
Peace.
- Were you prepared for how much the fans
would connect with you?
- What I put out was very much, um,
raw and, like, just real,
as far as situations in my life and how I came up
and shit like that.
And I think that that's maybe one
of the things that made some people
feel like they could relate.
It was a weird, strange kind of adjustment,
and my personality wasn't well-equipped to handle that.
[pulsating music]
"FANatic."
- I've never gotten into any music
like I've gotten into Eminem's lyrics.
Like, once I started listening to him, I couldn't stop.
We are at the restaurant that Eminem worked at
before he made it big.
- Around the time Marshall's really starting to blow up,
there's a million channels.
You know, the Internet starts picking up.
- This is where Eminem spent most of his time.
- [gasps] This is the phone Eminem touched.
- Content is just at its infancy of becoming king.
From a media standpoint, you are really
now into the minutia of what it takes
to hold on to an audience.
And what that came down to for us, really,
was like, the fan experience, we gotta go even more.
- What was your best subject in school?
Oh, my God, none.
Maybe English. I was all right at English.
Everything else I was horrible at.
I was the worst.
- Fans just had such an insatiable appetite
for more and more access
to the artists that they loved.
I mean, now you're really opening the floodgates
for people who see that
to live vicariously through that moment
and go, "Well, that's all it takes.
"I'm just going to jump on a plane to Detroit
"and go find 8 Mile and walk around,
"and I can just have the experience
that they just showed me."
I was in my early 20s
when I started working at Gilbert's.
And I knew Eminem worked there, obviously,
so I was like, fuck it, I'll go work where Eminem worked.
Like, I always wanted to,
so one more thing closer to Eminem.
And I stayed at that bitch for--
for, like, 10 years,
'cause I'm like, he's going to come in.
That's crazy.
The whole neighborhood's gone now.
Me and Proof used to climb this tree all the time.
And we would sit up in the tree,
and he would always climb higher than me
'cause he wasn't afraid of heights.
I was.
Um, and we would just sit there
and talk about, like, what we was going to do
once we made it as rappers.
[dog barking]
We shot here when the house had been condemned,
but it wasn't burnt down yet.
And, like, I don't know if you've ever
been to, like, a house, go back when you were a kid--
everything seems smaller.
Bro, that motherfucker was like, here to here,
you could touch the living room walls.
We tried to buy it, and the city
had already condemned it.
So they wouldn't sell it to us.
- Did it ever occur to you that fans would
come here and make a pilgrimage?
It's cool that people care,
but it's also weird, still, 'cause you're like,
but it's me, you know what I'm saying?
Like, why?
It's really not that big of a deal.
When Em was blowing up,
there was lots of kids with white T-shirts
and bleach blonde hair.
But again, this might be by Em's own doing.
I mean, the videos, the imagery that he put out,
it's this million-white-boy army behind me, you know?
Like, I am you.
[Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady"]
- ♪ May I have your attention, please ♪
♪ Will the real Slim Shady please stand up ♪
♪ I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up ♪
♪ ♪
- I was at the MTV Awards when Marshall came out
and that gang of fucking dudes
followed him up on stage.
Everyone around me kind of fucking locked in,
like, what is-- what's going on right now?
Who the fuck is that guy?
It was hands-down like, yeah.
Like, that dude right there, he's--he's--
he's fucking-- he's cooler than me.
- When Eminem came on the scene
and when they seen the bleach blonde hair,
it kind of infected the whole world.
- So many kids were dyeing their hair yellow,
dressing in, you know, baggy clothes.
And I saw it.
So, you know, I had guy friends that were like, oh,
I'm Slim Shady, you know?
And I'm just like, no, you're not.
It was who they were now.
It wasn't like, hey, I'm going to go down to Times Square.
I'm gonna--you know, I'm gonna pay homage
to Em and, you know, do my thing.
It was like, I'm becoming him.
Nine years old, you know?
One day I wanted to-- to make my hair blonde.
You feel like a real Shady.
Every people who look at you, they--
they know what is about, you know, Shady, man.
- Eminem is absolutely like an unwilling cult leader.
He's someone who did not want to take up that position
but has been, to no fault of his own,
kind of thrust into it.
- Eminem, ladies and gentlemen.
[cheering]
- Big day. - Right.
- New album is out. - A really big day.
- Yeah. - Really big day.
"Mathers LP" is out.
Now, that's your real name.
- Is, uh--does that mean... - It's my real name.
- That this is sort of more of, like,
reflective of who you are? Or, uh--
I think so.
I think I got kind of personal on this album,
and just basically I just wanted
to let people know that this is--this is the real me.
This is all jokes aside, you know what I'm saying?
There's a lot of songs on the album that
are like that, that are like, you know,
more serious than the first album.
Right.
Actually, we're listening to it right now,
a track called "Stan."
It's the third track on the album.
What's--what's all this about?
Explain this to me.
- Um, basically, it's just about crazy fan mail
that I get from people.
And it's about, like, a kid who is really sick,
you know what I'm saying?
And--and takes everything that I say literally.
What inspired me to write "Stan" first
was when I got the beat
and it had the Dido sample in it.
"But your picture on my wall reminds me
that it's not so bad."
I felt like, that is--
that line right there, that's LL Cool J to me.
Like, LL Cool J was one of the rappers
who helped get me through so much childhood shit.
I kept thinking, like, oh, my God,
am I LL Cool J to somebody else?
Instantly, I was like, yo, this has
got to be about, like, an obsessed fan
who's taking my shit too literal, and slow down.
I'm not--I'm just Marshall.
[thunder rumbling, rain pattering]
Like, I'm not your fucking savior.
[thunder crashes]
♪
[thunder rumbling, crashing]
Let me in!
[knocking]
What?
- Stanley, what are you doing to yourself?
- What, the hair? You don't like it?
- Stanley! - You like it?
- Stanley! Don't--
Don't call me that, OK?
Don't call me that.
- Don't you think you're taking this too far?
- Stanley. - Here.
Stanley!
I was listening to the lyrics.
I was just like, this is amazing.
I mean, I just think his lyrics on that song
are absolutely brilliant, you know?
He's, to me, the ultimate storyteller.
[Eminem's "Stan"]
♪ And I can't see at all ♪
♪ Even if I could, it'd all be gray ♪
♪ But your picture on my wall ♪
♪ It reminds me that it's not so bad ♪
♪ It's not so bad ♪
- ♪ Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't calling ♪
♪ I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone ♪
♪ At the bottom ♪
♪ I sent two letters back in autumn ♪
♪ You must not have got 'em ♪
♪ There probably was a problem ♪
♪ At the post office or something ♪
♪ Sometimes I scribble addresses ♪
♪ Too sloppy when I jot 'em ♪
♪ But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man ♪
♪ How's your daughter ♪
♪ My girlfriend's pregnant too ♪
♪ I'm 'bout to be a father ♪
♪ If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her ♪
♪ I'ma name her Bonnie ♪
♪ I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry ♪
♪ I had a friend kill himself over some bitch ♪
♪ Who didn't want him ♪
♪ I know you probably hear this every day ♪
♪ But I'm your biggest fan ♪
♪ I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam ♪
♪ I got a room full of your posters ♪
♪ And your pictures, man ♪
♪ I like the shit you did with Rawkus too ♪
♪ That shit was phat ♪
♪ Anyways, I hope you get this, man ♪
♪ Hit me back just to chat ♪
♪ Truly yours, your biggest fan ♪
♪ This is Stan ♪
- ♪ My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why ♪
- I used to write him all the time.
I was like, hi, I'm your biggest fan.
I love you so much.
- [laughs] When I was like, 12, yeah.
Yeah, I wrote him a letter.
And then later on, I would write and be like,
your music is saving my life.
Thank you for everything.
- I actually took a few hours writing all the things
I wanted to, but I thought it was, I don't know,
like too much like "Stan."
- I wrote one email about 10 years ago.
I haven't heard nothing back,
but I'm still got my fingers crossed.
It's only been 10 years. We good.
- ♪ Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote ♪
♪ I hope you have a chance ♪
♪ I ain't mad ♪
♪ I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans ♪
♪ If you didn't want to talk to me ♪
♪ Outside the concert, you didn't have to ♪
♪ But you could have signed an autograph for Matthew ♪
♪ That's my little brother, man ♪
♪ He's only six years old ♪
♪ We waited in the blistering cold for you ♪
♪ For four hours and you just said no ♪
♪ That's pretty shitty, man ♪
♪ You're like his fucking idol ♪
♪ He wants to be just like you, man ♪
♪ He likes you more than I do ♪
- Stan, he's a really, really, really hardcore fan of Eminem,
and he believes he's in, like,
a parasocial relationship with Eminem.
- Parasocial relationship is a one-way
mediated relationship where it's like, there is Eminem.
He's on stage performing.
He's in music videos.
And you start to feel like you know this person.
♪ Bad ♪
- Over time, parasocial relationships,
they increase in psychological intensity.
They can develop into what's called identification.
You become so absorbed,
you start to take on his attitudes
and beliefs and behaviors.
- ♪ I can relate to what you're saying in your songs ♪
♪ So when I have a shitty day ♪
♪ I drift away and put 'em on ♪
♪ Because I don't ♪
- After that you get to what's called worship--
- ♪ I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest ♪
- Is when you treat the media persona
like a godlike figure.
It is the less healthy place
you want to be on the spectrum.
- ♪ See, everything you say is real ♪
♪ And I respect you 'cause you tell it ♪
♪ My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 ♪
I mean, I could relate.
I was like, yeah, that happens.
Really awesome fans that can get,
you know--you're like their best friend,
and you don't even know it.
♪ Sincerely yours, Stan ♪
♪ PS, we should be together too ♪
- ♪ My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why ♪
- The connotations from the song
are somebody that is a crazy fan.
It's probably how a lot of people see me,
I would imagine.
- ♪ Dear Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans ♪
♪ This will be the last package I ever send your ass ♪
♪ It's been six months and still no word ♪
♪ I don't deserve it ♪
♪ I know you got my last two letters ♪
♪ I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect ♪
- Reaching out, reaching out, and no answer.
I could see how that could affect someone.
- ♪ Hey, Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka ♪
♪ You dare me to drive ♪
♪ You know that song by Phil Collins ♪
That's extreme.
But then at the same time, I was so someone
that was like, well, why isn't one of my--
why isn't it one of my letters he's reading?
♪ That's kinda how this is ♪
♪ You could have rescued me from drowning ♪
- It was one of those moments where
I had to look in the mirror and be like, wow,
am I one of these crazy stans?
♪ Well, gotta go ♪
♪ I'm almost at the bridge now ♪
♪ Oh, shit, I forgot ♪
♪ How am I supposed to send this shit out ♪
[tires screeching, screaming]
I was shocked.
I mean, my first reaction was, did this actually happen?
- I don't think he's a real person,
but it's definitely possible that there's
somebody out there like that.
[somber music]
♪
- I think there are people out there that have
that type of mental obsession over another person,
and I believe that it does come from a real place.
Whether it is exaggerated or not
is all depending on the creator.
♪ ♪
But I believe it is coming from a real place.
- If it wasn't a real person who actually did do that...
♪ ♪
It's a message to all of his fame.
[engine rumbling]
[vehicle rumbles]
Hi.
But the word "Stan" changed with the time.
Stan, in 2024, it's being crazy of something.
Like, very, very crazy.
Like, really, really crazy.
I never killed my wife.
I've never been crazy like him.
I don't have a wife, by the way, but I'm just saying.
Well, so--
OK, so you guys think this about me.
That's fine.
Not because I don't want to,
but because it was too big to me.
I had and I still have a dream,
is to travel and discover Detroit.
Because I grew up with Eminem, so I wanted to--
to know and to understand where Eminem came from.
So my family thought that
that was all bullshit,
that I spent my money for nothing.
But you know, when you're passionate about something,
just do your dream.
That's it.
[indistinct chatter]
[Eminem's "Rap God"]
- ♪ I'm beginning to feel like a rap god, rap god ♪
- How do you know Eminem's not here?
[playing tune on keyboard]
Because I was back in Paris
after a beautiful week in Detroit.
I cried.
♪ ♪
- If "Stan" sort of showed mainstream people
who didn't understand how powerful a rap song could be,
if "Stan" did that to them...
[cheers and applause]
[pensive music]
Then "8 Mile" did that on a much more mainstream scale
across all swaths of culture.
♪
[banging]
He was a global phenomenon.
How are you feeling?
- I feel good. - You feel good?
Yeah.
[tense music]
- All right, next up is my boy Bunny Rabbit.
[crowd booing]
He's a genius, man, a motherfucking genius.
DJ, kick it.
[scratching record]
all: Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke,
choke, choke, choke, choke!
- I believe what they did with "8 Mile" was amazing,
the way that they loosely based
a lot of things on his life.
And it wasn't full full-fledged,
this is what happened, but--
so it keeps me excited because my imagination
starts going like, all right, so what was real?
What wasn't real?
Is that story true or not?
Did that really happen when they were in the parking lot
in the shelter?
- Yo, that's like one of the best movies of all time,
if you're a rapper, 'cause it wasn't over the top.
It seemed like real-world shit,
going through it with his mom.
- What are you doing with your life
that's so great, Rabbit?
- Freestyling in the car with Proof.
♪ A 1928 Delta ♪
♪ This shit won't even get me to the shelter ♪
- Breaking up with his girlfriend,
all this extra shit.
Like, that was real-world shit.
[blows raspberry]
- Him showing a glimpse into what he went through
right before he got famous, it showed the world
that it's like, hey, I come from this background,
but it doesn't define me.
[grunts]
- It is who I am, but I am so much more than that.
In my mind, we're connected.
In one way or another, in this universe,
there's a connection.
Yo, you--you're me.
You're a regular dude.
This is not lights, camera, action.
This is Marshall Mathers, and I followed the story.
And most parts, I lived the story.
- It enhanced my fandom of him because
I just saw how relatable he was.
And I didn't have, like, a male figure in my family
or, you know, in my household to look up to,
and I really looked up to him.
- "8 Mile" did the most to explain Eminem to the world.
There were all these critics who were anti-Eminem.
Maureen Dowd, one of them at "The New York Times,"
she had a bunch of columns, you know,
saying he was a misogynist and all the other things
that he was controversial for.
And then after "8 Mile," she had a column
about having a crush on him and talking about him
with other soccer mommies
and listening to him at the gym.
It explains him to a wider audience,
contextualizes him, but it also
is myth-making, for sure.
And I think that to the fans that
aren't able to separate the man from the myth,
this might as well be a documentary.
- My first guest is a young man who is
on top of all of his games.
He's got the number-one song in the country,
the number-one album in the country,
and soon, the number-one movie in the country.
Give it up for Eminem.
[cheering]
And then it's such chaos out there that unfortunately
we're going to have to shut the shades,
but it's a real sight to be seen.
In the history of MTV, I have never
seen anything quite like it.
- I remember being in the theater
that first night watching that, going, "Fuck, man.
"Now, that's an opening weekend for a fucking guy
who's not a movie star."
He just became a movie star like that.
The movie is out.
- How you feeling? - Good.
Yeah?
You're a little overwhelmed?
- A lot overwhelmed, but, um...
[cheers and applause]
Proud too.
- I'm proud too, you know? - Yeah.
- I'm proud and I'm-- I'm happy.
I'm excited.
You know, if it wasn't for these fans,
I wouldn't have got to this level
to be enabled to do my own movies and things like that,
and have this kind of power and this kind of control,
and I'm loving it.
- Yo, let me ask you this--
- I was just looking up some stuff about Eminem online,
and this girl was talking about how
she apparently was spending time
with him while he was on tour.
Like, some fan girl he picked up.
And I thought at first that that was real, so I'm like,
did somebody really put that--like, that hap--
somebody put that out? That's insane.
Then when I scrolled down to the end,
it said fan fiction.
[discordant music]
♪ ♪
The next thing I knew, that was all I was reading,
'cause it was kind of addictive.
♪ ♪
And after, like, about three or four months of reading it,
I was like, why don't I write one myself?
I just imagined what his head space would be like.
It's very presumptuous of me to say,
oh, I'm writing this as Marshall,
even though it literally says Marshall's point of view
when I write it.
But you know, it's 'cause it's fiction.
It's OK.
- Do you feel like you have an understanding
of who Marshall actually is?
- It's kind of hard to tell with Eminem
because he's like--
as much as he puts personal shit in his songs,
he probably shows us only what he wants us to see.
[upbeat music]
♪
What's up, ladies?
[cheering]
I was sharing a lot...
Aw.
And made it like a fucking open book.
And then sometimes you want to close
that book back a little bit because
did you share too much?
What's up? I'm Marshall, and I'm gonna to punch you
in the fucking throat.
Do you have anything left to keep to yourself?
I can't fucking work like this.
You're stressing me out.
[door creaks]
- "Before I was famous, everything
"was moving in slow motion.
"Now it seems like somebody has pressed
"the fucking fast forward button,
"and my life just seems to be rushing by.
It sometimes feels like a strange movie."
I couldn't imagine how jarring it is
to go from being where he started out in 8 Mile
to the level of fame and success and wealth
and confinement that comes along with celebrity.
Unreal.
Hey, Em.
- Don't--don't come over here, man.
Hey, Em.
All right?
Hey, have a good concert.
- The way that he talks about fame in his music,
it's like he wishes that he could just
go and be a normal person and go to the store
and things like that.
And I think it feels like an invasion.
Yo, what's up, Eminem?
So are you gonna--
Good to see you, man.
- Every single day I'm on the Eminem subreddit.
There is 800,000 stans.
We have guys from India and Pakistan,
and like, just all-- all over the world.
We theorize, and we go back and forth, and we try
and, uh, figure out what goes on in his daily life.
Would be really cool to know, like,
does he go to the gym in the morning?
Or does he play basketball,
or is he in the studio all day?
It feels incredibly euphoric to me
because every post-- every post you go through
and every little thread of information you get,
it gives you one step closer to getting closer to the man.
[crowd shouting]
Em!
- You can look at your smartphone now
and look at social media and feel like
you have a direct line to these people now.
There's definitely a very thin line
when you go from that follow button,
and then all of a sudden, you're following someone.
Conversely, I'm following them.
And it's like, I need to know every new thing
about this person, and I think that takes some people
down some dark roads.
- I'm sure it feels like a prison,
where you can't go anywhere without being recognized.
[ominous music]
♪
- There's definitely a shift of him becoming
a little bit more withdrawn
from all of the fame.
[projector whirring]
- I live in that same area where I do hear from people,
like, oh, my God, Eminem moved here
and his address is this,
and oh, I was trick-or-treating,
and I went to his house.
And it's like he can't even live normally.
I've always been like, oh, I want to meet him so bad.
It's almost like a double-edged sword,
because what would I do, run up to him and be like,
oh, my God, Eminem?
And that's, like, not what he wants.
But at the same time, it's, like, all I want.
♪ ♪
- I remember one time me and Hailie
went to the mall in LA.
It was the last time I went to the mall as me, right?
Like, not fucking disguised.
And, um, every store we went in, we come out,
and there's another-- a bigger crowd
and a bigger crowd and a bigger crowd.
And it got to the point where I was like--
I picked her up, and I'm like, come on,
kiddo, time to go, right?
And I'm walking, and as I'm walking faster
and faster and faster, they're walking
faster and faster and faster.
And I literally felt like I was being chased
out the fucking mall.
And that was one of those moments
where I realized, like, my life really has changed.
Like, I can't--I can't do this anymore, right?
'Cause I got to protect my baby.
So that was a scary-- that was a scary moment,
and scary for her too.
I asked her. She--she doesn't remember it.
She was too little to remember it.
But I remember it, and it was fucking crazy.
But people do not realize how dangerous...
- Some people who are attracted to Eminem
might not be the best-intentioned people
and who could be aggressive or violent.
- We've seen it with other artists, who a super-fan
has, you know, come after them.
♪
- I definitely feared for his safety.
Sometimes you get obsessive fans
that are mentally unstable.
♪
I'm protective of Eminem.
Oh, my God, if anything happened to Em--oh, my God,
I'd come swinging.
♪ ♪
- You just never know, within this profession that we have,
if there's somebody out there lurking
that's creating this fantasy in their own head
because you're not responding to them.
That's the scariest shit ever.
Following and tracking him
like he's not a regular person,
you're not a fan at all.
- 11 years of policing, I've seen all kinds
of dark, twisty shit.
When you get that famous, you can't talk to everybody.
You can't say hi to everybody. You can't meet everybody.
And so I don't think that this kid Stan got that.
- If the Stan character existed today,
he would certainly follow Eminem
on every platform, maybe run a fan page,
definitely on Eminem Reddit.
Would be writing to him on each of his
social media accounts every day.
With the song "Stan," it's almost like
a PSA to his fans, like, please don't do this.
This is not what I want.
[dramatic music]
- When I saw him in 2005's Anger Management tour,
I was in college.
Came there to the show with my friend.
[cheering]
This is when he was touring nationwide with D12...
- Yeah, man, we out here having a good time
on this tour, so far, so good.
And with 50 Cent...
- 50-- - No, don't tell me.
I know I did good.
[laughter]
- And with Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz.
We out, bitch!
- Which to this day has been one of the best
tours that I've ever seen.
- The atmosphere of touring and the partying
and getting up in the morning and catching the flights
and the plane and the jet lag
and riding the bus and not being able to sleep,
it's hard.
It ends up running you down.
We're done in Detroit.
Europe next.
Wow.
- It's almost like I have to get off the road
every now and then and take a break, or I'll go crazy.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
- I was supposed to be going to see him in Manchester,
and he canceled because he was--
well, exhaustion, he-- he told everyone at the time.
It was a bit of a shock.
- I actually had tickets for him,
whenever the Anger Management tour was that he canceled.
I had tickets to that show.
I remember at the time being obviously
supremely disappointed, but it wasn't a secret,
the struggles that he was going through.
- That's why I'm pill-adverse,
knowing how it got to him.
Even--I think I had, like, my wisdom teeth out
and whatnot, and I wouldn't even take the hydrocodones
because I'm like, I can't take too many because this is--
this is the stuff that'll get you.
♪ ♪
- I was on vacation for a few days,
and I came back, and my mom came to pick me--
pick me up at the airport.
And she looked at me like she never looked at me like this
before, and she said, "Zolt, someone from
Eminem friends passed away."
- Rapper DeShaun Holton, better known as Proof,
one of the founders of the rap group D12
and a close friend of sometime D12 member Eminem,
was shot and killed at a Detroit nightclub.
He was 32 years old.
Proof often shared the stage with Eminem.
He was even the best man at Em's wedding
this past January, but he was also...
- I want you to listen to him, give him a chance.
Put your hands together for the funky honky Eminem.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
My name is Slim Shady.
Yo, this is MC Proof, and this is my DJ--
I cry.
I immediately cry.
I said to my mom, "Sorry, I can't go to the school.
It's too much for me, too much."
It took three months, and even after three months,
when I came back to the--to the school--
[clears throat] Man.
Even thinking about it really want to make me cry about it.
- When he lost Proof, I cried with him
'cause I knew exactly what he felt.
I lost my cousin,
and I lost him in a bad, bad way.
The one person that had my back since
I was a kid, that always was with me,
is not here to help me no more.
All I was doing was just popping pills
and just laying in bed all day.
If he died, I should die.
That's how I felt.
[breathes deeply]
I'm sorry. Give me a second.
[somber music]
- You know, just, I've lost a lot of people.
Um, I've lost my sister. I lost my dad.
I lost my nephew.
So all, like, my close family's, you know,
halfway gone.
Um, but my nephew was, like, the worst,
'cause he was, like, my best friend.
In 2016, like January, he like,
complained about having a sore neck,
I think it was, and doctors were like,
oh, sinus infection, this, this, this.
My sister was taking him every--
like, all the time, like-- and he was someone
that never complained.
Um, he would never tell you when he was sick,
so that was already odd.
So finally some doctor was like, yeah,
no, this is stage IV lymphoma.
You know, when my nephew passed,
I was like, fuck this, and I tried to overdose,
um, after his funeral was over.
[machinery beeping]
I woke up in the hospital with my heart doctor
at the bottom of my bed like a dad,
just telling me never to do that shit again,
and I listen to Eminem because him losing Proof,
I feel like I really can resonate with that
because that was literally my other half.
- Why is it so rare that the public
gets to see Eminem nowadays? What's--
Yeah, why is it like that?
- I actually need him to make my music.
So he be busy.
And he had the white shirt with big Proof on the shirt.
It was-- I didn't--
I didn't want to see Marshall like this, so...
- Guys, you gotta tell me, what's the latest
with the new D12 album?
- It's all in the memory of Proof,
- everything that he was. - Shout out to Proof.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah.
- Rest--rest in peace, big baby.
- It was one of the toughest times,
if not the toughest time in his life, that we know of.
And it was kind of, I think, a when it rains, it pours.
My dad, he passed unexpectedly when I was entering
my freshman year of college.
You know, listening to him talking about his grief
and the lows that he went through...
I mean, I connect to that.
- ♪ And Proof I'm truly sorry if I let you down ♪
♪ But this tore me in two ♪
♪ The thought of no more me and you ♪
♪ You gave me shoes, Nikes like new ♪
♪ For me for school ♪
♪ Doody, I'm trying, but you, you were the glue ♪
♪ That binded so many things, time ♪
♪ I'd give anything to rewind it ♪
♪ I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded ♪
♪ By pictures all on my walls ♪
♪ And I couldn't sleep at night ♪
♪ 'Cause that image burned in my brain ♪
♪ Of you on the table, me falling across your body ♪
♪ Not able to stand to save you ♪
♪ God, why did you take him? ♪
- I was really worried for Marshall
during those years, for his well-being,
spiritually, physically.
Didn't know how it was going to alter the future.
- I'd got into this vicious cycle of,
I'm depressed so I need more pills.
And then your tolerance gets so high
that you end up overdosing.
I woke up in the hospital, and I didn't
know what the fuck happened.
Like, it--it seemed like I--
I fell asleep, and I woke up,
and I woke up with tubes in me and shit.
I wanted to get up.
I couldn't move.
After the overdose, I came home going,
yo, bro, I need something, and I fucking went to town.
So I was really, like, inside knowing, like,
I need to fucking--
I'm going to die if I don't-- if I don't do something.
I had this video that they brought me
because I missed Hailie's first guitar recital.
The amount of guilt that I felt,
I cried when I saw it 'cause I was like,
oh, my God, I missed that.
And I kept saying to myself,
"Do you want to fucking miss this again?
Do you want to miss everything?"
♪ ♪
If you can't do it for yourself,
you fucking pussy, at least do it for them.
I realized I'm never doing this again.
[microphone feedback]
- When I heard the news that he, like, overdosed,
I was like, fuck. Like, damn.
Like, he could have actually--
he could have really died.
For me with celebrities, it almost feels
like they are untouchable.
So whenever you hear that a celebrity
died or almost died,
it's always like-- it hits you differently
from, like, uh, like a normal person.
I was just in shock.
So I made a point, I'm playing Eminem
every single day
until he gets out and until he gets better,
until--until he comes back to his rap.
And that's what I did, every single song
over and over on replay.
- While I was sitting in detox,
I didn't know exactly
what I was going to do with my career.
- At that time, I was just thinking,
like, this can't be it.
Like, in the back of my mind, of course,
I'm scared that it is.
- No new music, no new tours, no new interviews,
no new jokes, whatever the case is.
It's just, he'd be gone.
- To me, it was like, Eminem, I know it's hard,
but one day you are coming back.
- I had to relearn how to walk, talk,
and, for the most part,
had to relearn how to rap again.
My writing had gotten terrible.
- What did it feel like when it started to work again?
- Um, when I started to get it back,
it was exciting because I felt it.
It would be in conversations, just having conversations
with people or the TV.
Like, every--every phrase that someone said on TV,
oh, you said the word "the."
Duh, uh.
It was hitting me really fast,
and I was writing songs really quickly.
What--what's going on?
[cheering]
What are you guys doing?
Do you mind if I come out and maybe join you or something?
- You wanna come out? Come on, baby.
- Eminem! - Get over here.
- When he first announced "Relapse,"
it felt like Christmas to me.
Because when an album comes out,
I listen to an album front to back,
and then back to front,
and then to the end again, for months at a time.
So listening to "Relapse" was amazing to me,
just to hear that he's back.
I was just so, so ecstatic, so proud, and so happy
that I could hear him again.
Number one, you look good.
Number two, you're number one right now,
as far as your album's concerned,
and number three, you're number one
in the UK as well.
So congratulations.
- How does it feel? - Yeah, thank you.
It feels great. I mean, I'm just,
you know, I'm glad to be back.
[cheers and applause]
Guess who?
You miss me?
Jessica Simpson, sing the chorus.
- ♪ When you walked through the door ♪
♪ It was clear to me ♪
♪ Clear to me ♪
- ♪ You're the one they adore ♪
♪ Who they came to see ♪
♪ You're a rock star ♪
- You know what I love about your work,
and I'm sure many people do,
is there's a sense of humor. It's funny.
Uh, you diss some people in the new single.
- Some. - Yeah.
[laughter]
♪ Back by popular demand ♪
♪ Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can ♪
- As wickedly shrewd and sharp as he is lyrically
with these scathing disses of other people,
he was equally on his own case,
equally making fun of himself.
And all of that makes you endearing to people.
♪ ♪
- His disses were always funny,
and he did something with his voice.
Different character, right?
Flowing pretty damn cool, though.
- The whole, like, weird accent thing that he did on it
kind of threw me off.
Then when I listened to it more,
I'm like, damn, I was missing out on, like, some good shit.
♪ ♪
[electricity crackling]
- The response that I got from "Relapse" was lukewarm.
That hurt a little bit, but it also turned the lights on.
Like, you got to do something different.
Why don't you try embracing sobriety?
[soft music]
I realized, like, I'm not embarrassed anymore about it.
And I started treating sobriety like a superpower,
and I took pride in the fact that I was able to quit.
♪ ♪
- "Recovery" was a breath of fresh air for him.
I think it really sounded like someone
who was reclaiming his own life and his own narrative.
♪ ♪
- Getting sober and going through what he went through
made him a totally different person and artist.
He just used different flows and different cadences
and ways of rapping on tunes.
So for me as a fan, it was like becoming
a fan of a totally new artist.
♪ ♪
I was there in the front.
- Everybody here tonight who is an Eminem fan,
man, I just want to say
thank you for the support, man,
and not giving up on me, man.
I love y'all and I couldn't have did it without you,
so this song is for you.
[Eminem's "Not Afraid"]
- ♪ I'm not afraid - Sing it, y'all.
- ♪ To take a stand - Get this business right.
- ♪ Everybody - I guess I had to...
♪ Come take my hand ♪
- Go to that place... - ♪ On this road together ♪
To get to this one.
And some of you might still be in that place,
- ♪ Let you know, you're not alone ♪
Trying to get out.
♪ Holla if you feel that ♪
♪ You've been down the same road ♪
- ♪ Read my lyrics off of this paper ♪
♪ Before I lay 'em ♪
♪ But you won't take the sting out these words ♪
♪ Before I say 'em ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't no way I'ma let you ♪
♪ Stop me from causing mayhem ♪
♪ When I say I'ma do something, I do it ♪
♪ I don't give a damn what you think ♪
♪ I'm doing this for me ♪
♪ So fuck the world, feed it beans ♪
♪ It's gassed up if it thinks it's stopping me ♪
♪ I'ma be what I set out to be ♪
- That album helped rectify a lot of things in my life.
Talking about going through losing his friend,
talking about the sleeping pill addiction.
I'm just like Marshall.
There's times when, in a 48-hour period,
I'd blow through 30 to 45 Ambien, like it was nothing.
- ♪ Like a fuck you for Christmas ♪
- Watching how he's gotten sober,
I didn't feel the need to numb myself anymore.
- ♪ I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid ♪
♪ To take a stand, to take a stand ♪
- I'm sitting down at home one day,
and I'm just drinking, and I pop the pill,
and "Not Afraid" came on.
I took it like he was speaking to me.
And that moment, that day,
that night gave me that push to say,
I'm done.
I have a wife now. I have a kid.
I have responsibilities.
I can't--I have to stop this.
So if I didn't act on it in that moment,
I would have been screwed.
He was by my side, helping me
so I could be completely clean and clear out my head
and start doing something with my life.
- ♪ Put my life back together right now ♪
♪ It was my decision to get clean ♪
♪ I did it for me ♪
♪ Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally for you ♪
♪ So I could come back a brand-new me ♪
♪ You helped see me through ♪
♪ And don't even realize what you did ♪
♪ 'Cause believe me, you ♪
♪ I've been through the wringer ♪
♪ But they can do little to the middle finger ♪
♪ I think I got a tear in my eye ♪
♪ I feel like the king of my world ♪
♪ Haters can make like bees with no stingers ♪
♪ And drop dead ♪
♪ No more beef lingers ♪
♪ No more drama from now on ♪
♪ I promise to focus only on handling my responsibilities ♪
♪ As a father ♪
♪ So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof ♪
♪ Like my daughters and raise it ♪
♪ You couldn't lift a single shingle on it ♪
♪ 'Cause the way I feel I'm strong enough ♪
♪ To go to the club or the corner bar ♪
♪ And lift the whole liquor counter up ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm raising the bar ♪
♪ I'd shoot for the moon ♪
♪ But I'm too busy gazing at stars ♪
♪ I feel amazing, and ♪
♪ I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid ♪
♪ To take a stand, to take a stand ♪
♪ Everybody, everybody ♪
♪ Come take my hand, come take my hand ♪
♪ We'll walk this road together through the storm ♪
♪ Whatever the weather, cold or warm ♪
♪ Just letting you know that you're not alone ♪
♪ Holla if you feel like you've ♪
♪ Been down the same road ♪
- When I was young, I was really using music,
and oftentimes Eminem's music, to self-medicate
for my generalized anxiety disorder.
Just kind of having a hard time with life
and just processing different emotions,
from being bullied at school or wanting to date girls
and being rejected.
Like, you know, all the things that come with adolescence.
As I got older, I started at UNC and
led a team of researchers, and we analyzed
rap lyrics from 1998 to 2018.
We saw mental health references go from 8% to 44%.
Our findings were a reflection
of society changing,
and there were certain artists early on,
Eminem among them,
who really kind of normalized it
and made it OK to talk about these difficult feelings
and emotions.
[Eminem's "Walk On Water"]
- There's so much strength in vulnerability,
and that is such a powerful thing.
That's one of the reasons for Eminem's success.
When he's really vulnerable,
and he takes you there, when he's talking about himself,
and the downsides of himself,
those are the things that I gravitate to
more so than anything.
- ♪ I'm a Rubik's, a beautiful mess ♪
♪ At times juvenile, yes ♪
♪ I goof and I jest ♪
♪ A flawed human, I guess ♪
♪ But I'm doing my best to not ruin ♪
♪ Your expectations and meet 'em ♪
♪ But first the "Speedom" verse ♪
♪ Now, Big Sean, he's going too fast ♪
♪ Is he gonna shout or curse out his mom ♪
♪ There was a time I had the world by the balls ♪
♪ Eating out my palm ♪
♪ Every album song I was spazzing the fuck out on ♪
♪ And now I'm getting clowned and frowned on ♪
♪ But the only one who's looking down on me ♪
♪ That matters now's DeShaun ♪
♪ Am I lucky to be around this long ♪
Eminem was one of
the most important people in this trend.
He made it more acceptable for other artists
to really talk about these complex emotions.
♪
- I really felt like those lyrics were written for me.
It's extremely therapeutic,
and I don't take that for granted.
- He really has gone through so much and struggled,
and I felt connected to him in a way
that I ended up changing my legal name to Marshall.
It's kind of a reminder to not feel like I have to
apologize for who I am.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- I originally wrote this letter to Eminem
three months ago, but I never sent it.
"Dear Eminem, I'm not sure you're going
"to get this or even read it.
"I'm just going to write down how I feel about everything,
"because, honestly, you're one of the only people that
"are helping me get through this, even if I'm just
"a random 14-year-old girl
"probably having one of those mood swings.
"Don't worry, I won't end up like your song 'Stan,'
"even though it's one of my favorites.
"But it will never beat 'Mockingbird.'
"That fucking song saved my life.
"My parents are constantly fighting about stuff
"that don't even matter.
"And it gets annoying, because when I say something about it,
"I get blamed for it.
"And the only one that I feel cares about me
"is my brother, because he was the one
"that had me listening to you ever since I was born.
"He's in his 20s, and I love him a lot,
and I wish my parents..." [laughs]
"Loved me as much as he did.
"I thought about how much you care about Hailie
"and just wish they cared about me
"as much as you did with her.
"It's crazy that your songs and even your silly interviews
"make me feel happier than my family ever did.
"I know I'm just another Eminem fan who
"has a sad backstory or some other shit like that,
"but you're such a cool guy.
"I admire you, and if my parents did,
"maybe they'd be an even better parent like you are.
Hope you get this, Kripa."
[laughs]
- Why do you think you chose him as an outlet
for your tough feelings?
Um, sorry, wait.
[laughs]
Um, probably because, like,
he's had a really tough childhood too, so I feel like,
um, he would relate a little bit.
Taking my feelings out with, like, writing something--
sorry.
Um, I feel like it, like, makes me feel better.
[somber music]
[crying]
♪ ♪
I feel like it makes me feel better
'cause there's also other people out there
going through the same thing.
And so if they see what I'm going through
and what, like, Eminem went through,
maybe they'll know that a lot of people
also go through the same things
that, like, other people do.
- A big part of my tattoos have been about
facing up to my mental health.
A lot of people really didn't like my world record.
What a stupid record.
It's ridiculous.
It can hurt when--when people say horrible things.
I've been told that I need to be locked up,
I should be in a mental place.
[phone chiming]
Although I read the negative things,
and it's hurtful,
it would never change the fact that
I've continued to get the tattoos.
- Do you have a favorite Eminem song?
I usually say "Not Afraid."
There are a lot of positives, too,
because my Instagram has brought a lot of other fans
who really relate to me in a lot of ways.
And I met my husband.
[phone chimes]
He's a really big Eminem fan as well,
and he reached out to me.
It's really nice to have somebody that
gets the whole Eminem thing.
I get these impulsive thoughts in my head.
I was like, we should get married in Detroit.
We got married at St. Andrew's Hall,
which is one of the first places that Eminem performed.
And now we've got a son.
Without Eminem,
I wouldn't have the life I have right now.
[soft music]
[doorbell jingles]
[upbeat music]
- What do you think is meant by "The Death of Slim Shady"?
Who knows how he means it?
He's a satirist.
He could be, like,
saying let's cancel Slim Shady.
Which is kind of funny to even think about.
[laughs] Slim Shady can't be canceled.
- "The Death of Slim Shady" is a concept album,
so you gotta listen from start to finish,
um, and it's about Slim Shady, his character
that he started 25 years ago, and how his character
would be in this age.
- ♪ Sometimes I wonder what the old me'd say ♪
♪ If what ♪
♪ If he could see the way shit is today ♪
♪ He'd probably say that everything is gay ♪
♪ Like happy ♪
♪ What's my name, what's my name ♪
♪ Chicka Slim Shady ♪
[explosion]
- This album is about, I'm not holding back.
I'm gonna do everything I can to get canceled.
- ♪ If I think that shit, I'ma say that shit ♪
♪ Cancel me, what, OK, that's it ♪
♪ Go ahead, Paul, quit ♪
- I'm not sure people actually understand now
that Slim Shady is a character.
I feel like the new album just offended more people,
but I think that that was kind of the intention.
The world is in a very different place
to where it was in 1999.
Gen Z wants to cancel him.
Nobody can cancel Eminem.
Jesus Christ himself
will have to come down and cancel Eminem,
and he ain't coming down either.
- As his fan base, we all grew into this whole family,
and we're going to protect this man
by any means necessary.
- Going online and seeing people
trying to cancel Eminem,
that is soft,
and fuck you if you don't like it.
Throw up a middle finger and let it linger.
I don't give a fuck, mostly.
Calm down, Slim.
We both made Eminem.
He's the best of both of us.
And, really, it's not about me or you.
It's about him and the fans.
Damn.
I don't even want to fucking admit it,
but your bitch ass is right.
I'm embarrassed.
When I'm in Paris, I'm embarrassed
of my parents' parrot.
I'm sure 200%, 1,000%.
[indistinct chatter]
- Everyone, no matter how old or young,
will appreciate Eminem's music.
- ♪ A-B-C-D, A-B-C-D ♪
♪ E-F-G, E-F-G ♪
♪ H-I-J-K, H-I-J-K ♪
- People who have not been born yet
will follow his music,
reopen "The Slim Shady LP,"
and love him from start to finish.
[bright music]
I'll be looking down proud,
like, yeah, damn straight, y'all.
You get that white tee on.
You get those baggy blue jeans.
For sure. Rock it.
- A hundred years from now, in the catalogs of catalogs,
you'll be able to go back and listen to "Lose Yourself"
or "The Way I Am," and you'll know Eminem was that guy.
- All great artists have the ability
to reinvent themselves.
And yet, I feel like every time a lot of artists
do that, they always sacrifice a little bit of something,
and Marshall's never sacrificed anything.
He's, like, remained true to the first day I met him.
- I'm just happy I went after my dreams
'cause it inspired another kid to go after his dreams,
you know?
The fact that he had enough personal empathy
to write something where
the fans' feelings are being considered
tells you who he is, and for that,
I love and respect him.
- It's a crazy thing when all of a sudden
you go from being someone no one cares about
to someone that a lot of people care about.
What he's done with his life is extraordinary.
- He has grown to be a fantastic human being
that is really fucking dope at his craft.
He's an amazing father, and I can't wait to see
what he's going to turn out to be next.
- Coming here, were you expecting to see Eminem?
- Maybe. [laughs]
I don't-- that would be really cool.
Half yes, half no.
Yes and no.
I didn't really expect it,
but I had thoughts about it, you know?
- I was hoping that Eminem was going to be here.
He's a busy man.
He's got a song that he just dropped.
He's got an album that he's dropping soon.
I just wouldn't think he had the time.
- Oh, my God, what would I even do?
What would I even say?
- I would probably just throw up.
[laughs] I don't know.
- If I ever met Eminem, I would probably die.
I don't even know, man.
I'd be speechless.
2013.
He was in Paris for his new album.
And the car, they're going.
And I was like, no, I'm not going to--
to see Marshall, and 15 seconds later,
the car stopped.
"Marshall want to see you."
And every fan who was there
turned their head on me.
He knew my name, so I was like,
holy shit, he knew my name.
The bodyguard was like,
OK, OK, OK, Zolt, you go in the car.
Man, thank you.
Thank you for your music, for everything.
When you're an artist like Marshall,
you don't have time.
You do not have time for anything.
[camera shutter clicks]
I think he probably was shocked
because nobody will tell him you have to go.
But, you know, I'm the guy who respect his time.
[engine rumbles]
♪ ♪
- I think that people imagine stans as being,
you know, violent and deranged.
But in reality, being a stan and being a fan
can actually be a positive and beautiful thing.
I've lost a lot of people in my life,
but the one thing that has really gotten me through
all those losses has been Eminem.
Eminem has always been a constant
throughout my entire life, and for a long time,
I really felt unlucky
because I wasn't able to meet him.
It's like the carrot's right there,
but it's like I can't figure out how to get to it.
Now my mindset has changed, because I feel like
this documentary is a lot more personal
than it would be just me to Em saying, hi, huge fan,
take a picture.
Now he kind of can understand exactly how I've become a--
like, how I've been a fan for so long
and, like, similar kind of struggles,
I guess, we've been through,
and just how his music has truly influenced my life
and helped me through really, you know, traumatic times.
- But a true die-hard fan really does, I think,
understand me and every aspect of me
and understands that I am just a regular person.
I'm just a fucking human being.
The reason they connect with me is because
they see some of themselves in me.
Maybe they were bullied as a kid.
Maybe the world fucking dealt them a raw deal.
But for every young person that gets older
and wants to pay the world back...
that's the person that connects with me the most,
because they understand me,
and I feel like I understand them,
and I get them because they're really me.
The fans that have grown with me from day one
till now, it's, like, unbelievable
that they're still with me,
and I'm very blessed to this day
to still have people that ride for me like that.
To my fans, thank you.
I love y'all, and I am--
I would not be here, if it was not for you.
So I owe you my life,
and that's who I do my music for is them,
and fuck everybody else.
Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em.
Eat a dick.
You don't like it, eat a fat dick.
[Dido's "Thank You"]
Hey, Em, it's Paul again.
I watched the movie, and we got to talk about the ending.
Give me a call back.
♪ And I want to thank you ♪
- All right, I only got one minute,
and I'm at work, and I'm at, like, 4% on my battery.
- OK, Gracie, one minute to do this,
so my daughter's gonna help me.
- Please excuse me. I just got up.
Um...
Marshall Mathers is...
- I can't believe I have this opportunity
even to make this video, and you might see this, dog.
Just know I wouldn't be me without you.
- I'm your biggest fan, Marshall Mathers/Eminem.
Detroit, baby, Detroit.
- I'm Lisa Mathers, and this is Sir Slim Shady Mathers II,
but we call him Shady for short.
- Just want you to know that I'm Em's biggest fan
because I'm pretty much the female version of him.
- Was just married August 26th of last year
and walked down the aisle
to the instrumental to "Lose Yourself."
Bum, bum, bum, bum.
All my friends and family were like,
whoa, let's get it.
- I am Stan. Stan I am.
It's kind of like Dr. Seuss, but no.
I have two Eminem tattoos.
One on my chest. One on the other chest.
And a D12 tattoo.
- I listen to Eminem music every fucking single day.
I live Eminem, you can say.
Mr. Mathers, I love you.
From Japan.
- This is a piece of the tree of the old house
and a flower from the new house right here.
- Doesn't feel too great, but, at the same time,
it kind of does.
Hello, Eminem.
I'm a fan, and I listen to your music all the time.
Have a wonderful day and take care of your family.
Bye.
- ♪ Is having the best day of my life ♪
♪ ♪