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Secrets of the animal kingdom.
How human are apes?
The big wildlife report. Saturday at 8:15 p.m.
I'm going to Carnival as...
20 years ago Bernd Stromberg and his team showed us
their workaday life.
It made them cult.
The loony bin's on an outing, be careful.
Stromberg.
What came of Germany's famed office
and the "world's best boss"?
We'll see. Saturday at 9:45 p.m.
Hello again, Stromberg!
I can't wait.
CATERING ONLY FOR TEAM STROMBERG
VEG-YAWN
Come on.
I said stay outside.
You really put your ass in your mouth. I say... we take this to the very top.
-Yes, to Wehmeyer. -Or Niibel.
Move it!
-Just hold on there! -Or are you related to Welkenberg?
I'll do that in a sec.
Right.
Can you all come over here quick?
Come on now. Please, please, please.
It'll be quick.
So, we're making Hello again, Stromberg.
Any of you remember the old one?
-Was it with a dog? -No, it was with an ape.
That's why the documentary people are here.
To do a kind of making-of.
-Luna. -Luna.
Once Matthias is here we'll do a run-through.
That's it. Have fun!
Eat!
THE BIG FOLK POP FALL
HELLO AGAIN, STROMBERG.
Stromberg! Stromberg!
Africa, right? Ah, interesting. Good.
Here, uh, our Ernie. He knows about Africa.
He's our black man.
In America I'd sue her.
She could clean till she's black in the face.
Or white. How does it go for them?
It's still in there. You can't broadcast that, Sascha.
-They broadcasted it back then. -They could've said something then.
Let's see how he is now. We can still edit it out later.
Someone who was shitty then won't be great today.
- I don't know about that. -Give an example.
Sido?
Flip phones?
No idea.
It's like folk pop. Not for everyone, but fans exist. Hm, Luna dear?
Okay, you get your Roland Kaiser and I throw this macho crap out, okay?
Here, "Problems are like breasts,
coming to grips with them is the real fun."
-Jérg wanted to keep that in. -Sure, Jorg.
-Jérg, as white-bread as it gets. -No need to tell me that.
If I could puke on him, I'd be even thinner.
-But he's the boss. -Jorg...
You know, it's only television.
Oh, Wusel, that's...
Pretty long time ago, right?
I have to get used to the idea, but I think it's great.
Yeah, wait and see, eh?
Not much has happened. We're still married.
16 years, dude.
-15. -Yeah, but it feels like 16.
-We're still at Capitol. -Yes, she's the boss.
Well... "the boss.”
Otherwise, too, of course.
And Marvin has started there too now, hm?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, why should he have it better than me, right bud?
-UIf, hey. -Ugh!
UIf.
Come on.
-Man! -Now. Come on!
You eat far too little fruit.
What? I'm always munching, you sweet thing, you.
Men may be descended from apes,
but women certainly come from leeches.
I see that facial expression of yours again.
It's outdated misogynistic bullshit.
-When I started here... -Yes, yes, there were no women.
-I was a lone warrior. -Like Lara Croft. I know.
I swear, if he pulls that on the show...
You'll still cue the band and give me a sign regarding the length.
-It's kicking off online, you know? -Something always is on the internets.
A few feminist activists may come to the show.
Well, I'll let security know.
But you finish that up, okay?
What has to be up with a woman
for her to like him in any way?
Hello! Ah, hello!
Oh, how nice! Ah, do I have to...
I was really excited.
I hadn't seen anyone in forever.
I left that Capitol place ages ago.
Yeah, and this feels like a kind of class reunion,
of the class that all got held back and thought the teacher sucked.
Yeah, and otherwise, um...
I'm doing pretty good.
Huh?
Yeah, I'm doing awesome.
Can I sneak in quick?
Uh... What...
Yes, okay, come on.
-Um, yes. This is Julian. -What up, guys?
I'm a huge fan. Watched it all a hundred times.
No joke.
Man, so uncomfortable. Hold on.
I have my own channel, and Jenny's my sidekick.
-Right, Jennykins? -Yeah, all right.
-Why? You are. -Yeah.
-Oh, no. Get up. You're so heavy. -You get up.
I think everything's really awesome. And her for sure, Jenny.
She's def the best lady.
Ernie!
Here.
I figured you wouldn't be working with us.
-Thanks for the lift. -Bye!
-Bye. Bye. -Bye, Ernie!
Ah! Man, they're from folk pop.
I couldn't find you. I was even at Antiques Roadshow.
-Hello! -Ernie!
Yes, I'm pretty different now, I'd say.
Look, I wrote this, uh, this book here.
You're Not a Victim.
Right, that's, um... That's the title of the...
There's a lot against bullying in here.
Hm? And, yeah, it did pretty well.
You could say. That is...
I basically took the hobby others pursued at Capitol
and made it my profession.
Later you can insert where it's for sale and all.
No?
Mm-hmm.
Ah, what a shame.
That's a shame.
Awesome to see you live. I thought you were even shorter.
Why... um... Why shorter?
-You looked it on TV. -Nah.
And what do you do now?
I'm sort of his PA.
-And what's your work? I mean... -Content creator.
Julian G? Ever seen or heard of me?
No, right? You're not really in it anymore, too old.
Hey, I've already played Super Mario when it just came out.
-Like I said. -And his parents own a company.
Cu... tainment.
Ah, I see.
-Ding-dong! -Hey, Ernie.
Hey!
-Recognized the smell. -Hello. Well?
This is crazy.
-You look good. -So do you guys.
-Tanja
-And you're? -Julian.
Julian.
-Berthold. -Belongs to me.
-What do you do now? -Life coaching and anti-bullying stuff.
-Yeah, right! -Awesome.
Yeah, I show people how to stop being the victim
and to understand how forgiving and forgetting
can be a show of strength.
-Wow, really. -Cool.
Yes. UIf.
That sounds good.
-What do you do? -I'm a content creator.
Oh, is there soup? I'm hungry.
Where is Stromberg?
Here. I'm Stromberg.
-But I'm Stromberg. -Well, then I'm Stromberg too.
And I am too...
-There's Daddy! -Yes!
It really is him.
Lurchi! Lurchi! Lurchi!
Well, when you're still as loved as I am after such a long time
then you can't have done everything wrong.
Hm?
Although I've grown too. Of course I have.
I mean that King-Kong thing, you know?
It's like the recorder, you only play it when you're young.
I've made an upgrade as a boss.
But also as a human being.
Hm?
I'll just say, "He's back!"
Not "him," but... What is it?
-We need to get to that. -But I'm in the middle of a...
Are you from production?
Yes, you could say that, couldn't you? It's the man himself!
Here, um... Oh my! Only the gifted and talented here, huh?
We need to get to the cover fleece.
-Huh? -The carpet under the sofa.
Ah. Go right ahead.
Oh, what's that?
-Where to with it? -I'll do it.
No, I've never been high and mighty like a fighter pilot?
Own show or not. I've... I've never been like that. Hm?
-Well, then... -Where to, buddy?
-That way first. -Got it.
Use your legs. Hold on.
Man! Otto is heavier than fat old Erika.
- I can do that, like I said... -Beat it.
Look, it's the folk pop God, it's...
Glnni! I can't believe it. You only play with the megastars, hm?
Yes, and with Roland Kaiser.
Oh, get in here. Let Dad...
-Bernd? -I don't believe it.
All the old eggs are here.
Boy, it's UIf. It's been ages. You were so little then.
-Come here. -I was never little.
-And Tanja. -Hello, Mr. Stromberg.
Hello, Ms. Steinke.
Ah! And Mr. Heister. He hasn't changed either, has he?
-Mr. Heisterkamp. -Call me Berthold, Bernd.
Yes. Berthold...
Boy!
-Ah! -Hello.
-Boy, it's Jennifer. -So? Hello, Bernd.
No way. Hello.
-Come here. -Yes.
It's been ages. Oh, again.
Nice.
Come here.
This is Julian.
-Who's he? -My boyfriend.
-Hi. Jules. -Uh-huh. Hello.
Right, please, please, please. Real quick.
We're waiting for Matthias. He's hosting something else.
We'll go through positions, so everyone knows where to go.
Okay, thanks.
HELLO AGAIN, STROMBERG
THE BIG FOLK POP FALL
Folk pop fall!
So, we'll show little clips that...
Give me a sec and it'll go quicker.
So, we'll show clips showing what you're all up to.
And we'll start with you two, UK and Tanja.
You wanted to switch that out because... lame.
True. Can we switch 13 and nine?
Do we have his clip?
Yes, coming.
And here comes the clip. Enjoy.
Look, Ernie.
Berthold Heisterkamp.
More than ten years after leaving Capitol
he now works as a life coach and author.
-And you... -... wrote that, yes.
He suffered years of bullying at work and in private.
LIFE COACH
And it has now become his own success story.
-Life...? -Coaching.
He sees his life as lesson in turning injury into strength
and harsh rejection into overwhelming approval.
Okay, thanks.
Did you include the speech I gave?
In front of 800 people, at Capitol headquarters.
-We can add it. -That'd be good.
-Can we see our clip? -Leave it.
I'd like to see if Capitol comes off well.
Show us what came of the "bang-up" job.
-Okay, is that cued up? -Yup. Clip on its way.
The modern Capitol headquarters.
More than 1,000 people work here now.
Now I know what I didn't miss.
UIf Steinke still doesn't see himself as an ordinary employee
but more as a kind of office rebel with limited career prospects.
-Hot, eh? -Mm-hmm.
For two or three years now I've been in damage minimization.
In my department I could've become a kind of unit head.
But then I realized I wasn't up for that at all.
Yeah, and the test wasn't all that hot.
Can you take that out? Ulf seems like a total boob.
-Okay. Thanks for that. -No, not at all.
-Yes.
Yes. You're like a burger at a highway gas station.
The kind that makes a cow think, "Sucks that it ends here."
It doesn't end there.
Huh? What do you think's going to come?
I gave a speech at our Capitol.
About bullying and how dangerous...
-Can we continue? -Uh, yes.
Thanks.
-And here comes the next clip. -Ah!
Today we're talking about using Al...
-Ah, recorder face. -On the left.
"Peter Pecker."
-Here we've got... -What's with the stupid face?
... of Al...
Now I'd like to show you what else we're doing.
-Oops! -Tanja Steinke has headed...
development at Capitol for three years now.
That was always super important to me, child, marriage and career.
I have to say, Capitol has been great at supporting me in that.
-That's good. -And next.
-Ah, look, it's Marlon. -Marvin.
Yeah. I always liked him.
The next generation of family Steinke
works for Capitol now too.
A few months ago Marvin started professional training here.
Kid, you've got ten left thumbs on each hand.
You even lick wrong.
No. If that doesn't work,
you take a strip of tape...
The work at Capitol still presents
a real challenge to Marvin.
But one the Steinke Family's youngest is glad to tackle.
Well, the mail room's task is...
to make sure key business processes,
through distribution and shipping...
So we're there to...
-... assist in that. -... assist in that.
Yeah.
Yes, just like Daddy.
Okay, till then.
Good that you stuck it out with the little fart... the sweetheart.
Sadly that didn't work out for us back then, right, Schirmy?
Now we're at position 29 in the sequence.
Clip, "Stromberg today."
I'm as eager as a beaver.
You must be boss of a homeless shelter.
Yeah, you'd like that.
The last clip is on its way.
-Whoa! -What is that?
Bernd Stromberg found a new home at Alpha.
The corporation sees itself as an innovative multi-purpose company.
-You work there now? -Morning.
Here, we're not employers
in the sense of employing people.
No, what we do is more like providing tasks that...
So my job as boss here is much different than at Capitol.
Hello there, lady.
We only had one rotten water jug for everyone.
But here every man, and every woman, has his or her own water canister.
Yes, so this is my new Reich.
After Capitol my "second Reich," so to speak.
-Things going well? -Yes...
Stop. Although I did say it.
I said you can't say that anymore.
It has to be said, these are all... Oh!
... all very good people here.
And the office is not only paper-free
but also leadership-free.
In the best sense.
Yes, you say "second Reich,”
then some dumbos go and turn it into the Third Reich.
And you can't say "leadership-free."
Really? Why not?
If I say, "I like doughnut holes," then someone will say, "So did Hitler."
Then you can forget doughnut holes.
And me.
We can take the Hitler thing out.
-Like in the Nazi documentaries? -Enough.
I've got a few remarks about our film clip.
-Yes, and what about me? -Sure, but getting back to me...
How do you lick right?
Quarter of an hour, everyone! 15 minutes!
... normally behave in such a way that...
-Huh? -What's going on?
HELLO AGAIN, STROMBERG
Schirmy.
Yes, I think we've all changed quite a lot.
No, not me. I'm... the same as ever.
Just better.
Okay.
So, how are things going?
Love-wise?
Lo... Love-wise?
God, love. It's like leggings.
It's only for the young.
-You really are the same. -Luckily.
I like how everyone's turned out.
I say that in my courses too.
Every person can evolve and grow.
Well, you were under-evolved back then.
If you've evolved, then we're at square one.
See, stuff like that? No longer bothers me.
Not at all. Uh-uh.
Oh. Good.
Yes, and where were the two of us?
Get the bald dude off the boob tube!
-Get the bald... -Are they my groupies or something?
-No, I don't think so. -Well, I do.
Maybe you should go over there.
Maybe I'll go over there.
Yeah.
Get the bald dude off the boob tube!
Have I always done everything right?
Most definitely.
Uh, not.
But can I do it better from now on?
Yes, absolutely.
Get the bald dude off the boob tube!
Can a black person work in a tanning salon?
Well, back in the day no one thought about such things.
Nowadays I'd say...
you'd have to ask one of them, not me.
Right? That's what it's about. What do those...
I mean, what do all the...
How is it to be in their shoes? Do they even have shoes?
Now, I mean that figuratively.
Uh... Empathy.
That's what matters.
You have to learn it first, I admit to that.
The younger generation was certainly a step ahead on that.
But being that and not losing your sense of humor
is at least equally important.
Young people can certainly learn something from me about that.
From Daddy.
"He seems like a total wussy?"
I didn't say that. I said "boob."
Of course, that's much better.
Because you kept your mouth shut like a wussy.
We have a right to our own image. The Capitol lawyers said so.
Can you stop with that crap?
It's just for a reel, dog. Totally chill.
-I'm not live. -Maybe you should ask.
Before you start recording, you boob.
What's up here?
We have a right to our own image. Ever heard that?
Relax, please.
-Another one. -Look there.
Ah, isn't that Uncle Detlef's nephew?
He likes slipping in the backdoor.
-Just take his hand... -That's a wrap.
-Some rear action! -What did I just say?
-He likes sticking his ding-dong... -Hey!
Are you nuts or something?
Oh, UIf.
The hobbits are out on an outing today.
Yes, they are.
-Hey! -Come here!
-It was just a joke. -Yeah, yeah. Come here!
Stop it now.
Come on, let's go inside.
Sascha, we urgently need...
You can't smack him!
Of course I can, you heard him.
Oh, those are just old chestnuts.
They're your old chestnuts.
Yes, but they're no longer valid.
It's like with old adages.
"If the farmer dies in bed his almanac goes unread."
Bad example. You know what I mean. That's not valid anymore either.
It obviously is to them.
But, uh... Does he... Has he...
Is he...
Marvin?
What?
No, that... Um...
LGB... XYZ.
So is he... Is he one of those letters?
Yeah... Uh...
What if he is?
Yeah, well... Why not?
That's... That makes sense.
Nice, dude.
-You're not uploading any of that. -Look at him blow up.
-Did you hear me? -He's mighty strange in real life.
Delete it, please.
-Yeah. -Yes. Completely.
Yeah, sure thing.
Oh, I'm hungry.
UIf?
Yeah, I talked to him. I think he got it.
What? Who?
-With the guy out there. -With Marvin! Have you spoken to him?
No, I thought you talked to him.
But he can do something else besides...
nothing.
-Sure. -Now...
Hold up. You know what I mean.
You're always...
I hadn't found my inner balance back then.
-You may not be able to imagine that. -Sure I can.
I very often went home at night and thought
that everything sucked.
-I'm sure you know that. -Nope.
-Exactly. -Actually not.
But I found a way out.
And in my book it tells you how...
to get there.
Ah!
Right.
I put one in there for all of you, a copy of it.
-I don't need it, I don't think. -No? It...
Oh! My book.
Honey! Open up, please.
-We just want to talk to you. -I'm on my phone.
Open it up now!
We can call this all off right now. That's not a problem.
Yeah, okay.
Or we stick it out till the end.
Hm? What do you say to that?
Yeah, okay.
Psychologists call this a mental health crisis.
-We'll manage fine alone. -Symptoms of a dissociative...
Oh yes, you may not know what that means, right?
-Well, when someone... -Ernie, shut the hell up.
UIf, that is a classic example
of overreaction due to overload.
-Would you guys... Hey! -I'm on my phone.
-It was UIf I... - I told you earlier...
I wanted to bop UIf.
UK. Hey!
Leave his phone be! You're being silly.
So, real quick. We'll finish rehearsals tomorrow.
Things are getting out of hand outside.
How many more times? I'm on my phone!
Evening.
-Thanks. -Certainly.
Can I get you anything else?
It was nothing to get excited about.
Said the priest as he got off the nun.
Those people will calm down in a jiffy.
So nasty.
The book, I didn't want that.
Yes, I know, Emie. I...
We're going to call this off now, the whole business.
Pardon? That's more overblown than these prices.
No.
UIf?
Sure, but I can finish my drink, right?
Of course all the quips earlier were shitty.
But humor always depends on context.
That should be clear to her, even as a woman.
You can't show silent movies to the blind.
-No, you can't do that. -Like I said.
No, making remarks about the blind and stuff.
Good...
What I'm saying is you don't read a cookbook on the shitter.
That's what I mean by...
That's what I mean...
Hm?
That's what I mean by context.
-Although the cookbook itself... -Forget it. It's over.
-Bye. -Now don't you leave too.
Ullf!
-I mean... -The first step is asking forgiveness.
-Hm? -When you've offended someone.
There's a whole chapter about it, in my book.
Although the most important thing is listening.
Because if you don't do that, then you don't know what... who...
And what kind of...
-Sit down. -No.
Relax.
Look, it's Mario... Marvin.
We've met before. Do you remember?
- I don't think so. -Sure you do!
You were even shorter than him then.
-Ulf, we're going now, okay? -Give me a second.
Anyway, your "mother" thinks...
That is, um... Tanja thinks...
I mean, she is your mother.
She thinks that all those old chestnuts from before...
She says you can't use them anymore.
And I know that.
And... I didn't want it back then either.
I just wanted you to know that.
That...
You're sealed up tighter than a can of Ravioli.
You can apologize again now. Ravioli?
Ah, you keep it to yourself!
-Nothing has changed. - I could go for another beer.
Higgledy-piggledy! What I want to say, Marvin is...
I am not nor have I ever been anti...
-... homo... Uh... -... phobic?
Exactly.
Whoever sticks whatever in whom...
Or rather, whoever's...
yeah, well, I'll say loving...
I never cared or poked... I never poked fun at them.
But, you, you I never would have...
Poked me?
That's right.
Hm?
All those people who looked like you...
-Bernd. -Bernd.
I thought they were all kind of strange.
Mm-hmm. Yes, but they're all...
I'm not like that! Hm?
To cut it short, no "hard" feelings between us.
-Well? -Good God! This is unbelievable.
Oh, quite the mood around here. Like back then at Capitol.
Yes, we're calling this whole thing off.
Really?
Yeah, it really is like back then.
What's with the stupid laugh?
-Nothing. -All right then.
Get me a sparking juice.
Don't talk to her like that, or him.
-What? -What do you mean "what"?
Hey.
Strutting around like Mr. Muckety-Muck.
It's getting real. I was really...
Sit down, you nut job!
Are you nuts?
Come on, let's all go have a drink.
Come on.
-Everyone! -Come along too, okay?
Well, with Julian I thought I'd ignore my gut feeling
because my gut's been a total moron when it comes to men.
Yes, and with Julian my gut said, "Absolutely not with him."
Sorry.
Stop it.
And now we've been together for quite a while.
Right, let's stick this out together, hm?
Like before. It wasn't all bad.
-Well, it usually was for me. -Yes, but you were often...
Why?
Yes, that's true. And it wasn't okay back then.
And I... I apologize for that.
-Yeah? -No!
It really wasn't okay.
I apologize for that, Berthold. Really.
You can't just apologize.
-And you too. -What?
Here.
Yeah, like that's going to happen.
UIf?
Ullf!
-I'm sorry. -There you go. Wasn't so hard.
Yes, that was really nice.
Yes, I have to say so. I mean...
I was a little moved.
But it's true.
When you apologize for injustices,
things like slavery or the GDR, or for me,
then that's a start.
And...
Sorry.
Heisterkamp?
UIf, I'm still here...
Yes, I'm still against bullying.
UIf.
Yeah, funny. Um, I'm sorry.
-This is new. -Yes, but it's the best.
Right, careful. Tanja, the thing...
Move it! Heading home is nonsense.
-Yes, I agree. - I still think it's...
That's obvious, sure. But once, for old time's sake.
Right, Schirmy?
It's got the good stuff in it.
-Just for you. -Thanks.
UIf, what do you say?
What else will he be thinking, the pretty-boy greaser.
Come on, forget your booze and you losed.
We just need to get your phone phony to an animal shelter
and it'll be like back then.
Holy fucking shit, dude!
What's up?
-Dude, it really went off. -What?
-They called in the police. -Where?
Where is that?
Hey, hey, hey.
Get the bald dude off the boob tube!
-It's really kicking off. -Crazy.
Whoa, they're postponing the show at least two days.
Two days...
Let's have another.
-Can I get another one. -I'm good, thanks.
Please serve yourself.
Look, a fitness studio and a sauna.
-I don't have anything for that. -Please check battery.
What do you need for the sauna?
Discovering your inner child is very important.
Oh yes, the reception here... Um...
I said your inner child's important.
Your inner...
If you're a doctor, then no. Being a child is dumb then.
Just hold on a second. I'm working here.
Yes? That's because of the child, the reception.
-Hold on. -He's not answering, is he?
-He had fun yesterday. -Why?
He told me so earlier.
He's not answering when I call. He has to be excused at Capitol.
Think about why he's not answering you.
Yeah, UIf.
Because you don't think of it. It's still his probation period.
Turn an eye, it doesn't even have to be blind.
Always "Capitol, Capitol, Capitol."
Jules?
Oh, no. Sorry, I can't do that yet.
Good morning. Have you seen Julian anywhere?
-No. -Okay.
-There are no mistakes. -Jules?
Just experiences, and... Well, okay, that's a mistake.
Yes, the leg will be missing.
The leg.
Jenny? Jennykins?
Right, kids. Just briefly. They want to redo the clip today.
With me at Alpha. Less Hitler and stuff.
But it'll be done in a jiffy with an old pro like me.
In and out, that's what making babies is all about, right?
-Oh! Hello. -Morning.
Afterwards we'll all do something nice together.
No. I mean letting go in general.
Not during surgery.
-Hey. -All right, till later.
-Hey. -Hey.
There you are.
Disgusting.
L... Luna is your name.
I'm Bernd.
Just, uh... Just Bernd.
Luna.
Names like that didn't exist in my day.
Luna.
The girls in my class were all called Gabi, Annette,
or... Gisela.
Like with the pope. The have a few names with numbers.
John Paul |, John Paul ll. Benedict the... and so on.
But nowadays everyone has to be unique.
But, yeah, it sounds... It sounds pretty nice.
Luna.
I'm not saying things used to be better. They weren't.
For example, my parents didn't even hug me on holy days.
And when I say hi to someone ...
Dude! Hey, what the hell?
Not hugging in the sense of touching.
-But rather... -How sad can you be?
Sad? Why sad? What do you mean by sad?
I'll go tell them we're here, okay?
Oh God!
She model led for a pharmacy magazine, for cover on depression.
I'll go inside too.
Oh, this can't even be compared to Capitol.
When they served soup there all we had was forks.
We don't even get soup here. Here we get sushi with a smoothie.
It was a pretty big adjustment.
I admit that openly and honestly.
I could come from here.
"This is the realm I work in now."
Oh no, realm means "Reich."
I'll do it differently.
What do sperm and a boss have in common?
They both have little chance of becoming human.
A joke. No, I...
I won't say that. That was...
Boy. I mean...
She's lean on the humor.
Almost to the point of "joke-orexia."
I didn't even know the difference between transponder and transgender.
Figuratively.
But then they said to me, "Mr. Stromberg..." That's me.
"You can learn that kind of thing,
but seeing which way the wind blows...
where it's coming from and where it's heading
and where the rub is, you can't learn that.
And you know that, Mr...
my dear Mr. Stromberg.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
No comparison.
I could be here, like this...
-Yes, or... -Aha, look.
I thought that I...
I wouldn't have guessed it. Fancy.
What are you guys doing here?
I think you can forget your new clip.
-Hm? -Capitol doesn't want it anymore.
Just because tattletale Steinke called bosses.
You saw that yesterday with the cops. It was linked to the company.
Uh... What... What's going on?
They don't want us to do any of it anymore.
-They're distancing themselves from you. -Distancing...
-Go on, show him. -Wait? Where's the grandpa?
They could use someone under 100 to explain social media to them.
Here.
-Die Capitol... -Ah, it's Klink...
... Xenophobic statements once made by a former employee.
His statements and opinions were never shared by management.
-That's... -How cringe can you be?
Capitol be like, "Yeah."
Some Jorg from the station got cold feet.
Can I see that quick?
That's hogwash, Ms... Luna.
We'll film the clip anyway, right?
No. I don't think so.
The fat lady in the studio said to come get you.
-Ulf! -Hm?
-Oh. Yes, hello. It's me. -My phone? Thanks.
Is the whole thing canceled or just him?
-Canceled? -Ah, I...
I see. Okay.
-What's she mean canceled? -Right, I'll pass that on.
Hello?
I mean, people think aristocracy is silly now too,
but back when Lady Di was in Paris
and crashed into the wall drunk everyone felt sorry for her.
-What? -Lady Di with that Dodi guy.
She wasn't drunk and it wasn't a wall.
-Even I know that. -I don't know...
Please. You're not going to start crying, are you?
I'm just like Lady Di.
Outwardly successful, but totally messed up inside.
She had it tough professionally too,
but then she was gone and everyone cried and brought flowers.
I'm like Lady Di, just with a beard.
Please, Luna.
-Wow, what a cool machine, huh? -Yeah, awesome.
So, I've had a chat with Luna.
We'll continue, without all the old stuff.
What's dumped is dumped, said the toilet. I'll do more here.
-It's way cooler here than by us. -Capitol isn't that bad.
So this is really your office, is it?
Now, Jennifer, no need to act as if that's a huge surprise.
Yes there is.
I wouldn't have thought it either.
And what kind of a place is this?
Mm-hmm, right.
Yeah, uh... UIf.
We have loads of different departments here.
R & D, development, distribution, lots of different... Oh!
-The AD is in here now. -This is Gael.
Not gay... The name's Ga-él with two... on the E.
Exactly. Can you be out in ten minutes?
Very good worker. Parents are from Chile or Mexico, thereabouts.
Isn't the AD in here?
This is Bamsa.
-Basma. -Oh.
And she works here too.
-Hello
Here, this is my old department, Jennifer, Ernie, Tanja. UIf.
- I haven't seen the presentation yet. -Oh, lame. I'll send it to you.
-Do that. -Yes, do that. Bye.
And they're from your department?
How do you get along with them?
Yeah, great.
-Yeah? -Didn't look like it at all.
We do.
What is elderflower?
Sweaty feet with pus, UIf!
This isn't here to be fiddled with,
like your Mom at the bargain counter.
Well, I'll make us some coffee, hm?
Today is all about mindfulness.
I already said this to her already, that...
Would the driver of the Griitzke Electronics van move it...
Stromberg couldn't even write an email, now he's got a space shuttle.
-I have my own homepage. -Mm-hmm. www.total moron.de?
-With music and all. -You wanted to stop that.
-Yes, but it doesn't bother me anymore. -No?
He at least wrote a book. You haven't even read one.
Books are like a telephone booths, no one needs them anymore.
UIf, did you turn that on?
Hello?
-Hello? -Fuck.
Hi there, this is Mo. Sorry, can you hear us?
Hi!
-We can see you. Can you see us? -Oh, it's hot. Ah!
-We not belong here. To this company. -Sorry, what?
Uh, I only have on the...
-How do you say Fernbedienung? -Férnbedeinung?
-Bedienung is "service." -Shut it.
-What's your name again? -UIf.
I just have, um... I don't...
-Go on. What do you say? -We are just currently visiting.
Might be a switch up with the rooms.
-A switch up. Sorry. -What are you guys doing here?
The UIf has the Férnbedeinung and I have the coffee machine broken.
They can see us, but in English.
They've deseeded your melons!
Captain Crackpot screws up again! Dumb as a chair but with only two legs.
This is really like back then. God damn it!
You can't be left alone for five minutes. Go away.
-Turn that off! -I can't turn it off.
Not my zoo, not my apes.
They used to be, but I'm not responsible for them now.
- I refuse to accept that. -Mm-hmm.
Could you reformulate that, Bernd?
Oh, I mean, Ernie, he's... He's allergic to thinking.
And UIf is like the village idiot.
Try to say it in a more appreciative way.
Yes, come on. That'll do. I know.
Hm?
-I've got a call with Toronto. -I'll go too.
Uh, I don't... I don't quite get exactly what...
Hey, you have to see this. It's so off-the-wall.
-Hello? Watch it! -What?
-You're always so rough. -Ulf's the same.
Can you say that again all sexy in English?
Attention. This is some awesome shit.
We wanted to get out of here.
- I wouldn't touch that again. -Why not?
Arabia was on there before.
-Have you seen Stromberg anywhere? -Yes. Here.
Learned from Bernd.
Or like with the hare and the hedgehog.
When the hare says, "Oh, Hedgehog, look at you with your crooked legs."”
Today the hedgehog would say,
"Ah! Body-shaming.
Trauma, therapy. Ick, ick!"
And the story would be over.
Wait, wait.
Or rather, there wouldn't be a story.
As always, we don't want to be like Bernd.
So we're inviting you to a workshop on Mental Health in the Workplace.
- I don't get it. -There are tons of clips like this.
"Learned from Bernd." That's kind of funny.
But it's a joke. Right?
This is awesome too.
Learned from Bernd.
Nowadays no one has to perform.
Today you get a winner's certificate
just for showing up with your gym bag.
Nowadays everyone's great.
Slow is great, fat is great.
Primitive, naive, depressed. Who gives a crap, it's all great.
But we should ask ourselves...
how great is it really?
As always, we don't want to be like Bernd.
-Crazy. Where did you get those? - I talked to a few people.
But that means...
-What does it mean? -Here's one on diversity. So awesome.
Two dimwits don't don't really brighten up a room.
Multiply negatives in the office and you get a double negative.
You like to compare things. You're like this light switch.
-You only have one function. -But I'm...
On, off.
On, off, on.
But I have...
If it can only turn the light on, or only off,
then what does that mean?
-But what I wanted... -It's no good to us anymore.
Do you know what I mean?
But what does that mean for me? For your appreciation of me?
I can assess your value to the company very easily.
Please remember: take a short moment to...
And remember to drink water.
Uh, how long have you been...
Did you get the whole thing with the light swi...
But she's...
You know? Pfft.
I...
Always reminds me of "Black" Berkel. Hm?
Berkel back then at Capitol.
She was another one of these... women.
Oh!
They just threw us out of your cool "office."
-Oh! -They say you don't have an office here.
Yes, now's a very bad time.
Oh, why's that? Time to do another "Learned from Bernd"?
Can it be that you're just a kind of figurehead here?
Yes... UM.
If you're ignorant about modern management...
A dog in the office?
Basma says we can all imitate you, Bernd.
I'm like a whale, a business whale.
I have to keep swimming... Blah-blah.
-He used to say those things to us. -No one took him seriously then either.
Here our office bore is Bernd Stromburgor.
Better to be a mascot than have no job. I mean, the few years he's got to go...
Marketing thought it was a good throwback idea.
But our marketing department is crap.
Come on, don't run off. We're just joking!
He's like a lunch lady, he can dish it out but can't stomach it.
He's like herpes, really annoying and persistent to boot.
Hey! What are you doing there?
-Calm down. Hey! -Leave me be.
Damn greenery!
-Did he knock those over? -Of course.
Well, I'm not going after him.
What happened?
He's lost it.
"Could you say that in a more appreciative way?"
Sure, you can't joke about anything now, but no problem if it's about me.
The normal working man who likes women.
He's the only acceptable laughingstock?
Nope!
Nope! I'm not okay with that.
Right?
Hm?
Up until a few years ago the Poles and Asians were okay.
Although even then, not the... Indians, or the...
Oh, what are they called?
Whatever. But generally that was okay. But today...
No jokes, knock it off!
Well, now I'm knocking off.
Hey!
Hello. I need your key.
-What? Why? -Because I say so. I'm from security.
-No. -Yes.
No, you're "Learn from Bert" or whatever.
Beat it!
-He used to flip out then too. -But not like this.
-He threw my Smurf into the toilet. -He hit him.
It was a rare Smurf.
-What do we do now? -You didn't post that, did you?
-Hm? -That'd make me a pro. And what am I?
What? And they'll see it at Capitol too?
Baloney, as if someone at Capitol knows who he is.
-That's not how it works now. -Have you heard anything?
It'd be so awesome if he went to jail.
Why would that be awesome?
Says the guy who got in a fight yesterday.
-200 euros, easy. -What?
-That Smurf. Minimum. -Really? Kick ass!
Watchman Smurf is worth even more.
He flushed. The Smurf was gone.
Ernie, don't annoy us with your damn Smurf.
They haven't gotten far. The other cameraman called in. Let's go!
Right, now I'll tell you how I... You running?
Now I'll tell you how I see it. The reality is...
mixed-grain bread.
Yes. You need wheat...
um...
and yeast.
Oats.
Uh... Shit! I can't even manage this now.
Keep it running.
Is it running? Yes.
Now ['ll tell you how I see it.
Right now no one knows which way is left or right, you know?
Or how to go straight ahead!
Where does he get off driving like that?
Good Lord!
He should be...
No harm done, right? He was to blame.
Driving his wheelbarrow as if it were a getaway car.
Does it still hurt?
I just wanted to give my view of things for once.
And then I guess we'll just drive back, okay?
Right then. Okay.
Um, yes. The... The...
Hello.
The scapegoat doesn't go with the herd. That's obvious.
But if people like me are to blame for everything, then that's a mistake.
Like back then with Betamax and...
Shut your faces!
Fuck!
Hey!
Damn greenery!
I wrote to Marvin to let him know.
Great. If he doesn't hear from you hourly, he'll lose it.
-Oh, UIf. -Psychologically, it's interesting...
-I had something to drink. -It's a little early to drink.
Ha-ha! I mean water.
He just never answers, never.
Don't be so hysterical. Stromberg flipping out is enough.
-Look, here. Water. -Yes, just chill.
Who are you writing? Show me.
Hey, what the...
-Psychologically, it's interesting... -What's this?
It's nothing.
What is this?
"I'm thinking of you." That's nice, Tanja. After so long.
-Ulf, give it here. UN, give it here. -Get the... Hey!
Can we stop please?
-That's probably not so nice. -Can we stop?
UIf, there's no point.
UIf, please come down here.
This could take forever.
You're being stupid. Let's talk.
-UIf, careful! -He's going to break a bone.
Please!
-Hey, don't do that now. -It's all content.
-But it's an embarrassing for them. -Cute.
-I don't get it. -Ulf, please.
Hey, are you nuts?
Hey, Jenny, That's such a wicked thing to do.
Ah!
You got a wet wipe?
Do you? No. Oh, shucks.
There it is. Here!
Give it to me please. UIf!
What the...
This is so childish. Please give me my phone.
Right, you see? This is the perfect spot.
Here you can see how they used to...
how they used to treat people like me, with monuments.
Hm? Right.
And this is for Gott... uh, E-P...
Oh, Lessing. Hm? Lessing.
And they did that for centuries.
Because important things come from?
From? Hm? Men!
Men like me.
Look, um, blood...
printing, cars, electricity.
Women's suffrage. Everything.
All the vital things come from...
Hello? Right now I'm... That racket isn't helping, okay?
-Sorry, what? -Good heavens. Sorry, what?
It's me.
The security guy. Okay?
Security.
What's up, dog?
Order here.
Ne? Not here party-making with jungle music.
Hey! What the hell was that?
-Chill, man. -Dude!
-Hey, boss. Chill. Don't stress it. -Yes!
Yes, me, the boss. And I am stressed. Always have been.
And you sit here swinging in your welfare hammock.
Concerts start in the evenings, always have.
Even... rock concerts.
I don't have anything against
work-life... work balance.
But they're just living life. That's no life.
Then it isn't.
Calm down.
-Oh, God! -Dude!
He's bleeding.
Dangerous... What nonsense.
I wasn't dangerous.
I wasn't, and I'm not.
Dangerous! That's what other people say.
I grazed him at most.
G... Grozed.
What is the word?
Dangerous.
Oh, what's this?
A hunter doesn't hunt because he's got a problem with the buck.
No.
He does it to restore order out in the forest!
And my forest is the world.
Can we go?
Psychologically, it's interesting
that children sense tension between parents.
When they're not happy, they aren't happy either.
It was like that for me as a kid.
When were you last happy, Tanja?
You know when an eyelash falls out, from near your eye,
and you can blow it away?
You can make a wish.
I always wanted to be happy enough to blow it away without making a wish.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, but I never have been.
If someone had asked me what I'd rather have, money or love?
I wouldn't have said money.
But today?
I mean...
if you don't blow all your money like a dumb-ass,
then you'll have something left, a house or a car, whatever.
But when the love is gone...
what are you left with?
A family.
But you have to take care of it.
Forever.
Let's drive back please.
Oh, Tanja, my book is also available as an audio book.
The voice over artist did that streetcar announcement.
"There are children on the tracks."
-Here. You know it? -No.
Right, I'll see what the minibar has to offer.
Wait, here. Here. In-ears.
Look!
What? It's for them.
-Want one? -No.
Anyone? Fine.
Fuck you ! won't do what you tell me
You're on that the whole time. It's no better.
It def is. I mean, look what I found.
-Hey. Hey, hey! -He's bleeding.
And that crap...
Oh, he really is bleeding.
-Call an ambulance. -What? Is he taking off now?
-Where's he going? -Where is that?
-That was a lot of blood. -Damn!
Let's go over there, huh?
What are you doing here?
-Everyone's meeting up again. -Who?
-Everyone -Why?
And then I said Nicole, Ms. Riickert,
she's one of us too.
To what?
-May I come in? -And they're here too?
No.
Well, yes, I mean... Just because.
Look, I brought you these. You always liked to...
That was so shabby of you back then.
Yes, but it wasn't just that.
It was.
Well, you're being like a reverse sundial now,
one that only measures the dark hours.
If you only read the first part of War and Peace,
then it's going to be sour.
What do you mean War and Peace?
Hm? Yeah...
I don't know, I haven't read it. I just mean...
-Yes, can I come in? -I'm not even properly dressed.
That's good.
Yeah.
When you're young, you want a woman who's like Brazil.
Beach and sand all day long and samba in the evening, hm?
And then...
And at my age you're glad to have one like this... from Baden-Wirttemberg.
And, in the end, from the Ore Mountains.
Hello.
Shoes off.
Guys, it's really sick. Stromberg is totally unhinged.
He attacked peaceful people here in the People's Park.
Look at this!
Dude! Someone could've died here.
It's a laceration. Lots of blood, but not deadly.
It was def a super close call. Who knows where he'll rampage next.
Jenny and I will stay on it.
I swear, I've always stood up for him, Stromberg, top dog.
But this is just crazy, dude. He's blowing things up.
I only blow stuff up gaming, or hit the blow on weekends.
I was always down with Stromberyg. But running amok like this is just sick.
Seven in ten attackers have only a wreath of hair.
Shout-out to Julian G. Great that you're staying on it.
I can't wait to see what comes next.
Right, time for a nice...
They're here because you posted that?
Yes, because of me. Who else?
We're really taking off. 22,000 new followers already.
ltd be great if he keeps flipping out.
I swear, we go over a million, then... premium ad shit.
Samsung, at the least.
-May I ask you something? -Mm-hmm.
Things are really taking off for us, Jenny baby.
Are we really only...
You and I, is that the only reason...
I have to upload that quick, okay?
Hey, Jenny baby.
Come here.
Hm?
We're super tight, us too, hm?
Hm? Come here.
Everything's fine, Jenny.
-To our success. -Very good.
-Hm? -Man, this is good!
For Lurchi! For Lurchi!
Lurchi!
I won't let a rubble woman like that accuse me of sexism.
I mean, no need for a motion sensor when we had sex then.
You just want to hear that you weren't that bad!
That everything was good! But it wasn't! It just wasn't!
That was way before #MeToo. I already said that.
No one knew that stuff about women back then!
Good God!
But... But even she... Even she has two kids now.
Just imagine it. Everyone has something.
You were a mistake. A big fat mistake!
Yeah. That's the only thing I ever wanted.
A bit... A bit of happiness.
It's true, everything you say in your book.
Yeah? Yeah, right?
I really thought I wanted that.
A husband, a kid, a house, a job.
-And half board. -Yes, all of it.
And, actually, I still want that, but with someone who wants it too.
I could've ruined my life with drugs.
Or...
Or betting on soccer. No idea.
But with a woman from the office?
How shitty is that?
Yeah, most people think they want what everyone wants, me included.
Just that no one ever wanted me.
And then I said, "Fine, then I'll be my own person."
Yeah, maybe I need to become that still.
I'm almost 50. I want to finally start living my life.
You know, my life.
Well, you can. You just have to...
-Let go. -Let go. That's right.
Ah, someone threw apple juice at me.
At least I hope it was apple juice.
But then I hit the guy with an apple, right here.
And, no shitting you, I don't know the last time I thought... awesome!
You know? Awesome!
At least not at home.
The way you describe it sounds really good.
Yes, it is. You can't be bullied by yourself.
Ah!
Nice, isn't it?
Man! Smells just like before, doesn't it?
Like that thrown together slurpy sludge
from that spaghetti spaz.
Yeah, what? It doesn't matter with him. Nothing matters now.
But...
everything still feels like back then.
Hm?
Whoops!
There's no one here.
Yes, this was...
This was once my whole world.
And now it's...
It's just empty.
Just empty.
Now it's a whole different world.
But insurance is... It's just nonsense.
If your brats drink toilet cleaner,
why should insurance pay for it?
I mean, life is risk.
Right? And all the people riding bikes with helmets on.
I always hope a bus will come by and run over their legs.
Yes, well, the only interesting thing is failure.
Only failure is victory.
But sometimes failure is just failure, and then it sucks.
Yes, it sucks all the same.
CAPITOL INSURANCE CLAIM SETTLEMENT
Who do they think they are?
...assholes.
At some point you're just...
out of the picture.
Erased.
-He may have driven home. -There's nothing there.
When things suck, you don't go where things suck.
You go where things were once better.
-The old Capitol building? -Yes.
Where would you go? Where is everything good for you?
-Def not an office. -Yeah, but where?
No idea. Where things are kicking?
Somewhere with a beach and party and stuff.
So just not where I am, right? Got it.
Hm?
Stop being childish for once.
-That was all I wanted. -"That was all I wanted."
I wanted things to continue, with us.
Ugh! Do you have to do that?
It's watermelon.
Oh, geesh.
How many times did I walk over this?
A lot.
Every day, back then.
Yeah, that was the best time.
You guys got a euro?
Uh, yeah. Sure.
But you won't get very far with a euro, will you?
Inflation, rising prices.
So I'd say at least two. Five would be better.
-Five is good. -Yes.
No. I don't have that.
I've got... I've got nothing.
I've got nothing too, lots of it.
Look, I, um... I was once the boss over there.
And I live down there.
Ah. Mm-hmm.
I'm Bernd.
Whoa, you need to hang a Little Tree around your neck, man.
-Here. -Thanks.
Ah, still here.
Hey, I'm not running after Stromberg the whole time.
No signal, dude. Fuck, man.
Do you feel like our life should be our life?
-Yeah, but Lehnhoff! -Oh, Wusel.
From me to Lehnhoff is like going from Bayern Munich to Muckfield United.
-Listen, Ernie said... -Yeah!
Ernie Heisterkamp. Since when do we ask him?
-It's better here. -It's not about that at all.
-I'm making a quick clip. -What the...
-Hey, what? -He really was here. Not long ago.
He was dead set on visiting the old department.
Did he have a beef? Did he cut someone, with a stapler?
Man, shut the hell up, dude!
Yeah, I was feeling like Bernd is now here once.
Luckily he found me back then.
I wouldn't be here anymore if he hadn't.
It was nothing.
He's sure to still be here somewhere.
Shit.
What's up now?
What?
Oh, man. I'm really getting...
Here, Harry, this is nice and warm.
And you?
Yeah, if no one needs me anymore, then I don't need anything.
Oh. What's this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That won't do any good.
Nothing will do any good.
No, no, I mean it's not high enough.
-Mr. Stromberg! -No! You nuts!
-Get down from there! -Wait! I always say let go, but...
Aua. Ah!
Shit, I squished my nuts.
Where... Where did you guys come from?
It's a long story.
Yeah, I had... I...
I just wanted to... I had... Um...
I know that. I wanted that once too.
Aren't you cold?
I...
I figured there's not always a happy end.
Sometimes there's just an end.
But when you hit rock bottom, things start looking up again.
Not if you hit bottom here.
Life can be beautiful even if things don't quite work out professionally.
Yeah, or if you don't have a relationship or a family.
-Yes, or friends. -It's not so terrible.
-Yes, it can still... somehow. -Yes, I agree.
Well, now I am a bit cold, you know?
Yeah?
-Can I have that back? -No!
You didn't want to call it quits, did you?
-UIf! -Things are shitty for us all.
-And just because you're old... -UIft
-What did I do wrong now? -No, everything's fine. Stay down there.
And please stop sharing our damn location!
Okay? All those people are here again.
-Are they for or against Stromberg? -Who gives a crap?
Are we for or against Stromberg?
Careful!
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
We need a doctor!
This is Hello again, Stromberg.
Please welcome your host, Matthias Opdenhédvel!
Good evening!
Thank you! Welcome.
Hello.
Welcome to a special kind of reunion.
A reunion that we honestly imagined entirely differently.
We can't kick off this evening
without talking about the images
that have been going through social media these last 24 hours.
Stromberg, beat it! No one needs it!
Ah, fuck!
-Fuck. Shit. -Is he dead?
Shit. Fuck!
Is it really him?
-Say... -Ah.
So you really fell on those two women?
Nonsense!
-What? But... -It was three or four, at least.
They were more like this.
And it wasn't actually that high after all.
We thought long and hard about showing that.
But you wanted to...
We're doing it because things turned out all right
for the man who was supposed to be the focus here this evening.
Whoa! Say, have you already been...
Mm-hmm.
First, I'm going to talk to the man who has very unexpectedly
become the focus over the past two days.
He really made us sweat
because he's to blame for tonight's show being totally different...
-Wait. You got it? -Mm-hmm.
He now has over 800,000 followers.
-Oh! -He was right in the thick of things.
Please welcome Julian Gilsmeyer, aka Julian G!
-Hey, Matthias. -Julian.
Well? Dude!
You're a content creator. I think that's what they say.
We used to say influencer.
As I just mentioned, you were right there the last two days.
You brought some footage that we just saw.
Can you tell us how it came about?
Yeah, Bernd and I kind of hit it off right away.
And I thought how he was being treated was sick.
We'll move to the man whose name is up there.
A man who's experienced more highs and lows than a weather map.
A man who showed us all what it means to be a boss.
Here is... Bernd Stromberg.
Lurchi! Lurchi! Lurchi!
Mr. Stromberg. Good evening.
Have a seat.
First, the most important question. How are you?
Well, at the moment I'm lamer than the proverbial duck.
Do we want to talk to Marvin before we go out?
- I thought you had to go to makeup? -I already was.
Oh, really?
Maybe you can explain it.
In what way do you get the impression you've been misunderstood?
Well, if there is no boss anymore,
then that makes us all just employees.
And, in theory, that can...
that can work.
But East Germany also worked in theory.
-Lurchi... -Sometimes things evolve.
-And that's good for everyone. -Yes, but they bullied me out of a job.
Yes, yes, and not just out of that job,
they bullied me off of that bridge too.
-Yes, but maybe... -Bullied me off that bridge, Mr...
-Opdenhovel. -It's not just me who says that.
You know, certified bullying experts say the same.
For example, people like Dr. Berthold Heisterkamp.
Where is he anyway?
Ernie!
And now the run of the show is being thrown overboard.
Ernie! Ernie! Ernie...
Can we just briefly...
He is an important man.
And he's written a good book.
We were going to plug it later.
-Have you read it? -Um... It's a very, very good book.
What would you say about bullying in the workplace?
-It continues to be an issue. -There.
-We shouldn't allow... -Exactly.
-I wasn't finished. -That's right.
And that's it, bullying can affect anyone.
Even people like him.
Or even me.
-Or... People like you! -That's right.
Yes, that's right. And... Yes.
Yes, and...
And if you really go into yourselves for once,
you'll see you're sick of the bullying from below too.
You're glad when you have a boss telling you what to do,
what not to do and how to do things.
And that's what this is about!
-That there's someone up top who... -Lurchi! Lurchi! Lurchi!
-It wasn't like that at all. -No one manages without a boss.
-Yes, although I have to say... -It wasn't like that at all.
Nothing on Instagram is like it was.
No one's that happy, busy or pretty.
You know that.
But Jennykins. Look at this.
Loads of haters.
And a lot more followers.
Ka-Ching! We can become our own brand.
You do your own eyeliner. I'll do my own ice tea.
No idea how many times a heart can be broken till it's ruined for good.
I mean, maybe only once,
and then there's not really
any point anymore.
Maybe it's just an old muscle full of blood anyway.
Totally disgusting, actually.
Maybe none of it really exists.
Yeah, maybe it doesn't exist, love.
Truth, freedom.
Maybe the only thing that really exists is money after all.
The winds of change in society have shifted
in the favor of a leader and authority.
Our survey says 68 percent of people want Bernd Stromberg as their boss.
There's been a lot of support for Bernd Stromberg,
on all platforms.
Here's a little taste.
As a member of the Capitol board I want to stress...
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD CAPITAL INSURANCE
... that we've distanced ourselves from some of his statements,
but certainly not from Bernd Stromberg the person.
He always thought the S in SPD stood for Stromberyg.
But a bit more Stromberg would probably do the SPD good.
LEADER OF THE SPD
Bernd Stromberg...
FORMER CEO SIEMENS AG
-Der Kaeser! -... Is special.
Not always right, but he's a doer!
CDU GENERAL SECRETARY
He has a vision of how things should be.
He thinks big. He's ambitious.
I'm really nervous.
You needn't be. We're just going on TV briefly.
No, about Manu.
From the hotel bar. He wrote to me.
Um, listen, we wanted to tell you something anyway.
Not now!
You do notice that you always gripe, no matter what I say.
-That's not what this is about. - I wanted to tell you guys something.
That you... Without you...
I mean, me alone, I wouldn't have managed at all.
Hm?
You're the best parents.
For someone who doesn't have real parents.
It's not my fault that everything got out of hand.
You were certainly partially responsible.
-What? -Yeah...
You wanted to get rid of everything. All "the sexist bullshit."
Her words, not mine, Jorg. Although I get her point.
Although I absolutely get your point too, Jérg, no question.
- I think that's dealt with then, hm? -Yes.
That's how it is. Um...
So you're out of here, huh?
-Hold on. -Do you already know what you, uh...
During the broadcast?
Hey, it'll be fine.
You're still young. I don't mean "young" nastily.
But, as you can see, they're going with older guard again.
May I...
It was all screwed up Down was up
We'd forgotten how to hope
All of our heroes Turned up zeros
Only Bernd tried helping us cope
-Hello, UIf. -Hello.
He's the boss The headman
He's got the job In the palm of his hand
He leads the way That's his thing
He is the king!
Yes, sometimes the dice get reshuffled all anew.
Even when the game is almost over.
They invited me in.
Here, to the new Capitol!
I'm to check things out, no obligation.
I said, "Storming the Capitol?"
I'm in!
-Ah, look, the little guy, Lehn... -Hoff.
Yes, so?
-Are you doing everything right there? - I hope.
You can hope when you've got cancer.
You should be sure given those sums.
-I just said that... -Yes, come on. Now...
Well, I could imagine it.
Capitol.
Why not?
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