[dramatic music]
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[dramatic music]
[dramatic music] I'm pleased to welcome
you to our program tonight.
The Tales of Jovia
This anthology is a
series of tales from the
distant reaches of Jovian history.
A rich and
introspective string of stories
that make us question our own humanity.
Our first tale is a story of a hunter
who loses his bounty
in the outer banks of the Gaian Starfield.
The further Liv tracks his bounty,
the more desperate he becomes.
Until finally,
he is fighting for his life.
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music] Take us down to this planet, LUCCA.
Something on this ship is fucked.
You got it.
[dramatic music]
Try anything.
You're dead, Rot-Pron.
Well, aren't you nice
for a Martian Hunter
And again,
it's just Rot.
You know you're wanted dead or alive, right?
Rot?
Aren't we all Martian?
What I mean is that no one says you need
to return to Ramsey alive,
or that you have a
tongue when you arrive.
So watch what you say to me.
[dramatic music]
You know if I'm wanted dead or alive,
why didn't you kill me on Atlas first?
[dramatic music] Because I know what Ramsey
likes to do to his enemies.
And with this being my first job for him,
I thought I'd bring him back something...
squirming.
[dramatic music]
I prefer to think of myself
as pleading not squirming.
Speaking of which, I was in that tin
shit can for the past few hours.
I need to piss.
Fine.
But you better make it quick.
I just need to fix my thermal converter
real quick so we can get
off this disgusting planet.
Not that Ramsey's hideout's any nicer than this, but...
whatever.
Why do you ride in a
CS-08 anyway?
I figured a Martian hunter like yourself
would be riding one of those new sleek
Pastel Corp ships.
They're sleek and spacious.
Enough to hold a bathroom.
I already told you.
I'm not a Martian hunter.
At least not anymore.
Oh, that's right! You failed!
So what are you now?
Just a sad sob story from Deimos?
I'm not a failure, you cyborg bitch!
I chose my fucking freedom opposed to
selling my life to some oligarch.
Yeah, and you decided to
sell my life to a gang lord.
Hey, I'm just trying to make some money.
And I needed food and
medicine for my dying brother.
Well, according to your record, you stole
from the Hermian Baron
and from Ramsey for years.
Then you fled to join those anarchist
bandits in the
asteroids like a traitor!
I fled to save my life!
Whatever you need to tell yourself, bitch.
Now, go piss before I change my mind
about bringing you back alive.
Oh, someone's got a gun.
Yeah, and a knife. And if things truly
get messy, a whole pouch
full of alpha hand grenades,
which I will not hesitate to pour down
your cybernetic throat if I have to.
Now, go fucking piss.
Fine.
Bio-walker
Man, fuck you.
Hey, don't go too far or
you'll regret my nicety.
Nice. would be giving me
control of my hand back.
Ha!
I'm no fool.
Hey, Lucca?
Locate the thermal converter?
Behind the Aux vent, where it usually is.
Are you sure?
This is an older model
than what I trained on.
Just check the damn vent.
Okay, geez.
Oh.
Oh, this is...
It's gross.
Cosmic Tropic Glue.
Ah, yeah, this must be what's causing
this piece of junk to stall.
Hey, Lucca?
Am I being naive about
letting him go out on his own?
I was saying less
naive and more arrogant.
But I predicted a one in four chance that
he would try to escape anyway.
Lucca! You didn't stop me?
I figured you knew the probabilities.
With that being said, he is no longer
showing up on my visual scans.
Oh, shit!
Thanks, Luca, for the heads up.
It's my job to make yours
easier, not do it for you.
Any ideas?
I recommend using the drone.
If you want me to see
what's going on, or...
(laughs) act like an ass.
Your call.
Right.
[dramatic music]
Lucca, where the hell are we?
We're in the northern Zalgarian woods on
Z88-126 in the Z88 cluster.
The biology on this planet originates
from the Earth system.
I've never seen a world like this before.
So strange.
Yet so familiar.
Are we on a research trip?
Because I thought we were supposed to be
looking for your missing bounty.
Right.
You should take a
look at your glass slide.
Your drone is missing.
[dramatic music]
I'm no fool.
No chance in hell is a hunter dropout
going to bring me back to Ramsey.
What was that?
Must have been one of those Gaian critters.
What are they called?
Bears?
Are bears big or small?
You really thought you were going to get
away from me, did you?
Nice to see you again, Martian.
Up to some cheap tricks I see.
Where's your honor, Martian?
Honor?
You sucker punched me
last time I saw you asshole.
Fuck your honor.
[dramatic music]
Unlocked.
Hand power now activated.
Fuck.
[dramatic music]
Liv, you should take five.
If I'm tired, then so is Rot.
You can't just run forever.
I don't have to run forever.
Just have to out run him.
You should cut your losses and leave him behind.
There's no way Rot can leave the planet
without access to the ship.
Which I need to remind you,
I only have the code for it.
And even if you're keeping track of him,
there's 85% chance that he will kill you.
Even then, there's a 68% chance.
Lucca. Stop your preachcing
Honestly.
Right when I start being helpful.
You act like you never asked.
Lucca honestly.
Hush.
[dramatic music]
Did you miss me?
[dramatic music]
My hand!
Surrender now and I'll show you mercy.
I ain't going to Ramsey.
I know where my fate lies there if
I go to that forsaken place.
Well I guess I gotta
bring you back dead then.
You're rich.
Yeah, I will be once
I get paid by Ramsey.
Fuck you.
Fuck you! Martian scum.
Let's handle this like warriors then. Cyborg bitch.
[dramatic music]
You fucking bitch.
[dramatic music]
Why won't you die, you motherfucker?
Why?
Alpha hand grenades, bitch.
[dramatic music]
[Laughter]
Woo!
Woo-hoo!
That's right, bitch.
[Laughter] Whoa!
Mr. butter fingers, huh?
Can't seem to hold on to
your beam cannon, knife.
Oh, and now our alive reward.
It's a miracle you
still keep track of me.
Well, I initially wanted to
bring back a breathing body,
but I guess a sample will have to do.
Fucking bitch.
Hey, Lucca.
Send that to Ramsey.
I'll also bring back an additional
foot as evidence of the kill.
The rest of this Hermian bastard can lay here.
To rot.
[dramatic music]
Ouch.
Well, we've seen how gruesome humanity
can become when faced against itself.
Better to introduce the
horrors of our kind first.
But there are other ways humanity perseveres.
Through sheer will and peace of mind.
In our next tale, Ordinary John is
stranded on an unpopulated world
with none other than
his robot companion, Orb.
[dramatic music]
Orb! Orb!
What happened?
What's going on?
I think.
I think we were hit by some
debris in the prog speed lane.
Oh my god, Orb. You're alive.
Yes, I am still active, but
it seems my body no longer is.
Yeah, I can tell.
We need to get you fixed as soon as possible.
Do not worry about me right
now. You have bigger concerns.
My only concern is
making sure you're okay.
I will be fine, John. You
need to check your own vitals.
I feel fine. My vitals
say everything is good.
Definitely have a couple
bruises though. Hurts like hell.
Nothing worse than I've been through.
Are you talking about Jovia or Hub A.B.?
No, Europa. Nothing messed
me up more than that crash.
But look at the upside. Now you're here.
Yeah, wow. Over 100,000 years in the
future. Just a crash on another planet.
Clearly the fates are at work.
Clearly. But hey, you
got to meet Lucy and me.
Yeah, well, she's gone. And you look to
be headed the same way soon.
But can we focus on
something other than her?
- Are you being serious? - What?
You constantly bring her up.
Yeah, I think that's the side effect of
the whole love thing.
Anyway, looks like the air has enough
oxygen for me to breathe.
I guess I don't need this.
Much better. I hate those damn things.
You and those spacesuits. Honestly, I
don't understand why you don't like them.
They're just too tight.
Well, I'm glad you're okay.
Yeah, well, you're not.
You're gonna find a town or something to
get you parts before your power runs out.
Which reminds me, do
you know where we are?
My last pinpointed location says we went
near Ganymede 003 before the crash.
My guess is we're on that planet now.
Do you know the conditions of the planet?
Weather, climate, geological makeup.
Enemies?
No. I'm unable to connect with the Jovian
satellite network at the moment.
And I tend to not back up data for
planets we'd never go
to onto my hard drive
Okay then.
What are you doing?
I'm looking to see what's in here. God
willing, something made it.
Please be careful when doing so. Don't
accidentally get hurt.
The emergency comms are burnt to a crisp.
And the main comm system's totally fried.
Probably from our re-entry.
What did survive?
A few components. Some frayed wires.
Some electrical tape, yay!
And a pouch of Jovian jelly!
Can you use any of those to fix me so I
can reach emergency services?
These parts won't help
you in that condition.
Besides, you don't even like Jovian jelly.
Fortunately...
I do.
I am being serious.
Also, looks like we
might be here a little while.
Not exactly.
Do you know a way out of this?
Yes. Use a satellite
communication device.
I already told you, Orb.
Those parts won't fix you.
I mean, I guess I could see if someone
lives nearby and has one, but...
I don't want to waste energy if food and
water aren't readily available.
Besides, I wouldn't know where to go.
No, I mean you can make a new one.
What? Just make a new comm device.
And how exactly would
you like me to do that?
By dismantling me.
What the hell? No. Absolutely not.
I'm not going to kill you so that I can
survive. That's out of the question.
I cannot die, John.
Oh, because you always live on in my heart?
No, because I'm a robot.
Not this again.
I wouldn't bring it up if you'd stop
insisting that I'm alive.
You are alive.
According to Guttruch's introduction to
biology in a diverse
galaxy, primarily read and fully
understood by
freshman at the Jovian Academy,
"A creature is
determined to be alive when..."
Orb. I've read
Guttruch's work, cover to cover,
and know all about his postulation on
what he thinks is alive.
But you refuse to accept it. Why?
Because I disagree with it.
How can you disagree with it?
Because it doesn't take into
consideration a multitude of factors.
Most importantly, it only considers
non-artificial intelligence as life.
But I have met plenty of robots that I
would definitely consider to be alive.
For one, you.
But how can you be
sure any of us are alive?
Have you heard of the Turing test?
No, enlighten me.
Well, it was a test to see if a computer
could behave in a way similar to humans.
Like to see if a robot could trick a
human into thinking it's another human.
And yeah, Orb, I know you're a robot.
But if you were presented to me as human
with like skin and whatever,
I would just assume
you're another human being.
For a scientist that seems less like data
and more like an anecdote.
Have yet to convince me of
anything other than you'd be easily
fooled by modern technology.
What else do you have
to prove that I'm alive?
You know what? Honestly,
Orb, please stop all of this.
I'm not going to have a conversation
where you try to convince me to kill you
for the sake of myself.
Do you not possess an
innate will to live?
I do, but I also possess an understanding
of my role in the world,
and of my ability to be reassembled.
But it's not that simple.
I mean, what you're asking me to do at
the bare minimum would
destroy your memory core.
And therefore, the version
of you that currently exists,
it would be gone forever.
You would die.
I am not alive.
Shut the fuck up, Orb.
I'm not going to discuss this shit anymore.
I can find another way out of this.
Understood.
Oh my God.
What happened?
I cut my arm.
Shit, shit. I cut it badly. Really badly.
How deep does it go?
It's deep enough to get an artery.
John I am not asking you
anymore, I am telling you disassemble me.
I will not.
I can find a way out of this.
Please get me out of this.
It won't stop.
It never will.
You need medical attention
immediately or you will die.
You've already lost what
looks like 15% of your blood,
and without a turnicate you have five
more minutes until you lose too much
blood to sustain consciousness.
And based on my calculations, it will
take me three to four minutes to build a
communication device,
especially without me,
in your current state.
You need to start now. Disassemble me.
I will not.
Why not? You will die.
But if I lose you, I've
got no reason left to live.
Yes, you do.
You have the work you're
doing as an agent of Gaia.
You're helping to ensure
continued peace in our galaxy.
You have so much to live
for. People rely on you.
What does any of that matter without you?
I lost everyone I ever
loved when I came here.
And then to become a citizen, I lost the
first and only love of my life.
And now you want me to
kill you, my last friend.
And don't tell me you're not alive.
I can't take that anymore.
Maybe it is just me projecting onto
inanimate objects, but it doesn't matter.
I refuse to kill someone I care about.
So I quit.
[dramatic music]
John, you can't quit.
I can't quit. I can't quit.
Why not, Orb?
Because while I will never understand
your assertion that I am alive,
I do care about you and I do
not want to see you die here.
I won't die. I'll always be in your heart,
brain, or your memory core.
I'll be wherever.
I need you to get up. You need to
dismantle me and use my...
Orb, buddy.
It's already past the time for me to be
able to build a communication device.
It's over. We're done.
Calm down.
Just enjoy these moments we have left.
Orb, one more thing.
I know we didn't always get along, but I
really did love your company.
I never thought I would be here and I
never thought I'd have a
best friend like you, but...
For the first time in a long time.
I'm glad I'm here.
I'm glad you're here too.
John, it's going to be okay
I never thought I'd
hear your voice again.
John.
Stay with me, John.
John, stay with me. Stay with me.
I'm trying, Orb
This is the Jovian rescue services.
Please remain calm and our officers will
be down shortly to assist you.
Look.
Just in time.
I guess we both get to live another day.
Ah, the human perception.
What is and isn't alive?
Well, it surely depends, doesn't it?
Humanity is filled with conundrums,
vastly beyond our explanation.
We are so full and
accepting of such... attributes.
Alas, we are also so
riddled with love and tragedy.
Our next tale, Neon Comet, brings love
and tragedy into our focus.
Lex, all you need to do is get the
comet data from the
observer stationed here,
and get rid of anyone who sees you do it.
It's as simple of a mission as they come.
Get in and get out
and don't fail the REM.
Got it.
You couldn't even get dressed to meet with
this data collector today.
What's the point?
You know the Jovians back at the Academy
are barely going to give me
credit in the author's note.
Why should I get dressed for them?
You could... publish
it yourself, you know.
No one will take me seriously.
Not unless it is corroborated by someone
other than those bastards at REM.
They'll probably move me
to another planet, alone.
[cough]
GEAUS, I didn't mean you.
Either way, you should get ready.
She is coming up the
steps of the observatory now.
She? I thought they were sending Mogeo.
Well, from what I can see through
security footage, it looks like they sent
someone else this time.
Fuck.
Lex?
Shit, Bon. I never
thought I'd see you again.
Lex, what are you doing here?
I could ask the same about you.
You knew I was
stationed at an observatory?
Yeah, but last time I
heard you were on Galileo 12.
You know that they move
people like me around a lot.
Wait, so you work for the Jovian Academy
now, since when did that happen?
Kind of. I'm somewhat of a contractor.
After leaving that desk
job in Martia, I just...
You were always too
good for that kind of work.
Um, yeah, well, after that, I joined up
with J.A. as a data analyst contractor,
and apparently, analyst means coming to
pick up a stack of hard drives from you.
Yeah, well, the drones are loading them
into your transport as we speak.
Great. Well, then I guess I'll just be
heading back there to
catch my ride home, so...
Well, that might take some time, and I
don't usually ask data
transporters to do this,
but would you like to
stick around and catch up?
I really should be getting back. I don't
want to intrude or anything.
Come on, Lex. When is the next time we're
gonna see each other?
Fine.
Your stubbornness definitely
played a role in our break-up.
Not as much as your persistence did.
Come on. Have a place we can chat.
No!
No! Jed?
I stopped dating him, like, years ago.
God, I haven't seen him since.
Well, I've seen you
more recently than him.
Shit.
I guess things have really changed since
we've last seen each other.
Yeah.
And anyways, you hate Jed. Why the fuck
are you asking about him?
Well, I was more so trying to
get a read on your love life.
I'm single Bon, and I could assume the
same of you, given how your dressed today.
Why is everyone being so
mean about my clothes today?
Never mind. So Martia didn't work out?
No, it's not that. It's just...
I found something that I like doing more.
Well, I hope you found what you wanted.
You're always the smartest in our class.
Well, it's been
tougher than you would think.
But I've managed.
You were the one who was always into their work.
You were always an astronomer at heart.
That's true.
It's been a lonelier
journey than I imagined,
but I've collected some interesting
research about the Neon Comet
traversing the stars in recent years.
The Neon Comet?
That burned out, like,
thousands of years ago.
That's true, but I've seen it.
I've seen it, documented its location. It
seems to travel through
fifth-dimensional rifts.
Well, whatever. You'll read all about it in my notes.
You know, you're just as beautiful as the
last time I saw you on Hub-B.
Mm. You know, these years of space travel
and research are
starting to show on my skin.
I can't see a single thing wrong with you.
I never have
[dramatic music]
Lex, stay.
Just stay with me for tonight, for dinner
Please, then leave tomorrow.
I... can't.
You know the schedule of things.
I should really be
getting home soon.
Really now.
It won't make a difference with the moon.
Not this time of week.
It'll take you two days
to get out of the system.
All right. I'll stay for dinner.
I just need to leave some of
my things at the observatory
and check in with my
transport at the very least.
All right. That'll give me some time to
whip something together.
I've been saving some pineapple rations.
Right.
I can't wait, Bon.
[dramatic music]
You don't know. I've known her well.
Most of my life, we grew
up on the same station.
I know enough to know your ex
isn't going to sleep with you
on your second first date, especially not
in whatever outfit that is.
Hey, what do you think I was wearing when
I initially wooed her?
Pants probably. You
likely took a shower too.
Also, you ever heard of deo and wiping
that little bit of white gunk
from the edge of your mouth?
Fair, but nonetheless, I'm
not trying to sleep with her.
I just want to rekindle what bit of a
relationship we have.
Oh, dude, you are so
desperate. That's seriously not cool.
You're totally going to blow it.
I am not.
So, not only are you desperate, but
you're also going to invade her privacy?
GEAUS, I just have to see. I have to know
if this is all too good to be true.
You'll regret it. Even if you don't find
anything, you'll really find out how
desperate you are. Trust me.
I just have to see.
Lex, all you need to do is get to the
comet data from the
observer stationed here
and get rid of anyone who sees you do it.
It's as simple of a mission as they come.
Get in and get out
and don't fail the REM.
I told you.
Hey, Bon. Oh, my God,
it's getting settled.
You ready to eat?
[dramatic music]
How's your transport?
It's a transport.
That's good.
So, are you ready to eat?
Yeah, I just have to get some of my notes
together to give the take back to the
Gaian Institute before we do so.
Thank you. Great. I know the academics at
the Gaian Institute. Will be
thrilled to have all of this.
Wait, that's right. You're with the
Jovian Academy, right?
Not the Gaian Institute?
Oh, um, yeah. I misspoke. I'm sorry.
What's going on?
Don't play dumb, Lex. The
fucking REM? Are you kidding me?
It's not what you think.
They're a fucking cult. A
radical, violent, evil cult.
No, you're wrong. We're just trying to
find out more about the Rimiens.
And that neon comet that has some
connection to their fifth dimensional
meddling prior to
humanity is our best bet at finding out where they all went.
Meddling? You're really suckered into their
bullshit, aren't you?
Wait, Bon.
Step back! Step the fuck back!
They said some shit about
killing me in your message.
They?
You opened up my glass slide? That's an
invasion of my privacy!
Oh, fuck you! You're gonna kill me! Are
you fucking insane, Lex? An
invasion of privacy? Come on!
I was never gonna shoot.
Not you. Never you, Bon.
Sure.
Hold on, Bon.
Don't do this!
Bon, I'm begging you, please! Stop!
[EERIE MUSIC]
I told you to stop!
[COUGHING]
I'm so sorry.
Bon, I wasn't gonna shoot, I swear! Why
did you have to do that? Why, Bon, why?
[EERIE MUSIC]
Circumstances that humanity finds itself
in truly have evidence
of struggle and setback.
In humanity's reach for the stars and
colonization of new worlds, we have been
met with incomprehensible barriers,
fears, and monsters.
Our next tale of the faceless records show us
firsthand of such frights.
[EERIE MUSIC]
All right. Are you recording?
Yeah, but I'm not really sure what you
want to record our hike,
but I got recordings on.
I wanna find Vince, man.
Or his body.
Bro.
Or shut up.
Sorry, I forgot that we were roommates
back at the academy.
I mean, we were like
childhood friends, man.
I don't really want to think about his
body laid out here on this
fucking shit hole planet.
- Technically, it's an exoplanet. - Okay.
Shut the fuck up, please.
So do you want me just to record us
fucking walk in past this canal, or do
you want to make a statement to this?
I mean, you're just documenting this for
a mission log, but...
I mean, yeah. I'll give an update.
We're Scout Regiment 16.
We are looking for Vince
Feltrio of the Tellux Federation.
We landed on RE 103. This is the last
area his ship was pinged.
Because right now we're just hiking
through the woods following this flood
path or this creek right now.
But, yeah, I mean, I guess that's it.
Alright.
Okay. Alright. You
want to make an update?
Uh, yeah.
We are Scout Regiment 16. We are out here
on RE 103 in search of
any sign of pilot Vince Feltrio.
Um, We're about five
hours to do our journey so far.
A lot of vegetation, but no
real sign of any sentient life.
There's a lot of fucking bugs.
Yeah.
No sign of Vince whatsoever. Just a lot
of bugs and fucking vegetation.
I thought we're gonna find
an alien or something.
What were you expecting to find?
I don't know, like, alien? Something
cool? I don't know. What
were you expecting to find?
I mean, I was hoping to find my friend,
but... I mean, I guess at this point it's
just gonna be a body.
Jesus fucking Christ, dude. Alright. Uh, are you gonna say
something to end this off?
Uh...
Yeah, we should be arriving at a flag point tomorrow.
Um, I guess we'll just keep following
this trail and the creek.
Probably set up camp here for the night.
But, uh... I guess that's it.
Okay.
Ah, shit.
Alright, what's the plan of action?
What do you mean?
We're not gonna be able to walk this
whole fucking planet.
Like, it would take us years to walk this
continent alone, so...
I assume we're gonna need to develop a
new plan of action here?
We already did a flyover, man. What else
are we supposed to do?
Uh... shit. Um... I mean, we can tell
Tyloc that he's MIA.
Actually, we can't tell Tyloc.
He made it pretty fucking clear not to
come back without any sign of evidence or the
ship or something, man, so...
Okay, um, well, he can fuck himself.
Are you still recording?
Of course. Why?
Is he gonna see that?
Oh, I'll probably fucking delete this,
but either way, he can fuck himself.
So can the rest of the leadership on that
ship, and so can the leadership of the
entire Tellux Federation.
Alright, man. Whatever.
Again, though, we're probably gonna need
a new plan of action, so...
What do we do?
I mean, at this point, we're what, ten
hours deep into this?
We're not gonna get to
his cap point till tomorrow.
I mean, at this point I think we just pack it up for the night,
It will be dark soon, and...
And I am fucking hungry.
Kinda just wanna eat, so...
Alright, man.
So do you think Vince is dead?
How do you want me to answer that, dude?
Do you want me to be honest, or...
Or do you want me to make you feel better.
Well fuck. I guess that
kinda gives me my answer.
Yeah.
What do you think happened to him?
Best bet's starvation.
I haven't seen like...
I haven't seen any really animals. I
mean, he ain't fucking eating bugs.
I haven't seen enough animals for him to
live off of in, you know, six months and whatever.
I mean, if it was a crash, I figure we'd
see something in the fly over.
You know? Maybe not, though.
I mean, it's been like six
months since he's been gone.
We have no idea how the vegetation works.
We could've just overgrown on it.
Alright, fair point.
So, any ideas on how we're
gonna fucking find his body?
Jesus, man, that kinda
sounds a little morbid.
I don't know, I'm gonna maybe just wake
up, hike another 15, 20 miles, and...
If we don't find anything,
set up camp, and do it again.
So, your idea is to keep hiking?
I mean...
Is that your best bet?
I mean, look, I'm not
gonna fucking starve here.
Okay, like, we're looking for a corpse,
I'm not gonna become one as well.
I mean, alright, I
guess we can just fucking...
hike a little bit tomorrow to the cap
point, but I mean, can we circle back and
make the rest of the walk?
Fine, but I'm moving it to 15 miles.
Alright, that's fine.
So, tomorrow we'll get up,
walk the loop, and that's it?
Yeah, that's fine.
Alright, well...
Just, I'm gonna go to bed. Turn off this
whenever you're ready.
Alright.
Hey, hey, wake up, wake up, wake up.
That...
Vince?
Yo, Vince!
Okay. Here we go.
You're here, man, are you okay?
Did he just...?
Jesus Christ.
Hey!
What the fuck, dude?
I don't know what the fuck that is!
What happened? Where is he?
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not fucking Vince, man.
That's not fucking Vince.
[Grent] What are you... [Dash] I don't know what the fuck that thing is, dude.
What the fuck, what the fuck.
What happened?
We just saw him.
No, no, no, not on
all fucking fours, dude.
He was on all fours!
Like a fucking animal!
I don't know what the fuck that is,
that's not even fucking human!
No, what the fuck,
dude, what the fuck, man?
Um... What the fuck are we...
Hold on, hold on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.
Let's fucking go. I told you let's just
fucking go. Let's just leave
Where's all our shit
I don't fucking no dude it was all right here
Something was definitely fucking here, dude.
Go go go go now
Go go go go go
Okay final update about like I don't know
ten minutes away from
our ship give or take
Just want to note some
things about the planet
Clearly a lot of vegetation, but outside
of that one fucking apex
predator no sentient life here
Geological structures are you
know what's that? It's his ID?
Oh shit go go go go
Yeah, yeah, these are not fucking human dude
Over here!
Yo Vince!
That's not him dude obviously. Jesus Christ.
Dash!
Shit, Dash! Where are... fuck!
Oh shit
As you can see we've had trouble in our
many years of space colonization
In our next tale Recontact on Blume
Captain Dez is a fantastic example of
humanity as the hero
in our years of travel.
An exploration of new worlds in our past...
Hi, dad
I'm getting ready to launch soon
I've been
I've been meaning to talk to you ever
since your mother passed
Been wrapping things up
I
Mean just getting out of here
Getting a clear mind
Sputnik stations
No
There's no place for someone
old like me
That you're not that old am I
Maybe too old for this
Mm-hmm and where do you intend to go?
Dalle-6 it's ready for people like me
retirees
You're not a retiree not yet
I
Already met my match with age ever since
I was taken off the ice walks
[Dez] Dad, you're not. [Father] Dez...
I'm arranged to go to
Dalle-6 later this week
You can't
Come with me
Yeah, you don't want to waste your youth
on this this floating toaster like I did
I
I am an astronaut like you and mom you lived
your best years
together on the colony frontier.
Those days are over.
The federation it it isn't what it used to
be. Now is no time to be a young astronaut.
I thought you were proud of me.
I am I am so proud of you Dez
But now is it the time it's not the time
and place to be just
wandering through the galaxy.
The further we go
The more we understand the interstellar
wilderness is just the dark and
unforgiving place.
My whole life has led to being an
astronaut for the Federation.
Listen
Dez listen don't go.
Don't go.
We haven't heard from the colonists on
Blume in over 10 years.
You won't find anyone left I promise.
We shouldn't have sent people
to Blume in the first place.
You're overworrying. Their communications could be
damaged what if they need our help
Dad what are you running from?
I'm not running. I'm settling down
I'm getting
I've gotten. I'm tired
Dad, you're never tired
What's wrong
Dr. Mehmer
He said that my Sephelmotis has spread
It's to my heart
[Father] I'm at stage 7. [Dez] Dad. Daddy. No.
I have a couple of months
Well, I have another year at best I
don't want to live my final days on
Space station... I
Don't want to live my
last days without my daughter.
Think that's far enough for now
[Dez] He finally speaks. [Maroon] Hey you keep your voice
down you don't want those
[Maroon] things to hear us. [Dez] Those creatures
Yeah, they're the kokugami they're a
species native the Blume they've got
thick skin your rounds won't do any good
[Maroon] on them unless you aim for the neck. [Dez] What about the neck?
That's where they have their vital
organs their their heart.
Who are you?
I'm maroon or
Martin Satsuma, I
Came here many many
years ago with with a colony
with my mother
And for obvious reasons now I'm maroon.
Anyone else from the colony survive?
No.
No, I was I was a little boy. I was small
enough to escape into the
trees, but everyone else
my mother they um...
I'm sorry. My name is
captain Antenna, Dezorah
Dez. I'm from the Federation
My solo rocket landed just a few kilometers
I'm from here. There is a
crew several hours behind me
Come with me my ship
We must get off this planet.
[Maroon] Where is your ship? [Dez] That way.
[Maroon] No, no way we we can't. [Dez] Why?
Hey, that's that's where their nest is...
If we get anywhere near them, they'll
smell us and they will hunt us.
We don't have much time if we wait here,
we'll be waiting here for several hours.
All right, all right if we get to your
ship how long will it take
[Maroon] to start it up? [Dez] Once inside?
[Dez] 10 seconds. [Maroon] And what about your laser
[Maroon] runner? [Dez] It'll recharge in a few hours
Okay, well the next time you shoot at
them aim for their neck.
I assure you I will.
All right, but we have to stay quiet we
have to move fast we
have to stay off the trail.
How can you tell me this now when I have
just a few hours before I launch
Don't go
they'll keep sending you
further and further away.
Before you know it you'll be lost.
Dad this is a little unrealistic. I mean
I need time to think.
Life is unrealistic.
We don't have much time.
At least I don't.
Ah
It's okay. It's okay. Just stay
[Dez] with me. [Tellux Federation Pilot] This is tf832d
reporting. Do you copy?
Loud and clear tf. This is captain
Antenna. This is an emergency
SOS!
Roger.
I love you dad. I'll call you soon.
Saved in the end
Once again humanity perseveres itself
with unity, of course.
Humanity can often do quite the opposite
rebelling against the leaders
when showed the teeth of tyranny. In our
next tale the chief the
warrior and the renegade
the stars of rebellion
in Martia are confronted
by a defected band of rebels claiming the
group to have grown
into tyrants themselves.
No one else would have
access to that information, Zhang.
I don't want to hear it Nova. Rash
conclusions based on nothing but blind
assumptions. None of it.
You and I both know
that this is Tshak's work.
No one of the stars would have able to have
access to this information.
Our space station coordinates were so far
off gravitational course that only someone
[Nova] working from inside could have... [Zhang] It could have been
anyone on the council!
Do you really think that they will put
the citizens of Koth in danger?
I refuse to believe that my student
your friend would commit such
monstrous atrocities. Only someone bereft
of all their moral judgment
would commit such a vile act.
There are over four thousand
five hundred fifty six dead
frozen bodies of our
men women and children
[Nova] That's all that matters. [Zhang] Nova
There is truth in your words
All signs put to Tshak. An evil I
nurtured to bear fangs against my own.
You know
from my perspective
this isn't your fault.
I cannot control
Tshak's destiny nor yours.
So, I'll be leaving his life in your hands.
Yes.
His life
and this fucking mess
of a scattered rebellion.
If I'm not mistaken
You practically begged for this role.
Why all the resentment now
in this time of mystery?
Do you not wish to become a leader?
If you do these are the
type of challenges we face.
Well, it doesn't help that we're stuck
between a rock and a hard place.
A conundrum faced by all great leaders.
You must try to make the right decision
no matter how honorous
or punishing.
Now where does this leave us Nova?
Well our best bet at winning this war is
to focus all of our
strength here on Koth 37.
The scouts we have out
on two different paths
with a few hours difference.
But once I hear word
we will mobilize everything we have for
a full-on offensive
to take down the
governor's villa and destroy
Factory 06.
Full offensive?
At this stage of the war?
With what little men we have?
The stars of the rebellion are much
stronger than what you give them credit.
You taught them this way.
Nevertheless.
Presently we do not have enough men and
fighters for such a titanic onslaught.
Do you not wish to seek
wisdom from the council?
Let's see what they
think of thi... scouts hey!
Scout commander really sounds like a
lot of responsibility.
Yes, it is.
But it is the only way I
become scout general someday.
And get it out from
under the pastel cooperation.
I just want to make a bigger change.
I heard it's between me
and Kul for the position.
Even with his tenor, I
still think I have a shot.
You're a lot better than me.
Yeah, I just want to live a nice little
life with Fig when all this is over.
That sounds so nice, Sal.
Oh
You are so lucky.
And the way he proposed.
With the wreath of cherry red flowers.
It must have took him hours collecting
those in Kal-Ramin's gardens. All those
double shifts. It's no
wonder he had the time.
I know.
Uh, I've just been so worried of all the
night shifts and Prowlers in the canyons.
I'm I'm sure he's gonna be fine.
Looks like we're needed.
Yes, sir.
We're planning out the next 21 days
to build out a full out
offensive to take back Koth 37
I need your frank and
honest opinions about this. Go.
I I think your choice is the
best course of action, sir.
And you Jos?
We lost people
good people
in surprise attacks on
k-hub 43
Koth 23 and hub 6. All
within the past 24 hours.
Maybe 10 million star members who we lost
and 10,000 who can fight.
They're all hiding and undercover.
That sort of thing.
I can mobilize about
2,000 to Koth 37 right now.
Okay, so maybe less than I thought
Permission to speak freely, sir?
Of course.
This is the dumbest fucking idea I've
ever heard in a while we do
not have the manpower and won't.
It will be suicide.
And now you have it.
All right, so no immediate attack right
now so then what do we do?
Help.
It's Fig. He's been shot.
- He needs medical attention now. - No.
[Nova] What happened? [Kul] I didn't see what
happened. He's in bad
shape. He's in the basin
[Jos] He's attacked in the basin? [Kul] He's got a
few blaster shots. We
need to leave it now.
Nova, you're calling the shots here today.
You heard the man gear
up. We need to go save Figgins.
Fig
[Sal] What happened? [Kul] I don't know.
I didn't see what happened.
Pastel?
No
This is not the work of the pkd.
Look
He's more than shot.
Whoever did this broke Fig's jaw,
so he couldn't speak.
Fig saw who did this.
I bet it was Tshak.
[Kul] You think Tshak did this? [Zhang] Maybe not but
this is not the work
of Pastel Corp either.
What do we do now?
You monster how
could you? He could have lived!
Compose yourself, Sal.
I know you loved him.
We all did.
But he was going to die no matter what.
He's already lost too much blood.
But this was an act of love.
The last thing I could give...
a noble fallen soldier...
one of my sons... our brothers...
And best friend.
Attention.
We are running out of time we need to
find who did this. They must still be close.
Kul I need you to take fig's body back
to camp rally around your troops and let
them know what's going on.
Jos.
Take Sal back to camp
And then help Kul organize
our efforts while I'm gone.
Yes, sir.
What will you do?
We'll take care of Tshak.
So you came around?
I don't know if it was Tshak or not.
But after fighting
these bastards for 20 years
I know it's not the work of
[Zhang] Pastel corporation. [Nova] Exactly!
All signs point to Tshak. Come on
Zhang. Stop letting your emotions get the
[Nova] best of you. [Zhang] Maybe yours
are getting the best of you.
What do you mean?
You're so upset with someone that you
assume that everything is their fault.
He fucking left us the
moment he didn't get his way.
So, you know what? I don't
care whatever the hell you say.
He's the only person with the knowledge
and the motive to give us up.
Or to give our information to the Pastel
[Nova] Corporation. [Zhang] I don't
deny what you're saying Nova
There's simply not enough proof. It could
[Zhang] have been anyone. [Tshak] You really
think I would waste my time
killing some low level scout?
You really don't know me at all even
after all these years.
Finally!
You show your face. I knew you were
Behind this, I could smell your scheme from
[Nova] the other side of the planet. [Zhang] Not so fast, Nova.
Tshak...
[Zhang] What are you doing here? [Tshak] Isn't it obvious?
I'm here for you and nova boy.
It's bitter to hear those
words come from your mouth.
You're a coward and a traitor!
Wrong I am a renegade poised to free this
system from under your thumb.
A decade I've trained you both. You and
Nova have been my apprentices... my sons.
I made you into what you are today a
skilled and wise military leader.
Tasked for freeing those who need you most.
[Zhang] I gave you the Stars. [Tshak] And then you
you took it all away from me.
You went against your
word and your ideals.
You went against the very democratic
foundation of our organization.
Without even an election
you made him our leader.
You didn't seek the advice
of the council, the people.
No one but you Gao made that decision.
And in that moment...
You took everything
[Tshak] from me. [Zhang] It's all temporary.
A part of the plan for the rebellion.
Trust me.
Nova is the right leader to
take my place while I'm gone.
Nova takes risks over safety with little
[Tshak] to no gain. [Nova] Oh, fuck you Tshak!
Let me guess.
Master Gao and Mr. Nova boy wanted to
take on the entire
pastel corporation today.
He wants to call in all of the rebels and
wage all out warfare.
I'll even go as far as to wager that Nova
wanted to conduct this
hypothetical attack this month.
What?
We decided against the operation.
Oh...
I knew you two idiots would
run in head first without thought.
Just like you did on Jovia.
Enough of your fucking excuses!
You don't care about
ideals you care about power.
You know and you're just upset
that I was given the
role of commander you weren't.
You're a pathetic little
cunt and you deserve to die.
Fine.
I guess I'll have to
kill you first old friend.
Is that all you've got you were stronger
just a few weeks ago in routine training.
Fight me like the jovian you are or have
you forgotten our heritage
in your time away from Jovia City?
I haven't forgot shit!
No jovian would turn his back on his
people. You are a
disgrace to our entire society.
You should be ashamed.
Ashamed? I wasn't the one who turned their
back on their ideals.
Tell me when did you betray yourselves?
You both claim to be radicals against
the corporate establishment. You claim to
uphold the ideals you spout.
You claim you're different from the
pastel corporation because you're democratically elected,
but it's a fucking lie.
You two only want power and
you want to control people.
You don't care about democracy and you
sure as hell don't care about Koth.
You're creating a new autocracy more evil
and corrupt than the one you've vowed to destroy.
Tell me when I'm wrong.
Why won't you stay down?
Can't you see you've lost? You failed
yourself, you failed your master,
and you failed the citizens of Koth.
Yes.
I failed.
[Tshak] What? [Nova] I said yes,
I failed.
I failed my ideals and
therefore the people of Koth.
But at least I can rectify this I can
deny the position of commander.
We can...
We will run elections.
But you, Tshak...
You turned your back on the stars
You betrayed your people. You gave
information to the pastel corporation...
murdered thousands of Kothians...
And you killed one of
our scouts today, Fig.
This is a battlefield
and you are the enemy.
[Nova] And I don't take prisoners. [Tshak] Neither do I, but
again I didn't kill
[Tshak] your scout. [Nova] Then who did?
[Jos] We need to find a place to bury him. [Sal] He
told me that if he ever died I'd want to
be buried at his family's place.
But we should probably bury him here.
I don't think it'll be a good idea to
take him back right now. We haven't even
finished our scouting.
We can possibly expose our location and
everyone to the corporation attacks.
[Sal] That's that's what he wanted. [Kul] Doesn't
matter what he wanted, Sal.
Look I'm sorry jos is
right. We have to bury him here.
I know he wanted to come back home.
This is war.
When this is all over, I will come back for him, I promise.
Thank you both.
I thank you for finding him. Means
more to me than anything else.
I just I thank the golden gods you were
[Sal] paired with Fig today. [Jos] Wait.
Weren't we sent on independent
[Jos] routes this morning? [Kul] We were.
I heard gunshots. So I
went back to see what happened.
Weren't you stationed east 17 miles away?
Your lying.
Kul would never
betray the Stars of Rebellion.
Betrayal?
Do you think I was the only one who was
upset about your undemocratic practices?
There were many who were climbing the
ranks waiting for new positions.
Many who will see what is happening in
this organization. They will see it
If anything you betray them
and yourself. Enough prattling
[Tshak] I'll have to kill you now. [Nova] You're going
to have to try a lot harder than that.
You little pussy cat.
And even if you do manage to kill me.
You can never take over
the Stars of Rebellion.
They would never follow you.
Not after what you did.
After you practically murdered thousands
by giving away tactical information.
Why not?
I'm the one that killed the tyrants that
drove their revolution
off the rails. I'm the hero.
You betrayed us.
They will never follow you. You don't
believe in ideals you believe in power.
From your actions...
you have shed the blood of thousands
[Nova] across the system. [Tshak] And I will shed the
blood of a thousand more
if that's what it takes!
Why?
You were always a fucking pest, Jos.
They were our brothers in arms.
[Jos] Why would you do this? [Kul] They were my
brothers. I'm following new orders now
[Jos] Whose orders? [Kul] Who do you think?
Commander Tshak.
He is no commander. And why would you
[Jos] take orders from that traitor? [Kul] Traitor?
You've been brainwashed Jos for a long
time now. Think about it.
Why is Zhang Gao always preaching his
democracy against the evil practices of
the pastel corporation,
But he runs the stars like a dictator?
But... He saved me from the factories. He
liberated us. He is the only hope we have.
Gao? For god's sake Jos. He named Nova
commander without so much as an election.
They failed to live up to their own
ideology. They're
establishing a line of dictators
Exactly what we're fighting against.
Can't you see that they're gonna make the
same system, the same
oligarchy, just with new faces?
Shut up!
What's that? I can't hear you.
You bastard! You betrayed your own people
Unlike you
I fight for the people of Koth.
I know...
I believe...
That Zhang Gao will be
that person to save us.
And if Nova...
Nova is chosen,
so be it.
Why?
Before you cast judgment on your comrade
you must be certain
death is the only option.
What about the star's tribunal?
Despite his methods
I disapprove of them, but
he's right I've been hypocrite.
Contradicting my ideals like
I'm painting the rule of nature.
These are these claims deserve to be
heard by the council.
Oh.
They will be.
I agree with Tshak.
You're wrong.
I'm wrong. We
are wrong.
You
know I've realized something.
I don't want to be the
Commander of the people of Koth.
I've lived here, but it is not my home.
A Martian should run this fight.
Why are two Jovians fighting over a
position they weren't even elected for?
Just doesn't make any sense.
[Zhang] What are you saying Nova? [Nova] I'm saying
I will not be taking the position of
commander. I reject it. If I don't then
We're no better than the Pastel
Corporation and the
entire Martian government.
That's... that's right, that's right! Don't you
see you're wrong Nova.
Everything I've done was to
protect the people of Koth.
But then that brings
us to your choices, Tshak.
Who are you to criticize me?
Was a temporary appointment really
justification for murdering thousands
[Nova] upon thousands of Kothians? [Zhang] Is that true?
[Tshak] They promised a peace agreement. [Nova] Never
trust a promise from a corporate slug. The
people of khub 23 are all dead and more are
dying from drone bombings
as we speak.
And it's all thanks to you.
But you know I've realized something.
You're right Zhang, the people, the Stars
they deserve a tribunal
for their crimes. But this man...
This man is not one of ours.
He is the enemy.
And this is a battle field. And
I do not take prisoners.
That's the last of it.
Nova, jos, please make a detailed report
[Zhang] of the events here to council. [Nova] Of course, Zhang.
So...
Jovia Academy?
Jovia city?
That's where you're headed?
Why leave the mission here?
This is all a part of the mission.
We must bring awareness
of our cause here on Koth.
There are so many other systems across
the stars that suffer
from oppressive leadership.
Jovians fought against their oppressors
long ago and vowed to help others in need.
They will hear our cause.
I've been there.
Jovians will be
sympathetic to our organization.
They've already sent aid to the Black Gun,
Cera 7, and others.
Now I hope they do the same.
Stop yapping on old man.
Should be halfway to
Rancort station by now.
[Nova] Get going or you'll never make it. [Zhang] Before
I go. I must give you something, Nova.
My sword.
Sel-Sik.
Was crafted out of
pure and refined Malrhye.
You earned this blade.
May it only be used to further
the fight against oppression.
[Nova] Zhang I-[Zhang] I must go.
Goodbye my friends may you carry on the
revolution to the stars.
So
What do we do now, Commander?
I have no idea.
And I'm not your commander.
The council will decide that.
But with the courage you've shown today,
the position sounds perfect for you.
Are you a chief a warrior or a renegade?
Or some combination of the three?
There is a time where we all must test
our morality and
character in the face of judgment.
Other times we find it easier to solve
our problems with physical force.
In our next tale, DI.
A young fighter has something to prove
with his fists.
So All right, all right everybody hush. I
said shut the fuck up!
Now.
A fight is over
When a fighter gets knocked out
or his crew surrenders.
If none of those happen...
Then we will have ourselves a new Black
Gun Militia crew on our hands.
Fighters ready?
Fighter ready?
All right, let's stop pussy footing around.
When I dropped the
gloves you're free to swing.
Atta boy atta boy!
[Zhek] That guy couldn't even touch you! [Rubia] How are
[Rubia] you feeling? [Zhek] Rubia he couldn't even touch
him. All right, they
sent the amateurs out first.
Listen, you don't need to kill the
opener. You just need to make it through
[Rubia] the night. [Zhek] That doesn't mean that we
can't make some noise, right?
A lot of noise means a lot
[Rubia] of enemies. [Rust] Everyone lock in.
Hey, you okay?
Looks like this is gonna be easier than
we thought. Let's just stay in your box.
[Zhek] Black gun militia, baby. [Rust] Play your short game.
Not too up not too down. Just don't let the hits affect
you either way, all right?
All righty. Here we go. Fight
number two is about to begin.
[Sarg] Fighters... [Zhek] Come on.
Enter the ring!
Di, please just please be careful.
Don't get tunnel vision out there.
Hey Hey Hey- Back up now! Settle down before I
have to kick both your asses.
All right, now let's get this fight
started. Are you ready?
All right.
Yeah, what's up?
What's up now y'all? I'm here. I'm here. I'm
coming for you. I'm coming
for you. I'm coming for you.
Yeah, and I'm coming for you too.
Get ready. I'm here
I'm ready.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, end of round one.
He's swinging big all right, you have to
wait. You're not gonna beat this guy
[Rust] running through a wall. [Di] He's hurt.
[Rust] Why are you fighting? [Di] His leg is broken.
Why are you fighting today?
[Di] What do you mean? [Rust] Look at me. All right.
Who are you fighting for? Why are you
sitting in that ring?
Dude, Rust I get it but
he's just swinging out there. He's trash.
All right, don't focus on
anything outside of that ring. Just focus
on what's in front of you.
[Di] Imma break his leg. [Zhek] Like a twig baby.
Here you gotta work with me on this.
I can't stop the
[Rubia] bleeding. [Rust] Look at me.
You're right about the leg, alright? You can use
that but you have to be smart about this.
All right, no dilly dallying. All right.
[Di] Which leg? [Rust] What?
[Di] Which leg was it? [Zhek] Left.
It had to be.
All right, All right.
Round two. Ready? Ready? Let's fight!
All right, I guess that's the end of that.
Folks before we move
on to our final fight
five minute intermission?
He didn't even touch him all right, he's
getting us in guys he's
[Zhek] getting us in. [Rust] Rubia's right, Zhek
All right, so how about it kid? You
holding up alright?
Think you can go for one more?
Yeah.
There's just one more. There's just
one more fight. You can't quit now.
One more one more.
We need those badges. All right, we need them.
Why so much we talk?
You're not the one out there.
Think! I'm just saying think, Ruby.
All right, think about the stakes.
Revenge for Rot's death is not going to get
us anywhere. All right. We can't keep
[Rust] losing. [Zhek] I say yeah. Yeah?
Look who's missing Rust. Look who's missing. All right, your
brother died alone without us.
I know why we're here, but there is a
fine line between
motivation and self-destruction.
[Rubia] Just make it a short round, okay?
[Rust] You think you can go for one more kid?
[Rust] huh, huh? [Rubia] All right, let's do it.
[Rubia] Let's do it. [Rust] All right.
You got this
[Zhek] champ. [Rust] All right, I can make the call
whenever you need me to, alright?
You remember the call, right?
Just in case take this.
That's my brother's poncho, I want you to
have it. Take it all right.
Here we go.
(Screaming)
All right
On to our final fight!
Now
entering the ring
the one
the only
commander of the combat
corps of the Black Gun. Zo-Rah!
You better be ready. All right commander.
Are you ready? All right, let's separate.
Now it's on y'all.
Sharp skills, good balance, you are a warrior.
Just not one of mine.
Let's fucking go then!
That's it!
And now you're fighting mad.
(muffled talking)
He can do it.
Are we ready for round two?
Fighters ready!
Let's go, Sarg!
Let's play!
(dramatic music)
Why are you fighting today?
Look at me!
(rock music)
Di!
Get up!
Get to LIV!
(screaming)
Ah!
You think you're ready for Liv? (screaming)
Ruthless! Lawless!
Deadly!
(screaming)
Hold on, man!
That was a valiant effort, folks!
A warrior's one!
With that being said,
give it up for our new
Black Militia crew member,
DI!
In our final tale
John returns with a purpose.
Getting himself into a
group wilderness trip
with the eccentric Ranger Winkler.
Who gets to the bottom
of the lies on Ganymede.
Who knew that I would be here?
So far away from the university?
I was so lucky to have
been chosen as an RA,
off-running errands,
like when I was an agent of Gaia.
Now on the Jovian frontier.
But why would Professor Gao send me
to the middle of nowhere?
What am I gonna do about that dead body?
And why the hell did he tell me this was
going to be a solo trip?
(acoustic guitar music)
Hello, I am Chief
Park Ranger Hank Winkler.
You can call me Winkler, you can call me Hank,
you can call me Hankie,
you can call me Winky Boy.
Just don't call me Sweetheart.
I am only in love with
the Jovian Park services.
Hi, yeah, I'm John, nice to meet you.
Was this supposed to be a group trip?
Yes, yes, it's a
happy campers group trip.
Isn't it exciting?
You are just in time.
Just in time for...
Hey everybody, let's huddle up.
Let's riff for just a second.
First things first, everybody sound off.
[Winkler] That's when you say your names.
[Xerrie] Well just fucking call them why don't ya?
Okay... Karlotz Myerland.
Ow, what?
That's you.
Yeah, I'm here.
Alright, and that must
make you Ms. Myerland.
It's actually just Xerrie thanks.
Ms. Cassie Rae Cestarian.
Present, I love your outfit.
Oh, thank you.
You're so welcome.
Thank you, and Ms. Nora.
Also present.
Hi, and that must make
you Mr. Bryant Lewood.
Yes sir, Chief Winkler, sir.
You college kids are on a break?
Good, I think you're
gonna have a good time.
We're excited for the falls.
Awesome, awesome.
And I've already met John.
I suppose you don't have a last name?
Well technically it's... it's... it's John.
Okay, Okey Dokey,
everybody's here, let's go.
Now the avian species
around here are quite feisty,
so watch your head.
Okay, so first off, my
name is John of Jovia.
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
At least I didn't think
so for the longest time.
See, I come from the past,
like the very distant past,
like so far in the past
that there's no real record
of my time, but people
are generally the same.
There's war, love,
peace, that sort of thing.
(sighs)
I personally never thought
Professor Gao would actually
make me dig up the corpse
of an old military officer
of a now dead society, but well,
that's the whole reason I'm here.
For science.
I didn't break the fucking bottle, Xer. You did.
You know what, I don't
want your fucking grubby hands
to touch me ever again.
I mean, you're the one who
put it in the blind spot.
I see they left you behind as well.
I'm Nora, by the way.
Yeah, when he was doing the roll call...
sorry. I'm John.
Yes, same, I know, same reason.
Oh, come on, we need
to catch up with them.
Right.
I am just here to retrieve
the journal of Major Archon,
which is believed to
hold within its pages
crucial logs that Professor
Gao has spent years looking for.
I'm not super clear on why he wants them.
I've only been his research
assistant for a short time,
but I know not to ask questions anymore.
I do know that they're in the pocket
of the honorable Major
Archon's decaying corpse.
Ah, I just didn't expect to get caught up
in all of this mess.
Hey guys.
Hi, isn't Dakota Creek glorious?
So, it's really something.
I'm so ready for a break though.
Yes, yes, drop your bags, kick off your shoes,
take yourselves a break.
I'll have something for
you to eat in just a minute.
I hope you like "Murr delights."
What is that?
It's a marmalade made
from a certain species
of Chloradil's third heart.
I guess I'll try some.
I'll pass.
Thank you.
Suit yourself.
Go ahead and relax, I'll
be with you in a minute.
Yeah, I kicked that ball so hard,
they had to turn gravity back on to retrieve it.
Look at this, Lolo, it's so shiny.
It reminds me of yours.
Wow.
You must be really... powerful
Okey dokey, everyone, dinner is served.
Lunch is ready.
What the fuck is that?
It's called "Murr Delight."
It's from Murr country.
It's delicious.
Now eat up.
I'm good thanks.
Yeah, I'll just stick to my jerky.
Do we have to eat that, Mr. Winkler?
I'm gonna pass, sir.
Same, no offense.
So, nobody wants to try this?
Nope.
I do, sir, I mean, it
looks, it smells interesting.
Oh good, John, thank you, it's delicious.
Eat up, and you can have
what anyone else doesn't want.
Yep, eat it all.
You can take mine, it's all you, brah.
Yeah, you can mine too.
You're all missing out.
Yeah.
(upbeat music)
In the big rock candy mountains,
All the cops have wooden legs.
All the bulldogs all have rubber teeth.
And the hens lay soft boiled eggs.
And the farmer's trees are full of fruit.
And the barns are full of hay.
Oh, I'm bound to go
where there ain't no snow,
where the rain don't fall,
and the wind don't blow...
I'm bound to go
where there ain't no snow,
where the rain don't fall,
In a big rock candy mountains.
In a big rock candy mountains
you never change your socks,
and the little streams of alcohol
come on trickling down the rocks.
And the brake men have to
tip their hats and
rail road bulls are blind.
There's a lake in a stew in a whiskey tube.
You can paddle all around in a big canoe.
There's a lake in a
stew in a whiskey tube.
You can paddle all around
in a big rock candy mountains.
Okay, we have reached
our last point of interest
before making it to
the cabin for the day.
How long is the cabin away from?
About 20 minutes on foot.
Oh, God.
Now, I know most of you
don't care about this,
so I'll keep it brief.
This is the final
resting place of Major Archon
of the Tellux Federation.
He and most of his men
died here during the plagues,
many millennia ago.
Now, John, I know you have
some interest in the subject,
so do you have any questions?
No, I just wanted to see it.
I have a fascination with
the plagues of the first era.
Weird.
Noted, but weird.
So does anyone else have any questions?
Yeah, is there any more wine?
I just ran out of my stuff.
I have a nice bottle of
port back at the cabin.
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, God.
Oh, Mr. Winkler, do we get
to see any more waterfalls?
In good time, Ms. Cassie Ray.
Well, if there are no more questions,
let's head to my home away from home.
To the Ranger cabin.
(horn honking)
(gentle guitar music)
If I can have my
married couple right here,
the first door to my left.
John, you'll take the end,
and kiddos right over here.
How does it look?
- Come on. - Okay.
This place.
Yeah, you're first. I'm not going in there until you check for bugs.
All right, all right, all right.
(gentle guitar music)
(gentle music)
Here we go.
Sorry, hanky boy.
That'll work.
(gentle music)
Professor John!
Nora.
Hey, are you going for a walk?
Yeah, I was just gonna go on a quick hike
around the cabin area.
Mind if I join you?
Bryan and Cassie went for a walk, alone,
and kinda tired of
playing the third wheel for now.
Sure, I can't think of a
good reason why you can't.
Cool.
How did you hurt your wrist?
It's advanced carpal
tunnel from operating machines
at the lab at the academy.
I'm a senior at the JA.
It's so cool that you're a professor.
Why did you decide to
come on this whole trip?
Long overdue vacation, I mean,
you know how classes are, right?
What about you?
I was kinda dragged along by my friends.
They wanted to do this as a last hurrah before we go to
different planets after college.
We've been friends since childhood,
and it will be our first time apart.
Oh.
Yeah, I just feel like
we've been drifting apart
for a while now.
Ever since they got engaged,
things have been a bit
different between all of us.
I just really want my
friends back, you know?
It doesn't matter, nevermind.
No, look, I get that feeling.
I mean, that makes sense, you know?
Yeah.
Look, Professor John,
thanks for talking with me,
but I just think I need to
clear my head for a minute.
I'm gonna head back to the cabin, nap,
and probably shower.
- Okay. - I will see you at dinner though, right?
100%.
(drum music)
(birds chirping)
Little did I know digging up a dead body
would be the least of my worries.
(grunting)
(sighing)
Successful missions deserve treats.
Yeah, okay, in hindsight,
this was not the best time
for a double dose of jarta oil.
Let me tell ya.
(upbeat music)
(record scratching)
(screaming)
(door slamming)
She's dead!
Wait, what?
Who?
What the fuck, who?
Someone, she's dead.
What are you saying?
What is going on?
I just saw her body!
Who's body?
- Who's dead? - Cassie Rae.
Oh.
(upbeat music)
John, we're gonna need to see the body.
Take us there now.
Well, this was not on the itinerary,
but now we know Miss
Cassie Rae is dead.
And by the looks of it, she was murdered,
bludgeoning to the head.
And since we don't have any culprits,
I'm afraid you're all suspects.
Everyone get back to the cabin.
We have a few things to discuss.
(upbeat music)
Folks, we're going to
get to the bottom of this.
Somebody has murdered Cassie,
and we're not leaving this cabin
until we figure out who did it.
Wait, what if she just fell?
Her head was bashed in.
This was not an accident.
Now, Mr. John, why don't you tell us
how you came across her body?
Like I said, I was walking along
and I came across her body,
and I came here to tell you all.
Mr. John, please be honest with me.
What were you doing before that?
I was just going on a walk.
To where?
Just around.
Just around?
Mr. John, I am going to need a recap
of everything you did after
we got back here to the cabin.
You fucking killed my fiance.
Mr. Lewood, please, I am in
charge of this interrogation.
So what were you doing?
Well, I put my stuff away,
and then I decided to go
on a short walk with Nora.
And then we walked for a little while,
and then she decided to
turn around and come back here,
and then I decided to turn
around and come back here.
Really?
Just a quick walk, huh?
Then why are your pants covered in mud?
Fuck, this little fucking psycho did it.
No, Professor John would never.
What did you do to Cassie?
If you're not honest with me, Mr. John,
there's nothing I can do to help you,
and I'm going to have to reprimand you.
All right.
I went back to Major Archon's grave site.
Why would you do that?
For this.
Oh, God.
That is fucking disgusting.
You dug up a corpse?
Technically.
Mr. John, I just have
one more question for you.
Why?
I did it for my job.
I'm a research assistant at the Jovian Academy,
and I was told to come here
and retrieve this item for our research.
I thought you said you were a professor.
You were a professor? Who the fuck?
What?
You mean you're not here on this trip
to reconnect with nature?
No, Hank, I did.
I mean, half of my job is
caring about that history.
I wasn't lying to you.
Well, it's Mr. Winkler to you now.
Well, you were lying to me.
I thought you said you were a professor.
I mean, how can we trust
anything else that you say now?
Because everything else
I'm saying is the truth.
I mean, yeah, I lied about my job,
but that was a slight exaggeration.
That doesn't prove that I'm
out here murdering people.
I mean, I was just trying to look
impressive to you all.
That's it.
That's all.
Why would I do something like that?
(group chattering)
Ahoy campers.
While, I believe what Mr.
John has done is a crime
and absolutely disgusting.
I don't believe he murdered Cassie.
That being said, we don't
know who the murderer is yet.
Miss Nora. You were with John
for about half the time.
Can you corroborate his story?
Yeah.
I was with John.
We actually had a
really nice conversation.
Ugh.
Then I just came back here.
I was tired.
I needed a shower.
I just can't believe Cassie.
Miss Nora, I need you
to get a grip on yourself
and I need you to be a lot more specific.
After I left John, he
ran off to dig up a corpse.
I walked a couple
miles back to the cabin,
came inside and went to
take a nap for like 45 minutes.
Then when I woke up, I took a shower.
And then I heard that loud noise
and came out here to find out
that one of my best friends
was murdered by one of you.
Oh.
That's all I did this afternoon.
While, my best friend was killed.
Now can you stop interrogating me
like I would kill my best friend
and talk to someone who
was actually with Cassie?
What?
Who actually was with Cassie?
Probably Karlotz.
Why me?
No, Bryant was.
Him and her left before I did.
Mr. Bryant, you wanna
tell us what you were doing?
Well, Nora's right.
We went for a walk, but
it didn't go as planned.
See, I took Cassie out there to,
because... I took her out there
because I was gonna confess
that I wasn't faithful to her.
See, a couple weeks ago,
I kissed one of our friends.
It was in a study session
and I felt terrible about it.
And I thought that I should tell her
that she deserved to know.
She deserves the world.
And she yelled at me.
Rightfully so, I made a mistake.
I was wrong.
And after that, Cassie walked away.
She said she was gonna
come back to the cabin,
but I didn't see where she went.
What did you do after that?
I came back to the cabin.
And hung out with Xerrie.
Holy shit!
You cheated on Cassie?
As if you weren't
looking at those dumb girls
all fucking day.
Listen, Xer.
We have broken up now.
I don't have to take this shit from you
Excuse me.
The two of you aren't together anymore?
Yeah, we broke up as of today.
See?
No rings, we threw them off the cliff.
Well, I'm gonna have to ignore the fact
that you littered in our
beautiful planetary park.
For now.
Mr. Karlotz, can you
tell me what happened?
Okay, all right.
So, me and Xer, we
thought that we would take
this opportunity and
maybe relax in nature.
So, this could
rekindle things between us.
So, we decided to take a
walk around the property.
And, uh...
very quickly, it was
not very pleasant of a walk
and it turned into a big argument.
I mean, you heard her.
She thinks that I have a
thing for college girls.
So, that turned into an argument.
That's right, you're a fucking pervert.
So, eventually, I broke down
and I've just had it
with her drunken outbursts
all the time.
So, I decided to call it quits.
(sighs)
I mean, I just feel like the
world is so much more peaceful
for me without her
constant fucking nagging
and just yapping all the time.
I think I'm better off without her.
You know what?
I'll fucking stop nagging
you when you start paying
some bills and stop
mooching off my own parents,
you fucking cunt.
So, I told her that I need a divorce.
[Karlotz] She agreed. [Xerrie] Damn right I did.
So, we threw off the rings of the cliff
and parted our ways.
Think after that, I just
returned back to the cabin.
That was it.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
[Karlotz] What do you mean? [Xerrie] No,
because when I got back here,
you were nowhere to be found.
I sat here and drank the shitty port
for 30 minutes with Bryant.
So, where were you, Lo?
Mr. Karlotz, you do understand
that if you don't tell us where you were,
you are a primary suspect.
Okay.
Okay, I'll tell you all.
But you have to promise me
that you're not gonna
judge me for this, all right?
No.
It completely depends on what you did.
So, after we parted our ways,
I went through the woods.
And I jerked off there, okay?
I jerked off.
So fucking disgusting
and so low, even for you.
You were asking for it.
This is not on me, okay?
It was my private time,
so I did my own thing
You're a fucking pig. You're a fucking pig.
Look, I'm sorry, all right?
I really wasn't prepared for this trip.
And definitely not prepared
for somebody getting murdered
on this trip, all right?
That was my own private time,
and I decided to do my thing,
and I went into the woods.
Besides, you and Bryant
went on a little adventure.
So talk about that.
No, we didn't.
I was in the bedroom.
Wait, I thought you
said you were with Bryant.
Oh, I was.
We were in the bedroom.
What were you doing in the bedroom?
Oh, we were just having
a little make out time.
Oh, fuck.
Xer, what?
Oh my God, after all
these years of hard work
to impress your parents and
everything I've done for you,
and you sexualizing me and berating me,
Karlotz do this, Karlotz do that.
What the fuck?
When do I get my break, Xer?
When do I fucking get my break?
I mean, what did you think?
You can just come in here and say,
"Oh yeah, I went into a room
to fucking make out with some fuck."
I never came in and just said,
"Oh, I'm just gonna go and
make out with some chick."
Fuck, Xer, I mean, what
the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm fucking done with this shit.
I'm done with y'all.
Are you fucking done now?
No, fuck you.
Oh my God, why don't you
just go take a fucking timeout,
jack it some more,
make you feel better.
Okay, all right.
Thank you.
All right, can I tell my story now?
So, I was here drinking
some of the shitty port,
and I was about four glasses in
when Bryant, all heartbroken, came in,
and we had some wine.
And then, you know, we just
made our way to the bedroom,
where I was about to give him
the best fucking blow job
he ever received. Until we heard a noise.
And it was John yelling at the door,
he's ruined the whole thing.
So, and by the way,
let me know if you
wanna continue that later.
Oh God.
Well, excuse me, a
little break, if you will.
(drumming)
Look.
I wish it was under better circumstances,
but dinner is served.
We can't get to the
bottom of this atrocity
on an empty stomach.
That looks like fucking
penises, I'm not eating that.
I spent hours making this meal,
and you all look at it like it's garbage.
Yeah.
Fine, that's the way you
wanna be, then be that way.
Mr. Bryant, did she
give you any indication
as to where she might be going,
or who she might be going with?
No, I assumed that she was
gonna come back to the cabin.
I didn't tell her who it was,
so I assumed she was gonna
come back and visit Nora.
If you didn't tell her you kissed me,
then why the hell did she scream at me?
I thought you said you
were coming straight back here
after you left John.
When did you talk to Miss Cassie?
Yeah, I guess I saw
Cassie after Bryant told her
about our romance.
She didn't really like that.
What is wrong with you?
What the hell?
You have always been
jealous of me, but this?
I cannot believe you
fucking kissed Bryant.
What do you mean?
It's not dumb, he
told me and we broke up.
And we're not gonna get married, so.
Well, actually, he kissed me, so.
So it's true.
How could you?
Honestly, I've known
Bryant had a thing for me
ever since we were kids.
I just knew it.
And I've had a crush on him and you knew.
Shut the fuck up, shut up.
You always have some goddamn excuse.
So what if you thought he
had a childhood crush on you?
He is my fucking fiance.
Bryant has always been nice to you,
but he confessed that he
has been in love with me
his entire life.
Fuck you, Cassie.
God, oh my gosh.
I mean, you know what?
I just, I hope y'all
both move away and die.
Says the childish whore.
You're fucking dead!
Ms. Nora, you are under arrest for the
murder of Cassie Rae Sustarian
You fucking killed Cassie. Fuck you! (Screams)
(Screams) My kicking leg!
Silence!
It's taken me a while to accept it.
Nora fucking murdered Cassie.
I think after all this,
all I've really learned
is I can't trust anyone.
I guess no one can trust me either.
I mean, how could they?
Mr. John, it's a shame
you don't think people
can trust you.
Because I trust you.
Even after all this?
My friend, you are not a liar.
Especially after your
testimony at the cabin
and everything you told
me this morning. The truth is...
I think you're one of the most honest
folks I've ever met.
Problem is, I don't think you're being
honest with yourself.
What's that supposed to mean?
How should I know?
I'm just a crazy park ranger.
I think you're pretty sane, Hank.
That you've seen.
Now, take a look out there.
This is one of the most
iconic views in the park.
The great peckers.
I just wish the others
could be here to see this too.
Yeah, I guess they were
out of here pretty quick
after Nora was picked up, huh?
Yeah.
Another thing, I noticed
when you started this journey
you were wearing a wrist brace.
How did you do all that
digging with an injured hand?
Well,
(clears throat)
I guess,
I don't fucking need this.
Very good.
So, what's next?
Ms. Nora will be sent to a Jovian prison
and the others have already
begun their journeys back home.
The question is, what's next for you?
Well, I guess it depends.
What do I find in this?
You know, technically I
could give you a ticket
for digging that up.
But if I'm being honest
and in the name of science,
I hope you find what you're looking for.
You know, I think I probably did.
I'll find out soon enough.
Well, I hope you've
enjoyed our program tonight,
The Tales of Jovia.
A collection of stories
from the far reaching histories
of humanity's past.
A lifeline of lessons for
those from distant worlds
who are joining us in
this new and turbulent era.
May the golden gods bless your souls.
Thank you and have a good night.
(upbeat music)