Downloaded from YTS.BZ
Dispatch. Go ahead.
Sergeant Suzie Boudrias speaking.
Fight in progress in the arena cafeteria.
It's out of control, I need backup.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
How many assailants?
It's Melissa and Antoine Drouin.
Witnesses say it's all 'cause of the Napoleons.
- The hockey players? - Yup.
Antoine cancelled all women's ice time
to make space for the semi-pro team.
His sister Melissa lost her shit.
All right, backup's on the way.
And careful, I heard she's a biter.
Hey! HEY! POLICE!
FIGURE SKATING
WOMEN'S HOCKEY
WOMEN'S CURLING
SKANK
THE FURIES
Sorry.
Are you here for community service?
Yes, yes.
In the basement.
Don't mind me.
Sorry.
All right...
Florian Lefèvre, social worker, anger management specialist?
All right, so... Oh dear!
"Brawl at the arena."
And... really? "Assault on a police officer."
Well, you're lucky your brother didn't press charges.
Half-brother.
Yeah, sure.
It's a local rehab program for women with anger issues,
sponsored by Waterloo's Ladies' Knitting Circle.
Do I look Amish, Florian?
I don't make assumptions.
Hello, ladies!
Hello!
Come on in!
Hi.
Young Léa here is about to complete the program
and I'm told it went great.
Super great!
- Great. - Well done, Léa!
Janine, this is the offender:
Mélissa Drouin.
I'll be monitoring your attendance, miss.
I'm Denise.
You'll see, we have a jolly good time here!
We'll find you something you'll enjoy.
There's so much to do here!
We have knitting, sewing,
macramé, cooking...
We even have a loom!
Of course, if you don't complete your hours,
you'll end up in front of a judge.
And we don't want that to happen, huh?
No, we wouldn't...
Nope!
You'll see, manual labour will help you channel your anger,
safely.
Florian, come on.
I run a construction business.
- Wow. - You see?
I do manual labour every day. What helps me...
channel my anger
is sports.
And I can't do sports anymore,
because of my dumbass half-brother, so...
Do you have a program for that?
Your public displays of anger and violence end now!
HEY!
That pisses me off!
This is Yvette.
She's new, like you.
Yeah, but I'm not violent.
I'm just old!
I think you look good for your age, Mrs. Yvette!
We'll take it from here. Thank you, Florian.
Thank you so much.
Don't have too much fun, this is still community service!
I wouldn't worry.
We can use the help.
As it happens, we are planning our next fundraiser.
Miss, everything we do here is to help the community.
It's very rewarding.
Come on, dammit...
Not a natural, huh?
Don't get me started, Mrs. Yvette.
I'll tell you one thing,
knitting isn't gonna calm me down.
I can confirm.
I've been here two months and I'm still angry.
How'd you end up here?
She lost her front teeth.
Seriously?
Who headbutts?
She called me an "immigrant dyke."
In my day, we said "butch."
We made you maple fudge and coffee.
The organ is such a sensual instrument...
Smile, everyone!
For our social media.
Smile, ladies!
Say cheese!
And one more for Baby Jesus!
Thank you so much.
Hey!
- Mom! - Mom!
Oh, yes! Yes!
- So? - A nightmare.
I'm in for the longest two months of my life.
Knitting has always been my dream.
Knitting has always been your dream?
Yeah! I like wool, and precision stuff is good for my head.
Precision stuff now...
Do you seriously think you could knit?
You have the attention span of a gnat, sweetie.
Son of a bitch!
SKANK
What now?
Come on over, we have Napoleons T-shirts for you to win!
Waterloo finally has a real hockey team, semi-pro,
no more amateurs!
Whoa, a marching band!
The Napoleons really are huge stars.
You've got to be kidding me.
What next, marble statues of the players?
Come on, you hunk of junk.
The arena is at your service, Eric.
I've cleared the schedule for you.
Perfect.
This will be the Napoleons wall.
We'll put up pictures of the players.
Yeah.
But this is the local champions wall.
Nothing but faded pictures.
So outdated... Roxanne hasn't skated in 10 years.
Well, they're nice memories.
It looks awful!
All right, Boss. I'll take these down. Oh...
Wanna take it home to your wife?
Nope. Garbage.
Oh, Éric, I was wondering about...
about my position in the Napoleons organization.
- We haven't talked about it. - Your position, right!
We're on it.
We're thinking about it.
We'll get back to you. Later.
Mélissa, you're not working on my house?
- It's Saturday. - Right.
Well, bye now.
Bye, Boss!
Well, well.
So that's how it is.
You sold everyone out for a job in the semi-pro organization?
I didn't sell anyone out, OK?
I run this arena,
and amateur sports don't draw crowds.
It's just math.
And was vandalizing my car just math, Einstein?
Don't know what you're talking about...
skank.
Funny how just the women's teams
got kicked out of the arena by the Napoleons.
That's normal too! Women's leagues aren't as popular.
How can we get popular when we've been on our own for years?
We get zero funding from the city!
- Ow, dammit... - My God...
Twizzlers, boys?
Me too!
So are you gonna get your sister another job?
Half-sister.
You know coaching five-year-olds in figure skating
is all she can do since her accident.
- It's not a big deal. - Yes, it is!
All this.
You're doing it all to piss me off!
Mom! Don't talk with your mouth full.
Yeah, don't talk with your mouth full.
What are you gonna do?
Break my other arm?
Antoine.
Dad left the family business to me.
You'll have to get over it.
I was his son!
I should have been the boss!
You don't even have a construction license, dumbass!
Hey! Hey!
You can't touch me!
I have a sling because of you!
I could call your social worker, you know.
He gave me his card.
- Mom, I want a sling! - Me too!
No one gets a sling.
And that's not a sling, it's a scarf!
Let's go.
Can I keep these?
- Sure. - Yes!
All done!
Just like your pretty blue eyes.
Wait.
Mrs. Yvette, you forgot to take your pills again.
Why have a Post-it if you won't take them?
You're letting yourself rot like an old banana on a counter.
No, I'm not taking my pills.
They make me sleepy, nauseous, and I don't feel like myself.
I understand, but we've talked about this.
You need to take them anyway,
for your own good.
Have your loved ones noticed more memory loss?
I don't have any loved ones.
And the Knitting Circle?
Weren't you supposed to try it?
I did.
I knit now.
Like a real little old lady.
Great. So?
I hate it!
Fine.
Then find something else. I don't know.
Do some puzzles, scrapbooking.
Revisit your memories, your old photo albums.
Write your memoir.
All joking aside, being active would help slow down your Alzheimer's.
All right.
I'll be on my way, I have other residents to see.
I'll leave you to your curlers, sexy lady.
Dammit.
Benoit, stop hitting your brother.
Why? You get to hit your brother!
Half-brother.
Chill out, it's community service, not jail.
I'm just worried, babe. That's all I'm saying.
Your fight with Antoine, seriously...
You're worried but you didn't feed the boys.
Why are you shirtless?
I had to wash my T-shirt.
Did you know the Napoleons would get my hockey cancelled?
Huh? How would I know that?
I don't know, Bryan, maybe because you're the captain?
Mom, is Dad gonna move back in?
What? No! Dad does his laundry here
because he hasn't bought a washing machine yet.
He does his laundry at night?
He was awake when I went to pee, so...
Hey, boys!
I found a parachute!
Go play in the living room.
So?
Wanna tell them we're fucking but don't love each other anymore?
- Where's the hammer? - Forget it.
Boys, no shoes on the couch!
You're setting a bad example for the twins when you fight.
No one bats an eye when you fight at hockey.
That's different.
You know what, Bryan? I owe you nothing.
But I'm their father, no?
How many times did you pick them up from daycare since our breakup? Twice?
It's been two years. Think before you speak, monkey boy.
CASSANDRE DROUIN FALLS AT REGIONALS
Fuck. Oh, fuck.
MAYDAY! Help! SOS!
I'm sorry.
Don't panic!
I'm a volunteer firefighter!
- Cass. - What?
Screw up like this again and you're sleeping at Mom and Dad's.
- But they're dead. - Exactly.
Mom!
Benoit stole my parachute!
I'm so fucking tired.
It's under control!
Fire's out!
CANADIAN STAR LEADS BAY BOMBERS TO CHAMPIONSHIP
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for some action.
We're here tonight at Madison Square Garden
in front of a crowd of 20,000
for a breathtaking roller derby match.
Here are the rules: Two teams face off.
One player per team, called "the jammer,"
can score points by passing her opponents.
To help her, her teammates block, push and sometimes hit hard.
And with "the whip", their weapon of choice,
the jammer grabs her teammate's arm to fling herself forward.
Do not try this at home!
Hello!
What's going on?
Hello?
I'm Cassandre.
We were waiting for you, Mélissa.
You're late.
The fearsome San Francisco Bay Bombers are on the track tonight,
led by a local star: Yvette Gingras, "Canadian Fury."
She sets off...
The spectators are holding their breath.
Oh! Violent contact in the turn!
Her opponent sways and crashes to the floor.
What's this, Mom?
That's roller derby.
Oh! Right in the kisser!
The referees are trying to stop the fight but the crowd is going wild!
She sets off again after the whistle.
Canadian Fury makes an inside pass,
then an outside one...
And she scores!
Not one but four points!
The crowd is chanting her name!
That's you, ma'am?
Final lap.
The Bombers are dominating.
The crowd stands up!
What a show from Canadian Fury!
Victory for the San Francisco Bay Bombers!
Victory for Canadian Fury!
How come we didn't know we had such a star in Waterloo?
Because I'm old.
And no one gives a shit about old people.
Amen.
No more knitting.
We'll gather a team of women to do roller derby
right here in the church basement.
That'll be your community service.
And I'll be coaching you.
No, Yvette. Listen.
What'll happen is I'll finish my hours.
And the only thing I'll gather is my damn patience. Got it?
You said sports would help you.
Well, I'm offering you a sport!
Yes! Say yes, Mom!
You go crazy when you don't play sports.
That's true.
Do it for me, please.
Come on, Cassandre!
I run a business and have five-year-old twins.
I have no time for after-school sports with grannies.
You're stuck here anyway, so if you would rather knit...
And you're all okay with this?
We have conditions.
We protect you from Florian but, in return...
We organize the greatest fundraiser
in the history of the Knitting Circle!
A derby game.
Oh yes!
Exactly!
Now, if we want to play a game, we'll need to recruit
because there are only three of us.
All right. Mrs. Yvette?
What do we need?
We need agile women,
strong women,
precise women,
with a good sense of balance.
Ideally, a few who know how to skate.
I think I saw a garbage woman on skates the other day.
How high were you, Cassandre?
I'm very flexible!
Are you made out of playdough?!
Yeah!
And, um, it'll be important to tell the recruits that, legally,
I'm supposed to be doing community service.
As Florian said,
we're channelling your anger.
- That's all. - We're channelling the hell out of it.
The real question is what you do have to offer?
What does the modern woman need?
A vibrator and a fucking break.
Well, that's what we're offering, Mélissa.
- A fucking break. - Yeah.
Are you sure it's a good idea to recruit a cop?
My neck still hurts from her tackle, so yes.
She's in position. Go!
Come on, Suzie! Flash your cherries!
Well, Drouin.
Feels like you want me to chase you.
The hunter becomes the hunted.
Did anyone order dessert?
Mrs. Yvette! You can't smoke here.
I've always wanted skates like these!
Are they vintage?!
Do you want to play derby?
Oh yes, I do!
No way.
But Mom!
Léa, I don't want you playing derby.
I'll have a sprinkle cookie. This one, yes!
Yay!
- It's at the church. - It's only women.
- It's super violent! - Come on!
- I said no. - Anyway, we need her.
- Why? - She's our captain.
On one condition.
I'm coming with her.
Excuse me?
Deal.
I come here often with the guys from the station.
Watch this.
Yeah!
Same thing, my man? All right!
Let's go!
Out of the way, you bums!
I'm working!
That'll be $35, handsome.
No, no yelling...
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey! Hey!
Stop...
Stop!
No!
STOP!
Ma'am?
Do you need a fucking break?
Yes.
Why are you here?
To play roller derby.
That's it?
Well, um...
We already have a bearded lady.
Bring out a lion tamer, and we have ourselves a circus!
Never seen a circus with a pig before.
A circus? Come on.
Don't be so hard on yourself hon, I love your beard.
Sonia.
- You're Sonia, right? - Yes.
Why are you here?
I don't know.
Mom can't play curling anymore since Antoine kicked everyone out.
- But it made her feel better. - It did.
Exactly.
We're here because playing sports
is our fucking self-care!
Yeah! Self-care!
Self-care! Self-care!
All right! Let's skate!
Oh God...
Only you two can skate?
We're naturals.
Learning how to fall is key.
I think we've got falling down.
So true!
Hello, girls.
Mind telling me what Roxanne Tremblay is doing here?
She's a former skater, I had to recruit her.
You know I can't stand her, Cassandre.
But she was regional champion twelve years running.
It's like she's flying.
She's my client, I don't want to see her here!
Ah... but she's such a great skater!
So beautiful!
- You're not dizzy? - She keeps on spinning!
Don't you get it?
She's married to the owner of the Napoleons.
But she's such a great skater!
I'm gonna puke.
She's gotta stop, I'm dizzy!
Watch this, she's coming back.
Is there a spot on the team?
Welcome, Roxanne.
Girl power.
- Girl power! - Girl power!
Look, a nice string-tied ham!
You're so dumb!
All right! Now, roller derby is a contact sport.
Just like football.
You form a pack and tackle the others!
What is it?
The track isn't sloped like in your videos, Yvette.
No, and we don't punch anymore either.
What's this for, then?
They're on backwards, honey.
Okay, Mélissa. Go!
Come on!
I'll knock you all down!
What's happening?
Lea, this seems very violent.
And this is your last week so you won't need to come back.
But I want to be here, Mom.
I miss sports, and I'm done with cheerleading.
I thought you liked it.
It's not me anymore.
Come and get it!
Are you sure you're okay?
Maybe if I hit my head again,
I'll go back to how I was before.
Pretty sure that's not how it works.
Why don't you take a water break, sweetie?
Let's go, Sonia!
Her skating accident really messed her up.
Poor girl, she's not all there anymore. I feel so sorry for her.
Usually, when people bully my sister, I break their legs.
Too bad you can't break mine.
You wouldn't want to lose your biggest contract, hmm?
- Kathleen. - I'm just fooling around!
Better luck next time!
Looks delicious!
I have a sweet tooth!
Leave some for the rest of us!
Girls, we've found you a league!
- Huh! - Already?
You go, Denise!
The rules:
To join the league, you need to master the Minimum Skills.
These are self-graded skills test.
So... are we doing it?
Of course we're doing it! What an idiot.
Self-graded? How do they stop people from cheating?
They don't. So let's cheat!
We'll be watching you.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no point in cheating
because in less than a month,
girls from Montreal
will be here to approve our application.
Montreal? The city?
As opposed to what?
Okay. We need a team name.
Yes, we need a good name!
The Queens!
That's the name of a band.
I know, but with an "S."
The Amazons.
Makes me think of package deliveries.
Yeah, same.
- Waterloo? - Huh?
The Waterloo Waterloos?
Lame.
I know!
- The Girls. - Oh, good one!
It's like we're the Spice Girls or something...
You got a problem with the Spice Girls?
- Yeah? - I have nothing against the Spice Girls...
Anyway, boys and girls, it's a very binary label.
Here we go again with the binary stuff...
Zip!
I think we should have a true French name.
So it could be something like...
La Dream Team!
Yeah, that's good!
Or just, like...
Isabelle.
What?
Nah, it doesn't work because it's also an English name!
"Isabel." Crap...
I've got it.
Fury.
Like Yvette.
Yes!
That was Yvette's derby name: Canadian Fury!
Furies, with an "S"!
It's a beautiful homage.
- That's true! - Furies!
The Waterloo Furies...
That sounds good.
It's a good name!
Not to be a bummer, but...
We may have a good name, but we look like the slow kids
with our shitty gear.
Right!
I don't think we're allowed to say that anymore.
But you're right.
Sorry, I have no money for this.
Me neither.
Come on, girls!
We can't play like this, we'll look like fucking charity cases!
Well, there's our solution.
I'll handle it, girls.
What do you mean by "handle it"?
I'll buy everyone new gear.
- Come on, now. No way. - Really?
That's fine, I can buy my own stuff.
It's nothing, really.
But Roxanne, it'll be at least...
$100!
She's so cute!
Don't worry, Éric's credit card will pay for it.
Don't worry, Éric's credit card will pay.
Cédric will be paying.
Who's Dérek?
Don't mention it, really.
Roxanne, right?
Thank you.
Now that's a team player! Right? Which goes by the name of...
- Roxanne. - Furies!
Furies! Furies! Furies!
Merry Christmas, girls.
My Furies!
We have one month
to turn you into real motherfucking badass bitches!
The first of the Minimum Skills:
Skating.
Go! Go! Go, girls!
Go, go!
Easy for you to say from your fucking scooter!
Buckle up, here we go!
(X) SKATING
I got it! I got it now!
(X) SKATING () BRAKING
Come on, girls. It's not that hard.
You've got to be kidding me.
Facing danger is part of learning.
Sonia! Let's go!
Go, Mom.
If you mess my face up, Sonia, I'll gouge your eyes out!
(X) SKATING (X) BRAKING
Keep your eyes on your exam.
I was just scratching an itch.
Yes!
(X) WRITTEN EXAM
() FORMING A PACK Together, girls!
You have to stick together!
All right, sweetie pies, let's get closer. Come closer, everyone!
Come over here, sweetie!
Just like little fishies, we have to stick together.
Together!
Just like little fishies, ladies! We're little fishies!
Some fishies are pulling too hard.
And some fishies are slow swimmers.
Could all little fishies shut the fuck up?
That's genius!
(X) FORMING A PACK
We made Nanaimo bars.
Perfect!
We'll be there right after the whip training. 10-4!
No, that's not it.
I don't get it.
This sport is so complicated!
Now, now! All right, girls.
The goal of the whip is to help
propel our jammer forward,
past the blocker pack.
Okay, hang on.
C'mere.
There you go.
Ready?
B-but...
She got a strike!
Oh shit, sorry!
We'll never pull it off!
Yvette!
Florian, Mélissa's social worker, is on his way.
Oh fuck, I'm in deep shit!
- Drouin, I'll handle this. - Right.
Come on, girls. Let's go hide in the church!
Go! Go! Go!
Freeze!
Freeze.
Thergeant Thuzie...
Sergeant Suzie Boudrias.
I came to make sure everything's in order.
The offender was exemplary.
- Everything's under control. Yeah. - Ah!
Okay, phew!
That's your social worker, Mel? He's cute.
I didn't know the police were involved in rehabilitation.
- That's great! - Yeah.
Is that a new program?
- And he has an accent? - Shut up!
He's so hot...
Yes!
Yeah, the police came up with this...
program, yes.
A program for...
violent women...
and victims...
to meet.
So they can...
understand the impact of their actions.
It's called Furies.
- Is that an acronym? - Exactly!
What does it stand for?
Hang on, give me a second to remember.
F... F...
Female.
Right. Female.
- United... - United?
Rehabilitation.
Intense.
- I see. - Extra. Serious.
FURIES. Yup.
- Ah, with an "S." - Of course.
Furies with an "S."
Of course. This is serious!
- Right? - Sure, sure.
No, no, no! Hey, hey, hey...
This has been...
a trying day for Mrs. Drouin.
She needs some privacy.
That's why I'm leaving.
So why are you wearing skates?
It's a new program.
- Another program? - Yes.
Yeah, we're in our program era.
We really love programs!
Yes.
Okay, wow. Very good.
Does it have an acronym?
No. Listen. There are bike cops, and roller skate cops now.
So, have a nice day!
- Move along! - Let's go!
- Yeah, that way! - Move along!
You go that way, I'll go this way.
- All right... - Okay!
Well... Have a nice day!
You too!
Ah, I love this city.
Let's go! Move along!
Go back inside! Nothing to see here!
Goodbye!
Oh boy...
Nailed it!
OMG, Suzie!
You saved my ass, girl!
You're welcome.
Can't believe I'm actually kinda digging a cop right now.
Oh, fuck off!
Hate to kill the vibe,
but the Montreal girls will be here tomorrow
and we still can't do the whip.
What will be, will be.
Too late to back out anyway. Come on!
I think we're pretty good at backing up.
This house is massive.
That's because it's a McMansion.
What's a McMansion?
Cass, could you get the crowbar from the truck?
It's in the back, next to the jigsaw.
Crowbar!
Cassandre!
Goddammit!
It's okay, it was an accident...
Could you not break everything for once?
That's what I always say.
You okay, Rox?
Yes, she's fine.
I dropped a bowl, is all.
- No big deal. - I'll clean this up.
No, stop! Stop, stop.
Your... Your broom is dirty.
But it's nice of you to offer.
I have to take this, my love.
- Mel? Mel! - Hello?
I was looking for you!
- Roxanne! - Hello.
I really like your...
McMansion.
Cassandre!
Why don't you teach me skating anymore? I miss it.
Because the hockey guys took our spot.
Hey, why don't you come to our roller derby thing later?
No, no.
Boys need sports.
And us girls have plenty of other activities!
We'll find you something else, don't worry.
Boys will be boys.
Why don't you do a little routine for Mommy?
I'll come watch.
No, don't touch anything!
Out, out, out!
Out of my kitchen!
- Does that give you a buzz? - Mrs. Yvette, open your mouth.
A bit but it might just be the asthma.
Ah, you're late!
It's kind of my thing.
Are they here?
Not yet.
That's it:
I'm moving to Montreal.
Over my dead body!
Based on the sample,
lotta dykes in this sport.
Almost as many as in the police.
What does "ACAB" mean?
All cops are bastards.
Maybe don't mention your job.
Hey.
Hello.
Yo.
- Bonjour, hi! - Hola.
I'm Marie-Cunni.
Marie-Cunni?
Marie-Cunni is my derby name.
I'm in charge of the league.
So, you're the Furies.
Yup.
- Yeah. - Yes!
Are you okay?
I'm Léa.
I see you've learned how to fall, Léa.
Yeah...
- Are you ready to begin? - Yeah.
So today, we'll do a scrimmage.
What's a "kermidge"?
I think it's scrambled eggs.
Actually, it's a quick game you'll play against each other
to see if you've really learned the skills.
We'll see if you can skate, brake,
form a pack and do the whip.
The whip? We can't...
We just want to make sure it's safe for you to join the league.
Not sure it's safe for you if we join the league.
- Shush... - Why?
That was a joke.
Just kidding.
Right.
Well...
Let's go.
Sorry, 24?
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm 24.
Oh!
You guys skate this way?
There's only one way in derby.
I know, Marie-Cunni.
I passed the exam.
I was kidding.
Cassandre, come here.
Listen, Cassandre, it's pretty simple.
In this game, there are blockers and jammers.
The jammer is the one with the star on her helmet.
And to score points,
the jammer needs to pass through the blockers
and go around the track.
When she completes a lap,
she scores one point for each opponent she passes.
Do you get it?
- What's this? - The stripe's the pivot.
That's like the joker.
If the jammer gives you the star,
you become the jammer.
Hmm, the joker...
Yup.
All right, girls! Show them what you can do!
Bring it on!
Come on!
Get off me!
I'm coming, Léa!
Oh, my God, Mom!
- Blockers, stop them! - Come back here!
Tripod, blue team!
- Turn around, idiot! - Come on!
No time for a figure-skating routine, let's go!
- Call the jam, Léa! - I did it!
Dammit.
Good job, Mel!
Everyone on the bench!
That was good, huh? Puta madre, puta madre!
Really helps you blow off steam, doesn't it?
I used to get like that when I was on coke.
I mean, back in the day...
You did good, girls.
That was great!
You showed them you can play both offense and defense!
That was a great jam!
I even scored points!
Yeah!
All right, we get it.
Jealous, Drouin?
Mélissa...
Under the pinnies we're all on the same team.
You're right.
Well done, Léa.
Girls.
Good job.
You just need to do a whip.
Oh no, not the whip!
Not the whip.
If we can't do the whip,
you can kiss the Furies goodbye.
Girls, girls, girls.
I practiced. I got this. Follow my lead.
I don't want to do it.
I'll do it!
Come on, give me your star.
I've got this. I've got this.
- I've got this. - Go, Kathleen!
Let's do it.
Okay, make room!
Out of the way! Come on, come on!
What are they doing?
Jesus! My ankle!
Did I do it?
No.
Fucking hell!
Did we make it?
No.
We need a miracle!
I knew it! I told you!
Impossible!
Say that again?
Roller derby! It's super feminist.
- And it's on skates, like yours. - But with body checking.
They canceled the curling league.
What? I don't get it.
- I have anger issues. - Okay...
We're doing a scrimmage, which isn't scrambled eggs.
But we can't do the whip.
Whip?
Miracle Whip.
Are you in or out?
So...
we need you on our roller derby team!
Nah. Sorry, girls. I'm working.
What's in it for me anyway?
Friends forever?
Please!
All right. I'm in!
I knew she was real!
Marie-Cunni, check it again.
Her name isn't on the list you gave me.
She was just late. She's our ace!
That's not how it works. She's not signed up.
Girl, chill.
You think they grabbed me off the street?
Come on, okay?
Look again, I'm sure my name is there.
Kim. Look!
K-I-M.
- Kim. - But it's not...
Grab her shoulders like this, okay?
- Hey, what's up? - Come on, Drouin!
Got your back, girl!
She got through! Mel got through!
What do I do? What do I do?
Get over there and grab her!
- And I toss her? - Like a trash bag!
Come on, come on!
I did it?
Furies!
Yes, girls! We did it! We're in a league!
I'm gonna be sore tomorrow at daycare!
I have a huge bruise on my ass!
When Roxanne tackled me. Check it out!
Pull up your pants, girl!
And look at Roxanne's wrist! That's gnarly!
I bruise easily, so...
How did it happen?
From my wrist guards.
Are we gonna talk about how Sonia became possessed?
I am so sorry.
I lost control.
No, no. Stop apologizing.
Sometimes it's good to let loose!
Yeah, Mom, it's good!
Yes, but I would especially like to thank Kim.
She's an angel come down from heaven to save us!
Technically I came down from the back of a garbage truck!
Shooters!
Here's to Kim,
who saved us with her Miracle Whip!
Kim! Kim! Kim!
Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
This should be illegal...
Kathleen, I thought we were having fun!
God, it's disgusting!
Tequila, coffee, Sour Puss, Tabasco. It's a special recipe.
Really wakes you up!
More like traumatizes you.
Sorry, I'll be right back.
Hello?
Good, and you?
I met my first love at roller derby too...
My God... What will my family think?
Well, well. The little ladies stole our table, boys.
There's room for everyone!
Kathleen, sit back down! Your ankle!
Are you nuts? It needs to move! It always needs to move.
Look, I'm putting weight on it.
Go sit over there.
What can I get you?
- Give us two pitchers of lager. - Sure.
All right, girls! Our first game will be in Waterloo, August 26th at 6!
The 26 at 6.
Try saying it fast!
26 at 6, 26 at 6, 26 at 6...
You okay, Cass?
Your hair clips too tight?
First game of what?
Roller derby!
The first Napoleons game is on August 26th,
so we'll have to reschedule.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want to see you all in the stands!
- Right? - Yeah!
Léa, you're the captain. Do something.
Yeah, I'll ask if we can reschedule...
No, no, no! We're not rescheduling, Rox!
We're not rescheduling.
No, I agree!
This is our chance for revenge!
They kicked us out of the arena
because we weren't popular enough.
We'll show them we can be.
- Yeah! - Yes!
No one's gonna show.
Wanna bet?
Do I wanna bet? Do we wanna bet? Let's bet on it!
Let's do it.
Let's bet on which event sells more tickets.
Hockey...
- Or derby. - That's it.
What are the stakes?
If we're more popular,
you let all the amateur sports back into the arena.
Okay. And what if hockey sells more tickets?
What do I win?
The business.
Huh? Seriously?
Say that again?
If hockey sells more tickets,
I give you the family business.
Don't do this, Mel! We'll lose.
We're fun, but we suck.
Deal.
Oh, my goodness...
Let's celebrate! My treat, boys!
I showed up at the right time! The right time, I tell you! Shit!
To your daughter, who'll be able to start figure skating again.
Right... You only think of yourself, Mélissa.
Rox, come on!
Ladies...
We promised the Knitting Circle a fundraiser.
On August 26th, the whole town will breathe derby!
It's gonna get derby in here!
August 26th.
- We're expecting you. - You better be there!
THE WATERLOO FURIES VS THE MONTREAL SEXPOS AUGUST 26TH IN THE CHURCH BASEMENT
What is this bullshit?
Roxanne!
- Is that them? - I don't know...
Roxanne!
Yvette.
Yes, girls!
Roxanne!
You're back!
Not ashamed of us anymore?
I'm just here to tell you I chose the Napoleons.
I'll be with my husband during the game.
For real?
Damn.
Wow.
I'm not surprised.
I made a choice, Mélissa.
To be with my family.
You're free to leave, Roxanne. No one's stopping you.
All right, everyone.
Let's use our last practice before the game
to figure out our derby names!
Oh yes!
Yeah, that's a good idea.
That's an excellent idea, Lisa.
It's Léa.
- What? - I already thought about it.
I'd like something with Malala.
Ma La La Human Step!
We're just brainstorming.
You!
You should be called Garbangel!
Me?
Kathleen, I'm not gonna have a garbage name.
What are you saying?
No, I don't mean it in a bad way!
Focus on the "angel" part.
Because she's our angel.
It's poetic.
For me, I was thinking Wild Kat.
That's good!
I'm a wild cat.
I think I'd like a goddess name.
Like Artemis!
You know she's a huge lesbian icon?
- She is! - It's true!
You can't make this up.
And you could use your real name!
Simon.
- Suzie, what the hell? - It's fine.
Since I'm a nurse, I was thinking...
Scalp-Hell!
Yeah, that's good!
Speaking of scalpels,
I can't be the only one wondering if...
What's wrong with you?
It's just a joke!
You do realize you're the only one laughing?
Simone, are you okay?
Calm down, retard.
What did you call her?
It's a joke!
- You're pushing it, Suzie! - What did you call her?
All right, let's count to five and calm down.
- One! - Retard.
Two!
Three!
Would be a good derby name for your sister.
Don't touch me!
Ha! Come on!
Four!
Five!
Silence!
Okay, Amira! We're not five.
Maybe, but I think everyone could use a snack and a nap.
Grab an applesauce and shut the fuck up!
I knew the Napoleons were the right choice!
Roxanne?
If you think your boyfriend's team is more important than us,
get the hell out!
You bet, I'm getting out.
And by the way, it's all your fault!
You insisted on keeping our derby game
on the same night our boyfriends have their first semi-pro game!
Bryan isn't my boyfriend! I don't owe anyone anything!
We know. Everyone knows. I think even your kids know.
- Right, boys? - Excuse me?
What's that supposed to mean?
That there's a reason they're so badly behaved!
My extensions!
- No! No! No! - Let her go!
- Let go! - Let her go!
Keep my family out of your mouth!
Let me go!
- Let her go! - Whip her!
You can do it! Kill her!
Come on, Mom! Kill her!
Stop! Stop it!
STOP IT!
Stop! Fight club's over!
What is this mess?
It's roller derby!
Usually.
- I'm telling you, if she stays, I go! - No problem!
She's worse than the old geezers at the residence!
But the game is tomorrow!
Léa, I see you've learned nothing in your two months of service!
I'll take care of it. No more derby for her!
- But Mom-- - It's over, young lady!
No more derby. I am your mother, and you will obey me.
No!
Rosa Parks changed things by disobeying!
What's a Rosa Parks?
It's a brand of flour.
Who's he?
Does he need a slap in the face?
No, Mrs. Yvette. Let's go back to the residence.
Thankfully,
Antoine clued me in on what was afoot here.
Yeah, well... He'll be happy to know that it's all over now.
Great. You leave me no choice. You'll have to face the judge.
Sure, I'll go face the judge, Florian...
if it feeds into your little power trip.
How arrogant can you be?
This time, it won't just be community service.
I'm seriously thinking of contacting child services!
Are you out of your mind?
You wouldn't do that.
It's not like I have nothing to report.
Watch yourselves!
Lil' Sis...
It'll be okay, Mom.
Yeah, it'll be okay.
- Hey, boys! - Hey, Dad!
Mom got in a fight again.
She did?
Let's go to bed, boys.
What are you doing here?
I came to get my laundry.
So why did you fight this time?
Because if I don't, no one will.
But you know what?
I'm done.
I just lost my derby.
It was the one good thing I had.
And I can't beat up child services, so...
Child...
Child services?
Yeah, my social worker is threatening to take the twins away from me.
Oh boy. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Look.
Don't worry.
No, that's just it!
I am worried!
I'm worried every fucking second of my life.
Go home and buy a fucking washing machine!
Okay? If you get custody of the twins, you'll need it.
"We're building a brigade of misfits,
of bent girls, gnawed by insomnia.
We're forming a brigade of girls
who take a deep breath before entering the corner store.
Who take a deep breath
before entering the theatre.
Who take a deep breath before stepping into the bus.
The doctor's office.
The school.
Someone's life.
Mothers with no whimper in their bones.
Mothers with backs wide as a snow-cleared boulevard.
Powerful as a natural disaster.
Hi, it's Léa. Leave a message.
Who chug straight from the bottle.
Who grab their exes by the neck and throw them out the window.
We're forming a brigade of girls who hold their heads high
even after they crash into the wall.
We're forming a brigade of bitches,
of lunatics,
of whores,
of sluts,
of nymphets,
of MILFs,
of cougars,
of psychos,
of borderline girls...
of maniacs.
We put our helmets back on.
We get back in the fight."
- Get off me! - Listen to me, dammit!
Listen when I speak!
- Get off! - Get back here!
Stop it!
- Let go of me! - Get back here!
- It's over, Éric. I'm leaving! - You're not leaving me.
- Dammit! - Stop!
I promise you: If you leave, I will fucking destroy you.
I will destroy you!
Do I make myself clear?
Roxanne, get your things.
Oh honey, honey. Come with me.
Come here.
Come on, come on, come on.
Yvette has Alzheimer's?
Why didn't you tell us?
Confidentiality.
Respect.
Basic concepts you might not know.
Time to go.
Simon? Hey, man! How are you?
It's been a while.
It's Simone.
Her name is Simone.
It's fine, you don't need to speak up for me.
- Yeah, you on your period? - Christ...
You really are useless.
Leave us the hell alone, okay?
Bye now!
She had a big emotional shock.
It must have been our fight.
What's going on?
Is she dead?
Yvette suffered from delirium.
She has Alzheimer's.
Léa.
I'm sorry I disappeared yesterday.
You have green hair?
I shouldn't have. Sorry.
It suits you.
It looks like you.
- Oh! - Hi!
Good morning.
- She's doing better. - Hey!
Hello, Yvette!
My Furies.
Visits are family only.
But this is my family.
It's fine.
Well...
we may be a family,
but are we still a team?
- Of course. - Yes.
Yes.
Okay!
Mrs. Yvette.
We'll give you one last game.
- Yes. - Yup!
Let's do it.
Let's win our bet.
Weren't you going to the Napoleons game with your husband?
He's not my husband anymore.
All right, cool.
Mélissa put her business at stake?
We're gonna play derby.
Yes!
But what about child services?
The knitters handled Florian.
He's just asleep.
What did you put in the maple fudge?
- We dipped into our pill boxes. - I see.
He looks like me hungover on Honey Jack.
Okay, Florian?
Florian?
Florian!
What's going on?!
Don't panic, Florian. You're not dead.
And I'm here for you.
Untie me!
Tape his mouth shut!
Ideally, we shouldn't restrain him, assault him, or imprison him.
That's very limiting.
Florian.
Listen to me.
- We don't want to hurt you. - Maybe a little, sometimes...
We just want you to watch our game.
- Okay? - Anything.
Derby has really helped me channel my anger.
- Really. - I believe you.
- I believe you! - I can confirm.
Well, if a man confirms it, it must be true.
You're not at hockey with the twins?
Uh, no. No, the twins are in the stands.
They'd rather watch their mom play derby.
And I bought a washing machine.
Right.
And a dryer?
No.
If you ever need to...
dry your clothes.
It can get hard in the winter.
Sounds so dirty when they talk about appliances.
Our audience is here!
We'll untie you now.
And then we'll put bleach in your eyes!
Come on, now!
- I'm kidding! - Give me a hand!
Wow! It's so beautiful!
It looks just like my prom.
There are so many people!
I wasn't expecting this.
Knitting Circle ladies came from Bas-Saint-Laurent to see you.
There may only be three of us in Waterloo,
But we're 30,000 across Quebec.
Our post got some traction!
We didn't slack off!
We saw you trying to draw people in with flyers.
That's very cute, but... not very modern.
Wait, you're on TikTok?
Yes, ma'am!
Derby is much more popular on TikTok
than my maple fudge recipe.
Janine, Denise, thank you.
It's time to get dressed ladies.
Your team jerseys are ready!
Thank you! Thank you.
Fire is so Furies!
I feel inspired!
Girls!
I brought my whole makeup kit.
I'm gonna give you killer makeovers!
Okay, but what matters is natural beauty.
- Léa. - Yeah?
We're putting on mascara. Shut up.
Okay!
Not sure it'll be enough to win the bet...
And now, the starting lineup for the Waterloo Napoleons!
Where is everybody? No one's here.
Even the mascot didn't show up!
Yeah, I heard there was a roller derby game at the church.
No way a women's game has more fans.
Yeah.
- Éric? - What?
Well... about my position...
You're still on that?
Forget it! Let it go!
There's no job, Antoine!
There won't be a position!
But...
You lead me on?
We're not getting emotional tonight.
You want a position? Here!
This isn't an amateur league.
It's semi-pro.
You don't belong with the Napoleons.
One, two, three.
Test.
And now, Waterloo...
Your hometown team!
Welcome your Furies!
Number 58:
Whip Trash!
She picks up your garbage
and throws you off the track in a single move!
Number 66:
Wild Kat!
The tigress of Waterloo!
On the track, she claws, she bites,
weaving in and out like no one else!
Number 07:
Frida Chaos!
While her hot dogs are delicious, her tackles are hard to swallow!
Number 14:
the captain,
Tortillera Importada!
It means "immigrant dyke."
Our national figure skater, wearing number 08:
Killmore Girl!
She turned the gracefulness of her triple axel into derby fury!
Wearing number 11,
you never want to see her in your rearview mirror:
Diva Cop!
She hands out parking tickets, but mostly knockouts!
Your favorite nurse! Number 03:
Scalp-Hell!
On the rink she won't take your blood pressure, she'll raise it!
Number 04:
Lady Malalady!
She doesn't mind cleaning up kids' snot,
but comforting her opponents is out of the question!
Number 24:
Itchy Pitchy!
Always a little off-track...
but never not on-point!
She swapped her pickup for roller skates, number 36:
Skank!
She loves bashing faces in,
and she'll knock you lower than her plunging neckline!
Coached by none other
than Canadian Fury!
She may look like a little old lady...
but on roller skates or a mobility scooter,
she spreads terror everywhere she goes!
Please welcome your Waterloo Furies!
Waterloo! Waterloo! Waterloo!
And now, we welcome to the roller rink the Montreal team:
the Sexpos!
They all look eight feet tall.
Are we all going to die?
We're gonna take a hell of a beating...
Reminder that we're selling maple fudge at the sacristy.
All proceeds from this game
will go towards Waterloo's women's sports!
My Furies.
The girls you need to focus on
aren't the ones across from you,
but the ones beside you!
The culmination of your journey
is who you became together!
I'm proud of you all.
I'd give anything to be in your skates tonight.
So make me proud, you fucking brats!
We will!
FURIES!
The Furies send Skank to the track as the jammer,
along with Itchy Pitchy,
Lady Malalady
Diva Cop,
and Killmore Girl!
Come on, Furies!
We'll show them who's boss!
Sweet Jesus...
Shit!
Score is 8-0 for Montreal,
an extremely chaotic start for the Furies.
Do I need to score points for you?!
Five seconds!
- Hey! - No, no, no!
The Montreal jammer breaks away from the pack
while Skank is stalled by the opponents' blockers.
Skank breaks away...
What great blocking!
Help me!
She's coming back!
Oh my God...
The Montreal jammer passes the blockers once again, scoring four easy points.
If Skank manages to pass through, she'll also score points...
Too late for Waterloo!
The Montreal jammer motions to call off the jam by slapping her hips,
preventing the Furies from scoring.
Oh yeah?
Come on!
Fucking bring it on!
Come on! Kill her, Mom!
Mom, kill her!
Kill her!
KILL HER!
Good play.
Well done!
Channelling my anger!
Yes!
Go, Waterloo!
Skank may be channelling her anger, but the Furies have yet to score.
You were positioned well.
Why isn't it working?
They're everywhere!
They're not everywhere. We're fucking nowhere!
It's a disaster.
We have to copy them.
We do the same as them.
Exactly the same!
Copy them?
Come on, girls.
We'll never win this game
by not being ourselves.
- We could wait for it to be over. - No.
I'll never again wait for it to be over!
Five seconds!
Killmore Girl is lead jammer.
If she passes the pack, she'll score the Furies' first points!
Triple axle...
She did it!
Queen, what was that move?
She's a machine!
That was sick! You're amazing!
Killmore Girl scores four points for the Furies!
Killmore Girl! Killmore Girl!
Five seconds.
Tortillera emerges from the pack.
Frida motions with her hands...
How will they pass the blockers' wall?
That's my girl!
Tortillera Importada scores four points for the Furies!
What a great mother-daughter duo.
We can see a mix of curling and cheerleading in their technique!
- What's this? - The pivot.
That's like the joker.
If the jammer hands you the star,
you become the jammer.
The joker!
Skank hands her star to the pivot.
Itchy Pitchy is now the jammer.
- No! - Other way!
You're going the wrong way, honey.
It's a one-way!
A Montreal blocker breaks away from the pack...
and blocks Itchy Pitchy!
Skank to the rescue!
She throws her sister...
Itchy Pitchy!
Skate, sweetie!
- Go on! - Yeah, okay.
Joker!
Itchy Pitchy!
I got it!
I scored!
The score goes up to 20-16!
A stunning recovery for the Furies, who are now nearly tied with Montreal.
Itchy Pitchy!
Montreal calls for a time-out.
Furies! Furies! Furies!
Canadian Fury!
Calling a time-out?
They're totally freaking out!
This is going well. We might just win this.
Fucking right!
We're gonna win!
We're sold out?!
SOLD OUT
Mrs. Yvette?
You'll have to explain what you're doing here.
You won. The arena's half-empty.
What?!
Okay. But, um...
Then why didn't you stay over there?
They didn't give you the job.
I don't think the bastards ever planned on giving it to me.
Want me to beat 'em up?
You're good at that.
I don't even want the damn business.
It's just...
Where do I fit in?
You belong at the arena, brother.
Yeah.
I am good at that.
The ice is flat, the schedule is well-planned, people are happy.
People love you... when you don't kick them out.
All right?
I'll figure something out.
I hope so, you fucking lost!
Montreal's time-out is now over.
Go. You have city snobs' asses to kick!
Furies!
Girls...
We won the bet. We're getting our ice time back.
My curling!
Let's go, Drouin!
My daughter's skating lessons! Thank you!
- We won the bet! - But...
we still need to win the game.
I don't want to look like a fool in front of the crowd.
Hey, girls!
Can't you see we've already won?
A blazing comeback from the Bombers,
who take the lead 16–20!
16-20!
Where are we?
- Mrs. Yvette? - Where are we?
We need to stop the game.
No!
We really might win!
That's not what matters right now, Léa.
What are you doing on these skates?
I want skates too.
I happen to have a pair of skates for you, ma'am.
You do?
Mel, she has trouble just staying on her feet...
Trust me.
We have a special request.
What's going on?
Mélissa took off her skates.
You just had hip surgery. Now's not the time to break it.
Fuck off about my hip!
You tell her!
I know how to skate.
Yes, you do.
Oh, I sure know how to skate!
You're the one who taught us how to skate.
I've just been informed this will be the last jam of the game.
Game time is being shortened due to unforeseen circumstances.
We welcome to the rink
a roller derby legend.
A woman from Waterloo
who became a huge star in the United States!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Canadian Fury!
The whole Madison Square Garden is on its feet,
cheering the return of the Canadian Fury!
The crowd is standing, screaming,
and going wild for their idol!
Fury! Fury!
Fury! Fury! Fury!
Thank you, Coach.
For everything.
So technically, Canadian Fury just scored ten points, yeah?
I think you're right!
It's 26-20!
Victory to the Waterloo Furies!
Oh. Here's my card.
- If you ever... - You're so handsome!
You can do figure skating again, sweetheart!
No, I want to play derby just like you, Mom!
Congrats!
What will be, will be.
- Mom! - Mom!
You finally found something that doesn't make you mad.
"We're making a brigade of girls, too wild to be wanted.
Too dazzling to be alone.
Loved by everyone at arm's length.
Girls who feast with three ingredients.
Who haul canoes on six hours of sleep.
Who speak too loudly, a little too roughly.
Girls of kept promises,
unreliable as hell but so loyal.
Girls who start fires in the rain.
Girls with loose hair, ultraviolet, self-taught, and irreverent.
We're doing this now.
We'll rest later."