- So I want you to think about
Downloaded from YTS.BZ
what you want most in your life.
What do you want most?
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
And I want you to see it happening.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
[gun pops]
- She wanted to be the best.
- Wanted to be the best in the world.
- She wanted to prove everyone wrong.
- I wanted to outrun everyone in my pack.
- You don't want to be second. You don't want to be third.
- Siri wanted to win everything.
- If you wanna become the best, you have to train harder
than everybody else.
- Anything that you wanna be good at
in the beginning, you're gonna suck at it.
- But the key is, do you really want it bad enough?
- She does not wanna get too far behind.
- I wanted to come back. - She wants to stay with them.
- She wants to stay in that pack.
- I don't wanna let myself down.
- She wanted a good swim, but it's not gone so well so far.
- I just wanted to do whatever I could
to come out with the leaders.
- Do you wanna win races? - Do I wanna ride hard?
I wanna breathe heavy. I wanna sweat.
I wanna feel my legs just aching.
Why would I wanna feel more pain?
I know you're gonna make it. I want a picture at the top.
The why is because you can.
People want to see what that path is gonna look like.
But that path changes all the time.
Who wants to take a chance? You wanna be a leader?
Don't walk around like this.
Are you willing to feel this way?
Or do you wanna change it?
Because if you wanna change it, that's up to you.
Is there something that you want in your life
that you don't have?
What you are going through now...
Ugh.
Is preparing you for what you asked for.
[muffled cheering]
[breathing heavily]
♪ ♪
[cheering]
Morning, everyone.
Today I want to talk about some really bad news, okay?
I was just diagnosed last week with acute myeloid leukemia.
I don't want you to feel sad for me.
I don't want you to pity me.
I am going to make this my most beautiful victory.
When you're called to face something,
are you willing to go there?
- You can see the very aggressive running
style of Siri Lindley.
A good portion of this young lady's career,
she's had to play catch-up.
- But will she have it in her legs today?
- Someone said, aren't you aware
of the statistics of you surviving this?
When I was 23 years old, I fell in love
with the sport of triathlon.
I didn't think about what the odds were.
But what I can tell you is that being faced
with this disease, I just wanna live.
And I hope in getting myself through this,
I'm gonna also help others get
through their own challenges as well.
What if changing our belief about something
can actually make the experience totally different?
I'm going to be afraid, but I need to do it anyway.
- The crowd bringing her home.
- Siri Lindley is on her way home.
- I have no choice but to go through a clinical trial.
I wanna thank all of you for coming here.
If you wanna stand here
and observe any of these other herds,
the horses don't judge one another.
They show up as they are.
Nearly every single weekend,
we have equine healing events at our ranch.
It's a safe place where people know that they can come
with their anxiety, they can come with their fear,
but they're gonna leave feeling better.
Horses are unbelievable therapists.
I'm not gonna tell you what's gonna happen today,
but if you wanna get the most out of today, be present.
None of us know if we have what it takes
to achieve something, much less overcome a deadly disease.
♪ ♪
My memories as a kid is we didn't have a lot.
We lived in a tiny little yellow house.
My mom and dad were my heroes.
They had my sister first, and I came two years later.
- We had a nice, healthy, real, genuine life
that any kid would've killed for.
- When she was very little,
I think that was a happy time for her.
A lot of affection, a lot of reassurance.
- Everything I could ever need as a child,
love and connection and my family around me.
[upbeat music]
- Then this famous football player came into our life.
- Glorious and fearless Frank Gifford.
- Thank you Howard. You two, please try and get
along a little bit and help me today.
- His name is Frank Gifford.
- Frank Gifford, very famous, very rich.
- My mom, she went to a party with her boss.
In walked Frank, and that was it.
- That was it
from that moment forward.
My dad was devastated.
And when I was four, my mom and dad got divorced.
Frank and my mom started dating. He was married.
So after a couple of months, he came to my mom
and said, I can't do this anymore.
And he broke up with her.
She was heartbroken.
And when we talk about it now, she says she was hurting
so much that she was looking for attention.
One night we ran into mom's bedroom.
She was on the floor with a empty pill bottle
lying beside her.
- We both found her together and she just didn't respond.
And they pumped out her stomach and stuff.
But for her to wanna take her own life, what about us?
- The story I told myself when my mom tried
to take her own life is that I'm not enough for her
to wanna stick around for.
I'm not enough.
- It's just something I'll never forgive myself for.
- We're all human.
We have suffered deeply.
And oftentimes the first person you need to forgive is you.
- But I never wanted to die. Never.
What do I do? I can't...I can't erase it.
- We've all maybe had moments where we fell to the ground
in despair and terror about what we're going through,
but we stand back up again.
We dust ourselves off.
We forgive ourselves and love ourselves through that moment
and we move forward.
Frank ended up wanting to get back together with my mom.
He sat my sister and I down
and he said, I wanna marry your mom,
but I'm not gonna do it unless I get your permission.
And I sat there and I said, no, no, you can't marry my mom.
It's not okay.
- ♪ Watched the sky changing color ♪
- But he married her anyway.
- ♪ And the leaves turning brown ♪
- I should have listened to Siri.
He promised if I would marry him,
that he would take care of my kids.
- ♪ Feel myself sinking under ♪
- This was the end of life as we knew it.
- ♪ Feel it dragging me down ♪
- We moved into this giant mansion far away
from everything.
The people that were now coming into our lives,
they didn't seem real to me.
- OJ was coming all the time.
Howard Cosell, Don Meredith.
George Brett used to babysit us.
- Maybe you're listening thinking, oh my God,
that's amazing.
You spoiled brat. How can you not appreciate that?
But no, I don't want this big house
where no one's ever home.
- ♪ I don't want to feel anything ♪
- Frank took my mom away all the time for weeks at a time.
- I left the kids a lot at a crucial time.
I was selfish.
I was in love and I had a very, very demanding husband.
And I sacrificed being a good mother for that.
- Siri became like a recluse waiting
for someone to come home.
And if my mom did come home with Frank, we had to go up
to our rooms the minute he got back.
- Kids were not meant to be seen.
They were not meant to be heard.
- He would say, I want those kids in their room.
I would feel so torn.
I'd be running upstairs to make sure they were okay.
And then went back down again.
- I just got my license, and I would just take off
and leave Siri alone.
She totally looked up to me 'cause I'm the older sister.
But I was a bitch to her.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- It's like they don't even care we're here.
- Have you ever felt that in your life?
Like you may as well not even be there?
Who's felt like an outsider in their own home sometimes?
We had these big closets.
And I'd get inside, close the door behind me,
and I'd just wait for someone to come home.
All I wanted at that time was my sister's love.
I was so desperate
just for her to see me.
I'd get in bed with her and she did not like
that I did that.
And I would take my arm
and I would just put one finger on her body.
Just one. I just wanted to, like,
feel another human being next to me.
I just wanted to know that I wasn't alone.
I wanted to feel life.
And she'd kind of smack my hand away.
I'd try again. She'd smack my hand away.
- I was going through the same stuff just in a different way.
Alcohol, eating disorder, spending.
That was the way to get away from any feelings.
- Are you open to receiving the care?
- Yes.
- And the love?
Do you believe in you?
- I'm trying.
I never wanted to be driven
and succeed, which is what she needed
to get over this pain.
So for me, I just took to the alcohol.
- I know you have to go.
I love you so much, Lisa.
I was a 16-year-old, and my mom came to me
and said, Frank wants a divorce.
- After that initial pain of Frank getting married,
like, a week after we divorced, it all showed me that
I could have a great life without him.
- My dad bought me a jeep for high school graduation.
Took the top off, put lacrosse sticks, skis,
a dog, a keg, and drove to Colorado.
I was trying to find myself.
So that's the path I chose.
Siri took the glorious path of sports.
And then this is where we lost all touch.
- I became an achiever.
I became a straight A student, you know,
an incredible athlete.
I got into all the best colleges.
I was the first female in Brown University history
to play three varsity sports in one year.
Field hockey, ice hockey and lacrosse were my escape.
When I would go to practice, when I was in a game,
I was no longer worried and stressed
and anxious and depressed.
It was my escape. It was where I became free.
My dad came to every single game.
He's the one yelling and screaming
on the sidelines, you know, telling us all
what we could be doing better.
- Her father really cared about winning.
He didn't care how she played as long as she won.
- On the outside, it looked like I had it made.
But on the inside I was really wanting
to discover who I was.
And in my senior year, I discovered that I was gay.
I was so in the closet.
I did not want anyone to know who I really was.
So carrying that secret just felt awful.
It just...I felt so inauthentic.
Going from a place where there was a time
where I didn't want to live, to now wanting
to live to be a million years old,
that freedom that comes with self-love
and self-acceptance is
the most glorious freedom you could ever dream of having,
or at least in my opinion.
After I graduated, I met some people and they were gay
and they had this big community and they were all friends.
I wanted to have more people like me that could help me
with this transition
and becoming more comfortable with being gay.
At about this same time,
I got a phone call from my father.
He was crying on the other end of the phone, like...
like, bawling, couldn't speak.
And when he finally got his words, he said,
somebody told me you're gay.
I could not possibly have a daughter that's gay.
I beg you, you tell me right now that this isn't true.
I said, Dad, I'm the same me.
I'm still me, but I'm gay.
Please just... can you love me anyway?
And he hung up the phone,
and after that I was lucky
if he called me on Christmas.
I was lucky if he remembered my birthday.
My hero is rejecting me
and basically saying, you're nothing.
His rejection set me on this desperate mission
to wanna prove to myself that I was worthy,
that I could achieve great things, that I could be loved,
not just by others, but most importantly by myself.
I'm searching for something that was inside of me.
I met this woman at the YMCA that did triathlons,
and I had no idea what a triathlon was.
And she said, why don't you come
and watch me in this triathlon this weekend?
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
I showed up and I was just in awe.
It was people of all sizes, ages,
ability levels.
I felt like, what a way to discover yourself
- To the rest of us,
it may seem like unimaginable torture,
masochism, insanity.
But to the men and women you'll see today,
it is the ultimate challenge.
The triathlon, an event only for those blessed
with the most unusual inner strength and determination.
[cannon blasts]
- Diana, clearly these are unusual people.
How would you characterize the typical endurance athlete?
- In the past, Jim, the endurance athlete
has always been unfairly categorized.
The long distance swimmers like me, these people here,
the marathon runners, as crazy, wacko, eccentric,
out of their minds, masochistic, and that's all right.
- I call our sport an equal opportunity abuser.
It doesn't care if you're big or small
or in a wheelchair or missing a leg.
Get from point A to point B, swim, bike,
and run, and you're a triathlete.
- I just had this calling like I have to go there
and see if I can be one of those finishers.
- For Mark Allen,
the long quest for victory is over.
- Is it physical or is it psychological?
♪ ♪
- It is 80% mental, 20% physical.
That's how big the mental side of it is.
- It's really about being mentally willing
to hurt yourself frequently in training
and then go to a... even another place in a race.
- How hard can I push?
- Every single person that becomes a world champion
has a background in swim, bike, or run.
- And the main deterrent for our folks is the swim.
- Swimming is the shortest segment of the triathlon.
However, many of the athletes here feel
it may be the most difficult segment.
- It's dark. The water's cold.
There's current, there's kelp.
Somebody playing bongos on your head.
- Yeah, yeah, I think I know how to swim.
I haven't done a lot of it.
- You come outta the water, then you get on the bike.
- But that's when they'll go to their lower body
and really start working the legs.
- Yeah, I had a banana seat bike when I was a kid.
- When we're done with the bike, you want to go for a run?
- Yeah, I run up and down a field after balls super fast.
- They put their pain aside by taking it one mile at a time.
- I found what I was looking for.
- Is there a better feeling in the world
of triathletes than this one?
- I did my first race. I came in dead last.
But I had never felt so alive.
I was so excited. My adorable mom was there.
She'd been cheering me on the whole time
- 'Cause she had a terrible bike.
She didn't know how to swim, and that night,
I said, just the fact that you finished,
that's an accomplishment in itself.
- Each of these triathletes came with personal goals.
Their courageous stories played out
long after the cheering crowd,
a victory, no matter how they placed.
- Many triathlons have developed throughout the country
and indeed throughout the entire world.
- No way.
Mom,
I am gonna be the best in the world in this sport.
Did I believe it? No.
- And I said, okay, here's the deal.
Two years, I'll support you.
If at the end of those two years
it doesn't look like you're gonna be the world champion
of triathlon, then you... you move on to something else.
- You know, I'm an athlete. I'm determined.
I have this deep emotional reason why I need
to take on this sport and become good at it.
So I almost had to role-play that girl
that one day was gonna become the best
in the world in this sport.
What would she do?
Well, she moved to Boulder, Colorado, the mecca of the sport
- From Boulder, Colorado, this is Siri Lindley.
- She would train in the morning,
at lunchtime, at night.
She would model people that have done
what I dream of doing.
- The best triathletes in the world.
- Karen Smyers looking to do as much of the work...
- Karen Smyers came from way behind...
- Carol Montgomery.
- One of Canada's top triathletes.
- Emma Carney, the defending world champion.
- Katie Jones has proved herself to be...
- Katie Jones, world number one.
- Also Loretta Harrop.
- Loretta Harrop, one of the favorites.
- But I sucked.
- Most athletes you can look at at the top, top, top,
get there by hard work, but they also have
a lot of natural talent.
Siri, in my opinion,
did not have natural talent for triathlon.
She didn't know how to swim.
- She needed help in her swim,
you know, so that was one thing.
- Swim was my absolute weakness.
- She doesn't have a good swim.
- A pretty pathetic swim, actually.
- Siri Lindley had an absolutely horrible swim
- And the bike definitely needed help.
- She did not have confidence on the bike.
- Lindley's slow. She'll have a lot
of catching up to do on the bike.
- She rented a bike.
It was just... [laughing]
But how cute.
- And she was not a nationally gifted runner.
- But they blend together to make one sport.
If you can optimize and maximize those together,
all of a sudden, you can come out on top.
[cheering]
- And I just remember them saying,
you know, this gal, you know, she's got big dreams.
- Number 35, from the USA, Siri Lindley.
- That's all of us. We all have big dreams.
- At the time we were told more than 95%
of all professional triathletes came from swimming background.
- People grow up as swimmers.
- Top swimmers moving into the front.
Barb Lindquist, of course.
- Laura Reback comes in,
an all-American high school swimmer.
- That swimming strength really showing.
- Rina Hill is one of the most accomplished swimmers
on the triathlon circuit.
- It's the toughest sport to learn.
- It'll make life difficult
for the not-so-experienced swimmers.
- I tend to start the year, you know,
setting some realistic goals.
- I had no idea that she really wanted
to become number one in the world at the time.
I would say, impossible.
- Today I want to offer up a thought.
Next week I get admitted into the hospital,
which is gonna be tough on my body, of course.
My athletes,
when they're training really hard
or they're in the middle of a race...
Laser focused
and everything you have inside of you.
What I always say to them is, you want it to hurt.
You can do it. Mind of steel.
You run your fastest 21K right now, girl, you got this.
When it hurts, it means that you're going fast.
- Siri Lindley of the United States of America,
clearly now starting to feel the pain.
- Going fast hurts.
- She attacked it like I've never seen anyone else
attack anything before in my life.
- In short time,
not only did she catch up to me...
- Fast in our neighborhood, guys, fast is hard.
- She passed me and then she left me.
- One of the hardest things to do in this sport...
There's always more. There's always more.
Is to get comfortable with real pain.
And stop. Awesome.
What if every struggle or every challenge
that you were immersed in...
- Erika Molnar now takes it away from Siri Lindley.
- You decided that you were gonna live in a beautiful state
no matter what?
I feel like there's so much that I don't know
that it's kind of a bit of an adventure.
- Sometimes you train
and you know that you barely can keep up.
- There we see Lindley well struggling with this early pace.
- You either give up or you say, I'm gonna come back
and I'm gonna do better.
And Siri was that.
- Change the emotion behind that pain
and acknowledge that it's something that's great.
- Siri Lindley clearly now starting
to feel the pain and struggle.
She really does find herself in unfamiliar territory.
- Every session for me was do or die.
Every session was life or death.
- I think Siri wanted to prove
everyone wrong.
- She's always been back in the water,
has had to really force the pace on the bike
and then track them down on the run.
- If we start our day focusing on, you know,
that good energy...
Today's just a perfect day for a triathlon.
The sun's out.
If we start our day with that kind of a mindset...
Believing that I actually have a shot at winning a race.
We can make the most horrible day a decent day.
- That's Siri Lindley, who one has to say
is looking a little fatigued.
- I am going to use this word leukemia
and have it be something that allows me to strengthen
amidst the challenge.
What I'm imagining in that moment is that point
when you have to fricking go.
And when you're scared, you're not gonna give up.
You're just gonna find your strength,
you're gonna find your courage, and you're gonna forge forward.
Who says that I have to suffer?
Who says that I have to feel sick?
- Of course it might get worse, it might get better
as she gradually warms up.
- Okay, maybe she's not the classic swimmer, cyclist,
or runner, but you put that mind in there
and her willpower in there,
then you have something very special.
- Redefine what everybody thinks you should be feeling
going through a certain experience.
- From the time she did her first triathlon
to the time she was doing the circuit, the ITU circuit
with the best people in the world was like four years.
- Really the only way a triathlete can make money
is if they're winning.
Until you are winning, you won't get sponsorship.
But it's so hard to win
without the support of sponsors.
Ralph Lauren approached me.
They have this RLX line, it's their athletic line.
And they wanted to sponsor me, and I hadn't won anything yet.
And I'm thinking, oh my God,
like, this was an incredible deal.
They're offering, you know, bikes and running shoes
and bonuses
for if you place in certain races and clothes.
All the clothes I needed.
And I thought, my God, they're offering me the sponsorship,
and I'm not even good yet.
So I go to this meeting in New York City
to sign the contract.
And at this point, I'm just getting
comfortable with being gay.
More people know. You know, I was dating a girl.
And I get there and at the end of the meeting
before I'm gonna sign, they said,
there's just a couple things.
Number one, you need to grow your hair long.
And number two, you need to get a boyfriend,
because this is a very family-oriented company
and you need to fit the image.
And I sat there, and in my mind I'm thinking,
this sponsorship could propel me to where I dream of going.
And if I don't take it, I may not make it.
So I signed the contract, I left that room,
and I literally stomped right back into my closet,
slammed the door shut,
and had to pretend to be straight
for the rest of my career.
- In the mid-'90s,
we get accepted into the Olympics for 2000.
This is a sport that started in '78,
and not that long after '78, we are in the Olympics.
- It had never been in the Olympics before.
They had like the first ever Olympic trials.
- I choked at the Olympic trials,
and I'm just beside myself.
And Loretta Harrop comes up to me.
Loretta Harrop was the gutsiest,
grittiest, most impressive
triathlete out there.
Not only was she an extraordinary swimmer...
- Loretta comes out first.
- She would just push herself to oblivion on the bike
to where she would get two, sometimes three minutes' gap
on everyone else in the race.
And then she would just run with all her heart
to hold on to win.
- As Loretta Harrop continues to dominate the early stages
of the ITU World Cup tour...
- And I just thought she was the coolest,
most awesome triathlete on the circuit.
- You know, I expected to win every race.
Didn't expect second and I didn't expect third
- For us now, there's no question
that Loretta Harrop has been sensational from the start.
- I mean, I liked the pressure.
I liked being the world number one.
I liked to be the one that everyone had to beat.
I liked to be the one that they had to chase down.
- Loretta's style is,
I'm going off the front, and you gotta catch me.
- Australia's Loretta Harrop,
a superb performance in 1:59:45.
- And Siri's style was, I'm starting behind.
I've gotta work my butt off and catch you.
- There we see Lindley struggling with this early pace.
- I didn't know her that well,
but I could tell how bad she wanted it.
I could tell how bad she'd work for it.
- And she says, hey, I know how bad you want this.
You should come and train with me, with my squad
and with Brett Sutton.
He's the best coach in the world.
There's no one as good as him.
I don't know if he'll take you,
but I'm gonna tell him he should.
- Oh, Brett Sutton.
[laughs]
Well, I can thank him because I had a lot of amazing results.
- There's a lot of different coaching styles.
You have, you know, the Brett Sutton style,
which is like...
he creates world champions, but he also breaks people.
- He was a coach that was not spoken about.
He was kind of taboo.
People used to use the expression, you know,
he'll throw eggs against the wall.
Whichever one doesn't break, well, there's your champion.
- He basically either produced the world's best
or they were injured and broken.
- Don't look to the side.
Don't talk to anyone else at a race.
Don't say hi. Don't hang out with friends.
Don't go out for dinner. Don't socialize.
Don't be around your mother 'cause she loves you too much.
It sounds crazy, it sounds almost cultish,
but I think that's what he thought it was gonna take.
- So you've seen all the thing... oh, he's a hard man.
He's this, he's that, he's...blah, blah, blah.
I like that, because it filters out
all the softies from coming to my place.
I just knock out 80%
of the people that are kidding themselves.
I used to roll out all the champs,
say, look at these people.
You know what they did, and what did they do?
They shut up and did what I told them.
- Seventh round of the World Cup tour has gone to Loretta Harrop.
A dominating performance and emphatic victory.
- A lot of people were scared to come over to Brett.
I just said to her that if she did want it that bad,
then she should come no matter what.
- She drove me insane, Loretta Harrop.
She just said, you know, I have a friend,
I think she could be better.
[laughter]
I said no about six times, if we wanna be honest.
Well I said to Loretta on the sixth time, I said,
look, I'm gonna tell you something.
If I bring her in
and do what I think I can do, she's gonna beat you.
And she said, bring it on.
- And it was literally, like, a week later
I moved to Switzerland.
I'm in customs waiting for my bag.
And on the other side of the glass is Brett Sutton.
- I told her to retire.
Forget all the people behind her, before and after.
We're starting afresh.
It's a new...this is a second part of your career.
- And he says, okay, well, you're gonna go do
a win trainer session down with Loretta Harrop.
I see Loretta.
I'm like, oh, you know, thank God someone that I know,
someone that can, like, gimme some encouragement.
Doesn't even look up. - When she first came over,
I think she's expecting that we were gonna be best friends,
and I wasn't really like that.
I invited her over to start her journey,
to see if she could, you know, make something at triathlon.
- We were meant to ride our bikes down to the bottom
of the mountain, 20-something-K ride down to the pool.
We did the swim session
that was bigger than any session I've ever done in my life.
Every single lap was just flat-out hard.
I get out of the pool when we're done and I walk my bike out,
and Loretta is there, and I said,
okay, so does Brett, like... does he pick us up?
Where do we go to get the van?
And she looked at me and just started laughing
like, ride home.
And that's like the Swiss Alps.
It's steep, it's like a wall, and I'm just about to cry.
And I'll never forget, she said, go with Jane.
Jane sucks.
And I found Jane,
and Jane just dropped me within the first five minutes.
So I was the worst athlete in the entire squad.
I got my butt kicked.
- Now, it takes a long time to do the possible.
It takes a little longer to do the impossible.
If you're not here to do the impossible,
don't waste my time.
- One day I went up to him
'cause I couldn't bend my legs, my arms.
I was stiff as a board.
And I said, Brett, I can't do
what you're asking me to do today.
I can't bend my knees. I can't bend my arms.
I need a day off.
He looked at the door as if to say, well, you can go home.
And he said, find a way.
[electric guitar music]
- These are born killers.
She's with people who've been swimming all their lives,
and she just had to get better every single day
just to keep up.
- Here we create the atmosphere
where winning becomes inevitable.
I don't care if you don't feel great,
I wanna see your effort.
- And I kept thinking to myself, this is how people train?
No wonder, no wonder I haven't gotten where I wanna go
because this is insane.
Like, I can't do this.
And every single day he would give me these tasks
that seemed impossible.
- And I'd be standing there saying, you can do this.
She'd go, I can't do it. Oh God, it's killing me.
[wailing]
You can do it. And she'd break through.
And that'd give her confidence.
- So the first race was the Hungary World Cup.
- So away they go then, 30 competitors in all.
- I was so stiff, I was so sore, I was so exhausted.
So I had no expectations.
- There's Loretta Harrop at the front,
and she hasn't even got her feet in her shoes at the moment.
Siri Lindley of the USA pushing on hard.
Here come the chase pack through there,
and Siri Lindley's still at the front of that.
- I couldn't expect anything 'cause I was so sore.
And I got out there and I was free.
- Third place, Siri Lindley of the USA,
catching hard, as you can see.
She's not far off. On you go, girl.
- And imagine the confidence that that gave me to know
how bad I felt
but having the best race of my entire career.
- She wanted to test herself and see where she was at.
- But it's gonna be Loretta Harrop waving the flag,
the fans going wild.
- I got the win that day and Siri came in second.
- Second place, a delighted Siri Lindley
of the USA, her first podium.
- That's the first podium I ever had at a World Cup race.
Today when I realized that I had it,
it was one of the greatest moments ever.
It was like in that moment
after that race where I let go of my fear of not belonging
that I had proved to myself that I have what it takes
to belong in this group
of such high caliber athletes.
My second World Cup race was Lausanne, Switzerland.
Now, I had been modeling Michellie Jones for a long time.
And if I could stay on Michellie Jones's feet,
that was gonna put me in a great position
because I knew that every race,
Michellie Jones is going for the win.
So my plan became, learn how to race to win.
- So away they go from the pontoon.
It's a small field but a big event, and away they go.
- I was relentless.
All I'm doing is giving everything I have
to hold onto the bubbles
and the feet of the person in front of me.
And I got on Michellie's feet
and I came out of the swim on her feet.
- Siri Lindley is into transition,
but here come the rest of them.
- Now we're gonna be in the same bike pack.
- Michellie Jones hits the front of the chase pack,
driving this pack forward now.
But she's really pushing here.
Michellie Jones now leading the chase pack.
- Can we get off the bike together?
- Michellie Jones and Siri Lindley.
- I'm running, like, side by side with her,
and for the first time ever I'm like,
this is too slow for me.
- Siri Lindley, look at her go. This is fast pace.
- And suddenly I'm leading this World Cup race.
Like this is everything that I've dreamed of
night after night after night.
- Siri Lindley is on a fly at the moment.
Michellie Jones has got no answer.
She's gone past Mesmer to go into third place.
- There was nothing nasty about her.
She was as soft as butter.
But it gave me the confidence and the belief
that I could turn her into a real kickass athlete
- And it is gonna be Siri Lindley.
What a moment for her career.
The first ITU win for her.
Second last week and first this week, she is ecstatic.
- Oh my God.
Maybe it wasn't the skill, maybe it wasn't the ability,
but man, I had the grit, I had the desire,
I had the dedication, and I belonged.
I'm meant to be up there.
And today was just a total challenge to see
just how far I could go.
And when I crossed that line, I knew that it wasn't a dream
and it was reality, and I'm just so happy
I could cry again.
I'm starting to feel confident.
But the most important thing is, Brett is still
hammering me in training.
- Yeah, you won. I didn't like your race.
What do you mean? I won!
I said that wasn't the best you can do.
So for me, it's not a win for me.
- Brett, there's no question.
He was really a tough, tough coach.
And even with his toughness
and his relentlessness,
he somehow built her psyche
to where she believed she could be the very best.
- He sees something in people they don't see in themselves.
And he saw something in Siri,
and I don't think he saw it right away,
but I think he was able to look
beneath the surface
and realize the drive that she had.
- To go from not really knowing how to swim
to saying I want be the best triathlete in the world,
that's a big ask.
- And amazingly Siri Lindley right up there,
really brilliant swim by her.
- Well, Siri Lindley now leading that first pack.
Siri Lindley just running away now
already from the rest of the field.
- There's always those turning points in our life
where maybe you see possibility
but you have no guarantee, of course,
but you know you have to pursue it anyway.
That never give up comes from the tough moments in life,
points where you were beaten down a little bit
and you had to pick up the pieces,
points where you fell short of something that you wanted
and you didn't get it,
points where you felt like you were ready for something great
and it was pulled from your hand.
- For me, I go out in every race just expecting
my biggest competitor to be myself
because I'm the only one who has control over me.
So I'll give it my best shot
and we'll just see what happens.
- Every single race is a metaphor
for how you overcome life.
- I actually retired from triathlon because of Siri.
I don't know if she even knows this,
but I watched her move away from home.
I watched her move to another country.
I watched her leave her family behind.
- I lost my grandma yesterday.
And so this was very emotional for me
because I just so wanted to go out and just do it for her.
- I watched her do sit-ups every single night.
- And we are looking at Siri Lindley,
who is steaming out in front on the run shot.
- And the dedication I saw, I wanted no part of it.
- Hopefully this will just be the beginning
of some more good things to come.
So I'm coming off of... I think it was three wins,
and I end up at the world championships.
- Edmonton has put out the call
and the finest female triathletes have answered.
- I don't even think she was supposed to race
the world championships, and I remember her having
a start number in like the sixties,
which means you don't get your own start position
on the pontoon.
That would've probably crumbled most athletes,
but it fueled her.
- You know, I'm trying not to make it any different
than any other race, to be honest.
And I know how big it is and it is the world championships.
But I think for me it's better to just approach it
as just another race.
- The women start from a pontoon, they'll take one
or two strides, and get right into the swim.
- So the race starts, and I have a real bad start.
- And it's been said many times in triathlon
that you can't win an event in the swim,
but you can certainly lose it.
- At that point, the Americans really weren't
that great on the world scene.
It was really the Aussies. The Aussies had everybody.
- Well, year after year it seems
that it tends to be an Australian
that's definitely on the podium.
We've seen seven of the last ten years,
the world champion has come from Australia.
- You know, it was big in our sport back then.
It was just one day a year
and you had to beat everyone in the world
that was there that day.
- As the rest of the chase pack starting to come out now.
- And I get out of the water far behind.
- We're back with the leaders again.
Loretta Harrop, though, wanting to push as hard as possible
- In the past with a swim like that,
the meaning I would've given that bad swim is,
race is over.
At this level, there's no way you can catch back up
to the front at a world championship.
- Two years earlier she would've let it go.
This time she didn't.
- We've had quite heavy rain earlier this morning,
but those dark ominous looking clouds are moving in,
so expect more rain.
- And I got on my bike.
I was just going harder than I've ever gone.
- The athlete in the middle of the pack,
that's Siri Lindley from United States of America.
She wasn't even in this event a week ago.
She had to get a wild card spot just to get in here.
She is starting to push the pace.
- I caught the fourth pack on the first lap,
the third pack on the second lap.
- And here comes our lead pack.
Two Australians in that lead pack,
Harrop and Hackett.
- And oh! Oh, Hackett's gone down.
The world champion is down.
- I think I crashed in that one.
- Harrop is up and on her bike, but Hackett is down and out.
- A disappointing end for Nicole Hackett,
the defending world champion.
Again, this is the chase pack behind the leaders
and being led at this point in time by Siri Lindley.
[dramatic music]
- She had the weapons on the bike to make that gap up.
- Now Loretta Harrop is shaking her head,
she's getting frustrated that she can't get away.
- And I would be very concerned looking over my shoulder
to see Siri Lindley or Michellie Jones.
- Well, they're two of the finest runners in the sport.
- And on the last lap, I was at the front of the race.
- There's Siri Lindley, normally very, very quick
through transition.
- She came off the bike
and she started the run, and I'm like...
- She is off and running.
This is a terrific transition from Siri Lindley.
- And who's there but Michellie Jones.
And she looks at me and she says,
well, that was fucking stupid.
You are gonna have no legs left to run. What are you doing?
And I don't know where this came from,
but I took a deep breath and I looked back at her
and I said, hey, Michellie, ready to run?
- Michellie Jones, the two-time world champion
shoulder to shoulder with Lindley.
And it'll be Lindley first
through transition onto the 10K run.
- See you later. You know, it's bang!
- I am at my max.
I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to stand another five steps.
Michellie was running beside me.
Like, I could literally feel her breath.
Somehow I dig deeper.
- I do believe Siri Lindley thinks
that this race is destined for her.
She's got in on a wild card,
she's in the best form ever of her life.
- And I keep running. I dig deeper and deeper and deeper.
I'm thinking that Michellie must still be right on me.
- That is a huge gap to put that early into the race,
particularly when you're talking about somebody
of the running stature of Michellie Jones.
- I'm looking for that white hat,
and the white hat just...pew!
- The bell tolls for Siri Lindley.
And it's ringing that she's gonna be the new world
champion if she keeps this up.
- And I yell at her, you're gonna win!
You're gonna win!
- And like 10 feet later, there's Brett,
and he looks at me and he says, you haven't won anything yet!
- Siri Lindley has been lapping some of the slower runners,
and you see them move aside.
- Siri Lindley continues to dominate at the front.
The crowd really enjoying this.
- Here's the smile I've been waiting for.
It's Siri Lindley.
Will go in front of the grandstand
for the finishing few meters.
She has her hands on the American flag.
Just a few meters to go now,
and it's a world championship
for Siri Lindley of the United States.
- I can't even put it into words.
- It was like a shark with no teeth.
But we put the teeth on it.
- World champion Siri Lindley.
Maybe you just got lucky. Maybe it was a fluke.
That is the only reason why I stuck around for another year.
Being an athlete is exhausting.
Being an athlete in the closet is even more exhausting.
- You're constantly evaluating a situation.
Do people know? Are they gonna find out?
What's gonna happen if they find out?
- Siri Lindley getting the full support of the crowd
as she strikes towards
yet another victory in this historic year.
The American has been untouchable really.
- I remember telling her that I had come out
and almost feeling guilty
that she was still in the world having to hide
and put up all these fronts.
- I had such inner turmoil.
I'm so happy. I am really, really happy.
- And once again, the big smile from Siri Lindley.
- Knowing who I was on the inside,
having hidden it for so long.
- Siri Lindley just looks so comfortable and so confident.
- I felt so inauthentic.
- And we can see just how confident Siri Lindley is.
Nothing's going wrong in this woman's life at the moment.
- It was hard to not have my dad at my triathlons.
I was angry that he didn't want to be a part of it,
that he didn't wanna experience it.
- But it is Siri Lindley to take four in a row.
A brilliant display for the girl from Boulder, Colorado.
- ♪ A love song was playing ♪
♪ On the radio ♪
♪ It made me kind of sad ♪
♪ Because it made me think of you ♪
- Because I'm gay, I'm worthless,
I'll never find love, I'll never be successful.
- She heads towards an historic fifth victory.
Can anyone stop this woman?
- I wasn't willing to live that story.
- Top of the world, Siri Lindley.
- I just think that she would portray on the outside
where she wanted to feel on the inside.
[cheering]
- ♪ By the way ♪
♪ I forgive you ♪
♪ After all ♪
♪ Maybe I should thank you ♪
♪ For giving me what I've found ♪
♪ 'Cause without you around I've been doing just fine ♪
- Unbelievable performance
from the world champion Siri Lindley.
- ♪ Except for any time I hear that song ♪
- I regret every minute of that.
Missing all those years and not sharing our lives together.
[Brandi Carlile's "Every Time I Hear That Song"]
- ♪ By the way ♪
♪ I forgive you ♪
- She had so much to share and was accomplishing so much.
- ♪ Maybe I should thank you ♪
♪ For giving me what I've found ♪
- It was incredible to see, to witness.
It was domination.
- Siri Lindley of the United States
well back at this point.
- If you remember last year,
Siri Lindley won it from behind by running through the field.
- Your goal is to win the world title.
Okay, then people say, well, it's a fluke.
- Siri Lindley moving up on the third place.
Siri Lindley is now in second place.
- Here is Siri Lindley.
Look at her flying past...
- You see the finish sign as she heads down the stretch.
- Well, then she does it again. Not a fluke.
She proved everything she needed to prove to herself,
to her family, to the other pros.
She was, you know... she was the best in the world,
and nobody could question that.
- After a streak of podium finishes,
women's champion Siri Lindley's season ground to a halt
after pulling a muscle at the Nice World Cup.
She's had a few weeks' recovery
and is ready to defend in Cancun.
- The mistake I made there is,
I knew I was gonna retire after that race.
- Well, it's very, very hot here in Cancun.
Low 30 degrees Celsius.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- I was still number one in the world,
so I retired at the top.
You know, it just wasn't an ideal race to have
as my last race, but...
- ♪ You took it all ♪
♪ This is not okay ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Wish I could choose ♪
- I was unfocused and I'll never forget,
I just forgot to drink on the bike.
I just didn't drink anything
- ♪ I said ♪
♪ That I'd be all right ♪
♪ And you were off the hook ♪
- In that heat and humidity,
I mean, you've gotta be... when you're working that hard,
you've gotta be hydrating.
And I made it,
but I passed out the second I crossed the line.
- ♪ Tears that I have cried ♪
- That last race was a metaphor for my life
to that point where it's just, you know what?
I just...I can't do this anymore.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Wish I could choose ♪
- My retiring then
was the first, most powerful act
of love towards myself.
I did the best that I could with what I knew at the time.
I did the best that I could with the tools
and the strategies I had at the time.
Now that I know better, I do better.
It's time now for me to focus on other people
and focus on, through coaching,
being able to somehow help other athletes experience
the same highs that I was able
to experience and also the lows.
And to learn the types of things
that I learned about myself through the sport.
[upbeat music]
- Never underestimate the value
of a human relationship in bringing
something outta somebody.
- Siri was masterful in preparing her athletes
for the biggest stage and for the biggest races.
- A woman from the US named Susan Williams
reached out to Siri.
- I just wanted to go to the Olympics.
You know, that was my dream.
And Siri's the one who put the little bugs like, you...
you could place here.
We'd start working together.
- Nobody picked Susan Williams to be on the podium.
Nobody, except for Siri.
- She saw that I could get a medal when I...
I didn't see that.
- And she ended up getting a bronze medal.
That was the first individual medal for the US.
- She was just on a mission to show the world
that she was a legitimate coaching force.
And I was on a mission to prove to the world
that I could be one of the greatest triathletes.
We decided that Iron Man was really
where my strengths would lie and at the world championship.
So I won the race set, the course record there.
And then we came back and defended that title in 2014.
- I feel like everybody wants to be coached by Siri Lindley.
- The band is going to require
that you increase your stroke rate.
- You know, it's funny 'cause I'm probably the only person
that's more competitive than her,
and she jokes that she's not competitive anymore,
but she so is.
- My wife is incredible.
She also is one of the fastest Iron Man athletes in history.
That's my wife.
She chose me.
- It's a pretty powerful team.
♪ ♪
- I think Siri brings the silly out of Bek.
- Really?
- It just, you know, alleviates a little bit of that pain
to see her just having fun and...
She only dances when she's like super excited or happy.
So you know that you're doing a great job when she starts
dancing mid-session.
- And people say, oh, I wanna have what you two have.
And I was like, we're so lucky. We're so fortunate.
Like, the universe wanted us to be together.
- And this is a lady that I'm... you're gonna fall in love with.
[cheers and applause]
An absolute true champion.
Siri Lindley. Bring it, Siri.
[cheers and applause]
- I'll tell you in just one sentence.
This woman didn't know how to swim
and decided she wanted to become the world's greatest triathlete.
- Whoo!
- And when we got on the phone,
there was just this instant connection.
It was like we've known each other for years.
- Thank you, Tony. - And she's got so much joy
and so much love and she's such a giver
that she became part of our chosen family.
- I tell you what,
it wasn't about becoming the world champion.
- Everybody falls in love with Siri.
- When I found my holy grail, my beautiful wife Rebekah.
[cheers and applause]
- Her passion is just gorgeous.
And I always love when she shares at the event...
- I got a phone call from my father.
- But there's a process that we actually do with every one
of those events, and it's called the blame process.
- And when he finally found his words, he said,
somebody told me you are gay.
- And if you're busy blaming somebody for all your problems,
my theory is...
- We also need to blame them for the good.
- And Tony said, I want you
to thank the person that hurt you the most.
- She ran outta the room.
- And I looked on the curb and she's on the phone,
and I could hear her dad's voice and I was like...
- Oh my God, I didn't know if I expected him
to actually answer.
And I said, Dad, you broke my heart
in a million pieces.
I wanna forgive you and I...
- Wanna thank you for being the father...
- I needed you to be, to become the woman
that I'm so proud to be today.
[soft music]
- What was beautiful when she called,
you know, you realize how much
you really want to build on this.
Her marriage is to die for.
That should be everybody's goal,
to just be able to share something like that.
- And so one of the great moments for me was, you know,
about a year later and I looked down in the front row
and there's Siri with her daddy
and they're just hugging each other.
And that's Siri, right?
Feeling that love with each other
and binding together with a sense
of certainty about a compelling future.
- It was November, 2019.
She had gone in for a routine blood test
because she was told she needed a double hip replacement.
So I said, but why are you so wanting
to get it done so quickly?
She said, because I wanna be able
to dance on the Tony Robbins stage,
and if I'm in a wheelchair, I'm not gonna be able
to do my Siri dance.
- She went probably five days
before the surgery was scheduled for her pre-op,
and they of course took blood.
Her white cell count was down to practically nothing.
And the doctor came out and said,
we can't do anything until you have this checked.
- The doctor called, and I'll never forget this,
they said, we need to inform you
that you have acute myeloid leukemia.
- You have acute myeloid leukemia.
- Acute myeloid leukemia.
- I'm gonna focus on all the beautiful things
that will come from this
and I'm gonna focus also on sharing this with you.
No matter what I end up looking like as the weeks go by
or what I end up feeling like when the weeks go by,
I will be here for you
because I'm gonna have you learn and grow
on this journey through me.
- It is a blood cancer
and it's a cancer of the bone marrow.
- It's bad luck.
It's like a lightning bolt comes out of the blue,
completely disrupts and blows up a person's life,
needs to be addressed immediately.
And it's incredibly unfair and incredibly difficult.
- This isn't my time to go.
I've got everything I've ever dreamed of having in my life.
I'm not having that taken away from me.
This journey begins
and it's going to be the biggest challenge
of my life by far.
- How does an athlete that is so healthy, that eats so well,
that takes such good care of her body,
that is such a good person... like, why?
All I could think of was, why her?
- This disease has the capacity to take a person's life
days after they were diagnosed.
There was a much likelier chance
of her dying from her disease than surviving.
- Savannah is the first horse
that I rescued.
The day I had to leave for the hospital,
I had tears streaming down my face.
I'm gonna be back riding you, Savannah, I'm gonna be back.
I love you. I'm thinking of you.
- We know that Siri is sick.
We know that she has cancer,
but we don't know is, what level.
- Part of me was like, what? Siri? Like, she's gonna be fine.
It's Siri...like, she's the most positive, upbeat.
If anyone can beat this, it's Siri.
But there's still the, but what if she doesn't?
And, like, I can't not have her in my life anymore.
Like, I just...I need her.
Oh.
- Thought I have to accept this.
But I was like, she's not going anywhere.
She's gonna survive this.
Like, I'm gonna be by her side
and I'm not gonna let her leave me.
- Traditional way to treat this disease is
to give an incredibly intensive chemotherapy regimen.
There are many patients who die not from their disease
but from this treatment.
She's the fittest person on the planet.
No one in the world could have withstood
intensive chemotherapy better than her.
Why do that to someone if you don't have to?
- And I had a genetic mutation
that apparently was not one you wanna have.
But there just happened to be this new clinical trial,
and everyone around me was kind of looking,
like, nervous about that.
But for some reason I was like, excellent.
I wanna hear about it.
- Clinical trial, like, it's not even like guaranteed.
Like, a clinical trial. Like, what is that?
- A clinical trial is an experiment.
It's an experiment that a patient volunteers
to participate in to get a drug that is not available
through any conventional means.
- If you didn't do clinical trials, you wouldn't get
any of these new drugs that are out.
We would just keep throwing the same stuff
at the same thing.
We gotta keep moving forward.
The diseases are.
- There's great hope that this is going to be a treatment
that can finally heal people of these kinds of cancers.
I'm willing to be the one that gives it a try.
- She said, no, I wanna do anything I possibly can.
I'm not afraid
- Without people like Siri,
we would not make any progress in our field.
There's no possible way we could move the ball forward
if we didn't have people volunteer
for clinical trials.
- Hi,everyone. It is December 9th, day one.
And I'm all hooked up to my healing tonic,
I'm gonna call it.
Don't worry, I got this.
It's just scary. You know?
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- The goal is to get the disease into a remission.
Once we're in a remission, it's sort of like
we have a breather, we can take a breath.
- This is our countdown to remission.
What do you reckon, guys?
- Yes, I have acute myeloid leukemia.
Yes, the statistics are not great,
but you know what, I proved when I was 23 years old
that eight years later I could be the number one
triathlete in the world.
I achieved that dream even though
the odds of that happening were next to nothing.
And I'm gonna do the same here.
♪ ♪
- You can't see yourself struggling through the cancer.
You've gotta see yourself all the way at the other end,
completely on the other side.
Healthy, whole, vibrant, and done.
You need to feel the emotions of it, the excitement,
the happiness, the vibration of it,
because that's what makes it happen.
- I'd lie in bed
and I would picture myself running up
my favorite mountain trail
and I would feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks.
I would feel the cool wind coming through my hair.
I would listen to my wife giggling behind me
and encouraging me up to the top of the hill.
And I'd get to the top feeling strong and energized
and grateful and I would celebrate.
[cheers and applause]
- I think everybody needs a compelling future.
What I mean by that is, you can deal with any today,
as long as you got a compelling tomorrow to get you through.
She focused on the outcome, not on the process.
The process can be painful, but the outcome, seeing it
and creating it the same way
she did everywhere else in her life.
- If you walk into the room
positive about the treatment that you're getting
and believing that it's gonna cure you
and, you know, putting that energy into it,
it will make that day much better.
- I've got my beautiful wife
and our home to remind me of what I get to come
home to soon, I hope.
- But I've seen a lot of people that were super positive
and did everything the right way
and, you know, they still didn't make it.
- She is staring death in the face.
I thought this is just gonna be her opportunity
to take every lesson that she's learned through sport.
- Well, a good portion of this young lady's career,
she's had to play catch-up.
- Every lesson that she's learned as a coach.
- Get back on your bike and go. Come on.
- Every lesson that she's learned in her private life
and put it in place
and find the strength each day to pull herself up.
- How does that work?
So it just pushes... - Give it a nice little push.
Now twist. Push, twist. There you go. Good job.
- But only three. - I know.
- After the first month of treatment,
we knew she was almost in that complete remission,
and by two months of treatment we were there.
- So I finished cycle one of Dr. Pollyea's clinical trial.
- So you know what that means?
It means that my wife is in remission.
- The critical thing there is, all right, you're in remission.
How are you gonna get cured?
- If we did nothing more,
with near certainty, the disease would be back.
- The plan is usually a bone marrow transplant to cure you.
- Any patient who's diagnosed with leukemia
and is facing a transplant has their own incredible story
and their own difficulties.
- To all of you facing similar challenges, I'm with you.
And we got this. We're gonna get through this.
- Scarlet Callahan, such a ray of light.
You know, when I first met her, same diagnosis as Siri,
same clinical trial
- And also like Siri, required transplant.
Scarlet developed
one of the most significant complications
of transplant in a significant way,
what we call acute graft versus host disease.
- The new cells that are in the body are seeing
the host cells as foreign and attacking them.
- And there were times when it wasn't clear
which way it was gonna go.
- For any of you that are
faced with something that is terrifying you
or bringing you to your knees, this is for you too.
I know that I have been so afraid at times
that I was stifled by my fear,
but I know that I made it through that.
- We cannot sugarcoat things for people.
They must know what they're up against.
I mean, people who volunteer for clinical trials are
just incredible people.
- They know they're making a difference for other patients
just by being in that trial.
You know, the results of what happens to them
could help somebody else.
- We are trying to answer a question
we don't know the answer to yet.
These are the people who are helping us find that answer.
- We really pray to God I can have my transplant
and that transplant is going to be what saves my life.
My mission is to get through this
and to see you on the other side.
- The chemo that they get before transplant
is five days of just hardcore chemo.
That's what makes them so sick.
- We need to literally bomb your system to get rid of
all your past system to make room for the new cells.
- And then that's when they lose their hair,
facial hair, everything.
- I had this fear that
Bek loved me because I was a world champion.
I was strong, I was a great coach, I was out doing things.
I was out making a difference in the world.
I was working out every day.
I was strong
and I was overcoming, you know, daily challenges
with fierceness.
And as I started getting weaker
and sicker, I wasn't out kicking ass.
I wasn't out coaching. I wasn't out achieving.
I wasn't out doing all these things that I thought
were the reasons why she fell in love with me.
And I thought, how could she possibly wanna stick
around through this?
I'm losing my hair. I'm losing weight.
I'm sick all the time. I'm throwing up.
I'm in the hospital with machines.
Who wants to go through this?
[laughs]
Doesn't change.
It didn't change anything about her as a person.
I didn't even notice it.
I didn't really notice the physical changes.
I know she was weak, but she wasn't weak up here.
It actually made me love her even more
if that was even possible.
'Cause she just never gave up.
- ♪ Come on, baby ♪
♪ Let's get out of this town ♪
- Trees in the winter, they shed all their beautiful leaves.
- Look at this head.
So Siri's still...her hair's growing back already.
And I have to say, I've never seen anyone go through chemo
and have no hair, but still have eyebrows and eyelashes.
My wife has somehow managed to do that.
- I feel very grateful for that.
- ♪ You can sleep while I drive ♪
- How beautiful it is to let go
because it makes room for us to be able
to come back more beautiful than ever.
I mean, my mom, she slept in the hospital
every single night, and she assured me
that I was gonna make it through.
- I told Bek,
I can't live without her.
- ♪ Baby, you can sleep while I drive ♪
- I just thought that a broken heart can kill you,
and that would've... it would've broken my heart.
Yeah. - And then I started crying
and I said, I don't wanna live either.
And then we're just like, well, that's not gonna...
we both looked at each other and said,
that's not gonna happen.
And then that was it. We never talked about it again.
Today's the big day. She's getting her biopsies.
And we're praying that it comes back good
and that she can go into her transplant.
- One of the largest issues that we have
to sort out is who's going
to be the donor for the transplant?
[soft music]
You can't just use anybody.
They need to be matched.
♪ ♪
- Now, with my sister,
sometimes we're in contact, sometimes we're not.
So I was praying that when I asked her
if she would be my donor,
that she'd be open to hearing that.
- I never go to doctors or...
you know, I do not take the best of care of myself.
I just eat french fries, Taco Bell, lasagna.
I'm like, they're never gonna say that it's me
that can save her.
- The rules were, you need to not drink.
You need to try and eat healthier.
You need to take care of yourself
because we're using all your cells
to save Siri's life.
And she was all in, no question,
no doubt she was gonna save my life.
[Heavy Diamond Ring's "Finally"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ How long, how long ♪
♪ Have we been waiting here? ♪
♪ Arms are aching, eyes fill up with tears ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We've been working so hard ♪
♪ Lord knows how many years ♪
♪ It's fine with me ♪
- You can think of the donor cells
as being like a drug
that's more powerful than any drug we have.
- ♪ Finally ♪
♪ Finally ♪
♪ Finally we're going to be free ♪
- Watching those cells coming into my body was just...
I mean, you're watching your life come into you, you know?
[sighs]
And I'm feeling this great hope
that somehow, some way, this is gonna work.
- ♪ And an empty glass will fill ♪
♪ If we don't give up now ♪
♪ I know it will ♪
♪ Finally we're going to be free ♪
- This was the gift I'd waited for for a lifetime,
which is knowing that she's loved me all along.
Heading out today, really excited,
feel really grateful that I'm at this point.
I feel like we're done with...
- You're cured. Now you have to heal.
- I'm cured. Now I have to heal.
Is that right? I love that.
- I love that. - Is that right?
I love that. That's crazy.
- Yeah, baby! - So thank you.
- Whoo!
[cheering]
[exciting music]
- I am one of the lucky ones.
My sister gave me life.
[applause]
- When she first got the big bag full of the stem cells,
her hair turned black.
She's craving Taco Bell, begging my mom for french fries
and fettuccine Alfredo, things she would never, ever want.
And then I'm like, oh Jesus, she's probably gonna wake up
and wanna buy lottery tickets and vote for Trump.
- I came out to this lake every single morning
when I was healing and I would sit at the end of the dock
and I would close my eyes
and I would, in my mind, picture this moment.
And I was told the other day that typically with AML,
they can be diagnosed one day and dead in five weeks.
- The bell tolls for Siri Lindley
and it's ringing that she's gonna be the new world
champion if she keeps this up.
[bell ringing]
[cheering]
- I get diagnosed and everyone's rallying around me
and saying, okay, you need to get on this clinical trial.
And we're getting things started right away,
and literally right away, they started treating me.
- And once again, the big smile from Siri Lindley.
- I love you so much, baby.
- Siri Lindley just looks so comfortable
and so confident out front.
- If I didn't have that access, the insurance, my family,
my mom, my wife that could drive me back
and forth to the hospital every day,
would I have been gone in five weeks?
- And we can see just how confident Siri Lindley is.
Nothing's going wrong in this woman's life at the moment.
- I'm alive!
[cheers and applause] [screams]
Come on in, guys.
Every time when I would get super anxious
before my transplant, I would go out and be with the horses.
My heart rate would drop and I'd feel less anxious.
I'd feel a little less afraid.
So all I wanted to do when I got well enough
was to bring other cancer patients here.
- Scarlet had been really depressed
just because she didn't feel like she was gonna get better
or she couldn't see the path to how to get better.
- The opportunity to deal with what makes you uncomfortable.
- I thought, you know, if horses truly are healing
and Siri's involved there, that's a win-win.
We were told that all they were gonna do is just kind of
stand around in these paddocks in the barn area,
that the horses would come to them.
- A horse will choose you.
And it's clear why that horse chose you
and why that was meant to be your partner for the day.
- I was a little doubtful and I was
a little worried honestly.
I thought, oh gosh, what if somebody's
out there and nobody picks them?
It's like dodgeball.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- I'm gonna leave.
You guys stay here if you're connecting.
'Cause Maria, you're having quite a connection here.
- Well, I was kind of giving Siri the eye like, you know,
are they really gonna go to all these people?
- Everyone who hasn't made a connection yet, follow me.
- And I was getting a little worried
because little Scarlet was still standing there
without a horse.
♪ ♪
Of all the horses in that corral,
the horse Penny that chose Scarlet
had had the roughest journey to get there.
I can also tell you without doubt
that Scarlet had the hardest journey to get there as well.
- Can I tell you, Scarlet,
for the first month she was here,
she wouldn't let us touch her.
You look at these animals
and they've been discarded, they've been abused,
they've been neglected, and they've been hurt.
Now, we as humans have also had experiences
like that, okay?
And oftentimes we hold onto that resentment for a lifetime.
These guys show up and after one week
of being consistent about feeding them
and loving them and caring for them
and seeing them, they forgive.
They now have opened themselves up
to being loved deeply again, for being cared for,
for being able to enjoy life
and to not carry the burden of resentment.
- Horses, when you're near them,
they will guide you to how you feel.
They are majestic and they're wise
and it is the best therapy in the world.
- These are special creatures that have helped mankind
all through time.
- And we don't wake up, we don't think about
what we're grateful for, what we wanna create,
and we're thinking about, I feel sick, I feel weak,
I can't do this, I can't do that,
it sets you up to have a much tougher day.
You're in the fight,
and we are with you every step of the way.
[Allison Russell's "Nightflyer"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah, I'm a midnight rider ♪
♪ Stone bona fide night flyer ♪
♪ I'm an angel of the morning too ♪
- I noticed before the event, I was almost resisting it...
Because I knew it was gonna be really hard.
- ♪ I'm the melody and the space between ♪
♪ Every note the swallow sings ♪
- I went with my mom.
- ♪ I'm that crawling, dying thing ♪
- And then I saw Scarlet.
- ♪ The fire and the branch that's burning, Lord ♪
♪ Maybe you were sleeping, Lord ♪
♪ But Mary, she's not weeping no more, no ♪
♪ Mm, mm ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm a midnight rider ♪
♪ Stone bona fide night flyer ♪
♪ I'm an angel of the morning too ♪
♪ The promise that the dawn will bring you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm the sick light of a hurricane's eye ♪
♪ I'm a violent lullaby ♪
♪ I'm six fireflies, one streetlight ♪
♪ I'm a suffocating summer night ♪
♪ Mm ♪
- So I want you to think about what you want most in your life.
- ♪ I'm each of his steps on the stairway ♪
♪ I'm his shadow in the doorframe ♪
♪ I'm the tap, tap of a lunar moth ♪
♪ I'm the stale beer on his breath ♪
♪ Mm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ His soul is trapped in that room ♪
♪ But I crawled back in my mother's womb ♪
♪ Came back out with my gold and my greens ♪
♪ Now I see everything ♪
- There's a quote by Michelangelo.
I saw the angel in the marble
and I carved until I set her free.
- ♪ Nothing from the sea ♪
♪ Not a God Almighty thing ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm a midnight rider ♪
♪ Stone bona fide night flyer ♪
♪ I'm an angel of the morning too ♪
♪ The promise that the dawn will bring you ♪
- So today we are at UC Health,
the hospital that saved Siri's life,
and we're here for Siri's five-year celebration checkup
where they will consider her cured
once she gets all her results.
So... - Praying.
- This is five years... that she's going to get
the result to say that she's cured, so...
- There? - Yeah, yeah. Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
Poke.
Right in. - She's the queen.
- You're amazing.
- And then I'll send these off and we'll get
the results in as soon as possible.
- Okay. Thank you so much.
- Of course. - Thank you.
- There is a gift in something like this.
There's always a gift in something this terrible.
- Have a hug. Good to see you.
- Oh my goodness.
- Oh my God, I love you.
I have a little present for you.
- Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Wow. Wow.
That is so nice of you.
- Come on. - And I know he's a hugger.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Oh my goodness.
- Good to see you. You're doing great.
Your blood counts look great. I don't know.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I told... - She told me
because I was freaking out. - Yeah.
- That's the end of the appointment.
[laughter] - Yay!
- Really? - Yeah, no, they look great.
Unfortunately in this world, nothing is a hundred percent.
But when we see people five years out, we sort of
start to feel really confident that it's not ever coming back.
We're in good shape. - [laughs]
- ♪ Yeah, I'm a midnight rider ♪
♪ Stone bona fide night flyer ♪
♪ I'm an angel of the morning too ♪
♪ The promise that the dawn will bring you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ ♪