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Here comes the drop!
Here it comes…
A WOMAN WITH NO FILTER
I'm late!
- Honey? - Hmm?
You forgot to pay the gas bill again?
Oh my God, I forgot. But don't worry, I'll pay it online today.
Online, how? The internet is out too. You should have called the company by now.
Just go, babe. Everything will be taken care of by the time you're back.
You're just getting home?
Thanks.
Ouch! What the heck, man?
Good morning, Bia.
Good morning, Laura.
Laura, I'm glad I ran into you.
I didn't sleep all night with that noise.
Oh my…
Right. I'll tell you what not sleeping really means, Bia.
My oldest, Rafaelinha, breastfed until she was two.
She nursed on demand. My boobs would even bleed.
Ever had cracked nipples? Pus coming out of them? I don't think so.
When Rafaelinha was weaned, Bernardo had already come along
and started having night terrors.
Fear of what? No idea.
But he would wake me up like 200 times a night.
I didn't sleep for six years, Bia.
Now that's what I call not sleeping.
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be.
I've just discovered this wonderful thing called joint custody.
I get half the week off.
I see.
But I don't, Laura. I really don't.
So can you keep it down?
Don't worry, okay?
I'm off to get my kids now, and I'll have them until tomorrow.
So the next party won't be until…
The day after tomorrow.
Right.
Let me through?
I'll be there in five!
We were due to meet first thing today. My day's packed, Bia.
I know. I'm close.
Forty-five.
Who parked in my spot?
RESERVED PARKING
I need you to book a courier… The longest five minutes ever, huh?
- So… - Come take a pic over there.
- Morning, everyone. - Let's use this background…
Hold on… Here!
- Excuse me. - Stay put here.
Excuse me. Pedro Paulo?
Someone parked in my spot. Do you…
Bia, getting stuck in traffic is for those who are stuck in life.
Do you know who said that?
- No. - Me.
Let's take one here.
Pedro Paulo, are you listening? I said someone parked in my spot.
I am. Let's talk about it. Have a seat.
Who messed with this?
Bia, how would you define Mina+?
It's a website for women.
- No. - A digital magazine for women?
That's too obvious, Bia.
Let me rephrase it.
The world has changed these past few years, right?
Have we kept up with it?
Absolutely, Pepê. Of course we have.
We're getting more and more inclusive with our covers.
And we quit those silly articles, like "How to Get a Guy in Five Days."
I'll get straight to the point.
When was the last time you posted a Reel or a TikTok?
Not for Mina+, I mean on your account.
You have no social media presence, Bia!
Nowadays, only people who want to share their life online work in digital media.
For instance, do the readers of Mina+ know how many times you have sex in a week?
- And if you come? - Oh my God…
They don't know! How could they?
No--
I'm sorry, Pedro Paulo.
My job is to come up with great pieces, not to become the piece.
- I create content, I'm not the content. - Digging your own hole.
Do you hear yourself? "I'm not the content."
You don't believe in yourself, Bia!
I'm sorry, but you're not making any sense right now.
You'll understand.
- Have you heard of Paloma Diniz? - The blogger?
- You mean, Brazil's biggest influencer? - I know who she is.
I'd give her a simple piece, but not a cover.
Well, she's here. Right there.
She's showing the place to her followers. This will be great for the magazine.
What is she saying?
So that's it, guys!
That's the big news. I'm the new Content CEO at Mina+.
Check out the team!
This is Bia, she works for me.
Now, I'll show you our amazing coffee corner.
She's amazing.
Hold on. Pepê?
Are you firing me?
No, of course not.
After all, you know
it takes both the old and the new for a magazine to work.
I'm not firing you. Paloma is your new supervisor.
Supervisor? What do you mean?
Pedro Paulo, you've always said there was no position above mine.
Paloma has 50 million followers. How many do you have?
I have 100. No, 96.
I lost four when you tagged me in a picture.
- Me? - Sorry. I was recording a video.
Bia, it's a pleasure.
I'm Paloma.
I'm your fan since I was a kid.
I really admire your work.
Oh my, I'm so thrilled.
All right! Let's celebrate!
Paloma, could you please get everyone for a group photo?
- Sure! - An official photo for your Instagram.
- Let's post it! - It should go viral, huh?
Bia, could you get the other staff?
The people from Finance, and the fat lady from Reception.
You know they'll complain if they're not in the company photo.
Cool, thanks.
Oh, Dad…
You died at the right time.
Knock, knock.
Don't be mad at me, okay? I've also just found out about it.
Ugh, seriously.
What's the point of the magazine being progressive, modern, and inclusive,
if Pedro Paulo keeps hiring basic, standard women, you know?
Seriously, Gabriel. She posts makeup tutorials.
I honestly prefer women without makeup.
Naturally beautiful. Like you.
He always said there was no one above me, and that's why I couldn't get promoted.
Just relax. What Pepê really needs is an investor partner.
Nowadays, even bankers don't earn as much as these internet businesswomen.
Internet businesswoman? Please, Gabriel.
She's just a makeup blogger, okay?
On another note…
I honestly don't know what to get you for your wedding.
I mean, I checked your fiancée Valentina's wish list,
and there's a trash can that costs 1,000 reais.
Valentina's got her quirks, but she's a nice person.
- Is she? - Hey.
There's more! That clueless girl took my parking spot.
Look, Bia, I think… Actually, never mind.
- What is it? Tell me. - Okay.
I don't like it when you get mad because you lose your best feature,
which is being this calm, serene, chill and balanced woman.
Aha!
- Found you, mister. - Look who's here!
- Hey, Bia. How are you? - Good, Valentina. You?
- Love the outfit. - Thanks.
I love your office. It's gorgeous and spacious, huh?
- Right. - Should we go, honey?
Yes. Honey, before I forget… You're wearing underwear, right?
- Sorry. - Valentina.
We're going to the tailor.
And he picked the most expensive. You act more like a bride than I do.
I don't know what's worse, no underwear, or those grandpa boxers,
like my husband's.
So what? I wear them too, okay?
Go ahead, laugh all you want.
If men could let women laugh at them, the world would be a better place, okay?
But not too much, right?
Gabriel always complains if a woman laughs too loud at the movies.
- Really? - Yeah.
But to be fair, it's annoying.
Let's go?
Let's go.
Bye, Bia. We're late.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Hey. - Yeah, I'll think about it.
I will.
PARKING CITATION CITY HALL
Hello. My name is Edna Souza. How can I help you?
Hi, Edna, good afternoon.
I put in a request for a technical visit a few days ago, but no one's shown up.
Could you check what's going on?
Edna?
Hello! Welcome to Brazil's leading telecom provider.
We appreciate your call. Please enter your customer ID.
Three, four. That's great.
Pedro Paulo said he's the boss.
I've been in the same position, earning the same salary, for ten years.
And now, he hires this girl.
Roberta? Are you listening to what I'm saying?
Sorry. I'm going through a rough patch, you know?
Tiago's on a dating app. Do you know what that means?
That he has a phone? That he's single?
It means I'm on that same app, and he didn't match with me.
There will be no comeback, no flashback, no throwback, nothing.
You're on a dating app?
Listen to this voice note.
Roberta, we're not talking…
See?
…so stop calling my grandma.
It's been six months. Please.
What a jerk! Keeping me from my best friends.
Men are all the same.
Since when is his grandma your best friend, Roberta?
She is. We talk every day, share recipes…
Roberta, can you listen to me for a moment?
I can't--
- Ew! - What happened?
- Gross! Don't look! - What happened? Oh my God!
- Ew! - Unlock it. I wanna see it.
- Is it a post? - Gross.
- What happened? - Hold on.
Didn't he say he sent you the pic by accident, honey?
I'm not sure, honey. You know your son loves messing with me.
And even if it was by accident, he's sending nudes around, you know?
He's underage. That's not okay.
It's a different generation, Bia. Try to understand.
He meant it for his girlfriend, but sent it to you. Relax.
Bia, editorial meeting.
And now you can't use traffic as an excuse. Come.
I have a suggestion: three big stories, and two smaller ones for this next issue.
We should discuss maternal exhaustion and loneliness.
There's also a test run with serums for vibrators--
Firstly, I'd like to start this meeting by saying two things.
Go ahead, shine bright. There she is. The meeting's all yours.
Sorry, start the meeting?
- I was talking… - Hold on, Bia.
I want to start by saying it's an honor to be here with you.
I bought magazines as a kid and teen, back when they were printed.
Remember?
I'm not that young.
And whose name was always there, at the top of the biggest stories?
Yours, Bia.
So honestly, it's an honor to be here with you.
Thank you so much, Paloma.
Well, that said, and with all due respect,
I think what you're saying is a bit too 21st century.
Right. Especially since we don't know if there will be a next century.
Tell me, you're great with makeup, but what about magazines?
You know, Bia,
print circulation has dropped 57% in the last five years.
And you think you're geniuses for having a digital magazine.
But the truth is, since 2021, it's been declining by 21 to 26% a year.
Why is that?
Just take a look at the subscribers of Mina+.
Young, upper middle class, 25 and up,
all college-educated, but not academic types.
And they care just enough about making the world a better place.
But just enough.
So, if you want to talk about a polar bear crying
over the end of the planet, it can't be a long and boring article.
It has to come from a human, relatable angle.
A short, impactful video.
And then, right after that, a piece on the most sexual zodiac signs
to help ease the anxiety, you know?
Moving on.
The pieces I'm suggesting are highly effective, especially on Instagram.
This is how it works.
Do you want to interview Fê Nobre on open relationships?
I do.
- Just ask her for a quote. - Me?
No need to waste time with a two-page interview.
Just throw a line of text on top of a three-second Reel
where Fê Nobre kisses her husband, and he turns and kisses another woman.
There you go. Three seconds of video.
Not five pages of long, boring, endless blah blah blah.
- Write that down. - True.
- It's a trend. - Right.
"Infotainment." Information and entertainment.
But we're still a digital magazine with actual content, right?
Our audience is made of smart women.
What audience?
Pedro Paulo said if we're in the red two more months, we're done.
- What do you mean? - Done?
I'm sorry, I…
- No way. - I said that?
- You did. - Shit.
I'm sorry, Bia.
I can only imagine how hard all this must be for you, but…
I say this with love, okay?
I'm here to support you.
Exactly. Paloma's our target audience. We should listen to her.
Sorry, guys. I'm…
I don't know. I'm not well. I'm feeling kind of sick.
I need a deep breath. My blood pressure's dropping.
- Bia! - Oh my!
- Hey! - Oh my God!
Bia, talk to me.
- Bia? - Bia.
- Hey. - Jeez, that scared me.
Are you okay? Bia?
No…
No, I'm not okay. I need…
Let's…
- Hold on. - You need some fresh air.
Excuse me. Sorry, guys.
I'll go… Bia?
- Get her some water. - I'll do that.
- It'll be deducted from her pay. - Hold on.
Age seems to be catching up with her.
She needs a doctor.
So? How are you doing?
I feel awful.
I think I need to schedule a check-up, you know?
I've been feeling weird lately.
Headaches, chest pain, shortness of breath…
a random urge to cry.
My teenage crush is getting married. Is that why I'm feeling like this?
- Hey. No. - Is it?
You're still young.
And I didn't like this "teenage crush" thing.
I might not be an artist like Antônio, but I have my charm.
Yeah, and I'm not classy like Valentina.
And I fainted at work.
Wow, what a pair we make.
What a pair.
Yeah…
Let's get out of here, or they'll think we're hooking up.
Come.
- It's good to breathe. - It is.
Gabriel, would you excuse us? I wanna talk to Bia.
Of course.
- Thanks. - Excuse me.
Hey, Paloma. Sorry for walking out of the meeting like that.
But I'm feeling better now.
We can resume the meeting if you want. I'll gather everyone and…
Please, don't record me.
That's not it. Check your phone. I just sent you the location.
I booked you an appointment with Goddess Pussy.
Goddess Pussy?
I know you hate having a silly makeup influencer
as your supervisor ordering you around.
But I'm ordering you to go, okay?
I never said that.
But you do think that all I know is makeup.
Do you ever watch my videos with sound? You should.
Might help you see what Gabriel's doing to you.
Gabriel?
What is Gabriel doing to me?
Girls, spotting a sexist guy is easy.
But what about the brocialist?
Can you recognize the toxicity of that sweet man
who seems like the perfect catch?
That one you've never gotten over, but who only makes you miserable.
He loves feminism, knows all the right terms.
But somehow they always work in his favor.
He calls himself a self-aware man
and likes to apologize to all women on behalf of himself and all men.
He loves your laugh.
But don't laugh too loud, it's not ladylike.
He says you're beautiful. "Do you really need that much makeup?"
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Tommy
Happy birthday to you
- Hooray Tommy! - Hooray!
All right, let's blow them. One, two, three…
No, sweetie, blow them!
Blow them, you silly boy. He doesn't know how to…
Here we go, I'll help you. One, two, three…
There you go! Yay!
Hey, sis. Don't feel bad for not having a fur baby.
Is that why you're upset?
No, of course not.
Did you forget I have a stepson? But he's an untamable fur animal.
Honey, do you mind if I leave earlier?
I barely slept last night, and I had a terrible day at the office.
Tough day, sis?
- Very. - Wanna talk about it?
You know I'm here for whatever you need.
I know. But not today, okay?
I don't want to ruin this special moment.
And I know I can count on you for anything, right, sis?
Pretty, cutie!
What do you want, cutie?
I just need a favor.
Nothing big. I'm traveling to speak at a conference.
It's only for two days. And I wanted you to take care of Tommy.
- Sure, I will. - Great. Thank you.
When can I pick him up?
You can't pick him up. Tommy needs to stay here.
Why?
Because he gets super stressed in the car. It's really bad.
But, honey, that makes it hard for me. I can't stay here babysitting Tommy.
You can't?
No, there's no… I'll…
- You can't. - I'll stay.
Really?
- Really. - Thank you, honey.
I love you.
Let me tell you about his meds.
Tommy has a few things you need to stay on top of.
He's got a thyroid issue, so he needs this pill.
And I've noticed his bowels have been a little slow,
so he needs this teeny suppository.
He needs a suppository?
Don't look now. There are also the flower drops…
They're not answering? Again?
- Unbelievable. - That's Mrs. Bia!
Hi there! Are you Mrs. Bia?
The one who called us 83 times saying no one came to fix the internet?
- It's a pleasure. - Finally, huh?
- My internet's been down for ten days. - I should say finally.
It's the seventh time I've come here, right?
What? My husband said no one showed up.
Mrs. Bia, we called, but he never answered.
What is it? Are you okay, ma'am?
- Is everything okay? - I'm fine.
I'll be fine. Come with me, please.
What happened here?
So, my husband forgot to pay the bill, and they cut off the internet.
I paid already, but still nothing.
No, I mean your heart racing.
Those dark circles. You look miserable, ma'am.
There's a vein popping on your neck.
Look, I hate meddling in people's lives, so forgive me.
But my life only started moving forward…
How can I put this?
When a certain woman stepped into my life.
No, I'm fine. Everything's okay. Thanks for asking.
Have you ever heard of Goddess Pussy?
Goddess Pussy?
You too? It's the second time I've heard this.
Sure you did.
When we are in need,
Goddess Pussy finds a way to reach out to us.
All right. Your internet's back-up and running.
Please check it and let me know.
That's beautiful.
Oh dear Lord.
- Sorry. - It's fine.
It's been so long since anyone fixed anything for me.
I know.
But look,
when you mess with a woman's internet, you mess with all of us, ma'am.
Sign on the X.
Honey?
Okay, go ahead.
The internet lady's been here several times, Antônio.
You must pay more attention to the doorbell and the intercom.
- Did you get groceries? - No.
I don't get it.
You would if you were an artist, Bia.
I'm in my creative flow, I can't get distracted.
If you want an assistant, hire one. I'm your husband.
Now, check this out.
My creativity's finally coming back. Look.
I had such a hard day at the office today.
I've been going through so much.
- I even felt sick today-- - Bibinha, please.
I'm at the peak of my work here. Let's talk about this later.
Please.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
I…
I came without an appointment.
I really need to see the doctor. Could you please get him?
He's out of town.
What do you mean, he's out of town?
He left without telling his patients? How could he?
He needed a break.
Look…
I need a controlled prescription. Can you give me one?
Unfortunately, I can't.
But I really need a specific medication. Can't you just give me one prescription?
It needs the doctor's stamp.
And his signature too, right?
Right.
Just one?
Unfortunately, I can't.
All right.
Ouch!
GODDESS PUSSY
No way.
This place keeps finding me.
Welcome, Bia.
Welcome.
Hi.
Wow… I'm really feeling special.
How do you know my name?
It's the name on the appointment, isn't it?
- Sure. - Yeah.
That's right.
How are you feeling?
Well, I…
Let me hug you.
I'll take care of you. Come.
- Make yourself comfortable. - Thank you.
Have a seat.
So… What actually happens here?
- Tight shoulders. - Yeah.
Tight shoulders mean a lack of self-compassion.
Brings on heart palpitations and chest pain.
Lower back's inflamed.
This means trouble moving forward and saying what you really think.
Your abdomen's bloated. Haven't you been using the bathroom?
- No. - I see.
Not going to the bathroom means you're having a hard time
letting go of what's bad for you.
It's all stuck here.
Dark circles.
Dry breath.
Dark circles mean insomnia.
You can't sleep well when you're swallowing so much crap.
Your root chakra is sick.
It's that crying in the shower you can't explain.
A nodule near your belly button,
a nodule in the groin…
Looks like you haven't had a decent orgasm in…
eleven months, eight days, and five hours.
That long?
But I'm going to fix that.
Goddess Pussy…
Total scam.
HURRY, YOU'RE ALWAYS LATE!!!
My phone!
He took my phone!
My phone! Somebody, please help me!
He took my phone!
Are you nuts, man? Give me back my phone!
Give me back my phone, man!
- You stole my phone! - Wait!
- Then give it back! - Ow! Lady, stop it!
I'm calling the cops on you!
Give me my phone, I'll call!
- Give me my phone! - I'm sorry!
Here it is! Here's your phone.
Wow! Amazing!
- Got a minute? - What the heck, Bia?
My parking spot. I want it back.
Your parking spot was my welcome gift to Paloma.
And that's final. Besides, walking is good.
It'll help you lose weight.
Then why didn't you give her yours?
- You're being selfish. - Am I?
Yes, you are.
But if this is such a huge issue for you, I'll find a fair solution.
- Great. - So Paloma doesn't feel like a fool.
- Feel like a fool? - Yeah.
- I feel like a fool here, Pedro Paulo. - Why?
Because there was no position above mine.
Except for yours, the owner of the magazine.
And now, you give my parking spot to that girl!
No!
This is Goddess Pussy's doing. I know it.
- Your life is flirting with these women. - No. What are you talking about?
I'm the one doing your job, Pedro Paulo.
For years. And my salary is the same.
Not on me. You know the online magazine market…
I don't. Tell me.
…is not exactly thriving.
Oh yeah? Is that why you bought a BMW?
No, the BMW is a personal sacrifice
that I'm making.
Because you know, in this industry,
the most important thing is to project an image of success.
And I have to do that.
Do you think it's easy managing people with everyone watching?
Do you think I like it? I don't.
You're laughing, but I do it for the company,
for all of you, and for you.
- Managing? - Yeah, managing.
- So what? - Pedro Paulo…
Your life is eating out at overpriced restaurants
with people just as pathetic as you.
Wait a second.
The only managing you do is with the food you eat.
- Right, Mr. Belly? - Wait. Stop it!
Like, let's be real here. Right, Mr. Trust Fund Baby?
- Daddy's little heir. - So?
- It's not my fault. - Inherited all your money.
And I worked hard for my dad's company.
Your dad's the one who worked hard. May he rest in peace!
Don't talk about him.
Actually, not sure if he should rest in peace.
If he raised a disaster like you, he was probably just as sexist and dumb.
Let's be real. You studied Business because you had no clue what to do, right?
I was just a kid. I was 35.
I've been saving your ass with sponsors for years!
You don't respect anyone. You're pathetic!
- You're-- - No! Calm down!
Calm down.
I know what's going on here.
Are you PMSing?
- What? - I don't know… PMS.
Women get a little unhinged around this time.
Don't you all sync up? It's total madness.
I'm not having my period,
you moron!
Menopause?
I don't even know when menopause starts.
Why are you doing this? Wait, come back.
- Are you leaving? - I am.
- Why? - I'm leaving.
Good luck, Pedro Paulo,
at being the ageist, misogynist, and sexist owner
of a magazine for feminist women.
Hilarious! You'll go bankrupt in one week.
Wait, you're throwing--
One week!
We've just witnessed a major drama here at Mina+!
I said I don't want to be filmed!
- What an attitude! Wonderful. - Yeah?
You went there, didn't you? She's amazing!
Girl, leave me alone! Recording everything is so last decade, isn't it?
Congrats, Bia. You passed the test.
What test? I don't get what you say.
And you know what? I don't care.
What?
Amazing.
What have I done?
Bia, what happened?
What happened, Gabriel? I'm done.
I'm done with YouTubers, with hashtaggers, with influencers, with…
I'm done bending over backwards trying to make stupid people happy!
Breathe. You're having an anxiety attack.
- Don't touch me! - What's going on?
What's going on? I've got bills to pay, Gabriel!
I have a lazy husband who doesn't lift a finger,
a sister who talks like a toddler when she needs a favor,
a jerk boss who hasn't given me a raise in a decade!
- And you. - Me?
Yeah, you, who neither fucks me nor leaves me alone.
You're the one who dumped me.
We were teenagers.
I gave you a thousand chances,
but you say you're not into independent women, right, Gabriel?
Then why did I feel something here when we hugged?
Bia!
What's going on? You've never-- Why are you saying these things?
Because it's the truth, Gabriel.
And the truth isn't always classy, polished, and coy like Valentina, okay?
It's the truth.
But whatever's left of the patriarchy in a man's heart
will always choose a Valentina to marry.
What makes you think Valentina is so coy?
Valentina is just a sweet, polite, and kind woman.
Hi, sweetheart.
Is that how you see me? A sweet, polite and kind woman.
So do I. Sweet, polite, and kind.
Funny, Bia. That's how I see you too.
Actually, that's exactly how Gabriel described you
when I was having a meltdown
because he doesn't pick up after himself.
And he said, "You should be more sweet, polite, and kind like Bia."
"She lives in harmony with her husband."
I'm done, okay? Done!
I'm done trying to understand and help you! I'm done!
Hi.
Why are you following me?
Because I want to know why you won't let me through.
And why should I?
It's called common courtesy.
I don't give a shit about common courtesy, you idiot.
And if you don't want me blocking your way,
leave your fucking house earlier.
And get out of here before I wreck your face.
What's your fucking problem?
My problem is that I need to look at your shitty face
and let you know you're a miserable fucker.
Neither your parents nor your friends can stand you.
You can't even stand yourself.
So you go around polluting the air with your shitty face,
thinking a tacky, shitty car makes you better than everyone else.
But no. You're just a pile of shit.
People don't want your jewelry, your house, or your rich, shitty face.
They just want to get to work and home. Because they do have a life.
Unlike you, who thinks you have a life but are just a pathetic piece of shit.
I don't know what that Goddess Pussy did to me.
I'm fine, but if someone triggers me, I turn into The Hulk.
Just be careful, okay?
I checked her social media, and she has no followers.
I've done things I never thought I could.
And there I was, at Pedro Paulo's office telling him everything I was feeling,
everything that came to mind right there.
Can you imagine me making a scene?
You know I can't make a scene, right?
- Roberta! - Yes! I'm sorry.
Tiago threatened to block me, and he did.
- What a jerk! - Girl, please. Listen.
Can you look me in the eye while we're talking? Huh?
- Roberta? - Yes.
- Are you listening? - I am. Go ahead.
- What did I just say? - Go ahead.
No. What did I just say, Roberta?
You must understand I'm also not okay. Give it back!
Give it back, Bia.
Listen, Roberta.
Every time I have a problem,
you can't look me in the eye.
You're always focused on your own issues, you know?
The truth is, Roberta, you only care about yourself.
Like you're the only one with problems,
the only one who feels lonely and needs a friend to vent to.
But listen up, Roberta.
No one can stand you.
You're so self-centered, spoiled, and selfish.
And what will you do? Leave? Or block me like Tiago did?
I'm such an idiot.
Perfect. And we're talking about you again.
Okay. Fine.
His grandma unblocked me. Is that a sign?
Stop…
Bia, please.
Bia!
Why did you do this? You know I'm still paying for that phone!
- Roberta! - I…
Next time we get together to talk,
listen to what I have to say.
Fuck!
Antônio, your son turned my living room into a war zone.
- Go talk to him now! - Let's celebrate.
My creativity's finally back.
- I'm talking to you. - I'm talking to you too.
Relax. You're way too tense.
Then help me relax by teaching your son some manners.
Okay. But see how amazing it is
when an artist's creativity finally flows back after five years.
Check it out.
Nice. You can go back to your painting later.
- But you didn't even look-- - Focus. I'm talking to you.
- Your son skipped school again. - So what? He's a young adult.
You never did that at his age?
Doing nothing is not doing something.
Doing nothing is contemplating life, Bia.
It's surrendering, letting go, and relaxing.
Not everything in life has to be tense, boring, and gray.
Just relax.
Got it. Relax, right?
- That's it. - You want me to relax?
- Sure. - I'll relax, then.
- There. - It's what you want.
- Please. - So I'll relax.
I'm gonna be so relaxed now. Wow.
I'm gonna turn into an animal, that's how relaxed I'll be.
An animal who can't pay bills, who can't go to the grocery store.
- I knew you'd do this. - An animal just like you.
Don't start, Bia. I'm the one who can complain.
Then go ahead, please.
Just look at how we used to be at the start.
We used to be close and have great sex all the time.
You were crazy about me.
And now you come in here talking to me like I'm your brother, your…
Son.
- I wasn't gonna say that. - Yeah, a son.
Only for a son would I take this crap.
But only until they're about four,
because by five, they're more helpful than you.
That's enough.
By three, they're painting better than you.
- What? - Whose art is three shitty lines.
What are you talking about? You know nothing about art.
I won't waste my time explaining that these are not shitty lines.
Okay? Behind these three shitty lines, there's a lot of pain, Bia.
Pain?
Pain.
Pain is what I feel right here, from carrying you on my back.
I've been paying the rent for a year
because you're uninspired and can't find a job.
This is my job.
And I still have to put up with your useless, miserable son living here!
His mother shipped him here because even she can't stand him.
And I'm done.
- What are you saying? - I'm saying…
Pay attention.
- Get out of this house now. - What?
And take that pain in the ass with you.
Don't… Nicolas, she didn't mean that.
Why talk to a kid like that?
Kid? Wasn't he a young adult?
- All I said is true! - Hey! Can we please calm down?
Let's calm down. We're not getting anywhere.
Enough. I know what's going on here.
I'm…
- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
Promise you won't be mad?
I'm already mad.
Promise not to be madder?
Just ask.
You have your period?
Why is it that every time a woman gets pissed,
men think she has her period?
- What a stupid idea. - It's not stupid, Bia.
We know how sensitive you get during this time. That's all.
Nothing absurd in that.
- Got it. Sensitive, right? - Right.
I get super sensitive, right? Sensitivity. Such a pretty word.
Sensitivity. Artists love using that word.
Well, let me show you, then.
- Let me show you. - Stop, Bia. I'm serious.
I'll show you my sensitivity.
- What's going on? - I'll show you.
Bia, this isn't funny. Stop, Bia!
- I'm so sensitive! - Bia! What the hell?
- Awesome! - What is this?
- I love being an artist! - Bia, please!
- This is my life! - I'll scribble all over your life!
Wow! Get ready, I'll throw you an art exhibition in two hours!
Bia! Stop!
My eyes, Bia!
Sensitive!
This apartment was dope, Dad.
She'll calm down. It's that time of the month.
I don't have my period!
- Let's go before she throws stuff. - Okay.
BLESSED BY THE GODDESS
Did you bring the ice?
What ice? I wanna talk to Laura.
You mean DJ Laurex?
Yeah, the DJ! That's right, the DJ!
Wait. Didn't you trip over me the other day?
Excuse me. Let me through.
Laura!
Excuse me.
Excuse me, lady. Hey!
Hey, Laura!
LOGIN: BIASPLACE PASSWORD: BIA1234
No wonder it's so slow.
Laura!
Take them off. I'm talking.
No lip-reading. Listen.
- Laura, I want to sleep. - What?
And I will sleep tonight. Okay, Laura? Even if I have to do something drastic.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah!
Like what? Calling the cops?
What's up, fellas?
Or maybe call Mr. Fernando, the building manager?
There he is! That's right, Mr. Fernando!
Or what? Call Hélio, the doorman?
Watch out, Hélio! Last time I had to carry you!
Or Rosane, the assistant manager? It seems her mouth's kinda busy right now.
I can see that, Laura.
But listen, I'm… feeling really weird.
I'm scared of myself. So… turn the music down now.
Here comes the drop! Here it comes…
Laura!
MOMMY'S ON FIRE AND THIS PARTY'S LIT!
- Jeez, what a psycho! It's just a party! - Chill, lady!
"It's just a party."
- What? - Go home, bitter lady!
What? Seriously.
Excuse me.
The music is back on!
Excuse me.
ETHYL ALCOHOL
Brought the ice?
I brought something better.
What's that?
No! What the heck, Bia? For God's sake, it isn't paid for yet!
What the heck, Bia?
Bia, no!
Bia, I'll turn it down. It's down, it's super low.
No!
- For God's sake, Bia! - Go home, you lunatic!
Hey, everyone. Time to leave.
Party's over. Can you take this? Do you want a sip?
What, sweetie? Hey, don't threaten me.
Check this out.
Your guests are upset.
Hurry, guys! It's over! Didn't you understand?
- Seriously? - I need to find my phone.
Laura.
- Put that down. - What?
No!
This?
- No. - You didn't like this?
- Let's see. - Put that out.
Let's see.
- Put it out. - Laura, honey…
Threatening a home with a mother and two kids?
A family home, you know, girl?
Oh, man.
Go to bed. That's it.
Because tomorrow you've got that ugly-ass hair bun to do. Okay?
Ouch!
The cat!
SISTER BÁRBARA HI, SIS!
MISSED CALL SISTER BÁRBARA
MISSED CALL GABRIEL
SISTER BÁRBARA MISSING TOMMY SO MUCH!
GABRIEL CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN
SISTER BÁRBARA BIA, WE NEED TO TALK ASAP
SISTER BÁRBARA I'M ALMOST HOME
SISTER BÁRBARA WHERE ARE YOU?
Tommy?
Come here, kitty.
Where's that cat? Come here.
Hey! Tommy?
Come.
Hey, Tommy.
Here, you lazy boy.
No.
No, damn it.
No…
Damn it.
Sis, what a surprise!
The surprise's on me. You got back fast.
How's my baby boy? Did you miss Mommy, my love?
Tell me, how was the trip?
It was good. Let me see my baby boy.
This little guy missed you a lot.
Let me hold him.
Sis, you must be tired. Go take a shower, unpack.
You can get him after that.
I am tired. But let me get one little sniff of his neck.
That's not even a thing on cats. You know that.
He likes being in my arms. Just let him stay with me a little longer.
- Give me my cat, Bia. - Is Porto Alegre nice? Cold? Hot?
I've never been there. Do people look good?
Just give me my cat already! Stop acting crazy.
Come here, my baby, my Tommy, my love.
Tommy?
Wait… Tommy?
- Tommy? - I'm sorry, sis.
I found him like this.
Like this how?
- What did you do to him? - I didn't do anything…
Tommy's dead?
- Did you give him his meds? - I forgot.
You forgot to give him his meds?
If you couldn't watch him, why not say so? I'd have asked someone else.
Someone else? I've been handling your problems my whole life.
So Tommy's a problem?
- You know it's hard to say no to you. - Better to say yes and kill Tommy?
What? I didn't kill--
Look, I screwed up, okay? I didn't give him the meds.
But come on, it's just a cat, not a child.
What did you say?
I'm sorry.
I know you think I'm pathetic. But not everyone has your perfect life.
Not everyone has a handsome artist for a husband,
works at a magazine, or is pretty.
Sorry if I'm just someone who has… a pet.
- That's not what I meant. - What did you mean, then?
You know what?
You really are pathetic.
Look at your place.
Covered in this cat's photos. A cat wearing clothes, dressing up.
A cat is a cat! People are people!
Fuck's sake, your cat was old and died. It's not the end of the world!
Crap. I'm sorry.
I'm so confused. I don't even know what I'm saying.
- I'm sorry. - How dare you say that to me?
I'm your sister.
You've always known I prefer animals to people. You know why?
Because people are cruel.
- I just didn't expect you'd be… - A person.
Finally.
Yeah.
That's it, I'm a person. I'm…
Do you know how many years I spent
forcing myself to be this sweet, cute, smart, and kind little robot?
I didn't get shit out of it.
Actually, I did get a deadbeat husband, an asshole of a boss,
a one-way friendship.
You, the pet mom.
I'm sorry.
- Get out of my house. - I didn't mean that. I'm sorry.
Get out of my sight!
Leave!
Bia?
Is everything okay?
No.
I need you to undo whatever it is you did to me.
But I didn't do anything. It was all you.
No way. I'm not this person.
Why did that massage have this effect?
I don't go around offending and lashing out at people.
Some people, out of fear,
hide their softer, more human, more peaceful side.
But you, on the other hand, were close to getting ill
with all that anger, hate, and frustration you were bottling up.
I get it. Fine.
But I need my friends. I need my job.
I want to go back to swallowing it all.
That's how one survives in this world, and I want to live here.
That chest pain, is it gone?
It is.
That anxiety you felt, the insomnia, the palpitation,
the crying in the shower for no reason,
the chest pain, the body aches, the constipation,
the desperation for medication…
All gone?
Yeah, that's all gone.
Then why the complaints? You're cured.
No.
I'm hurting the people I love.
People can't handle the truth, Bia.
They're not ready for it.
But that's life. Next day, you apologize, and life moves on.
No.
I want to go back to how I was before.
That's hard, Bia. I can't do that.
I mean it, come on. I need you to fix whatever you did.
I didn't do anything.
You did this.
You created all this. And I'm sure you liked it, didn't you?
It depends.
So that's all you've got to say?
No. There's one more thing I want to say.
You are the priority.
You, Bia, are the priority.
Don't forget that.
WILL YOU ADOPT ME?
Sure.
Go ahead. You can go.
Who is it?
Hey, honey. It's me, your sister.
Sister? I don't have one.
Open up, please. I brought you a little something.
Unless it's my cat alive, I couldn't care less.
Bárbara, please. Open the door. Just for two minutes.
- Not gonna let me in? - No, out of respect for Tommy.
- What was that? - Well…
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I know he won't replace Tommy. But I just adopted him for you.
Dear Lord. You're such an asshole!
You think pets are like furniture. We get a new one, and it's fine.
No, I know it doesn't work like that. Just look at him.
There's no way I'm looking at this…
Oh my God! You're an evil bastard.
He's so cute!
Oh my God. Come here to Mommy.
I'm sorry, my baby. Oh my, I'm gonna love you so much.
Oh my God.
He's all cuddled up. Look at that.
He's so cute.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you that day.
I'm sorry about Tommy. I feel very guilty, I was an idiot.
I'm sorry. I love you, okay?
I need to tell you something. The vet came over…
According to him, Tommy had a heart attack due to being overweight.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
Yeah. So, it's partly my fault, but partly yours, since you weren't here.
True.
And about what you said,
you're still a terrible person, but you're my sister.
I'll always love you.
We'll always love you.
- I'm so glad. - But we're never going to Aunt Bia's.
- She's a monster! - Hey! That's a lie.
- It's true. - It's not.
- Wanna stay for a bit? - I can't.
I have something important to do.
- Okay? - Okay.
- I'll come back. - Okay.
Say bye to your auntie.
- Bye. - Bye, Auntie.
Hey, my sweetheart.
Really? Oh, that's great!
Just the person we were missing at our celebration.
Celebration?
- Yes. - I see no reason to celebrate, you know?
With Pedro Paulo running the magazine without me, it'll go bankrupt fast.
My advice? Run while you can.
Anyway, I'm here to resign. What do I need to sign?
A lot. There are tons of things for you to sign, but for your promotion.
You passed the test to become my business partner, Bia.
- Where's Pedro Paulo? - I bought the magazine and fired him.
No way.
What? That's impossible!
The investors are a bunch of old, sexist men.
How did you get them to back you?
All the girls at Mina+ went to see Goddess Pussy.
Then they filed complaints about him. After that, the board easily agreed.
So what do you say?
Are you in, or not?
Well, first of all, I'm honored by the offer
and honestly super embarrassed for judging you without even knowing you.
My mistake. I'm sorry.
But I think…
we see things really differently, you know?
No, Bia. I need a woman like you.
I need someone who believes in stories longer than two lines.
Someone who'll fight for an in-depth interview.
We make a good team, Bia.
Will you think about it?
Fine. I promise I'll think about it.
And about your videos…
with the sound on, they're actually amazing.
No! Wait!
- Please let me film this! - I knew it. No.
No, turn that off.
- Come on… - Paloma?
Can I have a word with Bia?
Excuse me.
Gabriel.
- What's up, Bia? - Hey. Hold on.
Let me apologize for the things I said the other day.
Not that I regret them, but my tone was way off.
I also want to say that I hope you and Valentina are really happy.
- All right. - And… Were you also fired?
No.
She said she's keeping me on the team, but she'll keep an eye on me.
Nice.
I like her more each day.
One more thing, Bia. Valentina said she wanted a break.
Which I actually loved. And I loved it because I was…
I'm confused, my head's all over the place.
Anyway… Have dinner with me tonight?
Gabriel, I don't…
I don't know.
I'm not a sweet woman, okay?
And I think there's no going back.
I kind of like being this way.
Even if it's messy, intense,
and even with all these…
different things and changes happening in my life, I…
I don't have that chest pain anymore.
And that…
is amazing.
I want you just the way you are, Bia. I always did.
I've never got over you.
I'll call you later.
- What is this? - Come here. Surprise.
Open the fridge.
Now, come here.
Put your hand here.
It's…
warm. I paid the bill. You don't have to worry anymore.
You'll cry from happiness now. Come to the living room.
Come see.
Come, Bia!
It's called, "Bia…"
"I love you."
Right.
And this red line is supposed to be some tribute to my period?
- No, Bia. I'm sorry, okay? - My PMS?
Let's start fresh? Because you also said some pretty harsh things I didn't forget.
- So, Antônio… - Don't! Hold on.
Last surprise. I promise.
Last step. Come here.
I made your favorite pasta. Puttanesca.
Shall we eat?
In peace, like old times.
That's delicious.
Who's the prettiest?
Did you like the pasta I made you?
I'm done.
Eat a little more. It's your favorite pasta.
I'm done with you.
I'm done with the pasta, I'm done with this life we've been living.
No, Bia.
- It's over, Antônio. - No, give me a chance. I can change.
I believe you.
I really do. People can change.
And it will be great for you, but in another relationship.
Because this can't go on. I…
I stopped loving you.
My love is gone.
Things end.
No. But things come back.
Things come back, Bia.
My creativity, for example, it was gone, but it did come back.
And it came back stronger, honey.
Things come back, Bia.
Trust me.
I never thought I'd say this.
But I'm even tired of that handsome face of yours.
Remember when we started dating?
We used to have sex all the time.
It was all so good.
Don't throw that away, Bia.
I remember the end of our marriage,
when we stopped having sex because things got so bad.
It's over.
- Wait. Where are you going? - Downstairs.
I'll hang out there so you have time
to wash the dishes, grab your stuff, and leave.
- Boo! - Oh, Mrs. Bia!
Listen, when Antônio leaves,
tell him he's never to set foot in this building again.
- Yes, ma'am. - Neither him nor his obnoxious son.
- Yes, ma'am. - Understood?
- Yes, ma'am. - Excellent. Great.
VALENTINA BIA, THIS IS VALENTINA.
CAN YOU COME DOWN SO WE CAN TALK?
- Hey. - Get in.
What's this, Valentina?
So, Bia. I came here because I wanted to apologize.
I think I've been a fake this whole time.
The truth is, I don't like you. And you've always known that.
And I've always known that you knew.
I just wanted to come here in person and tell you this.
All right, Valentina.
You don't like me. Fine. I can live with that. It's okay.
Open the door for me, please.
No. I can't.
Actually, there's more I want to say to you.
I want to say you're an arrogant bitch for judging me all this time.
Yes, my family used to have money. But they went broke.
And I bust my ass to pay for my brother's college and support my mom
while you look down on me, acting all superior.
Because you work at a magazine?
Damn, Valentina.
You saw Goddess Pussy.
How do you know?
It's all over your face.
From the outside, it's a beautiful thing to see.
I can't believe it. Bia, you saw her too?
Of course. How do you think I told Pedro Paulo the truth to his face?
- Damn! - That's insane!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for judging you.
- No… - Okay? I mean it, I'm sorry.
I like you.
You do?
I think I can live with that.
- Wow, Goddess Pussy. - Oh my…
- Don't men love when we hate each other? - Yeah.
Gabriel used to say I couldn't hate you
because strong emotions would leave wrinkles on my pretty face.
- He said that? - He did.
But has he tried to change my mind about you?
Exactly. Same with me.
Every time I told him you were a spoiled rich brat, a snob, a phony…
he never said otherwise.
Never once he told me you're hardworking and support your family.
And when I'd call you an arrogant bitch,
he would tell me not to swear, because it didn't suit me.
- It does suit you. - Yeah.
I mean it. You're great at swearing.
Man, it feels so good, doesn't it? Fuck, this is normal. Fuck!
Damn normal!
Yeah! "Damn" is soft.
- Let's level that up. - Right.
- Go for more powerful cuss words. - Okay.
So how are things between you two? I know you're taking a break.
We are?
Crazy. This is news to me, Bia.
Speaking of which.
I'M COMING OVER
What are you doing here?
How did you know I was here?
I installed a GPS in your car that pings my phone.
I worry about you leaving work so late every night.
I'm afraid you'd get mugged or something.
That's insane, Gabriel. Tracking her car? That's a crime.
Why did you tell Bia we were on a break?
Because I'm insecure, okay?
Because I'm sexist. Isn't that what you say?
But I love you two.
I do.
Is it a sin to have so much love?
Am I an asshole because I've got so much love to give?
It depends, Gabriel.
Will Valentina also be allowed to give all her love to others, like you do?
That would make things easier. Aren't you two giggling and bonding?
Why not have fun, the three of us?
We could sleep together, you know?
- What? - Why not?
- What the hell? - I'm in.
- Honey… - Go ahead!
I'll translate what Bia asked because you clearly didn't get it.
Honey, if I wanted to give all the love I have inside my vagina…
Valentina…
…to another man while you, Mr. Open-relationship,
tell Bia that we're on a break just so you can be with her,
would that be okay?
Or only you can, because you're the woke guy?
Valentina, why are you talking like that?
And if there were other guys involved, I'd obviously call off the wedding.
- No more party, no cake, no-- - Don't you worry, honey.
I'll do what women have been doing since my great-grandmother's time,
which is to make things easier for men.
It's over, Gabriel. There's no fucking wedding, no nothing.
It's over, okay?
- Valentina, come back… - You're amazing.
Valentina, stop it.
Simply amazing.
It used to be easier for white men.
Hey, want to split an Uber? I'm flat broke.
No, thanks. I'm not that desperate.
Good luck.
Hey, Bia, wait up.
Bia, come on.
You see?
You ended things with Antônio, I ended things with Valentina…
Don't you think now it's our time?
Don't you?
You broke up with Valentina?
Jeez, Gabriel.
How can you twist things up like that?
- That's not cool, you know? - I can't live without you two.
You can live without us just fine.
And one more thing. I almost forgot.
I'll accept Paloma's offer to be her partner.
So, starting now, sweetie,
you better learn how to live without your job too.
You're fired.
No, Bia. Come on, Bia. You don't have to do this!
You don't.
…revolutionary.
GODDESS PUSSY: LOVING YOURSELF IS REVOLUTIONARY
ROBERTA MUNHOZ REVEALS: DITCHED MY PHONE, FOUND MYSELF
GODDESS PUSSY
- I'm in. I'll be your partner. - Not a partner.
I want you to be the CEO, the boss, the VP, whatever the title is.
President? Madam President of this company.
Look, Bia, I've got money, and I've got great ideas.
True.
But I just bought three other companies nearly tanked by their male owners.
Oh, man.
And maybe it's your generation's thing, but I'm overwhelmed and need you.
You can count on me. But I need to ask you something first.
I won't interfere with your ideas and decisions.
And you have the highest salary.
No, it's something else.
I need a one-week vacation.
- Vacation, Bia? - Yeah.
No?
Vacation? This company's yours now. You do whatever you want with your life.
Think about it. Now, look.
Wanna go for a ride?
Is this Pedro Paulo's BMW key?
It's the key to your BMW.
Stop it.
Subtitle translation by: Anna Savian.