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‎[narrator sighs] Just look at her. ‎The very first Bride of the Year winner.
‎BEELD, WEDNESDAY, ‎1 FEBRUARY 1984
‎It's the biggest competition ‎for newlyweds in South Africa.
‎It's uniquely South African.
‎Young or old, any bride can participate ‎by entering her wedding photos.
‎And every month, one bride is chosen.
‎And at the end of the year ‎there's a fancy, fancy gala evening
‎where only one bride is crowned as…
‎Bride of the Year.
‎[sighs] To be a newlywed.
‎[sighs] When I was little, ‎that was my fairy tale.
‎Well, that, but actually ‎to be part of a family.
‎♪ ‎Here comes the bride ‎Here comes the bride‎ ♪
‎[church bell ringing]
‎-[narrator] My own, perfect family. ‎-[people cheering]
‎[sighs] Probably because I was raised ‎in an orphanage just opposite the church
‎where a wedding was celebrated ‎almost every weekend.
‎LINDEN ORPHANAGE
‎[person] Lienkie, come inside.
‎[Lienkie] ‎These two are my 'something old'.
‎The most beautiful bride ‎and the perfect… Oh. Oh.
‎Perfect…
‎[gasps]
‎The perfect--
‎[sighs] Okay!
‎The perfect bridegroom.
‎[inhales sharply] What do you think?
‎I think it's perfect, Lienks.
‎It's definitely the most beautiful cake ‎that you've ever baked.
‎Because this one is mine.
‎I must admit, I expected something ‎a bit more impressive, but it's nice.
‎Simple…
‎-like you. ‎-Uh, thanks…
‎-Mom? ‎-No.
‎-Norma. ‎-I have a few ideas around
‎where we might be able ‎to make you look good.
‎-Hmm. ‎-Come. Come and tell me what you think.
‎Can we please get ‎a photo of the wedding cake, though?
‎I baked it myself.
‎We're participating Bride of the Year, ‎not Cake of the Year.
‎-Martin. ‎-Mm-hmm?
‎I assume there's some way ‎we can hide those crow's feet of hers.
‎Don't worry. ‎She's not my first veteran bride.
‎[chuckles] Hold on.
‎[chuckles] Thirty-nine isn't that old.
‎Not if you're a tree.
‎-I'll put her here. ‎-Yes, it'll help for her nose. It's so…
‎-In your face, I know. ‎-Hmm.
‎Drink. You're gonna need it.
‎-[gasps] I've got it. ‎-Hmm?
‎Under the trees with the bridesmaids.
‎Where is Johannika?
‎[both click tongue]
‎You can slap me with a fish if I knew.
‎She's Zander's apprentice.
‎She's his PA. Very on top of things.
‎-Very. ‎-I see.
‎Fascinating.
‎Okay, context. What's the message ‎you want to convey to the judges?
‎Um…
‎That if you work hard enough,
‎you can also get the perfect family ‎you deserve,
‎even if it takes time.
‎-No. ‎-Mm-mmm.
‎[Norma] We want ‎to inspire people, Lienkie.
‎-"From children's home to family home." ‎-Hmm.
‎-My son is a true philanthropist. ‎-[Martin] Hmm.
‎Excuse me, Auntie Norma. I just need to ‎give little Zander here a fix.
‎Well, get a move on. ‎We don't want to lose the shade.
‎Okay, Willem Botha. ‎She's not the boss of us.
‎She is. Sort of.
‎I'm gonna need booze.
‎Lots and lots of…
‎…at 2:00 a.m., naked through the streets.
‎[laughing]
‎It's hard to believe ‎Zander's finally being tied down.
‎The party prince of Pretoria ‎is marrying Cinderella.
‎She's an orphan, dude.
‎I heard that Norma ‎gave her son an ultimatum,
‎get married or get disinherited.
‎[chuckles]
‎She was probably worried
‎that Lienkie was getting too old ‎to win that Bride of the Year title.
‎[both chuckle]
‎Mrs. Prinsloo, the ceremony ‎should have started 20 minutes ago.
‎I-I have a funeral at twelve 'o clock.
‎Reverend, the man is dead.
‎It's not as if he'll be late for anything.
‎The Bride of the Year photos ‎are my priority.
‎You know, I also participated in 1989.
‎Yes, you-you mentioned that, yes.
‎Numerous times.
‎[Lienkie screaming]
‎[gasps]
‎Stay calm. [chuckles]
‎This is, uh…
‎This is partly your fault. ‎You weren't supposed to come in here.
‎-My fault? ‎-Technically… [stammers]
‎we shouldn't see each other ‎before the wedding.
‎What wedding?
‎-You and my bridesmaid just-- ‎-[sighs]
‎Technically, I'm his bridesmaid.
‎Technically, you're his intern.
‎-Assistant. I've been promoted. ‎-[camera shutter clicking]
‎-[chuckles] ‎-Yes.
‎This is a nightmare!
‎Thank you!
‎Someone who understands.
‎What will we tell everyone, hmm?
‎I've already told everyone
‎that I'm finally going ‎to win Bride of the Year.
‎[sighs] I'm sorry, Mommy.
‎I really wanted to give that to you.
‎How old are you?
‎Twenty-six, Auntie.
‎I could work with that.
‎Oh, adorable little nose.
‎Well, we'll have to make an announcement.
‎-Yes. ‎-Come.
‎So that's it?
‎You were my only family.
‎Lienkie…
‎Yes?
‎You were never family, my dear.
‎Let's get out of here.
‎[gasps] Estelle.
‎[hushes] Right there.
‎[shutter clicks]
‎Perfect.
‎-[guest gasps] ‎-[guest 2] Oh, my God.
‎[guests chattering]
‎[sighs]
‎What are you doing?
‎Uh, Lienks, ‎I thought we were going to ninja.
‎I'm holding my cake high ‎and walking out of here.
‎-Okay. ‎-[guests chattering]
‎[inhales sharply]
‎[grunts]
‎[sighs]
‎My grand gesture is not gesturing.
‎-Just take the top piece. ‎-Okay.
‎[all exclaim]
‎-[Norma gasps] ‎-Now that takes the cake.
‎Really, Zander? You will pay for this.
‎As in literally. I'm sending you the bill.
‎Lienkie, let's be mature about this.
‎You're busy being hysterical.
‎-[huffs] ‎-At least I'm not making a fool of myself.
‎Okay, okay.
‎-Okay. ‎-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
‎[distorted screaming]
‎[exclaiming]
‎-[sighs] ‎-[camera shutter clicking]
‎[grunts, sighs]
‎[exhales sharply]
‎Bye.
‎[Estelle] Whoo-hoo!
‎Oh, Lienks. You still have a bit ‎of Norma in your hair there.
‎Oh.
‎Rest in peace, Norma.
‎Bottoms up, girl.
‎[sighs]
‎Mmm.
‎[Estelle groans]
‎[sighs]
‎Ten years.
‎Nine and a half years too long, ‎if you ask me.
‎[sighs]
‎He had so much potential, though.
‎You're such a great judge of character.
‎Wow, I mean, look at my best friend.
‎-Your only friend. ‎-Hey!
‎-Uh. Another one? ‎-Hmm.
‎[both] Cheers.
‎[both] Mmm.
‎[both sigh]
‎Now you don't have to be ‎Norma's show horse anymore. That's great.
‎Yes, but if I had won, ‎she might have been nicer to me.
‎Hmm. But if you'd lost, ‎she would've had you put down.
‎[imitates Norma] "The Bride of the Year ‎title of 1989
‎-actually should have been mine." ‎-Mm-hmm.
‎[imitates Norma] "I played polo, like, ‎every week
‎with a cousin of one of the judges. ‎[sighs]
‎But you know that Naomi Esterhuyzen…
‎[scoffs] that old floozy,
‎she's just beautiful inside and outside."
‎Do you really think ‎she jumped on a horse to win?
‎I think she would've ‎jumped on anything to win.
‎-[giggles] Right? ‎-Ladies, ladies, ladies!
‎You two look like the adventurous types ‎who'd love a tour of the City of Go…
‎Okay.
‎Shame. Who ran away? You or him, huh?
‎Who says anyone ran off?
‎Um, you're drinking shooters in a bar ‎in your wedding dress.
‎The groom is drowning. ‎I don't know. Lucky guess.
‎Okay, Sherlock.
‎Or was it a Mrs. and Mrs. wedding? ‎Because that's very trendy.
‎I mean, this is beautiful.
‎That… Not sure. Is that a tablecloth?
‎-[mimics mockingly] ‎-Okay, it's none of your business.
‎All I'm saying is, ‎if you're the one who ran, well done.
‎The institution of Marriage ‎is purely for suckers.
‎-Thank you. ‎-And you know what they say.
‎"The best way to get over someone ‎is to get under…
‎a tall building."
‎So how about a little fun tour ‎of the city, huh? Come on.
‎Go bother someone else.
‎-Someone else isn't as pretty as you. ‎-[gasps]
‎Hey, you're bothering ‎liberated women here, buddy.
‎Oh! Miss Independences!
‎Love that for you guys.
‎-You can get me a drink, hmm? ‎-Can I get you an Uber?
‎-My place or yours? ‎-And when it gets here,
‎you can jump in front of it.
‎Ouch! How do you really feel, hmm?
‎-I feel men are obsolete. ‎-Absolutely.
‎I feel we got off on the wrong foot.
‎How about a tour of Emmarentia Dam?
‎Moonlight, stars, shooting star.
‎[sighs] Sounds great. ‎Late at night in a park with a stranger.
‎-So 9:00 tonight? ‎-Okay, thanks, go now.
‎-Bye. Toodles. ‎-Bye.
‎-Okay, okay. ‎-Never want to see you again.
‎-What the hell? ‎-What a weirdo.
‎Sorry, me again.
‎You dropped this.
‎You should be more careful.
‎This is Johannesburg. Boop.
‎Don't touch her with ‎your sausage fingers, weirdo.
‎Was I too hard on him?
‎No, he's a man.
‎-And men are obsolete. ‎-Obsolete.
‎-That's it. Last one. Here we go. ‎-There we go.
‎Welcome to your new couch.
‎[upbeat Afrikaans pop song playing]
‎REMBRANDT BUTCHERY
‎SWEET TOOTH
‎[water trickling]
‎[Lienkie groans]
‎[groans] City of Joburg.
‎BUSINESS HOURS ‎MONDAY - FRIDAY 07:00 - 17:00
‎SATURDAY 07:00 - 13:00
‎CLOSED
‎OPEN
‎[no audible dialogue]
‎[music continues]
‎[gasps]
‎[no audible dialogue]
‎[wind howling]
‎CLOSED
‎WEDDING CAKES ‎HALF PRICE SALE
‎I told you that they wouldn't answer.
‎I actually got through, ‎but it was the wrong department.
‎My pothole is now officially a sinkhole.
‎-Now, that's a 'hole' lot of trouble. ‎-[robotic voice] ‎Please continue to hold.
‎-Hang up. ‎-Hi.
‎Are you a sinkhole or pothole?
‎[line beeping]
‎He just hung up.
‎[phone ringing]
‎Hi, Lienkie Koekemoer. ‎Thanks for calling back--
‎-[banker] …‎account was flagged by‎… ‎-Oh.
‎-‎We want to check a recent transaction. ‎-Yes?
‎-It's the bank. ‎-Oh, they just want your data.
‎-[banker] …‎25,000. ‎-[gasps] How much?
‎At which store? [breathes heavily]
‎I'm on my way. Uh… [exhales]
‎Okay, uh, Jerry.
‎-Uh, who's Jerry? ‎-Hi, Jerry.
‎Listen here, I need a little favor.
‎-[door opens, closes] ‎-Okay, bye.
‎Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
‎Hold it right there, sir.
‎Whatever it was, it wasn't me.
‎-Credit card fraud. ‎-Oh, that.
‎It's you!
‎I've never seen this woman in my life.
‎You're the guy with the lame tours.
‎I would've done it for you at half-price.
‎[sighs] Hi, Jerry. ‎He stole my credit card.
‎Borrowed!
‎For the basics.
‎Doesn't look like the basics to me.
‎Okay, if you must know, ‎the TV is for the orphanage.
‎And the PlayStation ‎is for the animal shelter.
‎-[shutters clicking] ‎-And the pie is for me.
‎And I got us 10% discount, by the way.
‎-Us? ‎-Mm-hmm.
‎-Lock him up. ‎-Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
‎We can negotiate, huh?
‎Any plans tonight, huh? ‎Should I comb your hair?
‎Nah!
‎Mr. Independence.
‎-You're doing it wrong. ‎-You have nothing I want.
‎Okay, that's harsh.
‎You went to an English school, right?
‎-Let's take it away, boss. ‎-I have connections!
‎Everyone needs something!
‎Think about it!
‎KFC.
‎McDonalds, chocolate éclairs, ‎and then pies, pies, pies.
‎How many pies can the man eat?
‎His acid reflux must be insane.
‎And then the last big transaction ‎of the day.
‎Mm-hmm. When the bank picked it up.
‎-Yeah. ‎-[sighs] Not a good day for Frank.
‎-[Estelle] Mm-hmm. ‎-[sighs]
‎Not for me neither. ‎The bakery is struggling.
‎Lienks, are all your clients
‎-up to date with their payments? ‎-Mm-hmm.
‎Everyone,
‎-except Zander. ‎-There you go!
‎[sighs]
‎I guess I have to stop postponing.
‎[blows raspberry, gasps]
‎-And that? ‎-Just some encouragement.
‎Hmm.
‎-I feel like a spy. ‎-[Estelle] Go, go. ‎Swart Kat‎, go.
‎-[shushes] ‎-This way.
‎Okay.
‎-Cooee! [gasps] ‎-[shushes]
‎-Hey! ‎-You are a terrible burglar.
‎It's not as if we're breaking in. ‎I have the keys.
‎[gasps] He's gone and redone the walls!
‎Yes, this color is called graveyard-gray.
‎All my furniture is gone. ‎Everything that made this a home.
‎[gasps]
‎Mommy's hanging on the wall.
‎[groans] No.
‎It looks like he kept ‎some of your photos, Lienks.
‎-Aw. ‎-[grunts]
‎Oh. [gasps]
‎-Wait. ‎-Hold on.
‎That's my engagement ring, ‎but that's… That's not my hand.
‎[Estelle] And that…
‎[Lienkie] What's going on here? This…
‎[Norma] ‎Breathtaking photo, don't you think?
‎You know, Martin is a true artist.
‎Especially if he has the right model ‎to work with.
‎Have you moved in now?
‎-Someone has to wax Zander's back. ‎-Hmm.
‎I'm surprised it took you so long ‎to come crawling back here, you know.
‎Where is Zander?
‎Zanzibar. No, wait.
‎Is it the Okavango Delta?
‎It's a five-star flexi-plan.
‎A far cry from that pitiful Contiki tour ‎you wanted to do for your honeymoon, hey?
‎Honeymoon?
‎[gasps] I know!
‎It all happened so fast.
‎Soul mates.
‎You simply can't keep them away ‎from each other.
‎-Zander and Johannika. ‎-[both gasp]
‎A girl with spirit and ambition.
‎That's why she was the winner ‎of Bride of the Month.
‎-[scoffs] ‎-Bride of the Mo--
‎We heard the wonderful news this morning. ‎It's an absolute fairy tale.
‎That was my fairy tale.
‎Sweetie…
‎Shame. You were never the right material.
‎[grunts]
‎Are we going to play cricket?
‎That depends.
‎Did Zan-Zan also leave ‎his balls here with his Mommy?
‎Get out or I'll call security.
‎Not until you've paid Lienkie ‎for her cake.
‎Ah. So that's why you broke in here.
‎For a measly amount of money. Ugh.
‎It cost 8,000 rand.
‎Hmm, 8,000. "Swipe to pay".
‎Hey!
‎What is your problem with me?
‎My dear,
‎you're desperate.
‎Desperate for love.
‎Desperate to be a part of my family. It's…
‎It's pathetic.
‎Maybe I am pathetic,
‎but at least I'm not cruel.
‎Or old.
‎Go!
‎Go take a bath in Botox!
‎Bye!
‎[sighs]
‎Okay.
‎[gasps] Ooh, coffee!
‎No, that's enough coffee.
‎I'm the one who made him, ‎and now Johannika gets rewarded?
‎I don't know if Zander counts as a reward.
‎Norma was right. I was desperate.
‎For the house, the children, ‎the stability that I never had as a child.
‎And now Zander has the life ‎I've always wanted, but with someone else.
‎[cries]
‎I think you should look at it ‎as a new beginning, Lienks.
‎I don't want a new beginning.
‎Okay.
‎I want revenge!
‎Yes.
‎Okay, what's the plan?
‎I'm going to win Bride of the Year.
‎Ah. Um, slight problem. [chuckles]
‎You have a month to get married ‎and you don't have a husband.
‎-So we'll get one. How hard can it be? ‎-[Estelle scoffs]
‎[Frank] Right! Eyes on the queen. ‎Here we go!
‎Macho, macho man. ‎Find the queen, if you can. Yeah?
‎Ah, wait, wait, wait. [chuckles]
‎I know where.
‎-Are you sure? ‎-Yes. Shh, man.
‎There!
‎-Ah. ‎-[sighs] Wow! No way.
‎Too bad, bro. Next time. ‎Who's next? Let's go!
‎Whoa, whoa, whoa.
‎Show me the other two cards.
‎Hey, man. The game's over.
‎We're all having such a good time now.
‎Do you know what we do with cheaters, huh?
‎Frankie!
‎Someone here for you.
‎Just when we were starting ‎to have fun, gents.
‎-Buh-bye. ‎-[clicks tongue]
‎Hello!
‎Daddy's waiting for you.
‎[grunts]
‎I'm telling you, just put me in ‎solitary confinement.
‎-I'm fine with being alone. ‎-Hey.
‎Bro, this isn't a yoga retreat. ‎We only have one cell.
‎-Either you're inside or you're outside. ‎-Yeah. Outside is fine too.
‎I might be able to help you with that.
‎-Hmm? ‎-Hey! Well, well, well.
‎They always come back to old Frank.
‎-Told ya. ‎-[sighs]
‎[Frank chuckles]
‎I need a con man.
‎Whoa, whoa, whoa.
‎[stutters] You know I can hear you, hey?
‎Oh, it's nothing illegal. I promise.
‎How's Michelle?
‎[chuckles] We're preggies.
‎[screams] Congratulations.
‎[Jerry chuckles] Let me get the sonogram.
‎The 12-week one. You can see his hee-hee!
‎-Ooh! ‎-Let me know if you need a stroller.
‎I have a connection.
‎You have to pretend to be in love with me.
‎[laughs] What?
‎Katlego, did you hear what she said?
‎-[laughs] ‎-[Katlego laughs]
‎Come on. It's me or jail.
‎Is it really that hard to decide?
‎Well, I mean, how old are you?
‎[chuckles]
‎Hey! Aw!
‎You're a lucky man.
‎Send her love, huh?
‎Will do.
‎You can take him back. Hmm?
‎[prisoner] Frankie, we miss you!
‎Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
‎We can negotiate.
‎It's fine. ‎You're-You're pretty. Pretty-ish.
‎[Frank] ‎Wait. Rewind a bit.
‎It's not like a real marriage.
‎It's just so that we can convince ‎the Bride of the Year judges.
‎So until death do us part? ‎That's a bit hectic.
‎Oh, okay. So you'd rather prefer ‎to stay in jail with your buddies, hmm?
‎-Okay, so it's a Miss World for Brides? ‎-Mmm.
‎According to my ex-mother-in-law,
‎it's the biggest competition ‎for newlyweds in the country.
‎So you can win a prize ‎just by getting married?
‎And they call me a con man.
‎Okay, the competition is tough.
‎Sounds like punishment to me.
‎There are hundreds of entries,
‎and every month just one couple is chosen.
‎And out of the 12 finalists, ‎only one bride can wear the crown.
‎Oh, so it's a beauty contest.
‎No, it's not about beauty.
‎It's about them, their story, ‎their future plans, you know?
‎What makes them ‎more special than the rest?
‎So we're lying.
‎Call it acting.
‎Whatever. What do I get out of it?
‎Uh, you do not get locked up for fraud?
‎Good point. What else?
‎That was the deal. Period.
‎Okay, but do you want ‎an Oscar performance,
‎or a primary school concert?
‎[gasps]
‎All the prizes are valued at 50,000, ‎and a second honeymoon.
‎Well, in that case, call me Marius Weyers!
‎So, all I have to do is…
‎DREAM WEDDING
‎Follow the plan.
‎[Frank] What?
‎You know, this is very creepy?
‎Well, thanks.
‎BRIDE OF THE YEAR ‎1989 1ST PRINCESS
‎-[Zander] Remember the snake? ‎-Yes,
‎but I've never had ‎such a nice mojito before.
‎Yes, yes. That one, and, um, the one where ‎you're walking on the beach together. Hmm?
‎Oh, Mom, I actually ‎like the one at the casino.
‎Zander, Mommy knows exactly ‎what the judges will like.
‎["Carmen" playing]
‎Yes, Mom. Mom must just tell me ‎when I can give Mom a lift home.
‎Oh, no. That won't be necessary.
‎I will be staying here until ‎you're the winners of Bride of the Year.
‎Great. [chuckles]
‎Awesome.
‎Okay. We'll create the perfect fiancé.
‎-A man of the soil. A good man. ‎-[sheep bleats]
‎Johannika and Zander are going ‎for the young, corporate couple,
‎but we'll be doing the opposite.
‎Farm boy…
‎-who puts his family first. ‎-[rooster crowing]
‎[Frank] ‎Oh. I don't do family, sorry.
‎[Lienkie] ‎But the judges love a big family.
‎Well, I don't care. No family.
‎[cow moos]
‎Okay, Marius Weyers. ‎It's not you, it's the character.
‎No one will believe I'm from ‎a happy family, okay? Trust me.
‎-I'm a good liar, but not that good. ‎-Okay, so what do you suggest?
‎A solitary man. A loner.
‎"A lone wolf. Stranger.
‎Turned his back on the spotlight."
‎[sighs] Mm-mmm.
‎-Okay, how about a cowboy, huh? Strong. ‎-[horse whinnies]
‎-[whip cracks] ‎-[Frank] Silent‎.
‎-Unshakable. [blows air] ‎-[bird shrieks]
‎[blows air, imitates Frank] ‎This isn't Carletonville.
‎-[Frank] ‎A biker? Huh? ‎-[Lienkie] ‎Not Krugersdorp either.
‎[Frank] ‎Okay, how about a pirate?
‎A pirate who just stole a treasure,
‎and he's fleeing for his life ‎on the deep blue sea.
‎And everyone wants to kill him!
‎-[imitates pirate] ‎-[record scratch]
‎-There's no way. ‎-What?
‎We're trying to distance ourselves ‎from your criminal record.
‎Just to be honest, I've never ‎been convicted. In your face.
‎You're a farm boy, okay?
‎Tight jeans, nice check shirt.
‎Oof, maybe a pair of bush boots.
‎So I must look like someone ‎who sings folk‎‎music?
‎Metro farmers are trending. [moans]
‎Okay, fine. I'm a single farm boy ‎enjoying his life.
‎This farm boy needs a little personality.
‎Yes! A farm boy who…
‎[imitates fanfare] …breakdances, baby!
‎Okay, too much personality.
‎Ooh, a writer. A thinker.
‎Yes, that's beautiful.
‎"Captains Log. Day 300 on the open sea."
‎Okay, you're not Jack Sparrow. ‎You write romantic poetry.
‎"I think I have scurvy. My heart's ‎topsy-turvy for a lady so curvy".
‎-[sighs] ‎-Huh?
‎Come on, Frank!
‎What? It's called negotiating.
‎Okay, you're a farm boy ‎who writes while sailing the seas.
‎A single farm boy ‎who writes while sailing the seas.
‎Until he meets his soul mate. ‎His one true love.
‎[shutter clicks]
‎[Frank sighs]
‎Didn't the Titanic sink?
‎I'll green-screen it. Okay?
‎This isn't the Titanic,
‎it's the boat we met on, in…
‎Mauritius.
‎[groans]
‎How long is this gonna take?
‎So I caught a dead snoek ‎in Mauritius and you fell for me?
‎Sounds legit.
‎-This thing stinks. ‎-It's fresh snoek.
‎In Johannesburg?
‎Okay, drop the fish and come sit here, ‎and pretend to be in love with me.
‎I wish I were you, buddy.
‎Okay, here we go.
‎[leaf blower humming]
‎-[groan] ‎-Yay!
‎-Enough? Is it-- ‎-Okay, I think we've got it.
‎Now you can go and do the Titanic pose.
‎-Shotgun, Rose! ‎-Hold on, Rose.
‎I am not drawing you naked.
‎-Okay. ‎-[sighs]
‎[sighs]
‎It looks like you're holding ‎an injured seagull. Hold her properly.
‎Okay!
‎-Yes. ‎-[shutter clicking]
‎Okay, got it?
‎-Yes. ‎-Cool.
‎Ooh.
‎Is that it or is there still a-- Okay.
‎Mauritius!
‎How old are you?
‎["Rowwe Bliksem" playing]
‎Oh, yes.
‎-Now we're talking my language. ‎-Okay, hold on.
‎We're just here for a few photos.
‎This isn't my kind of music anyway.
‎Dance?
‎Oh, maybe not. ‎Zander said it was a waste of time.
‎[in Afrikaans] ‎♪ ‎How do you get on that vibe‎ ♪
‎[in English] Zander is a waste of time.
‎[in Afrikaans] ‎♪ ‎Man I'll load the cooler ‎♪
‎-♪ ‎But where are we going to cruise ‎♪ ‎-♪ ‎We'll just stop around the corner ‎♪
‎[in English] Nice!
‎-♪ ‎And we're going to visit Meyer ‎♪ ‎-‎♪ ‎But what if Meyer refuses ‎♪
‎♪ ‎We'll say our brandy is finished ‎♪
‎See? It's not that hard.
‎♪ ‎Because there's still plenty there ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Take me drunk, I'm going home ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Hold me tight ‎Or I'll dance myself to death ‎♪
‎-You ready for the move? ‎-The what?
‎The move.
‎♪ ‎At Buffelsfontein ‎We get honky-tonk young ‎♪
‎♪ ‎If we aren't careful tonight ‎We'll end up in jail again, oh-way-oh ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Let me go, oh-way-oh‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Let's go wild ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Here we're getting ‎Thrown out again tonight ‎♪
‎♪ ‎I'll lose another girl ‎♪
‎♪ ‎There it is, that's it, you roughneck ‎♪
‎There we go. There's that smile.
‎♪ ‎There it is, that's it, you roughneck ‎♪
‎-This way and this way. ‎-[chuckles]
‎♪ ‎Yeah, now we're on that vibe ‎♪
‎You learn fast for someone ‎from an English school.
‎Okay, I don't know this move.
‎Looks awesome.
‎[exclaims]
‎♪ ‎Has Meyer started to doze off ‎♪
‎♪ ‎No, he's still oiling his beard‎ ♪
‎-What? ‎-Zander and his new wife.
‎♪ ‎Fasten your belt my friend ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Take me drunk, I'm going home ‎♪
‎Chips, chips, chips. ‎It's the Mommy Club of the capital.
‎[chuckles]
‎What in the Sigmund Freud?
‎I think we should go.
‎Want to take them on the dance floor?
‎No, no, no, no, no.
‎I can't hear you.
‎♪ ‎Let me go, oh-way-oh ‎Let's go wild ‎♪
‎-Hey, we're dancing here. ‎-Cool, man.
‎Lienkie?
‎♪‎There it is, that's it, you roughneck ‎♪
‎Lien-Lienkie.
‎-Ah. ‎-Oh, hey.
‎-You're here. ‎-Hi.
‎And who is this?
‎Frank, but you can call me Daddy-O. Hmm?
‎Uh, who are you to her?
‎Her lover, boyfriend, soul mate.
‎We don't do labels.
‎Uh, how about rebound?
‎[chuckles]
‎[laughs] So you've heard about ‎her ex-fiancé, Zepper.
‎Um, it's Zander.
‎Apparently, a big loser.
‎-Loser? ‎-Do you want to dance?
‎-I'm a fast dancer. ‎-Zander, let Mommy do the talking.
‎Listen, you nincompoop!
‎Zander went to school.
‎What? Primary school?
‎Because only a fool would let ‎this vision slip through his fingers.
‎♪ ‎If we aren't careful tonight ‎We'll end up in jail again, oh-way-oh ‎♪
‎-[phone camera shutter clicking] ‎-Uh, stop that. Stop.
‎Zander.
‎There you go.
‎♪ ‎Here we're getting ‎Thrown out again tonight ‎♪
‎♪ ‎I'll lose another girl ‎♪
‎♪ ‎There it is, that's it, you roughneck ‎♪
‎[song ends]
‎So how did you scam your way ‎into this old-age home, huh?
‎I gave a lonely old lady ‎a little bit of joy.
‎Did you sleep with a pensioner?
‎What? No! [chuckles] ‎What do you think of me?
‎I just watched some soaps with her ‎in the evenings.
‎Yeah, free TV.
‎She had no one left, so when she died, ‎I inherited her place in the home.
‎Doesn't it get lonely here?
‎Not really.
‎I prefer it that way.
‎How do you deal with it ‎when something happens to one of them?
‎Easy. I keep my distance ‎and I don't get too attached.
‎How do you do that?
‎Hey, what can I say?
‎I'm a rolling stone, baby.
‎[twig snaps]
‎So, uh, what's the next strategic step ‎of the Bride of Year competition?
‎-It's a big one. ‎-Give me a clue.
‎You'll be on your knees.
‎-Okay. ‎-You'll have to rehearse your lines.
‎Most beautiful monologue ‎I've ever written.
‎The judges will be in love with it.
‎Yeah, but will I like it?
‎Hmm. As long as you're not ‎scared of the outdoors.
‎-The what? The outdoors? ‎-[frogs croaking]
‎Lienkie, I'm terrified of the outdoors. ‎What are you talking about?
‎I'm afraid of bugs, snakes,
‎bugs that look like snakes,
‎snakes that look like branches,
‎branches that look like bugs.
‎-Come on. ‎-[Lienkie] Okay, on to plan B.
‎-How do you feel about skydiving? ‎-What?
‎-[sighs] Ha, ha, Lienkie. Funny. ‎-[chuckles] Mm-hmm.
‎Uh, wanna come in?
‎Uh, to practice the speech.
‎Oh, yes. Um… Maybe it's better
‎-if we don't practice too much. ‎-Yeah, yeah.
‎-It'll sound more natural. ‎-Natural, yes. Nice.
‎-That's all that I meant. ‎-Hmm.
‎Yeah.
‎[inhales deeply]
‎-Good night. ‎-Good night.
‎-Oh, uh, sorry. ‎-Oh, sorry. Uh…
‎Okay, um, we'll have to work on…
‎-on this. ‎-Okay.
‎Okay, bye.
‎[chuckles] What?
‎[sighs, exclaims]
‎[sighs]
‎Frankie, my boy.
‎-Who's the goose? ‎-[groans]
‎Albie, you know I hate it ‎when people just barge in here.
‎I'm not people. I'm your pal.
‎[sighs] Who's the girl, hey? Come on, man.
‎It's a work colleague, okay? ‎We work together.
‎It didn't look like work to me. ‎It looked more like a date.
‎She's part of a project. It's just a job.
‎I wish I had a job like that.
‎Aren't you like a hundred years old?
‎I'm 83 and full of life.
‎Do you think this chick ‎has a friend for me?
‎No, Albie! No, man.
‎Go to bed. Old people need their rest.
‎And snot-nosed kids must learn ‎to respect their elders.
‎[blows raspberry]
‎[door closes]
‎[chuckles]
‎[Lienkie] Okay, so, when ‎he pops the big question,
‎make sure that the camera ‎is focused on my face.
‎Okay, and we're recording it on…
‎-Instagram. ‎-Instagram.
‎Yes, I like the filter. ‎You know how it works, right?
‎Yes, of course.
‎-[sighs] You're late. ‎-[panting]
‎-You told me to use the bottom gate. ‎-Mmm.
‎It's two kilometers away.
‎Okay. Learn your lines.
‎This is a two-hour drama.
‎Because your love for me is epic.
‎"For my entire life ‎I've been a lonely bachelor.
‎I was blind to my loneliness ‎until I met you.
‎It was an earth-shattering event."
‎No one talks like that.
‎They do when they're in love.
‎[sighs]
‎What do you think?
‎Wow! [chuckles] Okay.
‎LIENKIE MARRY ME
‎How did you pull that off?
‎Oh, ‎I've had ten years to plan all of this.
‎Enough time to gather a few things.
‎Oh, so this isn't from Zander's proposal?
‎Um, no.
‎We were grocery shopping when Zander said ‎that his mom wouldn't stop nagging him,
‎so we'd better get married ‎and be done with it.
‎Are you ready for the big moment?
‎Yeah. [sighs]
‎Okay, lights in broad daylight.
‎Okay. Come on, old man.
‎At least you're pretty.
‎[gasps] Oh, darling!
‎It's absolutely breathtaking!
‎[gasps]
‎Lienkie, for my entire life, ‎I've been a lonely bachelor.
‎An earth-shattering soul mate.
‎And I didn't know I was so lonely ‎until I met you, because you…
‎[chuckles]
‎You, um…
‎Fill a void in your soul that you ‎never knew existed, right, darling?
‎Exactly that.
‎Uh, because you, darling… [chuckles]
‎"Without you… I can't live.
‎Can't we just forget ‎and forgive, darling?"
‎Gé Korsten? Really?
‎No, Lienkie. "I'm your… captain.
‎And I'm setting the sails ‎because you're mine.
‎You're no loose flooze anymore. You…
‎I want to be your dancing queen.
‎Okay.
‎Lienkie Koekemoer…
‎[gasps, sighs]
‎Will you…
‎[breathes shakily] …please--
‎-[shouts, screams] ‎-Hey!
‎-What's wrong? ‎-There's a bug in my shirt.
‎-What? ‎-There's a bug in my shirt!
‎-There's a bug in my shirt, Lienkie! ‎-Okay, okay!
‎I told you I hated the outdoors! ‎And now we're here!
‎Don't move! Okay.
‎[gasps, screams] ‎Okay, it's a Parktown prawn.
‎Shit! It's in my pants!
‎-Lienkie, it's in my pants! ‎-[chuckles]
‎-Get it out! ‎-Okay, okay.
‎-Lienkie, pull off my pants! ‎-Fine! Stop squirming.
‎-Pull off my pants, Lienkie! ‎-Stop squirming! I've got it!
‎-[yells] ‎-[screams]
‎[gasps]
‎[chuckles]
‎-You owe me. ‎-[both laugh]
‎-You owe me. ‎-[laughing]
‎You owe me big time.
‎[chuckles, grunts]
‎Is this the engagement ‎you've always dreamed of?
‎[chuckles] ‎All my fantasies have come true.
‎[both chuckle]
‎In my day, we would ‎leave that type of thing for marriage.
‎Well, you did pull my pants down ‎before the wedding.
‎[chuckles]
‎[panting] Whew!
‎Okay, so everyone is okay again.
‎I ran, but it's fine. [panting, sighs]
‎"Save to Instagram".
‎[grunts]
‎There's no such thing.
‎OUR VISION
‎The fundamental question now…
‎…is are we going to win Mrs. South Africa ‎before or after the baby?
‎-Okay. ‎-[phone chimes]
‎-[sighs] ‎-It better not be that new intern.
‎-Lienkie? ‎-Johannika!
‎She's, uh…
‎-engaged. ‎-[gasps]
‎Can't be. To whom?
‎Don't tell me it's ‎that scruffy nitwit we met at the bar.
‎-[gasps] ‎-Yes.
‎[chuckles] ‎Some way to make a fool of yourself.
‎-Good grief! Send it to me. ‎-[chuckles]
‎The ladies in my club ‎are going to love it.
‎-[gasps] Sent. ‎-[phone chimes]
‎Deleted. Hopefully we were in time.
‎-Barely up five minutes. ‎-[shivers] Yeah. I'm sure no one saw it.
‎But did it look cool?
‎-[chuckles] ‎-[speaks indistinctly]
‎I don't know. What is he doing?
‎[chuckles]
‎[in Afrikaans] ‎♪ ‎Lienkie, it's in my pants ‎♪
‎[Lienkie] ♪ ‎Don't move ‎It's a Parktown prawn‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Don't move ‎It's a Parktown prawn‎ ♪
‎♪ Don't move ‎It's a Parktown prawn ♪
‎-♪ ‎Don't move ‎♪ ‎-[Frank] ♪ ‎Pull my pants down ‎♪
‎[Lienkie] ♪ ‎Stop squirming‎ ♪
‎-♪ ‎Stop… Stop squirming ‎♪ ‎-[Frank] ♪ ‎Lienkie ‎♪
‎-Wow, this is bad. ‎-[chuckles]
‎Can I lick the bowl?
‎-No. ‎-What?
‎No, you'll lick yourself ‎into a diabetic coma, man.
‎You know, it's that attitude ‎that makes people steal your credit card.
‎Oh!
‎And I thought it was because of ‎your love of a garage pie.
‎-Well-played. ‎-[chuckles]
‎-What? ‎-Nothing.
‎I'm just watching you enjoy your work.
‎[sighs]
‎It doesn't feel like work.
‎And anyway, this one is for you.
‎-Some extra sugar. Mmm. ‎-Oh, wow. And a heart.
‎-[phone chimes] ‎-Thank you.
‎[grunts]
‎Oh, f… Dammit!
‎And now? What's wrong?
‎No, nothing. Everything's fine.
‎How about a social media break ‎for a week, huh?
‎How does that sound?
‎They say it's terrible, ‎especially for your mental health.
‎So a bit of an information detox?
‎Okay, can't be that bad. Give here.
‎Our video sort of went viral.
‎[Frank] ♪ ‎Lienkie, it's in my pants ‎♪
‎[Lienkie] ♪ ‎Stop moving ‎♪
‎[sighs] Yeah. We're famous.
‎[groans] Kill me.
‎It's not that bad, Lienkie.
‎[sighs]
‎[Lienkie] ♪ ‎Stop squirming ‎Stop… Stop squirming ‎♪
‎Okay. [sighs]
‎-Well, there goes Bride of the Year. ‎-What?
‎You must be relieved.
‎-No, we can make another plan. ‎-No, they want the perfect story.
‎Not a mad woman tackling her half-naked, ‎screaming floozy‎‎into the dam.
‎-[sighs] Lienkie, we can-- ‎-[phone chiming]
‎[sighs]
‎Lienkie. Lienkie!
‎Wedding Fever wants ‎a live stream interview with us.
‎They love our video.
‎Frank, if you're lying to me now…
‎Lienkie, I'd never lie to you.
‎Okay, I'd never lie to you ‎about something this important.
‎[sighs]
‎We need a wedding venue.
‎Okay, wait. So operation "Find a jailbird
‎so my ex won't win Bride of the Year" ‎is back on?
‎Ouch! Jailbird? ‎After everything I've done for you?
‎-Fine. ‎-Yes! [sighs]
‎[person chuckles]
‎It's more of a cemetery ‎than a wedding venue.
‎[both] ♪ ‎Don't move ‎It's a Parktown prawn. Don't move ‎♪
‎♪ ‎It's a Parktown prawn. Don't move ‎♪
‎♪ ‎It's a Parktown prawn. Don't move‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Pull my pants off, pull my pants off ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Pull my pants off ‎♪
‎Uh, where did you hear that?
‎It's trending on TikTok.
‎And tell me why you didn't tell us ‎that you were going to tie the knot.
‎-We are practically family. ‎-We're neighbors, Uncle Albie.
‎Hi.
‎Where have you been all my life?
‎In diapers, Uncle.
‎Okay, we'll chat later.
‎And the gardening club ‎will do the flowers.
‎Yeah. And I-I've been married four times,
‎so I can handle the ceremony.
‎Okay, but we're not really… ‎It's just a… um…
‎-We actually have a plan. ‎-I'd really love to help. May I, please?
‎Auntie, it'll be a small ceremony. ‎Just some--
‎Over my dead body.
‎This could possibly be the last wedding
‎that we'll experience in our lifetimes.
‎-Then we'll go all out, Auntie. ‎-[sighs]
‎-[gasps] Thank you! [chuckles] ‎-Yay!
‎-We're having a wedding! ‎-[people cheer, chuckle]
‎Okay, hopefully tomorrow at the Bridal ‎Expo we'll get a couple of good deals.
‎Okay, my credit card is maxed out, so…
‎Hmm, weird.
‎Mine was stolen the other day.
‎Hmm. I'll have to give Jerry a call.
‎-Wow, I can't wait to be married to you. ‎-Hmm.
‎-I'll make a plan. ‎-[gasps]
‎["Juste M'Balader" playing]
‎[gasps]
‎Oh, it's like a dream.
‎Yes, where a squint-eyed murderer ‎cuts your throat.
‎-Why don't you like weddings? ‎-It's a scam. Look here.
‎4,000 just for seat covers.
‎You know how many farts ‎get on these seat covers?
‎It's not as if the wedding day ‎means anything.
‎Weddings, they bring family, bring joy.
‎It's the whole shebang. It's where ‎everything is supposed to start.
‎Well, it's where everything ended ‎for my parents.
‎-Look at this. Disgusting. ‎-Hi, hi, hi, you two.
‎-How about a sample? ‎-Ooh.
‎Afro-Asian fusion.
‎-Mmm. ‎-For just 500 bucks.
‎-Oh, that's not bad. ‎-Per head.
‎Okay, you should have your head examined.
‎Okay, relax. Let's keep looking.
‎Do we have to go so big?
‎Yes, after our viral video, ‎everyone will want to see our wedding,
‎so we have to go big.
‎Let's see what we can afford, huh?
‎Okay, what my credit card can afford.
‎Ah. Now you're sounding ‎like marriage material.
‎BRIDE OF THE YEAR
‎Yes, first princess in 1989. [chuckles]
‎My daughter-in-law is following ‎in my footsteps.
‎-She's already Bride of the Month. ‎-With the perfect mother-in-law
‎-at my side. [giggles] ‎-Aw.
‎-[clears throat] ‎-And of course my Zan-Zan. Right, baby?
‎Let's take a picture for the fans. ‎[chuckles]
‎I could've sworn I just saw Lienkie.
‎I thought I could smell ‎something desperate.
‎Come on, babe.
‎We can't even afford the invitations.
‎Okay, hear me out.
‎On Wednesdays there's a soup kitchen ‎at the old age home.
‎We can get married there. ‎Catering covered.
‎Or in the sick bay. ‎Yummy jelly and custard.
‎-That's actually amazing. ‎-[laughs]
‎-It sounds incredible. ‎-We won't win Bride of the Month that way.
‎And then it would've all been in vain.
‎Weddings don't matter.
‎-This one matters. ‎-[sighs] ‎Ay ay ay.
‎But you've been through ‎this nonsense before.
‎No, Norma planned everything.
‎Why did you stay for so long?
‎I grew up in a children's home.
‎Kept moving around from A to B.
‎I used to find it strange ‎that it was called a home.
‎I just knew that when I got married…
‎I'd finally have a real home.
‎My perfect home.
‎Sorry.
‎Do you want a bite of my pie?
‎-Okay, not that much. ‎-[chuckles]
‎-Geez, that was… ‎-Mmm.
‎…unnecessary.
‎You know we're not a good match.
‎-I mean, not at all. [chuckles] ‎-Not at all.
‎I'm not a good match for anyone.
‎I think Norma and Zander realized that ‎long before I did.
‎[sighs]
‎What am I doing, Frank?
‎Um, getting revenge because ‎they're assholes, and they deserve it.
‎[paper crumples]
‎[grunts] Okay, let's go.
‎Let the show begin.
‎Are you familiar with the French saying,
‎[in French accent] ‎"Fake it till you make it"?
‎[normal] I thought so. ‎Well, now you are. Watch this move.
‎Your turn.
‎Hmm?
‎Attitude and attitude. ‎Chin up and attitude.
‎Attitude and attitude. Attitude, attitude.
‎-Peonies and orchids… ‎-[gasps]
‎…this time of year? [chuckles]
‎-What's your budget? ‎-Ah. [in French] ‎Ma chérie!
‎There you are!
‎Ooh, la la! ‎Who is this beautiful man-boy, huh?
‎Werner. Blooming Divine.
‎Okay, Ja-kwes.
‎Wedding planner extraordinaire. [chuckles]
‎But we can only fit you in ‎in two weeks time.
‎Sorry. We are very busy.
‎Oh, so am I. Fully booked.
‎Ooh, we are so lucky that Ja-kwes ‎flew out to South Africa.
‎Yes, the first time I was here, oh,
‎I fell in love with ‎this beautiful country.
‎I was doing Rolene and D'Niel's wedding.
‎Oh. Out of this world!
‎How does that song go?
‎[in Xhosa] ♪ ‎God bless… ‎♪
‎Rolene--
‎♪ …‎Africa‎ ♪
‎Rolene? As in Miss Universe?
‎Of course. Frank… ly, Ja-kwes only caters ‎for the super-rich and the super-famous.
‎Where is Fleur?
‎She always does my wedding installations.
‎Oh, Ja-kwes connected her ‎to Christo Wiese, the billionaire.
‎Or was it the Ruperts?
‎Ah, potato, tomato. Who knows, anyway?
‎Oh, no! Look at this color scheme!
‎Is it 2020? No! ‎We get out of here right now.
‎Hang on, hang on, hang on. ‎I'll sponsor all the flowers for free.
‎But they have to match the invitations ‎and the, uh, table decor.
‎Yes, yes, yes. I know someone ‎at Wedding Solutions
‎and she is to die for.
‎No! No one must die!
‎The ambassador is flying in!
‎Okay, you're doing ‎this woman's hair and makeup for free.
‎This French pain in the ass ‎will make us famous.
‎[chuckles] So this is Marlene
‎and she will do all the hair ‎and makeup and nails for free.
‎Hmm, maybe. I'll give you the call.
‎[grunts] Thank you, pain in the ass.
‎[scoffs]
‎Did I mention a certain ‎Mr. Siya might be getting remarried soon
‎and there might be some, uh, services--
‎Please, please, please ‎don't break my heart.
‎-We supply the best crystal glasses. ‎-Oh, lovely.
‎Ja-kwes, please take a look at our menu. ‎We have a wide range of seafood.
‎Our china is divine.
‎Okay, stop it!
‎Firstly, look after this beautiful bride.
‎-Move! ‎-[group clamoring]
‎You know the things I said ‎about orchids being rare? They're not.
‎I can organize them for you ‎even if they are rare,
‎but we can go more rare.
‎We can go more rare.
‎Yes. We can get anything you need.
‎-So, I was thinking… ‎-[group clamors]
‎Out of my face, everyone.
‎SWEET TOOTH
‎[chuckles] I can't believe that worked.
‎-Did you see Werner checking you out hey? ‎-Yeah.
‎He was checking you out, ‎Ja-kwes, wasn't he, huh?
‎-Christo Wiese and Ruperts, huh? Hello! ‎-[chuckles] It's you!
‎You made me say stupid things, man!
‎-Me? ‎-Yes!
‎You're the one who took us to that ‎stupid place in the first place.
‎[gentle music playing]
‎[exhales sharply] The list! ‎Let's see what we still need.
‎Okay, dress, shoes, flowers, ‎venue, food, makeup, and drinks.
‎-What else? ‎-One very important thing.
‎-It's a tough one. ‎-[scoffs]
‎Ja-kwes is formidable.
‎Hmm, Ja-kwes needs ‎to be more than formidable I'm afraid.
‎Are you ready for a challenge?
‎-Um, does Faf wear tight undies? ‎-[chuckles]
‎Are you picturing Faf de Klerk ‎in undies now?
‎[laughs]
‎JEANETICS HAIR
‎Is this a birdcage?
‎Trust me, I have shot them all.
‎Petra, Susan, Marelize, ‎Shanté, Juané, Carlien…
‎-Van Jaarsveld? ‎-Hattingh.
‎Brides of the Year.
‎2017, 2018, 2019…
‎Oh, 2020, I was robbed that year.
‎Robbed, I tell you.
‎2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025.
‎Oh! Sheryl van Deventer. ‎She was also Miss Hartenbos. [chuckles]
‎Where do I know you from?
‎Oh, we're kind of, sort of famous.
‎So is Eben Etzebeth and still ‎I couldn't find a gap to squeeze him in.
‎-150,000 views on Instagram. ‎-Yep.
‎Really?
‎Oh, that is my personal little gallery.
‎I call it "Disartistry: ‎Where art and disaster meet."
‎Now, that's where you end up ‎when your big day goes wrong.
‎[chuckles] Look at her falling. Sorry.
‎Much like this meeting.
‎I'm gonna be honest with you. ‎I'm not feeling this.
‎You can go. Hmph.
‎That's all.
‎I want to win Bride of the Year.
‎You and 905 other hopefuls, babe.
‎And I've already declined 903 of them,
‎so you'll have to bring something better ‎than Instagram views to the table.
‎My photos tell a story.
‎The story behind the story. ‎The raw narrative ya know?
‎Something that'll capture the public.
‎Emotions that I can capture ‎and interpret with the camera.
‎Here's your story.
‎This woman was cheated on and humiliated ‎on her wedding day.
‎Rejected by her fiancé, ‎the love of her life--
‎Okay, thank you, Frank. ‎I think he gets the idea.
‎[sighs]
‎[breathing shakily]
‎How could I forget?
‎That nose is unforgettable.
‎That's it.
‎-The tale of the Phoenix. ‎-[bird shrieks]
‎A woman liberated from her pain ‎and humiliation… [gasps]
‎Oh. You need a true artist ‎to tell this story.
‎Yes, yes. That's it.
‎You, baby, you are the one.
‎You are my 2026. [inhales sharply]
‎[bird squawks]
‎-Cool. ‎-Awesome. [chuckles]
‎Is this photo for sale?
‎Hmm. Not a chance.
‎ [chuckles] This one's got personality.
‎Hmm. A different one every day.
‎[grunts] Found it. Sorry.
‎-See you soon. ‎-Mm-hmm.
‎What is your rush?
‎[gasps]
‎[sighs]
‎The worst moment of my life.
‎[sighs] Sorry. It was a stupid idea.
‎-I'll take it back. Sorry. ‎-No.
‎Thank you.
‎-[Lienkie] Okay. ‎-I still have a pie in the oven
‎that we can reheat if you want.
‎[all] Surprise!
‎-[clamoring] ‎-Whoa, okay.
‎[laughs] Uh, a man can't get married ‎without a proper stag party.
‎[elderly person chuckles]
‎Welcome.
‎-Did they kidnap you? ‎-Basically.
‎Can you please keep ‎that handsy Albie away from me?
‎BRIDE
‎We could always have a double wedding.
‎[Estelle] Hmm. Yeehaw!
‎You really didn't have to do this.
‎Frankie, we're as old as the mountains. ‎Just let us enjoy this.
‎Okay, I'll put the kettle on.
‎No, sweetheart! We have something ‎a little bit more exciting in mind.
‎["Mermaid" playing]
‎♪ ‎No time to waste‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Let the good vibes in ‎Blow the bad vibes out ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Happiness is a choice ‎So stop looking for it‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎You're a mermaid ‎Don't let them call you a snoek ‎♪
‎♪ ‎So let me show you a little something‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Let people talk ‎You know haters are going to hate ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Happiness is a choice ‎So stop looking for it ‎♪
‎♪ ‎You're a mermaid ‎Don't them call you a snoek‎ ♪
‎These old-timers know how to party.
‎BRIDE TO BE
‎[grunts]
‎Hey. Come shake your booty.
‎-Huh? ‎-Check this.
‎Best hooch in town.
‎Are you coming?
‎Not even if I had to choose ‎between you and a cripple cockroach.
‎And what if the cockroach can't make it?
‎Hey, I'm watching you.
‎There aren't many of them left ‎in the village, hmm.
‎Is that so?
‎[exclaiming]
‎[laughs]
‎Hey, you with the pretty eyes, ‎you wanna dance?
‎You know I'm not a great dancer.
‎That's because you've never had ‎the right partner.
‎Frankie Footloose.
‎And his goose.
‎Yeehaw! In the house.
‎Okay. [chuckles]
‎Take it easy, Rocky.
‎-Just relax. ‎-[laughs]
‎♪ ‎No time to waste ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Let the good vibes in ‎Blow the bad vibes out‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Happiness is a choice ‎So stop looking for it ‎♪
‎♪ ‎You're a mermaid ‎Don't let them call you a snoek‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎So let me show you a little something ‎♪
‎♪‎ Let people talk ‎You know haters are going to hate ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Happiness is a choice ‎So stop looking for it ‎♪
‎♪ ‎You're a mermaid ‎Don't let them call you a snoek ‎♪
‎[song ends]
‎["Right For Each Other" playing]
‎[person snoring]
‎Listen, I'm pretty sure that old lady ‎on the scooter is dead.
‎-[Lienkie chuckles] ‎-Did you see how she danced?
‎-There you go. ‎-[chuckles] Thank you.
‎-Cheers. ‎-Cheers.
‎So, will Sleeping Beauty be able to get ‎her feet into her wedding shoes tomorrow?
‎You mean Cinderella?
‎You might need ‎a few lessons in fairy tales.
‎All those stories are the same.
‎"And they lived happily ever after." ‎It's so unrealistic.
‎What is your problem with marriage?
‎Nothing. I just haven't seen one ‎work out, that's all.
‎Hmm. How many have you seen?
‎Well, I have first-hand experience ‎of my parents.
‎It's the same old cliché story.
‎They were barely 18 when she got pregnant, ‎and my dad was old-school,
‎so he did the "right thing" ‎and they got married.
‎Let's just say I didn't have ‎the happiest of childhoods.
‎It's just the atmosphere ‎in the house and the fights.
‎They were trapped in an unhappy marriage ‎and it was my fault.
‎[Albie snoring]
‎[sighs] Albie, it's bedtime.
‎Albie, hey.
‎Keep your hands off me, woman.
‎[Frank] Time for bed, Uncle Albie.
‎-[Albie] Oh. ‎-[giggles]
‎-There you go. ‎-[Albie groans]
‎It's okay.
‎[Albie groaning]
‎["Wat Is 'n Huis" playing]
‎SLOWLY
‎Come on, Frank. ‎You've done this a million times.
‎[sighs]
‎Hey! Frankie Footloose in the house.
‎You look snazzy.
‎-What can I say? ‎-[chuckles]
‎Thank you.
‎-Wow, that's pretty. ‎-Thank you.
‎It's better to just keep things simple.
‎Will we get to taste it?
‎Yes, there's a whole ‎cake-cutting ceremony.
‎We need it for the photos.
‎Oh, thank you.
‎Hmm. What's that?
‎Well, at a real wedding, they keep ‎two slices for the bridal couple
‎that they can eat a year later ‎on their first wedding anniversary.
‎Sweet.
‎For a real wedding, of course.
‎It was always special for me
‎that something that I created ‎will be with them for that first year.
‎As if I were part of a family, ‎just for a while.
‎It's silly, I know.
‎No, I don't think it's silly.
‎Oh, I need to get dressed.
‎We can't keep our guests waiting, ‎fake wedding or not.
‎-Here we go. ‎-[chuckles]
‎[sighs] Okay, you two… showtime.
‎[opera music playing]
‎Remember, you have ‎a trouser fitting later today.
‎[sighs] This Bride of the Year ‎business is hard work.
‎Don't worry, babe. ‎It'll be worth it when we win.
‎-[chuckles] ‎-If we win. [sighs]
‎When we win.
‎I never come second, you got it?
‎Zander, don't forget. ‎You have a trouser fitting later today.
‎I already reminded him, Mom.
‎"Mams."
‎-[giggles] ‎-[phone chimes]
‎[gasps] I knew something was going on.
‎-What? ‎-This is a Martin photo.
‎Look at the watermark.
‎And the only people who hire Martin--
‎Are people who want to win the title.
‎Oh, please. She will never enter. ‎Not after all the drama.
‎She definitely has a bone to pick with us.
‎-It's your bone she wants to pick. ‎-[sighs]
‎-[phone rings] ‎-[chuckles]
‎Norma, my angel.
‎Listen, I can't talk right now. ‎I'm getting ready for a shoot.
‎For my ex-daughter-in-law's wedding?
‎[gasps]
‎Are you psychic?
‎Oh, Martin, love. Be a darling ‎and send me a pin, please, sweetie?
‎["Wedding March" playing]
‎-[romantic acoustic music plays] ‎-["Wedding March'' fades out]
‎[guests gasp]
‎You're catching flies, my boy.
‎[sighs]
‎["Lief" playing]
‎I never had a daughter ‎that I could share this moment with.
‎Thank you for making us part ‎of your big day.
‎[sniffles] Thank you.
‎[song continues]
‎-You look beautiful. ‎-Thanks. [sighs]
‎I give you my whole heart. I am yours.
‎Forever.
‎I want to grow old with you and dance ‎until we have blisters on our feet.
‎For as long as I live, I'm yours, Lienkie.
‎[chuckles]
‎I declare you now husband and wife.
‎You may kiss the bride.
‎[song stops]
‎Uh, what?
‎You have to kiss the bride.
‎-Uh, okay. We'll take it slow. ‎-Mm-hmm.
‎Oh. Ooh.
‎-[chuckles] ‎-[guests laughing]
‎Excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
‎Whoa. Hey, hi, you two.
‎This isn't your first time.
‎Maybe not in front of an audience, ‎but it's like riding a bike.
‎Try again. Deep breath.
‎Go for it.
‎["Lief" playing]
‎[guests cheering, applauding]
‎Party time!
‎[cheering]
‎Well, now I see ‎how you manage to fool people.
‎You're one to talk, Sandra Prinsloo.
‎I don't like lying to people like this.
‎Hey, it's just ‎a pretend wedding, remember?
‎["H2Oë" playing]
‎[no audible dialogue]
‎[song continues]
‎[song ends]
‎[Frank] See you. Drive safe.
‎[inhales, exhales] That was, uh…
‎-[chuckles] ‎-[exhales] That was absolutely incredible.
‎[inhales] The judges will lap it up.
‎And the kiss?
‎How was that?
‎I mean, was it believable?
‎I almost fell for it.
‎I'll submit the registration form ‎as soon as possible.
‎Okay, great.
‎[sighs]
‎Good night, my darling wife.
‎Good night, husband dearest.
‎[gentle music playing]
‎[sighs] Frank.
‎[sighs]
‎[chattering]
‎Naomi?
‎Naomi Esterhuyzen. [sighs]
‎Norma.
‎Norma Prinsloo. We were both ‎in Bride of the Year, 1989.
‎[Naomi gasps, chuckles]
‎You… You look healthy.
‎-Thank you. ‎-[Naomi chuckles]
‎-Not quite as healthy as you. [chuckles] ‎-[chuckles]
‎I read somewhere that you are judging ‎this year's competition.
‎Yes, indeed. [chuckles] ‎Must say, no easy task.
‎I can imagine.
‎Why don't we share a salad and catch up. ‎What do you say?
‎But I was under the impression ‎that you loathed me
‎because I won back then.
‎Naomi, don't be ridiculous.
‎It was an absolute honor ‎to be your first princess back in the day.
‎-[chuckles] ‎-[chuckles] Can you believe it?
‎[gentle music playing]
‎REGISTER FOR BRIDE OF THE YEAR ‎2026 COUPLES DETAILS
‎YOUR WEDDING STORY ‎SEND PROFILE
‎-[computer dings] ‎-[sighs]
‎["Beurtkrag (Volle sirkel)" playing]
‎SWEET TOOTH
‎[song continues]
‎Hi. Welcome. Come in.
‎Thank you. Have a seat, here. ‎I'll be right with you.
‎Thank you.
‎[song continues]
‎Huh?
‎[coughing]
‎[coughing continues]
‎SWEET TOOTH
‎[chuckles]
‎-Morning. ‎-Morning.
‎[song ends]
‎-Finally. They've closed up the hole. ‎-Mmm.
‎Mmm.
‎-[gasps] ‎-What? Bad news?
‎I don't understand why you ‎and your wife don't live together.
‎I've already explained to you. ‎We're doing a short-distance relationship.
‎Do you know how great it is when your wife ‎lives five minutes away from you?
‎Well, she could at least ‎come and visit you.
‎Lienkie is a busy woman, Auntie.
‎-She's neglecting you. ‎-[sighs]
‎Maybe her and I should have a little chat.
‎-[phone ringing] ‎-That won't be necessary.
‎See? She's calling me now.
‎Excuse me.
‎I don't think I trust this.
‎Why are you so quiet?
‎-I'm thinking. ‎-Hmm.
‎Hello, my wifey.
‎We're in! We won Bride of the Month!
‎-What? ‎-Thank you! [exclaims]
‎Yes. Yeah!
‎We're Bride of the Month!
‎-Yay! ‎-Yes!
‎[cheering]
‎Of the? Of the month?
‎-Of the month. Of the month. [chuckles] ‎-Oh.
‎[classical music playing]
‎Bride of the Month!
‎[Zander groans]
‎-Lienkie? ‎-Johannika.
‎On the iPad.
‎Guys, something's wrong.
‎[Norma] Hmm.
‎[Zander exhales]
‎Martin deserves all the credit. ‎His photos saved that low-class wedding.
‎-How can you be so calm? ‎-[grunts]
‎This is… It makes me so… [inhales]
‎I have so many emotions ‎at the moment. [breathes shakily]
‎Babe, you look hungry. Eat something.
‎Don't worry. I've got this under control.
‎Naomi, hello, my friend.
‎[uplifting music playing]
‎[Frank chuckles]
‎Excuse me. I'm looking for a sweet tooth ‎who won Bride of the Month today.
‎[shrieks]
‎The enemy is getting annihilated.
‎Okay, Energizer Bunny. Come on.
‎[gasps] Oh.
‎-Now it's official. ‎-[gasps]
‎Oh, man. I love it.
‎-Beautiful. ‎-Aw.
‎Okay, we have a month left ‎before the grand finale.
‎Wow. A bride with a plan!
‎Several.
‎Ugh. Sorry, I forgot to put up the sign. ‎We're closed--
‎-Pensioners' Day is Wednesday. ‎-[chuckles]
‎Lienkie.
‎To my surprise, ‎I'm here to congratulate you.
‎Oh, uh…
‎Thanks.
‎And you must be the gloom and groom.
‎Wow, you can read.
‎[chuckles] Oh, where are my manners?
‎This is Naomi Esterhuyzen ‎from Bride of the Year.
‎Hello.
‎-Oh, hi! ‎-[Naomi giggles]
‎I've never met ‎an actual Bride of the Year.
‎-[Naomi chuckles] ‎-Beautiful inside and out, hmm?
‎Thank you. [chuckles]
‎How can I help?
‎I noticed you didn't send us ‎your marriage certificate.
‎Oh, and that's vitally important.
‎I'm sure there's a simple explanation.
‎Yeah, um, ‎we're still waiting for our, um, copy.
‎[Lienkie] Hmm. Mmm.
‎All good. [chuckles] ‎As long as we have it by next week.
‎-A copy of the certificate? ‎-[Naomi] Hmm.
‎[stutters] By next week?
‎-[Naomi] Mm-hmm. ‎-Is that a problem?
‎[both] No, no, no.
‎[Lienkie] Not at all.
‎[chuckles] Now that's a relief.
‎-[Lienkie chuckles] ‎-Apparently, it takes forever.
‎As long as it has all ‎the official signatures and stamps.
‎We don't want you to miss the deadline ‎or you'll be disqualified.
‎Thank you for the good advice.
‎It would be a disaster ‎if we allowed pretend weddings.
‎All right.
‎I'll flip your sign over on my way out ‎so everyone knows you're closed.
‎-See you. [chuckles] ‎-Bye.
‎So do you think they know ‎the wedding was fake?
‎Well, it was.
‎Not helping.
‎What if we told them ‎Home Affairs said it got lost?
‎There would still be ‎a record of registration somewhere.
‎-Not helping. ‎-Okay.
‎Surely you know someone ‎who can forge a marriage certificate.
‎I mean, you have criminal connections.
‎Excuse me, what does that mean?
‎Okay, don't act like you're an angel. ‎You did steal my credit card.
‎You literally blackmailed me ‎into marrying you.
‎-It's not like you had a gun to your head. ‎-Hey!
‎Not helping.
‎-We'll have to get married. ‎-We'll have to withdraw.
‎Lienkie… [chuckles] …do you hear yourself?
‎You wanna get married, ‎really married, for what?
‎-A stupid contest? ‎-We have to.
‎We've come too far to give up now.
‎If we withdraw, ‎do you know what will happen?
‎Nothing. Literally nothing! Tell her.
‎You forget that we're famous.
‎They'll do a story about the flop bride.
‎And Norma and Zander ‎will have a field day,
‎and everyone will know ‎that no one wants to marry me
‎and that I'll be alone forever.
‎What are you talking about? ‎You're not alone, stupid.
‎Open your eyes. ‎You have me, you have Estelle--
‎That means nothing!
‎[somber music playing]
‎Nothing?
‎Okay. [sighs]
‎Where are you going?
‎Back to my normal life where I can ‎be alone without hysterical drama queens.
‎Yes, of course. ‎Because people are such hard work.
‎Yes, well, some of them.
‎You're not a rolling stone. ‎You're a coward.
‎-What the hell, Lienkie? ‎-Mommy and Daddy were mean to me,
‎so now I'll hide for the rest of my life ‎and feel sorry for myself. Grow up, man!
‎You're the first person ‎I ever told about that.
‎[Frank sighs]
‎[scoffs]
‎["Wat Is 'n Huis" playing]
‎[people chattering on television]
‎Lienks?
‎How many episodes of ‎Boer Soek 'n Vrou‎ can you binge?
‎Get up.
‎[song continues]
‎She's just given up, so fix it.
‎The forged marriage certificate.
‎You can give it to her.
‎I don't have time for this.
‎Okay.
‎Look, I… I love her to death,
‎but why do you think ‎Lienkie is the way she is?
‎Because she thinks ‎happiness is something you plan.
‎And she's scared of being alone.
‎Like you.
‎[sighs] Cool, man.
‎If this works, ‎she'll need you for the final round.
‎Whatever.
‎[song continues]
‎[heart monitor beeping]
‎I thought only family were allowed.
‎[sighs] Valid.
‎So I guess the certificate worked.
‎Yes. But that's not why I'm here.
‎How is he?
‎Not great.
‎Heart failure.
‎-You should have told me. ‎-Well, I'm not talking to you, Lienkie.
‎I wouldn't want to talk to me either.
‎The moment I said it, I wanted to…
‎I'm really sorry.
‎What can I do to make it up to you?
‎Do you still have your credit card?
‎Why did you decide to help me?
‎Because that's what you needed.
‎I still don't understand why, ‎but it's what you wanted.
‎You're a liar.
‎Was that a thank you?
‎Okay, lone wolf.
‎And here you are, ‎holding Uncle Albie's hand,
‎and you were willing ‎to help me because you care.
‎What can I say? I'm an idiot.
‎So am I.
‎I'll withdraw.
‎At least it'll be my own decision.
‎[groans] Don't even think about it.
‎[exhales] You guys have worked ‎way too hard to get cold feet now.
‎Go, skedaddle. ‎You better go to that competition and win.
‎Someone has to take care of you.
‎I'm on it. I'm on it.
‎We've drawn up a schedule ‎and the first shift is mine.
‎You know, this woman is a sex pest.
‎[chuckles]
‎My back brace is broken.
‎[chuckles]
‎But I'll tolerate her.
‎-Just for your sake. ‎-[inhales] Okay.
‎We have a competition to win.
‎[classical music playing]
‎[sighs] ‎I can't believe we're finally here.
‎[exhales] This place is really fancy.
‎[exhales]
‎Hey. We got this.
‎[Lienkie inhales]
‎[exhales] Another party ‎without any singles,
‎but I love a challenge.
‎[chattering]
‎-Not the hair! ‎-Oh. Sorry, darling. Sorry.
‎[chuckles] No one stands a chance.
‎-[Zander chuckles] ‎-Shame. Aw.
‎[Norma] All the obstacles ‎have been removed. [chuckles]
‎Except for them, Mommy.
‎I thought Mommy took care of it.
‎I thought you were disqualified.
‎But we weren't.
‎It was some joyless old hag ‎trying to eliminate the competition.
‎They have our marriage certificate.
‎That's impossible.
‎I am going to report you for…
‎-For-- ‎-Happiness?
‎[hostess] Welcome. Welcome, everyone.
‎All the guests may go inside.
‎Finalists, please take your places.
‎You won't even make the top three.
‎Then you have nothing to worry about.
‎Out of the way, Granny.
‎Zan-Zan.
‎-[Zander grunts] ‎-[Norma gasps]
‎[hostess] Ladies and gentlemen,
‎welcome to this year's ‎Bride of the Year gala event
‎where the 2026 Bride of the Year ‎will be crowned.
‎But before we get to that special moment,
‎we first want to hear from the grooms ‎of these lovely ladies
‎what it was that made them fall in love ‎with their wives in the first place.
‎Let's welcome our first groom.
‎[applauding]
‎[exhales]
‎And then I saw her with a little puppy.
‎When I saw her holding my adorable niece…
‎Then I saw her holding my adorable niece ‎and a little puppy in her arms.
‎And when our eyes met…
‎-And when our eyes met… ‎-And when our eyes met…
‎-I knew… ‎-I knew.
‎I knew.
‎[all] I loved her.
‎-[groans] Okay. ‎-Shoot me.
‎Evening, everyone.
‎Can I just say, you all look stunning.
‎Judges.
‎Naomi.
‎I met my wifey at work.
‎We worked many late nights together.
‎[clicks tongue, chuckles]
‎And I noticed how she excelled in Excel.
‎-[chuckles] ‎-[guests laugh]
‎I mean, she's really cute, ‎and, uh, flippin' hot.
‎[chuckles]
‎[Zander] And, babe…
‎I fell head over heels in love with you.
‎[Naomi chuckles]
‎-[microphone feedback] ‎-[Frank grunts]
‎[sighs]
‎[microphone feedback]
‎[guest coughs]
‎The first time I saw Lienkie ‎was with a little puppy.
‎[guest coughs]
‎When our eyes met,
‎and I saw that her and my niece got along…
‎I just realized that, um…
‎[sighs]
‎I realized… [sighs]
‎I'm lying.
‎[guests muttering]
‎We say all these things because we think ‎that's what you want to hear,
‎but the truth is, ‎I don't even believe in love.
‎[guests gasp]
‎Or that's what I thought ‎before I met Lienkie.
‎She drove me crazy at first.
‎And not in a good way, ‎if you catch my drift. [chuckles]
‎It was a… a rough start.
‎But here we are.
‎Lienkie is a baker and she bakes ‎the most incredible wedding cakes.
‎But the process is so messy.
‎There's flour everywhere.
‎And your hands are covered in butter ‎and sugar and egg and…
‎I don't understand it. It's so ‎unpredictable, but afterwards it's…
‎you have something that you want to share ‎with everyone around you.
‎With family and friends.
‎[sighs]
‎It's just like love.
‎I want to share everything with Lienkie.
‎Because I love you.
‎Her.
‎I love her.
‎[guests cheering]
‎Frank?
‎I need some fresh air, okay?
‎-[sighs] ‎-[water running]
‎[door opens, closes]
‎-[applauding] ‎-[water stops]
‎Mmm.
‎Nice speech, bro.
‎Are you looking for a fight, huh?
‎Aren't you washing your hands? Gross.
‎Maybe when you stop breastfeeding.
‎What's your story, pal? ‎Is this Lienkie's, uh… [chuckles]
‎…idea of revenge?
‎You'll have to ask her.
‎Let me tell you, hmm…
‎how this is going to play out.
‎Ooh. [chuckles] I'm listening.
‎You will get into your little car, hmm,
‎and go back to where you came from.
‎And what if I told you to go to hell?
‎[Zander grunts]
‎Hmm?
‎Listen, I'm a reasonable man, okay? ‎What is… What is your price?
‎[scoffs] You and Mommy can't afford me.
‎Try me. Go.
‎Okay. [inhales]
‎Some of those hair implants, ‎some of that fake tan,
‎Botox under the eyes, you know…
‎The yacht life. Boop.
‎Speaking of yachts, we actually own one.
‎In fact, we own two.
‎All you have to do is withdraw.
‎Sent another man running?
‎He was raised better than that.
‎Ladies and gentlemen, can all finalists ‎please come to the dance floor?
‎It's time to announce the top three.
‎[Norma] So near, and yet so far.
‎[scoffs]
‎Some people will never win.
‎Norma.
‎I think you dropped this.
‎-[gasps] ‎-Boop.
‎I was really worried you'd ‎change your mind.
‎Drinks on Norma tonight.
‎[Naomi] Congratulations to all ‎our beautiful finalists.
‎Remember, making it to the top 12 ‎is already a great honor.
‎The top three of ‎Bride of the Year 2026 are…
‎[suspenseful music playing]
‎[exhales]
‎Zander and Johannika.
‎Yes!
‎[chuckles, cheers, gasps]
‎-Kobus and Tertia! ‎-[laughs]
‎And…
‎-Deep breath. ‎-[both inhale]
‎-Frank and Lienkie! ‎-[both gasp]
‎[cheering]
‎Big, big congratulations to the top three.
‎We're going to ask you now to share ‎that special moment with us
‎when you opened the dance floor ‎at your weddings.
‎Okay.
‎[classical music playing]
‎-Ooh. ‎-Sorry.
‎-Everything okay? ‎-Yeah, I just want it to be perfect.
‎[both inhale]
‎Are we doing this the right way ‎or rather our own way?
‎What do you mean?
‎Are you ready for the move?
‎Now?
‎Lienkie?
‎Lienkie! No!
‎Hey, DJ!
‎Put on "Rough Bastard."
‎That won't be necessary. You can just…
‎-[music stops] ‎-Zander…
‎♪ ‎At Buffelsfontein ‎We get honky-tonk young‎ ♪
‎Lienkie!
‎♪ ‎If we aren't careful tonight ‎We'll end up in jail again, oh-way-oh ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Let me go, oh-way-oh‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Let's go wild‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Here we're getting ‎Thrown out again tonight‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎I'll lose another girl‎ ♪
‎[Frank] Your dancing has improved.
‎-♪ ‎You roughneck‎ ♪ ‎-[Frank] Must be your new partner.
‎♪ ‎There it is, that's it, you roughneck ‎♪
‎[cheers] Come on, come on!
‎Come on, come on.
‎-[song continues] ‎-[Frank] Yes.
‎♪ ‎I can hear the cock crying already ‎♪
‎♪ ‎That's from delving into the bottle ‎♪
‎[scoffs]
‎♪ ‎Has Meyer started to doze off‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎No, he's still oiling his beard‎ ♪
‎♪ ‎Oh, then the roughneck's ‎Going to party ‎♪
‎-♪ ‎Fasten your belt my friend‎ ♪ ‎-[grunts]
‎♪ ‎Take me drunk, I'm going home ‎♪
‎♪ ‎Hold me tight ‎Or I'll dance myself to death‎ ♪
‎I meant every word.
‎-[song stops] ‎-Stop! Stop this right now!
‎[exhales]
‎These two don't belong here.
‎She was left at the altar ‎only a few months ago.
‎And now, out of the blue, ‎she's married again.
‎To this man of all people.
‎Impossible. [chuckles]
‎Lienkie…
‎you wouldn't even win at a dog show, ‎let alone Bride of the Year.
‎You wish you could ‎be as amazing as Lienkie.
‎Just because you didn't win this, ‎now you're taking it out on everyone else.
‎[melancholy music playing]
‎There are more important things ‎in life than Bride of the Year.
‎Uh-uh!
‎-We're not married. ‎-[guests gasp]
‎Ah.
‎Okay, it gets worse. ‎I did it for the wrong reasons.
‎To get revenge on the Prinsloos.
‎All I ever wanted was a family, ‎and they stepped on that dream.
‎But I didn't realize that Frank was ‎the hero that I was actually waiting for.
‎Mr. Rolling Stone… [chuckles]
‎…who attracts everyone to him.
‎[guests] Aw.
‎The most honest liar I know.
‎[chuckles]
‎-And I finally found my happy place. ‎-[Frank chuckles]
‎And it isn't about winning ‎or about losing.
‎["Huis" playing]
‎[guests cheering]
‎We're withdrawing. We are out.
‎Ooh.
‎Oh, yes! ‎Zander was sleeping with Johannika
‎while I was waiting for him at the altar!
‎-It's a lie! ‎-That's not what happened!
‎I'll send you the pictures. Bye!
‎It's Prinsloos!
‎[song continues]
‎[church bell ringing]
‎[giggling]
‎ORPHANAGE
‎[no audible dialogue]
‎[song continues]
‎[song ends]
‎-[bell tolls] ‎-[cheerful music playing]
‎[cheerful music continues]
‎[song ends]