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[country music]

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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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- Hey!
- [music fades]

5
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[woman] Hey, Markie,
good to see you.

6
00:00:18,291 --> 00:00:20,625
Oh, oh-ho, this is Pumpkin here.

7
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Yeah, um, give him
a good ride because

8
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,375
he only has two days
left to live

9
00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:27,041
and, uh, his best friend
just died.

10
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- Oh.
- [woman] He's not well. Hey, but you guys

11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,458
have so much fun.

12
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And don't let him drive.
[chuckles awkwardly] Okay.

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- No worry.
- [woman] Bye, Pumpkin.

14
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Come here. Hey.
[whistles]

15
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Bye.

16
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,166
[music continues]

17
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You know, Pumpkin,
the good news is

18
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at least you had a best friend.

19
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I never had that kinda luck.

20
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Folks don't really take to me.

21
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I kinda drive 'em away.

22
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You're kinda quiet, bud.

23
00:00:52,958 --> 00:00:54,750
This is your last lap, so what
do you want to do?

24
00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,375
- [barks]
- Okay.

25
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,541
- Whatever you want.
- [tires screeching]

26
00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:00,666
[engine revving]

27
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Oh, you want to go faster?

28
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- All right.
- [barks]

29
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- Yeah!
- [barks]

30
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- Really?
- [barks]

31
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Okay.

32
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You're kind of a dick, dude.

33
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,166
Yeah, hit it.

34
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:16,875
Hurry up, twin!

35
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Come on, we got a big day.

36
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Hey, tag me in, boss!

37
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- [music fades]
- [school bell ringing]

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[woman] Hippos are a bloat.

39
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A group of bees
is called a swarm.

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[boy] <i>"Dear Dad, not sure if</i>
<i>you're getting my letters.</i>

41
00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:40,625
<i>I really miss you.</i>
<i>Mom isn't the same."</i>

42
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And a group of pigs
is a police station.

43
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[all chuckling]

44
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Yeah.

45
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:48,916
Steef, pay attention.

46
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- Eyes up front.
- Uh...

47
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Can you tell me what
a group of crows is called?

48
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It's called a murder.

49
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And you know what, Steef?

50
00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:01,750
A hint on how
you can memorize murder?

51
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- Think of your dad.
- [slow music]

52
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Isn't your dad
in prison for murder?

53
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- So crow
- [scribbling]

54
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equals Steef's dad.

55
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- [class chuckling]
- [scribbling]

56
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[whispering] I heard his dad
was a drug dealer.

57
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[whispering] I heard people
are trying to kill him

58
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because of his dad.

59
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[Steef]
Guess I'm not that dumb.

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Figured which letters
to erase in my head.

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You forgot the W.

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[Steef] I'm dropping out.

63
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- [car approaching]
- [music fades]

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[tires screeching]

65
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[engine rumbling]

66
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:39,083
- [Markie] Uh...
- Who's that, your girlfriend?

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[chuckles]

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Good one.
What are you guys up to today?

69
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,291
Just did
some looting this morning.

70
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I think we found Jon Benet's
wedding dress.

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[man coughing]

72
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- Hey, are you okay back there?
- [man] What do you care?

73
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Why don't you shove
that dog up your ass?

74
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Hey, be cool.
He's got-- he's got cancer.

75
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That truck's got cancer.

76
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You should call it
Not-enough-car, Not-enough-truck.

77
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I got a Mercedes lined up.

78
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This is kind of a rental right
now, but...

79
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It's a nice dream.

80
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You know, you're going
to wake up in the backseat

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with your-- with your dick
in your hand.

82
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- [contained laughter]
- Oh, whoops, sorry.

83
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You don't have
a backseat or a dick.

84
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Yeah, I'm-- I'm gonna cruise.

85
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- Take care, dudes.
- All right, stay black, bitch.

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[man coughing]

87
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- [engine revving]
- [tires screeching]

88
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Have fun at Jiffy Lube.

89
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,833
- [slow music]
- [kids playfully screaming]

90
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Hey, you need a hall pass.

91
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[Steef] I'm dropping out.

92
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- Screw y'all.
- [honking]

93
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- [tires screech]
- [loud thud]

94
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[screaming]

95
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- [machines beeping]
- [music fades]

96
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I'm his mother.
Made him with my own vagina,

97
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if that's okay with you.

98
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[panting]

99
00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,416
- He's alive?
- [chuckles]

100
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:01,125
Someone said he
was dead on text.

101
00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:02,500
Did you save him?

102
00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:04,708
Yeah.
I think he got hit by a car.

103
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:06,708
What happened was, uh, I saw him
on the side of the road,

104
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:09,875
and then I carried him and
brought him here in my truck.

105
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[typing and reading]
"He is not dead yet.

106
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Y'all are so dumb, LOL, BRB."

107
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You're a savior.

108
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He probably
won't make it, though.

109
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[typing and reading] "Doesn't
look good, prob dead."

110
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- Oh, God.
- You're here.

111
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Did you get the insurance deal?

112
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I just printed it.
It's the free one,

113
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but it covers indoor lighting,
and room-temp water deaths.

114
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Did he drown?

115
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[woman] Looks wet.

116
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Oh, God, he drowned.

117
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No, I'm-- I--
I think he's gonna be okay.

118
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I don't know.
Our family dies easily.

119
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God, I loved him.

120
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And you'll love
that insurance money.

121
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I know what you're gonna get.

122
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- Hmm.
- Something God didn't

123
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,791
give us 'cause he don't love us.

124
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Are you going to take the
insurance money

125
00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:55,166
to buy yourself a wiener?

126
00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:56,625
Why, are you selling?

127
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,333
No, I need mine.

128
00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,750
What do you need it for?

129
00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:01,916
Yeah, what do you need it for?

130
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,083
[chuckling]

131
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:06,083
[mom] All right, got to run.

132
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Ponderosa's having
crab leg night,

133
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,000
and we get one free <i>entrée</i>if
we're there by five. [chuckles]

134
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,833
- Ah.
- [sipping]

135
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,291
All right, I'll hang with him.
I'll-- I'll

136
00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,916
- keep an eye on him.
- [woman] Let's go.

137
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,125
[mom] Can't believe he's dead.
[light chuckle]

138
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:19,833
- [machines beeping]
- [sighs]

139
00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:25,500
Did my mom stop by?

140
00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:26,875
Um...

141
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:29,041
No, I don't think so yet.

142
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But, you know,
I'm sure she will.

143
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,125
I'd be surprised if she does.

144
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:34,916
So what's your name?

145
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,500
Steef, with an F.

146
00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:39,958
Steve?
Where's the F at the end?

147
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,125
Steve. Stevef?

148
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:43,791
- Steef.
- Stevef?

149
00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:46,208
- Steef.
- I'm saying it, Stevef.

150
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:47,375
Am I saying something different?

151
00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:48,583
Steef.

152
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,000
[machines beeping]

153
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,708
Steef, do I have to
spell it out?

154
00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:53,875
- Yes.
- S-T-E-E-F.

155
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,958
- Wrong.
- It's Steef.

156
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:59,500
Well, that's good.
Steef is... yeah-- I'm Markie.

157
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,791
So I don't know what to do.
Do you want me to

158
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,291
...call your school,
say you're not coming or?

159
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:05,500
I-- I just quit.

160
00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:08,666
If you wanna
come down to my job,

161
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,125
we're always looking
for a new hand.

162
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:12,083
Do you like fancy restaurants?

163
00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:14,083
[rock music]

164
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:17,416
[restaurant ambience]

165
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:28,875
[car approaching]

166
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,125
[bubbling]

167
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,833
No reverb.

168
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,791
[man] Yeah, some pumps pumping.

169
00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,916
[man 2] Hey, Mr. Troy,
I just wanna say thanks

170
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,083
for all the work, man. It's a
blessing to be working here

171
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:03,666
near fine dining, isn't it?

172
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,833
Oh, yeah.

173
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,583
I was kinda wondering if, um...

174
00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:09,083
...maybe you could help me with,
like, a raise

175
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,500
or some benefits
or something, uh... [stutters]

176
00:07:11,666 --> 00:07:13,166
Inflation's been
kicking my butt,

177
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,916
and my mom's on my case,
about paying for her sex change.

178
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,958
Yeah, uh...
In due time, pal, okay?

179
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,375
In due time.

180
00:07:21,791 --> 00:07:23,250
I don't think you remember
a couple of years ago,

181
00:07:23,416 --> 00:07:24,833
I was giving you
a college credit.

182
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,083
Yeah. It was awful nice of you.

183
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:28,875
- I should have been in college.
- [crunching]

184
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:30,208
[bubbling]

185
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:33,416
Listen... [sighs]

186
00:07:33,708 --> 00:07:37,375
...the truth of the matter is,
I can't put your legal name down

187
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,875
on payroll because somebody
might know your daddy

188
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,375
and come snooping around.

189
00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:43,875
And I don't need
that kind of aggravation.

190
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:45,750
But I'll tell you what
I will do...

191
00:07:47,791 --> 00:07:48,875
Two fist pumps.

192
00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,375
Here we go. There you go.

193
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,750
Boom, boom.
[imitates shooting noise]

194
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,375
- Feel better?
- [bubbling]

195
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,250
Ah, listen to that flow.

196
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:57,500
It's beautiful.

197
00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:58,833
[deep bubbling]

198
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,583
Whoa, spoke too soon.

199
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:04,166
- That sounds like...
- [bubbling continues]

200
00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:05,750
Bichon bones?

201
00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:07,750
Nah, I know that rattle.

202
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,166
Jeez, I wish this was Jeopardy.

203
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,375
I'd win, right?

204
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,500
What are dentures, Alex?

205
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,833
It happens a lot.

206
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,083
Some dude squeezes
out a big dump

207
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,291
and then, uh, he turns around to
peep his bulwark and plop.

208
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,458
His teeth fall in.

209
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,500
Yeah. Alex is dead.

210
00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:24,083
I think his wife killed him.

211
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,708
- No.
- Speaking of death,

212
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:30,000
Markie's worrying himself into
an early grave, sir.

213
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:32,083
He's got to take Pam on an
anniversary date this week

214
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,416
and he doesn't know
what to get her.

215
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:34,625
[deep bubbling]

216
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:36,500
[Troy] Oh, jeez.

217
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:37,875
Give it a kick, will you?

218
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,458
- [thud]
- Yeah.

219
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:42,333
- Yeah.
- Boom.

220
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,291
Good kick, but you're gonna
need a hammer for that bulge.

221
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,708
- There you go.
- Oh,

222
00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:48,125
bet I can get it in six swings.

223
00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,625
No way. There's too much
BM in there.

224
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:51,875
But you know what?

225
00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:55,708
You want a raise,
so I will bet you $20

226
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,041
that it takes you ten swings.

227
00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,625
You're on.

228
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:00,916
Hey, Markie.

229
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,875
Ooh, he says four swings.

230
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,416
Hammer time.

231
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,625
- [deep thuds]
- [Markie] Yeah.

232
00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:07,791
Go.

233
00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:09,000
Yeah.

234
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,250
- Boom.
- [deep rumbling]

235
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,208
Oh, it's moving. Four!

236
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,416
- [grunting playfully]
- [Troy] You know something, pal?

237
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:17,125
You are the Thor of pipe shit.

238
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,333
- Thanks, Mr. Troy.
- [rock music playing]

239
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,791
- I feel good.
- [honking]

240
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,625
Hey, what's up, Terry?

241
00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:26,250
What's up, Steef? My dad got
y'all herding shit logs.

242
00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:28,166
You little Australian
shit shepherd--

243
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,000
ship-- shepherd, shep-shit...

244
00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,416
The-- The sheep that
chase around the--

245
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:33,333
you know what I'm saying.
You and Mark

246
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,041
are a bunch of
shit-wrangling butt birds

247
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,625
and that's all y'all
ever gonna be.

248
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,000
[bubbling]

249
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,708
At least your dad's
around, Terry.

250
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,958
Your dad's still in prison?
Maybe if you were cooler,

251
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:43,500
he might not have
went to prison.

252
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:44,666
You ever think about that?

253
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:45,875
[Markie] Hey, whoa.

254
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,375
Come on, can it, Terry.

255
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,208
You gonna help?
You want to grab a shovel?

256
00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,291
Or you're just gonna be a dick?

257
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:52,291
Help you? Do this shit?

258
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,083
Suck out crapper tanks
for a living? [scoffs]

259
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:56,208
Hell nah.
I would never do that.

260
00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,166
That's a job for stanky-ass,
trailer-trash folks

261
00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:00,458
like yourself.
No offense, Dad.

262
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,500
I hope you change
your mind one day, son.

263
00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:05,250
Shit, I'm never doing any of
this goddamn bullshit.

264
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:06,916
You want me to suck
out some butt funk?

265
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:09,041
I'm freaking outta here, dude.

266
00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:11,166
Have fun with them turds
and [indistinct].

267
00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,416
Plus, I'm working on my YouTube
channel.

268
00:10:13,708 --> 00:10:15,458
Cardi B liked one of my stories.

269
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:16,958
Y'all ever heard of Logan Paul?

270
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,500
How about you suck
on these Logan balls?

271
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:20,666
Call the weatherman.
I'm dating a squirter.

272
00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,166
100% chance of...
[imitates splat] Oof...

273
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,791
Make sure to like, share,
and subscribe, pussy.

274
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,083
- More like block.
- Suck my dick.

275
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:29,666
Not you, Dad.

276
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:30,875
Later, Terry.

277
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,750
What up, bitches?
Welcome back to my channel.

278
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:36,250
- [engine revving]
- [hype music]

279
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,291
What's up, chat, Terry
getting lifted into lifting.

280
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:40,958
And if you're feeling gifted,

281
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:43,375
give me your dad's
credit card information.

282
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:44,958
- [chuckles] Oh!
- [honking]

283
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,125
Subscribe!

284
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,333
[crashing]

285
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,875
[objects rattling]

286
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:54,750
That's lunch.

287
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:55,958
Is it? Okay...

288
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,166
[slow music]

289
00:10:58,916 --> 00:10:59,958
All right.

290
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,125
- [crying]
- [indistinct murmuring]

291
00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:06,708
He's in a better place.

292
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,750
You think so?

293
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,666
Thank you.

294
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:12,500
Indeed.
God hit that subscribe button

295
00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,166
- and brought him home.
- [sobs]

296
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,208
- [Steef] Yeah.
- [Troy] Oh.

297
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,916
Who knew we'd be
working here today?

298
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:19,875
- What are the odds?
- I know.

299
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,458
Folks, I'm sorry,
but a contract's a contract.

300
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:24,916
I love my son.

301
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,541
I miss him.

302
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,708
I'm gonna start it up, boys.

303
00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:30,875
[deep bubbling]

304
00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:36,791
Here we go.

305
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:39,791
Shit, that better not be Terry.

306
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,958
A young angel
who lived life with zest.

307
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,208
- [car approaching]
- [honking]

308
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:46,666
- Hey!
- [Markie] Is that your mom?

309
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:48,000
Where's my dick?

310
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,416
- Hey...
- Mom.

311
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,125
Where's my cock money?

312
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,458
- [Steef] We're working.
- [mom] That's funny.

313
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,500
I don't see any poop pipes.

314
00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:57,250
- Yeah, 'cause
they're underground. - [priest] A young angel

315
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,166
- who lived life with zest.
- [mom] Oh, how convenient.

316
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:02,500
You two are over here playing
Michael Shit-Myer's,

317
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:04,250
not making any cash,

318
00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:07,500
and I'm sitting around
on this boring pussy all day.

319
00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,125
- Okay, okay.
- [priest] A Chinese proverb tells us

320
00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:11,916
the best time to plant a tree...

321
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:13,250
[Steef] Mom, just call me.

322
00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:14,916
- ...is 20 years ago.
- [bubbling]

323
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,083
They're talking about me
in all the chat rooms!

324
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,708
Jesus fucking Christ.

325
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,125
- Take care.
- [car engine starts]

326
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:21,333
Bye, Mom.

327
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,750
[sighs]
It's good to see your mom.

328
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,958
Yeah, she's doing better.

329
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,125
She's still pissed
that I chickened out

330
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,583
on that insurance
deal at the hospital.

331
00:12:32,791 --> 00:12:34,000
You mean when you lived?

332
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,458
- [chuckles] Yeah.
She's big on loyalty. - Yeah. Hm.

333
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:39,375
A Chinese proverb tells us

334
00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:43,375
the best time to plant
a tree is 20 years ago.

335
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,208
The second best time is now.

336
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:49,833
Wise words.
Words Terry lived by,

337
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,458
and kept in the "about" section

338
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,916
of his YouTube info page.

339
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,333
[brave music]

340
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,875
Don't wait for life
to come to you.

341
00:12:57,333 --> 00:13:00,208
You've got to go out
and grab the life you want

342
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:01,833
before it's too late.

343
00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,250
Yeah.

344
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:05,750
[sighs]

345
00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:10,208
I'm late.

346
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,166
It's okay. No need to be sorry.

347
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,541
Pam, I know we've
been together six months,

348
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,833
so, without further ado...

349
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,375
Oh, I'm fucking starving.

350
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:20,791
Yeah, [stutters] it's pretty

351
00:13:20,958 --> 00:13:22,291
- slammed.
- How we doing, guys?

352
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:24,041
I'm Mikey. I'm gonna
be your waiter tonight.

353
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,291
Could I, uh, get you started
with anything?

354
00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:27,750
All kinds of things.

355
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,125
Can I, uh, get a glass of wine?

356
00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:32,000
Oh, yeah, I can get you
whatever you want.

357
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,708
- I'm a waiter.
- [clink]

358
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,000
[Pam chuckles] Thanks.

359
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,125
Hey, can I get some water?

360
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:43,708
[Mikey] Yeah, there's a water
fountain down the street,

361
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,125
by the park.

362
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,833
But, uh,
why don't I go see about that

363
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,125
- glass of wine?
- [Markie sighs] Yeah,

364
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:51,958
I wanted to say,
is a Chinese proverb--

365
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,208
- Hot plate!
- Ow!

366
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,208
- Fuck! God dang!
- I told you, hot plate.

367
00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:57,666
[Markie] You pushed it
right in my hands.

368
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,625
Ah, shoot, wrong table.

369
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:00,833
My bad.

370
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,666
God damn. Oh, oh...

371
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:03,875
[waitress] Here we--

372
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,666
Oh, I love that necklace.

373
00:14:06,916 --> 00:14:09,333
- Are those diamonds?
- [chuckles] No.

374
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,750
Markie gave it to me.

375
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,583
It's zircon,
and the chain's copper.

376
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,250
Oh, they use copper
to make machine parts,

377
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,125
like hinges and doorknobs.

378
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,791
He stole my heart.

379
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,291
Look what he wrote on it.
"To my sweatheart."

380
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:26,125
- He spelled it "sweat."
- Ooh, [chuckles] come on.

381
00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,000
Say, uh, where's our hot waiter?

382
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:29,583
Hmm, I'll go grab him.

383
00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,000
Hey, save some for me.

384
00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:33,666
- Can't promise.
- [both chuckle lightly]

385
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,125
His eyes might be green,
but he's not.

386
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,083
Plowed through
everyone in this place,

387
00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:40,250
present company included.

388
00:14:40,416 --> 00:14:42,500
[light chuckle]
Lovely to meet you.

389
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,083
Yes.

390
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:47,916
Where was I?
For our anniversary weekend,

391
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,041
I thought we'd
go to Magic Cacti.

392
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,250
I got a room there
for a couple nights,

393
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,208
and I think it'll be
even more magical.

394
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:55,833
- Hot plate, hot plate!
- [plate sizzling]

395
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,208
[Markie screaming in pain]

396
00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:58,708
Don't touch it,
it's a hot plate!

397
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,458
- Take it, take it, take it!
- [sizzling]

398
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,333
- Ow!
- Oh, shoot, wrong table.

399
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,541
Sorry, my bad.

400
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,291
What the fuck? Did--

401
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,458
- Does anyone have any aloe vera?
- No.

402
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,000
[Markie] I want-- I'm sorry, I
wanted to ask you a question.

403
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:11,666
And I just-- everyone keeps
interrupting.

404
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,208
Magic Cacti sounds
boring as shit.

405
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,041
I heard you can't
even smoke there.

406
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,916
- [lighter clicks]
- [Mikey] Here's some bread, buddy.

407
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:21,750
- Did I hear you say Magic Cacti?
- [Pam] Yeah.

408
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,708
Yeah, I'm actually going there
this weekend.

409
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,916
I hear it's so much fun.

410
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,541
I know, just
the word "cacti" is fun.

411
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,083
[waiter]
Dessert, ice cream for two.

412
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,083
- Oh, does that-- Ow!
- [sizzling]

413
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:34,541
- God!
- Hot plate.

414
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,250
Why would ice cream be hot?

415
00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:37,791
- I told him it was a hot plate.
- [Markie groaning]

416
00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:41,000
- [exhaling]
- Alright, my bad, wrong table.

417
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:42,958
- Shit.
- Hey, man,

418
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:44,750
this, uh-- they're towing
your car outside.

419
00:15:44,916 --> 00:15:46,833
- What? My car?
- [Mikey] Yeah. Yeah.

420
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,500
Wha-- What?

421
00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:51,708
G-- Hold on, honey. Does anyone
have aloe vera?

422
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,250
I'll be right back.

423
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,500
- [soft music]
- [restaurant ambiance]

424
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,375
[music fades]

425
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,791
- [tools buzzing in background]
- [tool cranks]

426
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,750
Markie thinks he's so fucking
cool with his Mercedes.

427
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:12,583
It's a piece of shit.
I wouldn't even drive my family

428
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,166
off a cliff in this thing.

429
00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,333
Yeah, I don't understand
why Pam even likes him.

430
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,583
He's dumber than JFK
after the first bullet.

431
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,833
[man]

432
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,708
- [chuckles]
- Oh, lunch bunch, huh?

433
00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:28,333
Oh, I know what'll go with
those. A couple diet sodas.

434
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,416
Keep your kidneys on their toes.

435
00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:31,708
I'll grab 'em.

436
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:36,000
[imitating Steef] "Diet sodas,
fellas. Diet sodas."

437
00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:38,750
He's been a diet soda ever since
he got hit by that car.

438
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,333
[man 2] What a bitch.

439
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,416
Imagine your dad goes to jail

440
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,583
and then instead of your dad
getting out of jail,

441
00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,833
you get hit by a fucking car.

442
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,750
Yeah, I seen that dumbass
walking around like Rain Man

443
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:50,666
- at the funeral yesterday.
- [man 2] Too bad it wasn't

444
00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,125
Markie's funeral.

445
00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:55,791
There you go, fellas.

446
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,125
We were just kidding, man.

447
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,916
Sure. I didn't hear anything.

448
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,916
- JFK like the rapper, right?
- Mm-hmm.

449
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:03,125
[man] Okay.

450
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,250
[clears throat]

451
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:09,041
[Markie crying]

452
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,958
- [Steef] Markie?
- [Markie clears throat]

453
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,166
- You've been crying?
- No, I was just doing

454
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:20,708
an oil change on here.

455
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,041
- [clears throat]
- With your eyes?

456
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,333
- Were you crying 'cause of Pam?
- [Markie] No.

457
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,250
No.

458
00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:27,916
[cries]

459
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:30,000
[gentle music]

460
00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:37,958
Shit.

461
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,041
[deep breath]

462
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,500
It's just these fucking turds

463
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:45,166
are making fun of me
and shitting all over me, and...

464
00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:47,833
...Pam hasn't gotten back to me
for some reason.

465
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,666
Everything's gonna be okay, man.

466
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:52,291
[Markie] This is the ring
I got her. Look at that thing.

467
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,000
- Huh?
- Oh...

468
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,625
- Oh, boy.
- Look at that.

469
00:17:58,083 --> 00:18:00,750
- What side is the diamond on?
- Uh...

470
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,500
I saw it earlier.
Oh, there it is.

471
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,291
[Steef gasps]

472
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:09,583
- That's some real
marriage metal, man. - [Markie] Yeah.

473
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,000
- You two are gonna be so happy.
- [phone buzzes and chimes]

474
00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:13,416
Oh, shit.

475
00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,208
Oh... There she posted it again.

476
00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:19,166
It says, "Ready to celebrate"
with a cactus emoji.

477
00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:21,791
Awesome!

478
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:24,916
She's setting up for your
anniversary at Magic Cacti.

479
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,458
She went early.

480
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,583
Girls love to do that, Markie.

481
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,125
Well, why hasn't she
texted me back?

482
00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,333
[Steef] Suspense.

483
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,166
Haven't you seen <i>Jaws</i>

484
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,916
or <i>Saving Private Ryan?</i>

485
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:39,250
[softly] It's-- Goddamn,
that's right.

486
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,666
That's good.
I like the way you think, man.

487
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,875
Well, shit,
what am I worried about?

488
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,208
Hey, come with us.

489
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,750
Nah, that's just for you two.

490
00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,458
No way. If we get married,

491
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,083
you gotta be my best man.

492
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,375
Wouldn't miss it.

493
00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:54,958
But as soon as we get back,
I gotta lock down

494
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:56,666
my mom's sex change.

495
00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,125
Some of the items
are on sale right now.

496
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,625
Do you think my mom will be
happier when she's my dad?

497
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,250
Or is that dumb?

498
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,291
Kindness is never dumb.

499
00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:09,208
I just wanna have a dad again.

500
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,041
We'll make it happen.

501
00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:12,916
Have I ever let you down?

502
00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,000
- Come on.
- Not yet.

503
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,166
[Markie]
Fuck, dude, <i>Jaws</i>was good.

504
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,625
[Steef] <i>Jaws</i>was all right.

505
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,458
[rock music]

506
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:24,625
I mean, I gotta admit it.
Waiters are cool.

507
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,375
They just are.

508
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,833
I mean, the way
they enter a room,

509
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,458
the way they memorize your order

510
00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:31,500
without writing any shit down.

511
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:33,500
They get free refills.

512
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,166
They steal your chick.

513
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,166
You don't know that, Markie.
You're just guessing.

514
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:39,916
Yeah, I'm just guessing,
but goddamn,

515
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,625
they-- they carry prestige,
you know what I mean?

516
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:44,291
And they make all the money.

517
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,458
We're on the wrong end
of the food chain, bud.

518
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,458
They're on the food end.
We're on the other end,

519
00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:49,916
where the food comes out.

520
00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:52,708
Shit, no wonder Pam
is so enchanted with him.

521
00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:54,375
I get it. They fucking rule.

522
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,708
That's crazy talk.

523
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,416
You're so much better
than you think.

524
00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:00,458
I bet you couldn't name 70
waiters better than you.

525
00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:03,833
- [music continues]
- [engine revving]

526
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:05,666
[eagle screeching]

527
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,583
Rick Spicer. [laughs]

528
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,000
- Yeah.
- [crunching]

529
00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,500
Old Spicedog.

530
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,958
Now, he was a good waiter.

531
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,666
- Yeah.
- Damn.

532
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,750
- R.I.P., huh? Yeah.
- R.I.P. Hmm.

533
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:22,708
Fuck. Only 32 more, man.
This is a sucker bet.

534
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:28,291
[music fades]

535
00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,250
So you're saying
I'm wrong about Pam?

536
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,208
I don't know what I'm saying,

537
00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:34,625
but by guessing
that she's cheating on you,

538
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,000
you're not giving
y'all's love a chance.

539
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,625
I don't wanna be right.

540
00:20:38,791 --> 00:20:40,791
I wanna be wrong,
but like I said,

541
00:20:40,958 --> 00:20:43,625
she hasn't texted or called
in three days going on four.

542
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,583
Hello? Airplane mode.

543
00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:50,666
I always drive
with airplane mode on.

544
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,041
Oh.

545
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,916
A car is just a airplane

546
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,166
without wings on a road.

547
00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:58,291
Brad Forrester, Fuddruckers.

548
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,083
- [laughs]
- [grunts]

549
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,583
- Woo! Ah...
- Good one, man.

550
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:03,125
- R.I.P., man.
- R.I.P.

551
00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:04,375
- Yeah.
- Ugh...

552
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:05,875
Cat attack, huh?

553
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:06,750
- Mm-hmm. I was there.
- [phone chimes]

554
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,541
Oh, shit. Hang on.

555
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:09,791
There you go...

556
00:21:09,958 --> 00:21:11,166
Hey, check my phone.

557
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,500
I think she just posted
something.

558
00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:13,875
[sighs]

559
00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:17,041
<i>Oh, yeah.</i>
<i>Take those fucking pants off.</i>

560
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:18,458
[Steef] Oh, it looks like
they're, uh--

561
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,875
They? He's not
in her stories, is he?

562
00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:22,708
- Oh, it's sickening.
Oh, I'm gonna throw up. - [Pam] <i>Oh, yeah, what's that?</i>

563
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:25,416
- Oh, they're-- oh...
- [Pam moans] <i>Serve me</i>

564
00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:27,333
<i>- that fucking waiter dick.</i>
- Oh, my God.

565
00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,666
<i>Oh, yeah. Serve me</i>
<i>that waiter dick. Fuck.</i>

566
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,666
Oh, my God.
She's not wearing anything.

567
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,125
- [Pam] <i>Yeah.</i>
- Yes, she is, Markie.

568
00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,500
- She's wearing that gold
necklace you got her. - [Pam moaning]

569
00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,625
Right there, bouncing
off that guy's wiener.

570
00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:40,958
- I saw.
- [moaning on video]

571
00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:42,541
[tires screech]

572
00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,666
God dang it. My life sucks,
and your life sucks adjacent.

573
00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:50,625
Everyone's always
making fun of me.

574
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,916
Shit. They're making
fun of you, too.

575
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,375
You just don't hear 'em.

576
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:55,958
[gentle music]

577
00:21:58,041 --> 00:21:59,041
I hear 'em.

578
00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:00,666
[sighs]

579
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,250
Dude, I don't wanna
go to Magic Cacti

580
00:22:03,416 --> 00:22:04,958
where my relationship is over.

581
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:07,458
And I don't wanna go back home

582
00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:08,625
where everyone
thinks I'm a loser.

583
00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:10,458
Well, I don't wanna
go back to a place

584
00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:13,125
where I... can't escape
my dad's shadow...

585
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,291
...can't make any money.

586
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,625
And I definitely don't wanna
go to a place

587
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:21,875
where you're not gonna be.

588
00:22:27,583 --> 00:22:28,625
[Markie] You know what they say.

589
00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,125
"All good things
happen in Mexico."

590
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,000
[music fades]

591
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:38,166
- I've heard that.
- [laughs] Yes, you have.

592
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:40,041
Let's do it.

593
00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:42,041
- [Mexican music playing]
- [engine revving]

594
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:47,833
- [music stops]
- [tires screech]

595
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:52,416
Is Mexico closed?

596
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:53,958
"Go around?"

597
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:55,708
[Markie] I mean...

598
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:58,458
What a rip-off, dude.

599
00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:00,291
[Western-style music]

600
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:09,958
[bubbling]

601
00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:18,250
Dude, look out.

602
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,041
- Oh, shit. Did you see that?
- [tires screech]

603
00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:22,083
Yeah.
Remember I said, "Look out"?

604
00:23:22,416 --> 00:23:24,208
- Shit, what was that?
- [engine revving]

605
00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:26,500
Oh, my God. I-- Did I hit it?

606
00:23:26,708 --> 00:23:27,708
Nah, you'd hear it.

607
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,250
- [thud]
- Like that.

608
00:23:29,416 --> 00:23:32,041
Yeah. Shit, will you turn on
the rodent radar?

609
00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:33,291
- Yeah.
- [click]

610
00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:34,750
- [pre-recorded voice reads]
- [beep]

611
00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:36,291
- Oh, it's just rabbits.
- Rabbits.

612
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:37,958
- [playful music]
- Oh...

613
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:39,958
- [rapid thuds]
- [pre-recorded voice reads]

614
00:23:40,125 --> 00:23:41,333
[Markie] God dang.

615
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,000
- Markie...
- Why are there so many?

616
00:23:43,166 --> 00:23:44,791
- What is going on?
- Markie, it's not about them.

617
00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:46,625
- It's about you.
- I know, but they're just running.

618
00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:48,083
[Steef] They're rabbits.

619
00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:49,541
- Stay on the side, just let us--
- [thud]

620
00:23:49,708 --> 00:23:51,291
- Ugh, Markie, come on.
- [thud]

621
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:53,833
- [pre-recorded voice reads]
- Is this a senior area?

622
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,041
- [pre-recorded voice reads]
- [thud]

623
00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,458
I don't think that's right.

624
00:23:56,625 --> 00:23:57,750
- [thud]
- [pre-recorded voice reads]

625
00:23:57,916 --> 00:23:59,541
- [both] Fat young?
- Fat young what?

626
00:23:59,708 --> 00:24:00,625
- An Asian?
- [thud]

627
00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:01,833
[pre-recorded voice reads]

628
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:03,250
[rapid thuds]

629
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:06,125
[pre-recorded voice]
<i>Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit.</i>

630
00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:08,166
- Dude, we're gonna hydroplane.
- [rapid thuds]

631
00:24:08,416 --> 00:24:10,000
How many are there...? [cries]

632
00:24:10,208 --> 00:24:11,666
[pre-recorded voice reads]

633
00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:13,500
[pre-recorded voice]
<i>Oh, sorry, I meant...</i>[reading]

634
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,750
I can't stop. If I go too slow,
I hear crunching,

635
00:24:16,916 --> 00:24:18,666
and if I go fast,
I just hear thumping.

636
00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:20,166
- What do I do?
- [pre-recorded voice] <i>Rabbit. Rabbit.</i>

637
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,875
- Just floor it.
- [rapid thudding]

638
00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:23,750
- [Markie] Oh, shit. [yells]
- [rapid thudding]

639
00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:25,458
- [yelling]
- [pre-recorded voice] <i>Rabbit. Rabbit.</i>

640
00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:26,541
[pre-recorded voice listing
various animals]

641
00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:27,666
- Fuck, dude!
- Goddamn.

642
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,250
- [yelling]
- [thudding]

643
00:24:29,416 --> 00:24:31,041
[pre-recorded voice]
<i>Oh, so sad. Oh, no,</i>

644
00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:32,416
<i>- poor Rabbit. So many rabbits.</i>
- [Markie] It hurts.

645
00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:33,750
- [yelling]
- [rapid thuds]

646
00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:47,083
[engine turns off]

647
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:48,333
Now what?

648
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:49,708
Let me think for a second.

649
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:52,166
[sighs]

650
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:54,916
- [angelic music]
- [gasps]

651
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:56,791
That's a sign.

652
00:24:57,375 --> 00:24:59,291
- What is?
- That sign.

653
00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,000
That's the sign.
Do you see it?

654
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,458
Oh, shit. Dixie Chicks
are coming to Tucson.

655
00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:06,333
[Markie] No. Well, that says
"Chicks with Dicks" are coming.

656
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,416
Oh, I probably won't go.

657
00:25:09,416 --> 00:25:11,083
- I might go.
- This sign.

658
00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:12,208
See it?

659
00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:13,416
[angelic music]

660
00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:18,500
[Steef reading]

661
00:25:18,958 --> 00:25:20,000
[chuckling] Yeah.

662
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,000
You know what
busboys hatch into...

663
00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:23,208
[clicks tongue]

664
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,833
- What?
- Waiters.

665
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,166
- Waiters.
- Yeah.

666
00:25:28,333 --> 00:25:29,250
Shit, let's do this.

667
00:25:29,416 --> 00:25:30,458
Not without a plan.

668
00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:32,166
Okay. You're right.

669
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:33,541
All right, here's the plan.

670
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:36,583
We go in, charm them,
get the job.

671
00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:38,166
We're busboys for three days.

672
00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:40,208
Then we get bumped up
to waiters, [claps hands]

673
00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:42,625
and then everything
happens for us.

674
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:45,666
Pam comes running back,
follows me on Instagram.

675
00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:48,250
You take care of your mom.
You get her that... [whistles]

676
00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:49,458
- And we're done, dude.
[claps hands] - [clicks tongue]

677
00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:51,375
- Yeah.
- Let's go. You ready?

678
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:52,875
- Let's go.
- All right.

679
00:25:53,125 --> 00:25:54,958
- [restaurant ambience]
- [soft music playing]

680
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:01,291
- [hostess speaking Spanish]
- [clears throat]

681
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:02,958
...Open Border Bistro.

682
00:26:03,125 --> 00:26:05,333
- Table for two?
- [stutters]

683
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,583
Uh, we wanted
to see the manager.

684
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Oh, all right.

685
00:26:11,416 --> 00:26:13,791
Usually you guys just meet them
in the bathroom stall.

686
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:15,416
- "In the bathroom," you said?
- [stutters]

687
00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:18,375
Make a right, make a left.
I'll send them right in.

688
00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:19,541
Thank you.

689
00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:21,166
[playful music]

690
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,625
[indistinct whispering]

691
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:26,791
This place is bumpin'.

692
00:26:26,958 --> 00:26:28,166
[Steef whispering]
Look at all the food.

693
00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:29,791
It's like a magazine.

694
00:26:31,625 --> 00:26:32,875
[Markie] It looks fun.

695
00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:40,083
- How do I look?
- Like a new employee.

696
00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:42,958
There you go. Okay. You know
what? You look good, too.

697
00:26:43,125 --> 00:26:44,750
But, I-- you know what?
I think you should--

698
00:26:45,208 --> 00:26:46,250
you should
go in a different stall.

699
00:26:46,416 --> 00:26:47,416
It's not that professional

700
00:26:47,583 --> 00:26:48,875
if we're all in the same stall.

701
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,583
I think you go
to that one, all right?

702
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:51,791
- Because it looks a
little desperate. - All right.

703
00:26:51,958 --> 00:26:53,500
Okay. Talk to you in a minute.

704
00:26:57,250 --> 00:26:58,625
Oh, yeah. This is--
this is better.

705
00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:00,750
- Are you good?
- I'm great. Yeah.

706
00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:03,375
And, look, you start the
conversation, and if you have any issues,

707
00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:04,958
[knocks] bang on the wall.

708
00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:06,875
I'll lean over and say
something supportive.

709
00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,375
- Yeah, we got this.
- [Steef] Okay.

710
00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:09,958
[door opens]

711
00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:16,541
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

712
00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:18,291
[Steef] We're here for the job.

713
00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:20,541
Hey, I thought we discussed I
was gonna talk first.

714
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:21,916
[whispering]
Oh, yeah. My bad, sorry.

715
00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:23,125
Never mind. Someone else is

716
00:27:23,291 --> 00:27:24,458
gonna say something.

717
00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:25,666
We're here for the job.

718
00:27:26,958 --> 00:27:28,000
[knocks]

719
00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:31,458
Hi. Come on in.
I wanted to thank you for--

720
00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:34,041
- Hey, you like sports?
- Hey...

721
00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,333
- You know, I do. I actually--
- What's your wiener taste like?

722
00:27:37,583 --> 00:27:38,625
[playful music]

723
00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,791
- My wiener?
- Shh, don't say anything.

724
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,291
- Just be here.
- [softly] Okay.

725
00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,541
Just be here.

726
00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:45,083
What's it taste like?

727
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,291
I'm guessing it--
maybe, like, skin...

728
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,000
Keep going. Shh...

729
00:27:50,791 --> 00:27:52,833
- Okay. Well--
- Don't say anything.

730
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,250
Tell me what it tastes like.

731
00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:56,208
I would say s-- skin, maybe.

732
00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:58,041
- And then, like, uh--
- Oh, shh, stop it.

733
00:27:58,375 --> 00:27:59,833
- Keep going.
- [stutters]

734
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,500
You want me to be quiet,
or do you want me to talk?

735
00:28:01,791 --> 00:28:03,833
Shh. Quiet, quiet.

736
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:05,750
Tell me what it's like.

737
00:28:05,916 --> 00:28:08,916
Okay. I would say it's a s--
little skin, maybe,

738
00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:10,666
and then maybe like the
inside of my underpants.

739
00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:12,250
Oh, fuck.

740
00:28:12,541 --> 00:28:13,541
God, that's good.

741
00:28:14,041 --> 00:28:15,208
Keep going.

742
00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:17,583
Skin, underpants, maybe a little
pee-pee.

743
00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:19,500
Can you feel me
pinching your nuts?

744
00:28:19,791 --> 00:28:21,125
I actually can.

745
00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:22,875
[manager] Make your favorite
face for me.

746
00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:26,416
Make your favorite face
for me right now.

747
00:28:26,958 --> 00:28:28,000
Right now.

748
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:30,625
- Yes. Keep going.
- Um... [inhales]

749
00:28:31,458 --> 00:28:34,666
- Keep going. Shh. Shh.
- Yeah.

750
00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:37,541
- [music continues]
- Shh...

751
00:28:38,666 --> 00:28:40,958
- Oh, yeah.
- [gurgling]

752
00:28:41,125 --> 00:28:42,583
That's wet.

753
00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:46,041
Yeah. Any cavities? [chuckles]

754
00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:48,125
Ooh, you nasty.

755
00:28:48,583 --> 00:28:49,791
I'm nasty.

756
00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:51,750
What's your favorite position?

757
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,250
- Waiter, hopefully.
- But we'll accept busboy.

758
00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:57,458
[light chuckle] We saw the sign.

759
00:28:58,416 --> 00:29:00,000
W-- The sign?

760
00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:03,500
Oh, the sign.

761
00:29:03,958 --> 00:29:05,000
What?

762
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:06,875
So?

763
00:29:07,458 --> 00:29:08,458
Are we busboys?

764
00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:10,666
That's why you guys came here?

765
00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:11,916
The busboy job?

766
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,666
What do you think
we're doing here?

767
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:16,166
Here to suck your dick? [laughs]

768
00:29:16,458 --> 00:29:18,125
- [all laughing]
- Yeah...

769
00:29:18,291 --> 00:29:20,041
I-- I can't even
suck my own dick.

770
00:29:20,208 --> 00:29:22,416
The problem is busboys
are, like, 19.

771
00:29:22,583 --> 00:29:24,000
- Oh, we've been 19. You were--
- Yeah,

772
00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:25,458
- We were 19--
- Yeah, I was 19 a long time ago.

773
00:29:25,625 --> 00:29:28,125
- [Steef] Yeah.
- You're 19,000.

774
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:29,416
[door opens]

775
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,750
Manager Tim, we got a 12-top

776
00:29:31,916 --> 00:29:33,500
with a <i>chile relleno</i>issue.

777
00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:35,333
Fuck my life.

778
00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:38,625
Well, [sighs] you have any
fine-dining experience?

779
00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:39,833
- He does.
- He does.

780
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:40,958
All right, show up here tomorrow

781
00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:42,208
3:30 sharp.

782
00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:43,750
April will show you around.

783
00:29:44,208 --> 00:29:45,291
And this never happened.

784
00:29:45,541 --> 00:29:46,958
What never happened?
We're not hired?

785
00:29:47,125 --> 00:29:48,291
No, you're hired.

786
00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:49,833
Now shut the fuck up.

787
00:29:50,250 --> 00:29:52,083
And I'm not gay.

788
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:54,416
- What?
- [Tim] Thank you.

789
00:29:54,583 --> 00:29:55,625
God bless you.

790
00:29:56,041 --> 00:29:57,208
[upbeat music]

791
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:03,375
[Steef] Mark, you're the one who
got into those legal issues

792
00:30:03,541 --> 00:30:04,916
at the Rainforest Cafe.

793
00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,291
[Markie] Yeah, 'cause
I got Lyme disease.

794
00:30:06,458 --> 00:30:07,500
[Steef] Okay.

795
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:10,583
[Markie] Oh, yeah.

796
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,041
Woo!

797
00:30:12,416 --> 00:30:13,458
[door closes]

798
00:30:14,833 --> 00:30:15,875
Here we go.

799
00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:18,958
[speaking Spanish]

800
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:21,166
Right on time.
I'm going to introduce you

801
00:30:21,333 --> 00:30:22,625
to the other bussers
who will give you

802
00:30:22,791 --> 00:30:24,708
the lay of the land... And you.

803
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,541
Watch it.

804
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,291
[Markie] <i>Hola.</i>

805
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:36,000
Right this way, boys. [sighs]

806
00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:37,333
Dishwashing station.

807
00:30:37,666 --> 00:30:38,958
- [plates clattering]
- [sizzling]

808
00:30:42,291 --> 00:30:44,125
- Kitchen.
- [whoops]

809
00:30:45,250 --> 00:30:46,416
Move it, Naomi.

810
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,250
- Hey, one more thing.
- Yeah?

811
00:30:54,458 --> 00:30:55,708
When you get hired as busboys,

812
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,125
you will be jumped in
by the others.

813
00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,541
Great.

814
00:31:00,416 --> 00:31:02,000
- What does that mean?
- I don't know.

815
00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:03,500
They just beat the
shit out of you,

816
00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:06,458
like, when you join a gang,
so be ready.

817
00:31:06,708 --> 00:31:08,625
Oh, I'm always ready
to be beat up.

818
00:31:08,791 --> 00:31:09,916
I get beat up all the time.

819
00:31:11,250 --> 00:31:12,833
- Are y-- are you joking?
- [April] No.

820
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,958
It's just kind
of a fun tradition,

821
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:17,416
so if you hear "fresh fish,"
you better run.

822
00:31:17,583 --> 00:31:18,791
Fresh fish, okay.

823
00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:20,458
Unless you wanna take it
like a man.

824
00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,000
But you don't look
too much like a man.

825
00:31:25,833 --> 00:31:27,625
- Is it the hair?
- It's everything.

826
00:31:27,791 --> 00:31:28,791
Yeah.

827
00:31:29,250 --> 00:31:30,291
Yeah.

828
00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:32,333
Fair enough.

829
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:34,000
[music fades]

830
00:31:34,416 --> 00:31:36,541
Markie... Steef.

831
00:31:36,958 --> 00:31:39,666
This is Ginger.
She will be your guide today.

832
00:31:39,833 --> 00:31:41,000
Shift meeting in 20.

833
00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,875
Welcome to
Open Border Bistro, guys.

834
00:31:43,041 --> 00:31:44,916
It's a busy place,
but I got you.

835
00:31:45,291 --> 00:31:46,625
Can one of you help me
tie my apron?

836
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:47,833
[Markie] Oh, sure.

837
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,666
I see you looking
at my mom's ass.

838
00:31:49,958 --> 00:31:51,291
It's on sight.

839
00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:53,166
That's my son, Oscar.

840
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:55,125
He's gonna be a doctor.

841
00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:56,833
- I'm not even in school.
- [Steef] Why aren't you in school?

842
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,083
Suck it, faggot.

843
00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,125
- I'm Mexican.
- What?

844
00:32:00,291 --> 00:32:02,583
- Hey, we don't say that word.
- [Steef] Yeah.

845
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:03,708
- It means happy.
- [Steef] Well, that's

846
00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:04,791
- gay.
- That's gay.

847
00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,000
Well, I'm trans.

848
00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:07,375
Isn't he handsome?

849
00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:09,958
- [Steef] He?
- Those lockers are yours.

850
00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:12,958
[sighs]
Eyeliner's the one nice thing

851
00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:15,208
I do for myself each day.

852
00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:18,791
I work so much, I don't even
feel like a woman sometimes.

853
00:32:19,083 --> 00:32:20,208
Well, you're definitely a woman.
[light chuckle]

854
00:32:20,375 --> 00:32:21,875
Hey! [speaking Spanish]

855
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,041
[in English]

856
00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:30,083
Oh, that's Gregor,
and I'm Romina.

857
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:32,083
Hi, I'm a Pisces,

858
00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:35,291
full moon rising, and I'm also
a Reiki healer, so...

859
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,083
- Hmm.
- I'm Steef, and that's Markie.

860
00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:39,208
- We're adult men.
- So good to have you guys.

861
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:41,000
We really could use the help.
[light chuckle]

862
00:32:41,166 --> 00:32:43,375
Waiter promotions
are in three months,

863
00:32:43,541 --> 00:32:45,125
- so... Yeah,
- [both] Ooh...

864
00:32:45,291 --> 00:32:46,708
we're all hoping
to get promoted, so...

865
00:32:46,875 --> 00:32:48,833
[Tim] Round up, you <i>panochos.</i>
Let's go.

866
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,708
- [Romina] Oh, good luck.
- Okay.

867
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:52,583
[softly] This is gonna be it.

868
00:32:52,833 --> 00:32:53,875
I'm Murderball.

869
00:32:54,125 --> 00:32:55,166
I'm in a wheelchair.

870
00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:58,041
- Yeah. You're doing good.
- Oh...

871
00:32:58,375 --> 00:32:59,416
[creaking]

872
00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:01,791
I'll catch up.

873
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,041
[slow Mexican music]

874
00:33:05,708 --> 00:33:07,625
Look alive
out there today, folks.

875
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,625
Help the waiters where you can.

876
00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:12,375
But remember,
don't get in their way.

877
00:33:12,541 --> 00:33:14,458
They're the humans,
you're the shadows.

878
00:33:14,916 --> 00:33:16,833
86, the Sinaloa salmon.

879
00:33:17,291 --> 00:33:20,125
Oh, and there was a recall on
the Pop Smoke Crème Brûlée.

880
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:22,416
Roll silverware when you can.

881
00:33:23,041 --> 00:33:24,375
Also, refills.

882
00:33:24,625 --> 00:33:26,166
Keep the customers wet.

883
00:33:27,083 --> 00:33:28,833
Oh, and we have two new busboys.

884
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,958
Let them flank you
until they're up to speed.

885
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:33,333
Do I think they'll last? No.

886
00:33:33,583 --> 00:33:36,083
But what do I know?
I'm just the fucking boss.

887
00:33:36,625 --> 00:33:37,791
Any questions?

888
00:33:38,916 --> 00:33:40,375
Nope? Great.

889
00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,833
Anything you need, ask April.

890
00:33:43,166 --> 00:33:44,416
[speaking Spanish]

891
00:33:46,416 --> 00:33:47,625
[rock music]

892
00:33:58,208 --> 00:34:00,375
- [inaudible dialogue]
- [restaurant ambience]

893
00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:30,458
- [water running]
- [dishes clattering]

894
00:34:31,875 --> 00:34:32,916
[music continues]

895
00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:37,166
[dishes crashing]

896
00:35:00,541 --> 00:35:01,583
[music fades]

897
00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:02,875
[slow music]

898
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,291
[Steef] Oh, lord...

899
00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:09,750
If you gotta pee, just get up.

900
00:35:11,458 --> 00:35:12,500
[Steef] No.

901
00:35:14,625 --> 00:35:15,875
It's this job.

902
00:35:17,666 --> 00:35:19,625
Every time I turn around,
I'm messing up.

903
00:35:19,833 --> 00:35:21,458
The Murderball squealed his
wheels at me,

904
00:35:21,625 --> 00:35:24,291
and Oscar called
me a, um, titty dick.

905
00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:26,333
Who cares about that kid?
He's like three.

906
00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,291
What? He's almost eight.

907
00:35:28,458 --> 00:35:30,000
- [Markie] He is?
- Yeah.

908
00:35:30,208 --> 00:35:32,250
Listen, those guys are just
territorial, that's all.

909
00:35:33,083 --> 00:35:35,750
- Just then I broke those dishes.
- Who cares?

910
00:35:35,958 --> 00:35:37,708
They got insurance up the ass
for that stuff.

911
00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:39,333
- They'll probably make money.
- They do?

912
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,750
- [Markie] Yeah.
- [Steef] I just don't know

913
00:35:40,916 --> 00:35:42,333
if I can even do this anymore.

914
00:35:42,666 --> 00:35:43,708
[sighs]

915
00:35:46,083 --> 00:35:48,291
I think you're just kind of
feeling sorry for yourself.

916
00:35:49,333 --> 00:35:50,708
You just gotta stay positive.

917
00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:53,500
I mean, who beat that blockage
out of that shit line

918
00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:55,250
in four swings?

919
00:35:55,750 --> 00:35:56,958
That was you, dude.

920
00:35:57,333 --> 00:36:00,416
And who's the guy
that gave CPR to that old man

921
00:36:00,583 --> 00:36:02,791
at Piggly Wiggly
on Thanksgiving?

922
00:36:03,041 --> 00:36:05,125
- He died.
- [Markie] Yes, but, uh,

923
00:36:05,291 --> 00:36:06,875
he was puffed up there.
You got him going.

924
00:36:07,041 --> 00:36:08,875
Yeah. I'm like, "I think
almost 200 PSI, man."

925
00:36:09,041 --> 00:36:10,791
- He was maxed out.
- [Markie chuckles]

926
00:36:11,250 --> 00:36:13,291
And who's the guy
that's been working for years...

927
00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:17,375
...really hard, to buy his mom
an aftermarket dangler?

928
00:36:18,208 --> 00:36:20,041
- Again, you.
- [sighs]

929
00:36:20,250 --> 00:36:22,125
You're not gonna pick this stuff
up right away.

930
00:36:22,791 --> 00:36:24,458
You know what I mean? These guys
have been there forever.

931
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:28,250
But the thing is,
you can't give up, because...

932
00:36:29,958 --> 00:36:32,916
...if you give up,
I won't be far behind.

933
00:36:36,208 --> 00:36:38,291
And I'm not ready
to throw in the towel yet.

934
00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:41,166
Till that table's clean.
[clicks tongue]

935
00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,333
Waiters?

936
00:36:44,583 --> 00:36:45,625
[Steef] Waiters.

937
00:36:47,291 --> 00:36:48,333
Thanks, Markie.

938
00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:50,166
[rock music]

939
00:36:56,291 --> 00:36:57,541
[water running]

940
00:37:02,583 --> 00:37:03,625
[music continues]

941
00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:26,708
[inaudible]

942
00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:28,583
[swooshing]

943
00:37:32,458 --> 00:37:34,125
[inaudible]

944
00:37:44,625 --> 00:37:45,708
[indistinct chattering]

945
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,375
[music fades]

946
00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:51,666
[man speaking Spanish]

947
00:37:53,083 --> 00:37:55,000
About time for the waiter
announcement, no?

948
00:37:55,333 --> 00:37:57,708
If one of you dish bitches
gets promoted over me,

949
00:37:58,125 --> 00:38:00,083
- I'd be shocked.
- Well, you've been here a week, dude.

950
00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:01,750
- You're not getting shit.
- [man] Oh, yeah?

951
00:38:01,916 --> 00:38:03,000
But I'm better than you.

952
00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,250
And faster.

953
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:05,958
Watch it. [exhales]

954
00:38:06,125 --> 00:38:08,250
[moaning]

955
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:13,458
- That's pretty good.
- Not bad.

956
00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,166
- Damn.
- Two weeks ago, I didn't even know English.

957
00:38:15,333 --> 00:38:17,250
Now? ABCDFG, bitch.

958
00:38:17,416 --> 00:38:18,875
Besides, man, come on.

959
00:38:19,083 --> 00:38:21,375
You two gotta be the oldest
busboys in the universe.

960
00:38:21,541 --> 00:38:22,875
- Hey.
- More him.

961
00:38:23,333 --> 00:38:24,916
- Yeah.
- Well, you know...

962
00:38:26,916 --> 00:38:29,625
Man...
Competition's gonna be tough.

963
00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:31,666
Rick's fast.

964
00:38:31,833 --> 00:38:33,000
And good-looking, man.

965
00:38:33,583 --> 00:38:34,791
He should be disqualified.

966
00:38:34,958 --> 00:38:36,083
I heard a picture of his abs got

967
00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:37,583
- 100 likes.
- Wait. How many?

968
00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:39,000
[Steef] What if they
only pick one of us?

969
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:40,958
They won't do that, dude.
We're a team.

970
00:38:41,125 --> 00:38:42,333
They don't know that, Markie.

971
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:43,583
They don't give a shit.

972
00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,791
- [squeaking]
- [Rick sighs]

973
00:38:46,291 --> 00:38:47,625
Three minutes, losers.

974
00:38:48,041 --> 00:38:49,666
Hey, yo! Mario Kart.

975
00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:51,916
- Boost it.
- [Murderball speaks Spanish]

976
00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:53,458
Here we go.

977
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,541
- [sighing]
- [stutters] I got it, ese.

978
00:39:00,583 --> 00:39:02,500
How'd you end up all
wheeled out, brother?

979
00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:06,458
I-- I got polio from
one of the chicken enchiladas.

980
00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,250
Oh, you got some <i>pollo</i>polio?

981
00:39:10,083 --> 00:39:11,916
- [chuckles lightly]
- What did you say?

982
00:39:12,916 --> 00:39:14,166
<i>Pollo</i>polio.

983
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,958
- Hey, man, that's racist.
- Yeah, that's racist, Markie.

984
00:39:17,125 --> 00:39:19,083
No, it's funny. I'm just saying
it-- it sounds funny.

985
00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:20,500
Funny to who?

986
00:39:20,666 --> 00:39:22,500
This lifetime
musical chairs winner?

987
00:39:22,791 --> 00:39:24,333
- Gross. We can all agree
- [speaking Spanish]

988
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,833
this place sucks.
I hope I get waiter.

989
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,291
- Yeah, me too. Let's go.
- I know. Me too, man.

990
00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:30,083
[grunts] Thanks, steppy.

991
00:39:30,250 --> 00:39:31,666
- Yeah, <i>papá.</i>
- [Markie] Ah, I'm stressed.

992
00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:33,666
[Murderball]
Man, you're strong, bro.

993
00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:34,875
[Steef speaks Spanish]

994
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,458
Well, hello, ladies.

995
00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:41,541
It's that time of year again
when one of you zipper-sippers

996
00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:43,666
is gonna get up to the bigs.

997
00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:46,000
We only have one
waiter job this year,

998
00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:48,291
and it's no surprise that none
of you really deserve it.

999
00:39:48,458 --> 00:39:50,666
Put the biscuit down.

1000
00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,375
Biscuits are for waiters.

1001
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,750
- [clink]
- But, one of you is gonna get it,

1002
00:39:54,916 --> 00:39:56,166
and according to the new
administration,

1003
00:39:56,333 --> 00:39:58,166
it can't be
a naturally-born citizen.

1004
00:39:58,625 --> 00:40:00,166
Are you
a naturally-born citizen?

1005
00:40:00,375 --> 00:40:01,916
- I'm doggy style.
- It's a hard choice.

1006
00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:03,416
There's so much talent here.

1007
00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:07,916
Romina, the way you handled
that nine-top of mimes

1008
00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:11,000
on <i>Días de los Muertos</i>
was angelic.

1009
00:40:11,375 --> 00:40:13,458
Knowing they wanted
Chalupa's <i>con verde</i>

1010
00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:16,625
only by hand signals,
it was <i>magnifique.</i>

1011
00:40:17,041 --> 00:40:19,333
- Is it your time?
- [dramatic tone]

1012
00:40:22,041 --> 00:40:25,541
Steef, Markie, you guys have
worked over 80 days

1013
00:40:25,708 --> 00:40:27,208
in the past three months.

1014
00:40:27,583 --> 00:40:30,500
If that doesn't deserve
a promotion, what does?

1015
00:40:30,708 --> 00:40:32,291
- Pick him.
- Silence!

1016
00:40:34,125 --> 00:40:36,333
Your ability to battle through
your illness,

1017
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,291
which our attorneys
assure us will clear up

1018
00:40:38,458 --> 00:40:39,875
within a matter of days,

1019
00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:43,000
while doing your job,
is truly remarkable.

1020
00:40:43,375 --> 00:40:44,958
Great fucking work.

1021
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:48,041
Are we gonna have our first
waiter <i>con</i>wheels?

1022
00:40:48,208 --> 00:40:51,750
- [Mexican music]
- [laughs and celebrates]

1023
00:40:52,666 --> 00:40:53,916
[celebrating]

1024
00:40:54,083 --> 00:40:56,416
- [wheels rattle]
- [Tim speaking Spanish]

1025
00:40:56,583 --> 00:40:58,833
- [chuckles]
- [Mexican music fades]

1026
00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:01,375
[dramatic music]

1027
00:41:02,458 --> 00:41:04,625
Gregor, you don't say much,

1028
00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:06,333
and you've been drawing
what can only be described

1029
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,916
as satanic shit
all over the bathroom walls.

1030
00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:11,875
Quite frankly,
we're afraid to let you go.

1031
00:41:12,041 --> 00:41:13,083
[grunt]

1032
00:41:13,250 --> 00:41:15,125
- [speaks Spanish]
- [dramatic tone]

1033
00:41:20,583 --> 00:41:23,083
Rick, you have great skin...

1034
00:41:23,958 --> 00:41:25,625
...but you've been here
under a week,

1035
00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,500
and it's hard to evaluate
your commitment

1036
00:41:27,666 --> 00:41:30,291
- to our fine establishment.
- [dramatic tone]

1037
00:41:30,791 --> 00:41:33,041
This was
a very difficult choice.

1038
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:38,041
No, it wasn't.
Rick, get up here!

1039
00:41:38,208 --> 00:41:39,375
- Come on,
get the jacket, yeah! - No...

1040
00:41:39,541 --> 00:41:41,500
- [clapping]
- You're kidding me.

1041
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,083
- [Tim] Get in here, Rick.
- [Markie] What?

1042
00:41:44,375 --> 00:41:45,750
[Steef] Rick sucks piss, dude.

1043
00:41:45,916 --> 00:41:47,125
Oh, man.

1044
00:41:47,375 --> 00:41:48,541
Anyone who didn't
see this coming

1045
00:41:48,708 --> 00:41:50,000
is a fucking imbecile.

1046
00:41:50,416 --> 00:41:52,250
Of course we're gonna put him
front and center.

1047
00:41:52,416 --> 00:41:53,541
We're a business.

1048
00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:56,500
The next waiter tryouts
are in six months.

1049
00:41:56,875 --> 00:41:59,083
- Get back to work, cockroaches.
- Oh...

1050
00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:01,041
- [groans]
- [music fades]

1051
00:42:01,208 --> 00:42:03,208
- [Murderball] ...two, three.
- Fucking prick.

1052
00:42:03,833 --> 00:42:05,583
I actually thought
we had a chance this time.

1053
00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:07,333
Damn!

1054
00:42:07,833 --> 00:42:08,875
[Murderball grunting]

1055
00:42:10,208 --> 00:42:11,250
Pisses me off.

1056
00:42:11,666 --> 00:42:13,583
F, F, F!

1057
00:42:13,916 --> 00:42:16,000
- [grunting]
- Ha!

1058
00:42:16,208 --> 00:42:17,791
[Steef] It pisses me off,
Markie.

1059
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:20,625
And the doctor
keeps calling me, man.

1060
00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,625
If one of us made waiter,
that's how I was gonna pay

1061
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:24,958
for my mom's surgery.

1062
00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:27,041
- Yeah.
- Another one. Let's go.

1063
00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:30,041
[Steef] But the next call-up's
only six months away.

1064
00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:32,625
- It's not that far away. We--
- Yes, it is.

1065
00:42:33,041 --> 00:42:35,458
Dude, that's six more months
I can't tell Pam I'm a waiter.

1066
00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:36,916
Isn't she seeing that guy?

1067
00:42:37,125 --> 00:42:39,000
Yeah, I mean,
if you go by Instagram.

1068
00:42:39,166 --> 00:42:41,000
- It could be AI.
- Thank you, Oscar.

1069
00:42:41,166 --> 00:42:42,333
I thought she blocked you.

1070
00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:44,750
- I got a burner.
- [grunts]

1071
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,791
You softshells need to work out
a little bit more,

1072
00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:48,333
and the women won't leave you.

1073
00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:49,750
Eat shit, Murderball.

1074
00:42:49,916 --> 00:42:51,375
I wasn't talking to you.

1075
00:42:51,541 --> 00:42:52,958
We work seven days a week.
When are we working out?

1076
00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:54,666
Yeah, who gives a shit?

1077
00:42:54,833 --> 00:42:56,250
[Murderball] Sounds like a
personal problem, baby.

1078
00:42:56,416 --> 00:42:57,791
You brought it up.

1079
00:42:57,958 --> 00:42:59,875
Hey, can't you see
that they're suffering?

1080
00:43:00,166 --> 00:43:01,208
[Murderball] Sorry.

1081
00:43:01,833 --> 00:43:04,416
- Man, he's changed.
- Wait, does he live right there?

1082
00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,333
- Yeah.
- [Markie] What?

1083
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:08,000
[Steef] Yeah, he just told me
that inside.

1084
00:43:08,166 --> 00:43:09,375
[Oscar] He's a fucking pussy.

1085
00:43:10,416 --> 00:43:12,583
Yeah, after the lawsuit, they
let him move in right there.

1086
00:43:12,750 --> 00:43:13,708
[cool music]

1087
00:43:13,875 --> 00:43:15,875
Holy shit, that lucky prick.

1088
00:43:16,125 --> 00:43:17,083
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God,

1089
00:43:17,250 --> 00:43:18,458
he ate one bad burrito,

1090
00:43:18,625 --> 00:43:20,333
- he gets a whole new pad?
- [chuckle]

1091
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:23,291
Everyone's killing it but us,
man. Fucking <i>pollo</i>polio.

1092
00:43:23,458 --> 00:43:25,041
- I want one.
- [Steef] Yeah.

1093
00:43:25,208 --> 00:43:26,916
- [struggling]
- Ooh.

1094
00:43:27,208 --> 00:43:28,208
[dramatic music]

1095
00:43:29,125 --> 00:43:30,291
- [groans]
- Oh, somebody

1096
00:43:30,458 --> 00:43:31,708
arguing with their Uber driver.

1097
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,375
Oh, two stars.

1098
00:43:33,541 --> 00:43:35,500
- [thud]
- [Steef] Oh, maybe it's a TikTok.

1099
00:43:35,666 --> 00:43:37,500
Hmm... What if it's an OnlyFans?

1100
00:43:37,666 --> 00:43:39,333
- [all three] Ooh.
- [punches thudding in background]

1101
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:40,833
[chuckles] Let's give him
some privacy.

1102
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,291
- Yeah.
- [dramatic music]

1103
00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,208
- [Markie] Oh, we need
dinner money. - [Steef] Again?

1104
00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:47,958
[Markie] You feel
like shooting some ropes?

1105
00:43:48,666 --> 00:43:49,708
[chill music]

1106
00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:03,041
- [music fades]
- [claps hands] Hey, June.

1107
00:44:03,958 --> 00:44:06,583
Hi, Cutie.
What can I do you for today?

1108
00:44:06,750 --> 00:44:09,375
Oh, I think old Tug McGraw here
is gonna go for the

1109
00:44:09,541 --> 00:44:12,041
- both-fluid special, all right?
- Ooh...

1110
00:44:12,208 --> 00:44:13,958
Yeah. Oh, my God,

1111
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:16,708
- those jizz prices
have really skyrocketed. - [June] Yeah.

1112
00:44:16,875 --> 00:44:18,250
Anything to do
with that truck spill?

1113
00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:21,708
Skeet fleet, yeah.
Damn icy roads.

1114
00:44:21,875 --> 00:44:23,250
Everything went up after that.

1115
00:44:23,416 --> 00:44:25,083
I'm surprised the highway
didn't get pregnant.

1116
00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:26,958
[June laughs]

1117
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:29,791
It's not that funny.

1118
00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:31,291
[June] Okay.

1119
00:44:31,458 --> 00:44:32,833
So what are you gonna go
for today, then?

1120
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,625
[sighs] I gave you guys so much

1121
00:44:34,791 --> 00:44:36,208
last week, I could barely
blow my nose.

1122
00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:37,375
- Yeah.
- [June chuckles]

1123
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:38,708
But I'm gonna go
for the special.

1124
00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:40,125
- Yeah...
- All right, we got a special

1125
00:44:40,291 --> 00:44:42,333
in room four.
Okay, wait a second.

1126
00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:44,000
I think you're gonna want this.

1127
00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:47,375
Head on back there to get you
laced up, Bubba.

1128
00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:49,291
Call me Aunt Spank.

1129
00:44:49,458 --> 00:44:50,500
I'll be in my attic.

1130
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:52,875
Yeah, fill her up.

1131
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:54,708
[chill music playing]

1132
00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,166
[exhaling]

1133
00:45:05,791 --> 00:45:07,208
When are you gonna ask me out?

1134
00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:09,583
- Hmm?
- [June chuckles]

1135
00:45:09,791 --> 00:45:11,708
Oh. Uh...

1136
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:12,916
Well...

1137
00:45:13,541 --> 00:45:15,625
I mean, presently,
I'm sort of...

1138
00:45:16,083 --> 00:45:17,291
Kind of in the middle
of something.

1139
00:45:17,458 --> 00:45:18,750
Oh. Mm-hmm.

1140
00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:20,333
I heard you're kinda not.

1141
00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:21,416
- [chuckles]
- Well, I mean,

1142
00:45:21,583 --> 00:45:22,791
if you go by Instagram,

1143
00:45:22,958 --> 00:45:24,708
but I hear a lot
of that's, like, A.I.

1144
00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:26,250
A lot of guys like me.

1145
00:45:26,583 --> 00:45:27,833
It's true. [chuckles]

1146
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000
They drive past here,
and they beep.

1147
00:45:32,041 --> 00:45:34,666
They don't stop, but they beep.

1148
00:45:38,166 --> 00:45:39,208
Oh...

1149
00:45:40,375 --> 00:45:42,125
No, I believe it.
I believe it.

1150
00:45:43,166 --> 00:45:44,458
Oh, boy, yeah.

1151
00:45:44,875 --> 00:45:46,166
Maybe he's having a lull.

1152
00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:47,500
Try your other arm!

1153
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:50,250
- Sorry to yell.
- [June sighs]

1154
00:45:50,416 --> 00:45:51,458
Sorry, guys.

1155
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,000
[awkward noises]

1156
00:45:58,625 --> 00:46:00,958
Uh, I'm probably gonna sit down
over here for a second.

1157
00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:02,125
- [June] Okay.
- Okay.

1158
00:46:02,291 --> 00:46:03,333
[country music]

1159
00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:19,708
[man speaking Spanish on TV]

1160
00:46:19,916 --> 00:46:21,291
[man 2 on TV]
<i>Good to see you, man.</i>

1161
00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:22,708
<i>Hey, this is my friend</i>
<i>Tony Montana</i>

1162
00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:24,333
<i>I've been telling you about.</i>

1163
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,791
- Look at that.
- [man 2] <i>Tony, that's Omar...</i>

1164
00:46:25,958 --> 00:46:27,041
Look at that. [claps]
Come here.

1165
00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:29,416
Dude, these guys
went from working

1166
00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,250
in the kitchen
to being millionaires.

1167
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,125
What?
Were they on a game show?

1168
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,916
No, dude. They're dealing drugs.

1169
00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:37,458
They took matters into their own
hands, [smacks hand]

1170
00:46:37,625 --> 00:46:38,958
and that's what we gotta do.

1171
00:46:39,666 --> 00:46:41,916
We don't have enough money
to last another six months.

1172
00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:43,458
I was counting
on that waiter shit.

1173
00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:45,416
We don't have any money, Markie?

1174
00:46:45,666 --> 00:46:46,833
How are we out of money?

1175
00:46:47,166 --> 00:46:49,000
We just drained
every fluid in my body.

1176
00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:51,666
Well, have you noticed we eat
Funyuns every night for dinner?

1177
00:46:51,833 --> 00:46:53,541
Yeah, Markie, they're great.

1178
00:46:53,708 --> 00:46:54,916
Well, listen...

1179
00:46:55,083 --> 00:46:56,500
[man speaking
indistinctly on TV]

1180
00:46:56,750 --> 00:46:59,291
- We gotta do that.
<i>- Then why didn't you, man?</i>

1181
00:46:59,458 --> 00:47:01,250
<i>And don't be calling me no</i>
<i>fucking dishwasher, okay?</i> <i>I'll kick your fucking ...</i>

1182
00:47:01,416 --> 00:47:03,791
- We don't have any drugs.
- [indistinct chattering on TV]

1183
00:47:03,958 --> 00:47:05,500
- I think I got an idea.
- [ominous music]

1184
00:47:05,916 --> 00:47:08,916
Shit. Yep. Yep.
Come here. [whistles] Come on.

1185
00:47:09,083 --> 00:47:11,791
Check it out.
See this <i>caballero</i>on 47?

1186
00:47:12,125 --> 00:47:13,958
- The Civil War guy.
- [Steef] Oh, yeah.

1187
00:47:14,125 --> 00:47:15,416
[Markie] Okay, so this dude

1188
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:16,916
left a Dexatrim on
the table last time

1189
00:47:17,083 --> 00:47:18,333
when I was cleaning up.

1190
00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:19,375
I walked by,
and no one was looking,

1191
00:47:19,541 --> 00:47:20,625
I slurped that shit up.

1192
00:47:20,791 --> 00:47:21,958
- Oh, what?
- [chuckles]

1193
00:47:22,125 --> 00:47:23,333
What if it had fentanyl in it?

1194
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:24,791
Dude, I'm not allergic
to fentanyl

1195
00:47:24,958 --> 00:47:26,333
like a lot of these pussies.

1196
00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:28,166
I think we go by there
and scope for dope.

1197
00:47:28,583 --> 00:47:29,916
[Steef] Maybe we should
think about this.

1198
00:47:30,083 --> 00:47:31,458
Selling drugs is dangerous.

1199
00:47:31,625 --> 00:47:33,708
Yeah, but you know
what else is dangerous?

1200
00:47:34,625 --> 00:47:35,833
Railroads are dangerous.

1201
00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:38,375
Time is extremely dangerous.

1202
00:47:38,666 --> 00:47:41,375
How many people have died
since the beginning of time?

1203
00:47:42,416 --> 00:47:43,625
- Wow.
- [Markie] Yeah.

1204
00:47:43,791 --> 00:47:45,291
Listen, we don't have a choice.

1205
00:47:45,541 --> 00:47:46,916
We're never getting
your mom that meat missile

1206
00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:48,916
- she wants at this rate.
- Yeah.

1207
00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:50,541
Don't you wanna get
that thing on her?

1208
00:47:50,708 --> 00:47:51,958
[imitating Markie]
Yeah, I want her to have

1209
00:47:52,125 --> 00:47:53,208
- that thing on her.
- [Markie] Yeah.

1210
00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:56,375
Okay, listen.
I don't wanna sell drugs,

1211
00:47:56,541 --> 00:47:57,875
- but we need money.
- [Markie] Yes.

1212
00:47:58,041 --> 00:47:59,583
- Waiters make money.
- Mm-hmm.

1213
00:48:00,541 --> 00:48:01,875
We make one big sale.

1214
00:48:02,041 --> 00:48:03,750
We use the proceeds
to buy a restaurant

1215
00:48:03,916 --> 00:48:06,416
and then we promote
ourselves to waiters.

1216
00:48:06,916 --> 00:48:08,125
[music continues]

1217
00:48:08,291 --> 00:48:10,500
- Is that a good idea or what?
- [sighs]

1218
00:48:11,708 --> 00:48:13,208
[chuckling]
It's a fucking great idea.

1219
00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:15,000
That is unbelievable.

1220
00:48:15,166 --> 00:48:16,541
- It fixes everything.
- I'm gonna go say something.

1221
00:48:16,708 --> 00:48:18,125
Yeah, what are you going to say?

1222
00:48:19,625 --> 00:48:21,875
- You go say something.
- Yeah, I'll go say something.

1223
00:48:22,041 --> 00:48:23,000
Yeah...

1224
00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:24,208
[restaurant ambience]

1225
00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:27,583
[dramatic Western music]

1226
00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:28,875
You sure you can handle this?

1227
00:48:29,041 --> 00:48:31,083
Oh, yeah.
How do you wanna do it?

1228
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:33,500
I give you the drugs to sell
and it's a 90-10 split.

1229
00:48:33,666 --> 00:48:34,666
We get the 90.

1230
00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:35,875
[man] You get the 10.

1231
00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:39,333
- Right.
- And then you guys split the 10%.

1232
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,125
Then I get five of that back

1233
00:48:41,291 --> 00:48:43,291
just for fees and surcharges and
all that stuff.

1234
00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:44,625
Oh, like Ticketmaster?

1235
00:48:44,791 --> 00:48:46,458
- [man] Exactly.
- Okay...

1236
00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:50,000
Sounds good.

1237
00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:52,916
[thud]

1238
00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:54,416
Is that the shit?

1239
00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:55,583
[man] You know it's the shit.

1240
00:48:55,958 --> 00:48:57,000
Now go sell it.

1241
00:48:57,541 --> 00:48:58,583
Fuck yeah.

1242
00:48:59,458 --> 00:49:00,875
Why are we doing this
in the freezer?

1243
00:49:01,041 --> 00:49:02,375
I don't know.
I thought that was your idea.

1244
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:04,666
You know what? Sometimes
they hide a popsicle

1245
00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:05,791
in the tomatoes.

1246
00:49:05,958 --> 00:49:06,875
[dramatic music]

1247
00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:08,291
[exhales] Okay. Uh...

1248
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:09,708
We're not gonna make
the same mistakes

1249
00:49:09,875 --> 00:49:11,541
they do in movies.
They buy stuff,

1250
00:49:11,708 --> 00:49:13,333
they get all this money.
And they get flashy

1251
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,458
and they get a big puffer coat.
We're not doing that.

1252
00:49:15,625 --> 00:49:17,291
We're gonna do one big sale.

1253
00:49:17,458 --> 00:49:18,416
Goodbye.

1254
00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:19,875
Ooh, let's try this crackhead.

1255
00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:22,333
Yo, yo. What's going on, boss?

1256
00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:23,708
Hey, wha-- what up?
What up?

1257
00:49:23,875 --> 00:49:25,500
What up thoe?
What up thoe, then?

1258
00:49:25,666 --> 00:49:27,208
- What's cracking?
- [man continues greeting]

1259
00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:29,958
- What's good, twin?
- [man] What's happening? Huh?

1260
00:49:30,125 --> 00:49:31,458
[mumbling]
Hey, uh, you want, uh...

1261
00:49:31,625 --> 00:49:33,750
[all mumbling indistinctly]

1262
00:49:34,916 --> 00:49:35,958
[clearing throat]

1263
00:49:36,583 --> 00:49:38,125
- [man] What's that?
- [both mumbling]

1264
00:49:38,291 --> 00:49:39,208
Say what now?

1265
00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:41,208
[all mumbling indistinctly]

1266
00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:45,125
Do you want to buy some
Dexatrim? My God...

1267
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,625
- [Steef mumbling]
- Dexatrim?

1268
00:49:46,791 --> 00:49:48,000
Yeah. Would you like
to buy some drugs?

1269
00:49:49,833 --> 00:49:51,666
- DEA! You're under arrest.
- [radios static]

1270
00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:53,541
- What?
- You're under arrest. Hands where I can see 'em.

1271
00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:54,833
- [Markie] Oh, fuck.
- Put them up.

1272
00:49:55,166 --> 00:49:57,791
- Markie? Who did-- what?
- [sirens blaring]

1273
00:49:58,083 --> 00:49:59,625
- [music continues]
- [tires screeching]

1274
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,250
Did we win something?

1275
00:50:01,541 --> 00:50:03,208
Department of Homeland Security,
on the ground!

1276
00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:04,916
- [Markie] Shit.
- [Steef] Markie, are they buying it?

1277
00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:07,250
Shut your face. Back off, DHS.
This is a DEA bust.

1278
00:50:07,416 --> 00:50:09,000
DEA?
Nobody has the sniffles here.

1279
00:50:09,166 --> 00:50:10,500
Department of Transportation,
all right?

1280
00:50:10,666 --> 00:50:12,458
- These skips are coming with us.
- Flakers on DOT.

1281
00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:14,500
- Back up... [indistinct]
- Nobody called for a meter maid.

1282
00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,083
- Get on the ground.
- [DEA agent] Fuck you. Get up, hands up.

1283
00:50:16,250 --> 00:50:18,083
We saw what you did
to rabbits, you sickos.

1284
00:50:18,250 --> 00:50:19,875
- [DEA agent] Get up.
- [DHS agent] Get down on the ground.

1285
00:50:20,041 --> 00:50:21,541
- Get the-- Shut the--
- On your knees. Do you hear me?

1286
00:50:21,708 --> 00:50:23,041
- [DOT agent] Get up!
- Up or down?

1287
00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:24,583
Either way is fine,
just say which one.

1288
00:50:24,750 --> 00:50:26,083
- Get up!
- Step towards us.

1289
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:28,250
- What are you doing? [groans]
- Hands up!

1290
00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:30,458
[DHS agent] Stop doing
<i>Charlie's Angels!</i>

1291
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,541
- What is this, <i>Cirque du Soleil?</i>
- [overlapping dialogues]

1292
00:50:32,708 --> 00:50:34,583
Stop pointing that at me,
I could get an eye infection.

1293
00:50:34,791 --> 00:50:36,791
- How could you-- This way!
- [DEA agent] Stay still.

1294
00:50:36,958 --> 00:50:38,875
- Hands off him.
Hands on the ground. - [DEA agent] Up, up, up, up!

1295
00:50:39,041 --> 00:50:41,333
- Stop Titanicking.
- You two have clearly been to- the parties.

1296
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,166
- [both] DTF.
- Yes.

1297
00:50:43,333 --> 00:50:45,125
[both] Sorry, I think
we're in the wrong place.

1298
00:50:45,291 --> 00:50:46,250
- No, no. You can stay.
- Yeah.

1299
00:50:46,416 --> 00:50:47,416
On your knees.

1300
00:50:48,333 --> 00:50:50,750
DTF, do you like black guys?

1301
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,541
- I'm a great listener.
- [clears throat] A crime?

1302
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,208
- [guns clicking]
- [DHS agent] On your knees.

1303
00:50:55,375 --> 00:50:57,041
- Everybody back off.
- Get out of here, Triple A.

1304
00:50:57,208 --> 00:50:58,625
- One of those--
- Don't you attack me.

1305
00:50:58,791 --> 00:51:00,625
This is a transportation issue.

1306
00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:03,166
- [overlapping dialogues]
- ...could call you from Immigration.

1307
00:51:03,333 --> 00:51:04,625
Woah, woah, woah. Easy now.

1308
00:51:04,791 --> 00:51:05,833
[DOT agent] I have a badge.

1309
00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:09,000
- [overlapping dialogues]
- [sirens blaring]

1310
00:51:09,166 --> 00:51:10,291
[music fades]

1311
00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:19,666
What's up, perv?
Were you REM-sleeping in there?

1312
00:51:20,291 --> 00:51:23,000
Dude, I'm glad you're up because
we've got a big day today.

1313
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:24,833
We're going to sell some Dexy.

1314
00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,166
[Steef] What about
yesterday, Markie?

1315
00:51:28,291 --> 00:51:29,500
When we went to get ice cream?

1316
00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:31,208
No, when we escaped
the drug bust.

1317
00:51:31,375 --> 00:51:32,958
Wait, was that yesterday?

1318
00:51:33,166 --> 00:51:35,666
Oh, my God, that felt like
a week ago. How weird.

1319
00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:37,833
I don't know if you've been
keeping up with the news, but

1320
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,333
we got away with it.

1321
00:51:39,875 --> 00:51:41,250
So we've gotta try again, right?

1322
00:51:41,416 --> 00:51:42,875
But this time
I've got it all figured out.

1323
00:51:43,125 --> 00:51:45,291
So, we're gonna repo it.
I'm going to take all the drugs,

1324
00:51:45,458 --> 00:51:46,791
put them in the
trunk of the car.

1325
00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:48,333
They just can't be on us.

1326
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,125
Because possession is
seven-tenths of the law.

1327
00:51:50,291 --> 00:51:51,333
So we're golden.

1328
00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:53,708
All right, Markie.

1329
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,333
But I've got to tell you
something.

1330
00:51:55,791 --> 00:51:56,875
Do not...

1331
00:51:58,291 --> 00:51:59,958
...feed the lizard.

1332
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,958
- I didn't.
- Do not...

1333
00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:03,916
- I barely talk to that lizard.
- I came in yesterday,

1334
00:52:04,083 --> 00:52:06,000
- it was eating something.
- I gave him one Skittle.

1335
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:09,333
Markie, get the pipe cleaner.

1336
00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:11,291
- Fuck.
- It's in the drawer.

1337
00:52:11,458 --> 00:52:12,583
[Steef grunts]

1338
00:52:14,958 --> 00:52:16,583
Did you say something,
you fat fuck?

1339
00:52:16,791 --> 00:52:17,833
[Western-style music]

1340
00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:25,333
Oh, yeah.

1341
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:26,708
[Steef] Nice.

1342
00:52:26,875 --> 00:52:28,291
Who runs this town,
motherfucker?

1343
00:52:28,583 --> 00:52:30,291
- You do.
- Yeah.

1344
00:52:30,916 --> 00:52:32,875
Man, we're gonna get
my mom that cock.

1345
00:52:33,041 --> 00:52:34,791
Yeah, wiener money.

1346
00:52:34,958 --> 00:52:35,958
[Steef] What font is that?

1347
00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:37,208
[Markie] I think that's Roman.

1348
00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:38,916
Oh, we got a customer, man.

1349
00:52:39,083 --> 00:52:40,125
All right, come on.

1350
00:52:40,541 --> 00:52:41,583
All right, be cool, be...

1351
00:52:42,416 --> 00:52:45,416
Yo, yo, what you <i>gringos</i>up to?

1352
00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:46,875
I'm brunette. [light chuckle]

1353
00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,875
Oh, a couple poppers, huh?

1354
00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:52,000
You guys slangin' those
gay makers, huh?

1355
00:52:52,333 --> 00:52:54,875
Put that hyena
on your cock, man.

1356
00:52:55,041 --> 00:52:56,375
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Oh, hell yeah.

1357
00:52:56,541 --> 00:52:57,875
That shit'll make your dick
burp, homie.

1358
00:52:58,041 --> 00:52:59,416
- This is fuckin' straight.
- [man] Ooh...

1359
00:53:00,416 --> 00:53:02,583
- Dexatrim.
- Oh, shit.

1360
00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:04,291
I heard that shit slaps.

1361
00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:07,375
My buddy was on it,
and now he can't see his kids.

1362
00:53:07,666 --> 00:53:09,708
Lucky his kids fuckin' suck.

1363
00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:11,250
- [honking]
- Okay. Bro,

1364
00:53:11,416 --> 00:53:12,541
- chill.
- Chill, Grimace.

1365
00:53:12,708 --> 00:53:14,416
Come on, dude. You in or out?

1366
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:16,291
- How much?
- For how many?

1367
00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:17,750
Can you handle seven?

1368
00:53:17,916 --> 00:53:18,833
I can't do that many,
I don't think.

1369
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,458
I have to work in one hours.

1370
00:53:20,666 --> 00:53:22,083
- I tell you what...
- Come on...

1371
00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:23,166
- What a pussy, huh?
- [man] I'll give you...

1372
00:53:23,666 --> 00:53:25,291
- ...20 bucks.
- Are you a cop?

1373
00:53:25,458 --> 00:53:26,541
You have to tell us if you are.

1374
00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,166
I'm a fuckin' boss!

1375
00:53:28,333 --> 00:53:29,416
You don't have to tell us that.

1376
00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,083
Yeah, I do. I'm a boss.

1377
00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:32,416
Write that shit down.

1378
00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:33,750
[Steef] Okay, we'll notate it.

1379
00:53:37,791 --> 00:53:39,041
[sniffles] It's real.

1380
00:53:40,375 --> 00:53:42,250
[Markie]
Yeah, man, it's party time.

1381
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,458
- Oh, shit.
- [Steef] Oh, they're chewable?

1382
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,833
- [Markie] Oh, goddamn.
- [munching rapidly]

1383
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,250
- Oh, woah. Slurp God.
- [chuckles]

1384
00:53:48,750 --> 00:53:50,500
- Hey, that's a lot. Woah.
- [Markie] Oh, yeah.

1385
00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:51,958
You're gonna pop a gasket,

1386
00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:53,375
- dude. That's too--
- Woah.

1387
00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:55,041
- [choking]
- Oh, shit, he's glitching.

1388
00:53:55,250 --> 00:53:56,833
Shit, bro.
Check your matrix, homie.

1389
00:53:57,375 --> 00:53:59,666
<i>- Órale,</i>motherfuckers.
- [rock music]

1390
00:53:59,916 --> 00:54:01,583
I feel like Peso Pluma.

1391
00:54:01,750 --> 00:54:05,083
I'm gonna propose to my
girlfriend and join a gym.

1392
00:54:05,291 --> 00:54:07,083
This is the best day of my life.

1393
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:14,791
- [music fades]
- [sirens blaring]

1394
00:54:14,958 --> 00:54:16,166
- [tires screech]
- [doors open]

1395
00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,375
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, woah...
- [helicopters overhead]

1396
00:54:19,541 --> 00:54:21,166
[indistinct radio chattering]

1397
00:54:22,875 --> 00:54:25,000
A-- Again, we will not be
pressing charges,

1398
00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:26,916
so I guess we're free to go?

1399
00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:28,875
Pipe down,
you little figure skater.

1400
00:54:29,041 --> 00:54:29,958
[suspenseful music]

1401
00:54:30,125 --> 00:54:31,166
Hello.

1402
00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:33,500
- [door closes]
- I'm Agent Boyd

1403
00:54:33,666 --> 00:54:34,958
Federal Bureau of Investigation.

1404
00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:36,208
This is Agent Tally.

1405
00:54:36,875 --> 00:54:39,250
Oh, also, I'm a magician.

1406
00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:42,000
- [woman] Oh.
- And I will pull the living hell

1407
00:54:42,458 --> 00:54:43,750
out of your asses...

1408
00:54:44,791 --> 00:54:46,500
unless you do
exactly what I ask.

1409
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,458
- That guy's jacked.
- [Markie] Yeah.

1410
00:54:48,625 --> 00:54:50,375
You just interrupted Agent Boyd.

1411
00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:54,333
You do it again,
I'll sew your fucking mouth shut

1412
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:56,083
with diarrhea!

1413
00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:58,791
[slams table] It's bigger
than we know, and I'm scared.

1414
00:54:59,166 --> 00:55:00,541
And you know
what I'm talking about.

1415
00:55:00,708 --> 00:55:03,000
- Me?
- Was he looking at somebody else?

1416
00:55:03,416 --> 00:55:05,208
Ask another dumb question again,

1417
00:55:05,375 --> 00:55:06,708
I'll zip you up in a body bag

1418
00:55:06,875 --> 00:55:08,916
and beat you
with a shovel for six years.

1419
00:55:09,125 --> 00:55:10,166
I like the shorter guy.

1420
00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:18,291
You two are gonna tell me every
fucking little thing you know.

1421
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,166
My father was incarcerated
when I was seven, and--

1422
00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,000
About the restaurant, idiots!

1423
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:26,958
[both]
Hey, don't call him an idiot.

1424
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,083
Okay, listen.
They don't base promotions

1425
00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:33,000
on any... Code of Ethics.
It's really...

1426
00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:36,250
And the chips have salt on them,
but sometimes we put more salt.

1427
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,083
They add salt.
Also, this is true.

1428
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:41,333
We have to take a break before
our shift, you understand?

1429
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:43,458
It makes no sense. We get there,
and they want us to

1430
00:55:43,625 --> 00:55:44,666
- take a shift--
- [cup thuds]

1431
00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:49,166
Who in the restaurant
are you selling drugs for?

1432
00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:51,375
We just got passed over
for waiter, all right?

1433
00:55:51,541 --> 00:55:52,500
We need money.

1434
00:55:52,666 --> 00:55:54,250
And it's not even a big deal.

1435
00:55:54,416 --> 00:55:55,416
It's just Dexatrim.

1436
00:55:56,291 --> 00:55:58,541
Did you say... "Dexatrim"?

1437
00:55:58,875 --> 00:55:59,875
Yes, he did.

1438
00:56:00,416 --> 00:56:02,166
- Yeah.
- [Steef] Yeah.

1439
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,541
[door opens]

1440
00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:09,500
My wife was on Dexatrim.

1441
00:56:10,291 --> 00:56:12,750
She painted our house on it
before, you know.

1442
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,666
These halfwits don't know shit.

1443
00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:16,166
"We put extra salt."

1444
00:56:16,333 --> 00:56:17,625
Jesus.

1445
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:18,833
A couple of busboys
trying to come up.

1446
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,041
I can relate.

1447
00:56:20,458 --> 00:56:22,083
Passed over
for waiter so many times,

1448
00:56:22,375 --> 00:56:23,625
I joined the force.

1449
00:56:23,791 --> 00:56:24,625
I mean, either
they're-- they're dumb

1450
00:56:24,791 --> 00:56:25,958
or really fucking dumb.

1451
00:56:26,291 --> 00:56:27,500
You'll want to see this.

1452
00:56:28,583 --> 00:56:29,583
[music continues]

1453
00:56:30,083 --> 00:56:31,125
Ha!

1454
00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:34,791
You know this guy?

1455
00:56:36,583 --> 00:56:37,916
He's a drug kingpin...

1456
00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:40,291
...known as Padre Noche.

1457
00:56:45,041 --> 00:56:46,291
- No.
- No, I don't think so.

1458
00:56:46,541 --> 00:56:47,583
Look at it again.

1459
00:56:48,083 --> 00:56:51,000
[both] Uh...

1460
00:56:51,166 --> 00:56:52,208
[both] No.

1461
00:56:55,416 --> 00:56:56,500
You know what? [chuckles]

1462
00:56:56,666 --> 00:56:57,708
I believe them.

1463
00:56:57,875 --> 00:56:58,916
[chuckles]

1464
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,291
Me too.

1465
00:57:00,458 --> 00:57:01,708
Can't believe I'm saying it.

1466
00:57:02,750 --> 00:57:04,458
Can we send them in as C.I.s?

1467
00:57:04,833 --> 00:57:05,833
[snickers]

1468
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,250
They could get killed.

1469
00:57:07,708 --> 00:57:08,708
Hopefully.

1470
00:57:09,416 --> 00:57:10,458
[music continues]

1471
00:57:11,208 --> 00:57:12,750
I'll shoot straight
with you boys. Um...

1472
00:57:14,208 --> 00:57:16,041
...selling fake
Dexatrim is illegal.

1473
00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:18,208
- Fake? No, this is...
- Shit's--

1474
00:57:18,708 --> 00:57:19,708
Why'd that guy crash?

1475
00:57:19,875 --> 00:57:20,958
Could've been a Raiders fan.

1476
00:57:21,125 --> 00:57:22,666
We don't know. We don't care!

1477
00:57:22,833 --> 00:57:25,416
Listen, test it again.
The guy who sold it to me

1478
00:57:25,583 --> 00:57:27,291
said he muled it
across the border

1479
00:57:27,458 --> 00:57:29,041
and the mule
got a little bit of it

1480
00:57:29,208 --> 00:57:31,916
and got so high he fucked
the wheels off a Ford Festiva.

1481
00:57:32,625 --> 00:57:33,666
- [donkey braying]
- [playful music]

1482
00:57:34,708 --> 00:57:36,000
- [donkey braying]
- [screaming]

1483
00:57:36,333 --> 00:57:37,583
[tires bursting]

1484
00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:39,166
- What we do know...
- [suspenseful music]

1485
00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:41,541
...is that we're
willing to drop the charges.

1486
00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:44,666
If you can help us out.

1487
00:57:44,958 --> 00:57:46,541
[Tally] We've been scoping
out Border Bistro.

1488
00:57:46,708 --> 00:57:48,916
Lot of heavy drug activity
passing through there.

1489
00:57:49,083 --> 00:57:50,208
But you want us to be narcs?

1490
00:57:50,708 --> 00:57:52,500
- At our own restaurant?
- It's either that

1491
00:57:52,666 --> 00:57:54,375
or you go to
court for selling illegal drugs.

1492
00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:59,250
Or go to prison for life but
hang yourself after two weeks.

1493
00:57:59,416 --> 00:58:00,916
- Oh...
- [Boyd] We will put you

1494
00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:03,125
somewhere first under cover

1495
00:58:03,291 --> 00:58:05,666
so that you can get a...
feel for it.

1496
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:08,375
- Uh...
- [Boyd] What do you say, fellas?

1497
00:58:08,541 --> 00:58:09,750
Huh? Yes?

1498
00:58:09,916 --> 00:58:10,958
- Is that a "yes"?
- [music fades]

1499
00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:15,083
- [Steef] Yikes. Seniors.
- [Markie] Yeah...

1500
00:58:15,666 --> 00:58:16,958
And they're big.

1501
00:58:17,791 --> 00:58:20,625
Hey guys, what kinda intel are
we supposed to be grabbing here?

1502
00:58:20,833 --> 00:58:23,833
Just keep your ears open
and your cocks soft. Got it?

1503
00:58:24,541 --> 00:58:27,333
Look, overall
this is just practice.

1504
00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:29,916
So... see you at 3 p.m.

1505
00:58:31,333 --> 00:58:32,375
[interesting music]

1506
00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:36,958
[groans] Okay, bye dads!

1507
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,708
Yes, our dads are gay, people.

1508
00:58:40,875 --> 00:58:41,916
Calm down.

1509
00:58:43,250 --> 00:58:44,500
Those guys are gay?

1510
00:58:44,666 --> 00:58:45,958
- [Markie] I think so.
- [Steef] Wow.

1511
00:58:46,166 --> 00:58:47,666
They got the mustache for sure.

1512
00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:51,000
[Steef] Oh, yeah,
those are prison curtains.

1513
00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:53,250
Look, science fair
is in three weeks.

1514
00:58:54,041 --> 00:58:55,083
What do you got?

1515
00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:57,041
Oh-- oh, you got fentanyl?

1516
00:58:57,375 --> 00:58:59,250
- You're taking fentanyl?
- I got-- no, I'm taking fencing.

1517
00:58:59,416 --> 00:59:01,416
- What do you got?
- Oh, God...

1518
00:59:01,666 --> 00:59:04,541
I got chorus and remeia--

1519
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,083
- remiadal. Re-- Yeah.
- Remedial reading. Yeah.

1520
00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:08,500
- Want to switch?
- No, that's good. No.

1521
00:59:08,916 --> 00:59:10,666
Alright, so we-- right here

1522
00:59:10,833 --> 00:59:12,166
- right after school, okay?
- Yeah.

1523
00:59:12,333 --> 00:59:14,125
- Okay. Yeah.
- You got this? Soak it up.

1524
00:59:14,291 --> 00:59:15,791
Get some info. You're wired.

1525
00:59:15,958 --> 00:59:17,166
- Okay, okay, right.
- Let's do it.

1526
00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:19,375
[both] You're going this way?

1527
00:59:19,541 --> 00:59:20,666
- Yeah, bro.
- Ah. Perfect.

1528
00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:21,875
[school bell ringing]

1529
00:59:22,208 --> 00:59:23,458
Uh, we're new.

1530
00:59:23,708 --> 00:59:25,583
Can anyone tell me
what's going on here?

1531
00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:27,666
[kid] Uh, that's um...

1532
00:59:28,208 --> 00:59:29,416
- Fuck.
- Language.

1533
00:59:29,583 --> 00:59:31,458
Sorry, sir, um...

1534
00:59:32,458 --> 00:59:35,291
It's um... Shit, it's a--
it's a fucking...

1535
00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:37,000
Fuck, what's it called?
It's a-- it's a pipe.

1536
00:59:37,166 --> 00:59:38,458
Language, please.

1537
00:59:39,083 --> 00:59:41,208
- Wrong.
- That's a meth maker, huh?

1538
00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:42,541
[class chuckles]

1539
00:59:43,958 --> 00:59:46,750
What Victor was s-- saying, sir,
is that it's a sump pump.

1540
00:59:46,916 --> 00:59:49,250
Correct. And what
can you tell me about it?

1541
00:59:49,875 --> 00:59:52,958
A sump pump collects water
underneath your house...

1542
00:59:53,833 --> 00:59:57,541
...until it fills enough it
triggers a float switch

1543
00:59:57,916 --> 00:59:59,583
which activates the
discharge pipe

1544
00:59:59,750 --> 01:00:01,625
which pushes the water
away from your house.

1545
01:00:01,791 --> 01:00:02,833
Exactly.

1546
01:00:03,125 --> 01:00:05,083
Damn, new kid's a contractor.

1547
01:00:05,333 --> 01:00:07,791
- [class chuckles]
- [kid] Thanks, bro.

1548
01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:09,125
That's what I was trying to say.

1549
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,583
Hey, Mr. Gotti tried
to fart in my mom's butt.

1550
01:00:11,833 --> 01:00:14,083
- [class chuckles]
- [Steef] Oh, God...

1551
01:00:14,916 --> 01:00:18,000
When a man and a woman get
together in a certain way--

1552
01:00:18,166 --> 01:00:19,666
- Handjob?
- No.

1553
01:00:20,208 --> 01:00:22,500
Hmm... What is a handjob?

1554
01:00:23,375 --> 01:00:24,916
That is correct.

1555
01:00:25,083 --> 01:00:27,041
Yeah, I know my shit.

1556
01:00:31,208 --> 01:00:32,250
Next one.

1557
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:37,125
[Steef sighs]
Oh, what a day, huh?

1558
01:00:37,291 --> 01:00:38,708
- [groans]
- [music fades]

1559
01:00:39,583 --> 01:00:40,791
[groan]

1560
01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:44,125
Oh, my stomach hurts.
I had too many Twixes at lunch.

1561
01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,625
What did we learn, fellas?
Give us the drop.

1562
01:00:46,791 --> 01:00:48,166
Well, it was a pretty tough
first day.

1563
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,333
You guys know Thomas Murphy
from band class?

1564
01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:54,291
No. He's a dealer or something?

1565
01:00:54,458 --> 01:00:56,166
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- You'll want to hear this.

1566
01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:57,666
Listen to this shit.

1567
01:00:57,875 --> 01:00:59,458
- [clicks]
- [band playing on recording]

1568
01:01:04,500 --> 01:01:05,500
What'd I miss?

1569
01:01:05,666 --> 01:01:06,750
- [clicks]
- [recording stops]

1570
01:01:07,166 --> 01:01:08,583
- Oh, you didn't catch that?
- [Boyd] No.

1571
01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:10,416
- He sucks.
- [chuckles]

1572
01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:12,333
Yeah. And he's first chair.

1573
01:01:12,708 --> 01:01:14,750
- I'm better than him.
- This dude barely plays

1574
01:01:14,916 --> 01:01:16,916
- and he's better than him.
- Yeah, I play once a month.

1575
01:01:17,291 --> 01:01:18,333
Jesus.

1576
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:20,750
What you got?

1577
01:01:20,916 --> 01:01:21,791
[Markie]
Some guy told me I look like

1578
01:01:21,958 --> 01:01:23,458
"Low-Ironman."

1579
01:01:23,708 --> 01:01:27,416
And another guy said I look like
an iPhone one inch.

1580
01:01:27,583 --> 01:01:29,500
That means you have
a small dick and you're old.

1581
01:01:29,666 --> 01:01:30,875
Yeah, it's a combo burn.

1582
01:01:31,375 --> 01:01:33,541
Oh... I knew it was a negative.

1583
01:01:33,750 --> 01:01:35,708
Don't sweat this one, fellas.
Look...

1584
01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:38,000
...we're gonna send you
in full steam tomorrow

1585
01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:39,208
at the restaurant.

1586
01:01:39,625 --> 01:01:40,541
You're ready.

1587
01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:42,625
- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.

1588
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,375
[Western music sting]

1589
01:01:45,375 --> 01:01:47,541
Okay. We just gotta seem like
we're not doing nothing.

1590
01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:48,750
Totally normal.

1591
01:01:49,041 --> 01:01:50,791
- [bubbling]
- You hear that?

1592
01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,541
[Steef] Yeah.

1593
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,416
- What is that?
- [liquid sloshing]

1594
01:01:54,583 --> 01:01:57,333
[Steef]
Sounds like a Rubik's cube.

1595
01:01:57,541 --> 01:01:58,583
[Markie] Yeah.

1596
01:01:59,041 --> 01:02:00,250
Wrapped in plastic.

1597
01:02:01,041 --> 01:02:04,208
With a backsplash
of butt bustle.

1598
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,125
- [Markie] Mm-hmm.
- [Steef] Vitamin B piss.

1599
01:02:07,291 --> 01:02:08,500
Maybe a Barbie doll?

1600
01:02:08,791 --> 01:02:09,791
[bubbling]

1601
01:02:10,375 --> 01:02:11,583
Just the torso.

1602
01:02:12,333 --> 01:02:14,041
- Yes.
- Hmm.

1603
01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:16,041
Yeah, something
is clogging those lines.

1604
01:02:16,208 --> 01:02:17,250
- Yep. Def--
- For sure.

1605
01:02:22,041 --> 01:02:23,458
Think we should tell
manager Tim?

1606
01:02:23,958 --> 01:02:26,500
I mean, I don't give a fuck.
Ah-- it's their problem.

1607
01:02:26,666 --> 01:02:27,916
They got insurance.

1608
01:02:28,083 --> 01:02:29,666
- Oh, they do?
- Yeah, we got work to do.

1609
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:30,875
Yeah, we're really busy.

1610
01:02:31,208 --> 01:02:32,458
[bubbling]

1611
01:02:33,125 --> 01:02:34,166
[dramatic music]

1612
01:02:47,041 --> 01:02:48,916
- Good evening.
- Hey, do you wanna play a game

1613
01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:51,166
where we open up your locker
and see what's inside of it?

1614
01:02:52,916 --> 01:02:54,125
- I have not.
- Hmm. What is it,

1615
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:55,791
a collection
of criminal activity?

1616
01:02:59,750 --> 01:03:00,708
- Oh,
- Hmm...

1617
01:03:00,875 --> 01:03:01,958
sounds like a healthy divorce.

1618
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,708
- Take care.
- Noted.

1619
01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:06,291
[music continues]

1620
01:03:06,625 --> 01:03:07,708
[Steef speaking Spanish]

1621
01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:09,625
- [speaks Spanish]
- Truth or dare?

1622
01:03:09,791 --> 01:03:11,333
Have you been selling drugs
for a company

1623
01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:13,666
outside of our company,
but using our company?

1624
01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:16,750
That's also a cartel that works
in Mexico or America?

1625
01:03:17,291 --> 01:03:19,208
Oh, no, I'm vegan.

1626
01:03:19,541 --> 01:03:20,875
- Hmm.
- Carry on.

1627
01:03:21,833 --> 01:03:22,875
Did you get that?

1628
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,208
Oh, it's Manager Tim.

1629
01:03:25,958 --> 01:03:27,666
Have you guys seen
the new schedule?

1630
01:03:27,833 --> 01:03:29,458
[Markie] Oh, yeah,
we had a question about that.

1631
01:03:29,625 --> 01:03:31,750
Also, we were just telling each
other our deepest,

1632
01:03:31,916 --> 01:03:33,916
darkest, uh,
secrets for no reason.

1633
01:03:34,083 --> 01:03:35,125
What's yours?

1634
01:03:36,625 --> 01:03:38,708
I once lived with a guy
for ten months.

1635
01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,916
He went around telling people
I was gay.

1636
01:03:42,416 --> 01:03:43,625
So we broke up.

1637
01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:45,291
[interesting music]

1638
01:03:46,250 --> 01:03:47,291
Back to work.

1639
01:03:48,291 --> 01:03:49,333
Sir...

1640
01:03:50,208 --> 01:03:51,750
And we're out of chalupas.

1641
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:56,000
We got him.

1642
01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:00,208
[music fades]

1643
01:04:01,083 --> 01:04:02,125
[hip-hop music]

1644
01:04:02,583 --> 01:04:03,541
Fuck, man, they're not--

1645
01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:05,166
Oh, who are those guys?

1646
01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:08,083
[Mark] <i>Oh, shit, are those</i>
<i>those OnlyFans guys?</i>

1647
01:04:09,166 --> 01:04:11,000
Just don't look at these guys.
Keep walking.

1648
01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:13,500
[Markie] Hey guys.

1649
01:04:14,708 --> 01:04:15,875
- [Steef] Good afternoon.
- [Markie] Hey.

1650
01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:28,458
These guys are upset
about something, huh?

1651
01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:31,791
[man 1] ...motherfuckers.

1652
01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:39,666
Yeah. No trouble, fellas.
Just gonna get some pizza.

1653
01:04:39,833 --> 01:04:40,875
Medium pizzas.

1654
01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:42,958
Come on out, fuck you.

1655
01:04:46,375 --> 01:04:47,666
Are we allowed to leave?

1656
01:04:47,916 --> 01:04:49,666
What? What? What?

1657
01:04:50,958 --> 01:04:52,000
[engine struggling]

1658
01:05:01,708 --> 01:05:02,625
You want us
to get you something?

1659
01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:03,833
[glass shattering]

1660
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,333
- Fuck, dude.
- [man 1]

1661
01:05:22,958 --> 01:05:24,000
[Markie]
We don't want any trouble.

1662
01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:25,541
[engine starts]

1663
01:05:29,666 --> 01:05:30,708
[engine revving]

1664
01:05:32,041 --> 01:05:33,000
[Western-like music]

1665
01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:34,375
Wow.

1666
01:05:34,791 --> 01:05:36,416
Where's Neighborhood Watch
when you need them?

1667
01:05:37,041 --> 01:05:38,083
[music fades]

1668
01:05:38,458 --> 01:05:40,083
What about this slurp soup?

1669
01:05:40,916 --> 01:05:42,291
Should I have a
cup or bowl, you think?

1670
01:05:45,083 --> 01:05:47,291
I might get
this baby bird burger.

1671
01:05:49,333 --> 01:05:52,208
- Samuel. What?
- Hey.

1672
01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:54,833
Dude, nice hat, man.

1673
01:05:55,041 --> 01:05:57,291
- That traditional garb?
- Garb, man? Wha--

1674
01:05:57,458 --> 01:05:58,708
What are you
talking about, man? It's a--

1675
01:05:58,875 --> 01:06:00,125
It's a tourniquet.

1676
01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:02,791
I got jumped over
at the Hacienda Grill, son.

1677
01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:04,541
Twelve versus one.

1678
01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:06,166
I tried to use some of my moves,

1679
01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:07,791
but, man, they had pipes
and stuff, man.

1680
01:06:07,958 --> 01:06:08,958
Lesson learned.

1681
01:06:09,125 --> 01:06:10,125
I'm still recovering.

1682
01:06:10,291 --> 01:06:11,583
Sorry to hear-- you look--

1683
01:06:11,750 --> 01:06:12,875
- you look-- You look good.
- You, uh...

1684
01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:13,958
- You look how you look.
- Yeah.

1685
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:15,166
I look good?

1686
01:06:15,333 --> 01:06:16,500
Yeah. [pats]

1687
01:06:17,166 --> 01:06:18,583
- Yeah.
- I got my grip back.

1688
01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:19,916
- [chuckles]
- [Steef] Oh, yeah. You could...

1689
01:06:20,083 --> 01:06:22,000
- ...tickle anybody.
- Yeah, man.

1690
01:06:22,166 --> 01:06:23,416
Sorry to hear about that.
I thought that was just

1691
01:06:23,583 --> 01:06:25,083
- at our restaurant.
- Yeah.

1692
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:28,333
Dude, I can't believe you have
to get beat up to be a busboy.

1693
01:06:28,708 --> 01:06:32,458
Do you know what,
uh, fresh fish means?

1694
01:06:32,625 --> 01:06:33,666
[Western-style music]

1695
01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:38,000
- What are you doing? What--
- [thud]

1696
01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:40,458
[chuckles] Nah...

1697
01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:42,541
It's everywhere near the border.

1698
01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:45,375
Yeah. It's the price
we pay to work,

1699
01:06:45,541 --> 01:06:46,875
- and it's worth it.
- [Samuel] Yeah.

1700
01:06:47,041 --> 01:06:48,958
I still can't see past
seven feet.

1701
01:06:49,208 --> 01:06:50,375
That's not that far, dude.

1702
01:06:50,583 --> 01:06:51,916
Maybe you should
take a shift off.

1703
01:06:52,333 --> 01:06:54,666
That's why I might need
some outside help.

1704
01:06:55,541 --> 01:06:57,458
I heard you were
the boys to talk to.

1705
01:06:58,708 --> 01:06:59,750
Hold up a second.

1706
01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:01,708
- Do not move.
- No.

1707
01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:03,125
I need this.

1708
01:07:05,833 --> 01:07:07,458
- Go--
- Are you trying to get us in a threesome?

1709
01:07:07,625 --> 01:07:09,583
No, dude. He's j-- janking out.

1710
01:07:09,750 --> 01:07:11,458
He needs that goddamn Dexatrim.

1711
01:07:12,291 --> 01:07:13,833
Shit. We gotta get out of here.

1712
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,791
I mean, the cops
have all our stuff anyway.

1713
01:07:16,625 --> 01:07:17,708
Hey, can we get a check?

1714
01:07:18,083 --> 01:07:19,083
I got your tab.

1715
01:07:19,833 --> 01:07:24,083
Just... remember me
when the plug pulls up.

1716
01:07:25,916 --> 01:07:27,500
- That's it. We're Rick--
- Goddamn. We're really

1717
01:07:27,666 --> 01:07:28,833
Scarface and the other guy.

1718
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:30,125
Yeah, Rick Ross.

1719
01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:31,750
- Let's go.
- Yeah.

1720
01:07:33,291 --> 01:07:34,333
[rock music]

1721
01:07:36,291 --> 01:07:37,583
- [music fades]
<i>- Gracias.</i>

1722
01:07:38,583 --> 01:07:40,416
Thank you, Gregor.
Amen.

1723
01:07:40,583 --> 01:07:41,625
Let's put it away.

1724
01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:44,625
I have some bad news,
guys and gals.

1725
01:07:44,791 --> 01:07:46,291
I know. Life is bad news.

1726
01:07:46,458 --> 01:07:48,500
But this is the formaldehyde
cherry on top

1727
01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:50,000
of the shit sundae.

1728
01:07:50,291 --> 01:07:52,416
You know Rick,
the new waiter appointee?

1729
01:07:52,583 --> 01:07:54,625
Yeah. Um, someone said

1730
01:07:54,791 --> 01:07:57,750
that he only got the job because
his grandfather was a model,

1731
01:07:57,916 --> 01:08:03,125
and I just want to say that my
foremothers weren't even allowed

1732
01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:04,666
to be models.

1733
01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:07,416
No one knows what the hell
you're talking about.

1734
01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:09,000
- The first model was a woman,
- [contained laughter]

1735
01:08:09,166 --> 01:08:10,625
and most models still are.

1736
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,375
I get waxed.

1737
01:08:12,541 --> 01:08:14,250
That's called jealousy,
maybe work harder.

1738
01:08:14,416 --> 01:08:17,333
What I was going to say was
that Rick has not shown up

1739
01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:19,708
for three straight shifts.

1740
01:08:20,666 --> 01:08:22,458
So if anybody knows
what the hell is going on,

1741
01:08:22,625 --> 01:08:24,583
I'd appreciate
you letting me know.

1742
01:08:24,750 --> 01:08:26,958
His family is concerned as well.

1743
01:08:27,333 --> 01:08:30,666
If he were mine, I wouldn't let
him out of my sight.

1744
01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,458
But he's not mine,
I'm his employer.

1745
01:08:34,958 --> 01:08:37,333
And if he continues
to not show up,

1746
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:39,041
God help us, we're gonna
have to promote

1747
01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:40,541
one of you piglets.

1748
01:08:40,708 --> 01:08:42,791
So everybody
stay sharp out there.

1749
01:08:43,208 --> 01:08:45,000
- Back to work.
- [speaks Spanish]

1750
01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,750
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

1751
01:08:46,916 --> 01:08:47,958
[indistinct]

1752
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,666
So Rick--
Rick is handsome and missing.

1753
01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:55,625
How much attention does one
dude need? I mean, it's unreal.

1754
01:08:56,083 --> 01:08:57,625
I'm just saying, it's kinda wild

1755
01:08:57,791 --> 01:09:00,458
how a waiter can not
show up. Or he quits,

1756
01:09:00,625 --> 01:09:02,291
they put out a freaking APB.

1757
01:09:02,625 --> 01:09:04,333
Do you think anyone
gives a fat fuck if we quit?

1758
01:09:04,500 --> 01:09:05,541
No.

1759
01:09:06,583 --> 01:09:09,375
[sighs]
In fact, let's test that.

1760
01:09:10,375 --> 01:09:12,083
- Oh.
- I wouldn't.

1761
01:09:12,375 --> 01:09:13,375
I quit!

1762
01:09:13,541 --> 01:09:15,583
[Oscar] Fresh fish!

1763
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,000
- [Western-style music]
- No.

1764
01:09:18,166 --> 01:09:20,208
- No, I was just say--
I was just say-- - [Oscar] Get that titty dick!

1765
01:09:20,625 --> 01:09:22,708
- [Steef grunts]
Merk that white boy! - [Markie screams] I'm scared!

1766
01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:24,166
- [overlapping dialogues]
- [punches and kicks thudding]

1767
01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:25,875
- [Oscar] You little bitch!
- [crunching]

1768
01:09:26,041 --> 01:09:28,125
- [Steef] Tickle that dirty baby!
- [Markie] No, no, no!

1769
01:09:28,333 --> 01:09:29,375
[music fades]

1770
01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:31,875
- [June] Okay, hold still.
- [Markie groans]

1771
01:09:32,041 --> 01:09:34,458
- Ready? Yeah, it's okay.
- [groans]

1772
01:09:34,625 --> 01:09:36,208
- Easy.
- [chuckles]

1773
01:09:36,666 --> 01:09:38,916
- You're fine.
- Ow...

1774
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:40,708
- Let's see.
- [slow country music]

1775
01:09:41,166 --> 01:09:43,500
- Oof.
- I don't think that qualifies

1776
01:09:43,666 --> 01:09:45,833
- for even half the combo.
- [both chuckle]

1777
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,500
Yeah... Well, I do appreciate
you staying late for me.

1778
01:09:49,666 --> 01:09:52,291
Well, we like to make our
customers happy.

1779
01:09:53,375 --> 01:09:54,958
Some of them anyways.

1780
01:09:56,125 --> 01:09:57,583
- [inhales]
- [June] Hey,

1781
01:09:58,125 --> 01:10:00,291
where's your weird,
old son at anyway?

1782
01:10:00,625 --> 01:10:02,750
[Tim] It's a slow night tonight.
We gotta cut somebody.

1783
01:10:02,916 --> 01:10:04,166
Oh, can it be us?

1784
01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:05,916
Nah, we got
a whole plumbing issue.

1785
01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:08,166
We need Oscar's little arms to
kinda clear the pipes.

1786
01:10:08,333 --> 01:10:09,583
Steef, you're off the clock.

1787
01:10:09,750 --> 01:10:11,583
Yes, sir.
I'm gonna go check on Markie.

1788
01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:12,791
[Markie] My son?

1789
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,583
- Yeah.
- Oh, you mean Steef?

1790
01:10:14,916 --> 01:10:16,583
- [chuckles]
- Oh, that's my best friend.

1791
01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:18,125
- Yeah, no, no. He's, uh...
- Oh...

1792
01:10:18,291 --> 01:10:21,083
No, I've known
that guy for years.

1793
01:10:22,208 --> 01:10:23,333
How did the two of y'all meet?

1794
01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:24,916
[music continues]

1795
01:10:29,291 --> 01:10:31,416
Oh, um, actually,

1796
01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:35,416
I kind of rescued him
when he got hit by a car.

1797
01:10:36,125 --> 01:10:37,541
So you're a hero then.

1798
01:10:39,250 --> 01:10:40,375
Not exactly.

1799
01:10:40,916 --> 01:10:42,416
[June]
Sounds to me like you are.

1800
01:10:43,375 --> 01:10:45,125
Whatever happened
to the guy that hit him?

1801
01:10:45,916 --> 01:10:48,875
That's the part that's
hard to explain because...

1802
01:10:51,250 --> 01:10:52,458
...that guy was me.

1803
01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:55,083
[music turns melancholic]

1804
01:10:57,500 --> 01:10:58,541
[kids playing in background]

1805
01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:01,583
- [young Steef] Screw y'all!
- [honking]

1806
01:11:01,750 --> 01:11:02,791
- [thud]
- [tires screech]

1807
01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:05,958
Oh, shit. Pull over.

1808
01:11:06,916 --> 01:11:09,041
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.

1809
01:11:09,250 --> 01:11:10,708
[kids playing in background]

1810
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,458
Hey, are you okay?

1811
01:11:13,625 --> 01:11:14,666
What happened?

1812
01:11:15,666 --> 01:11:17,666
- Poison.
- I was poisoned?

1813
01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:19,333
No, Poison. The t-shirt.

1814
01:11:20,250 --> 01:11:22,500
Those guys are great.
I saw them three times.

1815
01:11:22,666 --> 01:11:23,875
Also, you got hit by a car.

1816
01:11:24,208 --> 01:11:25,250
[barks]

1817
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:30,541
[groans]

1818
01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:38,208
- [music continues]
- Well...

1819
01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:40,458
...think of it this way.

1820
01:11:42,333 --> 01:11:43,916
Somebody was gonna hit him.

1821
01:11:48,458 --> 01:11:49,583
He's lucky it was you.

1822
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,041
That's nice.

1823
01:12:00,166 --> 01:12:01,208
Thanks.

1824
01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:03,458
[music turns gentle]

1825
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,208
[cars passing by]

1826
01:12:15,833 --> 01:12:17,875
[in deepened voice]
Where's my cock money?

1827
01:12:20,875 --> 01:12:24,833
[in deepened voice]
So crow equals Steef's dad.

1828
01:12:25,625 --> 01:12:26,666
Good evening.

1829
01:12:28,666 --> 01:12:30,666
[deepened voice] Whatever
happened to the guy that hit him?

1830
01:12:31,125 --> 01:12:32,750
[in deepened voice]
That guy was me.

1831
01:12:33,041 --> 01:12:34,750
Somebody was gonna hit him.

1832
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:39,541
[in deepened voice]
Suck it, faggot.

1833
01:12:43,166 --> 01:12:44,375
You like me, huh, buddy?

1834
01:12:44,750 --> 01:12:45,791
[oposum sniffling]

1835
01:12:46,208 --> 01:12:47,791
- [opossum squeaks]
- I was a busboy.

1836
01:12:48,125 --> 01:12:49,166
Still am, I guess.

1837
01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:52,541
[opossum chittering]

1838
01:12:57,083 --> 01:12:58,125
[music fades]

1839
01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:00,416
That's all...

1840
01:13:01,541 --> 01:13:02,833
Fuck that...

1841
01:13:08,625 --> 01:13:10,250
Murderball,
you dropped your vape.

1842
01:13:11,333 --> 01:13:14,958
[speaking Spanish]

1843
01:13:15,166 --> 01:13:16,541
[Steef] Mr. Ball?

1844
01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:18,291
[Murderball speaking Spanish]

1845
01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:21,166
- [Steef] Mr Mur-- Murder?
- [Murderball speaking Spanish]

1846
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:25,250
[dramatic music]

1847
01:13:27,125 --> 01:13:28,166
It's a miracle.

1848
01:13:28,375 --> 01:13:29,791
And I witnessed it.

1849
01:13:32,375 --> 01:13:33,416
Murderball!

1850
01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:40,500
- Wow. This is biblical.
- [music fades]

1851
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,375
That was
some good standing, brother.

1852
01:13:42,541 --> 01:13:43,833
Yeah, thanks, boy.

1853
01:13:44,208 --> 01:13:45,708
Oh, it took so much out of me.

1854
01:13:46,041 --> 01:13:47,416
Can you help me up on the chair?

1855
01:13:47,583 --> 01:13:48,625
Sure.

1856
01:13:49,291 --> 01:13:51,250
Oh. Oh, God.

1857
01:13:51,416 --> 01:13:52,916
[Steef] You're a miracle, man.

1858
01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:55,458
[Murderball groaning] Thanks.

1859
01:13:55,625 --> 01:13:57,166
Anything for you, man.

1860
01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:58,291
[panting]

1861
01:13:58,458 --> 01:13:59,500
You're a miracle.

1862
01:14:01,375 --> 01:14:02,541
Nobody's gonna believe this.

1863
01:14:03,541 --> 01:14:05,541
You're right. They won't.

1864
01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:07,416
Oh, I'm tired, man.
I need to rest.

1865
01:14:07,583 --> 01:14:08,666
Can I touch your legs?

1866
01:14:09,708 --> 01:14:11,458
I wanna touch your magic leg.

1867
01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:14,083
- That's enough.
- [Steef] Can I touch your legs, sir?

1868
01:14:15,416 --> 01:14:18,583
- Oh, I like them. So...
Look at them legs. - Okay. Yeah.

1869
01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:19,958
[smooches] I like them, boy.

1870
01:14:20,416 --> 01:14:21,958
You like that? Hmm...

1871
01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:24,833
Look at these little wizard
stems, huh?

1872
01:14:25,458 --> 01:14:27,833
Ooh.
He's not home right now.

1873
01:14:28,583 --> 01:14:30,458
You want me
to be your little white woman?

1874
01:14:30,833 --> 01:14:35,000
<i>♪ Amazing legs ♪</i>

1875
01:14:35,166 --> 01:14:36,666
Okay, okay, okay. That's enough.

1876
01:14:36,833 --> 01:14:38,833
<i>♪ I like these big dogs ♪</i>
[vocalizing]

1877
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,333
[grunts] Oh, shit.

1878
01:14:40,500 --> 01:14:42,500
- [slaps] Fucking miracle.
- [groaning]

1879
01:14:42,666 --> 01:14:43,875
- [smooches]
- Fuck, dude.

1880
01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:46,041
- Your legs is making me gay.
- [groans]

1881
01:14:46,208 --> 01:14:47,625
All right. Call me
if you need me,

1882
01:14:47,791 --> 01:14:49,458
- okay? Congratulations.
- Okay. [indistinct]

1883
01:14:49,625 --> 01:14:51,666
- [Steef] Oh, yeah.
- [groaning] All right.

1884
01:14:51,833 --> 01:14:53,708
- God is good. [groans]
- [Steef] Yeah...

1885
01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:55,208
[door closes]

1886
01:14:55,708 --> 01:14:56,750
[music continues]

1887
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:00,958
[dialing]

1888
01:15:01,125 --> 01:15:02,125
[line ringing]

1889
01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:04,333
We might have a problem, boys.

1890
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:05,625
I'm all in.

1891
01:15:05,791 --> 01:15:06,541
- I'm gonna just...
- [Steef panting]

1892
01:15:06,708 --> 01:15:07,750
Hey, guys.

1893
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,041
You're never gonna believe it.

1894
01:15:09,416 --> 01:15:10,416
You're a Capricorn.

1895
01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:12,625
No. Murderball walked.

1896
01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:13,833
- [Oscar] What?
- [all gasping]

1897
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:15,333
We gotta jump that communist.

1898
01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:17,208
No. He-- he didn't quit.

1899
01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:20,083
He walked. He walked.
Like, on his legs.

1900
01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:21,250
Like a Homo sapien.

1901
01:15:21,416 --> 01:15:22,750
You're full of shit.

1902
01:15:22,958 --> 01:15:24,375
The doctor said
he would never walk again.

1903
01:15:24,541 --> 01:15:27,125
Eat ass, Oscar.
I seen him walk.

1904
01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:29,500
I'll prove it.
I'll get a selfie with him.

1905
01:15:30,916 --> 01:15:32,416
And another thing.

1906
01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:36,083
I found out who hit me with
their car when I was just a kid.

1907
01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:37,291
[dramatic music]

1908
01:15:38,250 --> 01:15:39,791
My former best friend...

1909
01:15:42,041 --> 01:15:43,083
...Markie.

1910
01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:48,541
Not surprising.

1911
01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:51,875
Hey, Murderball.

1912
01:15:53,416 --> 01:15:55,250
I just wanna get
a selfie with you, buddy.

1913
01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,875
Just prove to everybody
that you're evolving.

1914
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:04,208
I just want to get a selfie

1915
01:16:04,375 --> 01:16:05,458
while your legs
are still working.

1916
01:16:07,875 --> 01:16:08,916
Murderball?

1917
01:16:12,583 --> 01:16:14,166
This is shittier than I thought.

1918
01:16:15,833 --> 01:16:16,875
What?

1919
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:22,041
[music continues]

1920
01:16:22,208 --> 01:16:23,250
[static]

1921
01:16:23,500 --> 01:16:25,000
[indistinct noises]

1922
01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:34,916
Any luck?

1923
01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:40,041
- [man] <i>Yes.</i>
- I'm getting something.

1924
01:16:40,208 --> 01:16:42,500
<i>I would like a number eight,</i>
<i>two nachos,</i>

1925
01:16:42,666 --> 01:16:44,458
<i>- and a vanilla cone.</i>
- [woman] <i>The ice cream machine</i>

1926
01:16:44,625 --> 01:16:46,125
<i>- is down.</i>
- [man] <i>I didn't order</i>

1927
01:16:46,291 --> 01:16:48,000
<i>no ice cream, motherfucker.</i>

1928
01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:49,416
[woman] <i>Bitch, what you want?</i>

1929
01:16:49,708 --> 01:16:51,125
[Steef] <i>Where are you,</i>
<i>Murderball?</i>

1930
01:16:52,625 --> 01:16:54,708
[Steef] Yeah... Hey, Murderball.

1931
01:16:56,416 --> 01:16:59,291
I want to see you while your
legs are still magic, brother.

1932
01:16:59,958 --> 01:17:00,958
Yeah...

1933
01:17:01,458 --> 01:17:02,500
Murderball.

1934
01:17:02,833 --> 01:17:04,666
- [gun clicks]
- [man] Freeze.

1935
01:17:05,375 --> 01:17:07,166
Just here to get
a selfie with Murderball.

1936
01:17:07,333 --> 01:17:08,458
[man]
You're not here to do shit.

1937
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:10,500
Start walking.

1938
01:17:10,833 --> 01:17:11,875
What? I just--

1939
01:17:12,083 --> 01:17:13,125
[music continues]

1940
01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:21,125
Wow. This is crazy.

1941
01:17:22,625 --> 01:17:23,833
Is this part of the trailer?

1942
01:17:25,458 --> 01:17:26,708
It reminds me of Pittsburgh.

1943
01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:30,291
Is this a three-bedroom?

1944
01:17:35,791 --> 01:17:36,833
Hey, there's my friend.

1945
01:17:37,958 --> 01:17:39,000
Murderball.

1946
01:17:42,750 --> 01:17:44,250
Great place you got here.

1947
01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:47,625
Yeah...

1948
01:17:48,958 --> 01:17:50,250
I'll fucking kill you.

1949
01:17:50,416 --> 01:17:51,583
What? Me?

1950
01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:52,791
[Murderball]
Things have changed.

1951
01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:55,083
Get him out of here!

1952
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,041
Damn it.

1953
01:18:03,250 --> 01:18:04,458
That guy tried to kiss me.

1954
01:18:05,333 --> 01:18:06,375
[music fades lightly]

1955
01:18:11,916 --> 01:18:13,875
Hey, has anybody seen Steef?

1956
01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,583
I've been looking all over
the restaurant for him.

1957
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,416
I don't think
he wants to see you

1958
01:18:17,583 --> 01:18:19,375
since he found out
you hit him with your car.

1959
01:18:20,750 --> 01:18:22,125
[suspenseful music]

1960
01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:24,791
No, no, no.

1961
01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:28,500
- Shit...
- [objects clattering]

1962
01:18:33,416 --> 01:18:34,458
[scoffs]

1963
01:18:37,333 --> 01:18:38,333
[Boyd] Hey, dipshit.

1964
01:18:38,500 --> 01:18:39,541
[door opens]

1965
01:18:44,791 --> 01:18:45,791
[Markie] You guys.

1966
01:18:46,291 --> 01:18:47,291
[sighs]

1967
01:18:47,916 --> 01:18:48,958
Where's Steef?

1968
01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:51,833
[Markie] I don't know.
I'm looking for him, too.

1969
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,333
We overheard him say something
about Murderball on the radio.

1970
01:18:56,875 --> 01:18:57,916
Murderball?

1971
01:18:59,375 --> 01:19:00,708
Well, that guy lives right here.

1972
01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:04,666
Hey, guys.

1973
01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:07,041
Hey, we were supposed to be
at work two minutes ago.

1974
01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:08,250
What's going on?

1975
01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:09,791
[knocks lightly]
What are you doing?

1976
01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:11,000
A TikTok?

1977
01:19:13,083 --> 01:19:14,125
Hey, guys.

1978
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,416
Hey, guys, come on.

1979
01:19:22,333 --> 01:19:23,375
What?

1980
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:26,625
Did Murderball
fall down this hole?

1981
01:19:26,958 --> 01:19:28,000
[music fades]

1982
01:19:28,875 --> 01:19:29,916
Hello?

1983
01:19:31,458 --> 01:19:32,500
Hello?

1984
01:19:35,291 --> 01:19:36,291
[deep banging]

1985
01:19:36,958 --> 01:19:38,708
I can't believe Markie's
the one who hit me.

1986
01:19:40,333 --> 01:19:42,083
Now Murderball's acting weird.

1987
01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:45,541
[electricity buzzing]

1988
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:47,916
I'm gonna lose
two friends in one day.

1989
01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:50,083
[Rick] Shut the fuck up, Steef.

1990
01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:52,041
- [deep, dramatic tone]
- [Steef] Rick.

1991
01:19:52,250 --> 01:19:53,250
Help me out of here.

1992
01:19:53,958 --> 01:19:55,500
I'm losing my tan.

1993
01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:56,833
What are you doing here?

1994
01:19:57,208 --> 01:19:58,833
Everybody thought
you were on The Bachelor.

1995
01:19:59,083 --> 01:20:00,083
What?

1996
01:20:00,708 --> 01:20:02,041
No, you dumb fuck.

1997
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:04,041
Hey, listen up, buddy.

1998
01:20:04,625 --> 01:20:06,375
I haven't eaten in half a week.

1999
01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:08,166
I need some protein.

2000
01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:09,791
Get me out of here, please.

2001
01:20:10,583 --> 01:20:12,041
- [clank]
- No flirting.

2002
01:20:12,291 --> 01:20:13,333
[dramatic music]

2003
01:20:14,916 --> 01:20:17,708
Oh, my God.
There's a strip club down here.

2004
01:20:17,875 --> 01:20:19,916
Oh, shoot.
I don't have any ones on me.

2005
01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:21,416
- Hi.
- Freeze!

2006
01:20:21,583 --> 01:20:22,958
- Oh...
- [thud]

2007
01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:24,625
Oh, God damn.

2008
01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:26,250
[exhales]

2009
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:29,083
Oh, Steef.

2010
01:20:29,666 --> 01:20:30,916
You're in this dungeon too?

2011
01:20:31,916 --> 01:20:33,208
I was looking for you, man.

2012
01:20:33,375 --> 01:20:34,625
I'm glad you didn't drive here.

2013
01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:36,875
Buddy, uh, let me explain
what happened.

2014
01:20:37,041 --> 01:20:38,208
[man 2] Get the fuck up.

2015
01:20:39,208 --> 01:20:40,250
- Get up.
- [man] You too, get up.

2016
01:20:40,750 --> 01:20:42,666
Fine...
Oh, Rick, you're here too?

2017
01:20:43,291 --> 01:20:44,833
Dude, I texted you
on your birthday.

2018
01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:46,166
You never texted me back.

2019
01:20:46,333 --> 01:20:48,083
Well, I was here,
you fucking loser.

2020
01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:49,500
It's still rude.

2021
01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:51,041
- Ow.
- [man] Come on, let's go.

2022
01:20:51,208 --> 01:20:52,916
- You too.
- [Markie] Ow. I'm going.

2023
01:20:54,291 --> 01:20:55,833
Hey, Rick, plug in your phone.

2024
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:57,916
[music continues]

2025
01:20:58,083 --> 01:20:59,166
Take it easy, Rick.

2026
01:21:00,333 --> 01:21:01,375
- [sizzling]
- [sighing]

2027
01:21:01,583 --> 01:21:03,458
Woah... <i>Órale.</i>

2028
01:21:04,416 --> 01:21:07,041
If it isn't Creepy and Sneaky.

2029
01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:10,375
- Dude, he can stand up.
- I was gonna tell you.

2030
01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:13,875
You know, I liked you,
<i>chicharrones...</i>

2031
01:21:14,958 --> 01:21:18,500
...until this one
called me <i>Pollo</i>polio.

2032
01:21:18,666 --> 01:21:20,041
[Markie] Are we still talking
about this?

2033
01:21:20,416 --> 01:21:21,750
That's just a play on words.

2034
01:21:21,916 --> 01:21:23,458
And then this one
tried to kiss me.

2035
01:21:24,166 --> 01:21:25,875
It's just a play on lips.

2036
01:21:26,166 --> 01:21:29,625
You know... I would like
to let you guys go.

2037
01:21:29,791 --> 01:21:30,833
We accept.

2038
01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:33,583
[Murderball] But... I can't.

2039
01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,791
You can't unsee
what you've already seen.

2040
01:21:35,958 --> 01:21:37,916
Yeah, the eyes
have good memories.

2041
01:21:38,375 --> 01:21:39,458
They're like...

2042
01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:42,833
the brains of the face.

2043
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:46,583
- [guns clicking]
- [speaking Spanish]

2044
01:21:47,125 --> 01:21:48,125
- What is that?
- What?

2045
01:21:48,541 --> 01:21:49,583
Bitches.

2046
01:21:49,750 --> 01:21:50,750
[Markie] No, the first part.

2047
01:21:50,916 --> 01:21:52,333
[stutters] Last words.

2048
01:21:52,500 --> 01:21:53,541
[Steef] Actually, yeah.

2049
01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:57,083
I knew if this time
ever came, I wanted to...

2050
01:21:59,625 --> 01:22:02,666
...put on this bandana
that my dad gave me...

2051
01:22:03,333 --> 01:22:04,750
...when I was just a kid.

2052
01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:06,125
[slow music]

2053
01:22:06,708 --> 01:22:08,708
Before he went away to prison...

2054
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:11,291
...he used to take me
to this vape shop.

2055
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:14,458
It was really cool.
Carcinogens, it was called, and

2056
01:22:14,708 --> 01:22:15,916
it was two stories.

2057
01:22:17,333 --> 01:22:19,291
And he let me smoke
all the youth vapes.

2058
01:22:21,791 --> 01:22:25,291
And I was even part of the
Carcinogens Kids Club for a bit.

2059
01:22:26,166 --> 01:22:27,291
[sighs]

2060
01:22:27,750 --> 01:22:30,000
And he gave me this bandana
before he left.

2061
01:22:32,833 --> 01:22:34,000
So I'm gonna wear it.

2062
01:22:36,041 --> 01:22:37,333
So when I go to heaven...

2063
01:22:39,791 --> 01:22:41,000
...he'll be able to find me.

2064
01:22:45,416 --> 01:22:46,458
[music fades]

2065
01:22:46,916 --> 01:22:47,958
[light chuckle]

2066
01:22:49,041 --> 01:22:50,083
[speaks Spanish]

2067
01:22:50,750 --> 01:22:52,208
- Mine's for Steef.
- [slow music]

2068
01:22:53,083 --> 01:22:56,000
I just want to tell you...
[sighs]

2069
01:22:56,750 --> 01:22:58,708
...when I took that
dog out that day...

2070
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,708
...it was his last lap and

2071
01:23:02,875 --> 01:23:04,333
I-- I was supposed
to do whatever he wanted

2072
01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:06,458
and he wanted to
try to drive the car.

2073
01:23:07,458 --> 01:23:08,666
And I knew it was stupid.

2074
01:23:08,833 --> 01:23:10,208
I knew he was gonna
be bad at it.

2075
01:23:10,375 --> 01:23:12,250
And he was so bad and he
couldn't drive at all.

2076
01:23:12,416 --> 01:23:13,625
And he hit you.

2077
01:23:13,833 --> 01:23:15,458
I didn't know what to do.
I got scared.

2078
01:23:16,541 --> 01:23:18,375
I'm so sorry that happened.

2079
01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:20,583
But you're my best friend
in the world...

2080
01:23:21,916 --> 01:23:24,833
...and I can't die knowing
that you're mad at me.

2081
01:23:29,916 --> 01:23:30,958
I forgive you, man.

2082
01:23:33,625 --> 01:23:35,958
[Murderball] Bro, don't make
this shit so gay, fellas.

2083
01:23:36,125 --> 01:23:37,125
Shoot us.

2084
01:23:37,750 --> 01:23:38,791
Time to die...

2085
01:23:39,791 --> 01:23:40,833
<i>Pollo...</i>

2086
01:23:41,375 --> 01:23:42,416
...polio.

2087
01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:43,916
[guns clicking]

2088
01:23:44,541 --> 01:23:45,541
[gunshot]

2089
01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:47,291
- [groaning]
- [intense music]

2090
01:23:49,250 --> 01:23:50,958
- [Markie exhales]
- [Murderball groaning]

2091
01:23:51,916 --> 01:23:53,750
This feels just like
when we were alive.

2092
01:23:53,958 --> 01:23:55,083
[groaning]

2093
01:24:00,083 --> 01:24:01,750
[Markie] Oh, my God,
it's Padre Noche.

2094
01:24:04,583 --> 01:24:07,208
- Every Sunday...
- [Murderball groaning]

2095
01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:09,791
...I took you to that store...

2096
01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,916
...and you tried
all the new flavors,

2097
01:24:13,541 --> 01:24:15,916
and then you vomited
all the way home.

2098
01:24:16,083 --> 01:24:17,166
[suspenseful music]

2099
01:24:17,833 --> 01:24:21,083
I didn't care
and you didn't care either.

2100
01:24:23,041 --> 01:24:25,166
I gave you that
on your fifth birthday.

2101
01:24:26,166 --> 01:24:27,708
Holy shit.

2102
01:24:29,458 --> 01:24:30,500
Dad?

2103
01:24:30,750 --> 01:24:31,791
[music turns hopeful]

2104
01:24:33,541 --> 01:24:35,500
Steef! [chuckles]

2105
01:24:35,708 --> 01:24:37,208
[Steef] Dad!

2106
01:24:37,791 --> 01:24:39,375
Oh... [chuckles]

2107
01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:42,958
I thought you were in jail.

2108
01:24:43,375 --> 01:24:44,416
[sighs]

2109
01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:45,791
No, I escaped, and

2110
01:24:45,958 --> 01:24:48,208
within a month
I was out and I...

2111
01:24:49,125 --> 01:24:50,875
[stutters]

2112
01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:52,958
I wanted to see you.
I wanted to look you up.

2113
01:24:53,125 --> 01:24:54,208
I wanted to know you.

2114
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,583
But I thought, man,
I'd be a bad influence on you.

2115
01:24:58,000 --> 01:25:01,833
I went and visited you
every week for nine years.

2116
01:25:02,250 --> 01:25:03,375
They said you were busy

2117
01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:06,291
and you'd escaped
after one month?

2118
01:25:06,875 --> 01:25:07,916
[Padre Noche] Embarrassing.

2119
01:25:08,583 --> 01:25:10,208
I always thought I could

2120
01:25:10,500 --> 01:25:13,083
get out of this life
and get into yours.

2121
01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:15,166
I can't believe it's you!

2122
01:25:15,333 --> 01:25:17,333
- [Steef] Dad! Oh...
- [chuckling]

2123
01:25:17,500 --> 01:25:19,541
[Padre Noche] I've thought about
you every day.

2124
01:25:20,375 --> 01:25:22,125
[breathing irregularly]

2125
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:24,666
- [gunshot]
- [groaning]

2126
01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:26,208
- What happened, Dad?
- [Padre Noche] Did I get shot?

2127
01:25:26,791 --> 01:25:28,125
Did I get shot?

2128
01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,000
- [Steef] Dad, sit down, Dad.
- Oh, shit...

2129
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,875
- [thud]
- [groaning]

2130
01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:34,791
- [Steef] Sit down. Sit down.
- Who the fuck shot me?

2131
01:25:35,041 --> 01:25:36,708
- [groaning]
- [dramatic music]

2132
01:25:37,208 --> 01:25:38,333
It's gonna be okay, Dad.

2133
01:25:39,333 --> 01:25:40,583
You know what I wish?

2134
01:25:41,208 --> 01:25:42,250
What, Dad?

2135
01:25:43,708 --> 01:25:45,833
I wish I could've
been there for you...

2136
01:25:50,375 --> 01:25:51,625
You're here for me now, Dad.

2137
01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:54,625
It's okay.

2138
01:25:58,083 --> 01:25:59,666
- He's right.
- [door slams open]

2139
01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:01,666
[Boyd] Freeze! FBI!

2140
01:26:01,833 --> 01:26:03,083
Hands up!
Get on the fucking ground!

2141
01:26:03,250 --> 01:26:04,458
You're all under arrest!

2142
01:26:04,625 --> 01:26:06,125
Oh, my God.

2143
01:26:06,291 --> 01:26:08,750
So, you boys were in
on this the whole time?

2144
01:26:08,916 --> 01:26:10,625
- We didn't know a thing.
- No...

2145
01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:12,958
- Get that ass open!
- Department of Homeland Security,

2146
01:26:13,125 --> 01:26:15,000
- on the ground!
- [upbeat music]

2147
01:26:15,166 --> 01:26:18,750
- [overlapping dialogues]
- Department of Transportation!

2148
01:26:18,916 --> 01:26:21,083
- We know!
- Hey, you guys are here, too?

2149
01:26:21,250 --> 01:26:22,333
We're in a group chat.

2150
01:26:22,541 --> 01:26:23,625
Is there an afters?

2151
01:26:23,833 --> 01:26:25,000
You know, I don't know.

2152
01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:26,875
- There's something.
- There's something.

2153
01:26:27,041 --> 01:26:29,333
- [guns clicking]
- [overlapping dialogues]

2154
01:26:29,541 --> 01:26:31,500
Hey, that is crazy
about your dad.

2155
01:26:31,708 --> 01:26:33,291
- I know. My dad's back.
- I love it.

2156
01:26:33,458 --> 01:26:35,000
That's so cool.
I'm happy for you, man.

2157
01:26:35,166 --> 01:26:37,291
Thanks, man. I--
I'm happy for me, too.

2158
01:26:37,458 --> 01:26:38,791
He remembered your thing
and everything.

2159
01:26:38,958 --> 01:26:40,708
- Yeah, he gave it to me.
- [Markie chuckles]

2160
01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:43,625
Oh, check out Murderball. Can
you believe the dude can walk?

2161
01:26:43,791 --> 01:26:46,000
Yeah, he can walk.
[stuttering] He's like a baby.

2162
01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:48,083
I couldn't believe it,
then they shot him.

2163
01:26:48,250 --> 01:26:49,833
- [groans] Yeah.
- I'm just kidding, man. Walked for a little bit.

2164
01:26:50,000 --> 01:26:51,333
- Dangerous time for babies.
- [Markie] Yeah.

2165
01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:53,708
Silence!

2166
01:26:56,166 --> 01:26:57,708
Anyone have eyes
on Padre Noche?

2167
01:26:58,166 --> 01:26:59,500
[Tally] He got away from me.

2168
01:26:59,791 --> 01:27:01,125
[agent] Well,
let's go after him.

2169
01:27:01,291 --> 01:27:02,375
It's 105 degrees outside.

2170
01:27:02,541 --> 01:27:04,166
- He's all yours.
- Oh, hell no.

2171
01:27:04,333 --> 01:27:07,583
- [overlapping dialogues]
- It's 105 degrees!

2172
01:27:07,750 --> 01:27:10,500
- [overlapping dialogues]
- I am hot!

2173
01:27:11,583 --> 01:27:12,875
Bosses!

2174
01:27:13,041 --> 01:27:15,875
- We got Murderball. Okay?
- [guns clicking]

2175
01:27:16,041 --> 01:27:18,208
And that's a big piece
of the puzzle.

2176
01:27:18,375 --> 01:27:19,500
Right there.

2177
01:27:19,875 --> 01:27:21,666
I've been shot!

2178
01:27:22,125 --> 01:27:23,791
[cries] I need an ambulance!

2179
01:27:23,958 --> 01:27:25,000
[agent 2] We need a paramedic.

2180
01:27:25,333 --> 01:27:26,458
[country music]

2181
01:27:26,625 --> 01:27:27,666
[sighs]

2182
01:27:32,083 --> 01:27:33,125
Later.

2183
01:27:35,458 --> 01:27:37,333
Attention, busboys and girls.

2184
01:27:37,666 --> 01:27:40,458
Today is a unique day in the
history of our establishment.

2185
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:43,208
The heroic efforts of some
members of our staff

2186
01:27:43,375 --> 01:27:45,791
to keep drug trafficking
out of our restaurant,

2187
01:27:46,166 --> 01:27:48,500
which will no doubt
impact some of our performance,

2188
01:27:48,666 --> 01:27:50,000
have been monumental.

2189
01:27:50,583 --> 01:27:53,500
And as a thank you,
I would like to present

2190
01:27:53,666 --> 01:27:56,291
two pure, pewter

2191
01:27:56,458 --> 01:27:59,125
- bus tubs to Steef Barn
- [gasping]

2192
01:27:59,291 --> 01:28:00,375
and Markie Montgomery.

2193
01:28:00,541 --> 01:28:02,166
[gasping and clapping]

2194
01:28:02,375 --> 01:28:03,833
[clapping and whooping]

2195
01:28:04,833 --> 01:28:06,833
- Oh, my gosh.
- [April chuckles]

2196
01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,625
- [cheering]
- Markie!

2197
01:28:09,791 --> 01:28:11,250
Dude. What?

2198
01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:12,458
Look at that.

2199
01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:16,750
Whoa, are these real pewter?

2200
01:28:16,916 --> 01:28:20,500
And, due to Rick's absence, and
to take advantage of some of the

2201
01:28:20,666 --> 01:28:22,833
media buzz
surrounding the drug bust,

2202
01:28:23,208 --> 01:28:25,833
I would like to announce
we are gonna bring

2203
01:28:26,083 --> 01:28:30,041
one of you leperous
scuzzwranglers up to the rank

2204
01:28:30,208 --> 01:28:31,250
of waiter.

2205
01:28:31,791 --> 01:28:33,375
- [Gregor] I hope it's me.
- [gasping]

2206
01:28:33,791 --> 01:28:36,541
Against my better judgment,
I would like to announce

2207
01:28:36,708 --> 01:28:39,541
the newest waiter
at the Border Bistro...

2208
01:28:41,541 --> 01:28:42,958
Markie, come up
and get this jacket.

2209
01:28:43,208 --> 01:28:45,541
- Me? Me?
- [clapping]

2210
01:28:45,833 --> 01:28:47,958
- Oh, my God.
- Yay, congrats.

2211
01:28:49,291 --> 01:28:50,666
- Speech!
- [Markie] What?

2212
01:28:50,833 --> 01:28:53,333
- Speech! Speech!
- [chuckling and clapping]

2213
01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:55,166
- [gentle music]
- [light chuckling]

2214
01:28:55,333 --> 01:28:58,166
Thank you, Manager Tim.
[whoops]

2215
01:28:59,416 --> 01:29:00,875
Thank you, America.

2216
01:29:01,458 --> 01:29:04,500
Well, seven months ago...

2217
01:29:05,125 --> 01:29:06,916
...I knew
that if I became a waiter,

2218
01:29:07,333 --> 01:29:09,333
I would get everything
I wanted in life.

2219
01:29:11,333 --> 01:29:13,541
The image, the girl,

2220
01:29:14,583 --> 01:29:16,791
the money, the future.

2221
01:29:17,791 --> 01:29:18,958
But I was actually wrong.

2222
01:29:20,416 --> 01:29:21,666
I already have all that stuff.

2223
01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:24,250
I got everything
I always wanted.

2224
01:29:25,875 --> 01:29:26,958
I got a friend.

2225
01:29:29,375 --> 01:29:32,375
So, thank you, but I'm gonna
pass on this promotion.

2226
01:29:33,750 --> 01:29:37,541
And I'm going to stay right here
next to my buddy.

2227
01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:40,041
Busboys for life.

2228
01:29:40,750 --> 01:29:41,833
Busboys for life.

2229
01:29:42,791 --> 01:29:45,125
But I have a question,
Manager Tim, uh...

2230
01:29:46,208 --> 01:29:48,916
Are these waiter promotions
at all transferable?

2231
01:29:49,125 --> 01:29:50,791
[Tim] Depends on
who you give it to.

2232
01:29:51,375 --> 01:29:53,125
I was thinking of giving it to
the hardest working person

2233
01:29:53,291 --> 01:29:54,958
in the building, ah...

2234
01:29:55,625 --> 01:29:58,583
Day in, day out, they break
their back to provide...

2235
01:29:59,625 --> 01:30:01,500
...a really
nice life for their family.

2236
01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:05,166
Ginger would be a great

2237
01:30:05,333 --> 01:30:06,625
- waitress.
- [mouthing] What?

2238
01:30:06,791 --> 01:30:08,000
- Yes, she would. Approved.
- [clapping]

2239
01:30:08,500 --> 01:30:10,166
- [gasping] What?
- [clapping]

2240
01:30:10,791 --> 01:30:11,833
Thank you.

2241
01:30:12,083 --> 01:30:13,708
Thank you so much.

2242
01:30:14,291 --> 01:30:15,791
- Ginger.
- [Ginger] Thank you.

2243
01:30:15,958 --> 01:30:17,750
- [Steef] Yes! Ginger.
- [Ginger] Thank you.

2244
01:30:19,541 --> 01:30:21,041
- Ginger!
- Now that she's a waitress,

2245
01:30:21,208 --> 01:30:23,208
I have to go back to school,
you piece of shit.

2246
01:30:23,875 --> 01:30:25,666
- Markie.
- Oh, you're welcome.

2247
01:30:26,083 --> 01:30:28,583
So, wait, you're a busboy again?

2248
01:30:29,333 --> 01:30:30,458
You're damn right I am.

2249
01:30:31,125 --> 01:30:34,833
Um, fresh fish!

2250
01:30:35,125 --> 01:30:38,375
- No, no, no. No, no.
- [Steef grunts] Teach that quitter a lesson!

2251
01:30:38,541 --> 01:30:40,250
[Western-style music]

2252
01:30:40,541 --> 01:30:42,833
- [thudding]
- [grunting]

2253
01:30:51,208 --> 01:30:52,250
[music fades]

2254
01:30:58,583 --> 01:30:59,708
Well, I guess this is it.

2255
01:31:04,416 --> 01:31:05,458
Come here, man.

2256
01:31:07,250 --> 01:31:08,291
[light chuckle]

2257
01:31:10,625 --> 01:31:11,875
- Wait.
- Are you going this way?

2258
01:31:12,041 --> 01:31:14,041
- Are you going this way, too?
- Yeah.

2259
01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:15,750
- Why'd you say this is it?
- [Markie] I don't know.

2260
01:31:15,916 --> 01:31:17,500
I just thought-- I thought we
might be walking...

2261
01:31:17,666 --> 01:31:18,666
Eh, that's fine.

2262
01:31:18,833 --> 01:31:20,083
Oh, I was gonna tell you, dude.

2263
01:31:20,250 --> 01:31:22,458
- Your dad is yoked, dude.
- [Steef] Yeah.

2264
01:31:22,625 --> 01:31:23,916
It means I'm gonna
be jacked as well

2265
01:31:24,083 --> 01:31:25,625
- when I grow up.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

2266
01:31:25,791 --> 01:31:27,416
- It's in the bloodstream.
- I know, man.

2267
01:31:27,583 --> 01:31:28,708
Pump, pump.

2268
01:31:28,875 --> 01:31:30,750
- [Markie chuckles]
- [both grunting]

2269
01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:32,625
Yeah, I'm excited about that.

2270
01:31:32,791 --> 01:31:34,250
And now that I got my dad back,

2271
01:31:34,416 --> 01:31:36,250
I think I'm gonna back off
that surgery for my mom.

2272
01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:37,875
Oh.

2273
01:31:38,375 --> 01:31:39,583
I think that's good.

2274
01:31:39,791 --> 01:31:41,083
You should do something for you.

2275
01:31:41,291 --> 01:31:42,666
I think I'm gonna go back
to high school.

2276
01:31:42,875 --> 01:31:44,500
- Really?
- [Steef] Yeah. I used to hate it,

2277
01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:46,416
but once we did it undercover,

2278
01:31:46,666 --> 01:31:47,750
I kind of dug it.

2279
01:31:47,916 --> 01:31:48,958
It gets easier.

2280
01:31:49,291 --> 01:31:50,750
And plus, I never finished, so

2281
01:31:50,916 --> 01:31:52,250
I only have about 38 hours left.

2282
01:31:52,500 --> 01:31:54,000
Well, I think that's cool.

2283
01:31:54,291 --> 01:31:57,166
And if you ever need a tutor,
I'd-- I'd want to help.

2284
01:31:57,541 --> 01:31:58,583
[upbeat music]

2285
01:32:00,541 --> 01:32:01,583
Let's go in.

2286
01:32:02,041 --> 01:32:03,666
[Steef] Let's make some toast!

2287
01:32:14,500 --> 01:32:15,541
[honking]

2288
01:32:32,375 --> 01:32:34,083
- [music fades]
- [bubbling]

2289
01:32:35,250 --> 01:32:36,458
What's taking so long?

2290
01:32:36,625 --> 01:32:38,083
You've been in there for,
like, two hours.

2291
01:32:38,250 --> 01:32:39,583
Yeah, I can't do this.

2292
01:32:40,125 --> 01:32:41,750
I don't even know
what I'm looking for down here.

2293
01:32:42,125 --> 01:32:43,166
Jesus.

2294
01:32:45,791 --> 01:32:46,833
Look...

2295
01:32:47,541 --> 01:32:49,000
...I'm just a waiter, okay?

2296
01:32:49,916 --> 01:32:51,750
I don't even know
how to really do anything else.

2297
01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:53,375
[exhales]

2298
01:32:53,875 --> 01:32:54,916
- [sizzling]
- [screaming]

2299
01:32:55,958 --> 01:32:57,000
[groaning]

2300
01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,375
Fucking hot plate.

2301
01:32:59,666 --> 01:33:00,708
[hip-hop music]

2302
01:33:57,083 --> 01:33:59,250
[music fades]

2303
01:34:00,833 --> 01:34:02,708
[chill music]

2304
01:36:50,083 --> 01:36:51,666
[music ends]



