Downloaded from YTS.BZ
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
BAD NEIGHBOURS
Hi, Sis!
Hi.
- What do you look like? - I came straight from the event.
Things are a bit chaotic. Could I stay with you for a week till they settle down?
Of course. But I don't quite get it. What have you done?
I've... ruined a marriage, apparently.
Wasn't that Harry Flodman?
He's burying his mother today.
- Was that the coffin? - I think so.
- Was it home-made? - Looked like it.
Okay. So nothing's changed out here.
To think it'll be the first thing Stefan Carlsson sees when he moves here.
Who's that?
- Surely you've heard of Stefan Carlsson? - No.
- The old prime minister. - Oh, him.
- Is he moving here? - Yes. He is, actually.
"You're such a shit" - vomit emoji. "Hope you get cancer"...
- Oh my God! - Vomit emoji.
"How the hell can you do this to Minou?" Vomit emoji.
You can just write something back.
Are you mad? It'll just trigger them even more.
- Look, the removal men are here. - Yep.
That's Stefan Carlsson. Look!
He's going to put this village on the map.
It'll be so good for the area.
So good.
Right. I'm apparently a pathological liar and an alcoholic now.
Can't you put that away?
- I was thinking a barbecue tonight. - Sounds okay to me.
- Hanna! - Hi!
- Have you moved back? - I'm just visiting my sister.
Wow. You're expecting! That's amazing.
- Looking good! - Thanks!
- So who's the dad? - Let's leave that for another time, eh?
- Hanna? Can we take a selfie? - Sure.
Is it true or is Minou lying?
Don't believe everything you read, girls.
Thanks!
Bye!
- Where were we? - I'm a 100 per cent on your side.
- Thanks. - But...
...did you sleep with Minou's guy, then?
Let's talk about that another time, Madde. I need to help Sis. Nice to see you!
Another time, then!
I just met Madde. I don't know if I can deal with her right now.
Can I go before you? My mother's funeral is about to start.
My God, of course.
- These cost 90 kronor. - Right.
This is just 70.
Let's see...
I'm a bit stressed...
My mum died.
- My mind's gone blank... - What a surprise.
Just take what you need.
Right. Goodbye.
Hello.
This was stuck in my tyre! Now I've got a puncture.
- Got a jack? - You can forget that.
It's sick that you drive your mum around like that.
- Emma, you've got a jack, haven't you? - It's none of our business.
- But why did they puncture his tyre? - Flodman has a bad reputation.
He riles people.
I hope he gets help. Maybe he will, now that his mother's dead.
Here they are - the cuties.
Minou? Never heard of her.
She's got a million followers and they all hate me and spread rumours about me.
They'll give up soon and start picking on someone else.
They won't. The fairytale couple are splitting up and it's apparently my fault.
Then maybe you should stop sleeping with married men.
Emma, I'm really starting to panic now.
All my collaborations are buggered and I'm penniless.
- I'll end up a tramp or something... - Ask Madde for a job at the Coop.
Me? At the Coop?
- Yes. And...? - No!
Emma?
The newspaper will be interviewing Stefan Carlsson at the big house soon.
Can you keep an eye on Harry Flodman?
Of course, no problem. Leave it with us.
- We don't want a village idiot stigma. - No, we don't want that.
Perfect.
- Bye! - Bye.
That was the mayor.
- You had a big smile on your face. - Stop it. He's married.
Right.
I'm temping and I'd really like it to be permanent.
So I have to butter the boss up at times.
That's how it is for us in the real world.
Now come with me and put that phone down.
I don't think you can really call this a country house.
It's just a house in the country. Go ahead and write that.
Agneta and I intend to live a modest life here.
Is the champagne to go into the wine cellar?
"Cellar". We call it a cellar.
Just because we happen to put wine in it doesn't make it a wine cellar.
Easy does it, that's expensive.
You might think that's a genuine crystal chandelier but it's nothing special.
Is that so?
It's mainly glass and plastic.
We bought it cheap from a local charity shop.
- Hi! - Go ahead and write that.
Emma Fransson, municipal head of communication.
I'd just like to introduce myself and say welcome and that...
...you can direct reporters to me if they get too pushy.
Thank you. Well... anything else?
- You first impressions so far? - My first impressions? This is...
...what social democratic community is all about.
What do people do in the big cities? Get drunk, fight and shoot each other.
And slag people off behind their backs.
Here in the country, we drink coffee - with cake -
and speak well of each other.
- Write that. - Okay.
Less boozing, more coffee.
- Any other plans going forward? - No plans. No plans at all.
We just want to live an easy, peaceful life. Peaceful above all.
What's all this then?
He's the son of the woman who lived there.
It was her funeral today.
So he's here to clear the estate, the poor chap.
We'll leave him to it.
It's a tough time...
...when a mother dies.
I remember when my own mother passed.
I had a peculiar reaction. I ate copious amounts of butter.
A dismal time it was.
Sad. Maybe we should go and pass on our condolences?
I don't think that will be necessary...
Agneta?
Agneta!
We must go and greet the man who's clearing the estate. Bring the cake.
Harry Flodman isn't like other people. Just so you know.
I don't judge. All people are equal in my eyes.
Absolutely!
- Don't write anything about Flodman. - I'll write what I want.
What a pigsty! He'll have to remove all this.
Who's there?
We're just here to say hello.
Who are you?
I'm the new owner of the house. My name's Stefan.
And Agneta. I own this country house along with Stefan.
It's not a country house. It's just a house.
I'm a bit busy in here. I've got the runs, see. Wait, I'll just...
- Shit, no paper. Hang on, I'll just... - Hi.
We heard about your mother so we just wanted to pass on our condolences.
Me too. She died.
Yes. I'm Stefan. That's my wife, Agneta.
I'm Harry Flodman. I don't have a wife.
Sponge cake?
I have no idea. You'll have to lift the lid and check.
Oh, I see! Come inside, all of you...
Do you really want to have a coffee?
The last owner didn't even speak to me. He was an odd sort...
I couldn't afford a coffin for Mum, so I built one myself...
...out of pallets from the factory. You have to make do.
To change the subject, when do you think you'll have emptied the house?
Why would I want to empty the house?
Well...
What, were you intending to stay in it?
Oh yes, I love it here.
But the cottage belongs to our country house.
House. It's a house.
Flodman. What's it like to have an ex-prime minister for a neighbour?
Prime... An ex what?
You recognise Stefan Carlsson, don't you?
I've seen you on the TV, right?
That's right, I recognise you!
Listen, when am I going to get a shower and toilet?
The house will be pulled down.
I see.
But the house is...
It'd be a pity to pull down such a fine house. Where will you live?
I think it's time to be going.
Come along, Agneta.
- Aren't we going to have cake? - Thanks anyway.
Did I do wrong?
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Goodbye.
The agent said the estate was uninhabited.
Well it apparently isn't.
It says here he has a 40-year leasehold on it.
How could you miss that?
- Didn't you read the contract? - Me? You were meant to deal with it.
I trusted you and just signed it.
That cake was yummy!
Hold up! Where are you off to?
To have a shower.
Shower? You can't just come barging in.
I don't have my own shower. So I always have one here. I'll be really quick.
- What is this? - Bloody hell...
He's entitled to three showers a week until we build him a shower and a toilet.
So we're to have this person running around here at home? What is this?
He has a right of occupation, Agneta. There's nothing we can do about it.
Why is he so happy? What's he got to be happy about?
He has to go. We have to evict him.
Let's calm down. It'll just get in the papers. There'll be headlines.
"Stefan Carlsson evicts intellectually challenged..." No.
It's so nice to use a proper toilet. This is sheer luxury...
Hang on a sec. How did you get in?
This is our home. You can't just come stomping in willy nilly.
No...
Call that communications officer.
Ask her to talk to the newspaper and stop them writing about this.
We're building no shower and toilet! We'd never get rid of that person.
Or whatever he is.
- Had a lie-in? - What else is there to do here?
There's lots to do. You can help do the shopping, rake leaves...
...clear out the wardrobe...
My God, do they never give up?
I've been in a mental institution, too, apparently. All these lies!
I know.
- And no one's backing me up. - Then you'll just have to...
CARLSSON: "THIS IS COMMUNITY"
...get some real friends.
There's nothing about Flodman here.
No. That could be because I had a little chat with the chief editor.
Did you? How come?
It's like my job. To protect the area's media image.
It's very important that Stefan Carlsson is happy here.
Why is that so important?
Come on, quite the dumb act.
Stefan Carlsson! He's chosen our little village of all places.
- That's massive. - I thought he was rude to Harry Flodman.
- I felt sorry for him. - It's him. Shut up.
Stefan! What can I do for you today?
Hi, Stefan! How are you doing?
Hello, Stefan. How are you doing?
Hi, Stefan. How are you doing?
Just fine, thanks.
Tired. There's a lot to keep track of, a lot of land to tend to.
I'm sure there is.
Here...
...what does the council plan to do with that Flodman?
Do you have anything particular in mind?
It's quite obvious the chap has intellectual issues.
The lift doesn't go all the way to the top. I feel sorry for him. But...
...maybe that's something the council can help with?
It's not really up to me, but sure - of course we can help.
We weren't intending to run a care home here.
I can imagine that wasn't exactly your plan!
There's a lot of talk in the village about what he gets up to.
Maybe he needs a - what's it called - home care assistant?
Right.
- I'll check it out. I'll pass it on. - Sounds good.
We'd like to have a good relationship with the council.
Maybe we can return the favour one day if it's needed.
It is. We'd be very grateful for...
Very good.
Hello, Hanna.
Hi! What are you up to?
Listen - can't you come for dinner some day?
Sure, I can do that!
Maybe I could get a bit of celebrity gossip from Stockholm!
Argh! He's such a pain, that idiot.
There you go. It's working again.
- I'll... see you later, Madde. - Sure thing!
I replaced the compressor and cleaned the cooling coil.
Will a fillet of pork do?
- Oh! So you think I did a good job, then! - I do indeed.
Look, it's near its sell-by date, so best eat it today.
Can I ask you something?
How long did it take you to repair this display fridge?
- About three hours. Why? - And what does the fillet cost?
Er... it's close to its sell-by date. Half price.
Which makes it about 20 kronor an hour for that job.
What do you think about that?
What do I think about it?
Let's go in to my office. Of course you deserve more.
That was just a little bonus.
It's someone to sort things out. Help pay the bills, wash up, clean...
I doubt he's ever learned to do all that.
- Who wants to be a paid surrogate mum? - You?
- Me? - Yes. You said you were broke.
- Or is that beneath you now? - No...
But I figure I'll soon get back my collaborations, so I don't know if I...
Hanna. I've looked at your Instagram.
You're screwed.
Thanks for the pep talk.
I'm thinking of going back to it.
Being an influencer isn't a career.
It's a diagnosis. It's time to grow up.
You'd be a perfect care assistant. I'll pay you an advance of 1,000 kronor.
- It's not that I'm above a normal job... - Well, then. You felt sorry for him.
I came here to escape my problems, not create new ones.
Agneta?
Agneta, there are...
...crayfish pots in the store room and a rowing boat by the lake.
I checked out the title deeds, too.
We have fishing rights, so we could fish for crayfish one day.
I thought you were in the shower.
Wait, stop.
How did you get in without a key?
I have the key to the cellar, too.
There. It's ours.
- I have a contract for showering. - It's no longer valid.
We checked with a lawyer.
I see. Strange. Mum never said anything about that.
No. But there you go. No more showers.
No...
- Isn't the contract valid? - But the likes of him don't know that.
- Howdy! - Hi.
Are you also out on a job?
- No, it's my sister's garden. - Right.
How did it go at the Coop? Did you get paid?
Yes! I was given this.
A guy in the warehouse had driven over them but no matter, they taste the same.
- Want one? - I'm good, thanks.
What are you getting for painting the furniture?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
No, nothing. It's punishment for running over their cat.
- But that wasn't me. - No? So why are you being punished?
Because everyone thinks it was me. Doesn't matter what I say.
- I'm sure they don't mean anything by it. - Oh, they do.
I have to go home now. I need to get my tools.
I'll carry on later. I have to go into the village to unblock a drain.
Coming...
You know - I think I can help you.
With what?
A home assistant is exactly what it sounds like.
I can show you how to wash and clean and stuff.
What do you say?
Do you find it that messy here?
What do you think about washing up all that?
Wow, that's good of you! Then I can go and fix the drain...
No, you'll do the washing up.
- Me? - No one wants to be friends with a slob.
Because you have friends, right?
No. Not that I'm aware of.
I prefer my own company.
Because you know what you're getting.
You don't get let down.
- You can't survive without friends. - It's all right.
You get used to it.
Anyway, I'm doing fine.
But surely you've had at least one friend?
A girlfriend, maybe?
Mum gave me a book about that once.
She kept going on about wanting grandchildren.
Er... okay. Did it work?
- What? - The book.
No. I tried Tinder last year.
How did that go?
I don't know. I've not heard anything yet.
- That's not a real hand grenade, is it? - Yes.
Mum got this from Dad. Look, if you pull out this pin...
...you have three seconds before it blows...
You can't keep a hand grenade in your kitchen drawer!
Why are you so cross all the time?
I'm not cross, I'm...
Flodman speaking...
I'm on my way. No, no, it'll cost you hardly anything.
Before you head off to fix the drain you and I need to practise something.
Hi, there!
Come on. We're going to do a little role play,
so that you learn to get properly paid. They'll just exploit you otherwise.
- Exploit? - Exactly.
So I'll be the customer who just called about the drain. Okay?
So... who will I be?
You'll be you, of course. Okay? Let's go.
- I'm the customer. - And I'm me.
Yes, you're you.
- Hi! - Hi.
Oh, my drain's blocked. What'll it cost to clear it?
50 kronor...
- Say 1,000. That's what it costs. - 1,000.
Oh, no, no, that's far too much.
- But...? - I'm playing the customer.
And I'm me.
100 kronor, then.
You're not meant to haggle.
You decide your value. No one else.
I don't do it for the money. I do it because I'm needed.
I'll come with you. Would that be okay?
Remember to stand firm. They won't dare to haggle.
- You have to be a bit tough and strong. - You sound like Mum.
She always went on about the "survival of the fittest".
Okay... What do you think she meant by that?
The fittest wins. But it doesn't work.
I tried to answer back on Facebook when they wrote nasty things about Mum.
She was handed a report of concern. I got the whole village after me.
Internet is... worse than booze.
People brag and put up photos of revolting food.
And they're nasty and cruel.
Tell me about it.
I don't like her.
Madde? What's she done to you?
You shouldn't badmouth people.
Because it makes you one of them.
Ugh! Look! Eh?
- It's a whole wig full of toenails. - What's the charge?
1,000 kronor. For two minutes' work?
You don't need to feel stupid. I know you can't do the sums.
I'll give you 100.
I decide how much I'm worth, not you.
I think you're a little confused.
Right. It was her who said I should charge 1,000.
- I'll pay you through my phone. - I just take cash. No tax, you know.
You can pay me. I'll give him the cash later.
Sorry, but you need to be more pedagogical with him if he's to get it.
I do?
You can't trust him. He's a Flodman.
- He steals. And tortures animals. - How do you know that?
I've heard the rumours.
Well, in that case...
It was... wrong of me to blame you.
It... wasn't on.
It's okay.
100 kronor is good enough for me. We can split it. That'll be...
That'll be half each.
I miss the cut and thrust of parliament. It feels empty here.
It won't be long before I'm forgotten.
But you're still one of the bank directors. That's enough for you, Stefan.
I'll have to write some nasty op-ed about the climate or some such shit.
- So they don't think I've wasted away. - You must learn to wind down.
And I have to get this phone serviced.
- Why's that? - It never rings.
It must be broken. It used to ring all the time.
This fan hardly sucks at all.
I can fix it. Where did you put the toolbox?
Come on, you're cackhanded.
Open the window and then go and lay the table.
- Did you speak to the lawyers? - They're going to call back.
I just don't get where this belly's come from.
I should've raised the VAT on food.
- Don't think about that now. - I just want to be a bit happy.
I just don't quite know how to go about it.
It feels like blinds have come down in front of my eyes.
What you need is a glass of wine.
Shall we ask the other directors round for crayfish? You love a song and a speech.
- The fishing period's expired. - What's a week here or there?
It's our water!
If we're seen, it'll get into the papers, and I can't be having that.
Stop bothering about approval ratings.
All that's over now.
- Nice wine. - Good.
The blinds have lifted a bit.
- I agree about a crayfish party. - Good.
Know what I heard in the village?
The ones we bought the house off ended up in psychiatric care.
- Why? - Flodman.
- If that's what you want to believe... - What's that stink?
Can't you smell it?
What is this?
- Eh? - He's emptying the shit from his privy!
But we're eating!
Maybe that's what they do out here.
- It's time to put our feet down. - Let's just get him a shower and toilet.
If we do, we'll never be rid of the man.
Grab your coat and umbrella. We're going to have a word.
- Look! They want another coffee time. - What are you playing at?
This is our land.
My privy was full.
We don't want to see some privy when we're cooking in our country house!
It's a house. I've told you that, Agneta.
And we'd appreciate it... if you cleared away some of the junk here.
- The cottage belongs to us, after all. - Why are you so cross?
Well. Maybe your carer can explain that to you.
And there'll be no more showering here. Do you understand?
Yes.
Come along.
"Carer"? Are you my carer?
Of course not.
Maybe you can ask when you're getting your shower and toilet.
The contract's expired.
- I don't think that's right. - It is. He's been prime minister.
Look, dig out that contract and I can take a look at it tomorrow.
Okay.
Have you lost your mind?
Your job is to make sure Flodman behaves himself,
not to annoy Stefan Carlsson.
I don't get why it's so important to pander to Stefan Carlsson.
I've told you. I...
...am really struggling to get a permanent position.
If Stefan Carlsson's happy, it means I've done a good job.
So Flodman isn't worth anything.
Hanna. A village idiot can't win against someone who's run the country!
Mind you don't fall in, Stefan!
Shut up.
I've done this hundreds of times.
There. That's all of them.
How are you intending to bring the pots back up?
You threw them in without floats.
Oh, sweetheart.
You really are not quite with it.
I do know how to do this, but you won't shut up, Agneta.
You need to learn that you don't have to be best at everything.
I'll buy some crayfish on my way to the bank.
It'll be fine.
- Are you rowing? - I'm rowing.
I can't take this.
Now I'm apparently carrying Minou's boyfriend's baby.
Can't you just apologise to that old gossip and put an end to all this?
- Because her guy was unfaithful? - Yes, or delete the app.
Instagram is for pathological liars and those with too much time.
Make yourself useful now instead.
Why were you out driving with Flodman?
- Hi! He gave me a lift, that's all. - Does he even have a driving licence?
Why wouldn't he?
Come on! He'd never pass the theory test.
You know that, right?
Is it true you're pregnant?
- No, Madde, I'm not pregnant. - No.
I didn't think so. I'm on your side in this. 100 per cent.
- Dinner at mine. Friday? - Okay.
- Yes? Deli stuff. It'll be nice. - Okay.
And celebrity gossip! I want to hear all about Stockholm!
Madde's mum died last winter. Froze to death in a snowdrift.
I don't really remember her.
- Yes, you do. - I don't.
The dinner lady who cut her finger off. When you were in primary school.
Surely you remember her - the alcoholic.
Oh, yes.
Bought moonshine from Flodman's mum. Just so you know.
You take what you've got. I've washed up the bottles so I've got eight or nine.
- Hello. - Oh. It's okay.
She's my home assistant. She's alright.
I can pay next time, okay?
I saw in Mum's cash-book that you haven't paid for two months.
I couldn't even afford a coffin for her.
No... But can't you see I'm in a bad way here?
Mum said I shouldn't trust alcoholics.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm just a bit hard up.
My boy's grown out of his hockey kit and I need to buy him a new one.
So he'll be really upset if he... He can't drop out of hockey.
But you don't care, right?
I do...
I don't want him to be upset...
You can pay me when you've got the money.
You know what? This time it's free.
Thanks.
I can't have the boy being upset...
Moonshine. You know that's...
...illegal, right?
We've got no off-licence here.
Listen. That guy...
He cheated you.
- He was in difficulty. - He wasn't.
But he said so.
He was playing on your emotions to avoid paying up.
You're too gullible, Flodman.
- So it's wrong to be decent now, is it? - Yes. If you get conned.
Let's have a look at that contract.
- Get it out and let's go through it. - It's gone. I searched all night for it.
That's not so good.
Just don't tell Stefan Carlsson that.
No.
Listen...
I heard that people have drunk themselves to death on your mum's booze.
Don't say that about Mum. Mum never did wrong.
- If she did, it wasn't her fault. - Forget your mother.
I can't.
I hear her all the time, inside my head.
Okay. And what does she say?
You know what you should do? Win Stefan Carlson over.
- How? - You could start by...
...moving your privy like he wants you to.
And removing all this junk from the garden.
No, I want it to be like it's always been.
Harry, sometimes you have to suck up to idiots to get by, okay?
Let's do another role play.
Role play? Okay.
You're going to learn how to suck up.
- Suck up? - Yes. Everyone manipulates to get by.
Can't I just be myself? I just want to be straight with people.
Hey!
- What's going on? - It's okay. It's just an air rifle.
They show up sometimes. It's no problem.
How can you not find this a problem?
They don't want to get a hiding. It's better they shoot me. I can take it.
I'll get you!
Then they run away.
It can't go on like this, Harry.
- What do you mean? - Getting shot at!
- Where are you going now? - I'm just getting a few things.
Here comes the tunnel.
As I was showering I heard Stefan. He was keen.
Is it sucking up if I fish him up a few kilos?
- Crayfish? But it's autumn! - So what? They'll taste the same.
Sure. Why not?
Good initiative. You've now learnt how to manipulate people. Careful!
- You have a driving licence, right? - I'm getting one...
I just have to pass the theory test first.
- I can help you study for it. - There's no point.
At school, my mind was always filled with other things when I had to study.
Like what?
Like why lasagne goes soft in the oven while gingerbread dough gets hard.
- I guess I'm just soft in the head... - Watch out!
You're not soft in the head, Flodman.
You're going to have to seal this boat properly, Flodman.
It's not my boat. It belongs to the house.
I usually borrow her.
You remind me of Sussie.
- Who's that? - Just a girl.
Kept wanting to teach me stuff.
Are we talking a girlfriend?
Yes, but it was in the 1900s.
Tell me more! How did you meet?
I use to do odd jobs around the school.
She was a dinner lady there.
Dinner lady? The one who cut her finger off?
Do you mean Madde's mum who froze to death?
It wasn't Mum's fault!
She said so and that's that.
So how long were you together with Sussie?
She just took off one day. Came back with a kid.
- Madde? - I don't like her.
So who's Madde's father?
No idea. Some idiot or other.
- Maybe she doesn't want people to know. - Why?
- I suppose she's ashamed. - Of what?
- He's not exactly a brain-box. - Is that so strange?
When you're told from morning to night that you're dim, you end up believing it.
Emma!
Wow! One look at me and he was off like a shot!
Did he want to come in? Am I some sort of cock-blocker now?
God, you're gross!
What? You think I'm sleeping my way to a job?
God, you're childish. I barely have sex with myself any more.
No.
Hanna?
I'm round the back.
- Now they won't have to see my privy. - That's great.
I see that you've removed all the junk from outside, too.
Yeah, I dumped the lot in the lake.
In the lake?
Are you stup... The lake isn't a rubbish dump, Flodman.
- People will see it. - Oh no, it's on the bottom.
Oh, please...
Come inside and have a look.
I spent all night tidying up.
You have to get rid of the booze and retrieve the junk.
And then hand in that grenade to the police, but you know that, right?
The police don't like me.
I can always try to disarm it...
No, stop! I don't want to die! Okay? Put it down.
We'll figure out what to do with it later.
Oh my God, how cute!
- Whose shoes are these? - They're mine.
Mum put them away for the next kid. She was good with children.
There weren't any more, though. They castrated her.
One village idiot was enough, they said.
Sure, it would've been nice to have had a little sister...
...with plaits and... dresses and stuff.
Have... you ever thought of having kids of your own?
Pah, no! Kids shouldn't have to feel ashamed of their parents.
No beer now! We're off to the house to tell them you've moved your privy.
And you can ask them if they need anything fixing. It's what you're good at.
Yeah. But would it be work or sucking up?
100 per cent sucking up.
You're not going to put that designer candlestick in the window for all to see?
But darling, you don't need to think about the party any more.
By the way, I spoke to the lawyer. We can't evict him.
We can. He tortures animals. I'm sure we can use that in court.
- I've not seen any animals there. - Because they've been tortured to death!
And I've heard tell that Flodman's parents were siblings, too.
Poor guy. It's so sad.
Isn't it just.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem to bother him. He's happy, no matter what.
It's unjust that daft people are often happier than clever ones.
I can't even remember when I was last happy.
- Sweetheart... - Bloody hell.
I regret accepting a directorship.
I hate the bank.
My obituary will say that I ended my life as a capitalist pig.
Rather Champagne and caviar than a nice obituary if you ask me.
Don't forget to buy the crayfish on your way home.
Please, no showering today.
I've tidied up the privy and moved the garden.
- The other way round. - Right. The other way round.
Do you have anything broken inside that I can fix for you?
No, thanks, we can manage.
It won't cost anything.
He can have a look at the extractor fan.
There's nothing wrong with this fan. It's working perfectly.
Really?
How come the fumes drift in?
I don't know. Let's have a look.
- Flodman? - Yes?
- Are you always this happy? - Yes indeed!
- How do you manage it? - By not thinking so much.
Ideally not at all. It makes me happy.
- But then you don't get much done. - Like what?
Whatever. Career. Marriage.
You don't get to take anything with you when you die.
Not even the wife.
No, thank God.
Ugh!
Come here!
Listen...
I wonder if we shouldn't sort you out a shower and a toilet after all.
- You're kidding?! - On one condition.
That you don't give us any trouble.
We should barely notice that you're there at all. Can you do that?
- Yes. - Good.
I just need to get Agneta on board.
That's very kind of you.
Not a word about this until I've spoken to Agneta.
But he's tidied up the garden and moved his privy.
Yes, I know. But he made such a racket all night.
Hammering and whatnot.
You can ask the council if they can find him some group home.
- He doesn't need one. - Of course he does.
He's just one big walking diagnosis.
No. Flodman's only diagnosis is that he's too kind.
What's up with these remote controls?
- Did it go okay? - Yes.
Yes, I'm getting a shower and a toilet.
I didn't say that, Flodman.
You'll have to take better care of him. The chap's not well.
The chap feels fine.
Come, come, my dear man, you can't stay in that cottage. All alone.
- I can. - You can't.
We're going to find you a group home.
What is wrong with these damn gadgets?
What's wrong with just On and Off?
Leave our things alone. Keep your hands off them.
- You did well in there, Flodman. - I am not moving into a home.
Don't.
You should never give in if you have right on your side.
I do not intend to move.
No one's moving you from your cottage.
I want to know why you promised him a shower and toilet behind my back.
I haven't. But as for the privy,
legally speaking, we're obliged to empty the bucket,
because it's on our land.
- Oh, my God. - Exactly.
Shouldn't we offer the municipality something so they help us with this?
- Like what? - An off-licence. They don't have one.
- I don't have the powers to do that. - I know. But they don't...
But Stefan Carlsson doesn't have the authority to decide this.
Naturally. But the voters don't know that.
We just need to instil some optimism.
Whether an off-licence opens or not is neither here nor there.
- Good thinking. - Thank you.
I'll make sure to get this out to the media asap.
Do so.
How does that feel? Eh?
- Is that nice? - Stop it.
I don't quite know...
Do you get the shivers? Goose pimples? I do.
- Would you like more? - My position, by the way.
When will that be decided?
We're having the final screening one evening soon.
So who's involved?
Me... and you. And a bottle of wine.
You're funny.
You think so?
- Am I just funny? - No, you're many things.
You think that...
Just one more thing.
Stefan Carlsson never does anything without wanting something back.
Your sister. What's her name again?
Hanna.
Oh! Has something happened?
I was just having a dance. I was feeling a bit down.
It's good to move around.
Come in! Great to see you!
- You're looking good! - Thanks.
Come in!
Stop it. It's not everyone who can bed Minou's boyfriend.
"Bed"? It was him who hit on me!
What?
That's not what the internet says.
I don't care what gets posted.
It's just trolls, who weren't even there when it happened.
- But I was, right? - God, yes.
Let's drop this now, Madde.
Who's the father?
Anyone I know?
No. He delivers bread to the shop.
He's dead hot. But married, of course.
The little one was made in the Coop staff toilet.
- Okay! - Not so romantic perhaps!
It's grim!
I go my own way.
Just like my mum did.
But you're going to tell the kid who its father was?
Or?
Nah. I got by without a father.
But... did you really, Madde?
Remember when we did showdance at school?
- Yes... - Remember this?
Film me. Go on, film me.
The last one's good.
"What a village idiot" you're thinking!
If you hadn't been cancelled you could've posted that!
Gold content!
Do you have any money now that you've been cancelled?
Have a guess.
No.
Sorry, that was a smelly one!
Hey. Can't you be its godmother?
Madde...
What became of your father?
I know who it is.
He'd just ruin everything. Forget it.
Hey, what did Minou's guy look like naked?
I knew it!
Good morning.
Or something?
Good morning.
Do you still have your theory book from when you learned to drive?
- What do you want that for? - I'm helping Flodman pass his test.
What? Flodman's always driving his car.
An off-licence?
STEFAN CARLSSON PROMISES OFF-LICENCE
So the council's promised him a favour in return now, has it?
- Don't get cross, now, Hanna. - What are you going to say now?
The council's decided to withdraw Flodman's home support.
So that's that.
- So I've been sacked, have I? - It wasn't up to me, you know that.
Okay, then. I guess I'll just have to work for free.
Hanna, don't screw things up for me, now!
You big baby.
So what's going on here?
Have I done wrong?
You told me to retrieve it from the lake.
I know. But now it's all back here again.
I...
I'll dump it in the forest later.
The forest is just as stupid as the lake. Take it to the recycling centre.
I don't want to drive on the main road. There might be police around.
Hey, look...!
- Do you think this'll make Stefan happy? - Let's quit the sucking-up for now. Okay?
- What about the crayfish? - You and I can have a crayfish party!
- With me? - Yes. You want me to sit there on my own?
- Then I'll go and get some dill. - You haven't passed your test yet!
We're going to do some studying now.
- Okay. - I don't know.
No. Then what does this mean?
It's a warning.
Warning for bad weather.
No! You know there isn't a sign for that.
It means "roundabout". Where you drive round and round.
- We don't have roundabouts around here. - Don't be daft.
What about this one?
Am I daft?
No.
- You're not daft. - So why does no one like me?
I like you.
Why?
Because you're fun and kind...
- You're getting paid for saying that. - No, I'm not.
I'm not your home assistant any more. You don't need one.
- So I'm not daft in the head? - No, you're not.
You're... just a bit different.
- Different? - Yes.
I'm different.
Yes, you are. As you should be!
You can't be loved by everyone.
Only wimps are liked by everyone.
Yes.
Let's study tomorrow. We're having crayfish and we need dill.
Do we? Wait, Flodman, I'll drive!
Wouldn't it be nice to invite others to our crayfish party?
- No it would not. - It'd be fun.
Crisp bread. And proper cheese.
Hanna!
- Thanks for yesterday, Madde. - I wasn't too much?
No, you were good.
See you at the tills!
Okay!
- Why do you hang out with him? - I help him. He's nice.
Nice? You mean daft.
Hey. I saw that the junk heap is back in the garden. That's not so good.
Fancy coming to a crayfish party?
Crayfish party? Now, in October?
I think you'll love it in a group home.
You can hang out with crazy guys who are just as crazy as you.
- Wouldn't that be nice? - If so, why aren't you living in one?
You can't eat something you haven't paid for!
No, no, Flodman. No stealing sweets.
- Exactly. It's good that you tell him. - But you're eating some too!
I don't eat sweets. I'm a grown-up.
These are for my grandkids.
He's a bit lost since his mother died. He means no harm.
I just think it's a pity the council doesn't take better care of the needy.
Thanks for lobbying for an off-licence.
Here you are. What did Stefan say?
- Nothing special. - Hanna...
Are you Flodman's carer now?
No, we're just mates.
- And you were once so big. - This is bigger. Much bigger.
Stefan Carlsson's on his way!
- I need to buy cakes! - Get sweets, I hear he loves them.
- Sour, salty, what does he like? - No idea. Just get everything they have!
Things are looking up for the off-licence.
They are, are they? That's wonderful, thank you so much.
Then maybe you can do me and Agneta a return favour.
Hi, Stefan!
I heard you liked sweets. Hope it's the right mix.
Not for me, thanks. I don't eat sweets, I'm a grown-up.
Where were we...?
Right, I heard that that home assistant is still there.
Didn't we agree that we'd remove her?
- She's a bad influence on Flodman. - Oh, dear.
She's helping him on a voluntary basis.
Then I think you should tell her to stop at once.
Of course.
She's just a bit childish.
Flodman simply has to go. He can't stay there.
It's no big deal for me, but my wife feels like she's living a nightmare.
She feels harassed.
We can't be having that.
Yes, it...
But we have to comply with the municipal code.
We can't just forcibly evict him.
If it gets out, we'll be in serious trouble.
Put him in a group home. It can't be that hard.
I've seen it on TV.
"Welcome to Köping".
I hear you, Stefan. And what I hear sounds very, very good.
But...
...the right of occupation is very strong.
If he can't cope on his own we'll have to have him declared legally incompetent.
For his own good.
That sounds like a plan.
Though it's called a trusteeship these days, right? But it's the same thing.
It's the same thing. Just different terms.
Then... we're in agreement.
Hi!
This is great!
- Can you manage? - Yep.
- Your little belly. Hi! - Hi!
This is going to be such fun!
Have you invited all our old classmates?
You'll find out. I thought I'd make it a surprise.
Shit.
- This is Flodman's car, isn't it? - Yes. He leant it to me. Come on!
Don't tell me you've invited Flodman, Hanna.
Madde, I know you find this hard but it's time you told him.
- Do you want my waters to break? - No, I don't.
But Flodman has a right to know that he has a daughter. That he has you.
Can't you see that I'm ashamed?
What do you think people will say? This isn't funny!
I was the one who stood up for you when you were bullied at school, remember?
Close the door and let's go.
Now it's your turn.
- Agneta? - I'm in the kitchen.
Come here, I'm in the kitchen.
It smells of freshly cooked crayfish outside.
Do you think Flodman has fished up our crayfish?
It'd seem so.
It's the girl from the supermarket - with that home assistant.
Didn't you say you'd had her removed?
- It looks like he's making moonshine. - That's good.
Poaching and home-distilling. Call the papers and the police.
I don't think that'd be wise. Normal people don't consider it a crime.
Who cares what normal people think?
He has to go!
- Hi, there! - Hi.
This is Madde.
Come on, we're just here to eat crayfish.
What would you say if I invited Hitler to your crayfish party?
- "Hitler"? - Say what you've done, Madde.
- I just made fun of him now and then. - It wasn't funny.
She was once with a gang in the café and they spat into my pizza.
I was fifteen years old! And it wasn't me who spat.
But you laughed, like this:
- Why did you do that? - I don't want this, Hanna.
After giving my all to this country, it all ends with a feud over a privy.
- Will that be my legacy? - Spare a thought for me, Stefan.
We're to grow old together here, you and I.
Isn't it enough that I had you on loan to the party for 20 years?
I want you for myself now, sweetheart.
It feels like the fizz has gone flat.
Sometimes I wish I was just a daft as Flodman.
He doesn't care about a legacy. It doesn't bother him.
You can't wish to be daft.
Agneta - intelligence is a curse.
The journalist beats the police to it. So typical for this country.
- Give this up now. - No, Madde.
- Stop it. - Let's go and sit down.
Too little dill. And they're over-cooked.
Okay. Er... Flodman...
...you told me about Sussie, didn't you?
I think about her every day.
Do you?
Mum stopped me going to her funeral.
I'd bought tulips from the Coop and everything.
The yellow ones that Sussie loved.
Nice.
She wasn't ashamed of me like the others.
She was a good person.
Think about it, Flodman.
Wasn't it a bit odd that Sussie went away and came home with a child?
Madde.
Okay, then I'll tell him.
You're going to be a grandfather.
But what...?
What about Madde's dad?
- Aren't they going to arrest him? - No, he'll just get a fine.
Everyone distils their own booze out in the country. Even the police.
We can't stand here. He can see us.
After this, surely his right of occupation will be revoked?
- Hi. - We're just having a breakfast meeting.
Good morning. We've met, haven't we?
Yes. Maybe.
Right. It's time for me to shake a leg.
Okay.
Good meeting.
- Bye. - Bye.
My mobile.
In the bedroom.
Alright.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Worked night? - Don't start.
Hard negotiations I presume.
We had a drink after work. He couldn't drive so he stayed over.
So have you got a permanent position now?
And wasn't he married?
"COUNCIL CARES LITTLE FOR THE NEEDY"
God, he really feels sorry for Flodman.
Illegal driving, home-distilling, poaching...
and dumping waste in the lake. My God.
At least he's not named.
Well that's great. Lucky that no one will work out it's Flodman.
Can't you just drop this?
- Haven't you seen what's going viral? - No.
Check this out:
Hanna, are you Flodman's carer now?
No, we're just mates.
And you were once so big.
- Minou's posted it on her Instagram. - Give it a rest.
- You told me to look after Flodman. - But not anymore.
The council has come up with another plan.
What plan?
Flodman's being assigned a trustee.
If he can't care for himself the council has to step in.
This isn't help. It's abuse. You're fucking corrupt, Emma.
What is it now?
- What are you playing at? - No pain, no gain, eh?
When am I getting the shower and toilet I'm entitled to? Answer me that!
- You have to do something now, Stefan. - What do you suggest - shoot him?
Will the privy just be standing there when the other directors arrive?
The crayfish. I forgot to go past the market.
- I'll have to go to the shop. - We'll serve frozen ones from the Coop?
What's wrong with the Coop? Why the snobbishness? I'm a working class guy.
Who lives in a country house.
Stefan Carlsson called. He wasn't a happy man.
Flodman's winding him up. What do we do?
I've spoken to the doctor.
It'll be difficult to put him under a forced trusteeship.
First they'll have to submit a report of concern
and that will take months to investigate.
But things like that can always be sped up.
We'll just have to get something on the doctor.
"Get something"?
You know, maybe he's applied for planning permission.
Or he has a potter in the family who needs an arts grant, what do I know?
We'll have to be a bit creative. Let's go a sit down.
I think we should do this...
Then there's the next instance.
The district court, which has to rule on a forced trusteeship.
- There are always loopholes. - Yes.
But...
The right of occupation is very strong.
It could backfire on Carlsson if he evicts him.
- It was his own party that introduced it. - Yes.
I think you're being a bit old-school. You have to be much more creative
if you're to enter local politics and expect a permanent position here.
What do you mean? You've already promised me the job.
If I did, I have no memory of it.
Stop this. You said so last night.
In which case I was talking in my sleep.
If you want a future here with us you need to show initiative.
Or maybe you mean show my lady bits.
Tell me more. Give me details.
What are you getting at?
I did as you said, and stopped sucking up.
Yeah... though I don't know...
Maybe that wasn't your best idea.
You said not to give in if you have right on your side.
No, but...
You said that people who are liked by everyone are wimps. Ow!
Shit!
- Fuck! - You come here!
- Let me go! - Why are you so horrible to Flodman?
Let me go!
- Now you apologise to him. - He's in-bred, for fuck's sake!
- No, what are going to do now...? - No! Stop it!
- What are you doing? - I'm not fucking in-bred.
No, of course you're not.
Maybe you can tell them how you feel when they say that,
instead of breaking his rifle.
- It makes me angry. - You sell my dad booze.
Hey. Would you like some sweets?
I'll buy you some. I'll be right back.
- You can't drive now! - I'll be quick!
Look. Stefan Carlsson there. He's shoplifting.
No. It's nothing.
Can't you see him?
Please don't make a scene. No one thinks Stefan's stealing.
- You're a good guy, Flodman. - When I did the same, I got thrown out.
No one round here likes you driving illegally and dumping junk in the lake.
And he sells booze to kids, too.
- What? I've never... Ow! - Now let's all calm down.
Calm down.
Come along, Mr Flodman. Situations like this are not Mr Flodman's fault.
A society that despises weakness soon becomes an ugly place to live.
This is not my Sweden.
In my Sweden, we care for the weak and outcast.
I'll make sure you get the help and support you need, Flodman.
You're sounding like you did on the TV.
What did he say? He apologised, right?
He said you're an in-bred moron who needs locking up.
- Where is he? Where is the bastard? - Over there.
There he is!
How dare you pick on my boy?
Now apologise to my boy.
Am I to apologise for him shooting me?
- Did you shoot him? - No. He's lying.
Of course he didn't. Of course not! Apologise now.
Sorry I broke your rifle. It wasn't nice of me.
Stop there, Flodman. You forgot.
You forgot to say you're a fucking in-bred moron. Say it. Loud.
Flodman. Tell my boy that you're a fucking in-bred moron!
Come on, Flodman! Tell my boy that you're a fucking in-bred moron. Loud.
- I...am an... - Stop this!
Stay out of this. Go back to Stockholm and grin on your fucking Instagram.
Here.
No way that's enough. That's a 4,000 kronor rifle!
I gave you free booze.
I've got nothing from you. Nothing. I want your car.
That's enough!
How the fuck can the likes of you be on the loose?
That's what people say about you. But I don't judge alcoholics.
You fucking piece of filth.
Just like your mother.
You don't decide my worth.
Child abusers, Flodman, have no worth.
Give me the keys, now! I'm taking your car.
I swear I won't give your dad any more booze.
- It'll stop things like this happening. - Give me your car keys!
- I want the keys! - You can't have them!
I'm taking your keys. Give them to me.
I'm taking your car!
Leave my dad alone, I said!
Your dad... Me?
Yes. You.
Harry...
I'm sorry.
Let's try to think ahead, Flodman.
You're going to be a grandfather.
That's amazing.
Grandpa.
No. Don't do anything stupid now, Emma.
The council needs to inspect the cottage
because it's been reported as unfit for human habitation.
Are you trying to sound like a bureaucrat now?
But it's...
It's actually insanitary if there's no shower or toilet.
But who's fault is that?
Don't you understand it's Stefan Carlsson who's the landlord?
It's his duty to make sure there's a shower and toilet.
Fredrik here is a health and safety inspector.
He'll judge whether you can stay here, Flodman.
Why bother when it's already been decided?
We've not decided... anything. We...
Look, if it's unfit, it's unfit
and we'll arrange a nice group home for you in the village.
A group home? No, no. Never!
You'll at least have a lovely shower and toilet.
Yes, he will.
Cheers and welcome!
If that bastard has destroyed my toilet, I'm bloody well destroying his.
Are you Stefan Carlsson's lapdog now?
Now just calm down. This is for Flodman's own good.
- We're going in. - You have no right of entry!
Have a word with your sister. We need to be able to do our job here.
He's got diagnoses.
You're the one with diagnoses.
What do you mean?
Pathological liar and psychopath, for example.
Whoa! What's all this?
I can't put lipstick on that pig any more.
- What pig? - You, and the whole fucking council!
You're one big filthy pigsty, corrupt as fuck.
Now ask your sister to move so that we can get to work.
Go ahead and crack on. Meanwhile I'll call your wife.
No, don't... What do you want with her?
I bet she'd like to know what her pink pig is up to
when he's doing overtime in other bedrooms.
- Hang up. We can discuss this. - Camilla speaking...
- Hello? - Leave Flodman in peace, okay?
- What was that? - Say it. Say it.
Who is this?
Hello?
What's going on? Stop this now.
Whoops, I think I got the wrong number.
They're leaving now!
- Lovely. - Pleasant as always.
Okay...
I took these little rascals from our fishing waters at dawn this morning.
I'll go round.
Bon appetit.
You've destroyed my privy.
No worries, Flodman. You can use our upstairs toilet for now.
But please, no showering. We have guests.
The neighbour. Life in the country!
- The snaps. - Sorry?
The snaps. I forget to buy snaps.
Please, sit down. I'll be back in a jiffy.
- It looks delicious. - Is that a cheese flan?
Yes...
Flodman?
Hello?
Three seconds.
Flodman?
Do you want to come out for a little chat?
About what?
The privy thing got a bit out of hand. I apologise.
I don't believe you.
Please, come out. Everyone makes mistakes, me included.
Flodman, you're a good chap. Please, come out.
Are you coming out?
Listen, you don't happen to have some booze still tucked away down there?
- Was it you that called the police? - No, absolutely not.
If it had been, I wouldn't be asking to buy some off you.
No, I see. You're right.
500 kronor? Would that work?
No, no. In that case, I want a new shower and a toilet in the cottage.
- I... - You can't fool me.
- Harry... Can I call you Harry? - Yes.
You have to trust me, Harry. We'll work something out.
- Where have you been? - I'm getting a shower and a toilet!
But... What are you doing now?
Hey...
- What's happened? - I'll tell you later.
I'm taking care of this now.
Good, good.
This... has to stay between us.
- Between us? - Good.
You're a decent chap, Harry. Leave by the kitchen door when you go.
So when do I get my shower and toilet?
All in good time. Be patient. We'll look at that contract later.
I've lost it. But you have a copy. I trust you.
We'll take a look at it later.
Dear friends, the first drinking song is always the worst.
It's like when you're still in the bath when all the water's drained away.
You feel a bit pathetic and wrinkled and bit dishevelled.
A crayfish feast A crayfish feast
Raise a glass to the crayfish feast
An empty glass at a crayfish feast
Means the crayfish feast is not a feast
A crayfish feast A crayfish feast
Raise a glass to the crayfish feast
- Cheers! - Cheers.
Do you want something?
Shall I run down to the lake, maybe, and get you some Swedish crayfish?
These ones are just Chinese.
You're funny, Flodman.
Wait, I'll get you a chair. You can join us for a bit.
- For me? - There you go.
My friends, this is Harry Flodman, our closest neighbour.
Welcome.
Hi. Is Harry Flodman here?
I heard that you're neighbours, you and Stefan.
Yes. They're giving me a shower and a toilet.
Are they? Okay...
I'm Monika, by the way. I sit on the bank's board of directors.
- Bank's... - Board.
My dad robbed the bank in the 1980s.
He bought me a new bike.
A Monark. Blue, it was.
Flodman, how about we change the subject to something lighter.
Yes... He hanged himself.
In Kumla prison.
- Your father? - Yes.
How awful!
It was just as well, Mum said.
I have lots of half-siblings around the country.
One lives in Alingsås, I know that much.
This is our neighbour's carer.
I'm Harry Flodman's friend, nothing else. My name's Hanna. Hello!
Hello!
How nice of you to pop by and lower the average age a little.
It's all a bit blokeish at the bank. Even the women are blokeish.
Why does the bank say you borrow money when in reality you rent it?
- Good question. You have a point there. - You think so?
I'd never be able to work at a bank as I have dys... calculia.
Why, that's...
Now... excuse me....I think it's time for another little song.
Yes...
I believe in aquavit
I believe in dynamite
It gives you strength to sing a song
And all your pains will soon be gone
Your daily woes you soon forget
As your grog begins to take effect
A snaps, a toast, a song is sung
And then we knock it back in one
- Cheers! - Cheers.
I know more. Would you like to hear them? The one about the farmhand...
No! No, thanks. We don't have that much drink left.
I can get you some more of my home-brew...
There's a cannister in the attic the police missed.
You're funny, Flodman. But there's no hurry.
Stefan, I think you should wake up a bit.
I think we've heard enough from the great philosopher for today.
Who's the great philosopher?
Yes! Now who could that be?!
- Have I done wrong? - Yes. You've gatecrashed.
Stefan, show Flodman the door.
Thanks for coming.
- You're scared of your wife, aren't you? - Who isn't?
The moron has terrorised us day and night.
We've tried to support him but it's no good.
- Let's go, Flodman. Ignore them. - One second.
No one's to be called a moron. That isn't the kind of language we use in this house.
Flodman's a little challenged, that's all.
There's no point making up new terms.
Everyone still thinks "moron".
- Are you there? - Hi, Emma!
I'm at a crayfish do at the Carlssons' with the bank directors.
You're on speaker. You can tell them about the off-licence.
It's Emma Fransson from the council.
You can turn that off. I can explain if necessary.
No, Stefan. Be quiet. I'll be the one to explain first.
Stefan Carlsson is trying to bribe the council with an off-licence
so that they declare Harry Flodman legally incompetent.
- Incompetent? - No, no...
Hang up, please. It's all fabrication.
We can go to the papers if you'd rather?
If you can let me explain this myself. We need some context.
The context is that he sells booze to kids tortures animals, drives illegally,
and dumps junk in the lake. That's the context.
Thank you, Emma. I'll call you back.
What is this fucking rabbit hole I've gone down here?
Is there anyone who cares how I feel? Do I even count?
Let's keep it down, Agneta.
Is it more important to pretend that that moron is normal
than for us to be left in peace?
- Where are you going? - The moron needs the toilet.
Look.
Let's go there.
Come on, Flodman. We're going.
Thank you.
Good! Go and play your banjo.
That's enough. This is bullying, and I cannot accept that.
Do you see now why the previous owners of this country house went mad?
It's a house, Agneta. House! House! House!
Jump in.
- Can you wait? I need to do something. - What?
What the fuck...?
What the...? That was three seconds.
No! Flodman!
No. Oh, God, oh, God...
Have you lost your mind? Where are you going to live now?
I'd rather live in the car than with those idiots. Get driving.
Drive.
- Hello! - We're here to see Madde Wiberg.
Room 55.
- I'm going home. - You don't have a home.
You just blew it up. Come on, let's go in.
What are you standing there for? Come in!
Feet and fingers... Everything there?
Yes...
- What's his name? - I'm wondering that, too.
Person.
- It's a person, Hanna. - Yes.
It's a person.
Let's just hope it doesn't take after me.
With luck, the bad genes will skip a generation.
Take Elvis Presley's grandchildren. They dislike bacon and peanut butter.
I swear. I won't tell anyone I'm your grandfather.
To spare you the shame at school.
We're not ashamed of you.
- Would you like to hold him? - No, no...
- Go on. - I just break things.
You'll be fine.
There.
Hear that? Nice one.
Don't forget to call his dad. It's really important you do that.
Yes... Yes.
I'm your grandpa.
I won't let anyone bully you.
I'll teach you all I know.
How to chop wood, fish for crayfish...
...and unblock drains...
Well. That's about it.
Have I done wrong?
No.
- I'm Grandpa. - Yes, you are.
You're Grandpa.
Yes.
Smells nice.
You're with your grandpa.
Put that away, can't you? Hasn't it all died down a bit by now?
No. The last time I checked I'd apparently given him chlamydia.
- That's horrible. Had you? - No, of course I hadn't.
The mayor's wife has started to post stuff about me on Facebook.
- Has she? - I've never seen so many vomit emojis.
Forget them. You're too good for that job anyway.
And listen, be nice to Flodman.
I will, but he has to be careful.
If you throw one hand grenade you might throw another, say the police.
Harry Flodman is a survivor.
Right.
Can you hang on for a second? I need to tell a friend something.
You know - she's gone quiet.
- Who? - Mum.
- Right... - Inside my head.
The last thing she said was that I'd make an okay grandfather.
But I mustn't let it go to my head. Know what I replied?
You do your job, I'll do mine. And then she went quiet.
Good!
Time to get off! We have to get going.
I knew all the traffic signs too, when Madde tested me.
I can live with her now until I get a job.
She's got a lovely shower and toilet.
What job are you thinking of getting?
I'm thinking of becoming a politician.
The pay's good. And you don't even need a secondary education.
- No. I'm sure you'll be fine. - Yeah.
Hey, you! Time to get off!
- Look, can I take a selfie with you? - Why?
- It's what friends do, isn't it? - Right. They do.
There. Nice!
We're leaving. You need to get off!
Hey. Tell Madde I want to be godmother.
Madde! Madde! Hanna wants to be Kaspian's godmother!
That's great!
HANNAOFFICIAL: A TRUE FRIEND. THE REST OF YOU - FUCK OFF!