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Damn. We can't go any further. Faster! The young couple's waiting.
I apologize. I had an emergency.
Some old biddies from Wodniczki were feuding over broody hens.
We're gonna be late. They're waiting, and we still need to pick up the flowers.
My cap!
Quickly! The young couple is probably waiting.
Oh, our beloved ladies!
-Well, look who we have here. -Where were you?
We wanted to prepare spiritually.
Stop. Exhale.
Your spirituality will give me a hangover.
Tradition dictates that we drink to the young couple's health.
Here, you'll give them these.
We can't be late.
-The young couple is waiting. -Yeah.
RECTORY
Boys! Move it. The young couple's waiting.
Father!
-The stole! -The plate!
-It's ready. -The collection plate is a must.
You should take care of your appearance.
-Oh, Dad, give it a rest. -Oliwka, beautiful as always.
-What a gorgeous couple. -Yeah, they're a picture of health.
I've waited so long for this day.
Can we start?
-Let's start. -Play!
-Wait! -What do you want to wait for, my flower?
What else do you need to be happy?
Maybe my granddaughter would like to marry Kuba, ah?
Jan and I would gladly yield this wedding to them.
You're the ones who want to get married, not us.
-I'll gladly get married. -I'm not yielding this wedding to anyone!
-May we? -Begin, Reverend.
Play!
Oh, my beloved sweetheart We've waited so long
Despite all the people Who claimed we weren't strong
I waited for you Through spring, summer, fall
So you would love me In front of them all
Oh, my beloved darling For the whole world to see
I will love you For all eternity
When the leaves start to drop In the middle of fall
Because I vowed…
Halina?
-Halina! -Grandma!
It's honestly a huge shock to the system
to leave widowhood behind.
I need to catch my breath and quench my thirst
with my bridesmaids around me.
Halina!
To the back. Quickly!
Relax.
And one, and two.
-Grandma, what are you doing? -Halina, tell the truth.
You'd rather stay single, huh?
Have you lost all feelings for Jan?
On the contrary, I haven't.
But I can't marry Jan now.
You've got to help me out of this premarital situation.
-But why, Grandma? -One for all.
And all for one.
Who would've thought that my Halinka was so in love with me
that she'd lose her breath before we've even said our vows.
Open your eyes. Your bride has left you at the altar.
Where's Halina?
-Oh, she had to go for a walk. -From all that emotion.
Don't ask.
-What? -Yup.
Something like this has never happened in Bodźki.
My condolences.
Either I'm blind
or it says here that I'm gonna lose my house.
You read it.
You're behind on payments.
But I wrote to them requesting to pay in smaller installments.
-Don't payday lenders have hearts? -In what world, Halina?
They reject those requests. Every day you delay, you accrue interest.
Now you don't owe 3,000 zlotys, but 6,000!
You have until the end of the month, or you get the three axes.
It's what they call Section 777 of the tax code.
If you don't pay on time, your house goes up for auction.
Holy Mother of God.
-It's all because of me. -No, Wojtuś. Stop that.
I'm the one who made a mess of things.
Oh! And remember…
Not a word about my finances,
especially to Jan.
Promise.
I promise.
Good.
What about the wedding?
There won't be a wedding.
-There won't be a wedding. -What?
-Go with God. -How come?
IT TAKES A VILLAGE
Halina Madej, the cheese lady, yes.
I have a question, yes.
Could you pay me in advance for the--
No? But I really need--
Yes, I understand.
Halina!
Halina?
Halina!
I know you're here, Halina.
Have the decency to look me in the eye and settle this proper-like.
Halina!
Where's that hellish shrew feeder of yours?
Halina.
Halin…
-Don't badmouth me to my own livestock. -I held back the worst part.
I know.
-You'd have to be the worst kind of… -Go on. Say it.
The worst Podlasian, old biddy to treat her significant other this way!
Podlasian, old biddy?
So I did the right thing, if that's what you think of me!
I thank God for saving me from such a hellish wife!
Halina, you have no heart.
It's all over for us, Halina.
All of it!
Oh…
What have I done?
What
the hell have I done?
We wanted to open our inn with a wedding reception.
Instead, we got a wake. What a mess!
You were supposed to bring me luck, Grandma.
'Cause she's a fallen angel.
A fallen angel in Halina's image.
Oliwka.
Tell me,
since you two share the same genes,
why did Halina treat Jan like that?
It'll all clear up somehow.
She destroyed Jan's reputation in front of the whole village.
Good thing we brewed so much moonshine as a wedding gift,
'cause who could bear Halina's awful behavior without a drink?
-Not a soul. -The Solomons of Podlasie have spoken.
-Pour him a half. -Yeah, half.
Half…
Maybe Matylda could determine what's driving Halina's guilt.
'Cause our parishioner's reputation is on the line here.
I don't meddle in my neighbors' private affairs.
But if Halina feels the need, she knows the way to the confessional.
Halina had her reasons.
Wojtuś,
you know something.
Won't you tell your buddy?
Wojciech.
Everyone knows what Halina's like. She's feisty.
But she wouldn't hurt someone for no reason.
I'm gonna need to have a more honest talk with Grandma.
How about we make bets?
Who bets that Halina and Jan will make it work?
A priest encouraging gambling?
The money's not for me.
The church could do with some refurbishing after that unfortunate incident.
That's some idea you have!
Making moonshine in the vestry? At full blast, no less?
You gotta know how to brew.
Half.
Wise words.
Where are you going, Wojteczek?
You were supposed to move in with Halina, but--
You gave your family's land to the brothers-in-law
for their moonshine business.
-Where will you go? -I don't know.
Wherever my feet may stray I don't know the destination or way
Jan carved Halina out of love
She dumped Jan But it wasn't malice she was guilty of
What's that? A song?
In the making.
Oh, Halina.
-I can't look at the hag. -Jan!
Jan, I have to tell you… Jan!
I have to tell you something important. I broke your heart, Jan.
Have you lost your marbles?
-I like you, Wojtek, but-- -No!
The thing is, I persuaded Halina to make a bad investment.
What investment?
My friend, well, ex-friend, was making money on cryptocurrency.
I was doing well, too, so I told Halina about it.
Since her cheese business took off, she became greedy.
I mean, she was open to various business ventures.
I knew you were stupid, Wojtek, but my…
But Halina?
-How much did you lose? -I lost a bit of my savings. But Halina…
How much?
A lot.
-But why? -She wanted to help Oliwka and Kuba.
And buy you your dream Junak.
Junak?
And Halina hid all of this from me?
That means
she didn't call off the wedding because she doesn't love me.
OLIWKA'S RESTAURANT
Mom?
Oliwka!
You came after all!
How could I not?
I don't know if Halina will be happy,
but on a day like this, we should be together.
You have no idea how much I need you.
I'm so proud of you.
Tell me, how was the opening of your restaurant?
Hold on.
Why aren't you at the wedding reception?
That's a very long story.
Come on. I'll tell you everything.
-Need help with your bag? -No, I'll manage.
-So how much did she lose? -Everything.
How much?
Thirty thousand.
How is she gonna get out of that debt now?
The cheeses are our only hope.
Then we need to drum up some customers for the cheeses.
I hate myself for getting her into those bitcoins.
It'd be better if I was abducted by aliens!
She's not in the house.
Not here, either.
Halina had this on at the wedding.
Mom, did Grandma…
Oh my God! She didn't…
Don't bother me.
Louise, I can't let Jan marry someone who's bankrupt.
Ah! I found your phone number on the internet.
Maybe you could buy some of my goat cheeses, huh?
But you have a whole chain of stores.
Maybe you could put my products in one of them, huh?
Ewa!
You made it to your mother's wedding after all.
Too bad you're a little late. I see you took a shortcut, eh?
Jesus! Could you be happy to see me for once, Mom?
Oliwka and I have waited our fair share for you to come back from your travels.
Oliwka and Kuba visit me all the time,
and I've invited you to Gdańsk many times.
I forgot what it's like to have you two around each other.
Why'd you call off the wedding?
'Cause your late daddy came to me in a dream
and told me I was to remain a widow.
-Grandma! -What?
I must respect my husband's wishes.
Get inside. You'll catch a cold. Now!
What about you?
Who's gonna milk the goats and prepare the cheeses, huh?
Mom, when's the last time we saw each other?
We'll have time to talk.
About Jan, too?
What did I say?
You kids get inside, or you'll catch a cold. Move it!
Jan's heart has got to be in pieces if he's taking it all out on his art.
I'm building a life raft.
Are you planning a solo cruise down the Narew?
It's for Halina.
You wanna float her out of Bodźki?
Better.
Good.
Here, let me help.
I see you haven't forgotten how it's done. Oh!
Will you tell us the truth?
Will you?
You weren't supposed to be at the wedding.
On the phone, you said you had someone, but you came alone.
Mom, enough. I don't want an interrogation.
You wanted us to talk. But if you don't want to, then don't.
Grandma! Mom.
Can't we talk like normal people? Like others, y'know, normal-like?
There. See, Louise, what great girls I've got?
Oh, Jesus. The Blessed Virgin's mad at me.
Am I so sinful, she's punishing me with a hangover and visions?
Everyone! Help! Martia…
Help! Martians!
Martians!
POLICE
Where are you off to in such a hurry?
Matylda!
Let's go. There's a UFO there!
Are y'all crazy?
Hey!
There.
Look over here.
Wojtek Kurek reporting from Podlasie for the "What a Shock" channel.
What happened here was a shock. There's no way to describe it.
The parish priest is here. How did you come across these miracles, Reverend?
-I was going blueberry picking-- -Speak into here.
We must all donate to the church now, so that the evil--
Not so close.
What evil? Did the Martians ever do anything bad to anyone?
-You gotta be open to new things. -I'll say something.
I saw on TV that they introduced civilization.
-They even built the pyramids in Egypt. -Why would we need pyramids?
What if they built us a tasteful sphinx?
Yeah, what a shock.
And how did it happen? Come here.
How exactly did these aliens take an interest in your field?
It's my… I'll set the record straight.
It's my field where the aliens made these circles.
Your field?
I want everyone to know,
right here is where my family's land starts.
Why are you spreading such lies?
Why would a higher intelligence pick a field belonging to either of them?
I have no idea.
This is a scandal. And if there's a scandal--
Hey! Why are y'all standing here? What punk trampled the crops?
-The Bodźki authorities. -What's going on? Film me. Stop!
This might be a crime scene. Don't film.
Stop.
Good morning.
Hello.
Good morning.
What's all this noise in the middle of the night?
The night is long gone.
Look at this, the three of you together at last.
It's those sleeping herbs of yours. They were too strong.
Ms. Halina, I said one teaspoon. No more.
One teaspoon, and you just kept heaping it on.
-And now the whole morning's wasted. -Come on. You've got to see something.
I've missed Bodźki a lot, but I think I'll skip today's attractions.
Even aliens?
What?
Don't step on it. Don't erase the tracks.
-We should fence it all off. -Why fence it off?
This is the site of the incident. You're filming?
-On my phone. -Why, you!
It's a souvenir of the aliens. For posterity.
-You should work on your posterity first. -I'm just unlucky in love.
Who's that?
Good morning.
Ewa Madej!
-Oliwka's got a sister? -Don't you remember Oliwka's mom?
He doesn't.
Hello.
-Hi. -Hello.
-You girls haven't changed at all. -This is Janek the Shrimp.
He became our parish priest.
We've been waiting for an invitation to one of your exhibitions.
-My painting didn't work out. -'Cause city folk just don't get art!
Wojtek Kurek. At your service.
I remember you being this small.
Halina's coming.
Halina.
Ewa, do you know why Halina didn't go ahead with the wedding?
No idea.
So it took aliens landing in Bodźki
for you to finally visit us, flower!
I don't know who made these scribbles and destroyed the crops.
Definitely not the aliens.
How would you know, Halina? Did you see what happened?
I wasn't here, and I saw nothin'. But I have a brain, so there!
Halina.
Shall I drive you back?
Ewa? I don't believe it.
-Hi. -No…
After all these years?
Hi. Hey.
Well, now I know all of this is your fault.
Do you think I'm the one who sent the Martians to Bodźki?
Didn't you?
If you weren't late to your mom's wedding, you likely would've kept Halina in check,
and we'd still be dancing at the after-party.
You know that I'm the last person who could keep Halina in check.
You still draw?
It's just…
scribbles.
Who would've thought, Ewa, that our kids would bring us all together?
Yeah, they turned out great.
And how's your granddaughter?
Can you imagine? Tolcia and her mom are treating sick animals in Nairobi.
Look.
Yeah.
Is anyone hungry?
-Me! -Me!
Come on. Everyone's invited. Adam!
Come on over to my place.
-Finally. -Come on!
Sorrel soup.
-Great. -With egg.
As you know, I'm a rational man. I don't believe in miracles.
And the Immaculate Conception?
Jan, don't mix the Blessed Virgin with Martian mud.
Don't you feel bad about it?
Your crops were destroyed. God's gifts were wasted.
Who can blame those poor aliens for taking a liking to our field?
Yup.
We're not gonna be dragging the Martians to court.
Yup.
-Maybe I'll give you a hand. -Mom, you in the kitchen? You're kidding.
-She's stressed about her debut. -Yeah.
She needs wind in her sails on this new path.
-She's got a great father-in-law. -You bet!
Are y'all blind?
Can't you see that someone's turning our village into a laughingstock
and scaring off my cheese customers?
You're speaking from a closed-minded perspective.
Halina, did you even consider
that these Martians are bringing you customers?
Those who have God in their heart and a lick of sense won't believe
that Martians have raided our village.
People…
People of deep faith…
People of deep faith believe in more alien stuff than that.
Reverend, how can you say such nonsense and mess with people's heads?
Who's in favor of the Martian Initiative,
that aliens landed in Bodźki?
And who's in favor of tracking down the fraudsters?
I'm Switzerland.
And you?
Mom and I are with Jan, Grandma.
My own family?
No.
What?
Isn't it enough that you're turning the whole village against me?
Halina, you can't even fathom
that someone might have a different opinion than you, eh?
You're out for revenge. Because I didn't marry you.
That's just low!
What's low is that you lack moral courage.
You never told me that you have no feelings for me.
What would you say
about creating a mural here, in the Bodźki style?
-I knew you'd come up with something. -Great idea.
Listen, what if this restaurant isn't such a great idea?
What if I bit off more than I can chew?
Why would people want to eat at my place?
The answer is simple.
'Cause you don't cook.
You work magic.
Yeah.
What have I always told you?
That you've got to have dreams and follow them.
And let's stick with that, because realism is overrated.
That angel is really something.
It's a shame that our local Nikifor is going to waste.
What is it, Wojtuś?
Oh, Kubuś, I'm telling you,
I have a feeling you'll be calling me "Dad" soon.
-Are you sick? -Ewa. She's perfect.
Just right for me. And an artist. God, look at the way she walks.
I'll get you some water. Cold water.
You Podlasian nutjob.
"Ewa Kurek." Very nice.
Something landed over there. Let's go.
-Slow down. -Stick to the plan.
-Good. -Yeah.
-Move when he does. -Don't kick it!
-Oh, no! -You're kicking it.
-Pull! -That's good.
Very good.
Good…
-Who is it? -Martians!
Real ones!
I got you punks!
Matylda?
Is it proper for a police chief to scare her own citizens?
Is it proper to jerk around your own police chief?
Girls, y'all are doing this behind Halina's back?
-We only just joined this operation. -Yup.
Wojtek, why didn't you tell me? I would've told you.
'Cause you're henpecked, Kuba!
And we deliberately kept a lid on it,
so you wouldn't have to intervene and forbid us from acting!
-We're doing this for Halina. -For Halina.
We wanted to draw tourists to Bodźki so they'd buy Halina's cheese.
So they'd buy it!
To help a bit with Halina's installment.
-Installment! -Installment!
Hold on. What installment?
-Step on it there. -It's crooked.
Here.
Step on it here.
What a mess.
We need to confer.
Kuba and I can cover the six thousand for the installment.
Yes, please.
But we can't pay off the whole loan in one go.
-But we won't let Halina-- -Ah, kids.
Don't you know Halina at all? She won't take a single zloty from you.
Why didn't you come to me right away?
You got caught up in a financial pyramid scheme.
Halina told me not to.
I get that you fell for all that fancy crap. But Halina?
'Cause it looked solid.
Initially, they paid 10% on your investment.
Dad!
Yes, I invested and lost money, too. But I didn't get into debt.
And where did you get the idea for the aliens?
That was me.
I saw this program
on TV.
-About English farmers. -They made a fortune on the crop circles.
They were raking in cash. Why should we be any worse?
And when Wojtuś mentioned aliens, well…
Not to brag, but I came up with the idea.
Jan is our brains.
He's level-headed.
Then the guys pulled me and my brother-in-law
onto this Martian life raft,
and here we are.
We're always ready for a party.
-A rescue party. -To the rescue.
…sings all of creation Praise to Thee in adoration
Praise be!
-Forever and ever! -Excuse me!
Are the crop circles here?
What, are you gonna pray to the circles or something?
We're going to see the Holy Virgin, and we just wanted to stop by the circles.
-Back there somewhere! I don't know. -And the cheeses?
-Are they for sale? -Yes.
-Why? You wanna buy some? -Well…
They're fresh. Made them myself. Come on over. Come on!
COSMIC POWER-IN-LAW
Here! Here you go.
Halina!
Good morning.
-Good morning. -Good morning.
-Have you seen the aliens? -Aliens?
We've seen it on the internet.
-You have? -Yeah.
I saw the saucer with my own eyes. They tried to capture me, but I run fast.
Wojtek Kurek runs fast! Did I survive?
You'll find out if you subscribe to my channel, "What a Shock."
Would you like to buy some cheese? I still have some left to sell.
They're fresh. Made them myself.
And if you're hungry,
there's a very good restaurant in the village center.
Best in the region.
It's called "Oliwka's." I recommend it.
-All right. -Thank you.
-Goodbye. -I recommend it!
Goodbye.
Julian.
Halinka.
What are you doing here?
I knew my heart would finally lead me to you.
-Yes. -Halinka.
Come on.
-But what… -Come on.
Oh, Halina…
My grandson showed me the footage of your visitors.
I recognized you right away. I took it as a sign.
What happens in Ciechocinek, stays in Ciechocinek.
I couldn't forget you, Halinka.
And I was worried because of that Martian thing.
I've read that aliens abducted hundreds of people in America,
for research or spare parts.
You believe in such nonsense, Julian?
"Believe"?
NASA confirmed that astronauts have seen flying saucers.
I'd take it seriously, y'know,
for your own safety, Halina.
You should come with me to Kielce.
And when things calm down here,
we can decide together where we want to live.
Julian, you've lost your mind.
Go home, Julian.
Go.
That's women for you.
MARTIAN CIRCLES
-We'll take these two figurines. Here. -Adults have to pay.
But kids go free of charge.
-So with the figurines, that'll be 150. -And you really saw those spacemen?
How could I not? I saw them, I did, yeah.
-Can we take a photo with you? -Yes.
-Come on. Excuse me. We're taking a photo. -Smile.
Here we go. One, two, three. Smile!
The circles are located 50 meters in that direction.
Look at that.
-Delicious pie! Here you go. -You're giving it for free?
-People came from far away. -We can't be inhospitable.
For now, we have to suppress our Podlasian hospitality.
Taking money from visitors is hard for me, too,
but they believe in aliens.
No one is forcing them to pay. Almost.
And we're not collecting money for ourselves.
-So two zlotys? -Five.
-Homemade pie baked with local eggs. -Delicious!
-Five zlotys a piece! -Five zlotys!
Who knows how these crop circles and Martian marvels work,
or how they corrupt the Christian soul?
For a small donation,
I will say a prayer of protection for every lamb.
Maybe the Reverend could chip in to Halina's collection, huh?
I'll give you a cut.
Do not be afraid. A small donation, if you please.
I never envied Halina anything,
but I wish someone would love me the way Jan loves her.
You said recently that you were in love.
I was stupid, as always.
It was a rotten apple.
We need to find a way to reconcile Halina and Jan.
It'd be a shame to waste this love.
-Good morning. -Good morning.
-We've heard there's good food here. -The best there is. The best!
Welcome.
All right…
How about this table? Someone will be right over.
-Thank you. -Thanks.
OLIWKA'S
Send it to me.
Turns out romantic comedies are actually pretty smart movies.
Sent.
In the movies, when women flee the altar, there's always another guy.
Always.
A photo isn't enough to call Halina unfaithful.
She might have lost her way financially, but she'd never cheat.
-And not a word to anyone. -Yes. No.
Yes.
-Praise be. -Forever and ever.
I have a delicate matter to discuss.
I'd like to know
if Halina had any grave sins to confess during her pre-wedding confession.
I'm bound by the seal of confession.
You don't have to say anything.
Just nod your head when I list the sins.
I'm only interested in one.
You might remember how I carved the nativity figurines free of charge, eh?
You didn't carve just those figurines.
Now, because of you, we have to pray to Halina.
Oh, come on. I was blinded by love.
For the church reconstruction.
You really want to know?
Then don't keel over from shock.
Halina didn't go to confession at all before the wedding.
And you let her take the sacrament?
Halina's too strong for me. I was afraid to say no.
How much sinning did you do, Halina,
that you didn't even reveal your transgressions to the priest?
Jan!
Come to a conciliatory dinner with Halina.
Halina? That's convenient, because I've got things to say to her.
What's going on here? You're up to something.
I am.
I cooked something especially for you.
All this for me?
And your future significant other.
It'll be nice.
Halina! We need to have a talk.
Halina!
Nothing to talk about. You were right. Those aliens are very good for my cheese.
-Do you know how much I sold today? -How could you cheat on me, Halina?
What is this nonsense?
-Have you got a screw loose? -Look.
Here's undisputable proof of your infidelity.
Halina. No!
-Mother of God! -Halina!
Halina!
Are you all right? Halina, is everything okay?
Mom!
-Halina! -Mo…
How could you make me a cuckold, Halina?
Since you've already condemned me, fine. I did cheat on you.
You want it, you got it. There!
There.
I won't let you out until you tell me the truth.
No one's questioning me in my own house.
Oh, yeah? Wanna bet?
Ewcia!
-Mom, I get being in debt, but infidelity? -How do you know I'm in debt?
So you don't deny cheating on Jan?
I'm not sharing my personal life with anyone.
No! It was Granddaddy's. Careful!
-Come on. -Talk!
It's all because of Jan.
I heard him talking to the brothers-in-law
about how he wasn't sure if marrying me was a mistake.
That's why I wanted to get back at him.
Be more specific.
Well, I went to that singing competition in Ciechocinek,
alone,
'cause the girls got the flu.
-There. -So you met the other guy in Ciechocinek?
Yeah, Julian. He was in the Kielce Larks.
A soloist.
Yeah. We sang together a bit.
And?
And we danced a few times at a tea dance.
And?
And we might've had a glass of eggnog.
Just one?
Maybe two.
Now clean up the mess you've made! Go!
-Needs more seasoning. Let me see. -No, it's very good.
-Yours does, too. -And yours?
-It's not good. -All of it is delicious.
What are you saying? It's completely bland.
You're too hard on yourself. It's delicious.
You're being uncritical.
I'm not uncritical. I'm actually very critical.
Do you know who came up with this whole alien thing?
Jan did.
For you.
A percentage of the profits.
Everyone chipped in.
Jan said they'll have the full installment by the end of the month.
Holy Mother of God.
So all of you wanted to help me.
Thank you.
Mom, talk to Jan.
No!
I can't accept this.
You've always gotta be so stubborn.
I can't allow others to pay for my stupidity.
But I'm just asking you to talk with him, okay?
You and I were never able to get along. And now you want to lose Jan, too?
You ran away from me. As far as you could.
Did you ever wonder why?
-Hello? -Ewa!
The angel you sent me is gorgeous. Perfect for my gallery.
I knew you'd like it.
Is there a market for it in New York?
It's a celebration of sensuality and playfulness.
Who's the sculptor?
-One you can discover yourself. -I have clients in the gallery.
They'd like to see more. Send me something.
Now?
You know how it is in this business. Strike while the iron is hot.
They're wealthy people. Something may come of it.
Move the light to the other side, please.
That's what I call an eye for art.
In this setting, Jan's peasants acquire an artistic dimension.
Yeah. But are they worth anything?
I believe in Jan's art.
It's honest and comes from the heart.
We got it!
You're a sweetheart, angel.
So what now?
Now we have to keep our fingers crossed that someone buys them.
All right, I'm off.
Bye, darlings!
Bye. Thank you.
I'll be off, too.
Where?
It's not proper to let a woman walk alone at night.
She might get abducted by Martians or something else.
My guitar.
I look so pretty.
Prettier than in real life. You can see it was painted from the heart.
I forgot the guitar.
Will you pose for me?
Like this?
Will you sing?
Oh.
I get nervous when I'm in love.
Is it requited?
I don't know. I don't have the courage to confess my feelings.
Why don't you sing them?
I'm sure it'll work.
I see you eat those dumplings As if you want to kiss me
Why are you distracting the artist at work?
Make yourself useful. There's a ton of dishes to wash, Wojtuś.
-No… -Yes!
How's Halina doing?
I get the impression that she'd prefer if I left.
Oh, come on. In her own way, I'm sure she's happy you're here.
You've always been a great friend.
I'll tell you something. Maybe I wanted to be more than that.
But you didn't give me a chance.
That's what my mother needs.
You're not gonna play matchmaker, are you?
Maybe I won't have to.
This is bland, Oliwka. Stick to cooking.
Never mind love. Love will find a way.
Wojtek!
Bland? What are you saying?
It's under seasoned.
Giorgio Rivali, a chef from Milan, had the same thing.
He was so focused on the Michelin star that he lost his sense of taste.
Honey, that won't happen to you. Everything is delicious. Right, Wojtek?
Yes, the most delicious.
Oliwka, I'm the problem.
I taste it now. I like it. Watch.
It's my taste buds… I'll get the plates.
-Kuba. -Hey.
-I can't taste what I'm cooking. -Hey, everything is delicious.
Really.
-Thank you. -Thank you very much.
I blew a tire.
-Halina gave you her cheese? -Ewa.
You should've seen her prepare them.
-How? -So…
-Thank you. -Goodbye.
Everyone's selling something but me.
Yeah.
Maybe you could write a hit song.
Why didn't I think of that?
We've collected a hefty sum for Halina.
And there will be more.
I admire you, Jan.
You did this whole collection for Halina, and she turned out to be unfaithful.
If I were you, I would've lost all feelings for her.
My heart is faithful,
though broken.
Oh!
My heart is faithful Although broken
No.
Next time, I'm gonna ask for ID.
Here, take a sausage.
Excuse me. I'm looking for a friend.
Come closer. There's no need to shout at each other from afar.
I'm a little wary of those circles.
Maybe there's some radiation. I don't know.
-That's what "Cosmic Power" is for. -Yeah. It's a good disinfectant.
-Come closer. -Really?
-Yeah. -Really.
Well…
-Come closer. -Check it out. Take a look.
Good stuff.
Gentlemen, excuse me. Do you know where Halinka lives? She's--
-Her? -We do know.
-Halina, right? -She's like--
For our Halinka's friend, a bottle must be offered for free.
No, there's no need, really.
One might not work on aliens,
but two will definitely do the trick.
That's really--
-It should be half price. -Free nectar can get stuck in your throat.
Quiet.
You wanted to see our Halinka, yes?
I'll take you.
It's faster through here. Please.
We gotta run Jan a tab.
-Two bottles free of charge. -Put it on his tab.
Did you ask what she's up to?
She wouldn't tell me the truth anyway.
You two should go to therapy.
You think Halina would admit her mistakes to anyone?
Nah, we have to find out what she's up to.
No way. I'm not spying on my own grandma.
Yes. You can hear me, yes?
I'll continue.
Here's what you write in the ad - "1,500 meters, meadow by the forest." Yes.
Put it in the paper and on the internet
'cause I want to sell this land as soon as possible.
Yes.
A bit further down the road and then left.
Yes?
Here.
Not here. Careful. Not far. Not far now.
This way, please.
No, I'll go after you, if you don't mind.
I must let the guest go first.
-Yes? -Please, this way.
If you insist.
Yes.
This way.
Are you sure that this is definitely
the right way to Halinka's?
Mrs. Halina to you.
What is this about anyway?
-About my dearest treasure. -What treasure?
You bamboozled my Halina and made a cuckold out of me.
The whole village is laughing at me 'cause she left me at the altar!
I'm a victim, too!
She didn't say a word about being engaged.
Would you be so kind as to hold this?
She made me fall in love with her,
and then she dumped me like a piece of trash.
Here!
Where the spa house is
Maxi Kaz goes a-huntin'
I came all the way from Świętokrzyskie to talk to her, and she turned me down.
…chance today…
-She turned you down? -Precisely! She told me to leave.
So I left, but near Kielce, I realized I shouldn't give her up without a fight.
So I came back to fight for her.
But she's mine!
I know that now!
I don't want to die in a foreign land!
I don't know how it is in Świętokrzyskie. I haven't travelled much.
But here, in Podlasie,
boys don't cry.
I'll pull you out with a horse.
Needs salt.
Your mom made the cheese base.
According to Grandma, your mom always did everything wrong.
I was joking. The base is very tasty.
-Not true. I always supported you. -Yeah?
And what did you say when I wanted to go to art school?
That I'll end up jobless.
'Cause I dreamed that you'd be a farmer,
with a degree,
and we'd start a huge company, manufacturing professional cheese, eh?
But that wasn't my dream, Mom.
Everyone has their own.
Halina!
Where? Here! Oh, here she is. I think. In the cheese deary…
The cheese dairy.
There.
"Halina"?
You should be ashamed
to show up in front of the children in such a state.
You should be the one who's ashamed, Halina!
You chewed us both up like a praying mantis.
Julian,
I didn't expect this from you.
-Get out of here. -Stop, Halina!
I'm talking now.
You're a Bodźki "femme fatal."
Fatale.
That too.
-Femme fatale. -Yes.
That's all we have to say.
Never trust a woman
That's my good advice
Nothing worse in this world
Could ever happen to us
-Femme fatale. -Watch your mouth!
Never trust a woman Don't give…
-Mom? -What now, you two?
Neither one of you said anything in defense of your mother and grandmother.
We have more important things to discuss.
Grandma, this land is your family legacy.
-How do you know about that? -You can't sell it.
I won't ask anyone to pay my debts.
I tried to plug these financial holes with cheese, but… Wojtek doesn't know…
What doesn't he know?
That I took out another payday loan.
So how deep in debt are you, Mom?
-Seventy. -Thousand?
-Maybe we'll think of something. -Right.
There's still a lot of time until the end of the month.
-Yes, Grandma. -Right.
That's a good, long while. Plenty of time.
-Loads of time. -Lots.
-Halina's pretty heavy. -Yeah.
So, shall we turn Halina into an alien?
No, I can't do it!
Then why did we drag her here?
The mind is willing, but the heart won't allow.
Love!
-I, too, have been struck by love. -Well, that's something to celebrate.
Even if it's forbidden love?
If your heart's intentions are pure, all love is good.
Wait, what if she's not single?
She is.
She's perfect.
Since I first saw you
I can't eat, I can't sleep
The melody's a bit weird.
It's a heartfelt interpretation.
Hold on. I've heard that somewhere before.
In church?
'Cause of your eyes, your green eyes
I know! At the pilgrimage!
The stars must have given them
Their shine
The heart is starved for love…
-What is it? -We've got a crisis situation.
We need Jan.
Halina's selling off the family land.
We can't let that happen.
FOR SALE
Looks kinda pitiful.
Louise, we could use some color, eh?
Looking for something, Mom?
Just paint.
My God, child, are all your earthly possessions in this bag?
I have nothing to go back to, Mom.
I trusted the wrong guy again.
I told you so many times.
You were right, Mom.
There's no reason for you
to be proud of me.
You're my only daughter.
Mom, I've let you down. I haven't achieved anything in my life.
I'm sorry.
Ewa!
Ewa, honey!
Ewa!
Halinka, it's me.
Ah, I can't deal with you now, Julian. Leave me alone.
Halinka, I come in peace. I want to make you a proposal.
-Probably an indecent one. Forget it. -No, a business offer.
I'd just like to buy your family's land.
With cash?
Indeed.
But I need
seventy… seventy-five thousand.
I can afford it.
I'll take the hit. I just need to break a deposit.
But I can do that in Białystok.
We could complete the formalities tomorrow.
Well, now that's a proposal, Julian!
Halinka, will you show me your…
land?
Julian.
Wojtek.
Where's Jan?
I'm looking for Jan.
What does he have that I don't?
Julian is buying Halina's meadow.
-What? -They went to see the family land.
We welcomed him with open arms,
and he's worming his way into Halina's good graces.
-That Świętokrzyskie bastard! -We have to tell Jan everything.
It'll crush him.
I'll talk to Jan.
Are you sure you're the right person?
It'll be better if he hears about this mess from me.
I'll be back.
Deal.
I'll walk you back.
No.
I'll go alone and cool down a bit.
Fair enough.
Congratulations!
You startled me. I thought it was some lost alien.
I saw a stork.
Storks spread good news in Bodźki.
I'm so happy our community is gaining a resident of such high standing.
I'm very pleased to hear that.
After that mess with Jan,
I was afraid my investment in Halinka's land wouldn't go over well.
No!
I'm actually impressed you haven't given up on Halina.
You're paving the way to her heart through the land.
Respect.
In Podlasie, it's tradition for someone who buys our land
to drink to the health of the people of Bodźki.
After yesterday, I won't even smell alcohol for a month.
It's an infusion! Herbal. Local. Traditional. From Podlasie.
You do wish Halina well, right? And on Kupala Night, no less.
You celebrate pagan rites here?
Traditional.
You want to be one of us? You have to honor tradition.
Fourteen more sips.
How many?
It's a tradition.
Wait!
Have you talked to Wojtek?
About what?
Julian is buying Halina's family land.
What?
How much further to where I'm staying? We've been walking for an hour.
Maybe the herbs are slowing down time. Another sip?
No!
Why aren't you drinking?
It's only for those who buy land from us.
Besides, it gives me heartburn.
Fireflies. Our local, Podlasie aliens.
Probably looking for people to experiment on.
Look at those Martians, sending their probes.
Julian?
Julian!
Dammit.
No.
Julian!
"Jan."
No. I have to say it more enthusiastically, right?
Hold on. Let's change it.
"Dear Jan, I wanted to thank you so much
for those aliens you brought down for me."
"And forgive me for losing my temper sometimes, 'cause…"
Oh.
'Cause what? Right. "I got that from my daddy."
Hold on. Let's start again.
-"Dear Jan--" -Halina.
I was just coming to see you, 'cause I wanted to say thank you for--
You must really hold me in low regard
if you're steamrolling over my feelings like this.
Me?
You brought your would-be lover from Świętokrzyskie to Bodźki.
But Julian's intentions are pure.
He's buying my meadow 'cause I'm having financial problems.
Halina! You're so naive. He just wants to--
I couldn't shut you up any other way.
Halina…
Halina! Jan!
He… There… I got… Yeah?
He got… I did…
I lost Julian in the forest.
Your timing's rotten!
-What? -I lost him in the woods.
I don't want to be kidnapped for spare parts.
Here kitty, kitty.
May our children grow in good health.
May Halina and Jan be together forever.
In health and happiness. And may they pay off their loans.
And may our Bodźki prosper.
And may all prosper on Kupala Night.
-May all prosper. -May all prosper.
Oliwka! Wojtek!
Julian, that big guy, with the free booze. Have you seen him?
-No. -No one has.
What would we be doing with him?
I wanted to help Jan scare off his rival from Bodźki,
so I gave him that herbal infusion, the one you gave me for inspiration.
-Didn't you mess up the proportions? -What?
No!
Wojtuś.
I wanted it to work.
We all need to look for Julian. Come on!
-Okay. -Fine.
Right. Romek and Ela, you check the forest behind the hamlet.
Good. Zbyszek and Wiesia, the fields behind the settlement.
Behind.
Go see. You go by the river.
-We'll check in the village. -Village.
-Wojtek. -Here.
Wojtek, check Julian's place in Bodźki.
Right. I mean where he's staying. Where's he going?
Julian!
Halina.
Can you tell me
why you seduced Julian?
I heard
you telling the brothers-in-law
that marrying me would be a mistake.
Couldn't you have eavesdropped longer?
I was worried that marrying me would be a mistake for you.
I mean,
you're such a wonderful woman, and I'm…
just a humble village sculptor.
Where was I supposed to look? I forgot in all this stress.
-Where Julian's staying! -Sorry!
Julian!
Ewa, have you seen Julian? We're all looking for him.
Damn. He's not…
What's wrong?
Are you sad? Ewcia!
My life's a mess again.
That made it possible for us to find each other.
Stop fooling around.
I'm not. I'm in love with you.
We're a good fit. I, too, am a loser.
And my life's a mess, too.
Wojtuś, you're a great guy.
You have a passion. You're quite handsome…
Yeah?
And I'm sure that the girl of your dreams is waiting for you out there somewhere.
But that's not me.
No one's waiting for me.
Nothing's going my way, neither in music nor in love.
Love will find you on its own.
At least there's that.
My friend from New York.
From the gallery?
Hello?
-Julian! -Julian!
Julian!
-Oh, locals! -Go and ask them.
Excuse me. We got lost.
We're looking for the legendary Martian crop circles. Are they here?
People, I must inform you
that there are no Martians here,
and there never were!
I promised you aliens.
You should be ashamed, making the little one cry like that.
This man is telling the truth.
-No, he's not! -Come on.
I'm sorry, but did those crop circles make themselves?
I made them!
Yeah, right! Man, you can clearly tell they were done with a precise laser.
This guy's a fraud.
Aliens were here.
I saw them
with my own eyes last night.
-Why lie to people? -Believe it if you want to.
Circles are that way.
-Julian. -Julian.
-Was that so hard? -Julian.
It's so good to see you alive and well.
Even though you tried to steal Halina from me
and seize her family's land.
And I was punished for it.
I'm very sorry. I truly am very sorry, but Podlasie is too much for my nerves.
I want to go back to Kielce!
Are you up to something again?
I am.
What's this spectacle, huh?
I'll buy your land, Halina. You can't stop me.
Jan, you don't have any money.
But I do!
I sold my sculptures in a gallery all the way in New York.
Yeah. They discovered an artist in me, thanks to Ewunia.
Yup.
Now you have to marry Jan to get the family land back.
What's mine is yours, Halina.
I don't deserve any of this.
Thank you.
-"Love Will Save the Day!" -You always have something clever to add.
It's the title of my new single.
-Go. -Ewa.
This
will be your land now.
We'll build a house with the brothers-in-law.
A small one, but yours. Yes.
You'll have your place on earth.
Thank you.
Ewa, you're wonderful.
Love will save the day!
-Ewa… -What about me?
You'll stay with us.
Everything will be okay.
-You said you were hungry. -Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's good.
-It tastes bland. -Sweet blueberries.
I've lost my sense of taste.
I couldn't taste a thing while pregnant with Ewcia.
Same with me and Oliwka. Remember, Mom?
Oliwka?
-You're pregnant! -We're gonna have a baby.
Oh, damn.
Another Madej is coming.
Another Madej.
No. Wolak.
-Madej. -Madej.
-I love you. -And I love you.
Boys, hurry!
RECTORY
The young couple's waiting.
The groom's gone, and I don't know where the collection plate is.
It's ready.
I never forget the collection plate.
This is my girlfriend.
I know. You already told me, Wojtuś.
Right.
Jan's not here.
He probably changed his mind. No wonder.
No one would dare marry such a ha--
Such a headstrong, iron-willed personality.
I'm here!
I'm here. Your favorite flowers.
Save the obscenities for your wedding night.
Let's begin!
Wait!
How about if the youngsters…
get married at the same time as us, huh?
We're gonna be great-grandparents.
And we'll be grandparents.
Bravo!
-Oh, my. -Bravo!
-Awesome. -What great news.
So is someone getting married, or not?
-Yes, we are. -And we are!
-And we are!
Oh, my beloved sweetheart We've waited so long
Despite all the people Who claimed we weren't strong
Subtitle translation by: Filip Bernard Karbowiak