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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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There's a rhythm in Detroit,

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been there forever.

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Back when jazz
spilled into the streets at 2:00 a.m.

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When Motown's heartbeat was Berry,

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Stevie, Aretha, Marvin, Diana,
and The Supremes.

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That rhythm, it never left.

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And that's fly.

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For me, "fly" is unapologetic
and needs no endorsement.

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It's chandelier bright
and chandelier strong.

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First time I touched Detroit was '78.

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I was a kid on a visit.

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Now, I'm a woman on a mission.

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Detroit, I'm back.

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I am Sommore, and this is Chandelier Fly.

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Detroit!

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What up, though?

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Loving this.

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I am absolutely loving it!

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Man, y'all giving me some love.
I love that.

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Yeah.

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Love this.

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I like that. Thank y'all.

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Yes.

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Listen, y'all giving me that real love.

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Y'all giving me
that Frankie Beverly love out here.

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I like that.

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Yes, indeed.

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Listen, I personally think that
Frankie Beverly's song "Before I Let Go"

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should be the new Black national anthem.

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I do.

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Whenever 50 or more
Black people get together,

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we should have to sing that shit.

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That's right,
and for the white people in the house

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that don't understand
what I'm talking about,

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"Before I Let Go" by Frankie Beverly is
equivalent to y'all's "Sweet Caroline."

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Y'all giving me
the Frankie Beverly love out here.

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This is… Yeah!

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And you gotta admit, listen,
Frankie was a vibe.

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Frankie was a whole vibe.

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And Black people
all over the country love Frankie Beverly.

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We love Frankie so much,

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we knew two years
before Frankie passed that he wasn't 100%.

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But we still went to the show

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and sang all the songs for Frankie.

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You laid out your white shit,

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you went to the show,
and sang the damn songs.

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Keep it real, we gave Frankie Beverly
the Luther Vandross pass.

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That's right.

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Let me tell you something,
Black people love Luther Vandross.

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It ain't a motherfucker in here over 40
that would admit that Luther was gay.

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Luther could show up
in concert in a full gown.

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We'd be sitting in that bitch like,

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"They must've lost his luggage
at the airport."

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We'd never admit that Luther was gay.

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Even if somebody pressed it, we'd be like,
"What the fuck that got to do with it?"

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See, Black love, you defend Black love.

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Listen, when you love Black artists,
you defend that shit.

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Like one time,
I had to defend Usher's outfit.

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Usher did a show.

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Usher showed up with a blouse, a brooch,

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and some church lady gloves on.

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And I was fucked up.

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I ain't gonna lie, I was fucked up.

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First of all, I'm old enough

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to know the difference
between a shirt and a blouse.

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Usher had on a motherfucking blouse.

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And I was fucked up.

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And here's the thing,
it really wasn't a blouse.

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'Cause I think
I seen Al Green once or twice

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with a blouse on back in the day.

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But it was the blouse, the brooch,
and the church lady glove combination

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that had me fucked up.

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I'm sitting there like,

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"Why the fuck is Usher
dressed like one of the Golden Girls?"

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What the fuck is going on?

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And here's the thing, I love Usher.

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Never ever for one day ever,
still to this day,

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do I ever think that Usher was gay.

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But whoever picked out that blouse
is gay as a bitch.

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'Cause you ain't never seen
no homeboy say no shit like this.

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"Nigga go with the blouse."

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Ain't no homeboy suggesting no blouse.

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But Usher had on a motherfucking blouse.

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And I'mma tell you why I defended it.

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'Cause I personally think

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that Usher is
our modern day Billy Dee Williams.

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I do. Listen,
y'all remember Billy Dee Williams?

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Listen, I'm looking around the room.

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00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,405
Most of the people here are
old enough to know

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who the fuck Billy Dee Williams is.

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And my grandmother and my mother
love some Billy Dee Williams.

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Listen, Billy Dee Williams
was the most smooth, charismatic Black man

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on TV you ever wanna see.

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-His skin was cocoa brown.
-Yes!

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He had a voice
was deep and sexy and smooth.

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He had an Afro,
that bitch was dry, but it was wet,

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but it was curly at the same goddamn time.

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We had never seen no shit like that.

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-Billy Dee Williams was the shit.
-Yeah!

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And as smooth as Billy Dee Williams was,

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you would think
that he would be the face of like a

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cognac or brandy or champagne.

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But Billy Dee Williams was the face

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of some of the cheapest shit
you could buy.

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Colt 45.

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Malt liquor.

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If you drink that shit hot,
you'll fight everybody in this bitch.

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And my grandmother loved him.

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And because my grandmother loved him,
my granddaddy couldn't stand his ass.

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My granddaddy didn't like him so much,

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he only drank half a can
and threw the rest of the shit away.

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Like, "Fuck that man."

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But that's how I look at Usher,
like our Billy Dee Williams.

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And we give him love.
Listen, we give him Black love.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I've been doing
stand-up comedy for over 30 years.

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Yes, 30 years.

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I get love.

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Let me tell you something.
I know what Black love is.

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I travel this country,
and Black people love me.

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When I tell you Black people love me,
they love me. They really do.

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I don't care what city I'm in,

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if I'm in the hood
and I go to any McDonald's

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and they know it's me,

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oh, they gonna put a Filet-O-Fish
in the bag, bitch.

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They gonna up the nuggets
and throw a Filet-O-Fish in the bag.

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That's just what it is. That's what it is.

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I'm telling y'all.
Y'all should see when them kids see me.

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They lose their motherfucking mind.

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They be like, "My mama love you."

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"My mama love you."

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"My mama love you.
You want a pie? You want a pie?"

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I'm like, "Don't lose your job
over no apple pie, nigga, now."

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"Don't get McFired
in this bitch showing off."

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But I, listen, I know what Black love is.

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I really do.

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But I learned something.

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I learned that
when it comes to Black people…

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See, not only do we love hard,
but we love you so hard,

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even when you transcend,
we love you even more.

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But I learned something with Black people.

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I learned that you can die
at the wrong time.

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Oh, yeah, you can fuck around
and die at the wrong time.

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Look what happened to Tito Jackson.

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Tito Jackson died right after Frankie

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and right before Puffy got locked up.

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You ain't seen shit about Tito's funeral.

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You ain't seen no pictures of the repast.

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You ain't seen Katherine
broke down crying.

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You ain't seen Janet in all black.

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Motherfuckers try to act like
they ain't even know who Tito was.

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The morning Tito died,
I went to my little cousin.

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I was like, "Yo, Tito died this morning."

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My little cousin was like,
"Oh no, not the dog from The Wiz."

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I said, "Bitch, that's Toto."

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"I'm talking about Tito.
Tito, Michael's brother. Tito."

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She was like…

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She didn't even know
Michael had a brother.

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I said, "Goddamn,
Tito died at the wrong time."

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Then I went to my uncle,

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and I know he old enough
to know who the fuck Tito is.

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I was like,
"Dude, we lost Tito this morning."

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He was like, "I'mma be honest with you.
I'm more of a Grey Goose man myself.

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"I don't really fuck with Tito like that."

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I'm like, "Nigga, Tito,
Marlon, Jermaine, jumpsuits, afro."

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"Nigga, you know who the fuck Tito is."

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I said, "Goddamn,
Tito died at the wrong time."

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Know who else died at the wrong time?

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Farrah Fawcett Majors, the actress.

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Farrah Fawcett Majors died
the same day as Michael Jackson.

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Come on, bitch,
now you know you can't fuck with Mike.

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You should've held on
one more day, bitch, come on.

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You was already an angel.

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You was one of Charlie's angels.
Just hold on one more day.

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She died the same day as Michael Jackson.

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They say they couldn't even find
a funeral home to take the body.

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Say people was answering the phone like,
"Farrah who?"

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"Beat it, bitch, we waiting on
Mike people to call. Get off our phone."

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Listen, death is inevitable,

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and we will all leave here one day.

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And we should all wish
for a smooth transition.

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But I'mma keep it real.

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One of the smoothest people
I ever seen leave this bitch

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was OJ Simpson.

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Let me tell you--
Some of y'all looking like, "OJ died?"

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Listen, OJ left this bitch smooth.

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I ain't never seen nobody
leave this bitch smooth like OJ.

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So here's how it went down.

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Two weeks before OJ passed,

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it was a rumor out
that OJ had cancer and he was in hospice.

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That motherfucker went live.
OJ went live from a golf course.

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He logged in on Instagram.

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He was like, "Hey, hey, hey."

195
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,486
"What's this shit I hear about

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00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,921
people saying I'm sick
and I'm in hospice?"

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"I'm out here on the golf course
having a great game."

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That motherfucker logged off Instagram

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00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,597
and was dead
before that shit hit Facebook.

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00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,034
I said, "Goddamn, he was gone. Smooth."

201
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:11,637
Yeah.

202
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:13,272
Gone.

203
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,511
I'm one of those people,
I try to keep up with all the latest shit.

204
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,780
I really do.
I try to keep up with all the latest shit.

205
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,648
But some of it I missed.

206
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,484
I'm ashamed to say
that I am probably one of the only people

207
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:29,021
who did not get any
of the subliminal messages

208
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:32,825
in Kendrick Lamar's
halftime Super Bowl performance.

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00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,728
Listen, I ain't gonna lie to y'all,
I didn't get none of that shit.

210
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:36,696
None of it.

211
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,397
And I'mma keep it real with y'all.

212
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,099
He fucked me up at the outfit.

213
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:43,769
That motherfucker came out,
he had bell-bottom hip-huggers

214
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,705
with a dick print in the front.

215
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,609
I was confused like a motherfucker.
Like, "What?"

216
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:55,181
And I ain't know Kendrick was that thick.

217
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,615
I ain't have my glasses on.

218
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:59,585
I thought it was Stephanie Mills at first.
I'm like, "Goddamn."

219
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,055
"I ain't know Stephanie Mills
was on the goddamn show."

220
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:11,497
By the time I went and got my glasses
and came back, all that shit was over.

221
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,665
I was like, "Fuck it."

222
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,333
I missed the shit.

223
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,637
Y'all ain't know Kendrick was that thick.

224
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:20,940
I ain't know
Kendrick was that goddamn thick.

225
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,180
And the young people,
listen, the young people was mad.

226
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,449
They was mad 'cause you know
they took that shit serious.

227
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,052
My little cousin's like,
"You ain't get none of the subliminals?"

228
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,221
Listen, the young people
dissected that shit,

229
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,456
analyzed that shit, broke it down,

230
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,325
got all the subliminal messages.

231
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,993
I'm like, "Y'all did all that shit,

232
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,096
but skimmed over Project 2025, though."

233
00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:48,367
Didn't read none of that shit.

234
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,572
And here we are.

235
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,075
Trump 2.5.

236
00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:58,844
Oh, Trump running this bitch.

237
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:00,679
Trump running this bitch.

238
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:02,515
And one thing I can tell y'all,

239
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,117
he doing everything
he said he was gonna do.

240
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,853
He doing everything
he said he was gonna do.

241
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,056
What did Trump say
he was going to do day one?

242
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,391
Trump, day one, Trump said,

243
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,227
"If you are not a citizen
of the United States of America,

244
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,196
you getting the fuck up out of here."

245
00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,799
I don't know if y'all paying attention,
but guess what?

246
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,468
They getting the fuck up out of here.

247
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,436
Oh, bitch,
they getting the fuck up out of here.

248
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:28,140
And if I was you,
I'd keep my birth certificate on me.

249
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,443
But they ain't moving anybody.

250
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,813
They moving everybody out this bitch.

251
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,518
And women,
I don't know why y'all walk around here

252
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,854
still with all this international hair.

253
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:46,292
You gonna be at the border
trying to explain that shit to somebody.

254
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:49,328
"No, I'm American. The hair is Malaysian."

255
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,930
"I'm not Malaysian."

256
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:55,301
"The hair is Malaysian.
I'm-- I'm from America."

257
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,069
"Wait, call my mama."

258
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,405
"Mom, you need to bring my receipt."

259
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:00,973
"Come down…" Shit.

260
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,311
Ain't no time to be fucking around
with that right now.

261
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:08,981
Bitch, I won't even wear a bang right now
'cause that's Chinese.

262
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:12,351
I'm like, "Uh-uh, bitch.
Just give me forehead right now, aight?"

263
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,353
Ain't no time
to be fucking around out here.

264
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:19,325
What I'm trying to tell y'all,

265
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:23,229
this might be y'all's last month
getting a manicure pedicure.

266
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:27,099
You might be doing them bitches
yourself next month.

267
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,603
Sitting at home like back in the day.

268
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,176
Oh, they getting the fuck up out of here.

269
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,882
And what else Trump say?
What else he said?

270
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,150
Trump said in the next four years,

271
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:48,387
we will only acknowledge two genders.

272
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,589
That's male and female.

273
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:54,393
All that other shit
we were doing in between, uh-uh.

274
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,563
Trump said we building a wall
and a closet.

275
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,032
You gonna get your ass
back in the goddamn closet.

276
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,600
Oh yeah.

277
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,938
Get your ass back in the goddamn closet.

278
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,376
And I got a cousin that's a dyke.

279
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:12,778
I'm talking about a dyke dyke,
a real dyke.

280
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,513
With a dick with a dyke.

281
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,850
I said, "Bitch, you better get you
a ponytail and some wedges

282
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,586
and blend in with us
till this shit die down."

283
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,556
Ain't no time to be showing out right now.

284
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,429
This is real shit.

285
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,165
Listen, this is
what stand-up comedy is all about.

286
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,302
You talk about real shit.

287
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:40,406
And sometimes the shit be so bad,
you gotta laugh to get to the other side.

288
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,740
I'm serious.

289
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,977
You gotta laugh to get to the other side.

290
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:51,483
I've never been a political person.
I never used to even care about politics.

291
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,352
But I'm paying attention now.

292
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,220
Oh, bitch, I'm paying attention.

293
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,089
I even watched the inauguration.

294
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,591
I ain't know we was boycotting the shit.
I ain't know Black pe--

295
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,860
My cousin was like,
"Bitch, you wasn't supposed to watch."

296
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,229
Well, ain't nobody tell me not to watch.

297
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,398
I ended up watching the inauguration.

298
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,034
And I'mma tell you some weird shit.
I thought it was weird.

299
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,804
They had eight prayers
during the inauguration.

300
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,572
They prayed eight times.

301
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,575
Trump didn't close his eyes not one time.

302
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,812
He was praying just like this
on every prayer.

303
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,248
He ain't close his eyes not one time.

304
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:25,818
But I don't blame him.

305
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:28,053
'Cause if a bitch tried to kill me
two times in one year,

306
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,389
I ain't closing my eyes in public either.

307
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,395
And I'mma keep it real with y'all.

308
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:41,266
One of the reasons I really tuned in
was to see what Melania was gonna have on.

309
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,536
'Cause come on now,
Melania be sharp as a motherfucker.

310
00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:47,406
Oh, she do that. Oh, she do that shit.

311
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:48,474
She do that.

312
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,743
And she did not disappoint.

313
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:53,779
Melania sat in that bitch
with her hat down this low.

314
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,615
This bitch sat there for three hours.

315
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,585
I said,
"This bitch high as a motherfucker."

316
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,086
Come on now.

317
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:04,156
Would you just sit somewhere
with a hat this low for three hours?

318
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,426
She didn't look left.
She didn't look right.

319
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:10,229
Trump tried to kiss that bitch.
She leaned up and sat back.

320
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:14,900
I said, "Yeah,
she high as a motherfucker."

321
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:21,273
Michelle didn't show up,
and everybody went off.

322
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,308
They was like,
"Ooh, Michelle didn't even show up."

323
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,910
"Michelle didn't even show up."

324
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,679
I didn't think it was a big deal
that Michelle didn't show up.

325
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,481
I'mma tell you
what I thought was shocking.

326
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,885
I was shocked
she let Barack go by his self.

327
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:37,456
'Cause let's be clear,
Barack is fine as a motherfucker.

328
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,359
And bitches be at Barack.

329
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,295
And what I was really shocked about is

330
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:47,566
usually you don't see bow-legged niggas
out by they self after 8:00.

331
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:51,870
Come on now, women know bow-legged niggas
don't be out by they self after 8:00.

332
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,406
Knock-kneed niggas be everywhere.

333
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,942
They be all over your shit in the club.

334
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,378
Goddamn, get the fuck off.

335
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,814
"Know what I'm sayin', what I'm sayin'…"

336
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,015
"Nigga, no."

337
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:09,321
But you don't see bow-legged niggas
out by they self after 8:00.

338
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:11,924
So I was shocked.

339
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,762
Now look at knock-kneed niggas,
they done got mad.

340
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:20,432
They sitting here like,
"Don't knock it till you try."

341
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,506
But listen, Trump say he changing shit up.

342
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:29,007
And we don't know if it's gonna work.

343
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:30,843
We don't know
if it's for the best or worst.

344
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,511
We just riding this shit out.

345
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,813
Trump changing up all kind of shit.

346
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,983
Motherfucker trying to--
He getting rid of Section 8.

347
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,686
Motherfucker-- Yeah. Section 8.

348
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,354
Medicare.

349
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,358
Might get rid of Social Security.

350
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,629
Trump done went as so far to say next year
he getting rid of daylight savings.

351
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,232
Bitch, it's gonna be dark
at 3:30 next year.

352
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:54,933
Done.

353
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:57,436
Done with it.

354
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,841
And here's the thing,
he don't even wanna be president.

355
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,644
He really wanna be king of this bitch.
He do.

356
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,279
He really wanna be king.

357
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:10,516
He trying shit
that has never been done before.

358
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,117
Trump told them motherfuckers,

359
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,987
"I want my picture on a $200 bill."

360
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:18,290
They was like, "Uh, Mr. President,
there is no $200 bill."

361
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,859
He said, "We gonna make a $200 bill,

362
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,495
and we gonna put my picture
on the motherfucker."

363
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,500
They said, "Well, Mr. President,
only deceased presidents are on currency."

364
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,636
I said, "Don't stop him. Let him cook."

365
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,804
"Let him cook. Let him cook."

366
00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:34,640
"Let him cook."

367
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:41,146
'Cause he doing shit
we ain't never seen before.

368
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:44,082
And listen, we laughing, but listen,
people going through some tough times.

369
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,551
'Cause people are losing their jobs.

370
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:47,853
There's a lot of people
that have lost their jobs.

371
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,889
We going through some tough times.
You got to remember this in tough times.

372
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,624
Even when you're going
through tough times,

373
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,793
tough times don't last for long.

374
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:59,131
And understand
that there's always somebody out there

375
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,800
that's doing worse off than yourself.

376
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,335
If it makes you feel any better,

377
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,505
I got a girlfriend of mine,
she having such a rough time,

378
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:09,341
she selling pussy,
and she don't even like dick.

379
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:16,114
So if you think you got it rough,

380
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,719
this bitch be crying
taking her drawers off like…

381
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,600
Now he running shit his way.

382
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,201
He doing shit his way.

383
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,370
He pardoned all the Proud Boys.

384
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,639
Let all the Proud Boys out of jail.

385
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,208
Pardon all the Proud Boys.
Drop the charges, let them out of jail.

386
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,210
Now y'all know
who the Proud Boys are, right?

387
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:47,913
The people that's responsible
for the insurrection,

388
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,682
that stormed the Capitol in D.C.,
climbed the walls and shit.

389
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,384
He pardoned them, let 'em all out of jail.

390
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:54,253
I'm like,
"Okay, you let the Proud Boys out."

391
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:57,422
"What about the Nasty Boys?
Let the Nasty Boys out."

392
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,726
Y'all know who the Nasty Boys are.

393
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,428
R. Kelly, P. Diddy, and Mystikal.

394
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,498
Here I go.

395
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:15,040
We laughing,
but they ain't got to our shit yet.

396
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,743
We just out here popping fans and shit,

397
00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:21,580
wearing cowboy boots
in the summertime and shit.

398
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,515
But we just showing the fuck out.

399
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:27,119
We can--
Listen, we can turn out any goddamn thing.

400
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,289
Black people done took
the old country do-si-do

401
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:31,890
and added ass to it.

402
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,258
Rah! Rah! Rah!

403
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,961
You know the people wasn't doing that shit
before we came.

404
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,697
They done added ass to the do-si-do.

405
00:21:39,197 --> 00:21:40,866
Rah! Rah! Rah!

406
00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:46,838
Where them fans at? Rah!

407
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,045
See, they done added ass to the do-si-do.

408
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,151
But we gotta pay attention. 'Cause
I don't know if y'all paying attention,

409
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:02,254
but they're trying to erase
our total existence.

410
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,222
They really are.
Have y'all paid attention?

411
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:07,526
Like, they are no longer teaching
Black history in the schools.

412
00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:09,528
No longer teaching Black history
in the schools.

413
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:10,862
So here we are.

414
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:13,098
If Black history is important
to Black people,

415
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,567
we gotta teach our children ourselves.

416
00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:16,835
That's where we are.

417
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:23,141
That's right. If our history is important
to Black people,

418
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,143
we have to teach our children ourselves.

419
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,879
I personally think
all teaching should start at home,

420
00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:30,382
whether it's hygiene, etiquette, manners,

421
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,217
and now Black history.

422
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:34,753
If it's important to us,
we have to teach our children at home.

423
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:36,822
Now, I could be a little bit biased

424
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,758
because when I was growing up,
my father was an English professor.

425
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:42,861
My father taught English,
and he was a Black history teacher.

426
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:45,297
So one thing-- Yeah.

427
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:50,202
One thing, he stressed
that we knew our Black history.

428
00:22:50,268 --> 00:22:52,337
As a matter of fact,
he'd play little games with us,

429
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:53,472
just so we could remember.

430
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:55,707
He'd play little games.
Whenever we would sit at dinner,

431
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:58,510
he would name all the food
after Black leaders.

432
00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:00,312
So we'd sit there
and he'd say something like,

433
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,148
"Hand me
the Martin Luther King fried chicken."

434
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:06,051
"Hand me the Harriet Tubman
macaroni and cheese."

435
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:08,253
"And hand me the Marcus Garvey meatloaf."

436
00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:11,957
My little brother didn't understand

437
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:14,292
how all the food
was named after Black leaders,

438
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,561
but the refrigerator was still white.

439
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:18,997
So, when we'd put the food
in the refrigerator,

440
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:22,033
he'd stand in front of the refrigerator
talking about, "Let my people go."

441
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,603
I'm like, "Nigga, it's over."

442
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:27,139
Once the food hit the refrigerator,
it's over.

443
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,277
But it's true.

444
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:33,512
Listen, if our history,

445
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:36,782
if it's important to you now,
teach our children.

446
00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:39,918
Because if we allow America
to teach our children our history,

447
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:41,353
they gonna fuck it up.

448
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,088
Listen, they gonna fuck it up.

449
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,490
They gonna add shit
that don't belong there.

450
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,726
They gonna mix the stories around.

451
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:49,995
I can clearly see a little girl

452
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,664
go to her mother in the future
and say something like this.

453
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:56,968
"So, ma, ma, ma,
is it true that back in the day,

454
00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,504
it was an actress
by the name of Jada Pinkett

455
00:23:59,571 --> 00:24:02,340
who refused to move
to the back of the bus?"

456
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:06,244
"And when she was on the bus, all her
and her girls went and robbed a bank."

457
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,381
"And they shot up the bus,
and everybody died."

458
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:13,051
We'll be sitting there like,
"Hold, hold, hold, hold on."

459
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,986
"I know goddamn well

460
00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:18,356
they ain't put Rosa Parks
in the movie Set It Off."

461
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:20,992
Yes.

462
00:24:21,059 --> 00:24:23,495
They will fuck it up. They'll fuck it up.

463
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:30,135
And listen, when you tell your children
about our history,

464
00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:34,105
do not leave out the highlights.

465
00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:36,908
Oh yeah, 'cause Black people,
we got some motherfucking highlights.

466
00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:39,277
Do not leave out the highlights.

467
00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:45,383
Like when Will Smith slapped the shit
out of Chris Rock live on TV.

468
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,119
And I know y'all don't like
to bring that up.

469
00:24:48,186 --> 00:24:50,655
But he slapped the fuck out of Chris Rock.

470
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:54,626
He slapped him so hard,
he knocked the Fire Stick out of my TV.

471
00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:56,461
I was like, "Oh shit, hold on."

472
00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:57,796
Shit.

473
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:08,673
And you can't leave out the infamous

474
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:12,844
Katt Williams, Shannon Sharpe,
Club Shay Shay interview.

475
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:14,513
Come on now.

476
00:25:15,113 --> 00:25:16,748
Listen, say what you want.

477
00:25:16,815 --> 00:25:19,584
Katt Williams, Shannon Sharpe,
Club Shay Shay interview

478
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:21,486
shook up the stand-up comedy world.

479
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:22,821
It shook it up.

480
00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:27,959
Listen, Katt Williams did
a three-hour interview on Shannon Sharpe.

481
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:31,263
Shannon Sharpe only asked
that motherfucker one question.

482
00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:33,298
"How you doing?"

483
00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:36,835
And he went the fuck off.

484
00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:38,970
He went the fuck off.

485
00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:41,706
And it was a sniper situation.

486
00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:46,211
And I say a sniper situation
'cause in the shootout,

487
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,079
more than one person has a gun.

488
00:25:48,146 --> 00:25:52,250
In the shootout, you shoot, I shoot,
you shoot, I shoot, you shoot, I shoot.

489
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:56,454
But in the sniper situation,
only one motherfucker got a gun.

490
00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:59,858
And Katt Williams
was picking motherfuckers off.

491
00:25:59,925 --> 00:26:02,027
You didn't know who was gonna be next.

492
00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:05,830
First person out the gate
was Steve Harvey.

493
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:06,898
Ah!

494
00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:11,870
Katt Williams told the whole world
that Steve Harvey had on a hairpiece.

495
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:13,805
Pow! Shot the wig off that bitch.

496
00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:18,777
Then he flipped round and said
he was gonna punch Cedric the Entertainer

497
00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:19,811
in his big, fat belly.

498
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:22,714
Pow! Shot the belly button
off that motherfucker.

499
00:26:24,516 --> 00:26:26,217
Katt Williams told the whole world

500
00:26:26,284 --> 00:26:29,988
that Ludacris was in the Illuminati
and sucked dick to get in that.

501
00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:31,222
Pow!

502
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:33,425
Shot the lips off that bitch.

503
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:37,128
It was brutal.

504
00:26:38,229 --> 00:26:40,565
Listen, he was airing
that motherfucker out.

505
00:26:41,066 --> 00:26:44,002
He talked
about Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart,

506
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,705
Michael Blackson,
Faizon Love, you name it.

507
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:49,207
He was tearing their asses out the front.

508
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:54,312
And I ain't gonna lie, out of all
the people he talked shit about,

509
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,949
the one person I really felt bad for

510
00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:00,452
was the comedian Earthquake.

511
00:27:00,518 --> 00:27:01,786
Oh!

512
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:04,189
'Cause Katt Williams told the whole world

513
00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:06,291
that Earthquake couldn't read.

514
00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:10,762
Now, that's some cold-blooded shit.

515
00:27:11,663 --> 00:27:15,734
For you to put a Black man
on the can't-read list, come on now.

516
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:21,239
Especially, listen,
especially coming from our era.

517
00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:24,542
'Cause first of all, we all vowed
we would be better than our ancestors,

518
00:27:24,609 --> 00:27:26,611
so motherfucker, we know how to read.

519
00:27:26,678 --> 00:27:29,414
And we came up,
most of us came up during the time of

520
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:32,283
Conjunction, junction
What's your function?

521
00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,386
Motherfucker, we know how to read.

522
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:41,426
But that's some cold-blooded shit for you
to put a Black man on the can't-read list.

523
00:27:42,093 --> 00:27:44,996
Now here's the thing, I don't know
how white people handle shit,

524
00:27:45,597 --> 00:27:47,232
but as a Black person,

525
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:49,267
when a motherfucker say you can't read,

526
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,436
you got to prove to Black people
that you can read.

527
00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:53,872
That means, everywhere you go,

528
00:27:53,938 --> 00:27:56,908
soon as you hit the door,
you got to start reading.

529
00:27:57,542 --> 00:27:59,310
Soon as you walk in the barbershop,

530
00:27:59,377 --> 00:28:01,346
you stop, you be like, "Refreshments."

531
00:28:02,113 --> 00:28:04,015
"Potato chips, 35 cents."

532
00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:07,519
"Corn chips, 45 cents.
Pretzels, 35 cents."

533
00:28:07,585 --> 00:28:10,889
"Ladies room this way.
Men's room this way."

534
00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:12,190
You got to read.

535
00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:15,960
Get in there
and show motherfuckers you can read.

536
00:28:20,331 --> 00:28:22,500
Any funeral you go to, get on program,

537
00:28:22,567 --> 00:28:24,703
get up there and read
in front of the goddamn people.

538
00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,742
And I'm saying this, listen,

539
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,411
'cause it happened to a friend of mine.

540
00:28:33,478 --> 00:28:34,679
Happened to a friend of mine.

541
00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:37,115
Friend of mine ended up going to jail.

542
00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:39,150
Now I'm not sure why he went to jail,

543
00:28:40,251 --> 00:28:43,188
but some kind of way,
while he was in jail,

544
00:28:43,254 --> 00:28:45,990
he fucked around
and got on the can't-read list.

545
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:51,763
He was more upset about being
on the can't-read list than being in jail.

546
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:57,302
But he could not wait to come home
to prove to everybody that he could read.

547
00:28:58,436 --> 00:29:01,840
The morning of the day he was getting
out of jail, his sister called everybody.

548
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:04,042
She was like,
"Yo, my brother coming home this evening."

549
00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:06,478
"Why don't we meet up
at the restaurant and surprise him?"

550
00:29:06,544 --> 00:29:09,781
So we showed up
with a cake, balloons, a banner,

551
00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:13,251
bitches had roses,
and surprised him, right?

552
00:29:13,318 --> 00:29:15,386
He walked in the room,
everybody said, "Surprise."

553
00:29:15,453 --> 00:29:16,988
They was high-fiving, giving him hugs.

554
00:29:17,055 --> 00:29:19,157
They was crying and shit.
It was real emotional.

555
00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:21,826
But he wanted to prove
to everybody that he could read.

556
00:29:21,893 --> 00:29:23,561
So he ran over to the table.

557
00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:25,930
He picked up the menu.

558
00:29:25,997 --> 00:29:29,501
He was like, "I'mma order for everybody.
I'mma order for everybody."

559
00:29:31,035 --> 00:29:32,837
I said, "Ooh."

560
00:29:34,139 --> 00:29:36,207
"This gonna be expensive."

561
00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:39,210
Now, the only reason why
I said it's gonna be expensive,

562
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,012
'cause that's how it is in the hood.

563
00:29:41,079 --> 00:29:44,215
In the hood, if you ordered the shit,
that means you paying for the shit.

564
00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:47,218
So I said, "Ooh, this gonna be expensive."

565
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,586
But he didn't give a fuck.

566
00:29:48,653 --> 00:29:51,523
He was determined
to prove to us he could read.

567
00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:54,092
He ran over that bitch
and started ordering shit.

568
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:57,295
He was like, "Let me get six orders
of chicken quesadillas."

569
00:29:57,362 --> 00:30:01,266
I said, "Now this bitch
jumped out the gate with quesadilla."

570
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:06,204
Now y'all know quesadilla's
a tricky motherfucker, okay?

571
00:30:06,271 --> 00:30:08,973
'Cause first of all,
it don't look the way it sounds.

572
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,310
So bitch, you jazzy
to fuck with quesadilla, all right?

573
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:16,714
He started off, "Let me get six orders
of chicken quesadilla."

574
00:30:16,781 --> 00:30:18,616
He was like, "Let me get some calamari,

575
00:30:18,683 --> 00:30:20,485
let me get some strawberry daiquiris,

576
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:24,322
let me get some escargot,
and give me some jambalaya."

577
00:30:24,389 --> 00:30:26,424
Everybody was like, "Ooh."

578
00:30:26,925 --> 00:30:29,994
Only thing about it, bitch,
we was at Pizza Hut.

579
00:30:31,429 --> 00:30:33,565
Wasn't none of that shit on the menu.

580
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,307
I grabbed the menu from that motherfucker.

581
00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:45,777
I told the waiter, "Bring us
five pepperoni pizzas to get started."

582
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,645
"And bring this motherfucker
a coloring book

583
00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:49,380
so he can have something to do."

584
00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:53,985
You done set up in jail
and memorized the menu

585
00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:56,120
from the wrong goddamn restaurant.

586
00:30:57,222 --> 00:30:59,791
Ain't no goddamn jambalaya at Pizza Hut.

587
00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:03,695
Shannon was rolling for a minute.

588
00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:06,831
Listen, Shannon Sharpe had this bitch
on lock for a minute.

589
00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:10,301
All till he fucked around and caught a…

590
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:13,304
fucked around
and caught a little sex scandal.

591
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,474
But listen, that's the world
we living in right now.

592
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:18,610
This culture right here
ain't nothing but scandals.

593
00:31:18,676 --> 00:31:20,912
I'm telling y'all, this culture right now,

594
00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:23,548
these motherfuckers will sign an NDA
and write a book

595
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:25,783
with the same motherfucking ink pen.

596
00:31:25,850 --> 00:31:27,752
They ain't playing fair out this bitch.

597
00:31:28,653 --> 00:31:29,921
But I like a little sex scandal.

598
00:31:29,988 --> 00:31:32,590
I like when people have
little sex scandals.

599
00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:36,895
When motherfuckers have sex scandals,
you find out what they really like.

600
00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:40,064
See, people look one way on the outside,

601
00:31:40,131 --> 00:31:44,836
but when you find out all
the freaky little shit they really like,

602
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,771
that's what a sex scandal do for you.

603
00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:49,540
Just expose all your freaky little shit.

604
00:31:49,607 --> 00:31:50,975
And I like to play a little game.

605
00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:54,045
Most people look for the person's picture
and be like, "Oh, this what he did."

606
00:31:54,112 --> 00:31:57,682
Mm-mm.
I like to keep the picture for last.

607
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,351
I like to read all the little kinky shit,

608
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:03,421
then go back and look at the picture.

609
00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:05,089
Read all the little shit they did,

610
00:32:05,156 --> 00:32:08,192
then go back
and turn the page and be like, "Ah."

611
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:12,263
"This mister like
to sniff the bicycle seats

612
00:32:12,330 --> 00:32:15,233
at the gym when ain't nobody looking."

613
00:32:21,639 --> 00:32:25,944
Read all the little nasty shit,
turn the page and be like, "Ah!"

614
00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:29,981
"This the bitch that be pressing her box
up against the zucchinis

615
00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:32,450
in the produce section
when ain't nobody looking."

616
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,756
Listen, I'm a professional at it.

617
00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:43,628
I am.
I like to read all the little details,

618
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:47,799
and I can tell a little bit
about the victim when I read the details.

619
00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:50,168
Like in the Shannon Sharpe situation,

620
00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:54,339
I was able to tell early that it was
a young girl that he was messing with.

621
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:55,907
I could tell she was young.

622
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:59,644
First of all, I knew she wasn't
a grown woman like myself. Come on now.

623
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:02,113
I'm a full-grown German shepherd
out this bitch.

624
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,752
I could tell she was a young girl.

625
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,288
Here's the reason
why I could tell she was a young girl.

626
00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:13,458
'Cause when she was like, when they
was describing the shit she was saying,

627
00:33:13,524 --> 00:33:16,060
she was saying shit like,
"Ooh, I want you to give me a baby."

628
00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:18,129
"I want you to give me
one of them big Black babies."

629
00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:20,365
"I want you to give me a big Black baby."

630
00:33:20,431 --> 00:33:22,867
I was like, "Yeah, this a young girl."

631
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:27,572
Ain't no grown woman like myself
begging no 56-year-old man

632
00:33:27,638 --> 00:33:29,240
for no goddamn baby.

633
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:34,512
'Cause we already know what kind of baby
a 56-year-old man gonna give.

634
00:33:37,281 --> 00:33:41,552
Fuck on the spectrum,
that bitch going to lick the fence.

635
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,321
They going to lick the fence.

636
00:33:44,322 --> 00:33:47,625
Come on now, you seen them kids
that lick the goddamn fence.

637
00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:51,629
You be sitting out there talking about,
"Junior, you wanted a bike?"

638
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,231
"Ride the goddamn bike."

639
00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:55,400
"I bought you a bike.
You out here licking the fence."

640
00:33:55,466 --> 00:33:57,668
"Stop licking the goddamn fence."

641
00:34:00,304 --> 00:34:02,240
Ain't nothing wrong with Junior.

642
00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:05,343
Junior's daddy just old, that's all.

643
00:34:06,144 --> 00:34:08,613
He an old nut baby. Come on now.

644
00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:12,984
You done seen the old nut babies.

645
00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:19,424
When the young girl fuck around
and have a baby by the sugar daddy.

646
00:34:25,930 --> 00:34:27,698
She named him Brandon.

647
00:34:29,534 --> 00:34:32,904
Everybody be like, "I don't know
why the fuck she named that baby Brandon."

648
00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:35,273
"He look just like Mr. James."

649
00:34:39,210 --> 00:34:42,747
Brandon walking around here
with the "my daddy old" face.

650
00:34:43,981 --> 00:34:47,218
This bitch got
a receding hairline back here.

651
00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:51,155
He dressed like an insurance man
in the house vacuuming and shit.

652
00:34:52,023 --> 00:34:55,560
You be begging that bitch to go outside.
"Go outside, Brandon."

653
00:34:55,626 --> 00:34:57,195
"Go outside and play."

654
00:34:57,962 --> 00:34:59,330
Brandon's daddy old.

655
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,837
All the other kids want to go
to Chuck E. Cheese for their birthday.

656
00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:07,572
Brandon wanna go fishing.

657
00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:12,210
Goddamn, Brandon's daddy's old.

658
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:16,180
That's an old nut baby.
Come on now, you seen the old nut baby.

659
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:21,319
And I know what I'm talking about.

660
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:25,590
'Cause I'm what you call an old egg.

661
00:35:25,656 --> 00:35:27,024
That's an old egg.

662
00:35:27,091 --> 00:35:30,027
That's when a woman
have your kids later in life.

663
00:35:30,528 --> 00:35:34,765
Listen, the average childbearing years
is 17 to 27.

664
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:38,169
Anything after that,
you rolling the motherfucking dice.

665
00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:42,140
And when you roll the dice,
you don't know what you gonna get.

666
00:35:42,206 --> 00:35:44,942
Listen, my mother rolled the dice.
I am an old egg.

667
00:35:45,009 --> 00:35:47,578
That's why I can talk about it,
'cause I'm an old egg.

668
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,547
And thank God I came out fine.

669
00:35:50,047 --> 00:35:52,416
Listen, thank God.

670
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,485
She rolled the motherfucking dice.

671
00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:59,457
And I came out smart. Listen, as a kid,
I was smart as a motherfucker.

672
00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:02,460
My ABCs, 123s,
they only had to show me one time.

673
00:36:02,527 --> 00:36:04,695
One time, caught it right off.

674
00:36:04,762 --> 00:36:07,398
I was so smart,
they didn't even have to potty train me.

675
00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:10,201
I showed up
with a Pull-Up on, ready to go.

676
00:36:13,471 --> 00:36:14,939
Only thing about it,

677
00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:18,476
not only was I smart, but I was strong,

678
00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:20,811
especially up under the arms.

679
00:36:21,612 --> 00:36:24,115
As a kid, I was mustier
than a motherfucker.

680
00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:27,251
I was a full-grown woman
up under the arms.

681
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,688
Bitch, Tussy couldn't hold me.
You remember Tussy.

682
00:36:30,755 --> 00:36:33,090
Tussy was for the funky teenagers.

683
00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:35,560
Bitch, Tussy, I ran through Tussy.

684
00:36:35,626 --> 00:36:37,295
Tussy couldn't fuck with me.

685
00:36:38,262 --> 00:36:41,165
Secret was no secret, bitch.
I took Secret down.

686
00:36:42,466 --> 00:36:45,536
I was seven years old on Right Guard.

687
00:36:47,638 --> 00:36:50,341
And you know, Right Guard was
for construction workers, bitch.

688
00:36:50,408 --> 00:36:52,043
I was on Right Guard.

689
00:36:55,112 --> 00:36:57,582
I had to grow into my underarms.

690
00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:01,052
I remember being outside
turning double dutch.

691
00:37:01,118 --> 00:37:03,521
My friends be like, "Put your arms down!"

692
00:37:17,201 --> 00:37:20,438
But Shannon Sharpe, listen,
Shannon's shit was so scandalous,

693
00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:24,609
it made us even forget about
that Kanye went and hollered out

694
00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:27,411
he sucked his cousin's dick
till he was 14.

695
00:37:29,046 --> 00:37:31,215
Oh shit, I ain't say it. He said it.

696
00:37:34,352 --> 00:37:36,554
And here's my thing. Here's my thing.

697
00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:40,791
'Cause I understand we in this culture now
where everybody wanna speak their piece,

698
00:37:40,858 --> 00:37:44,195
and "I wanna clear my mind,"
and "I wanna heal,"

699
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:46,297
and they just wanna tell
their motherfuckin' story.

700
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:47,999
And it's okay to tell your story,

701
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:51,402
but you can't bring nobody else
in your goddamn story.

702
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:53,471
His cousin might not…
I don't even know if it's true.

703
00:37:53,537 --> 00:37:55,373
His cousin might not want
no shit like that,

704
00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:57,008
for you to say no shit like that.

705
00:37:58,609 --> 00:38:04,915
Like, for instance, you ever hear somebody
admit to liking or doing some nasty shit?

706
00:38:05,483 --> 00:38:09,720
And then when you call them out on it,
they try to blame it on where they from.

707
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,556
And you happen to be
from the same place they from.

708
00:38:12,623 --> 00:38:14,992
So here's how it go.
They be saying some shit like this.

709
00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:17,128
"You know I was with Brenda
the other night."

710
00:38:17,194 --> 00:38:19,030
"What? Hell yeah, man."

711
00:38:19,096 --> 00:38:21,499
"Me and Brenda was having
a good fucking time."

712
00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:23,367
"Man, Brenda's still wild man."

713
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,636
"Brenda's still wild,
but I turned that bitch out."

714
00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:27,571
You was like, "For real?"
He's like, "Hell yeah."

715
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,808
"I rolled over,
and I started eating her ass."

716
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,077
And you be like, "Ooh."

717
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,646
He be like, "Shit, nigga,
I'm from Detroit, nigga."

718
00:38:35,713 --> 00:38:37,014
"I'm from Detroit, nigga."

719
00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:40,284
You be like, "Detroit ain't got shit
to do with that, bitch."

720
00:38:40,785 --> 00:38:43,854
"My whole family's from Detroit.
Don't nobody in my family eat ass."

721
00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:46,691
"That's your shit.
That ain't got shit to do with Detroit."

722
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,062
"Don't bring me in on that shit."

723
00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:56,834
I like my sense of humor.

724
00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:59,170
I do.

725
00:38:59,236 --> 00:39:03,607
Listen, I have a very wicked
sense of humor. I really do.

726
00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:05,409
And I've been like this all my life.

727
00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:08,446
And because I have
a wicked sense of humor,

728
00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:09,947
it helps me from stressing a lot.

729
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:12,483
I don't stress a lot.
I really don't. I really don't.

730
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,019
Because of my perspective
and the way I see things.

731
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:17,621
First of all,
I'm a kind person. I'm a nice person.

732
00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,091
I try to not be a mean-spirited person.

733
00:39:20,157 --> 00:39:21,325
I am.

734
00:39:22,326 --> 00:39:23,761
I am, for the most part.

735
00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:28,165
And then, I'm one of those people,
I always look for the good.

736
00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:30,701
No matter what happens, look for the good.

737
00:39:30,768 --> 00:39:34,438
And when you're looking for the good,
sometimes you just have to be patient.

738
00:39:34,505 --> 00:39:37,274
But if you be patient,
eventually you'll see the good.

739
00:39:37,341 --> 00:39:38,976
I always look for the good.

740
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:43,114
And then, I'm not afraid
to think outside of the box.

741
00:39:43,180 --> 00:39:46,350
Sometimes people just condition themselves
to focus right here.

742
00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:50,187
I'm one of those people,
I step back and think outside of the box.

743
00:39:50,254 --> 00:39:53,190
So I'm able to see things
from a whole other perspective sometimes.

744
00:39:53,257 --> 00:39:55,760
And it saves me
a lot of times from stress.

745
00:39:55,826 --> 00:39:59,463
Like, for instance, there was a situation
that happened in Jacksonville, Florida.

746
00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:04,602
A crazy man ran up in a Dollar Store,
shot up the Dollar Store.

747
00:40:04,668 --> 00:40:06,270
Five people died.

748
00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:07,471
It was tragic.

749
00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:09,974
It was all on CNN, all on the local news.

750
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:14,044
The victims' family was posting pictures
of them on Facebook and Instagram.

751
00:40:14,111 --> 00:40:15,246
"Gone too soon."

752
00:40:15,312 --> 00:40:16,647
"Rest in peace."

753
00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:18,783
I called all my family members that night.

754
00:40:18,849 --> 00:40:21,118
And first of all,
I told them that I loved them.

755
00:40:21,185 --> 00:40:22,920
And then I told them, I said, "Listen,

756
00:40:22,987 --> 00:40:27,291
if I should ever happen to die
or get killed at the Dollar Store,

757
00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:29,360
don't put my motherfucking picture
in the paper

758
00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:31,796
and tell people I died
at the goddamn Dollar Store."

759
00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:35,733
"Come on now. Bitch,
lie and say it was CVS or something."

760
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,137
"You don't tell nobody I died
at the goddamn Dollar Store."

761
00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:44,008
"Bitch, all the shit
I've accomplished in life,

762
00:40:44,074 --> 00:40:47,044
you gonna put Dollar Tree on me, bitch?
Come on."

763
00:40:49,413 --> 00:40:53,984
"Name the Plaza. You don't tell nobody
I died at the goddamn Dollar Store."

764
00:40:58,255 --> 00:40:59,824
And I'm telling you this

765
00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:03,093
because you really gotta
tell your relative shit like this.

766
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,596
I'm telling you,
you'll be laying in your casket.

767
00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:07,364
You'll be laying in your casket.

768
00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:09,600
Somebody will be reading your obituary.

769
00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:12,236
They'll be doing good
till they get all the way down to the end

770
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,671
and say some goofy shit.

771
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:17,775
They'll say, "Well, one thing about her,
she loved the Dollar Store."

772
00:41:18,509 --> 00:41:20,244
You will sit right up in your casket like,

773
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:23,247
"Who the fuck told you
to say some bullshit like that?"

774
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,549
"Don't tell nobody no shit like that."

775
00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:30,621
'Cause here's the truth
about the Dollar Store.

776
00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:32,823
We fuck with the Dollar Store.

777
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:36,093
We all fuck with it,
but it ain't your shit.

778
00:41:36,894 --> 00:41:37,895
It ain't your shit.

779
00:41:37,962 --> 00:41:40,264
You fuck with it, but it ain't your shit.

780
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:43,167
And here's how you know
it ain't your shit.

781
00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:45,135
Whenever you're in the Dollar Store,

782
00:41:45,202 --> 00:41:47,605
you're never 100% comfortable.

783
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:50,140
You always keep your head on a swivel,

784
00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:52,743
looking for somebody you know.

785
00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:54,845
Soon as you see somebody you know,

786
00:41:54,912 --> 00:41:58,482
after you speak,
you immediately state why you in there.

787
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:02,419
You be like, "What's up, Tammy?
How you doing, baby? Good to see you."

788
00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:04,788
"I'm just in here
getting my aunt a birthday card."

789
00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:08,092
"How your mom doing?
Tell your mom I said hi."

790
00:42:08,158 --> 00:42:09,493
That's right.

791
00:42:10,060 --> 00:42:12,296
'Cause you fuck with it,
but this ain't your shit.

792
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:14,999
Here's how you really know
it ain't your shit.

793
00:42:15,499 --> 00:42:19,837
No matter what you buy, never get a cart.

794
00:42:19,904 --> 00:42:22,239
I'll be at the register,
arms full of shit.

795
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,508
I refuse to get a cart.

796
00:42:24,575 --> 00:42:26,610
'Cause you get a cart,
that mean this your shit.

797
00:42:26,677 --> 00:42:27,678
This your shit.

798
00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:29,313
This your shit.

799
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:30,981
This what you do.

800
00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:35,986
I refuse to get a cart.

801
00:42:40,424 --> 00:42:41,592
You ever notice…

802
00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:44,995
You ever notice
you don't see couples in the Dollar Store?

803
00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:48,198
You go in that bitch one at a time.

804
00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:50,668
Your husband be like, "You go on in."

805
00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:53,571
"I'mma sit in the car
and wait on you to come out."

806
00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:57,841
You don't never want to be seen
on no goddamn date at the Dollar Store.

807
00:42:59,977 --> 00:43:03,213
And here's rule number one
of going to the Dollar Store.

808
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:07,651
Whenever you talk about
what you did that day,

809
00:43:07,718 --> 00:43:10,654
you never mention the Dollar Store.

810
00:43:12,456 --> 00:43:15,960
People be like, "What you do today?"
"Oh, bitch, I've been busy all day."

811
00:43:17,227 --> 00:43:19,930
"Had to take my grandmother
to choir rehearsal,

812
00:43:19,997 --> 00:43:22,166
pick my daughter up,
go to cheerleading practice,

813
00:43:22,232 --> 00:43:24,602
take the dog to the vet,
go to the laundry,

814
00:43:24,668 --> 00:43:25,869
pick up the laundry and shit."

815
00:43:25,936 --> 00:43:29,039
They be like, "Really? 'Cause Tammy said
she's seen you in the Dollar Store."

816
00:43:29,106 --> 00:43:31,542
Ah! Type shit, type shit, yeah.

817
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,612
"Had to go get my aunt
a birthday card real quick, you know?"

818
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:38,649
But you don't bring that shit up.

819
00:43:39,183 --> 00:43:41,185
You gotta know how to move
out in these streets.

820
00:43:41,251 --> 00:43:42,486
You gotta know how to move.

821
00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:45,322
'Cause here's the one thing I can tell you
and promise you about life.

822
00:43:45,389 --> 00:43:46,724
Life is very humbling.

823
00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:48,692
Very humbling.

824
00:43:48,759 --> 00:43:51,996
And if it hasn't humbled you yet,
just wait.

825
00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:53,897
Listen, the Bible speaks about it.

826
00:43:53,964 --> 00:43:56,100
The Bible say we will all be humbled.

827
00:43:56,166 --> 00:43:58,969
All heads will bow,
and all knees will bend to Him.

828
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:00,671
We will all be humbled.

829
00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:05,109
Life is very humbling.

830
00:44:05,175 --> 00:44:08,979
You know how much Sean John shit
is at the Goodwill right now?

831
00:44:11,849 --> 00:44:14,151
Homeless people won't even wear that shit.

832
00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:18,355
I seen a homeless man throw a jacket
way across the room.

833
00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:22,359
He was like, "Nah, take that,
take that, take that, take that."

834
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:30,167
Y'all know that was a good fucking joke
there. Y'all bullshitting right there.

835
00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:31,502
That was, listen…

836
00:44:34,071 --> 00:44:35,539
Life is very humbling.

837
00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:39,343
Here's the thing, the fact
that Puffy has billions of dollars

838
00:44:39,910 --> 00:44:42,479
and can't get a bond or a bail.

839
00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:46,016
Listen, Puffy is in the middle
of a scary movie

840
00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:49,053
called The Ghost of Pussy Past.

841
00:44:50,821 --> 00:44:53,057
Now here's the thing.
I'm not defending what he did,

842
00:44:53,123 --> 00:44:54,858
I'm not justifying what he did,

843
00:44:54,925 --> 00:44:56,960
but I just want y'all to do me one favor.

844
00:44:57,027 --> 00:45:00,097
Think outside of the box
just a little bit.

845
00:45:00,731 --> 00:45:06,003
What if a motherfucker was judging you
on some shit you did back in the day?

846
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:07,638
Let's take the '80s.

847
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:11,575
What if a motherfucker was judging you
on some shit you did in the '80s?

848
00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:14,611
First of all,
we was all different in the '80s.

849
00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:19,950
Life was different in the '80s.
The rules was different in the '80s.

850
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:22,853
If you describe some of the shit
we was doing in the '80s,

851
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,956
if you describe that shit right now,
it don't sound right.

852
00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,758
It don't sound right.

853
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:29,393
I'm talking about little shit.

854
00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:32,863
Like, describe bobbing for apples.

855
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:34,965
The game we played at birthday parties.

856
00:45:35,032 --> 00:45:37,034
Describe that shit today.

857
00:45:37,101 --> 00:45:39,103
You'd be like,
"Okay, so let me get this right."

858
00:45:39,169 --> 00:45:40,604
"Y'all took kids,

859
00:45:41,538 --> 00:45:43,207
blindfolded them,

860
00:45:43,273 --> 00:45:45,342
tied their hands behind their back,

861
00:45:46,276 --> 00:45:50,114
had them stick their head
in a bucket of nasty-ass water,

862
00:45:51,782 --> 00:45:53,317
for an apple?"

863
00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:57,020
Yeah.

864
00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,757
That shit don't sound right.

865
00:46:00,390 --> 00:46:02,226
And you know that shit don't sound right.

866
00:46:03,026 --> 00:46:06,096
If your grandbaby came home tomorrow
and was like,

867
00:46:06,163 --> 00:46:08,766
"I was over Jennifer's house,
and we were playing a game,

868
00:46:08,832 --> 00:46:10,701
and they tied my hands behind my back,"

869
00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:13,437
you'd be like,
"What kind of fucking game was that?"

870
00:46:13,937 --> 00:46:16,340
"You don't tie kids' hands
behind they back."

871
00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,642
That's the shit we was doing.

872
00:46:19,576 --> 00:46:20,611
Come on now.

873
00:46:20,677 --> 00:46:23,180
Some of the shit we was doing,
if you listen to that shit today,

874
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:24,148
it don't sound right.

875
00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:29,019
Describe Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

876
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,488
Okay, so let me get this right.

877
00:46:31,555 --> 00:46:35,159
Y'all took kids, blindfolded 'em,

878
00:46:35,225 --> 00:46:37,795
spin 'em around and got 'em dizzy.

879
00:46:38,695 --> 00:46:41,899
Then told 'em, "Find the ass
in the room, find the ass."

880
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:44,201
Yeah, y'all motherfuckers going to…

881
00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:48,906
You know that shit don't sound right.

882
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:56,280
Y'all remember the '80s.

883
00:46:56,780 --> 00:46:59,283
Life was different in the '80s.

884
00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:02,419
You remember the '80s,
your mom had that Cutlass

885
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,154
with no power steering.

886
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,825
She made that left turn
with all her motherfucking might.

887
00:47:07,891 --> 00:47:10,494
You was so light in the ass,
every time she made a left turn,

888
00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:13,697
you slid all the way to the edge
of the goddamn seat.

889
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:17,234
And you slid
'cause you ain't had no seatbelt on.

890
00:47:17,301 --> 00:47:19,102
Come on now, it's the '80s.

891
00:47:19,169 --> 00:47:23,040
We was riding dirty in the '80s.
You ain't had no goddamn seatbelt on.

892
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:26,310
Listen, we was brought up rough.

893
00:47:26,944 --> 00:47:29,780
In the '80s, your mother would smoke
a whole pack of cigarettes,

894
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:32,716
roll the windows up,
and smoke that bitch with you in the car.

895
00:47:33,817 --> 00:47:35,719
She smoked, and you smoked too.

896
00:47:41,758 --> 00:47:44,127
She didn't give a fuck about your lungs.

897
00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:47,130
Bitch, this was the '80s.

898
00:47:50,968 --> 00:47:54,438
That's why I look at some
of the luxuries we have today,

899
00:47:54,504 --> 00:47:56,039
and it's hard to complain.

900
00:47:56,106 --> 00:48:00,611
Like, do you realize we have apps
like Spotify and Apple Music and YouTube,

901
00:48:00,677 --> 00:48:04,248
where you can go to any song
from any genre and play it instantly?

902
00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:06,316
See, I remember the '80s,

903
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:08,785
when you was in your room
and you called the radio station

904
00:48:08,852 --> 00:48:10,888
five times in a row,

905
00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:14,391
begging the bitch
to play the "Double Dutch Bus."

906
00:48:15,092 --> 00:48:18,428
You were like, "Bitches, you gonna play
the song or not? 'Cause I got shit to do."

907
00:48:22,199 --> 00:48:24,434
Nowadays, if you call a bitch
five times in a row,

908
00:48:24,501 --> 00:48:26,403
you going to jail for stalking.

909
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:28,939
Life was different.

910
00:48:30,007 --> 00:48:31,975
And y'all know life was different.

911
00:48:32,042 --> 00:48:33,477
Ladies, life was different.

912
00:48:33,543 --> 00:48:35,145
Y'all remember in the '80s,

913
00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:38,448
when you took a bath or took a shower,

914
00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:40,751
to prove that you was fresh and clean,

915
00:48:40,817 --> 00:48:43,921
you put baby powder all on your chest.

916
00:48:43,987 --> 00:48:46,189
You put that shit all up to your neck.

917
00:48:46,690 --> 00:48:52,229
I wish the fuck you'd put some baby powder
on yourself and go outside right now.

918
00:48:52,296 --> 00:48:54,731
I tell you,
they'll call the CDC on your ass.

919
00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:57,935
"Yeah, we got a lady out here."

920
00:48:58,001 --> 00:49:03,006
"I'm not sure if it's anthrax, cocaine,
fentanyl, Carpet Fresh."

921
00:49:03,507 --> 00:49:05,208
"Somebody needs to come
check it out though."

922
00:49:05,275 --> 00:49:06,510
"All right, thank you."

923
00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:12,416
Life was different.

924
00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:15,752
So for a motherfucker
to judge you on some shit

925
00:49:15,819 --> 00:49:17,587
you were doing back in the day,

926
00:49:17,654 --> 00:49:19,323
shit was different.

927
00:49:19,389 --> 00:49:21,892
I ain't lying.
Listen, I had a scare this year.

928
00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:23,193
I had a scare.

929
00:49:24,161 --> 00:49:26,863
I am a graduate of Morris Brown College
in Atlanta, Georgia.

930
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:34,905
This year, they came out
with a documentary about Freaknik.

931
00:49:36,373 --> 00:49:38,608
Friend of mine called me like,
"Girl, you heard that?"

932
00:49:38,675 --> 00:49:41,445
"They coming out
with a documentary about Freaknik."

933
00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:44,348
First thing I said was,
"Where they getting the footage from?"

934
00:49:47,784 --> 00:49:51,722
She was like, "Oh,
they just telling people to send it in."

935
00:49:51,788 --> 00:49:53,457
I'm sitting there like, "Shit."

936
00:49:53,523 --> 00:49:55,826
I'm wondering
if people gonna be able to see that's me

937
00:49:55,892 --> 00:49:58,128
with no eyebrows and shit, you know.

938
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:01,932
You know,
life was different back then, you know.

939
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:05,302
So I had really forgotten about it.

940
00:50:05,369 --> 00:50:06,603
And my dude came to me one day.

941
00:50:06,670 --> 00:50:11,008
He was like, "Yeah, you know, I heard
a documentary coming out about Freaknik."

942
00:50:11,074 --> 00:50:13,377
"It came out… It's coming out this week."

943
00:50:13,443 --> 00:50:15,712
"We gonna watch it on Friday."

944
00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,648
I said, "Bitch,
I'm gonna watch it on Wednesday

945
00:50:19,649 --> 00:50:22,652
to see if we gonna watch it on Friday."

946
00:50:24,888 --> 00:50:25,889
That's right.

947
00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:28,425
And I'm one of those people, listen…

948
00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:31,128
I try to keep up with the new shit,
and I'm impressed.

949
00:50:31,194 --> 00:50:34,197
I'm impressed,
and a lot of shit motivates me.

950
00:50:34,264 --> 00:50:36,833
I get motivated
by seeing people's success.

951
00:50:36,900 --> 00:50:39,036
Sometimes when you see
other people's success,

952
00:50:39,102 --> 00:50:41,138
you can't take it as your failure.

953
00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:42,839
People do that a lot of time.

954
00:50:42,906 --> 00:50:47,644
Other people's success is not a picture
of your failure. You know what I'm saying?

955
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:51,782
I like the fact that we have
more female rappers now than ever before.

956
00:50:51,848 --> 00:50:53,417
I do.

957
00:50:55,018 --> 00:50:57,220
Oh, I love the female rappers.

958
00:50:57,287 --> 00:50:59,890
We got Kash Doll, Nicki Minaj.

959
00:50:59,956 --> 00:51:03,260
We got Cardi B and GloRilla.

960
00:51:03,326 --> 00:51:05,495
Goddamn, I like Glo.

961
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:06,797
I like Lil Glo.

962
00:51:06,863 --> 00:51:09,666
I heard GloRilla say something,
I swear to y'all,

963
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:12,702
changed my outlook and perspective
on some things in life.

964
00:51:12,769 --> 00:51:15,272
So GloRilla is straight out
of Memphis, Tennessee.

965
00:51:15,338 --> 00:51:18,141
So when she speaks,
she has a strong southern accent.

966
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:21,411
So they're doing an interview,
and the man asked GloRilla,

967
00:51:21,478 --> 00:51:23,413
"Well, how do you like being famous?"

968
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:27,050
She be like, "I ain't gonna lie.
It's a little hard being famous."

969
00:51:27,117 --> 00:51:29,386
"It's a little hard being famous."

970
00:51:29,453 --> 00:51:31,688
The man said, "Well, what's so hard
about being famous?"

971
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:34,925
She be like, "Well, because my fans
be bullying me online."

972
00:51:34,991 --> 00:51:36,560
He said, "Your fans bully you?"

973
00:51:36,626 --> 00:51:39,296
She said, "Yeah, my fans
be bullying me online."

974
00:51:39,362 --> 00:51:42,966
She said, "They be making fun
of my funny-looking little body

975
00:51:43,033 --> 00:51:45,902
and my big-ass nose, but I let them know,

976
00:51:45,969 --> 00:51:49,606
y'all mind will get used to keep seeing
this funny-looking little body

977
00:51:49,673 --> 00:51:51,408
and this big-ass nose,

978
00:51:51,475 --> 00:51:54,744
'cause I'm gonna keep making hits
and I'm gonna keep getting money."

979
00:51:54,811 --> 00:51:58,215
"And at the end of the day,
pussy still good."

980
00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:07,324
And I was like, "What the fuck
did pussy have to do with that?"

981
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:09,659
Like, I was confused.

982
00:52:11,661 --> 00:52:14,531
And it wasn't until I backed up,

983
00:52:15,398 --> 00:52:16,833
stepped outside of the box,

984
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:21,004
looked at it in a whole 'nother way,
then this is how I heard it.

985
00:52:21,071 --> 00:52:24,174
First of all, you gotta understand,
sometimes in life,

986
00:52:24,241 --> 00:52:26,743
people are not gonna see you
the way you see yourself.

987
00:52:26,810 --> 00:52:30,714
And that was one of the hardest lessons
I ever had to learn in my life.

988
00:52:30,780 --> 00:52:33,717
Sometimes people just not gonna see you
the way you see yourself.

989
00:52:33,783 --> 00:52:36,520
And always cheer for yourself.

990
00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:37,854
I don't give a fuck.

991
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:39,356
Always cheer for yourself.

992
00:52:40,524 --> 00:52:41,558
Always.

993
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:45,395
People ask me,
"Who are your top five comedians?"

994
00:52:45,462 --> 00:52:47,297
I say, "Well, three of them is Sommore."

995
00:52:49,332 --> 00:52:51,935
And two of them
look just like her, you know.

996
00:52:55,672 --> 00:52:57,440
But always cheer for yourself.

997
00:52:57,507 --> 00:53:00,777
So when I said that, I listened to Cardi.

998
00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:03,747
I listened, go back,
and listened to GloRilla thing again.

999
00:53:03,813 --> 00:53:05,682
So this is what I heard this time.

1000
00:53:06,416 --> 00:53:09,486
"You might not like
my funny-looking little body

1001
00:53:09,553 --> 00:53:11,221
or my big-ass nose,

1002
00:53:11,288 --> 00:53:14,891
but I'm going to keep making hits,
and I'm going to keep getting money."

1003
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:19,563
"And at the end of the day, if none
of this shit don't work, guess what?"

1004
00:53:19,629 --> 00:53:21,865
"Pussy still good."

1005
00:53:25,869 --> 00:53:28,972
I said, "This bitch just gave
her pussy a shout-out."

1006
00:53:31,174 --> 00:53:33,009
She gave her pussy a shout-out.

1007
00:53:34,377 --> 00:53:39,416
I went home and changed the password
to all my shit to "Pussy still good."

1008
00:53:44,688 --> 00:53:45,689
That's right.

1009
00:53:46,623 --> 00:53:48,525
If that don't motivate you,

1010
00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:51,361
no matter what happens in life,

1011
00:53:51,861 --> 00:53:53,597
pussy still good.

1012
00:53:53,663 --> 00:53:54,864
Understand that.

1013
00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:56,533
Understand that.

1014
00:53:58,034 --> 00:53:59,002
And I know some women…

1015
00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:02,072
Listen, y'all would never use it.
You're too dignified to use it.

1016
00:54:02,138 --> 00:54:05,575
But I can show you where you can use it

1017
00:54:05,642 --> 00:54:07,277
on the simplest terms.

1018
00:54:07,944 --> 00:54:10,714
Let's say you got a doctor's appointment.

1019
00:54:10,780 --> 00:54:12,515
You got a doctor's appointment
at one o'clock.

1020
00:54:12,582 --> 00:54:14,684
You get there early.
You get there at 12:30.

1021
00:54:15,518 --> 00:54:19,689
The little girl don't call you to the back
till five after one.

1022
00:54:20,423 --> 00:54:22,759
She don't come in there
to take your blood pressure

1023
00:54:22,826 --> 00:54:24,327
till quarter after one.

1024
00:54:24,828 --> 00:54:26,663
She walk in that bitch
like ain't nothing wrong.

1025
00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:28,765
She ain't even apologizing for being late.

1026
00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:31,534
She throws the cuff on you
and start pumping.

1027
00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:41,011
She look at you, she say,
"Mm, your blood pressure a little high."

1028
00:54:41,077 --> 00:54:44,648
You look at her and say,
"It was fine at one o'clock."

1029
00:54:47,684 --> 00:54:50,920
Listen, don't let this little girl
fuck your day up.

1030
00:54:51,688 --> 00:54:53,990
Now you know you've been watching
your sodium intake.

1031
00:54:54,557 --> 00:54:56,993
You know you've been doing
your 10,000 steps a day.

1032
00:54:57,060 --> 00:54:58,995
You know you've been drinking your water.

1033
00:54:59,062 --> 00:55:01,064
When she tries to tell you
your blood pressure high,

1034
00:55:01,131 --> 00:55:02,766
this is exactly what I want you to do.

1035
00:55:02,832 --> 00:55:04,467
I want you to look down,

1036
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:06,136
look away,

1037
00:55:06,202 --> 00:55:09,239
look her dead in the face and say,
"At the end of the day…"

1038
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:11,508
-"Pussy still good."
-Pussy still good.

1039
00:55:12,609 --> 00:55:14,844
Pressure high, but pussy good.

1040
00:55:19,115 --> 00:55:20,183
That's right.

1041
00:55:22,852 --> 00:55:25,955
I can tell you one better than that.
Better than that. Better than that.

1042
00:55:27,557 --> 00:55:29,592
Let's say you go to the bank.

1043
00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:30,827
Let's say you go to the bank.

1044
00:55:30,894 --> 00:55:32,962
You doing a little deposit.

1045
00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:35,498
You doing a little deposit.

1046
00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:38,468
You slide the check up under the window.

1047
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:41,871
You don't even ask for the balance
'cause you know where you at.

1048
00:55:41,938 --> 00:55:42,972
You already know.

1049
00:55:43,473 --> 00:55:46,876
She take it upon herself
to write your balance down.

1050
00:55:46,943 --> 00:55:48,778
She slide the shit back to you.

1051
00:55:48,845 --> 00:55:50,814
You look down. It's a little light.

1052
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,449
It's a little light.

1053
00:55:52,515 --> 00:55:55,051
It's a little light.
Don't let this fuck up your day.

1054
00:55:55,752 --> 00:55:57,420
Don't let this fuck up your day.

1055
00:55:57,487 --> 00:56:01,658
This is exactly what I want you to do.
I want you to look down, look away,

1056
00:56:01,725 --> 00:56:04,260
pick that paper up
and ball it right up in her face

1057
00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:07,697
and say,
"At the end of the day, pussy still good."

1058
00:56:07,764 --> 00:56:09,299
Bitch, pussy still good.

1059
00:56:15,004 --> 00:56:17,006
I'm one of those people,
I used to think that

1060
00:56:17,741 --> 00:56:19,776
laughter was the best medicine,

1061
00:56:20,276 --> 00:56:22,345
all until Ozempic came out.

1062
00:56:23,012 --> 00:56:26,015
Shit, Ozempic is the shit.

1063
00:56:26,082 --> 00:56:27,250
Ozempic is the shit.

1064
00:56:27,817 --> 00:56:29,319
Have you seen Oprah?

1065
00:56:29,919 --> 00:56:32,255
Bitch, Oprah is a size eight.

1066
00:56:32,756 --> 00:56:36,893
And everybody that know Oprah, know Oprah
been a 20 all her motherfucking life.

1067
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:38,828
Strong 20.

1068
00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:40,830
Oprah is an eight.

1069
00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:42,665
And she look good.

1070
00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:44,334
Goddamn, she look good.

1071
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:46,970
And here's the thing.
Here's why I'm so happy for her.

1072
00:56:47,036 --> 00:56:49,906
Because all the money that Oprah has,
she's been in the struggle.

1073
00:56:49,973 --> 00:56:51,508
She's just like me and you. You listen.

1074
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:54,077
She's been in the struggle.
She's been in the struggle.

1075
00:56:54,144 --> 00:56:57,213
Oprah struggled so much with her weight,
she joined Weight Watchers.

1076
00:56:57,781 --> 00:56:59,115
She joined Weight Watchers.

1077
00:56:59,182 --> 00:57:01,451
Joined Weight Watchers,
invested money in the company,

1078
00:57:01,518 --> 00:57:02,786
became the face of the company,

1079
00:57:02,852 --> 00:57:07,590
became the spokesperson of the company,
all until Ozempic came out.

1080
00:57:07,657 --> 00:57:10,827
Ozempic came out,
Oprah took three shots of Ozempic,

1081
00:57:10,894 --> 00:57:13,296
and broke up with them bitches on Twitter.

1082
00:57:13,797 --> 00:57:16,399
She ain't even go to the meeting.
She tweeted them hoes,

1083
00:57:16,466 --> 00:57:17,434
"I'm out."

1084
00:57:19,803 --> 00:57:21,371
She look good.

1085
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:24,140
Listen, and Oprah outside, outside.

1086
00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:26,509
She ain't never been outside like this.

1087
00:57:27,010 --> 00:57:27,844
Never.

1088
00:57:27,911 --> 00:57:30,580
But now Oprah at parties turnt up.

1089
00:57:30,647 --> 00:57:34,350
Listen, she gave
a whole big shout-out to Ozempic.

1090
00:57:34,417 --> 00:57:36,686
Listen, Ozempic is a bad motherfucker,

1091
00:57:36,753 --> 00:57:38,054
and it works fast.

1092
00:57:38,121 --> 00:57:41,891
You take that shit, you be skinny
and your shadow's still fat.

1093
00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:55,672
But you gotta go to Oprah's page
to see what I'm talking about.

1094
00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:58,241
She's an eight now, and she looks good.

1095
00:57:58,308 --> 00:58:00,643
What I like about it is
she ain't got that old sloppy weight.

1096
00:58:00,710 --> 00:58:04,013
Like, you know some people had
that "I used to be fat" look? Mm-mm.

1097
00:58:04,781 --> 00:58:07,917
Oprah has a total makeover.
I'm talking about head to toe.

1098
00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:11,387
All her shit is brand-fucking-new.

1099
00:58:11,454 --> 00:58:13,256
She has this video on her page.

1100
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,958
She has on this purple dress.

1101
00:58:15,458 --> 00:58:16,960
And she walking down the hallway,

1102
00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:18,495
and they slow the video down

1103
00:58:18,561 --> 00:58:20,930
so she in slow motion when she walking.

1104
00:58:20,997 --> 00:58:24,901
I had to zoom in.
I said, "Goddamn, look at Oprah."

1105
00:58:24,968 --> 00:58:27,637
And every time she step, her hair bounce.

1106
00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:30,306
I'm like, "Look at Oprah.
Hair from Brazil."

1107
00:58:30,373 --> 00:58:32,942
"The titties is from Cuba."

1108
00:58:33,009 --> 00:58:35,712
"The ass is from the Dominican Republic,

1109
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:38,948
but them feet still from Mississippi."

1110
00:58:42,986 --> 00:58:44,954
I tell you, she going down that hallway,

1111
00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:47,757
I'm like, "Oprah,
you got to get new feet, baby."

1112
00:58:48,758 --> 00:58:52,061
You can't put all that hot-girl shit
on them country-ass feet.

1113
00:59:01,137 --> 00:59:02,772
They got to get new feet.

1114
00:59:05,508 --> 00:59:07,544
And here's the thing. Here's the thing.

1115
00:59:07,610 --> 00:59:08,912
Why do women do that?

1116
00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:12,315
Why do we go out
and get all brand-new shit?

1117
00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:13,983
Head to toe, top to bottom.

1118
00:59:14,617 --> 00:59:17,921
New glasses, new teeth,
new titties, flat stomach, bigger ass.

1119
00:59:17,987 --> 00:59:21,424
Get all that shit, go somewhere,
and your feet hurt.

1120
00:59:22,158 --> 00:59:24,093
Why you just don't get new feet?

1121
00:59:24,694 --> 00:59:26,596
Who gonna be the first bitch
to get new feet?

1122
00:59:26,663 --> 00:59:28,998
I'mma be the first bitch to get new feet.

1123
00:59:29,065 --> 00:59:30,934
I'mma show up at a party.

1124
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:34,003
Y'all gonna be all sitting down
'cause your feet hurt.

1125
00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:36,606
I'mma hit the room
and hit the stage like this. "Ah!"

1126
00:59:39,642 --> 00:59:42,779
Y'all gonna be sitting there like,
"You know them feet ain't real."

1127
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,215
"You know that bitch had her feet done."

1128
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,388
But I'm happy for Oprah.

1129
00:59:52,455 --> 00:59:54,457
And she humble, listen, Oprah is humble.

1130
00:59:54,524 --> 00:59:56,926
Y'all know how much
motherfucking money Oprah has?

1131
00:59:56,993 --> 00:59:58,127
You know you humble,

1132
00:59:58,194 --> 01:00:00,763
you got all that fucking money
and you still wear glasses.

1133
01:00:01,531 --> 01:00:03,800
Bitch, that's humbler than a motherfucker.

1134
01:00:03,866 --> 01:00:05,768
'Cause if I had half of Oprah money,

1135
01:00:05,835 --> 01:00:08,404
I'd have x-ray vision on y'all asses.

1136
01:00:10,006 --> 01:00:13,242
You walk up to me, I'd be like,
"I see you had pizza for lunch."

1137
01:00:18,681 --> 01:00:21,084
But Oprah looks good, she really does.

1138
01:00:21,150 --> 01:00:23,786
To be honest with y'all,
I'm worried about Stedman.

1139
01:00:23,853 --> 01:00:25,888
Listen, her long-time boyfriend.

1140
01:00:25,955 --> 01:00:27,290
Stedman been hanging in there.

1141
01:00:27,357 --> 01:00:30,793
And you know, any man in here been with
a woman that struggles with her weight,

1142
01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:34,297
you know how emotional we are,
and sensitive about our weight.

1143
01:00:34,364 --> 01:00:37,100
When we going through
our self-esteem shit,

1144
01:00:37,166 --> 01:00:38,935
our emotions go up and down.

1145
01:00:39,002 --> 01:00:41,638
So Stedman go through it
when he dealing with Oprah.

1146
01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:44,807
And any man know, any woman
that go from a 20 to an eight

1147
01:00:44,874 --> 01:00:46,843
is a totally different woman. Come on now.

1148
01:00:47,844 --> 01:00:50,213
Mentally, that's a whole 'nother woman.

1149
01:00:50,279 --> 01:00:52,982
Life is just different
at an eight and a 20.

1150
01:00:53,049 --> 01:00:55,585
First of all,
you can make love to an eight.

1151
01:00:56,119 --> 01:00:57,887
You got to fuck a 20.

1152
01:00:57,954 --> 01:01:00,423
Bitch, you got to get up under a 20.

1153
01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:02,892
You can't be bullshitting
with no goddamn 20.

1154
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:08,131
You end up on your back with your legs up
fucking with a 20 like, "Hold on now."

1155
01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:10,333
"Put my leg down."

1156
01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:12,802
"I'm a man. Put my leg down."

1157
01:01:15,371 --> 01:01:17,774
You can't be bullshitting with no 20.

1158
01:01:21,277 --> 01:01:23,279
Fucking a 20 is like a banjo, bitch.

1159
01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:25,581
You can't bullshit with a banjo.

1160
01:01:25,648 --> 01:01:28,284
If you can't play that bitch,
you can't pull it out.

1161
01:01:34,323 --> 01:01:36,559
There's people out here
going through real shit.

1162
01:01:36,626 --> 01:01:38,194
People going through real shit.

1163
01:01:38,695 --> 01:01:41,931
I got a girlfriend of mine right now
going through some real shit.

1164
01:01:41,998 --> 01:01:46,769
Girlfriend of mine was married
for 21 years to the love of her life.

1165
01:01:47,603 --> 01:01:51,974
He had a car accident, and unfortunately,
he died right there at the scene.

1166
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:53,710
Died right there at the scene.

1167
01:01:53,776 --> 01:01:57,613
And she was devastated,
which was expected, her to be devastated.

1168
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:00,083
But she vowed to everybody that night.

1169
01:02:00,149 --> 01:02:01,984
She said, "Listen, I am going to give him

1170
01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:05,688
the most memorable home-going ceremony
this city has ever seen."

1171
01:02:05,755 --> 01:02:09,092
She said, "No expense will be spared.
I'm going all out."

1172
01:02:09,158 --> 01:02:12,962
Let me tell y'all something. She rented
out the biggest cathedral in the city.

1173
01:02:13,029 --> 01:02:16,065
She hired a mass choir
to sing at the ceremony.

1174
01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:19,602
She hired Yolanda Adams
to lead the mass choir.

1175
01:02:19,669 --> 01:02:23,406
She hired Kirk Franklin
to lead Yolanda Adams.

1176
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:26,142
All out.

1177
01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:32,882
She had a custom-made casket.

1178
01:02:32,949 --> 01:02:35,218
It was all white with a glass top.

1179
01:02:35,284 --> 01:02:39,789
She had him a custom-made tuxedo,
all white, with a gold stripe up the side.

1180
01:02:39,856 --> 01:02:43,126
She was gonna have a 21-gun salute
at the gravesite.

1181
01:02:43,192 --> 01:02:44,660
She was gonna release 21 doves

1182
01:02:44,727 --> 01:02:47,330
to commemorate all the 21 years
they've been together.

1183
01:02:47,396 --> 01:02:52,502
She was gonna have 21 dozens
of white roses to line the church.

1184
01:02:52,568 --> 01:02:56,439
She wanted praise dancers
to dance all up and down the aisle.

1185
01:02:56,506 --> 01:03:00,409
She wanted all the congregation
to wear all white.

1186
01:03:00,476 --> 01:03:02,578
She had all this shit planned out

1187
01:03:02,645 --> 01:03:05,681
until she fucked around
and needed some information

1188
01:03:05,748 --> 01:03:07,617
for the insurance policy.

1189
01:03:09,051 --> 01:03:12,155
She took his phone down to T-Mobile,

1190
01:03:12,722 --> 01:03:17,293
and T-Mobile unlocked his phone.

1191
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:20,062
Very bad.

1192
01:03:21,764 --> 01:03:22,965
Very bad.

1193
01:03:25,034 --> 01:03:26,269
T-Mobile…

1194
01:03:29,605 --> 01:03:30,940
unlocked his phone.

1195
01:03:32,074 --> 01:03:34,977
First of all, she found out
he had an outside baby

1196
01:03:35,578 --> 01:03:37,113
that was seven years old.

1197
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,851
She found out a girl he swore
was his cousin, wasn't his cousin at all.

1198
01:03:42,351 --> 01:03:44,453
She found naked pictures
of women all in the phone

1199
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:46,889
where he had been sexting
and texting with women.

1200
01:03:46,956 --> 01:03:48,758
She found three dick pictures.

1201
01:03:50,159 --> 01:03:51,661
Two of them wasn't his.

1202
01:03:55,164 --> 01:03:57,533
She found out he wasn't even a Scorpio.

1203
01:03:58,534 --> 01:04:00,570
He was really a Gemini.

1204
01:04:09,078 --> 01:04:10,446
Let me tell y'all something.

1205
01:04:11,013 --> 01:04:13,816
She downgraded
this whole motherfucking funeral.

1206
01:04:14,584 --> 01:04:17,587
She called everybody and said,
"The funeral is off."

1207
01:04:20,590 --> 01:04:22,425
She buried this man

1208
01:04:22,491 --> 01:04:25,261
in a Temu jogging suit.

1209
01:04:31,601 --> 01:04:34,003
With some no-name tennis shoes.

1210
01:04:35,171 --> 01:04:37,106
She ain't even get him a haircut.

1211
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:39,642
She ain't even get him a taper.

1212
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,278
She put glasses on him.

1213
01:04:42,345 --> 01:04:43,946
He ain't even wear glasses.

1214
01:04:45,281 --> 01:04:49,518
She put the glasses on him and said,
"Look what the fuck you made me do."

1215
01:04:54,223 --> 01:04:57,426
She spelled his name wrong
on the obituary.

1216
01:04:58,327 --> 01:05:00,830
She spelled "fuck nigga" with two Ks.

1217
01:05:05,167 --> 01:05:08,237
She had the funeral service over Zoom,

1218
01:05:09,372 --> 01:05:11,207
but ain't give nobody the link.

1219
01:05:13,042 --> 01:05:17,747
He was laying in that bitch,
no haircut, with shades on by hisself.

1220
01:05:22,885 --> 01:05:23,920
So,

1221
01:05:23,986 --> 01:05:24,954
so…

1222
01:05:26,389 --> 01:05:29,725
Of course, I couldn't go to the service
'cause I was flying out that day.

1223
01:05:31,727 --> 01:05:34,030
But I told her, I said,
"When I get back to town,

1224
01:05:34,096 --> 01:05:35,665
we gonna go to lunch."

1225
01:05:35,731 --> 01:05:38,000
Y'all, I sat there with my friend
and she cried.

1226
01:05:38,067 --> 01:05:40,202
She cried for 20 minutes,
and I cried with her.

1227
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:43,172
She said,
"Girl, I'm just so fucking embarrassed."

1228
01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:45,408
"This man had all this shit
going on in this city,

1229
01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:48,110
and everybody knew except for me."

1230
01:05:48,177 --> 01:05:49,745
I said, "Well, look at it this way."

1231
01:05:49,812 --> 01:05:50,713
"He loved you enough

1232
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,816
that he respected you,
that he kept it from you."

1233
01:05:53,883 --> 01:05:56,552
"Okay, he did what he did,
but he kept it from you."

1234
01:05:56,619 --> 01:05:59,956
She said, "I know you're trying to make me
feel good 'cause you my friend."

1235
01:06:00,022 --> 01:06:03,726
She said, "But the truth of the matter is
I was married to a man who wasn't shit."

1236
01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:06,963
I said, "No. Now, he was a good man,
he wasn't a perfect man,

1237
01:06:07,029 --> 01:06:08,731
'cause I seen him treat you good."

1238
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:11,334
"So he was a good man,
he wasn't a perfect man."

1239
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:14,904
Now me, trying to find the good,
think outside the box,

1240
01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:18,407
I said, "Now T-Mobile,
T-Mobile ain't shit."

1241
01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:22,311
'Cause T-Mobile ain't had that shit to do.

1242
01:06:23,145 --> 01:06:27,550
Metro PCS would've never unlocked
that motherfucker's phone.

1243
01:06:27,616 --> 01:06:29,685
Dicks could've been falling
all out the screen,

1244
01:06:29,752 --> 01:06:31,687
they wouldn't unlock that goddamn phone.

1245
01:06:32,588 --> 01:06:33,990
T-Mobile ain't shit.

1246
01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:41,564
I said, "So what you gonna do?
I know you're embarrassed."

1247
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,032
"You gonna move?" She said, "No."

1248
01:06:43,099 --> 01:06:45,634
She said, "Financially, he left me good."

1249
01:06:45,701 --> 01:06:48,170
She said,
"I had double indemnity insurance on him,

1250
01:06:48,237 --> 01:06:51,040
meaning if he died in an accident,
I got double the money."

1251
01:06:51,107 --> 01:06:52,742
"So financially, I'm good."

1252
01:06:52,808 --> 01:06:55,711
She said, "As a matter of fact,
I'm gonna take an early retirement,

1253
01:06:55,778 --> 01:06:58,647
open up me a little boutique
just to give me something to do."

1254
01:06:58,714 --> 01:07:00,349
I said, "So you're not gonna move?"

1255
01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:03,886
She said, "Mm-mm. I'mma stay here.
I'mma stay here and live my life."

1256
01:07:03,953 --> 01:07:05,721
"I might even get married again."

1257
01:07:05,788 --> 01:07:07,223
I said, "Are you serious?"

1258
01:07:07,289 --> 01:07:08,591
She said, "Hell yeah."

1259
01:07:08,657 --> 01:07:10,359
"'Cause at the end of the day…"

1260
01:07:10,426 --> 01:07:12,061
Pussy still good.

1261
01:07:12,628 --> 01:07:14,830
Y'all, my name is Sommore.

1262
01:07:14,897 --> 01:07:17,066
Thank y'all for coming.
I appreciate y'all.

1263
01:07:18,667 --> 01:07:19,969
Thank y'all.

1264
01:07:23,139 --> 01:07:24,106
Thank y'all.

1265
01:07:25,107 --> 01:07:26,275
Appreciate it.

1266
01:07:26,942 --> 01:07:30,446
Chandelier fly
Oh my

1267
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:32,782
Chandelier fly

1268
01:08:10,219 --> 01:08:14,957
Chandelier fly
Oh my, oh my