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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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(科米)

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什麼事?

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- 羅夫?
- 什麼事?

6
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,437
你這段時間都在彈琴嗎?

7
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,273
你以為是什麼?

8
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,567
你腦海中的懷舊集錦嗎?

9
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,026
我們又要表演了,青蛙

10
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對哦

11
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斯庫特,時候到了

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沒問題,老大

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莎賓娜卡本特,30秒後開演,卡本特小姐

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卡本特小姐?

15
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謝謝你,斯庫特

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天啊,是妳,我好愛妳的衣服

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我也是,妳得換衣服

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是,女士

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那是我的假髮嗎?

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我不戴假髮的,這是我的真髮

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我也一樣

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- 不,我...我知道
- 不,我知道妳知道

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- 很好
- 好

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《大青蛙布偶秀:特別場》

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歡迎觀賞《大青蛙布偶秀:特別場》
特別嘉賓是莎賓娜卡本特

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該演奏音樂,該點亮燈光

27
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該見見今晚登場的布偶了

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該化好妝容,該好好打扮

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該揭開今晚《大青蛙布偶秀》的序幕了

30
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我們幹嘛老是來這裡?

31
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這個問題大概永遠無解

32
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被迫看這場秀

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有點像酷刑

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但現在讓我們開演吧

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你們快開演吧

36
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該開演了

37
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最令人驚嘆、鼓舞人心
歡欣喜悅、布偶天成

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這就是我們的《大青蛙布偶秀》

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謝謝...謝謝

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大家好,歡迎觀賞《大青蛙布偶秀》

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{\an8}我們很高興能回到這個舞台
一切就是從這裡開始

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{\an8}然後結束,然後

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{\an8}可能會再次開始,看今晚表現如何囉

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他們居然要重演老戲碼

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好好的何必改

46
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不,他們是好窮,所以才會來表演

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好,為我們開場的是

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我們的特別來賓

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轟動樂壇的創作歌手,世界級的巨星

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獨一無二的莎賓娜卡本特

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安靜點,一群混混

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快點,丟他

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住手,否則趕你們出去

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別擔心,山姆,交給我

55
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你說手機壞了,其實是忘了充電

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你這身行頭,天啊,希望你是在搞笑

57
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你剛說你完事了?
我都不知道我們開始了

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這一切都太熟悉了,寶貝,是什麼來著?

59
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- 愚蠢
- 咕咕

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- 還是遲鈍?
- 咕

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- 也許是沒用?
- 咕咕

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但有個更可愛的詞

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- 咕?
- 我知道

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巨嬰男

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你為什麼總是跑來找我?

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我還要過活

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饒了這個無辜的女人吧

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從沒聽過「自我照顧」

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你的腦容量只有一半

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巨嬰男

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你為什麼總是跑來找我?打消我所有的

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我喜歡男生搞點欲擒故縱

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也喜歡男人軟弱無能

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我發誓是他們選了我,不是我選了他們

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- 阿們,男人們
- 咕咕

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巨嬰男

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你為什麼總是跑來找我?

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我還要過活

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00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:31,748
饒了這個無辜的女人吧

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我喜歡男生搞點欲擒故縱

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也喜歡男人軟弱無能

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阿們,男人們

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真厲害

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- 我喜歡,再來
- 對,太棒了

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好令人興奮的開場,科米叔叔

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做得好,雞群,風扇的事真的很抱歉

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我好羞愧

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- 斯庫特,過來
- 好

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後台怎麼這麼擁擠?

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這些都是表演名單上的人,老大

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你確定我批准那名單了嗎?

92
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還有更多呢

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我們快走,該上台了

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記得大家多期待參與我們首場回歸秀嗎?

95
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你還一直跟他們說
他們的表演聽起來很有趣

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斯庫特,大家都知道「聽起來很有趣」

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是一種委婉拒絕的方式

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對,還蠻隱晦的,老大

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這可能會造成問題

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好,下一個找我談的人一定會被刪掉

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科米

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不好意思,藝人要過

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哪裡有藝人?

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- 我,我就是...
- 誰?

105
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科米,重回劇院
為人們送上他們真正想看的

106
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是不是很美妙?

107
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也就是我

108
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祝你好運

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斯庫特?

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是啊,豬豬,說起來這場秀...有點長

111
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而且妳似乎有兩場表演

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沒錯,關於音樂表演

113
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當我以愛神造型從巨型貝殼中現身

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那三百個跳舞的斯巴達人一定要知道

115
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衝出特洛伊木馬的時機就是我的降B高音

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對,我只是隨口提一下

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但妳認為那些精確的歷史考據
會搶妳的風頭嗎?

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不會

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科米

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我不小心聽到了,因為我在偷看你們

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我可以幫你刪減節目內容

122
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真的嗎?謝了,你有什麼想法?

123
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從頭頂剪一些如何?

124
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道具喜劇現在可能幫不了我們,福滋

125
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那我只好戴上我的思考帽了

126
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- 喜歡嗎?如何?
- 當然

127
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如果它能讓你想到刪減節目內容的方法

128
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沒問題,我已經有點子了

129
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,497
塞斯羅根

130
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福滋,這太棒了

131
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我一直夢想能登上這個舞台

132
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,671
你有其他夢想嗎?

133
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,715
這是什麼意思?

134
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,842
你被刪掉了

135
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,094
什麼?刪掉?我是執行製作人耶

136
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,055
那請你通知自己,我們要改變路線了

137
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下一位表演者是世界上
最無所畏懼的冒險家兼行為藝術家

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00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:47,610
他多年來都不斷撼動觀眾與保險公司的心

139
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,946
讓我們歡迎偉大的貢佐

140
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謝謝,感激不盡

141
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看啊,是我,偉大的貢佐

142
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:02,000
今晚我要嘗試以自動駕駛的溜冰鞋

143
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,419
挑戰這條致命的障礙賽道

144
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同時背出奧斯卡金像獎

145
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所有的最佳女配角獎得主

146
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點燃火圈

147
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放開刀片

148
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,441
表演現在開始

149
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,611
歌蒂韓、露琵塔尼詠歐、莎莉溫德絲

150
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:34,949
那樣真痛苦

151
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,409
他痛苦還是我們痛苦?

152
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,494
都痛苦

153
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,792
現在請觀賞《戴假髮的豬》

154
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:58,389
美乃滋三明治郡的豬格頓公爵夫人

155
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:07,190
費料勳爵和...他的女伴

156
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,483
什麼?

157
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:09,984
親愛的

158
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,573
多耀眼的晚宴啊,親愛的

159
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:19,494
妳好嗎?很高興見到妳

160
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,205
她竟然還敢在這裡露臉

161
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:27,001
好時髦的裝扮
我愛死那個莫名其妙的玩意了

162
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,796
看來今晚的服裝規定只是建議而已

163
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,466
親愛的,妳真是個小惡魔

164
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:40,473
你能行行好,幫我拿杯飲料嗎?拜託

165
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,936
當然好,我的小鬆餅,我馬上回來

166
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,115
我的愛人,可以浮上水面了

167
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,491
豬豬

168
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,327
我忘了跟妳說
我們得重新幫妳的愛人選角

169
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,872
什麼?誰啊?

170
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,707
妳好啊

171
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,960
你們一定是在開玩笑

172
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,879
我跟妳一樣困惑,好嗎?

173
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,631
好啦,我們繼續演吧

174
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,928
愛人,我是多麼想念你那棱角分明的下巴

175
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:25,560
你那烏黑濃密的秀髮
還有強壯有力的臂膀

176
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,936
妳在跟我說話嗎?

177
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,021
對

178
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,106
找到妳了,親愛的

179
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,526
你是哪位,閣下?

180
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,694
我不知道

181
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,531
我本來在後面閒聊
有人卻幫我套上這件怪外套

182
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,158
把我推到台上,好嗎?

183
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,869
糟了,我被逮到了

184
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,289
這下讓我難以抉擇的

185
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,541
正牌愛人和祕密愛人

186
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:53,963
必須決鬥至死
只因他們如此瘋狂地愛著我

187
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:58,301
對,說到這個
我應該告訴妳,我邂逅了一個人

188
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,553
什麼?什麼時候?

189
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,056
剛剛在切肉台那邊

190
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:06,809
我知道才過了幾秒鐘,但那是真愛

191
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,395
這是怎麼回事?

192
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,148
妳聽到他的話了,那是愛情
恭喜你,朋友

193
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,818
謝謝,我們好幸福哦

194
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:20,198
算了,我要離開這裡,免得把臉丟光

195
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,543
兩位的投擲物

196
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,379
太遲了,短劇結束了

197
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:38,007
你還是把它們留下吧,這場秀還很長

198
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,217
真是不幸

199
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:46,015
好,羽毛黏好了
等它乾了再抱人,下一位

200
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,558
好,各位

201
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:53,606
你們的名字都按明確順序
列在這份演出流程表上

202
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,193
只要我手上拿著這份名單

203
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,404
這場秀就會順利進行

204
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,115
奧林匹亞杜卡琪斯、莫妮克

205
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,412
你這麼做好像在挑戰命運

206
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,417
好,謝謝各位

207
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,587
接下來的音樂表演,我們要走上街頭

208
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,632
鼠患橫行的街頭

209
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,851
我一直打電話給妳

210
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,271
- 我獨自度日已經夠久
- 快拿到了

211
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:38,067
也許妳能讓我學會如何愛人,也許

212
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,154
我正在經歷戒斷反應

213
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,532
妳根本不用多費力氣

214
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:49,370
輕輕一碰就能點燃我的情慾,寶貝

215
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:54,208
我環顧四周,這罪惡之城冰冷又空虛

216
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,211
附近沒有人會批判我

217
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:01,632
沒有妳,我看什麼都不清晰

218
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:07,638
我說,這燈光讓我睜不開眼

219
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:11,893
沒有妳的觸碰,我無法入眠

220
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:18,816
我說,我沉溺在這夜色之中

221
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,945
在這種時刻,妳是我唯一信賴的人

222
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:35,541
我說,這燈光讓我睜不開眼

223
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:40,129
沒有妳的觸碰,我無法入眠

224
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,768
- 去抓鳥
- 我抓到鳥了

225
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,269
你有沒有看到...

226
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:03,236
抱歉,聲帶休息中,不能說話
聲帶休息中

227
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,488
斯庫特,這裡怎麼了?

228
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,156
我是下一個吧?

229
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:11,285
科米不得不刪掉妳的表演,豬小姐
他沒跟妳說嗎?

230
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,996
什麼?看起來像他有跟我說嗎?

231
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,417
你以為我穿這雙羅馬鞋
是為了足部健康嗎?

232
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,128
應該不是

233
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,339
科米

234
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,760
對,能回來真好

235
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,972
很抱歉剛才出了點狀況

236
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,932
我們還在處理一些小毛病

237
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,309
沒關係,有病才好玩

238
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,313
我只是想說

239
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,816
我們真的很榮幸今晚能跟妳同台

240
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,900
你在說笑嗎?

241
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,735
能來這裡是美夢成真

242
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,863
我今晚大可去世上的任何地方

243
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,990
我婉拒了普立茲獎

244
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:53,035
讓我的臉鑄在新的25分硬幣上
還有第二次約會,對象是...

245
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:54,954
真的嗎?

246
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,540
- 他單身?
- 不是

247
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,960
但我現在只想待在這裡

248
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,044
沒什麼能...

249
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,797
開門,青蛙

250
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,132
- 抱歉...
- 她知道了,老大

251
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,300
好像有人在門外

252
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,679
那個?

253
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,724
不,那是...只是劇院太老舊而已

254
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,727
這些管線有時候蠻吵的

255
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:20,563
他在哪裡?

256
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:21,647
(更衣室)

257
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,107
門根本沒上鎖

258
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,568
我知道你在這裡,青蛙

259
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:26,861
豬小姐?

260
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,906
妳一定聽到膩了,其實我之前就想跟妳說

261
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,490
妳是我的偶像

262
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:36,454
對,我的打扮和風格都是模仿妳的

263
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,958
相信我,我跟我的律師團已經注意到
我們會跟妳聯繫的

264
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:45,838
我會確保我的律師團回應...妳的律師團的

265
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,633
妳有聽到嗎?

266
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,553
科米說劇院很老舊,管線有點吵

267
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,514
是嗎?科米還說了什麼?

268
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,975
他有提到他刪掉我重要的表演了嗎?

269
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,061
什麼?不,太扯了

270
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,230
沒有豬小姐的表演
就不叫《大青蛙布偶秀》

271
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,648
一點也沒錯

272
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,358
真希望他能親耳聽到

273
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,235
門好重

274
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:08,694
真遺憾

275
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:12,114
妳不該失去任何一秒的上鏡時間
妳是傳奇人物

276
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,660
別說了,妳太窩心了,繼續

277
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:20,122
我從小看妳的表演長大
我爸媽從小看妳的表演長大

278
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,334
- 他們的爸媽從小...
- 好,見面會結束了

279
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,169
要是科米敢現身

280
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:29,340
妳跟他說,我要在這場秀獻唱

281
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,719
- 幫幫我
- 不,對哦

282
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,846
你還好嗎?抱歉

283
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,014
我忘了你在底下

284
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,475
我沒事,莎賓娜,我...

285
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,977
這種事比妳想像的更常見

286
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,687
斯庫特

287
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,398
你知道流程的,再弄扇門進來吧

288
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,607
已經在處理了,老大

289
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,153
其實我見過科米幾次

290
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,738
他真的非常討喜

291
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,449
我見過一大堆名人

292
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,742
很多都是混蛋

293
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,161
但科米不是

294
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:03,624
- 我是大混蛋嗎?
- 對,但沒那麼大啦

295
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,794
對了,我是瑪雅

296
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,979
歡迎來到布偶實驗室,未來的誕生之地

297
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:29,817
我是邦森蜜瓜博士
這位是我無畏的助手倒楣鬼

298
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,242
今天我們要對抗一種現代流行病:分心

299
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,204
這年頭,一切都在爭奪你的目光

300
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,541
行動裝置、電視,還有我們不看它們時

301
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:49,295
不斷佔據我們腦海的日常恐懼

302
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,173
現在你可以輕鬆地集中精力

303
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:55,676
只要有我最新的發明「專心汁汁」

304
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,471
每隻眼睛滴一滴這種精華液

305
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,432
你的專注力就會指數級增長

306
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,770
倒楣鬼,回來,坐在凳子上

307
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,147
- 什麼?
- 對,很好

308
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,316
我要輕輕地把凳子降低

309
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,069
來吧

310
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,321
小小一滴,我一點都不會痛

311
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,866
好了,沒事了

312
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:24,497
哎呀,這效果可能有一點太強了

313
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,798
我可能沒把它稀釋得當

314
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,008
我看看,我把它寫在哪裡了?

315
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,765
真有意思

316
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,225
{\an8}這標註了「緊急」

317
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:45,976
{\an8}應該沒關係

318
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:54,235
倒楣鬼...倒楣鬼,停下來

319
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,321
- 真令人振奮
- 令人振奮

320
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,949
我覺得我充滿活力

321
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,909
身為表演者...

322
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,831
瑪雅?瑪雅

323
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,374
斯庫特

324
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,418
我媽咪今晚也在觀眾席

325
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,503
我什麼時候上台?斯庫特

326
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,463
我馬上就準備好,只要...

327
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,468
哇,你還好嗎,科米?

328
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,928
還好

329
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,888
因為你看起來有點緊繃

330
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:26,392
你的脈輪完全失去平衡了

331
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,478
妳說得對,我確實有點壓力

332
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,188
謝謝妳的關心

333
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:37,319
好說,因為我能感應氣場
而你的氣場很糟糕

334
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,990
- 是嗎?
- 是的

335
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,992
我們要吸氣...

336
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,829
要這麼做是嗎?

337
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,209
賈妮斯?我能吐氣了嗎?

338
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,046
賈妮斯?

339
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,384
其實,我確實覺得好一點了

340
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,595
彷彿情況即將好轉

341
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,473
{\an8}為您插播《布偶快訊》

342
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,934
{\an8}曾獲艾美獎的喜劇天后瑪雅魯道夫死了

343
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,438
什麼?

344
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,609
我看到那道光,那裡有一條靈魂之河

345
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,028
還有一道火牆

346
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,655
我本來在為一個紅衣男
準備頒獎典禮開場白

347
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,701
聽起來像天堂,對吧?

348
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:30,206
{\an8}我修正,曾獲艾美獎的
喜劇天后瑪雅魯道夫活著

349
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,290
{\an8}(瑪雅魯道夫死亡)

350
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,374
{\an8}(瑪雅魯道夫活著)

351
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,543
{\an8}有東西掉到她身上,讓她復活了

352
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,004
{\an8}請繼續關注更多重磅新聞

353
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:40,216
{\an8}...琥碧戈柏、安潔莉卡休斯頓
克蘿麗絲莉姬曼

354
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,843
這場秀不算糟

355
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,595
對,是糟透了

356
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:03,322
寶貝,當我遇見妳,我心從未如此平靜

357
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:07,952
我細心周到地追求妳

358
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:10,663
我的心變得溫柔

359
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:14,291
美好之事正在發生

360
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:23,843
你對我有無法解釋的影響

361
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:27,471
緊緊抱著我,我就不會感到痛苦

362
00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:30,307
我心臟的每次跳動

363
00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:34,186
都是我們的愛在萌芽

364
00:22:37,231 --> 00:22:39,525
溪流中的島嶼

365
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,610
就是我們的寫照

366
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:46,532
沒人能介入,我們的愛怎會有錯?

367
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:48,784
與我一同揚帆

368
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,704
航向另一個世界

369
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:56,625
- 我們互相依賴
- 你休想刪掉我的戲份

370
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:01,046
水手間的承諾

371
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:07,344
若這愛的小船不在,我將無法獨活

372
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:09,138
如果沒人陪伴

373
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,724
一切都是虛無

374
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:17,980
你只會在夜裡划行,逐漸看不見真愛

375
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,899
真愛

376
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:33,871
但我們不會碰上,我們深信不疑

377
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:38,834
此刻妳在船上,而我驚慌失措

378
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,920
這訊息再清晰不過

379
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:44,673
今年或許就是真愛降臨之年

380
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,467
真愛

381
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,012
- 溪流中的島嶼
- 島嶼

382
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,514
- 就是我們的寫照
- 一同揚帆

383
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,475
沒人能介入

384
00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:57,186
我們的愛怎會有錯?

385
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:59,897
- 與我一同揚帆
- 一同揚帆

386
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,358
航向另一個世界

387
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,277
我們互相依賴

388
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:10,157
天后間的承諾

389
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:23,504
妳好

390
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:27,508
我必須說,跟妳合唱一直是我的夢想

391
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,386
現在我做到了,而我還這麼年輕

392
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:34,890
對,跟我一樣,我很年輕,非常年輕

393
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:38,644
看看我們,兩個正值巔峰的年輕新星

394
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:48,529
這代表我們沒事了嗎?

395
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:51,073
妳不會控告我剽竊妳的造型吧?

396
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,409
這叫侵犯著作權,親愛的

397
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,828
當然不會告妳了

398
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,872
真的要由律師團決定

399
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,085
我正在竭盡所能

400
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:06,422
...其中一項表演,我們儘量公平

401
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:09,299
- 我們儘量公平對待大家
- 我知道

402
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:10,801
好,大家都別說了

403
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:15,764
只剩一項表演的時間了

404
00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:17,641
- 什麼?
- 一項?

405
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,309
但是哪一項,老大?

406
00:25:19,393 --> 00:25:21,311
你要怎麼選?

407
00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:23,647
他們怎麼這麼慢?

408
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:33,449
聽著,你們信任我嗎?

409
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:38,912
我們當然信任你,科米
這傢伙可能不信啦

410
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:41,874
我以前吃過虧

411
00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:47,129
好...給我一分鐘,好嗎?

412
00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,256
- 你要去哪裡?等等...
- 好,借過,抱歉

413
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:51,759
- 他...要做什麼?
- 科米?

414
00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:59,475
大家好,目前為止都還好嗎?

415
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:06,273
我不能說這場秀完全按照計畫進行

416
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:08,942
潔美李寇蒂斯、蕾吉娜金恩

417
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:14,448
重點是,也許我們有點生疏了

418
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:18,786
但我們承諾要為各位獻上精彩大秀

419
00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:23,123
希望你們至少能享受部分演出

420
00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,130
現在到了尾聲

421
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:34,259
各位大概都在猜壓軸表演是什麼

422
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,762
其實,我本來應該上來

423
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,640
宣布在後台等候的表演者之一

424
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:47,022
但...很抱歉,我不會那麼做

425
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,944
看吧?沒人靠得住

426
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,284
今晚

427
00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:05,249
我們將盡情享受真正的美好時光

428
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:11,213
我充滿了活力

429
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:18,720
我要翻轉整個世界

430
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,097
好耶

431
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:24,101
我漂浮在狂喜之中

432
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:25,561
所以...

433
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:30,816
現在別阻止我,別阻止我

434
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:33,819
因為我們玩得正開心,玩得正開心

435
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:37,781
我是流星,像老虎般躍過天空

436
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:40,868
公然違抗地心引力

437
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,829
我是呼嘯而過的賽車

438
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,956
就像戈黛娃夫人

439
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:52,296
我要衝衝衝,因為我完全不想停下來

440
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,839
別阻止我,別阻止我

441
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:56,842
別阻止我,別阻止我

442
00:27:58,468 --> 00:27:59,803
別阻止我,別阻止我

443
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,015
別阻止我,別阻止我

444
00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:05,100
玩得正開心,開心

445
00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:10,647
別阻止,別阻止

446
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:15,319
現在別阻止我,因為我玩得正開心

447
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:16,570
現在別阻止我

448
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:22,784
因為我玩得正開心,我完全不想停下來

449
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:33,295
太棒了,我們做到了,好耶

450
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:36,590
其實我有點受不了,他們想刪我的表演

451
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:39,051
卻留著這隻穿芭蕾舞裙的犰狳

452
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:41,970
我根本沒看過那傢伙

453
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:44,348
他不是官方角色

454
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:47,267
我們的時間差不多到了

455
00:28:47,351 --> 00:28:48,769
但在結束前

456
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:53,315
讓我們以熱烈掌聲感謝超棒的嘉賓
莎賓娜卡本特

457
00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:55,359
好耶

458
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:56,443
謝謝你,科米

459
00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:58,820
妳跟我們非常合拍,莎賓娜

460
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,657
- 我們身高一樣,很有幫助
- 說得好

461
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,992
黛安薇絲特

462
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,120
各位晚安

463
00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:09,831
{\an8}下回《大青蛙布偶秀》見

464
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,337
柔伊莎達娜

465
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:54,042
我的左臂突然刺痛起來,不知道怎麼搞的

466
00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:56,420
我只能說,絕對不是鼓掌造成的

467
00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:04,720
字幕翻譯:宋梅君



