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This world is a tough place, my dear.
It changes color everyday.
A wise man once said,
"The best way to live your life is to blend in with the color of the world."
And this world is run only by one color.
The color of money!
Where there's money, there's fame. Where there's money, there's respect.
Where there's money, there's life.
My ma always tells me, "Son, money isn't everything."
And I just say, "Ma, money really is everything."
Ask those who don't have it, and just look at those who do!
They have a unique swag!
For instance, just look at this fella.
Not easy on the eyes, and a face only a mother could love.
But his pocket's full of money.
So the world asks him,"how are you honey?"
Make sure the building doesn't have any of these...
Mr. Sheikh!
His building is next door.
Salaam, Mr. Sheikh.
All dandy?
Yes, Billu. All set?
Both set and fit.
But right now...
dad's sent a message for you.
It's of a very serious nature.
Billu, my dear. Can you even spell "serious"?
So get on with it.
He says...
-"Where's my money?" -Money?
What money?
The money you took.
Ever plan on returning it?
So, you've come for the money?
Come here.
Forward this message to your father with utmost respect.
What message?
For now, keep this.
If he wants the rest, tell him to come get it himself.
And tell him, "Butt, your better days are yet to come!"
I'll tell on you!
You don't know who I am!
-How do I look? -Very nice.
-You're also looking nice. -Thank you.
It has started, right?
Can you hear me?
In the name of Allah, most gracious, most merciful.
So, Mr. Butt, what are your plans for the betterment of your constituency,
and of women's rights in your area?
Quote Allama Iqbal.
Dream...
Mr. Butt, "Dream..."
Dream!
It's a wonderful thing to dream. Everyone has dreams.
I am sure you do too.
Allama Iqbal also had a dream.
What? Billu got smacked!
That Billu got smacked!
No! That's not what you had to say!
Oh, for God's sake, please stop!
He got slapped for real, Mr. Butt.
He got slapped for real.
What? Did he really get smacked?
Excuse me! Could you please cut the shot?
-I'll be right back. -Okay.
Ashfaaq!
Mr. Butt, I am right here!
What happened? Who got slapped?
Billu got slapped.
Billu got slapped?
I hope nobody saw!
-I don't know about that. -Who the hell slapped him?
-Sheikh! -Sheikh! That...
-What happened? -Something about someone's mother.
What are you staring at? Call Teefa!
-Okay. -Hurry the hell up! Call him!
Where are you?
Need you to get to the job right now!
Billu just got smacked!
Sheikh, that son of a gun! He slapped my son!
He is even getting away with my money! Get him!
Chill out, Mr. Butt. I am on it.
Sheikh, you son of a gun! You won't get away with this!
Who are you talking to?
Your aunt May!
Salaam, Mr. Sheikh!
Teefa?
Where are you headed?
Keep moving.
Mr. Sheikh, let's just get out of here.
Where are you going?
This here, is one expensive kulfi I've got for you.
With some cream in it. Want some?
I am so done with Butt.
Look, I am telling you, don't get involved.
You're smart, aren't you?
Mr. Sheikh, I am also telling you--
Don't worry, Mr. Sheikh. Go ahead, I'll take care of this punk.
Looks like no one really believes in talking anymore!
I mean, don't you have some manners or etiquette?
Didn't your mama teach you anything, you punks?
You know what they say. "Spare the rod, spoil the child."
Finish him!
Now, if you all had stayed in school you wouldn't be up to this!
The teacher must now resort to the rod.
So, shall we begin?
Where's the key? Put the key in!
He's down, Mr. Sheikh!
-Put the key in, you idiot! -Yes.
He's mopping the floor with them!
There goes my money!
Mr. Sheikh, the car won't start!
Hurry up!
Thank God! Hurry up, you idiot! Faster!
He won't leave us alone! Stubborn lad!
Turn, hurry up!
Drive faster!
Move!
Watch out! You'll wreck the car!
Don't you dare move, you scoundrel!
Easy on the hand, ma'am!
Where did she come from?
Damn you, woman! My money's on the line!
Get out of the way!
Get away! Are you crazy?
That curry smells nice.
Could you save a little for me? I'll be back before you know it.
Go, go!
Mr. Sheikh, you really should have had that kulfi.
Don't grab me by the collar!
Mr. Sheikh!
I swear to god, you can take my life...
but I won't give you the money!
Mr. Sheikh, I don't want your life. I want the money!
But if you insist, I'll go for your life.
Teefa, my dear...
How about we play a game?
Six bullets, right?
Well...
now, we got five.
If it doesn't fire, the money's all yours.
But if it does,
I guess we know who'll be keeping the money.
Teefa, my son. My dearest!
Please don't fire. No, no! Son, please don't fire!
No! No!
Mr. Sheikh!
Teefa, my son, I knew you wouldn't fire at me.
Mr. Sheikh, if only one was as lucky as you.
But only if they could be as despicable as I am.
If I may?
You sure?
Why, thank you!
Teefa, don't you dare forget this day!
Oh, I almost forgot!
Mr. Butt had sent a message for you.
He said...
Teefa, my darling, you're going to remember this.
-Wow, Mr. Butt. -Here you go.
This is for you, fresh from the mountain!
Exactly 20. Count them.
What's the point?
If you're saying they're 20, I am sure they'd be 20.
You should know, I never trust anybody.
But if I do, I trust blindly.
But...
don't you ever break it.
No, Mr.Butt, we're your children.
-Here's your dessert. -Wow!
Wonderful.
Mr. Butt, just don't forget your promise.
What promise?
You forgot? My restaurant!
What are you saying! How can I forget?
"Teefa's Tikkas!"
"The best in the world!"
Done, my son!
I've been fixing things for you since you were a kid.
How can I possibly forget this?
Alright, Mr. Butt. May I take your leave?
Sure.
-Say hi to your mother on my behalf. -Absolutely!
They say, "sweet's good for you."
I'd say take a couple more for the road!
Why is it always me who has to wait for you?
And why do we always eat here?
When you know, why do you ask?
-Anya, please act normal today. -Keep watching, I'll be really cool.
We'll see how "cool" you are.
-Anya! -Is he coming here?
Yeah, he is and he looks hot as hell!
What did I do, Sara?
-No, go ahead. Act cooler please. -What is he gonna think of me?
I am the biggest idiot in this world!
You sure are.
Looks like someone's hitting on someone.
Tell him to get in line.
We ain't here for nothing!
Damn those eyes!
Why don't you look here again?
Does baby want a look-see?
Dad, I swear. I just tried to talk to him.
I'm gonna kill you! Just try and come at me again!
Don't you trust me?
I didn't even touch him!
Sister, can you please just give me a chance to talk!
That guy's in the hospital.
And the restaurant's lodging a case against you.
Against me? Me!
Dad, a case should be lodged against that guy!
He has no manners!
Wow!
So, you've had a sudden epiphany about "manners"?
Great! This is all I needed right now!
Behave! She's your mom!
Anya!
It wouldn't have come to this if she had any manners.
Anyway, Commissioner Joe is handling the case.
We'll find out everything.
Here, talk to him.
Teefa! You're here?
-Why don't you say something? -Ma, how are you?
Teefa, look!
I've cooked some delicious vegetable curry for you!
-Almost ready! -Ma, did you forget?
It's Friday!
Today, I get to be your cook,
and you just relax and watch some TV.
But the TV hasn't been working since that last power cut!
Really? Why don't you check? It might be working now.
I checked this morning!
Well, why don't you check again for me tonight?
Alright, if you say so.
Oh! Teefa, what's this?
LED TV! The big screen!
-So pretty! -Check this out!
Come, sit! I'll show you!
Sit down.
I'll show you. Check this out.
You can watch all your favorite programs whenever you want!
-Lovely! -What do you want to watch?
Films? Dramas? Cooking shows? Whatever you want!
Tell me.
Are you enjoying it?
Yes, I am.
But tell me something, where did this come from?
Ma, I've told you so many times.
Don't bother with the details, just enjoy.
Son, even if you do the right thing by wrong means,
it'll always be wrong.
Ma, why do you get so serious all the time? Let it be!
Just taste this curry for me. Does it taste good?
Listen to your me. Let go of what you're doing.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness.
Yes, Ma. You're right!
Darkness cannot drive out the darkness.
But a UPS can, right?
And a UPS comes from money. And if we'd bought one,
we wouldn't be playing "Dark Room" every night.
Look, Ma.
I try to explain certain things to you, but you don't get it.
You know what that is?
These "things" bring you peace,
and these "things" come with money, okay?
Listen to me.
I want to see you at peace, why don't you understand?
Money can't buy you peace, my son. Only love can.
This is something you'll only find in books, Ma.
I've explained you a thousand times.
You just ruin the mood!
Let me taste that curry.
Here, try to enjoy your life.
Looks like you have an excellent teacher. Who is it?
There's this hot auntie, goes by the name Surraiyya.
Oh God!
Stop it!
It's you, Ma. You mean the world to me.
Whatever I do, it's just for you.
Yeah, Sara. And this time, it's pretty serious.
Dad was so pissed, he said...
Anya is getting out of control!
Well, she already is.
Then?
Then what? That Sophie!
She was at the same joint again, running behind that "Andy" fella!
I've been telling you to get her married.
If things get out of hands, you'll regret it!
Are you sure he's the right guy for Anya?
Bilal? But he's a baldy!
How can you even compare Andy and his deep blue eyes
with that egghead!
Just think about your business prospects with Bajwa.
I can't even imagine.
But one thing's for sure. I'd rather die than get married!
Listen, I have an idea.
Sounds like a good idea.
But how are we going to do this?
Engagement, then straight to the wedding ceremony.
When?
Imagine! You, Andy, his guitar and the lake.
Anya will get married and just leave?
Listen, what about Butt?
He's my oldest friend and has hopes for his son.
Don't you think that it's time to clear things out?
You're talking to him on Skype tomorrow, right?
Then talk about this.
If not now, then when?
Yes.
I'll talk to him.
Khalida, why isn't this working?
Are the pipes blocked or something?
In the name of God!
Damn! Is that how big my face is!
Well, then you have to give it to me
for being so patient with such a big face!
Alright!
You're wearing a suit? You think it's your father's reception?
Daddy, we're here for a marriage proposal, not a hockey match.
Oh my dearest, cutest son!
Oh, Basheera! Hello!
It's Bonzo. Bonzo, please.
But for me, you're Basheera, aren't you?
Look man, just look at how time's gone by.
That's what I'm telling you, Butt.
We should also be investing in new technology for our business!
Let go of the business for now!
I wanted to talk to you, about an important family matter.
Yeah, I think it's time.
You go first.
Look, Anya's all grown up, and so is my son, Billu.
Get lost.
So, as I was saying, it's time that the kids got married.
Right.
You're right! I was also going to say that--
See? He got it and I didn't even have to say anything.
That's how we've always been! Telepathic, I tell you!
Okay, tell me. What have you thought?
Butt, I've thought of getting Anya married.
That calls for a celebration!
Here, have these sweets! Open your mouth!
But, there's a problem.
You had told me to share my problems with you, remember?
Yes, but what's the problem?
The company's shares are selling off,
and I'm losing ownership of the business.
You remember Bajwa?
Yeah, the guy with the crooked nose?
Yeah, him.
He said that he'll buy the shares and help me retain my post and...
And? Get to the point, Basheera.
And...
Bajwa asked for my daughter's hand in marriage with his son Bilaal.
Oh! So, you're trying to ask me how to say no to them, right?
Right.
No, we had to say yes.
What do you mean, "you had to say yes"?
I mean, Anya's is tying the knot!
What? Anya's tying the knot?
Let alone that you could've asked me,
you didn't even tell me!
I was about to tell you, mate!
I am not your mate!
"About to tell you!" But did you?
Did you even ask?
Basheera, all my life...
I've done exactly what you asked me to.
And you are off to wed your daughter,
without even asking me?
You didn't care to inform! Right?
Right.
Butt, why are you being so emotional?
At least I have emotions to be emotional!
I am not cold-hearted like you!
Butt, can you just relax and listen to me?
I am not going to listen to you anymore!
All talks end right here, you horse-faced idiot!
Butt, please try to understand the situation.
I am not a man of "situations"!
I am a man of heart!
Did I have the time to understand the situation
when I starved my own children
so that I could save money to send you abroad?
Did I try understanding the situation
when Shauki's goons came to beat you up
and I stood tall to protect you?
How I took blows from their fists and hockey sticks!
Did I try understanding the situation then?
Butt!
In fact, I now understand,
that our friendship was never a sacred bond for you!
It was just business!
Butt, now you're crossing your limits.
Oh, you have no idea of what my limits are!
Now I dare you to get Anya married!
I'll see how you go through with it!
What?
What did you say?
You're challenging me to get Anya married?
Yes!
You damned son of a gun!
You think you can stop me?
You think you've made me?
Who the hell do you think you are!
I am the one who made you!
You used to sell freaking yoghurt dumplings on Multan Street!
Have you ever seen your son?
His face is bigger than entire my house!
You think I'll let Anya marry him?
I'll punch you right across the screen all the way to hell!
I'll... I'll not spare you!
I'll kick you in your damn face! You don't know who I am!
-Screw you! -I'll punch you hard!
Go to hell!
Butt, do whatever the hell you think you can!
Is that a challenge?
Well, I guess it is!
Then let's shake on it!
There you go!
Shut this damn thing!
Okay.
Daddy, I've never asked you guys for anything!
And the one time I did, you couldn't get it for me?
People are already making fun of me out there!
I had warned you!
Your friend is nothing but a greedy bastard!
Shut up! All you do is blabber!
That's it!
No one cares about me! I am going to shoot myself!
No, my son, don't!
Put the gun down. It does work sometimes, you know.
Oh God, my son is going to die!
-No, my son. Please don't do it. -Get back, Mommy!
Either you all get me married to my Anya or else I'll shoot myself!
You son of a gun! What do you want me to do?
-Should I just go and nab her? -Yes!
What! Have you lost it?
He's absolutely right!
You nab people all the time,
why can't you nab your daughter-in-law?
Both of you have gone mad, and you'll drag me to the crazy town too!
Why? Didn't you kidnap me as well?
What do you want?
That I should go and kidnap her myself?
When did I ask you to go?
Then who will go get her?
There you go, your pet's here.
Right?
-Right? -Right!
What?
No, Mr. Butt. I can't do this and you know it.
Dad, I can't get married and you know it.
Why not? This isn't the first time you're nabbing someone.
You just nabbed the sweetmeat, right?
Right.
Mr. Butt...
there's a difference between a girl and a sweetmeat.
I've never nabbed a girl, neither do I intend on it.
We're not kidnapping her. We're just bringing her home.
-Right? -Right.
Your mother and I believe that you won't find a better guy than him.
Oh, dear boy, she's our daughter.
What!
My boy, just worry about the money.
I give you five lakh rupees.
You will get all your wishes fulfilled in one go!
Think about it.
That means money's everything for you, right?
You are my daughter.
I know what's good, and what's bad for you.
And I've already said yes.
Now, it's a matter of our family's reputation.
Teefa, our munchkin's reputation is on the line!
-Right. -Mr. Butt, five lakh...
Five lakh rupees is a bit less for this job.
I'd have to think about it.
Teefa, we don't have time to think.
Alright, take ten lakhs and let's get it done with.
How foolish of me, that I couldn't see what you're trying to do for me.
But I see it now, Dad.
My boy, you always know your ways around our hearts!
Call Tony right now.
Confirm the six o'clock flight for the day after tomorrow.
My boy's flying off to Europe!
Why don't you believe me, you bloody idiot!
You know, desperate times, call for desperate measures.
What!
You can speak Urdu?
You're from Pakistan?
Okay, I am sort of stuck in the middle of something.
I'll call you back once I am free, you moron!
Oh, my God!
Do you speak French? Or, do you speak Polish?
Can you speak Urdu?
Oh, so you don't talk much.
Good! You won't yap all the time after we get married.
Hot as in, piping hot.
Some piping hot Tony and the realization
that you left Pakistan, but you are still rocking that pervert.
How's my brother doing?
-I was good until you arrived. -Well, I had to.
Man, I am really hungry.
They only served dates on the flight.
Come, I'll treat you to some refreshingly plain Polish air.
Okay, let's go.
Do you get to drink here?
Of course! But you got to buy the drink first.
One second. All that's fine, but Billu Butt...
wants to marry Anya?
Yes.
Wait, riddle me this.
What do you think will first enter the room on his wedding night?
Billu or his belly?
Billu's belly!
Listen.
Tell me, what's the plan?
The plan is...
The plan is so good that you'll remember it for the rest of your life.
Listen carefully.
-Bonzo lives... -Thank you.
Mention not. Bonzo lives in a mansion.
Which is patrolled by guards from all sides.
Rigged with lasers, and guarded by blood hounds.
And Anya lives inside of that mansion.
Anyone who's ever tried to trespass there, has never returned alive.
-And neither will you. -What are you saying!
I mean, how will you return without even stepping inside, Sherlock!
-I don't get it. -It means, you're not gonna step in.
She'll step out.
Every day, sharp at 11:00 a.m.,
Anya goes to the gym accompanied by her guards.
The guards wait outside.
And at 11:05, Anya begins her warm-up routine.
And you'll be there posing as her trainer.
Tony, can't we do something about the outfit?
No!
As soon as the warm-up finishes,
you'll make her do her first set of squats.
Tony, what are you thinking?
How many of these do we have to do?
Tony!
-Tony! -Yes?
Tony?
Oh, yes!
After the squats, you're going to spike her water.
-Is this the sedative? -No, this is just for the demo.
And as soon as she drinks the water, she'll faint.
And fall right into your arms.
-You don't say? -But I do.
And then Tony will enter.
Then I'll start the fire alarm.
Which will cause chaos at the gym.
Taking advantage of this situation, you'll quickly wheel Anya out of the gym
from the back door, into the alley.
And your brother will be waiting right outside with your fake travel documents.
-My brother? -Me, I am your brother.
And with those fake documents you'll land straight in Lahore!
No way!
-Damn right! -Tony, you're not human!
You're a treasure!
I feel like burying you into the pits of the earth!
I'm taking you to the skies and you're dragging me into the dirt?
I'm just kidding! Don't mind me.
Alright, next round's on me!
Lucy, two pints, and bill this gentlemen right here.
Tony, do you know the difference between desis and the white folk?
Desis can't handle their alcohol!
I am dying! God forgive me!
Tony, we've handled it just fine!
Tony, why don't they ban alcohol here as well?
-That's what I miss about our country. -What? The alcohol?
-No, the ban. -Oh damn!
-Yeah, man! -Tony?
I think the class has ended.
All the girls are out but she's not here.
What if her parents banned her from the gym?
Now you're getting me worried.
Don't worry, I'll just check on it.
Tony? Yes?
-So? -So!
I just solved our girl's mystery!
Why isn't she here?
She's getting married today!
What the hell are you saying? She's getting married today!
What's so shocking about it?
I mean if you were getting married, would you have come to the gym?
Do you have any idea what you're saying!
What now?
She'll get married, go for a honeymoon, maybe have a son--
Son of a bitch!
Why would she have a son of a bitch?
She'll have a human child!
Tony, your plan crashed before it took off!
Screw you, man!
It happens, Teefa. You don't have to spit at me.
There goes my ten lakh rupees!
What will I tell Mr. Butt?
Teefa, you're worrying as if she was your Juliet!
-Hello, Teefa! -Waist, 28 inches.
Ankle, 12.
Salaam, Mr. Butt.
Everything's under control.
Except for this tiny problem...
that nothing's under control.
What?
The girl's getting married today,
and we were just here to nab her from her gym,
but she didn't show up. Tony just told me.
but if you want we can drop off some flowers at her place.
I thought, it'll look good on your side as you're old friends.
Maybe I can drop off some red or white roses.
Teefa, go there right now and get her here!
This marriage is impossible!
-Dad! -Fatso, I'm not talking to you!
Never knew your dad also gets fits.
Teefa, listen to me very carefully.
Till now you've only seen my kindness.
Not my wrath.
If you don't bring my daughter here, I will...
And this is for all the special mothers out there!
Is everything okay?
Don't worry...
Good news is, that I can't go inside, because everyone knows me here.
And the bad news is, you can't go inside, because nobody knows you!
So do you, Tony.
Your brother has learned from 007 himself.
There was your plan, now here's mine.
Clear.
Excuse me, brother.
I wanted to say, what a nice jacket!
A few hours from now,
our partnership will transform into a life partnership.
What are you serving?
Sir, there's some bread, eggs, and also some strawberry.
How do I look?
Wow!
If your mom were alive, she--
Oh, Dad! So what if she's not here? At least you are.
But, even you won't be around anymore.
Don't say such things.
I am wherever you are.
Hello, Sara. He's here.
Where were you?
-In the closet? -What were you doing in there?
We are already late, hurry up!
What's the plan?
Yes, the plan!
The plan you're here for!
What am I here for?
So do I have to tell you everything now?
So, you wanna stage a kidnapping?
Go ahead! Put me to sleep! Quick!
There's no time!
Even brides aren't this shy. Looks like I have to do everything.
You wanna know something funny?
Whenever this happens in films, people just faint right away.
But in real life...
Anya?
You?
Who are you?
Me?
You need something ironed? A salwar, shawl, or a shirt?
Where is Anya?
Anya? I think... ma'am was right here.
Must've gone outside. She's getting married, you know.
You...
You! You haven't ironed the clothes yet?
Come on, hurry up, boy!
What did you think?
That you'd get away with it?
Show me what you're hiding.
What are you looking at?
Take out that bottle.
Fix me a drink and don't tell the missus about it.
Sure, sir.
Get in.
What are you staring at?
-Go away. -Yes, sir.
-Bonzo! -It's for you!
You're concerned about the drink?
Anya is not in her room.
She must be here somewhere!
I've looked everywhere!
Anya!
What the hell are you doing?
Zoom in!
Then what are you looking at?
Tony, hurry up!
Hurry up!
Wait, Teefa! I'm right here!
One second. Let me in.
Why aren't you driving? Hurry, you're going to get us killed.
Get them!
We've kidnapped Bonzo's daughter!
We kidnapped Bonzo's daughter?
We kidnapped Bonzo's daughter!
Take it easy, Tony!
She was all ready to be kidnapped!
-Does Bonzo know about this? -I don't think so.
Tony, they're coming!
Wake me up if we survive!
This doesn't seem like heaven or hell. So I guess we're alive?
Hell, yeah! All thanks to your brother right here!
You wannabe James bond! You think you saved us?
Instead, you've put us in jeopardy!
Bonzo knows about us, we're dead meat now.
Charlie Chaplin! Tony, where are you going?
Finding a bush to lighten myself.
And what about the dead-weight in the van?
That dead-weight was your plan. Now deal with it.
It was her own plan, you're not getting it.
She was already prepared to be kidnapped!
-I think she's crazy! -Crazy?
-Yes! Crazy! -Crazy?
Yeah, she looks like a do...
Do, re, mi, fa, so...
You're up?
-So, you think I'm crazy? -He does.
Why would I say that?
-But you're absolutely right! -What?
I am crazy!
But you both aren't too far behind!
What timing, my brother!
Don't bro-zone me.
Well, I have to give it to you and Sara.
But I have to ask, who came up with the red handkerchief?
Red handkerchief?
Dad must be thinking that I've been kidnapped.
-And by the time my trip ends... -Do you get any of this?
the groom's family will call off the marriage!
Wait, here's your payment.
-So I'll be off now? -Okay.
Oh, wrong way!
Oh, man!
She thinks we're the dream dealers.
Who the hell are they?
-You don't know who dream dealers are! -No! Do you?
-Let's Google them. -Quick!
Did you find out?
No, I was poking Lubna on Facebook.
She blocked me!
-She's gone! -Yeah.
Anya's gone!
Man, why do these girls keep getting away from us!
Well, it ain't like that, son.
Some find their way back to us. Check that out.
I think she's coming to embrace me.
Not an embrace! It's a bloody chase, Tony!
Run!
Don't go there!
What are you doing? You'll get us killed! Run!
-Where do we go? -I'll take the high road,
-you go for the shortcut! -Okay!
Today I got to know what true love is.
Hot stuff!
We lost them.
No, it's our job.
You wanna run away? We'll keep you safe!
I'll be on my way. Tony, shall we?
What are you doing? Why are we letting the girl go?
Don't worry, I've understood everything.
Just count to three.
She'll come to us. Just count to three.
One, two...
Yes?
How about a cup of coffee?
Did you find her?
Sir, there's a twist in the story.
She wasn't kidnapped, she ran away!
She's a smart girl, you know.
Tony, what kind of a girl is she?
I think the one behind her is prettier.
-I'm talking about the one with us. -Her?
She ran away on the day of her wedding?
This happens in Europe as well?
You can take a desi out to their country, but not the desi out of them!
I may be the only guy who's European inside out!
I thought so!
Thank you.
I know what you guys must be thinking.
What sort of a girl am I to run away on the day of my wedding.
Yes!
Not at all. Why would we judge you?
But what sort of a girl are you?
What do you think?
The coffee's very hot.
We were thinking, what might have pushed you to take such an action.
Obviously, something forced you.
I have an offer for the both of you.
Tell me the offer.
If the both of you escort me to the Åšniardwy Lake,
and deal with my father's minions that may show up along the way,
which, I'm sure you will,
I will pay you guys five thousand zlotys.
Look, handling your dad and his minions
looks like a lot of work, we...
I don't know... What do you say, boss?
-Boss? -Boss!
Look, this seems like a complicated situation.
But, boss, you said it yourself,
that it's the company's policy to help those in dire need.
Policy, yes!
There's something called policies in companies!
So should I consider this deal done?
Yes, let's shake on it!
-Shall we? -Let's go.
Wait a second. Not like this.
Then how?
Like this?
We were here to pick up a girl, not laundry.
You worry about the clothes, I'll get the girl.
She'll come to us, on her own!
He stole a piece of my heart That Jackie-Chan Fan!
A bit white, and a tad tan Oh, wow!
Your deep black eyes Just got banned on YouTube
So the boys are lining up! Oh, wow!
I ain't going to stage a romance Go try your luck elsewhere
Everyone's watching Go get a white chick instead
If you don't shake that waist And dance like no one's watching
Then how will the film Earn big bucks in the cinemas!
A dance number?
I'll do anything for love but dance!
Baby your dance is what's gonna make Our love a hit!
-Your deep black eyes! -Hey, Teefa!
Your deep black eyes Just got banned on YouTube
The boys are lining up Oh, wow!
-Have some shame, my man -Hey, Teefa!
-For our honor at least? -Hey, Teefa!
How about we spice up The way you're dancing
She broke my heart The girl with the black eyes
She left me stranded The girl with the black eyes
Why did she turn the other way? The girl with the black eyes
Why don't you dance a little?
She broke my heart The girl with the black eyes
She left me stranded The girl with the black eyes
Why did she turn the other way? The girl with the black eyes
Why don't you dance a little?
A dance number?
I'll do anything for love but dance!
Your dance is what's gonna make Our love a hit!
He stole a piece of my heart That Jackie Chan Fan
A bit white, and a tad tan Oh, wow!
Your deep black eyes Just got banned on YouTube
So the boys are lining up Oh, wow!
-Your deep black eyes! -Hey, Teefa!
Your deep black eyes!
Are we gonna keep walking or...
I've fallen in love with you, What do I do?
I've become lonely and helpless, What do I do?
Don't let go, Don't turn away from me!
I won't find anyone else like you
My car just got punctured, What do I do?
Are you just gonna stare like that?
-No, I was just... -I didn't tell you to stop.
You can look all you want, but also look ahead.
My dad's friend!
He must've told him everything! He's here to get me!
Then... she cannot be here!
Really? Then where should I be?
You have to stay absolutely quiet.
And if they ask a question, just say "Jinkoya."
-Is that how you scare the demons here? -It means thank you!
Tony, do you have your license?
-I don't know. -What do you mean?
I don't have one.
You never got one made? Why?
My picture didn't come out nice.
Seriously? Are you kidding me?
Does this look like a time to be joking?
What do we do now?
-Give them your license! -You!
Jinkoya!
License, gone!
-We're dead. -Damn you!
-Stand close. -You're such an idiot!
He's going towards the trunk! What do we do?
You have any spare change to bribe them?
-Get him! -Tony!
Go on, get him!
Stop them!
Go after him!
Tony!
Anya?
Get in the car!
You?
Anya?
Anya! Hey, get them!
What the hell are you doing?
Sit quietly!
What are you doing?
Watch out!
Listen!
Sit quietly, will you?
Sure, I'd be more comfortable with a mattress.
Are you the Ghost Rider or what?
Watch out!
I've never come across a girl like you!
Dear God, save me! Watch out!
-Aren't you scared? -Shut the hell up!
Watch out for the turn!
Have you lost it?
-They're gone. -How did they escape?
-Slowly... -You'll get us killed.
-Where are you going? -Come on.
-What? -Wait
-What are you doing? -No!
Are you crazy? It's someone's truck, not your damn boudoir!
Shut up!
-What's this? -Shut up and put your hand here.
No! Are you crazy!
No! Chopping off my hand won't give you anything.
Wait! How about a test first?
-With this? -Yes, let's test your aim.
Wait.
I... I think...
there is no talent.
Oh damn!
-Okay. -Let's not do this.
Wait a second.
-Found it! -What is this?
A hairpin, idiot! Sit down.
-Hairpin? -Yeah.
-How does this work? -You ask a lot of questions.
Oh man!
Aren't you a Houdini!
What other tricks do you have up your sleeve?
-Plenty! Come on! -Aren't you something!
Listen, I don't see many Chillarhs around here?
Chillarh?
Chillarh as in, the police, you know.
In Lahore, we call the cops "Chillarh."
-You're from Lahore? -Yeah.
Don't Lahoris do the bhangra?
Such stereotyping!
Are Lahoris supposed to do bhangra all the time?
No, sir.
So, technically that makes me a Lahori too.
-So your dad's from Lahore? -Yes.
-Did you ever get to visit? -Well, we did plan to.
Then?
As usual, Sophie ruined everything.
What about your real mom?
I was eight when she passed away in an accident.
And it took dad eight days to get married again.
What are you thinking about? Such is life!
I was thinking that the number eight, sure is bad luck for you!
Are you a numerologist?
I'm guessing you must know how to read palms?
Palms? Give me your feet and I'll tell you your fortune!
Alright, here you go. What does my future hold?
Well, your wish to go to Lahore might come true sooner than you think.
Really? When?
In about eight days!
Now you're just pulling my leg!
-Listen. -Yes?
Can we find a place that serves curry? I'm very hungry!
So you wanna have some desi food?
After having all those burgers, I am missing Islamabad.
Alright, I'll get you some desi food! Wait.
Let me check.
My wallet!
Where is it?
-Tony! -Tony?
Bro, I have no idea where they are!
Are you from Chakwal in Pakistan? Because I am also--
Wait a minute!
Alright, go for it.
What kind of a boss is he?
Someone who just deserts you in a time like this?
How would I have known?
-You wanna eat, right? -Yes!
-Let's go! -Where?
Money?
You don't need money for everything.
-That's what all the rich people say. -What?
That you don't need money for everything.
-Is that so? -Yes.
We'll see.
What are you?
We ate the dessert but the white guy had to pay for it!
-Let's go! -Where?
Don't open your eyes until I say so.
Where are you taking me? Don't push me, okay?
What is this place?
Open your eyes.
If you are fortunate enough to see 11:11 on the clock, it means
that the universe is sending you a message.
That no matter what,
you don't need to fear anything, you're on the right path.
No matter how difficult the times are,
one day you will find the true calling of your destiny.
So, Mr. Teefa, tell me something. How much for an experience like this?
Can I ask you something?
You dad has given you everything.
Then why are you running away from it?
Yes, he did give me everything...
except for what I really wanted.
-What did you want? -An assurance.
That perhaps I am the most important thing to him in this world.
Not his business or his money.
And sometimes, I need a hug.
A cuddle.
Oh, cuddles are always nice.
Sometimes, it gets very cold around here.
You were right, it is cold here.
Don't you "hello" me!
I've been trying to reach you for so long!
Where the hell are you idiots!
Is the job done yet?
It's done, Mr. Butt.
Anya's with me.
Oh, Teefa!
Very good! When are you coming?
Soon!
Hurry up, Teefa! Very good! Well-done!
That's my boy!
Are you married?
Do you have kids?
I have a daughter.
And I'd do anything for her.
What the hell is he on about?
How do I get out of here?
If I jump out of this window, I'll break my eggs.
Because there's a truck down there, not of eggs but some damn rods.
Well, I guess I'll just listen to him.
Do you get it?
Now tell me.
What?
Where is my daughter?
I don't know, I swear! I never lie!
Every child in Poland knows that Tony never lies!
I'm telling you the truth! I don't know where they are!
Lee, shut off your phone.
Sir, that's not my phone.
Teefa!
Don't try to act smart
Tell him to stay where he is,
and that you'll be there in fifteen minutes.
-Tony, you son of a-- -Teefa, listen to me! Where are you?
I'm on the roof right next to the clock tower at Town Square!
Alright, stay right there!
I'll be there in fifteen minutes! Don't move, okay?
Yeah, okay. If you disappear this time, I'll--
Is that fine?
Take him along.
Yes, take me along. I'll only get bored!
We'll catch that son of a bitch together! Easy on the hand!
There you go, some hot tea.
How do you know that I'd want some tea when I wake up?
-You like tea? -Yeah.
Oh man, wait till you try the tea my mother makes.
If you're ever in Lahore, I'll treat you to some!
You live in Lahore?
-Yes. -I thought you might've moved here.
Why would I move here?
You know, once you've lived in Lahore, you can't live anywhere else.
Tony just calls me here for pulling some jobs.
Once I am done, I go back.
Oh, that reminds me! We found Tony!
He's almost here!
Then you can go off to your friend, and I'll be off to Lahore to my ma.
-Shall we go? -To Lahore?
Downstairs.
Run!
We're safe!
Anya!
Tony you ruined everything!
I am the one fixing it, aren't I?
Don't fight, guys! Let it be. Shall we go?
Go where? The truck's busted. How will we get anywhere?
Tony, translation please.
Translation, please.
Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination.
Well, well...
The girl's kinda saucy, Tony!
I know what you're thinking.
But what you're thinking can never happen.
Then let me enjoy thinking about it.
Oh, my dear Listen to my heart
My beloved, you're the only one for me
Oh, my dear Listen to my heart
My beloved, you're the only one for me
I'll guard my heart till it's yours
I'll write every song for you
My nights will long for your embrace
Just hear me out, my love
I'm an artist, just for you
I'm intoxicated for you
I've fallen in love with you
Just say yes!
Oh, my dear Listen to my heart
My beloved, you're the only one for me
Oh, my dear
I've come just for you Take care of my heart
Take me wherever you go I won't ask for anything more
Seems as if I've known you for years
Catch me in your arms if I ever fall
I'll always be with you
I won't even dare talk to anyone else
My life is only yours
You're my only one
Oh, my dear Listen to my heart
My beloved, you're the only one for me
Oh, my dear
How do I kill away the nights As I miserably long for you
Without you, My heart and soul can't ever sing
Your love is what makes me worthy It shines like the stars
Just embrace me in your arms
We live only once
So let's fall in love
Enjoy this moment for me
As you reside in my heart and soul
Oh, my dear Listen to my heart
My beloved, you're the only one for me
Oh, my dear
-And we're here! -Wow!
Can you ask Mr. Boris Becker to open the door for us?
-Hurry! -Thank you.
Sara!
Everything went according to plan?
-Where are those dream dealers? -Behind you.
This means my connections were right all along.
This looks good.
Teefa.
Tony. "Tony.Shah."
-I am Sara. -You're not Sara.
You're my Senorita.
Translation, please.
If she laughs, she digs you.
Sara, if it weren't for these two...
I mean, if it wasn't for him, I would have never gotten here.
I was just doing my job.
I'm glad she's reached safely. That's all I want.
Tony, shall we?
Tony, let's go!
-What are you doing? -Just keep looking!
How about a cup of coffee?
How about some Lassi?
Lassi?
Seems like these white folks have their lives figured out.
Anya!
Andy's coming and he looks hot as hell!
Latifah? Is he mocking me? I'll smash his head!
No, he's only joking!
Thank God you got her here all safe and sound.
You know, I've never seen her so happy.
She's dying to be with him.
But she never lets it show. Idiot!
Shall we?
Having fun?
You seem a bit down, man.
Check out that white dude, tight as a drum!
And you, Teefa? Mr. Loose Lace!
Do something. Pull something out of your hat.
My love, your path is far from me
And my arms long for you
You reside within my heart and soul
Why won't you say something?
Breathe life into me, So I can breathe
I stand helpless
Your soul is where I reside
I can't bear anything else
I can't live without you now
Take me into the realm of your love
We'll be sitting by the river
Oblivious of this world, Lost in our own
I've come just for you
You are in me, I am in you
Like a moon and a star
Is how we belong together
As I sleep in your arms And tell you I'm yours
May love embrace us for life
I will devote myself to your name
Keep my heart safe
I can lose everything in this world
But as long as I have you, I'll be complete
That's all I would ever wish for
In the dark of the night
I miss you
My heart can't bear it
Teefa!
Falling in love, are you?
This is where they all fall.
You lose your heart, and you lose your mind.
Come on, boy. Enough.
Hurry up, hand over the girl
and get done with this mess.
Alright? Come on!
Don't listen to him, Teefa.
Money isn't everything.
The real power lies in love.
Love?
The whole world falls in love, gets married,
and then they cry with clenched fists!
Love? Love is only for the fortunate.
To hell with love!
Listen up, everyone.
We can bicker all we want about love and money,
but can we order something to eat? I'm hungry.
I'm scared. This is not right.
Oh, man!
Teefa, everything will be alright,
-if you stick to the plan. -No!
Teefa, listen to your heart.
To hell with the heart. What about this belly, right here?
You mean the heart?
The heart brings hell on earth!
Teefa, he's getting you into trouble.
That girl is getting you into trouble, Teefa!
Oh my, God! We're stuck!
Should I order some tikkas?
Hungry?
Looks like we'll have to make some tikkas after all.
Oh, good Lord!
Bloodshed gets you nowhere.
But those of us who believe in love can die for it...
Here we go!
...and also kill for it!
Someone's getting emotional! This is gonna be fun!
I've been asking you guys what to order! I'm hungry!
I told you something bad was going to happen!
-What do we do now? -Wait a minute!
Guys, we're all the same person.
There's no need to fight, let's just sit and discuss everything.
To hell with that!
Teefa... What did I tell you?
Love is nothing but bullshit!
It's all about the money, honey.
Come on, boy. Get up, get the girl,
and show us what you got.
Come on, now. Wake up!
Who's this?
Beautiful, right?
Yes, very.
You'll leave all of of this behind?
No.
It'll stay with me...
forever.
I'll miss...
all of this.
I'll miss it too.
How's Lahore?
You see the colors of the skies above us?
Lahore is painted with as many colors.
I want to see those colors.
-You won't be able to. -Why?
Because princesses who have grown up in palaces...
cannot fathom the pain of starving children,
lying bare naked on the street.
Nor can they understand their despair.
I want to understand.
Yes.
I was 12...
when my dad passed away.
Leaving nothing but misery behind for us.
He said...
"I'm leaving behind the respect we've earned."
Little did he know...
that when you're starving, you can't feed on respect.
You need bread.
And for that, you need money.
He couldn't understand.
But I understood the world quite sooner.
Money is everything.
Because those who have money, have respect.
Do you get it now?
Anya!
Let's go!
-What are you gonna do now? -I can't go home.
Then where?
Lahore.
-Take me to Lahore. -Are you sure?
I'm sure.
Where is Anya?
I don't know.
Check inside!
Wait a minute!
Be gentle! It's pure leather. Be careful!
Where is Anya?
Listen, we're in a foreign country.
We don't deal with things like this.
There's a coffee shop nearby. How about we have a chat there?
You'll get to have some coffee and I'll have a chance to talk!
What's so special about this place?
It's so peaceful here.
And so beautiful.
Life can be so unpredictable.
One moment you're some place...
and in the next, another.
And that too with you.
My dear daughter!
Uncle Butt?
-How did you know that I am here? -Don't talk nonsense, my dear.
You're in my city. How could I have not known?
Ain't that right, Teefa?
Why are you standing there with that long face?
Haven't you told her?
You two, know each other?
Know each other?
He's my number one man.
He takes care of all of my problems.
He's the one who's brought you here.
Praise be to Allah!
You've grown up to be a beautiful young woman.
By the way, you're much prettier than your photographs.
-Salaam... -You bucket head!
You can save the romancing for later.
Come on, dear. Let's go home.
Your aunt is waiting for you.
All the arrangements have been done.
Teefa...
what is uncle talking about?
He doesn't say much. He's more of an "actions" guy.
Ashfaaq!
Get over here and give Teefa his reward!
There you go, Teefa.
It's all in there. You can count it.
I've got fresh, new bills for you.
Take it. Why are you being so shy?
It's yours.
Take it!
Let's go.
My beloved
Stands before me today
My heart
Has been ripped into pieces
My heart now weeps
Inside of my chest
May no one's beloved
Ever part ways
Don't hide behind the veil, my beloved
My heart and my life now belong to you
Don't hide behind the veil, my beloved
My heart and my life now belong to you
I don't know what's happening My heart is sinking
Makes me knock on every door
I'm swaying to the rhythm of love
I don't know what's happening My heart is sinking
Makes me knock on every door
I'm swaying to the rhythm of love
Don't hide behind the veil, my beloved
My heart and my life now belong to you
My beloved is upset As the sun now sets
The matters of the heart Remain confined within
Tears stream down As the heart trembles
Oh love, I don't understand you
One life...
One life And a thousand pains
I'm swaying to the rhythm of love
I don't know what's happening My heart is sinking
Makes me knock on every door
I'm swaying to the rhythm of love
Teefa, you're back?
Is the job done?
Ma...
can you please honestly answer my question?
What sort of a man was my father?
Teefa...
why are you asking me this again?
Is everything alright?
Tell me.
Were you happy with him?
Extremely.
But, he never got anything for you.
Well, there's not much needed when there's plenty of love.
But, he could have at least left something for us, Ma.
I've seen you washing people's dishes all my childhood.
How can you say that he left nothing for us?
Have you seen the kind of respect I get in the neighborhood?
It's all because of your father.
Son, earning money is very easy.
But earning respect?
Look, money and people... all go away someday.
But good deeds live on forever.
And this isn't something you'll only find in books.
Ma...
-My dear... -I've made a mistake.
Look, Teefa. I am your mother.
I know everything.
Everyone makes mistakes.
But in the end...
the ones who fix their mistakes are truly righteous.
And I know...
that you'll do the right thing.
My God, I cannot believe my eyes!
So beautiful!
You look just like a princess!
I brought these bangles for you.
These are ancestral. My mother had given them to me.
And I am passing them on to you.
-What? -Right.
My dear, I know you must be thinking that this isn't right.
But soon, everything will be alright.
This is how marriages happen.
And my son, my munchkin...
he's a very good guy.
He'll look after you.
He'll take good care of you. I swear.
He'll pamper you and give you everything that he has.
And that unwilling father of yours?
He'll come to terms with it too, I'm telling you!
-You're right -God bless you!
My friend, you look like a prince today.
She's a lucky woman, you know.
Is the Maulvi here or not?
Dad, my button popped open again.
-Call the tailor! -To hell with the tailor!
The Maulvi is going to officiate, not the tailor.
Who cares about the buttons? They're gonna open up later anyway.
Tell me, who's gone to get the Maulvi?
Son, I've been praying all my life.
But never as much as sitting with you on the bike.
You couldn't keep your damned foot off of the accelerator.
You're a stubborn one, aren't you?
One should be pious like yourself, and stubborn like me!
Come, let's go.
God, I repent!
The bird took it!
This way, sir.
Get over there you son of gun!
Mr. Butt, the Maulvi.
Salaam Alaikum. Welcome.
My son, you take care of all of my problems, don't you?
If it wasn't for you, I would have been worthless.
Go, my boy. Enjoy the party!
Give me that. It's time to nab the sweetmeat.
Wow, so much perfume!
Aren't you wearing any? You're too smelly.
-Hello there, Teefa. -Hi, teefa.
How do I look?
Oh my! Praise be to God.
Damn, it opened up again!
There goes all of my self confidence!
Well no problem, it's just a button.
Let's just button it up again.
Suck in your belly.
Could you guys go over there for a second?
-Teefa. -Yes?
You're like a brother to me.
I can share this only with you.
You know, it's sort of my first time.
So how I do make Anya...
smile.
She looks sad all the time.
If you say, should I go talk to her?
-I guess she listens to you, right? -Yes.
Please put in a good word for me.
I know just what to do, don't worry.
Here, have this sweetmeat.
Don't you worry. Okay?
Listen.
-Don't mind, okay? -Not at all.
-Something's been bothering me. -Tell me.
Well, you guys were together for a really long time.
-Did you both ever... -What the hell are you saying!
-She's your sister in law! -What!
I meant, mine.
But you don't have to worry at all.
You just wait and watch how I go and talk to her.
No worries. It's your wedding, man!
-Teefa, where are going? -Salaam Alaikum.
Need to get out of here.
At first the barber came for me
I won't go with the barber, I am scared
Can't lift the lock Can't say anything
Can't lift the lock Can't throw it away
Barber, oh barber, You're a player
With your slick moves You're a player
I won't go with you
I won't go
Anya!
Anya?
Anya!
-What are you doing? -You!
What are you doing here!
Have you lost it? You'll die!
Give me your hand!
I'd rather die than give you my hand!
Neither is this a good way to escape nor to die.
You're surrounded by Butt's men! You won't be able to escape!
Can you just give me your hand? Climb up!
Billu is one lucky guy!
A foreign chick, who doesn't even talk back.
-Truly amazing! -Truly amazing!
Give me your hand.
Pass that over.
Don't you dare touch me!
Amazing! I just saved you and--
You're the one who got me here in the first place.
I was a fool but not anymore!
-Look, just listen to me. -No!
Now you listen to me!
One more word and I'll...
I'll scream my lungs out and make sure everyone's here!
Alright, scream!
"Help me, I am dying!" Go on, scream!
I have never seen a bigger scoundrel in my entire life!
I know I am a scoundrel, a dog. A bloody rascal!
But for one last time, please listen to me.
I got you into this mess, right?
-So, I'll get you out of it. -Why?
Why should I believe you? Tell me.
Take it.
If it fires, you need not believe me.
But if it doesn't, you'll have to do everything I say.
I hope you've thought this through. I am a bit crazy.
I've thought about it.
I am a bit crazy myself.
Do it.
-Come over here, Khalida. -Yes.
I was saying...
Dad!
My Anya!
Anya!
What the hell did you do! I can't believe you actually fired!
I didn't know it would fire so easily!
-You asked me to do it! -Are you gonna do everything I say?
Yes! No!
No! Yes!
No...
Anya, open the door! Is everything alright?
Open the door!
Who fired that shot?
Open up, dear!
Open the door!
-Dad, I widowed even before I could marry. -Take down the door!
-Me? -Then who else?
Knock it down!
Anya, where are you? Anya!
Look over there, you idiots!
-Dad! -God! You scared me!
Look out the window, maybe she jumped!
Look there, hurry up.
All well, Mr. Butt?
The girl ran away!
What do you mean?
The girl ran away!
Meaning she has run!
Yes!
But with whom, Mr. Butt?
-Dad, I think she ran away with Teefa. -What?
The chick eloped with Teefa!
What? Who did she ran away with?
You idiot, can't you hear?
She ran away with Teefa!
You could've said that earlier!
So should we tell them to serve the food or not?
Go, get them! They ran away!
Come on, now.
Here we go.
What? Is the gas over?
-It isn't starting? -No, I am just trying to act funny.
Oh, God!
-Where are you going? -Move!
-Come on! -Let me sit...
Horses are better than this!
Come on, start.
Hurry! Call Meeda too!
You?
You can't put enough grease in your hair to make yourself a politician.
Putting on blue and yellow suits won't make you white!
You can't kidnap someone's daughter and call her your own.
Bring her here.
I said bring her.
I could bring her, but...
she ran away!
What do you mean she ran away?
Don't tell me you've been away for so long that you've forgotten our language!
It means, she has run!
-And that too with Teefa. -Exactly!
Then why the hell are you looking at me?
Go get him!
Why isn't the bike starting?
How would I know? Do I look like a mechanic?
Come on!
Hurry up! Get them!
Billu, where are you?
Get in the car!
Mr. Butt, Teefa's getting away!
-You clever little monkey! -Let's go!
What the hell are you staring at me for?
Get them!
Let's go!
Teefa!
Teefa, I'll...
Where are we going?
Didn't I tell you?
I got you into this mess, and I'll get you out of it.
Hurry up!
Get out of the way!
Hurry up!
Where is that rascal?
Happy?
Always keep smiling.
You look great when you do.
Anya!
Andy?
Teefa, you...
Why?
Do keep me in your prayers.
That's all I am taking away from here.
My love,
Your path is far from me
And my arms
Long for you
You reside within my heart and soul
Why won't you say something?
Breathe life into me
So I can breathe
Teefa...
didn't I tell you?
Never break my trust.
What do I do, Mr. Butt?
What's done is done.
Break his freaking legs!
Oh my!
What's happening
Anya?
Where is she?
Anya!
How childish of you!
You had gotten us all worried!
This is no age for me to be running around looking for you.
You shouldn't have done this!
Come on, let's go home.
For the first time in his life
your half-English father has said something wise.
Let's go home, my child.
Butt, that's enough!
Come on!
Her home is here. She'll go with us.
I no longer have the energy to deal with your antics, Butt.
Come on, Anya.
No one's coming to get you out of here.
God bless you!
Old man, give me the stick.
Yeah, right!
Can I have it please? It'll only take a couple of minutes.
-Okay, then. -Why, thank you.
Anya, let's go.
Anya, you're coming with me!
The Maulvi is waiting, come with me.
Anya's my daughter, she'll come with me!
I said, she'll come with me.
How dare you! I am her father!
You guys should stop fighting!
-She'll come with me. -I am her father, she will--
Stop it!
Shut up!
Whom should I go with?
Should I go with you dad?
Tell me?
No. I should go with you.
Or with you? Maybe with you?
Or how about I go with you?
Of course! Why not?
Muhammad Asif from Patogi.
Wow!
There's another lined up!
Will anyone care to ask whom I want to go with?
What am I? An item?
Well, that you are!
What's up with all you men?
You think a woman has no say?
Do you ever get a boy married against his will?
Or do you save all of these antics for girls only?
The girl does have a point, you know.
One should ask!
Well, let me do the honors.
Will you come with us?
Don't you dare! That's my daughter!
Butt, who is he?
Teefa, my son, you had brought me a message, right?
Now get ready for the reply.
I won't be unfair.
A slap... for a slap.
Come on.
Give one tight slap to Butt.
Go ahead.
Aren't you a mannerless fellow!
You hadn't thought this through now, did you?
Well, it's you who didn't think this through.
I am a stubborn guy. I am sure you remember
But I ain't mannerless!
How could you forget?
You want me to slap, right?
I will do so. And it'll be a tight one.
But, it will be on your face!
Hey! I haven't even asked for my money yet.
Three times more, with the slap as interest.
Or else...
Dad! Let go of me!
-Teefa! -Dad, please save me!
I don't want to go with him!
Hey, get them!
Let go!
Teefa!
-Teefa! -Teefa!
Anya!
Teefa...
where are you taking me this time?
Where ever you want me to.
Aren't you going to ask?
Can anyone do anything without asking you?
Tell me. Where do you want to go?
Wherever you take me.
Are you sure?
I am sure.
I am crazy!
Well, so am I.
Will you love me?
Will you?
Oh, you have no idea.
But on one condition.
You'll have to make me Aloo Chaat, chicken curry,
and fried bitter gourd everyday.
Then only I'll love you.
Will you make that for me?
Teefa?
Teefa, wake up!
Teefa!
Teefa, I'll do whatever you say,
I'll go wherever you take me!
Please, wake up!
Teefa, wake up! Teefa!
Teefa!
And my arms
Long for you
You reside within my heart and soul
Why won't you say something?
Breathe life into me
So I can breathe
So...
what did I tell you guys?
This world's a tough place.
It neither lets you live, nor die.
When you're alive, all they talk about is killing and dying.
And when death comes to you,
all they want is for you to be alive.
What is a man supposed to do?
So much confusion!
Man knows that he was brought into this world.
But he forgets about leaving it one day.
However,
my death brought all of them together.
What more could I ask for?
A wise man once said,
"Time heals all wounds."
It always passes, you know.
Before you know it,
Butt and Basheera's friendship became the talk of the town.
As they say, "what goes around comes around."
And as they say in English, "cute."
Billu Butt also found his special someone.
He too, deserves love, right?
And that made Khalida happy as well.
"Right?"
As for Tony, he finally ended up with his Senorita.
That leaves us with ma and Anya.
I love the both of them very much.
I still think that they're out there missing me.
Thinking about my cooking.
They must be wondering...
how easy it was for me...
to fool all of you!
Presenting, hot tikkas!
What happened?
Why are you all acting like someone died in here?
Well, we're about to die of hunger!
Bring those special Teefa's tikkas!
Bring them over, while they're hot.
Have some.
-Butt, come on, try some. -Give me some more.
Who made this?
-I did! -Wonderful, my boy!
-Teefa, come here. -Yes?
-We've got a new job. -What?
We have to nab an auntie in Morocco.
-I hope she isn't heavy. -Just check her out.
-Teefa! -Do you want some salad?
-You look very pretty. -Here you go.
Thank you... sister-in-law!
She's a sister to me.
-Come here, I'll show you something. -What?
Check that out.
I know right!
TEEFA'S TIKKAS.