♪ Hear the legends of the kung fu panda ♪
♪ Doong, doong, doong, doong, doong-bowng, doo-boom-boom ♪
♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪
♪ Never seeking glory or fame ♪
♪ He climbed a mountaintop ♪
♪ And earned the Dragon Warrior name ♪
Hoo! Ah! Yah!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
♪ Doong, da-doong, doong, shu-gong, da-doong, doong ♪
♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪
♪ And master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
♪ Doong, da-doong, doong-doong, da-doong, da-da-doong ♪
♪ He lives, and he trains ♪
♪ And he fights with the furious five ♪
♪ Protect the valley somethin', somethin' ♪
♪ Somethin', somethin' alive ♪
Ooh, ah, ooh!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
♪ Legends of awesomeness ♪
Sweet.
1x03 - Sticky Situation
sync and corrections by f1nc0 -- www.addic7ed.com --
Come on, Mantis. You have to eat something.
[Sighs] I can't.
My stomach feels like i've been drinking
from the cup of heartbreak and sorrow.
[Sighs]
- Did you try salt? - It's not that.
Mantis' girlfriend dumped him, and now he won't eat.
[Sighs]
She was the most beautiful caterpillar you ever saw.
Then one day, poof! She becomes a butterfly.
Now it's like I don't even know her.
Romantic entanglements upset one's Chi.
That's why i avoid them.
Yeah, that's the reason.
- [Chuckling] - Oh, Man-tis, you got to eat.
No eat-y, no energy. No energy, no train-y.
No train-y, no--
Why-y are you-y talking like that-y?
I know just the dish to soothe your tiny broken heart.
Wha-tah! Hoo-ah!
Need a few bean paste dumplings, liberal portion of honey,
some sticky plum sauce, extra sticky,
and my own supersecret ingredient...
Isn't that what we patch walls with?
So? Now we patch a broken heart.
Now we just give it a good stir, and voila!
Po's famous sticky dumplings.
Try one, Mantis.
Thanks, po.
Oof!
[Muffled] I seem to be stuck on your dumpling.
Oops. [Chuckles]
Guess i kind of went overboard with the sticky.
[Grunting]
Not...as much fun... as it looks!
[Grunts]
- This is ridiculous.
Here.
[Both grunting]
- Pull!
Pull!
[Loud crash]
- Uh...
- mealtime is over.
Let's train.
Uh, but-- but i just made--
I mean, it seems like a shame to waste the--And--
Uh, maybe i'll just...
[screams]
- Po!
[Stammers]
[Gulps]
[Chains jangling]
- [Sighs]
- Excellent.
Now, po, i--
[Gasps]
Panda, are you eating in here?
- [Chewing loudly]
[Swallows]
No.
- We have rules about eating in the training hall.
- Is one of them that we should?
- [Sighs]
That's enough training for today.
You're dismissed.
Except for you, Dragon Warrior.
I have a special mission for you.
- Ah. You guys go on.
Special mission.
- I would like the Dragon Warrior...
- Yes?
- To clean the entire training hall by sunset.
- Huh?
[Groans]
But, master Shifu, you don't understand.
I was gonna...
- Yes?
- I got nothin',
So i thought i'd just trail off like that.
- Good decision.
Now get to work, and take care.
This training hall is a hallowed and special place.
[Sleepy flute music]
- [Swallowing]
But first, a little Dragon Warrior action.
Hiy--Oh!
Ah, stuck!
The sticky dumplings.
Might have made 'em a bit too sticky.
[Grunting]
Kee-Yah!
[Grunts]
No!
Oof!
[Chain jangling]
Uh-Oh.
[Stammering]
Ah! Ow!
Ah!
Oh-Hoo!
Huh?
The dumplings!
Ah!
Oh, no, the whole place!
Noooo!
Ah!
[Cogs grinding]
Ah!
[Wood creaking]
Uh, i broke the training hall.
That's...kind of impressive
And awful.
I got to fix this before Shifu finds out.
[Grunting] Almost.
I've just got to...want it.
Here we go now.
[Grunting[ Feel the thunder.
Yeah, feel the thunder.
Oof!
You!
I hope you're happy, sticky dumpling.
This is all your fault!
Oh, i can't stay mad at you.
[Gulps]
[Gasps] What's this?
They must have made the training hall.
That's Shifu's mark, and that's Taotie.
[Gasps] i'll get him to fix the hall!
Hey, someone could trip over this.
[Rattling sound]
[Sharp chinking sound]
Ah!
[Wire whipping]
Whoa, that is so--
Huh?
Sweet!
Wasn't so...
[screaming] bad!
[Loud thud]
[Grunts]
Whew.
[Dart whistles through air]
Ah.
[Gasping]
Taotie?
- Dad, it's for you.
- What is the meaning of this?
- Uh! Ow! Ow!
Uh! Look, i didn't come to fight.
But if i did, just so you know, i'm sort of the Dragon Warrior.
You'd need more than a stick.
[Blades chinking]
Yeah, that'd do it.
- [Whimpering nervously]
Whoa, cool thingies.
- Care for a closer look?
My own inventions.
- Nobody cares, dad.
- Ah, no, that's plenty close.
Look, i wouldn't bother you, but...
[chuckles nervously] someone needs your help.
- Who?
- Shifu.
- Shifu seeks my assistance?
- Uh, yeah.
He's like all, "get Taotie, he's the man."
- That doesn't sound like Shifu.
- He's got a little cold.
Anyway, the training hall you guys built,
It's kind of...broke.
- What?
That equipment was built to last centuries.
What kind of addlepated lummox could've broken it?
- No one knows.
But, uh, between you and me,
I think it was that grasshopper-Lookin' guy.
- And Shifu sent for me?
- You could say that.
Or you could say that it would be great if you fixed the hall
Without anyone ever finding out.
- Ah, now i understand.
- [Slurping]
I'm gonna take a nap. [Yawns]
Wake me when you guys aren't lame.
- Please excuse my son, Bian Zao.
He's just learning the business.
- Lame!
- So will you do it? Will you fix the training hall?
- Anything for my old friend Shifu.
- Who we're not gonna tell anything about this to.
- It'll be our secret.
- Oh, what a relief.
If you fix it, this will be awesome.
- Sounds great.
Could you stand on that "x" again?
[Dart whistles through air]
- Hmm? Hmm.
- This is too perfect, my son.
Escorted into the jade palace by the Dragon Warrior
Right under that moron Shifu's pointy nose?
[Laughs]
- I thought you said Shifu is your friend.
- Was my friend.
Many years ago, Shifu and i were at the jade palace together,
But i was never as good as Shifu.
We thought better training would do the trick,
so we worked side by side building the training hall--
my finest achievement.
But while it helped Shifu improve tremendously,
I was still hopeless.
I wanted to make up for my lackings,
so i devised ingenious mechanical contrivances
to compensate for my weak spots.
I was so excited to show my mechanical improvements
to Oogway and Shifu.
They looked at me with horror.
My machines had sullied the purity of kung fu.
Well, i have news for you:
Kung fu is outdated and useless!
Which machinery comes power.
Now this lumbering mountain of black-and-white pudding
Will take me right in.
Once my machines and i are victorious,
the villagers will see what true power is.
They'll turn their backs on kung fu
and worship me like a god.
- I'm not going. [Slurping]
- Just come. You'll have fun.
I will soon destroy all who once opposed me!
[Cackling evilly]
- [Chuckling slowly]
[Chuckling]
Ah.
So you guys ready to go?
[Grunting]
- Is this really necessary?
- Yes, i told you.
- Ow!
- Yikes.
Gah!
Hey, you guys look great.
[Chuckles] Been working out?
- Uh, no, no one's been working out,
Because the training hall's closed
till you finish cleaning it.
- Oh, yeah, right, and that's just what i'm gonna do
with this, uh-- This crate of giant...
sponges.
So, uh, bye.
[Grunts]
- Ow!
- Okay, now, we don't have much time, so--
- Behold, my son, my greatest--
Wha--
The training hall! It's ruined!
Oh, my creation, my beautiful creation.
Oh, it's okay.
I'm here now.
Oh, oh!
What did you do to it?
- See what i've been dealing with?
- Look, i told you, i--
Look, we can go back and forth over who did what and...
okay, not so much with the back-and-forth,
but what's important is, can you fix it?
- Of course, but for a job this big,
I'm going to need special tools.
Do you have anything of infinite power
in the shape of an orb that's made of jade?
- No.
We do have the jade orb of infinite pow-- oh!
Ah, but that's sacred,
And it's only for huge emergencies.
- And what exactly would you call this?
- Good point. I'll be right back.
Just remember to stay out of sight.
- Soon the jade palace will be ours, my son.
- Neat.
- [Grunting]
- Oh!
- What are you doing?
- Uh, what-- What are you doing?
I mean, stop looking at my butt.
I--I'm sensitive about it.
- Oh, sorry, man.
- [Grunts]
Uh, there you go.
Now, if we can just move things along in here,
'Cause we're kind of out of time.
- Certainly. Just keep everyone out.
- Right. I'm on it.
[Screams]
- Jeez!
- Mantis, uh, what are you doing?
- [Sighs]
Drowning my sorrows in a good workout.
- That's a terrible idea.
You know what you should do?
Talk about it, like, somewhere else
and not right here.
- [Sighs]
I miss my girlfriend so much.
Everything i look at reminds me of her,
Like that rock...
or that butterfly.
- Actually, that's her.
- I'm just getting my stuff.
- When does it stop,
The hurting?
- [Gasps]
Tigress!
Good talk, buddy. I feel better. Bye!
Wha!
- Oof!
Get off of me.
What are you doing?
- Heh, this is better than training
On some dumb machine, right?
Feel the burn.
- [Grunts]
I am going in there.
- Why? Because you're scared of me?
- I am scared of nothing.
- How about now? Grr!
Or now? Huh!
Or now? [Cackles wickedly]
- I am not scared of you.
- Yes, you are, scary-cat, scary-cat,
scary-ca-at!
- Po! Po?
- [Gasps]
Shifu!
Oh, uh, what's up, 'fu?
I mean, shi'.
See how i did that backwards?
[Chuckles nervously] Fu...
- I want to see how the training hall
is coming along.
- Uh, i want it to be a surprise.
- I don't like surprises.
- Really?
Uh, because i'm doing some stuff with floor wax
That will really blow your mind.
- What are you hiding from me, panda?
- Uh, nothing.
What-- what makes you think i'm hiding anything?
- Ya!
Thought i wouldn't find you, huh?
- You're not sensitive about your butt.
- Giant sponges aren't heavy.
- You've been acting weird all day.
- Are you dating my girlfriend?
- All right, you guys must be crazy,
Because i don't know what you're talking about.
[Explosion]
[Foreboding music]
♪ ♪
- What is that?
- The...training hall.
- And who is that?
- Hello, Shifu, my old friend.
Taotie!
How did this happen?
How did he get in here?
- Oh, it was quite simple, Shifu.
Your Dragon Warrior showed us right in.
[Dramatic music]
[Laughs loudly]
- Yeah, about that...
I kind of got some sticky dumplings
stuck in the training machine,
which then went all, like, crash, boom,
and then i found Taotie to fix it,
and he-- blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-- made that!
- You're responsible for all of this?
- No! Yes!
But i--I thought you and Taotie were friends.
- We were once,
until he abandoned kung fu when his heart turned dark.
- Oh...would have been good to know.
- [Growls]
I'm very angry with you, panda,
so angry, i can't even think of a punishment harsh enough.
[Loud thunk]
That's good enough.
Everyone, positions.
- Huh! - Huh!
- Yeah, we can do it.
We can take this thing down.
- Po, i gave you a broom, and this happened.
Do you think i'm going to let you fight?
- Yeah.
Maybe you sit this one out.
- Haven't you done enough?
- As the wise man say:
Get the heck out!
- But...
- we don't want your help.
- Look at that, Shifu.
All your precious training running ayay.
You'll never see a machine do that.
- And you'll never see a machine do this.
- Oof.
Uh!
- [Grunts]
Hyah!
[Panting]
[Grunting]
[Dishes rattling]
- Oh, gah, this is torture.
I'm an idiot.
All this mess just because of some stupid dumplings.
- [Cackling loudly]
[Blades chinking]
- Oof!
[Arrows whistling through air]
- Uh!
[Chain clanging]
- Ahh!
[Throwing stars chinking]
- [Rattling]
- [Grunting]
Oof!
Bad idea!
[Throwing stars chinking]
[Fire roaring]
- [Gasps]
Ah!
- So, Shifu, ready to admit that machinery is more powerful
than your old-Fashioned kung fu?
- Machinery will never be more powerful,
because it has no heart.
- And soon neither will you.
- [Gasps]
[Grunting]
- [Laughing evilly]
- Surrender, Taotie.
- Ha!
Your panda style is no match for my mechanical marvel.
- It is you who is no match for this.
- Dumplings?
- Sticky dumpling style.
[Arrows whistling through air]
Huh!
Ha!
[Arrows pinging]
[Suspenseful flute music]
♪ ♪
- Ooh!
Ooh! Ha! Ooh!
Ha!
Huh! Huh! Huh!
- [Cackles]
[Chain jangling]
[Chopsticks whistling through air]
- [Sighs]
Uh!
[Grunting]
[Growling]
Ha!
[Fire roaring]
Whoo.
Come on, sticky dumplings, do your thing.
- [Cackles]
[Cackles]
- Hoo-Ah!
Huh!
Shifu!
- Uh!
- Uh-Oh.
[Grunting]
- Thought you could beat me with dumplings?
Ah! What's happening?
Crank harder!
- You crank harder.
- No!
- You fellas want to come down and try your luck mano a mano
Without hiding behind your machines?
[Wood creaking]
- Ah!
[Loud crash]
[Blades chinking]
- Not really.
We'll be back for the palace someday,
and then you'll see the awesome power
Of my inventions and--
Wha--
Did you oil these blades like i asked you to?
- Blades are stupid.
- Whoa! - Whoa!
[Loud thud]
- They're getting away!
- Let them go, panda.
We'll send them the bill.
- Shifu, sorry for, uh--
- Everything?
- Well, i don't know about everything, but...
a lot.
- Po, i must admit that you did a good job defending us,
So good that i have one more job for the Dragon Warrior.
- Yeah? Bring it!
[Whimpers]
- Delicious.
- More sticky dumplings, Mantis?
- Oh, don't mind if i do.
- So you seem to be feeling better.
- I'm doing great.
- Good, because you know what?
You were really too good for her.
I mean, nobody really liked her.
- Yeah...
we actually got back together.
She's lovely. Nice lady. Best to you both.
sync and corrections by f1nc0 -- www.addic7ed.com --