[gong rings]
? Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda! ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom! ?
? Raised in a noodle shop ?
? never seeking glory or fame ?
? he climbed the mountain top ?
? and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ?
? Hu! Ah! Ya! ?
? Kung Fu Panda! ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom! ?
? Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ?
? and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ?
? Kung Fu Panda. ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom! ?
? He lives, he trains ?
? and he fights with the Furious Five ?
? protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ?
? somethin' somethin' alive ?
? Oh! Ah! Uh! ?
? Kung Fu Panda ?
? Legends of awesomeness. ?
Sweet.
1x18 - Po Fans Out
sync by Rafael UPD, corrections by f1nc0 - - www.addic7ed.com - -
[grunts]
Oh!
[grunting]
You will not defeat my fingers, evil finger-defeaters!
Eh! Oh!
It's impossible. [sighs]
You guys just wait till it's your turn.
[chuckles] You'll never figure it out.
- Already did... when I was five. - What?
Yeah. Us, too.
- Yeah, I already did that. - Us, too.
[whimpers] Ah! Huh! Oh.
Aww, you guys have done everything!
You have action figures, trading cards,
Tigress, they even named rice after you... "angry rice."
You even have fan clubs. I don't have any of that.
- You have a fan club. - Wha...?!
Yeah, I saw them down by the noodle shop.
Oh, I gotta meet 'em. We could dress alike and...
- and figure out a secret handshake! - Not so fast, panda.
There still remains the matter of the hero's dilemma.
Ugh. I'm a hero.
- So I should be able to do this. - Whoa!
- Careful! - Whoa!
Whoa, hey!
- Watch it! - Gah!
Ow! Ooh! Ow. Ooh.
Must... ow! See... ow!
Fans... ooh!
Ooh. Ow. Ah!
Ow! Ow!
Oh! Huh!
[grunts]
Wah!
[panting]
Why are things hard?
- Ah! - Po!
Your carelessness almost released the deadly Mongolian fist demon.
[gasps] That sounds awesome.
It is, in fact, the opposite of awesome.
This demon nearly destroyed the valley centuries ago.
You should put some sort of huge fence
with spikes around it, so no idiot can come in
and knock it ov... Oh, right. [chuckles]
You asked me to do that earlier, didn't you?
[grunting]
Po, the reason this is called "the hero's dilemma" is:
it seems like brute strength should solve the problem, but...
You lost me. Whoa!
It is when you quit struggling that you...
I have a fan club! Bye!
Fence. Right. [chuckles]
Do it when I get back. Bye!
[music] [panting]
Fan club. Fan club. Fan club!
[gasps] My fan club! Wow.
They nailed it.
Who dares approach the Dragon's Den?
Cool. It is I, the Dragon Warrior.
Right. Get lost, Chan-Goo!
It's not Chan-Goo. It's really the Dragon Warrior!
Don't make me come out there and punch you, loser.
It's really me!
Yeah? Then answer this.
What kind of broad axe did the Dragon Warrior use
to release the log roll at Thunder hill?
Uh, it wasn't a broad axe.
It was a two-handed Zhanmadao sword
of folded bronze forged in the Shang dynasty
by Zhang Zu Jin-Li, the one-armed son of the woodchopper.
- Is that true? - I don't know. I could look it up.
Just open the door!
[panting]
Yeah! Take that, those who mocked us!
[laughs] The Dragon Warrior is at our clubhouse!
All: Po is the dragon. He never will be beat.
Po is the warrior. He's really good...
at what he... does.
- [gasps] I just tinkled a little. - Really? Again?
That cheer is really awesome!
I thought you were gonna rhyme "neat" with "massive pectorals,"
but your way is much cooler.
Enter, oh, most revered Dragon Warrior,
- Kung fu legend, Puncher of evil. - Whoa!
[gasps] All right!
- Awesome! - I'm Lam.
- I'm Chen. - I'm Yang.
- Cool. Lam, Chen, Yang. - He said my name! [gasps]
She just fainted because she's my fan!
I have a fan! [sighs]
I'm too excited to stay passed out.
This is your clubhouse! Is it what you imagined?
No. [gasps]
It's a hundred times more awesome!
[cheering]
[gasps] Ow!
This painting looks exactly like me!
[cheering]
Whoa!
[giggles]
Cool thingies. My own action figure...
with authentic burlap pants!
[excited yelling]
What else have ya got? Ow!
Legend has it...
that the great and mighty Dragon Warrior himself
once dropped a noodle on this very brick.
[laughs nervously] We had the noodle,
but I got excited and I ate it. [giggles]
- Let me see that. - Technically, it's a reproduction.
but it's an official reproduction... of a copy.
You can't tell! This looks just like the real brick
- I actually dropped a noodle on! - I knew it!
I told you guys. It was worth the 200 yuan.
You guys hang onto that. It's gonna be worth a lot more someday.
[giggles] It's so generous of you, Dragon Warrior.
Ah, call me Po... the Dragon Warrior.
I have a fan club! What do you guys want to do first?
Wash dishes!
Tell us the story of how you beat Tai Lung.
- [gasps] Yeah! - Yeah!
It was a dark and stormy night.
Then the next night was cloudless.
And that's when I saw Tai Lung for the first time.
- Oh! - That's pretty awesome.
Monkey. Monkey!
Monkey, you got anything cool
that maybe I could show my fans down at the fan club?
Sure, Po. How about this teacup?
Cool.
Hey, are these Shifu's ceremonial nunchucks?
- You can't take those. - Well, he's not usin' them.
- Or these ancient brass fight bells? - Well, they're just, like, sitting there.
- Or... Mantis? - Not cool, man.
I'll just, uh... okay, bye. [door slams]
- Look what I got you guys! - Yeah!
- It's my old throwing star. - Whoa.
- [grunts] It's slippery. - I used it to butter my toast.
You guys ready for the Dragon Warrior
to take you on your exclusive dragon tour-ier?
- All: Yeah! - Cool.
I'll even tell you the Tai Lung story again on the way.
Ya! [laughs]
Okay. What do we got? Oh!
[excited laughter]
Right here. This very spot.
I waged battle against the mighty rhino, Hundun!
I was standing right here, and he was like, "you better not..."
You think you might fight him here again?
- Yeah, do it! - Right now!
[chuckles] Well, I can't, 'cause he's kind of in jail.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh! This is awesome.
See that dent in the street? My head made that
after the barbarian horde threw me off a roof!
[excited screams]
See, my head still fits.
That's so cool. Make another dent!
- Yeah, do it! - Right now!
[chuckles] No, I can't just hit my head.
That's disappointing.
Oh, oh, oh! Over there!
This is where I crushed the famous terracotta warlords into powder.
[screams] We wanna see that!
- Yeah, do it! - Right now!
Well, I-I can't. They're... they're powder.
- Fight something! - Yeah, fight that guy!
All: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
I-I-I-I can't just start a fight with some poor guy.
Oh, that's a bummer.
I'll tell you the story again!
And then he was like, "you can't beat me. I'm Tai Lung."
And then... and then, I said...
Lam, Chen, and Yang: "Skiddoosh."
Close, but the accent is on the "skid," not the "oosh."
Um, yeah. Are you actually ever gonna do anything,
like, exciting Dragon-Warrior stuff?
Uh, yeah. I mean, I've got training and laundry,
and I got some stuff I gotta memorize.
No, cool stuff. Like... like fighting someone.
Yeah, do that!
Only, things have been kinda low-key lately.
Oh... maybe we should just pack it in for today.
Cool. Same time tomorrow?
- Uh, I think I'm busy tomorrow. Uh... - Uh, yeah. I-I-I'm busy.
Yeah, I'm gonna be busy with, um, some...
- some stuff and things. - Not a problem!
Hey, the weekend it is. I'll see you guys bright and early.
- See ya. - Sure.
[laughs nervously] Sounds good.
Ha! I almost forgot my Dragon-Warrior ears!
Can't disappoint my fans. [chuckles] No.
[mocking] "Look, I'm Po, the Dragon Warrior,
and I'm scared of ducks." [laughs]
[laughter]
What a lame hero! He never hits anything.
Yeah, I mean, even I would punch a duck.
[giggles]
[somber music]
Ow.
[sighs] [somber music]
Hey, Po. Why the round face?
[chuckles] Get it? I'm supposed to say "long face," but I...
- I lost my fan club! - What? How?
Because I'm lame.
Ow! Probably shouldn't have done that.
[groans] I stink as a hero.
[sighs] Ever since I was a kid,
I would read the ancient art of kung fu
and dream about being like one of those heroes.
Master Flying Rhino,
Master Li Ling of the thousand fists!
A lot of those guys mainly just kept the peace, so...
I don't care. My fan club hates me
because I didn't hit anything all week!
I get it. Your first fan club!
You wanna show off.
There's no bad guys to fight right now.
Yeah. Or people to save, or disasters to prevent, or a...
Po? Are you getting one of those ideas
- that Shifu tells you to ignore? - What? Pfft! No.
What? Pfft! Ridiculous.
Yes.
[chuckles]
Hello, Mongolian fist demon jar.
Friendly, harmless demon jar.
[chuckles] How 'bout I let you out, and we fight a little bit?
You know no big deal.
What if you've got fangs? You could have fangs.
I could do a look-see real quick, just to do a fang-check.
Right?
Nah. But... okay.
Pro: I need to fight something.
Con: Incredibly dangerous and could wreck the valley.
Pro: I wanna?
Eh, how bad could it be?
[screaming]
It's a demon! [growls]
[screaming]
It's a demon!
Help us, Po!
Ya!
The Dragon Warrior!
Looks like someone needs to learn some table manners!
[blows landing]
[growls]
[heroic music]
[cheering]
[growls] [screams]
Eh, con. Con wins.
Ah!
[indistinct whispering]
[gasps]
Oh, no! Oh, no.
Go back in! Go back in!
No!
[high-pitched snarl]
[growls]
You're tiny!
[growls]
And cute! [chuckles]
[growling] [music]
H-h-hey, that's my stuff!
[growling]
Bad demon! Shoo! Shoo!
[growling]
Shoo!
Oh, no!
[growling]
Maybe that wasn't the best idea.
[growls]
Hey, get outta here!
[growling]
[screams]
- Huh? - What?
[suspenseful music]
[growls]
[screaming]
[roars]
[all screaming]
[screaming]
[yelling]
Wah! [grunts]
You're safe now.
[growls]
Here, demon, demon, demon.
Here, Mongolian fist demony-wemony.
Come out, demon. I have a dumpling for you!
[chewing] I have a dumpling for you.
I have a... [gulps]
Just come out!
[growls] Oh, that's not good.
- Ah! - Oh, no! Monkey!
[grunts] [growls]
Whoa! How'd he get so huge?
[growling]
[grunts]
Oof!
[growling]
[gasps]
Oof! [grunts]
[roars]
[yelling] It's a demon!
[gasps] It's a demon!
[growls] Whoa!
[snarls] [screaming]
[growling]
Lam, Chen, and Yang: Cool!
You guys wait here.
Watch close. You'll see some hitting.
- Go get him! - Yeah, do it!
- Right now! - Anything for my fans.
Now let's find out what you got demon, huh?
What you got?
[growling]
Hwah! Ki-ga!
[roars]
Ya!
[thud]
Whoo! Extra point!
[cheering]
Po is the dragon! He will never be beat.
Po is the warrior! Chee...
[growls]
Did you just get bigger, or did my eyes get smaller?
Hit him, Dragon Warrior!
Pound him, kung fu legend, Puncher of evil!
[growling]
Ya!
Hiya!
Yeah!
- All: Fight! Fight! Fight! - How do you like that hitting?
Lam, Chen, and Yang: Fight! Fight! Fight!
[growling]
I don't like this getting-bigger thingy.
All: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Wait a minute. If hitting it makes it bigger,
then not hitting it... Bring it, demon!
[growling]
That's it!
[growls]
Tell me you've got more than that!
Why are you running from him, Dragon Warrior?
Ah... I'm not running away!
See how I'm awesomely avoiding conflict?
What a rip-off! He's scared of him.
No, I'm not scared of him.
Whoa!
No!
Oof!
- Boo! - He never hits anything.
Use your fist! Use it for punching, Puncher of evil!
Okay, I will! Ah!
[growling]
Lam, Chen, and Yang: Hit! Hit! Hit!
Hit! Hit! Hit!
No.
[snarls]
[yells]
[grunts]
Boo! Get off the stage.
Come on. Let's go.
[solemn music]
[grunts] [snarls]
I may have lost my fans, but I'm not losing to you.
[roars]
[growling]
Huh! [growling]
[thud]
[crash]
[smack]
[growling]
[grunts] Guys! A little help trapping him?
I need a demon jar! Uh... is that a thing?
- Do we have those lying around? - No.
Fortunately, they can be repaired fairly easily.
Now, panda. [growls]
[laughs nervously]
That was an awful lot of trouble just to impress your fans.
I hope it was worth it.
[knock at door]
Whoever enters the Dragon's... Uh, forget it.
Hey.
[sighs] Look, out there...
- Why didn't you fight him? - Aw, you barely hit him at all!
- You let him beat you! - Oh, did I?
All: Whoa!
The Mongolian fist demon.
All: Cool!
[gasps]
You beat it? Incredible! How?
Y-you didn't even hit it!
Being a hero is not all about hitting.
Maybe 10%. And it's 90% about not getting hit.
[belches]
And about 5% gas.
- Can we keep this? - The Mongolian fistemon is one thing,
but, as defeated by the Dragon Warrior, whoa!
Uh, it'd be, like, the centerpiece of our Dragon Warrior fan club.
- Oh, you have a fan club? - Yeah.
We're sorry for doubting you, Po.
Guess we didn't know what it takes to be so bodaciously awesome.
That's all right. And in the coming weeks,
I'll show you a few more kung fu skills.
All: Yeah!
Strength! Hiya!
Stamina! Kee!
And control! Gah!
[jar shattering]
[snarls] Oops.
[screaming]
Bad demon! Down, boy! Ah! No! Ah!
-- sync by Rafael UPD -- www.addic7ed.com
corrections & webdl resync by f1nc0 - - addic7ed.com - -