[gong rings]
? Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda! ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom! ?
? Raised in a noodle shop ?
? never seeking glory or fame ?
? he climbed the mountain top ?
? and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ?
? Hu! Ah! Ya! ?
? Kung Fu Panda! ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom! ?
? Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ?
? and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ?
? Kung Fu Panda. ?
? Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom! ?
? He lives, he trains ?
? and he fights with the Furious Five ?
? protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ?
? somethin' somethin' alive ?
? Oh! Ah! Uh! ?
? Kung Fu Panda ?
? Legends of awesomeness. ?
Sweet!
1x20 - My Favourite Yao
sync by Rafael UPD, corrections by f1nc0 ... www.addic7ed.com ...
Oh, there he is. The master.
- He's coming! Oh! - Master Shifu?
- Ah! - Master Shifu?
You okay up there? You seem a little... giddy.
Ahem. Po, that's ridiculous.
I am not giddy. How could I be?
Everyone, Master Yao is about to arrive
and this place is nowhere near perfect.
Crane, why is there a footprint on this step?
- That's your footprint. - Stop making excuses.
The keeper of the secrets of kung-fu
cannot enter on dirty stairs.
Clean it. [door squeaking]
How come this door is squeaking?
Why isn't this plant blooming?
Master Yao is beeing transported to his meditation tower
to a new home, and a stop over here is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Nothing can go wrong.
What could go wrong with a guy who never
- leaves his box? - [laughing] Oh, "box."
- I don't get it. - When Master Yao travels,
he stays in a box the entire time to avoid any distractions.
A box. Like a box-box? The entire time?
- Yes. - Right. Why is that, now?
Master Yao has the greatest kung-fu mind
this world has ever know.
He was the only one to ever unlock
the mystery of the secret scroll.
And he did it at the age of five.
At six, he invented pruning, and became one of the few people
that really understood how an abacus worked.
But with a great mind came great sacrifice.
He spent a lifetime meditating alone
with no contact to the outside world
and he became the keeper of the secrets of kung-fu.
In his mind, Master Yao holds unimaginable knowledge,
and the power of the universe.
This is why he is under constant threat of kidnapping.
Some would stop at nothing to get the secrets
in his brilliant, beautiful brain.
This is why we must remain vigilant, alert, composed.
[gong rings]
He's here!
- Where shall we put the master's box? - My room!
Uh, that is to say, the Hall of heroes seems an appropriate spot.
I'll go with you so I can properly greet...
After such a journey, I'm sure Master Yao would prefer to rest.
Of course. And under no circumstances
are any of you to disturb Master Yao or his box.
- Even... - Especially you.
[laughing]
Why, yes. We do work great together.
[as Yao] Master Shifu, I know all the secrets of kung-fu,
but it was you who taught me friendship.
[as himself] And you've taught me something, too.
[as Yao] Really? And what is that?
Action figures? You're playing with action figures?
That... is awesome! Hang on, let me get mine.
No! These are not action figures. They're... artifacts.
I'm simply dusting them off.
- This is an artifact? - Yes, it's Master Yao
in his transportation box. It's extremely hard to find.
Rookie move.
Shouldn't have taken it out of the original packaging.
This is just the box I play with.
I also have a Master Yao in a box
in its original box in the closet... in a box.
[laughing] Boxes.
Still don't get it.
- Panda, please. - That's cool.
I know how it is to want to let loose,
break a few rules, and play with your action figures.
- I do not play with... - I know, I know. I get it.
You get to hang with a hero of yours.
That's me, here, every day.
Just keep embracing your inner Po and let it be
more on your outer area there.
[growling]
[door opening]
Uh, Master Yao?
I-I brought you some bean cakes in case you're hungry.
Sorry for bothering you.
[box rattling]
Did you say something?
Because I could open the box.
Right. You're right.
You're sure you're all right?
Maybe I should open the box.
You could've hit your head in transit and no one would know, and, uh...
Well, let me put it this way:
If you don't not want me to not open it, just say so.
Very well, then. As you wish.
Master Yao. It's an honor.
Master Shifu.
- Ooh! You know my name? - I know everything.
Oh, Master Yao. This is a dream come true.
I can't tell you... [gasping]
What are you doing?
So fuzzy! Ahh! Bean cakes!
Yes. I made them for you.
I've been locked away for so long!
So many things to see and touch, and, ooh, look at that!
Just feel this floor. Oh, it's incredible!
Oh, well, if you like that, I have a throw rug
- in my room that... - Look at that armor!
Ah, that's cold! Ah, that's hot!
Ouch! Oh, soft!
Neat! Tasty!
[imitating gong]
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, I love this!
Perhaps I shouldn't have disturbed you.
- Ah, look! A door! - Master!
Ahh!
No! Master Yao?
Oh, no, no, no, no!
[groans]
Hello? Hello?
[groaning]
[rustling]
[door opens] Is someone there?
Master Yao, I, uh... Sorry.
Shifu said I wasn't to disturb you or your box.
- I am Shifu. - Wow, that is wild.
You sound just like him. Can you yell "panda" all angry-like?
- Panda! - You, sir, have a gift.
- Open the box. It's me. - Shifu!
- Oof! - Where is he? Where'd he go?
- What happened? - I opened the box, and he went crazy.
He's gone. I lost Master Yao.
You lost Master Yao? You messed up.
- Shifu actually messed up! - No, I didn't. I...
Oh, yeah you did. You messed up big time!
I did not mess up.
Trust me, if anyone knows about messing up, it's me,
and what we got here is one doozy of a mess-up.
I... [sighs] You're right. I need help.
But wait a minute. You do know a lot about messing up.
- Kind of a hobby. - Po, if anyone can help me...
I can't believe I'm saying this... it's you.
Oh?
Po, I need your help.
Shifu messes up and asks me for help in the same day?!
- Panda! - Ahem, 'course I'll help you.
Shifu and the Dragon Warrior together, solving crimes.
[kung-fu noises] Stopping bad guys.
We're not solving crimes. We're just looking for Master Yao.
[knuckles cracking] And now the student becomes the master.
- What do we do? - First, we panic.
- Gah! - Check. Next? Get a snack.
Hmm. Here.
Third, tell no one. Try to fix it yourself
before anyone finds out and calls you an idiot panda.
Master Shifu?
Nothing!
I need you all to guard Master Yao's box,
which he is in, as is expected of him... to be.
[snaps fingers]
The keeper of the secrets of kung-fu
out there alone and defenseless.
Well, he's not totally defenseless. He's a kung-fu master.
Of the mind, not the body.
Bad news, Temutai.
We tracked Master Yao like you said,
but now he rests in the Jade Palace.
Ah! Now we'll never get him!
Shifu will never be stupid enough to let the master out of his sight.
[maniacal laughter]
Woo-hoo! Ah, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
That's s him! Ha ha!
We will capture Master Yao.
Then all the secrets of kung-fu will be mine!
[maniacal laughter]
- Master Yao! - You'll crash!
[magical chiming]
The clap of stillness.
Both: Cool!
I mean "impressive."
[maniacal laughter] That's wonderful!
Master Yao...
Shifu and the Dragon Warrior.
Temutai and... unnamed thug.
Ooh, introductions! Wonderful!
[laughs]
Get your hands off this flawless specimen of kung-fu perfection.
Let the butt-kicking commence!
Fine, but it is your butt that will be kicked!
[roaring]
[grunting]
- Where'd Master Yao go? - There! [laughs]
Oh, look at those teeth.
And that breath is magnificently awful.
[coughs] I love it!
Your apples are more delicious than anything I've tasted in 65 years.
Thank you. Mwah! Thank you.
Thank you. Mwah! Thank you. Mwah! Mwah!
Thank you! Thank you! Oh, thank you!
That's my wife!
- Ooh, he's so angry. - No! He doesn't... [thud]
know what he's doing. Master Yao!
He could be anywhere!
Then we'll draw him out.
Rule number eight: Sometimes the chaser
- has to become the chase-ee. - I... have no response to that.
Master Yao's about experiencing sights and sounds, right?
Then that's just what we're gonna give him.
Hit it!
[upbeat music]
Ooh!
[vocalizing]
Two, three.
[vocalizing]
Ahh.
What is that wonderful music?
Panda, stop this instant. We're wasting time.
Wasting time like a fox. Look who's here.
[giddy vocalizations]
Master Yao, thank goodness.
Now please, we must get you back into your box.
Oh, certainly. Right after you dance.
Dance, Shifu, dance!
I...
I'd...
rather not.
Hm?
[sighs] What a huge disappointment.
I'm sorry, Master Yao. It's just that...
Master Yao? Master Yao!
- I'm going somewhere! - Master Yao, no!
Come on, you're almost there. No, just kidding.
[laughs]
Oof! Ow, legs!
[grunting]
- Ow, back! - This is so dramatic. I love it!
Ow, fingers!
[screams]
[both screaming]
Looks like it's time for checklist number two.
Checklist number two?
Yeah, for when you try to fix the problem you caused,
but wind up making it worse.
First: Blame someone else. Second...
- I blame you. - Now you're getting the hang of it.
- No? - No.
[thud] Oh!
[screams] Oh!
Master Shi... hey!
This is your fault!
Thanks to you, Master Yao is in grave danger.
Hey, I'm not the one who let Yao out of the box.
All I've tried to do is help,
and you've been fighting me the whole way.
So do you want my help or not... master?
- No! - Ah! Ooh!
Enough of this foolishness.
Now we go with the Shifu checklist.
Number one: We follow those cart tracks and go get Master Yao.
We'll break the area into a grid and search every square inch.
- Or we can just... - I've had enough of your ideas.
Fine, but... eh?
- Tell me the secrets of kung-fu! - Ooh, your horns are so pointy.
Can I touch them?
- What have I done? - Oh, relax. Yao won't say anything.
If I tell you, they won't be secrets. Where's the fun in that?
- Told ya. - Very well.
If I can't have the secrets, then no one will!
You have till morning to change your mind.
Otherwise, your head goes bye-bye.
[metallic clanging] Neat!
Just stay close and... don't do what you normally do.
Master Yao, with your permission, we'd like to rescue you now.
- Master Yao? Master Yao! - Ah, fuzzy!
Any chance we can get this show on the road here?
What's the rush? Can't you see they're having a moment?
This way!
- Ha! - Ooh!
- Your feeble rescue attempt is foiled! - Exciting.
I'm so sorry about this, master.
This is the worst day of my life.
Did you know the hibiscus flower only lasts for one day?
But that day is an amazingly beautiful day.
Thanks to you, today was that day for me.
- Today I really lived. - And now you might really die.
Now are you ready to talk?
Of course. Let's talk about these shackles.
- They're exquisite! - Uh...
[angry snorting]
- I want the secrets of kung-fu! - And I want your outfit.
Fine, then. You can take the secrets with you...
to the grave! Summon the executioner!
[gulps]
- Panda, we have to do something. - Oh, you're asking me for advice.
I-I'm sorry, Po. I shouldn't have yelled at you before.
Oh, it's okay. I guess I wasn't much help.
I was just trying to get you to, you know, loosen up.
Oh, this is sweet.
Any last requests? Perhaps some tearful sniveling
or pointless pleas for your lives?
Yes, I have a last request.
- I'd like to... dance. - I... did not see that coming.
- You ain't the only one. - Please.
I owe it to Master Yao, and myself.
So instead of getting the secrets of kung-fu,
I get to watch you humiliate yourself before your untimely demise?
Something like that.
I'm in. Make sure his wrists stay bound.
Ha! Now we're getting to the good part.
Shifu! Kind of a funny time to let loose, but yeah!
Are... you sure about this?
Yes. All I need from you is some music.
Huh?
Music!
[scatting]
- I think that's enough. - Wait, I'm just starting to loosen up.
Oh, I see what you did. He's free!
[grunting]
That was so dangerous. Love it!
Be right back. Time for the big finish.
- Pretty sweet idea. - Just channeling my inner Po.
[screaming]
Congratulations. You've ruined dance for me forever.
Now... summon the reinforcements!
I don't suppose you have something on your checklist for this.
Blame Crane.
Well, well. You're quite the dancer, fuzzy.
Don't you feel better now?
Yes, master. I do.
[magical chiming]
- Master, how... - I did the eight-armed
Yangtze spleen punch with my mind.
Whoa, cool! But, uh...
couldn't you have done that, you know, before?
And miss out on all that fun?
So... I guess this is good-bye.
Thank you both for such an exhilarating day.
Oh, and fuzzy, remember the hibiscus.
Live each day as if it were your only one to live.
- I will, master. I promise. - Good. I'm very proud of you.
Back to meditating. I love it!
[sniffling] What? It was touching.
I think it would be best if we kept this entire incident quiet.
Sure, as long as you let me play
with your Yao action figure in authentic traveling box.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
-- sync by Rafael UPD -- www.addic7ed.com
corrections & webdl resync by f1nc0 - - addic7ed.com - -