1 00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:04,171 Hi. Ready to order? 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,215 Do you have anything really special? 3 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:09,426 Not according to my high school guidance counselor. 4 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,596 I'll have the veggie plate, but instead of beets... 5 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,766 I want Kale, and instead of broccoli, more Kale. 6 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:19,561 I want the veggies steamed, and instead of dressing, I want lemons. 7 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,438 Don't you need to write this down? 8 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:25,901 I'm afraid if I start writing that down, it'll turn into a suicide note. 9 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,488 I'm assuming this table's gonna have a lot more of those requests? 10 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,658 - Woman: Mm-hm. - Yes. I could tell by the hats. 11 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,879 Earl, I have something new I want you to try. 12 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,839 That's the exact same sentence... 13 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,759 That got me hooked on cocaine in the '803. 14 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,554 It's my new cupcake flavor. 15 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,890 Delicious dark chocolate the ladies can't help but love. 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,017 I'm calling it the Earl. 17 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,812 I know you got that right. 18 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,232 I'm here. I was running late, so I decided to ha” a cab... 19 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,568 And then I remembered I didn't have any money on me. 20 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,028 Then I remembered I didn't have any money at all. 21 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,531 So I walked the whole way here. 22 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,741 The apartment is three blocks away. 23 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,328 Yes, I know. Three blocks and 15 "ho/a, chicas" away. 24 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,749 Well, you can't be late again. I'm already worried about me being late. 25 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,002 Every month. 26 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,171 On my way here, a homeless man asked me for money... 27 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,424 And I told him I usually always give... 28 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,093 But my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal... 29 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,887 And I've lost my family fortune, my Manhattan townhouse... 30 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,265 So I've been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn... 31 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:42,311 But, in spite of it all, I'm optimistic that you and I will achieve success... 32 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,938 In our exciting new cupcake business venture. 33 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,274 And look what he gave me. 34 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,110 You took money from a homeless man? 35 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:54,031 I prefer to think of Bob near the bridge as our first investor. 36 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,240 [Bell dings] 37 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,825 Pick up. Special sandwich. 38 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,244 I can think of even more special sandwich. 39 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:02,456 You, me and a hot blond giraffe. 40 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:08,128 Well, she recently lost her dignity, so you might have a shot. 41 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,966 Hello, today. I have name tag for you. 42 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,927 Only your second day and look, name tag already. 43 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:18,472 As new owner, I am killing it. 44 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,723 Thank you. 45 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,851 Oh, it says carolin. It's Caroline with an e. 46 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:27,230 - I'm Caroline. - As new owner, I am sucking it. 47 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,901 Just put it on. You can't tell an Asian he made a mistake. 48 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:34,154 He'll go in the back and throw himself on a sword. 49 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,572 Thank you, Mr. Lee. 50 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:40,452 You may call me han. H-a—n. No trap in my name. 51 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,998 We should take the first step in our new cupcake business... 52 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,418 By writing Max's homemade cupcakes up on the specials board. 53 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,003 I can't have my name up there. 54 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,256 Everyone I owe money to thinks I live in Seattle. 55 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,511 Oh, we used to own Seattle. 56 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,013 Max, we've gotta get the name out there. 57 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,848 - Create a buzz. - Oh, good idea. 58 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,017 - Let's create a buzz. - To launch our new... 59 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,103 I'm mocking you. 60 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,438 When in doubt, I'm always mocking you. 61 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:12,317 Seriously, Max, this new cupcake business is our lifeline. 62 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,361 A way out for both of us. 63 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,114 And I wanna thank you again for letting me move in. 64 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,366 If there's anything I can do to help you... 65 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,160 You mean besides starting to wait on tables? 66 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:26,039 I meant anything I can do to help you through your breakup with Robbie. 67 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,502 Thanks, but I'm fine. And we're working. 68 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,921 Well, one of us is. 69 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,715 Are you sure you're fine? 70 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,218 - Because I heard you crying last night. - I don't cry. 71 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:42,305 I sold my tear ducts to an organ bank for cash two years ago. 72 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,433 I was on the couch... 73 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,227 And I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. 74 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,063 Really? What did the crying sound like? 75 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,567 [Whimpering] 76 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,448 - I wasn't crying. - Well, then, what were you do...? 77 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,951 So none of my business. 78 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,412 That's right. And remember that. 79 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,164 - Got it. - In fact, let's say... 80 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,959 Anything having to do with my bedroom, my tables or my life... 81 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,503 - You stay away from. - Boundaries, got it. 82 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:18,675 And please, don't tell anyone at work I let you move into my apartment. 83 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,094 That is one boundary we both don't want crossed. 84 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,054 Why? 85 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,056 Hey, roomies. 86 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,225 That's why. 87 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,067 - Hope those sheets are okay. - Don't worry. 88 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,570 I know they're the best you could afford. 89 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,406 Not really. The good ones are on my bed. 90 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,408 Max, that oven is so hot. 91 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,827 Could you do me a favor and open the back door? 92 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,956 We've known each other two days and you're already asking for back door? 93 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,840 Oh, god. 94 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,761 I forgot you're equestrian Barbie. You came with a horse. 95 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:09,267 - Out, horse. Bad. Bad horse. - Chestnut: 96 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,811 [Snaps] 97 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,859 No need to yell. He's a champion. 98 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,822 Champion stink bomb. It's smelling pretty ripe out in that yard. 99 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,116 That's not Chestnut. That's Brooklyn. 100 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,203 Okay, well, I'm watching the champion drop... 101 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,789 Some steaming-hot Brooklyn right now. 102 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,086 Max, I've been thinking about how you completely overreacted... 103 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,965 To your name up on the specials board. Do you think it's a fear of success? 104 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:43,593 I am too poor to have a fear of success. 105 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,639 At business school, we learned every new venture can bring up fear. 106 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:52,102 Is there any way I can do a yelp review of wharton business school? 107 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,482 You're having a hard time imagining this business could ever even happen... 108 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,652 Because nobody ever believed in you or your dreams. 109 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,529 I'm guessing. 110 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,156 I can make this happen, Max. 111 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,200 For me, for you. For us. 112 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,369 Just keep making those amazing cupcakes... 113 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,997 And I'll do the rest till you believe. 114 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:16,501 I believe everything you just said and that children are the future. 115 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,856 Caroline: Max, it's me. 116 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,650 I know it's you. 117 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,069 You sleep with a knife under your pillow? 118 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,656 It's the only home security system I could afford. 119 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,534 And I'm a cutter. 120 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,245 I can't sleep on that couch. 121 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,374 I think Ikea might be the Scandinavian word for sciatica. 122 00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:01,212 And there's weird sounds in the street. I don't have my white-noise machine. 123 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,049 Well, that's puerto rican noise. You'll get used to it. 124 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,302 Can't I just lay down here and get a little sleep? 125 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:10,263 I don't even let the men I sleep with sleep with me. 126 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,976 I can't get into your issues right now. I just need to sleep. 127 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,311 Fine, get in, then. 128 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,231 What is that? 129 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,902 Potato chips. I sleep-eat. 130 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,237 Cool ranch and bacon? 131 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,448 Dude, they're delicious. 132 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,493 - Because of your breakup with Robbie? - Just get in. 133 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:35,080 I have to be in the city to babysit in five hours. 134 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:39,918 [Max sighs] 135 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:44,089 Oh. Great. You're like a night-light. You're so blond. 136 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,593 Caroline: Thank you. 137 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,929 [Front door opens then closes] 138 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,723 Max, someone's in the living room. 139 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,100 [Bedroom door opens] 140 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,769 Max, someone's in the bedroom. 141 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,022 - Robbie? - What's up, babe? 142 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,025 Robbie, what are you doing here? We broke up. 143 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,111 Still? 144 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,362 Yes, still. 145 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:11,533 You hit on me, then she caught you with someone else, in these very sheets... 146 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,952 Which I'm hoping she washed? 147 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,286 Oh, I get it. 148 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,789 You blew me off because you like the ladies. 149 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,124 Which is cool. 150 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,500 I like the ladies too. 151 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,294 And right now, I see two ladies I like. 152 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:28,341 Robbie, if I were gonna go lesbian, she would be the last iez I'd be in. 153 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,468 Listen, babe... 154 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,637 - You've really hurt her. - Stop. 155 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,807 She sleep-eats trans fats, thanks to you. 156 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,809 Here. Stuff all of these in your mouth. 157 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,812 Got it, your thing. I'll be quiet. 158 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,648 -Robbie. Robbie: Yeah? 159 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,775 - This isn't cool at all. - Mm-mm. 160 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:50,780 - Showing up here after what you did. - You go, girl. 161 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,867 I have something to say to you, and you had better listen. 162 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,996 Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. 163 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,415 What are you, the relationship ghost? 164 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,087 Just go. I can't say what I need to in front of the relationship ghost. 165 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,924 I'll call you to come get your stuff and we can talk then. Leave the key. 166 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,095 Straight up, Max. You're breaking my heart. 167 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:17,057 You're the only woman that I feel this way about. 168 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,854 Uh, here. 169 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,732 Ladies, I don't know what's going on here... 170 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,359 But it would've been a lot sexier if I was in it. 171 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,199 Are you okay? 172 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,868 If you wanna talk, I'm here. 173 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,537 Can I get a hit off that? 174 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,462 You think these are good? 175 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,883 God, we're poor. 176 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,058 Morning. It's a beautiful day. 177 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,561 These shades belong down. 178 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:08,483 From now on, think of me as a vampire without all the annoying marketing. 179 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:12,403 Bad news. A pipe broke in the street, so the water's off. 180 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,156 Good news. When I went out to get us coffees... 181 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:18,451 I spoke to Juan and Javier, two city workers... 182 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,496 And they assured me the water will be on no later than 3. 183 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,666 I stopped at the health food store, got a fresh juice to split. 184 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,584 It's ginger apple strawberry. 185 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:30,380 That was the name of the hooker who had this apartment before me. 186 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,009 - What is this? - From me. 187 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,887 Says thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night. 188 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,432 I prefer my usual cash on the bedside table. 189 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:46,771 When I went to the cute coffee place, I spoke to the counter girl, nabulangi... 190 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,690 Whoa. If someone named nabulangi... 191 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,943 Is making an appearance in the first sentence, I have to sit. 192 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,821 And she said her manager will be in at 11. 193 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,449 So I thought I'd Chanel it up, walk on over there... 194 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,952 Introduce myself and your fabulous cupcakes. 195 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:04,164 That's exactly what I was gonna do. 196 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,958 I'm gonna go say goodbye to Chestnut and get going. 197 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:11,296 You know, having only one cute outfit takes hours off getting dressed. 198 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,969 Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn. 199 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,221 Morning, Chestnut. It's a beautiful... 200 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,431 [Thud] 201 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:26,186 No way. 202 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,110 [Whimpering] 203 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,739 Look, Chanel number two. 204 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,325 [Laughs] 205 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,580 Tell me it's mud. Tell me it's mud. 206 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,166 It's mud? 207 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,836 What is that? A carrot? 208 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:57,258 There's carrots in the mud? 209 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,014 There's no water! 210 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,767 Get it off me, please. Please, do something. 211 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,186 Get it off me. Get it off me. 212 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,355 Stop, this is dry-clean only. 213 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:11,981 Max, please. 214 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,192 Take me somewhere they have a hot shower. 215 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,568 I beg of you. 216 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,362 Calm down, it's just mud. 217 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:21,199 - Max, please. - Aah! God! 218 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:29,207 Thank you so much for taking me to shower at your babysitting job. 219 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:33,127 Well, I didn't have much of a choice. You pulled the pillow knife on me. 220 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,297 I'll introduce myself to your boss and tell her what happened. 221 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,550 I don't want peach to know you were here. This is a job, not a meet and greet. 222 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,303 - Got it. - Get in there, take a five-minute shower... 223 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,972 - Clean it up, and go. - Fine. 224 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,307 I'll hide in the hallway till she's gone. 225 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,602 No need. Just follow me in. She never really looks at me. 226 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,480 - Morning. - Hi, Max. 227 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,775 Max [whispers]: Go, go, go. Down the hall. 228 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,310 [In normal voice] Hey, peach. 229 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,405 Uh, hair and makeup. What's the big occasion? 230 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,657 Pilates. 231 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,867 Max, good news. 232 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,787 They found a way to make diamonds more sparkly? 233 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:13,751 I got Brad and Angelina a playdate with another set of twins in the building. 234 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,253 Starts in five minutes. 235 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,547 - Cool, what are their names? - —six b. 236 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,968 Bye-bye, Brangelina. Mommy loves you. 237 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,013 Guys, before you leave, stop at this one. 238 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:29,642 Angelina could use a little help. Contour that neck. She's a fatty. 239 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,436 Peach, come on, that's baby fat. 240 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,938 Still, kids can be cruel. 241 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,275 Don't you listen to your mommy, Angelina. 242 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,901 She never eats. 243 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,404 Oh, no, she doesn't. 244 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,993 Here it is. Caroline with an e. 245 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,162 I have your new and correct name tag. 246 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,457 - Oh, thank you, han. - Oh. 247 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,626 I see something I should not have. 248 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:59,422 I will just put correct name tag here on counter. 249 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:02,300 So sorry but many thank-yous. 250 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,345 What are you doing? 251 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:09,515 I know you said you don't want it up there, but now that you see it... 252 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,225 How does it feel? 253 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,395 Like you're not listening to me at this job or at my other job. 254 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,899 I said five-minute shower and get out. Did you take a nap at peach's? 255 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,360 The thread count was calling to me. 256 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:24,197 Peach found blond hairs in her bed and thought her husband was cheating. 257 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,991 Which he is, but that's not the point. 258 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,702 You almost ruined a perfectly happy fake marriage. 259 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,748 - There are innocent children involved. - Well, I have some good news. Look. 260 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,375 It's nabulangi. 261 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,710 I invited her to taste your amazing cupcakes. 262 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,297 When she loves them, we'll have an in at her bakery. Come say hello. 263 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,175 I can't now. I wanna call Robbie before we get too busy. 264 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,843 Tell him to come get his stuff. 265 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,429 - Max, wait. - No. Don't distract me. 266 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,014 I wanna sound cool and hot... 267 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,850 And all like, "you can't have me anymore, sucker." 268 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,479 - Max. - Robbie, it's me. 269 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,773 Classy burp on your outgoing message. 270 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:04,737 Get your stuff tomorrow. I don't know how you've been surviving... 271 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,657 Without your chin-up bar and axe body spray. 272 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,660 Max, hang up. I already called him. 273 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:13,287 You called Robbie? 274 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,499 You've done so much for me, I wanted to do something for you. 275 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,168 I called Robbie, had him come over, and gave him his stuff. 276 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,421 You won't have to go through with that mess. 277 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:25,133 And I think you'd be pleased, I really let him have it. 278 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,261 What is with you and boundaries? 279 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,556 You're in my bed, in my boss's bed, now you go and call Robbie? 280 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:35,351 You're like your big-ass horse, charging in everywhere you don't belong. 281 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,603 I thought I was doing you a favor. 282 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,272 In spite of what you say... 283 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,191 About the sounds from your bedroom the other night... 284 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,484 I know you're upset. 285 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,903 I was masturbating. 286 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:51,325 I love my job. 287 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,327 I need to see you outside. Now. 288 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,749 Don't get involved with her. She takes money from the homeless. 289 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,668 Not true. Bob's an investor. 290 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,044 Be right back. 291 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,213 Good cupcake, right? 292 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,052 Max, I don't know how smart that was... 293 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,305 Blowing by our only potential business contact. 294 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,557 You stole my breakup scene. 295 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,643 The only good thing about breaking up with a guy... 296 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:21,772 Is telling him how much better you are than him when you give back his stuff. 297 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,817 I don't know if you noticed, but my entertainment budget is low. 298 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,944 I was really looking foward to that. 299 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,988 And then you went and stole it. 300 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,159 I guess you couldn't help it. That's what you channings do. You steal things. 301 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,788 Interesting. 302 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:41,459 Okay. You wanted a breakup scene? You're in one. 303 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:42,960 I'm breaking up with you. 304 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,171 - Oh, okay. - The cupcake business is over. 305 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,464 The dream is dead. 306 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,550 Oh, I'm sure nambulandi will be devastated. 307 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,136 I don't need you or your cupcakes to survive. 308 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:56,307 I'll figure something else out. Aside from your constant putdowns... 309 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,477 I'm a business genius, and I will always land on my feet. 310 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,022 Oh, really? Because today, you kind of landed on your front. 311 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:07,068 We're done. After work tonight, I'll get my things and be gone. 312 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,612 Ooh, you gonna load up your dream-filled wheelie bag... 313 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,114 And ride away on sir muds-a-lot? 314 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,909 Go ahead, be as negative as you want. 315 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,078 You're in charge of your own future again. 316 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:20,706 Oh, joke's on you. I don't have a future. 317 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,680 [Whispers] Max, are you up? 318 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,184 [In normal voice] Max, are you mad? 319 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,854 - Yes. - Are you up and mad? 320 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,607 No and yes. 321 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,026 Oh. Your bed's so soft. 322 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,529 That's my boob. 323 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:56,075 I know I moved out, but I came back. 324 00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,371 I took the rest of our dead dream money and bought some cocktails for myself... 325 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,708 And some people and myself. 326 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,545 Did you bring me back any of those? Because I can't listen to this sober. 327 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,342 I have nothing. 328 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,596 I really need the cupcake business. 329 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,056 I can be different. 330 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,933 No, you can't. 331 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,394 No, I can't. 332 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,689 But I can be better. 333 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,733 Please. 334 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,235 Please, let's do this. 335 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:34,071 I know you have a fear of success. You do. 336 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:38,200 Because no one ever believed in your dreams. 337 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,745 I believe in your dreams. 338 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,747 We have a dream. 339 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,333 God, you are so drunk. 340 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,586 So you probably won't even remember this. 341 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:52,632 I'm sorry I said that stuff about your father. 342 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,968 Did you hear me? 343 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,347 Max, are you up? 344 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,769 Hey, do we have any more of those poor-people chips? 345 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,774 Max: What's up, hangover 3? 346 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:14,111 Why are these up? I thought we were vampires. 347 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,782 Here. I took the rest of last night's cupcake money... 348 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:21,285 And brought you a coffee and a fresh juice. 349 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,372 Which means that after two days in business... 350 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,291 We are $23 down from where we were. 351 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,795 So we're still building our cupcake business? 352 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,296 Sure. 353 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,006 All we need is how much? 354 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,592 Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. 355 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,969 Which is awesome. 356 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,807 Max, I'm sorry I crossed all those boundaries. 357 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,141 It's cool. 358 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:47,770 Me and drunk Caroline worked it all out. In fact... 359 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,773 She signed this paper. 360 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:56,904 "I, drunk Caroline, am a..." 361 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,614 What's that word? 362 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,908 Punk-ass ho. 363 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,956 "I, drunk Caroline, am a punk-ass ho. 364 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,208 I promise to keep my big mouth shut... 365 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,837 And replace all of Max's poor-people chips. 366 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:18,175 I will no longer meddle in her relation-chips." 367 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,429 You laughed about that until you threw up. 368 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,806 Oh, and if you're wondering, no... 369 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:27,351 The puke stains will not void this contract. 370 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,483 I forgot again that we have a horse. 371 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:38,529 Max, get him out of here. He doesn't know I'm a waitress. 372 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,366 Chestnut: 373 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:51,041 He is a champion. He learned that a lot faster than you did. 374 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,989 [English - us - sdh]