1 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:07,132 Evening, hot chocolate. 2 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:10,260 Max, we got big trouble from little China. 3 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,929 Hi, Max. 4 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,598 Big trouble? There's nothing big about him. 5 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,476 He looks like I won him in a bear-claw machine. 6 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,813 What is the worst sentence you ever wanna hear come out of han's mouth? 7 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,066 "I got you pregnant"? 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,070 Come on. Bad, bad. 9 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,656 "I got you pregnant again"? 10 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,409 - "I'm putting in karaoke." - No. 11 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,623 Han, those guys better be up there... 12 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:43,252 Because we're officially putting ass crack on the menu. 13 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,922 I am adding a TV to bring in more customers. 14 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,423 We can have theme nights. 15 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,967 Ultimate fighting night... 16 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,761 Real desperate housewives of bravo city night... 17 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:56,014 And best of all, karaoke night. 18 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,600 You can't give hipsters a microphone. 19 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,062 That's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire. 20 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,607 Hipsters like karaoke. 21 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,318 Replace the word "like" with the word "Hitler"... 22 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,154 And you've got the three worst things in history. 23 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,407 Max, I hear what you say. 24 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:18,579 But everybody else say, "hey, where my single ladies?" 25 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,596 Okay, next person is gonna sing "teenage dream" by Katy Perry... 26 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:39,433 Who is pretty now, but used to have very horrible acne. 27 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,477 This is the third "teenage dream" in 45 minutes. 28 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:46,648 Why don't I just close my nuts in the cashier's drawer? 29 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,652 Come on up now, girl named Stacey. 30 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,404 I got this. 31 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:56,700 Look, I don't know you, but I like you, and I respect both hair choices. 32 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,202 I hate karaoke. 33 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,913 I can't afford to have any more hate in my head. 34 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,666 My hate is at capacity. 35 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,836 Sit this one out, I'll comp your cobbler. 36 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,132 What did you do? 37 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,301 I saved Earl's nuts. 38 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,347 Pick up. Hot food. Pick up. 39 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:22,017 Calm your bells down, Oleg. Not my stations. Where's Caroline? 40 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:26,188 Would it make you jealous if I said she was back here with me? 41 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:29,191 Jealous? No. Pissed, probably, because we're busy... 42 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:33,487 And it would take me all that time to get the duct tape off her mouth and hands. 43 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,198 What are you doing, snow white? 44 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:39,701 If you're looking for one of your dwarves, he's there holding the mic. 45 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,454 Look, my bite is off. See, I did the bite test. 46 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,665 Number 7 incisor is crossing over number 9. 47 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,167 Hold up. You know the names of your teeth? 48 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,712 - Don't you? - I don't even know the name of my father. 49 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,422 Ow, I just bit my tongue. 50 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,425 Ah, number 12 just joined the party. 51 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,386 I'd stop doing that right now. 52 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,772 You just made it into Oleg's spank bank. 53 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,400 Congratulations. 54 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,905 What am I gonna do without my bite guard? 55 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,907 My teeth don't know where to go. 56 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:22,411 They should backpack for a couple of years till they figure it out. 57 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,581 Listen, perfect teeth, this is a nightmare for me. 58 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,209 The technical term for this is advanced bruxism. 59 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,087 And the technical term for you is overly dramatic. 60 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,798 You freaked out because we were out of toilet paper. 61 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,218 Just hold it till you get to work like everybody else. 62 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,347 Now maybe I sing while others wait. 63 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,599 Uh-oh. We got real problems now. 64 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:48,145 I choose Susan boyle popular song from all clips on Internet. 65 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,772 It's called "I dream..." 66 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,526 Keep dreaming. 67 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,578 Oh, you're back. We thought you ran away. 68 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,957 Chestnut and I were just about to pick out another human from the shelter. 69 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:13,128 I had quite a day. Eight to 10, grind, grind, pain. 70 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,130 Ten to 11, pain, pain, grind. 71 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,466 Went to the drug store, bought a bite guard... 72 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,343 Which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth. 73 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,847 When I tried to return it, the cashier, Rhonda, whose name tag said... 74 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,058 She was happy to help, who was neither happy nor helpful... 75 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:31,646 Said that I couldn't return it because it had already touched my "teef." 76 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:36,151 For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge, you're sure flapping it a lot. 77 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,780 Why is this rag with my father on it here? 78 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,157 Don't look at me, Chestnut bought it. 79 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,328 He likes it when I read him his daily horse-oscope. 80 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,831 Why is everybody obsessed with the fact he hasn't said anything? 81 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,042 Haven't you ever been at a loss for words? 82 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,170 Tampons, yes. Words, no. 83 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,214 Well, this will make me feel better. 84 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,800 Whenever I'm in pain, I need a treat. 85 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,302 Whenever you're in pain, that is my treat. 86 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,015 Sushi. I hope you like crab roll. 87 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,517 I never had Sushi. 88 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,977 That doesn't even make sense. 89 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,816 No Sushi, no dentist. Who are you? 90 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,401 A poor person. 91 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,862 Sushi's lazy. 92 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:25,617 If I come to your restaurant, get up off your ass and cook the damn fish. 93 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,870 I wish we could afford to go to this Sushi place in Tribeca... 94 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,747 Where my father always took me. 95 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,207 We had this little joke. 96 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,209 Every time we'd walk in, I'd always say: 97 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,382 And we would just laugh. Ha, ha. 98 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,136 So you're not funny in Japanese either. 99 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:50,058 I got this at a corner deli. The cashier was Japanese. She said it was good. 100 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,518 Oh, I'm sure it's great. 101 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,688 The disenfranchised immigrant serving the spoiled white girl... 102 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,065 Would have no reason to lie. 103 00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,735 Get ready for something heavenly. 104 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,075 That's not heaven. Spit it out. 105 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,371 What a disappointment. Your first time. 106 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:15,208 Well, that's kind of the way it goes with me and first times. 107 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,752 Here. Clean yourself off. 108 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,463 Ha, ha. That's exactly the way it goes. 109 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,603 It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. 110 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:38,940 No, for a dentist's office in the subway, it's pretty good. 111 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,319 Seriously, how are you not running out of here? 112 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,906 I have no choice. Now that I have no money or health insurance... 113 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,909 I have to get used to this third world situation. 114 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,577 Third world situation? 115 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,788 This is an undennorld situation. 116 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,416 Okay, there's bulletproof glass... 117 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,460 With a bullet in it. 118 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:02,422 All right, so the glass works. 119 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,425 It says to sign in. 120 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,139 Why don't you take some of our cupcake business savings... 121 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,016 And go to a good dentist office? 122 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:16,519 One where you won't get a staph infection from looking at the floor. 123 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,105 No, we can't do that. That's our future. 124 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,275 Once we start doing that, it's a slippery slope. 125 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,112 "Nicole Richie"? 126 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,452 I don't want anyone to know I was here. 127 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:39,334 I know this situation is less than ideal, but I am having a dental emergency. 128 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:45,799 No, he's having a dental emergency. 129 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:51,262 Come on, let's go over here and see if this man can help me. 130 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,076 Welcome to subway smiles. 131 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,832 I told you, we'll get to you. 132 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,087 I'm sorry, girls, I'm a little shaky. 133 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,381 I was just shot at. 134 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,843 I have a problem with my teeth migrating. 135 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,469 I have advanced bruxism. 136 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,597 Ah, I have hep c. 137 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,436 Everybody's got their something. 138 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,605 - What do you need? - We need to be leaving. 139 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,816 I just need a bite guard. 140 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,943 Oh, I can do that. 141 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,571 That's where I squirt foam into your mouth... 142 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,406 And make a mold. 143 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,824 Come in the back. 144 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,951 If you go back there with him... 145 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,204 You'll need a bite guard and a rape guard. 146 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,332 - Do you want the gas? - Is that necessary? 147 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,210 You're gonna want the gas, sweetheart. 148 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,220 One more song before we close. 149 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:20,226 I sing spice girls, "oh, tell me what you want, what you really, really want." 150 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:26,399 That boy's more stiff than Michele bachmann's husband at a chippendales. 151 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,403 I will give you the money for trip to fancy dentist. 152 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,947 Really? Oleg, you would do that? 153 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,365 Is favor I do for you. 154 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,743 At some point when I come to you for favor... 155 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,412 You will say yes like I say yes now. 156 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,624 Well, I'd need to know what that favor might be. 157 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,584 I can't say for sure. 158 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,586 Will it be in a week or a month? 159 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,588 I can't say for sure. 160 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,591 - Will it be sexual? - Yes, it will be. 161 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,095 This I can say for sure. 162 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,764 Thank you, but no. 163 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,935 I am such an idiot. 164 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,270 I like it. Keep going. 165 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,774 My bite guard is sitting in the bathroom of my town house. 166 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,610 If I could only get up on the roof, I could break in... 167 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,279 Like I used to when I snuck out in high school. 168 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,824 Hello, I'm Max. Have we met? 169 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,828 When I was 15, I paid the security guys extra to not wire the skylight... 170 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,789 Then I snuck out and went to Liana shapiro's sweet 16. 171 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,707 - Cute. - In Greece. 172 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,335 Hard-core. 173 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:31,840 I used to sneak out of the house and huff spray paint with an ex-marine. 174 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,134 And sometimes, I'd just sneak out... 175 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,470 Look up at the stars and dream. 176 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,806 And then you said that. 177 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,564 Caroline: See, I told you I could get the skylight open. 178 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,442 Max: Turn on a light. Caroline: Wait till I close the closet door. 179 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,611 Max: Why are the floors so bouncy? 180 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,322 Caroline: It's called carpet. 181 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,951 What? 182 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,121 No way. No way. 183 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,665 Is this narnia? 184 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,043 I'm about to say something I swore I'd never say. 185 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,046 OMG. 186 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,717 Again, OMG. It's lame, but nothing else really nails it. 187 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:19,429 This is the room that OMG was born for. 188 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,306 Max, it's just my closet. 189 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,224 Your clothes have a house. 190 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,434 Look, look. 191 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,437 You are rich. 192 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,900 Like, I know you said you were rich, but you are rich. 193 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,651 You're embarrassing me. 194 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,779 Are you crazy? This is nothing to be embarrassed about. 195 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,949 What's this do? 196 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:45,330 Oh, my god, you have a shoe rotisserie. 197 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:49,709 I designed it. I call it my Ferris heels. 198 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:54,631 I'd judge you if that wasn't exactly what I'd call it if I had one. 199 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,009 Okay, we should really go now. Let me just grab my bite guard. 200 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013 What? 201 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,976 You have a museum in your closet? 202 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,978 Come on, it's just a bathroom. 203 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,438 Just a bathroom? 204 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,399 It's the louvre of pooping. 205 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,110 Here it is. 206 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,160 Ow. Ow. Ugh. 207 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,163 Ah. Oh, yeah. 208 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,708 Do you two need to be left alone? 209 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,170 We have to go. Can't risk staying much longer. 210 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,674 Wow, just when I thought your voice couldn't get any more grating. 211 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,801 It'll loosen up. 212 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,845 Oh, I know what we need. 213 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,350 Seriously, we should go. 214 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:51,771 Oh, um, I just have to do one thing before we go. 215 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,155 I think me and your tub are going steady. 216 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,117 Oh, you found the jacuzzi button. 217 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,036 I don't know who found who, but we're together now. 218 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,708 I'm totally stealing some of these ridiculous bath soaps. 219 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,918 This one's shaped like a vagina. 220 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,753 It's a seashell. 221 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,798 Sister, this is a mint-green vagina. 222 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,095 Did you go to the prom with your dad? 223 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,307 That's my debutante dance when I came out. 224 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:31,060 Out? Like you came out that you were dating your dad? 225 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:36,607 Gross. I think I can still fit a goose-feather pillow in. 226 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,529 Hey, what's this one of you and Chestnut and your dad? 227 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,407 Oh, that's when my dad bought Chestnut for me. 228 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,327 It was my first period present. 229 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,246 Your dad got you a horse for getting your period? 230 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,457 OMG. 231 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,668 You know how I celebrated getting my period? 232 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,464 Stole a painkiller and half a beer from my mom's boyfriend. 233 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:03,051 It wasn't a horse, but it was pretty awesome. 234 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,846 How come there are no pictures of your mom? 235 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,389 Because there aren't any. 236 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,477 She cheated on my dad when I was 5 and my grandmother got rid of her. 237 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:16,731 Not in, like, a mob way. In a society way, which is worse. 238 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,441 So who raised you? 239 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,904 Well, estella from 1989 to '96... 240 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:27,742 Then Dominica from '97 until she went back to Guatemala... 241 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,369 Then no one. 242 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,415 Funny. You didn't have a father, I didn't have a mother. 243 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,709 - So we're kind of... - Oh, we're alike? 244 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,379 Look around. We have nothing in common. 245 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,675 - Hey, what's this button for? - Music. 246 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,970 Oh, let me guess. Show tunes? Boy bands? 247 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,849 - I love this song. - I love this song. 248 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,035 [The black kids' "I'm not gonna teach... 249 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:35,059 See, I knew what we had in common wouldn't last. 250 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,396 - Were you crumping for a second? - Maybe. 251 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,648 Were you tootsie-rolling for a second? 252 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,568 Pfft. Yes. 253 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,780 - Get dressed. We really should go now. - Okay. 254 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,407 I have all the essentials. 255 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,452 Tampons, toilet paper, comforter, body shimmer. 256 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,245 Wait. What about the clothes? 257 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,458 Oh, what am I gonna do, walk around williamsburg in a $3000 gown? 258 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,043 Oh, my god, wait a minute. 259 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,172 Grab everything with a price tag on it that we can resell... 260 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,382 Or that you think I'd look amazing in. 261 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,137 Not the furs! They're wired. 262 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,930 Why would you wire the furs? 263 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,224 Everybody wires the furs, bitch. 264 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,812 Security's gonna be here in 10 minutes. Grab everything you can. 265 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:24,025 Wait. How are we gonna carry it all back to Brooklyn? 266 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,527 Man: Watch the doors, please. 267 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,868 Watch the closing doors, please. 268 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,912 Jealous? 269 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,373 Look, two seats. 270 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,135 I think you got more stuff than me. 271 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:54,680 Well, you spent five minutes saying goodbye to the tub. 272 00:16:56,474 --> 00:17:00,311 This was my fave purse to take dancing. 273 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,856 How'd you keep it on your shoulder when you went all mad crump? 274 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,568 Look, $200. 275 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:11,822 It's not enough we're sitting on the subway in furs, you gotta make it rain? 276 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,701 This is so exciting. It's going right into our cupcake fund. 277 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,204 - Or... - Or what? 278 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,207 Where was that place you always went with your dad? 279 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,043 Toro with black truffle. 280 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,088 You are about to have a Sushi toro-gasm. 281 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,006 Will you calm down? It's just... 282 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:33,261 Oh, sweet bejesus, that's delicious. 283 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,139 If this is Sushi, what was that other stuff we ate? 284 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,684 Wrong, on every level. 285 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,019 We need more of this. Like, all of it. 286 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,689 Can we have some more toro? Thank you so much. 287 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:45,898 And: 288 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,995 I get it now because I'm rich. 289 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,958 I don't know how you're pulling it off. 290 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,587 - What do you mean? - Giving up everything that you had. 291 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,882 The maids, the closet, the dentist, the Sushi, the tub, all of it. 292 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:18,180 I almost can't give it up and I only had it for an hour. 293 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,557 You're kind of a badass. 294 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,561 Max, you just called me a badass. 295 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,856 I'm drunk on black truffle. 296 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,902 It's my dad. 297 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,696 Wait, he actually exists? 298 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,406 Like the town house and the tub? 299 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,493 Hi, daddy. How are you? 300 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,079 I miss you so much. 301 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,956 I'm good. No, really. 302 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,418 I'm still staying in Brooklyn with my friend Max. She's great. 303 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,467 Oh, okay. Hold on. Love you, daddy. 304 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,011 - He wants to talk to you. - Me? Why? 305 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:02,224 - I wouldn't know what to say. - Take it. He's only allowed five minutes. 306 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,772 Ahem. Yo, what's up, Martin Channing? 307 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:14,028 You're welcome, but I di... 308 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,864 Well, thank you. 309 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,658 Yeah, she's great. 310 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,701 Real trouper. 311 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,704 Well, bye. What? 312 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,874 Okay, I'll tell her. 313 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,585 Daddy? 314 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,046 He's gone. 315 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,049 So that's what a father sounds like. 316 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,467 What did he say? 317 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,388 He wanted me to remind you to wear your bite guard. 318 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,517 See? He can't be as bad as everyone says. 319 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,768 He just can't be. 320 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:55,027 Oh, my god. The 200 didn't cover it. 321 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,862 Start checking the purses. 322 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,741 Oh, hey, do you take hats? 323 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,372 Any cougars in the house? 324 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:12,753 In case you don't know, "cougar" means older lady with a large sexual appetite. 325 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,632 Lady past prime with tight clothes who wants sex from young men. 326 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,803 Max, what is the one thing worse than karaoke? 327 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,054 - Oh, no. - That's right. 328 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,265 Open mic night. 329 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:27,643 Cougar also have face-lift. From behind look 22. 330 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,687 She turn around, 72. 331 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:34,984 It's true. It's funny because it's true. 332 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:39,488 Bad news. They heightened security because we tripped the alarm. 333 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,491 The entire town house is locked down. We can never go back. 334 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:43,784 My tub. 335 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,871 Why does anything that gives me pleasure wind up behind bars? 336 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,914 Forget about the tub. 337 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,584 Everything was inventoried. We can't sell the furs. 338 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,919 - I should've thought of that. - You should've. 339 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,714 Because you know they always inventory the furs, bitch.