1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:07,341 Evening, ladies. Gals' night out? Chasing guys, eating pie, having fun? 2 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:11,845 This table is sticky. Run a damp rag across it. 3 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,933 Would it kill you to clean a little? What kind of place is this? 4 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,060 The kind that serves soup cold. 5 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,939 And what's with your crazy earrings? What are you, some kind of gypsy? 6 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,815 Okay, whoa. Hold up, ladies. 7 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,277 You don't get a bitch pass just because you're old. 8 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,031 Yes, that's right, I said it. 9 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,034 You come in with your gangster granny attitude and think... 10 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,579 You can get away with dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress. 11 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,874 No way. At this diner we don't discriminate due to age. 12 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:44,378 If you're gonna act like an ass, I'm gonna treat you like an ass. 13 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:49,132 No matter how close that ass is riding to the floor. 14 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:54,179 Now. I'll wipe off the table, we'll take it from the top. 15 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,683 Hi. I'm Max. Who wants tapioca? 16 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,064 That's more like it. Save the disappointment for the grandkids. 17 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,120 Max: Earl, I need another book of checks. 18 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,956 The last one fell between the refrigerator and the oven. 19 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,918 I'd reach for it, but that falls between "I don't do that” and “oh, hell no.” 20 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,089 Look over there, Max. Men and women in suits. 21 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,259 This neighborhood is on the rise. I remember a time... 22 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:36,221 When a black man couldn't get a cab around here. That time was Wednesday. 23 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,642 Max, I was just talking to the smart couples in booth two. 24 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,521 I know they're smart because they're the first people in here who ever ordered... 25 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:47,858 The croque monsieur as "croque monsieur," not "crock monster." 26 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,362 They wanna meet the woman who made the cupcakes. 27 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,823 I told them you'd be over. Go. They're so nice. 28 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,035 They're not nice. They're trendy, blood-sucking locusts who come... 29 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:01,455 Into this neighborhood to pillage and destroy everything I care about. 30 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:06,126 I felt the same way when the Hilton sisters crashed my 21st birthday. 31 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,588 What? 32 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,423 You made these cupcakes? 33 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,718 Yeah, what's the problem? Spit it out, I've got a life. 34 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:18,597 We just wanted to tell you that your flavor palate is amazing. 35 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,475 I don't know who you are, or where you came from... 36 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,560 Neither do I. Heh. 37 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,355 But these are fabulous. 38 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,525 Welcome to the neighborhood. I knew I liked you guys. 39 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,530 So, what did the trendy locusts want? 40 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,325 You are so judgmental, you know that? 41 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,703 They wanted to tell me the cupcakes are fabulous. 42 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,914 Thank you! Maybe you'll finally get it... 43 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,750 If someone besides me tells you how good they are. 44 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,044 I believe the word was "fabulous." 45 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,588 Pick up, Max. 46 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,632 Oleg, from now on you may call me: 47 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,134 "Countess Max of the fabulous cupcakes." 48 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,721 And you may call me "sir Oleg of the amazing party in my pants." 49 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:09,398 Caroline, the happy, shiny people in suits ask me to give you this note. 50 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,899 Oh, what a great idea. 51 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,068 They suggested we sell Max's cupcakes... 52 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,612 At the new coffee place in their building. 53 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:19,241 But you already sell cupcakes here in my diner. 54 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,577 We're building a cupcake business that will one day get us out of here. 55 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,746 That's what we're trying to do with our lives. 56 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:29,167 But I thought we had something special. 57 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,586 Yes, but we're not exclusive. 58 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,132 The diner's cute, but I want more than this. 59 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,429 Oof. First girlfriend all over again. 60 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,518 Hey, Johnny. Max has the tables against the wall. 61 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,439 We're good in your section. Caroline, I want you to meet my buddy Carlos. 62 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,607 What's happening? 63 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,695 Hi. Well, I'm working the counter. 64 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,824 "What's happening?" Dude, you have a literature degree from nyu. 65 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,244 I didn't mean to say that, but when I get nervous, rico suave comes out. 66 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,746 It won't happen again. 67 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,165 And here's two menus. 68 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,792 What's happening? 69 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,962 Dude, I'm nervous. 70 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,715 Guys, I'm in that section over there. 71 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,550 Uh, we're good in Caroline's area. 72 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:22,637 Well, if you like hot coffee in your pants area, you're in the right place. 73 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,057 Actually, I like that. 74 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,769 Coming right at you. 75 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,606 Johnny's in your section. 76 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,275 Yeah, why? He comes in here every night to see you. 77 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,277 He's your friend or crush or whatever he is. 78 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,571 Shh! He's not a crush. He's a... 79 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,241 I don't know what he is, but whatever he is, he's in your section. 80 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,290 - Max. - Ooh, you're not supposed to be in here. 81 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,542 I know, I'm a bad boy. 82 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,172 Look, the reason I'm not in your section is because Carlos... 83 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:01,009 Is crushing on Caroline. He asked me to do what I can to hook them up. 84 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:05,222 Oh, so now you're a bartender, a street artist and a pimp. 85 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,183 Nothing wrong with pimping some boy on the side. 86 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,227 Keeps me in spray paint and whatnot. 87 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,605 So from pimp to pimp. 88 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,025 Help me out with your girl? 89 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,946 My girl don't come cheap. 90 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,158 Is it hot in here? 91 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,037 Yes. And we're in a freezer. 92 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,164 Yes. My freezer. 93 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,628 I was just talking to Max. Um, I'll see you out there. 94 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,636 - So is this what you like in a man? - What? 95 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,224 No, he's just a customer that went rogue. 96 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:54,813 He is weak and girlish. A woman like you needs a real man. 97 00:05:55,021 --> 00:06:00,026 You know what they say: "Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with sex pain." 98 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,951 That probably lost some of its sensual appeal in the translation. 99 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,661 But thanks for the offer, Oleg. 100 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,543 He's cute, but I'm not interested. Besides, he's not my type. 101 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:20,463 Just say it: You're not interested in him because he's puerto rican. 102 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,216 Where did you get this idea that I would only date white guys? 103 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,595 For your information, I've dated all kinds of men. 104 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,389 I once had a spaniard in monte Carlo. 105 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,892 Isn't that the title of an abba song? 106 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,561 Are you sure about this? 107 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:38,523 He's cute, and trust me, you could use a little salsa on your white rice. 108 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:43,612 Max, I just lost every dollarl had. The last thing on my mind right now is guys. 109 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:47,741 Any type of guy. Except this guy. 110 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,618 Hi, Chestnut. 111 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,997 I'm more concerned with our business and getting my head back above water. 112 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,832 Men will come sooner or later. 113 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:59,502 Well, according to my research, most men come sooner. 114 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,214 I thought we should stop by the new coffee place tomorrow... 115 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,383 And introduce ourselves and your cupcakes. 116 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,802 I'm not gonna walk in there. Feel like I'm selling out. 117 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:12,182 Okay. Let's re-frame the phrase "selling out" and make it "sold out." 118 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:16,227 As in, "Max, we sold out of the cupcakes and are now successful." 119 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,649 What's that you say? I can now afford to buy the waxed dental floss again? 120 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:26,196 Fine. But I'm only doing it so you'll get your mind off the business and get laid. 121 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,323 Why do you think I need to get laid so badly? 122 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,660 If I'd gone through the tension and trauma that happened to you... 123 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,537 I'd be climbing telephone Poles to take the edge off. 124 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,666 Trust me, sex is the last thing on my mind right now. 125 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,211 Oh, and speaking of re-framing things, I have a surprise. 126 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,129 I redecorated my room. 127 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,965 I scoped out some cheap fabric... 128 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,425 And bedding places down on Houston street. 129 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,302 What do you think? 130 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,683 I think you've made a vagina. 131 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,895 What? 132 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:03,650 Sister, you may think that sex is the last thing on your mind, but... 133 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,069 You turned your bed into a vagina. 134 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:11,658 - You think my vagina has curtains? - I don't know how long it's been. 135 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,160 I'm tired. I'm going to bed. 136 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,997 I still have to make cupcakes to bring by tomorrow. 137 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,916 I don't want to keep you awake, so you sleep in my bed... 138 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,918 And I'll pass out on your vagina. 139 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,296 Okay, but you better buy me breakfast in the morning. 140 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:34,472 I love this place. Looks like Paris in the '20s. 141 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,058 More like poseurs in their 20s. 142 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,644 Man, they have really cleaned this place up. 143 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,187 You've been here before? 144 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:45,692 It used to be a liquor store owned by an old Irish guy with freckles on his penis. 145 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,278 Sometimes he'd corner you and flash it. 146 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,031 But then he'd always comp you a free lotto ticket. 147 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:55,535 Let's try and keep that sort of charming nostalgia out of our sales pitch. 148 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,580 That's the owner. I scoped it out before you got here. 149 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,041 Remember, I'll do the talking. 150 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,668 - Why don't I get to talk? - Freckle penis. 151 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,628 And besides, I have more experience. 152 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,256 All who've pitched business models to Warren buffett... 153 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,718 As a member of the Phillips exeter entrepreneurs club, raise their hand. 154 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,555 If you care enough to raise your arms about it... 155 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,807 Fine, you talk. I won't say anything. 156 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,394 Hi, what can I get for you? 157 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,440 Hi, I'm Caroline. And this is my business partner, Max. And you are? 158 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,442 - Semhar. - Oh, jeez. 159 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,194 Such a pretty name. 160 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,821 It means "light of the tiger" in sanskrit. 161 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,406 Oh, jeez. 162 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,949 It's my yoga name. 163 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,243 Help me, god. 164 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,955 Well, semhar, we just opened a local neighborhood cupcake company. 165 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:45,168 Our card. We're introducing our exciting product to local boulangeries. 166 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,170 Please try a sample. Max? 167 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,466 Would you like coconut coffee, chocolate curry or blueberry lemon zest? 168 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:55,678 My absolute fave is the coconut coffee. Let's start with that, shall we? 169 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,557 Thank you, but no thank you. 170 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,018 Well, can I ask you why? 171 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:06,106 - They're not pretty enough. - Excuse me? 172 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,150 They're not pretty enough. 173 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:13,363 Perhaps if you tried one, you'd see how amazing our flavor palate is. 174 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,534 Hold off, flava flav. What do you mean, they're not pretty enough? 175 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,203 They have a charming, homemade look. 176 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,290 But my customer would prefer a more upscale, prettier product. 177 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,211 Just fyi, some upscale residents in this very upscale building where... 178 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:32,423 Your upscale store actually is located, recently told us they were fabulous. 179 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,511 I understand, but they're not pretty enough. 180 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,055 Listen, battlefield earth. 181 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:48,106 This is williamsburg, Brooklyn, and no amount of exposed brick and paint... 182 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,234 Can change the fact that right where you're standing... 183 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:55,405 I've seen Tommy o'hanlon's wingwang more times than I care to remember. 184 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,825 And I must say, it was way less offensive than your attitude. 185 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,120 And you can shove that up your upscale. Let's go. 186 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,665 - Namaste. - Namaste. 187 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,841 What's with the empty hands, Max? No cupcakes tonight? 188 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,427 They were bugging me. Decided to take a night off. 189 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,554 Be careful with decisions like that. 190 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,599 In 1987, I took a night off from earth, wind and fire... 191 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,477 And the next day, they earth, wind and fired my ass. 192 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,733 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 193 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,110 Mid-afternoon nap in your vagina? 194 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,570 I wish. No. 195 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:39,532 I went to a cheap bakery-supply store in greenpoint and got us some supplies. 196 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,577 Here. It's the basic cake decorating kit. 197 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,413 And best of all, I found us a fun, reasonable two-session... 198 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:49,459 Cupcake decorating class at a bakery. We can learn how to make pretty roses. 199 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,878 No way. The cupcakes don't need to be pretty. 200 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,881 They compensate by having a great sense of humor. 201 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,176 Pretty cupcakes is just another option for our business. 202 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,471 People want pretty, we do pretty, or people want homemade, we do... 203 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,849 - Wait, where is our homemade? - I didn't make any tonight. 204 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,643 You didn't make any? 205 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:10,188 You get one piece of constructive criticism and you stop making them? 206 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:15,526 Max, it's business, and maybe semhar has a point about making them pretty. 207 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:20,031 First of all, what does she know about pretty? The woman has dreadlocks. 208 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:25,370 Her head looks like the stuff you empty out of a vacuum cleaner bag. Not pretty. 209 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:30,750 Forget her. What's happening with you? What's your problem with pretty? 210 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,836 Don't wave your divas live hand at me. 211 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:39,384 I think society is way too concerned with other people's idea of what's pretty. 212 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,928 You don't think you can do it. 213 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,180 That's what this is about. It's not society. 214 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,015 You're afraid you can't do pretty. 215 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:50,144 Look, I don't do pretty the way you don't do Puerto Ricans. 216 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,773 What are you talking about? I'll do Puerto Ricans. 217 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,609 All right. Then go do one and leave me alone. 218 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,446 Max, it's a skill, that's all. 219 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,032 It's not shameful to not know how to do something. 220 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,535 Didn't you have piano lessons growing up? 221 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,412 Seriously? 222 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,455 Ice skating? 223 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,541 Closest I've come to blades on ice... 224 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:15,003 Was when a pregnant girl pulled a knife on me at a hockey game. 225 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,881 Look, you and I have a business and this is a skill we need. 226 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,135 We're going to that class and we'll master making pretty roses. 227 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,970 I know you hate anything trendy... 228 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,265 So I found us a family-owned Italian bakery in Brooklyn. 229 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,641 Italians. Good. 230 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,477 They'll know where to dump the body after I kill you. 231 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,444 First of all, welcome to spice and sugar. 232 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,739 We did a little twist on the traditional "sugar and spice." 233 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,657 Putting spice first because... 234 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,743 - We're Italian. - We're Italian. 235 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,580 And we always got the spice up front and a little in the rear. 236 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,915 - Holla! - Holla! 237 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,085 Now are you embarrassed you ever said "holla"? 238 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,838 My name is Stephanie, and this is my cousin Serena. 239 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,507 This bakery has been in our family for years... 240 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,926 And then we took it over, and made it... 241 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,262 - Hot! - Hot! 242 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,600 Let's go around and introduce ourselves and tell us why you came tonight. 243 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,435 Let's start with the cute guys. 244 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,812 - Always! - Always! 245 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,982 I'm Steve. I thought this would be fun for my bachelor party. 246 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,817 I'm getting married to Michael. 247 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,152 Right there. 248 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,820 So cute. God bless. 249 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:28,034 - I'm Michael as well. - Michael. 250 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,455 So many Michaels. And you are? 251 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,666 No, I'm Max. 252 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,586 Oh, she's funny. So cute. God bless. 253 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,880 And I'm Caroline. I'm Max's partner. 254 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,966 - Oh, so many gays tonight. - I know, right? 255 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,219 No, I'm her business partner. 256 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,930 We have our own cupcake business in williamsburg... 257 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,182 And I must say, we're doing very well. 258 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,601 Max is the baker, and I'm the business head. 259 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:57,563 We're here to increase our skill and take our business up to a level that's... 260 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,358 "Hot" as well. 261 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,611 If you talk that much, no one will have time to learn anything. 262 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,572 I know, right? 263 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,241 So where's your shop? 264 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,077 Right now we're just working out of our apartment. 265 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,995 - So no shop? - Aw, that's sweet. 266 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,873 - Cute. - Yeah, good luck. God bless. 267 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,292 - Can you say "jealous"? - Serena: All right. 268 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,962 Let's start simple, with a pretty little icing flower. 269 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,382 Everybody pick up your piping bag with a straight edge tip. 270 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,592 But you guys can use your gay edge tip. 271 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,055 All right, everybody watch Stephanie. 272 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,433 You take the nail head and make a little u... 273 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,852 So you get little petals. Do this five times. 274 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,021 And then, you have a pretty little five-petal flower. Simple. 275 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,691 So cute. How fun. 276 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,360 No. You gotta start by making a u. 277 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,778 I did. That's a u. 278 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,072 Serena, is that a u? 279 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,326 Fine. I'll start over. 280 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:56,205 That was a u. What, just because I don't have a quote-unquote "shop"... 281 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,666 I don't know a u? What's with the attitude? 282 00:15:58,875 --> 00:15:59,959 All right, let's leave. 283 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,128 Next time the gays giggle, we'll slide out. 284 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,839 No. We're here to learn. 285 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,967 - That looks good. - I suck. I'm starting over. 286 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:11,429 - Max, why'd you do that? It was good. - Not good enough. 287 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,889 You two not done yet? 288 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:17,560 You have to master the little flower or when we do roses, you'll be screwed. 289 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,437 - Right, coz? - Oh, totally screwed. 290 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,105 Screwed, and not in the good way. 291 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:28,029 Could we convince them that slapping each other's face is the new high-five? 292 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,949 Steve, oh, my god. 293 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,911 That Rose is gorgeous. Good for you. 294 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,872 All right, one more minute, and we'll display our roses. 295 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,167 Psst. Steve. Little help. 296 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:45,171 I choke at timed tests. I got like a 40 on my sats. 297 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,423 Damn it, Steve. 298 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,008 Look at this place. 299 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,678 There's no way these girls could have this much success in this economy. 300 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,723 - The overhead on this building alone? - What are you saying? 301 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,266 I'm not saying mob money. 302 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,995 I'm just saying, maybe we'd have a shop too if we had mob money. 303 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,104 Shh! Keep it down. 304 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:06,108 Do you want to wake up tomorrow with Chestnut's head in your vagina bed? 305 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,319 Time's up. Let's see what you got. 306 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,073 What is that? There's like nothing there. 307 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,366 That's not a Rose. 308 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,035 - It's minimalist. - Uh-huh. Whatev. 309 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,079 No, not "whatevs." Brilliant. 310 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,331 And I'd know, because when I was in Tokyo... 311 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,917 I had a private Japanese flower-arranging class... 312 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,127 With the head of the ikebana institute. 313 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,629 And he said I had a gift. 314 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:27,922 In his words: 315 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,410 "Caroline." 316 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,473 Whatev. Okay, what about your friend there? 317 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,392 Kind of ran out of time. 318 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,436 Ugh. You had 20 minutes. I thought you were the baker. 319 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,106 You need to be able to whip these out in 20 seconds... 320 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,483 If you want to succeed in your little bakery. 321 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:51,737 "I'd like a cupcake." "That'll be 12 hours." 322 00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,531 Right? Serena: Right. 323 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,951 - And they have to be prettier than that. - Maybe you'll do better tomorrow. 324 00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:01,289 Remember, your homework assignment is to bring in a cupcake... 325 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,708 With a pretty Rose on it. 326 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,076 Ugh. Right. 327 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:09,797 Like we're gonna come back and spend time with these Robert denir-hos. 328 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,887 Ugh. That one stinks too. Damn it! 329 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,019 Max, forget it. It's 3 am. Go to bed. 330 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,689 Don't say anything to me. I am so mad at you right now. 331 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,649 - What did I do? - Everything! 332 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,484 I used to love making cupcakes. 333 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,070 It was the one thing I could do without thinking. 334 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,741 Now all I'm doing is thinking. Thinking that I stink at making cupcakes. 335 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:37,992 Well, stop it. 336 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:42,288 Who cares what they think? They're bitchy baking bullies. 337 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,123 We don't have to go back there. 338 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,374 And then what? 339 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:48,544 I'll think my cupcakes weren't good enough for the rest of my life? 340 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,088 You said we need the skill, then we need the skill. 341 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,174 I'm a lot of things, but not a quitter. 342 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,135 I'm gonna make a stupid, pretty cupcake if it kills me. 343 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,428 Or you. 344 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,264 You are going back with me. 345 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,977 We're gonna shove our pretty cupcake right up snooki and her cousin's asses. 346 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:09,815 Now shut up, don't talk to me, and go back in your vagina. 347 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,528 I'm sorry you had to see that, Chestnut. 348 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,452 Ohh. Not very pretty. 349 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,579 But at least you tried, Michael. 350 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:24,872 Just one question. 351 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,833 Are you sure that you're gay? 352 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,589 Okay, Caroline. Let's see your pretty Rose. 353 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:37,510 I didn't do one. Society is too concerned with other people's idea of pretty. 354 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,553 - Whatevs. - Whatevs. 355 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,473 Okay, what about your baker there? She bail too? 356 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,226 No. Here it is. 357 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,853 Serena: Oh. Max: Mm-hm. 358 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,342 Caroline: Max, that's so pretty. 359 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,315 I'm so proud of you. 360 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,443 Good work. God bless. Good for you. How long did it take you? 361 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:57,655 About three hours and 40 minutes, but I did it. 362 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:01,117 Just wanted to show you, and myself, I could make something pretty. 363 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,993 And now that I have... 364 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,829 Stephanie & Serena: Oh! 365 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,630 That cupcake wasn't me. I don't do pretty. 366 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,842 But I did make each of you a cupcake that says what I feel... 367 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,593 About this cupcake class. 368 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,847 This one says "bite me." 369 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,267 This one says "screw u." 370 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:32,148 - You see that u? That's a u. - Holla. 371 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,612 Well, good luck with that. 372 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,365 People don't want cupcakes that insult them. 373 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:46,203 Oh, my god. Max, that's our thing. I was wrong. You were right. 374 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,290 We don't need to make pretty cupcakes. Everyone does pretty. 375 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,334 We have to do what you do best. Insult people! 376 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,421 Yeah, who's gonna buy that? 377 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,715 We will. For our shower. 378 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,176 And really let us bitches have it!