1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:07,216
It's the woman at table 2's birthday
and her husband wants us to sing to her.

2
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,344
If I had a dollar every time a man
asked me to do something to his wife...

3
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,678
I'd be a millionaire.

4
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:16,934
I remember when "happy birthday"
first came out.

5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,311
Never thought it would catch on.

6
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,980
Go. And smile.

7
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:26,777
When you fake smile,
everybody else fake smile back.

8
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,113
Nobody wants to hear that lame song.

9
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,159
If we wanna humiliate her in public,
why don't we go and pull her top down?

10
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,828
Come on, let's just go sing
and make the best of it.

11
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,205
[Max sighs]

12
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,123
Hi. Ready?

13
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,708
One, two, three.

14
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:47,089
[Singing] Happy birthday to you

15
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,762
ma'am, I apologize.

16
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,515
Your husband took you
to a diner on your birthday...

17
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,059
And now you gotta listen
to white Mariah?

18
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,356
Cupcake's on me.

19
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:10,821
[Singing] To you

20
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,839
I have announcement to make.

21
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,508
I agree with what Max said before.

22
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:35,470
That we should tie a little bell around you
so we know when you're near?

23
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,808
That the "happy birthday"
song is very lame.

24
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,562
The diner needs a fresh new way
to celebrate customer birthday.

25
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,815
So I just went and wrote a special song.

26
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:50,652
I'd be happy to look at what you've
written. I took music theory in college.

27
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:54,615
I once wrote an entire original musical
based on the French revolution.

28
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,159
Um, sorry to step on your nerd turf...

29
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,995
But les mis is a musical
about the French revolution.

30
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,332
Yes, but mine was
from the point of view of the rich.

31
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:08,962
What next? The musical rent
from the point of view of the landlord?

32
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,134
- Han, this is a lovely start, but...
- A lovely start?

33
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,594
No, I mean, it's good.

34
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,180
But not good enough?
I know what you are saying.

35
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,057
You need to practice more, han.

36
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,392
You never will be as good
as your sister, han.

37
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,188
Whole family going on vacation
without you while you practice, han.

38
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,814
Back off, tiger mom.

39
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,486
Hey, Caroline, is Max around?

40
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,405
Um, she might be. I'll go check.

41
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,369
You'll never guess who came into
the restaurant. You'll be happy.

42
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,080
Gary, the fat guy from teen mom?

43
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,625
Someone you like. Someone you
wanna kiss. Someone you're hot for.

44
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,086
Tyler, the skinny guy from teen mom?

45
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,048
What's Johnny doing?
I told him not to show his face...

46
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,510
Unless he broke up with his girlfriend.
He's here, showing his face.

47
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,512
- Which means...
- You can't know that.

48
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,806
Fine. Tell me one reason
he could be here.

49
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,809
He needs han to solve
a complex math problem?

50
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,106
It's obvious that he's here
because he broke up with "Cassandra."

51
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,482
What else could it be?

52
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,860
When I had millions, I had no idea
why guys were coming to see me.

53
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,570
Do they want me or my money?

54
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,155
But you have nothing.

55
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,616
So basically, that just leaves you.

56
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,119
Way to puff me up
before I go through that door.

57
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,455
- This is so exciting.
- Will you stop? Don't be such a girl.

58
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,084
Hair? Teeth? Anything?

59
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,419
You're good.

60
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,628
Wait.

61
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,758
More.

62
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,388
- Really?
- Trust me.

63
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,439
Oh, uh, hey, Johnny.
When did you get here?

64
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:54,234
Uh, just now. I came here
because I wanna tell you something.

65
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,695
Yes?

66
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:01,074
Max, I think you and I
have something special...

67
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,951
And I don't wanna lose that.

68
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,787
So I came down here to ask...

69
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:09,040
Even though it didn't work out,
can we still be friends?

70
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,545
What? You have gotta be kidding.

71
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:14,755
Oh. Ahem.

72
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,381
What's going on over there?

73
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,634
My friend Johnny and I
have no idea what you're upset about.

74
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,596
I was just reacting to the news
that we're out of pie.

75
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,181
I really cannot believe it.

76
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,516
I totally thought
it would go a different way.

77
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:33,565
Why don't you go over there to the pie
carousel and mourn the loss of our pie?

78
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,611
So we're cool?

79
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,906
Yeah, we're cool. Why wouldn't we be?
We never dated or anything.

80
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,783
Of course we're friends.

81
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,201
I am so relieved.

82
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:48,038
So, uh, you could go back
to busting my balls like always?

83
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,539
Yes. Heh, heh.

84
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:54,628
We're such good friends,
I might just bust them with my feet.

85
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,217
Caroline: Morning.

86
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,261
I'm trying to send an e-mail blast
for the cupcake business...

87
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,971
But your Wi-Fi is so slow.

88
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,849
Don't tell me. Tell "cathyhome17."

89
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,559
Whoever and wherever she is.

90
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,563
I'm just gonna run down to the coffee
place and send it. Do you approve?

91
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,106
Nice job. The font's pretty.

92
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,693
You just gave me a compliment?
I knew it. You're depressed.

93
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,904
You're so depressed about Johnny...

94
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,156
You don't even have the energy
to be you.

95
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,699
What? The font is pretty.

96
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,077
Oh, honey, do you want a hug?

97
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,370
I'm fine.

98
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,038
How could you be fine?

99
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:33,291
The man painted a billboard
of the two of you kissing...

100
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,293
And now he
just wants to be friends?

101
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,588
Please call in sick to your babysitting job
and take to the bed.

102
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,632
I used to take to the bed.

103
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,218
One time I took to the bed for a week.

104
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:47,389
Listen, unlike you, Jane Austen,
I will never "take to the bed."

105
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,516
Giving into feelings is for rich people.

106
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,435
Regular people just have to get up,
get drunk...

107
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,896
And go fulfill
their babysitting duties.

108
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,315
Max, take to the bed.

109
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,776
Look, this is my pattern. Okay?

110
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,278
I fall for the wrong guy...

111
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,489
I find out they're with a girl,
a bottle, needle, I move on.

112
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,950
And sometimes I use a bottle
to help me do it.

113
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,661
Or a needle. Or a girl.

114
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,998
But when I'm done, I'm done.

115
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,917
That's it, you're just over it?

116
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,170
Wow. I'm sad because
Kyle enright didn't invite me...

117
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,424
On his private jet to mikonos
for his 12th birthday.

118
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,926
Well, not me.

119
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,262
I flip a switch
and those feelings are gone.

120
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,097
I have two switches in my life.

121
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,560
One turns off my emotions,
the other makes a car bounce.

122
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,937
Okay, I'd better go.

123
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,107
If you get there after 10:30,
you can't hear yourself think...

124
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,903
Over the sounds of people
skyping to the Philippines.

125
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,864
Are you sure you're all right?

126
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,494
Are you about to come over here
and soft-touch me?

127
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,872
- I want to so bad.
- Leave.

128
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,875
Go to the coffee place.
Soft-touch the barista.

129
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,384
Excuse me, miss?

130
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,221
You keep your door open like that,
this rat's probably gonna get inside.

131
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,475
Don't worry.
You should see the size of my cat.

132
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,809
What are you doing here?

133
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,812
I knew you'd be home for another hour,
so I brought coffee.

134
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:22,442
And I wanted to say thanks
for understanding the situation.

135
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:27,697
You don't need to get all "hallmark
presents Johnny soft eyes" on me.

136
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,324
And you're not my type anyway.

137
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,702
You're a bartender close to liquor
all night, and not an alcoholic.

138
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,830
So clearly you don't know
how to seize an opportunity.

139
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,751
Yes, I do.

140
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:51,012
This is where you join in birthday song
with your sweet-ass saxophone.

141
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,723
Han, I like you, brother...

142
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:57,811
But I played with everyone
from Marvin gaye to the gay marvins...

143
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,357
They never made it.
A little bit ahead of their time.

144
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,151
But if you don't mind
a professional opinion...

145
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,862
Man, you've got to put
some heart into this thing.

146
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,407
But my mother always say
to run away from heart.

147
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,492
Only the head can make music.

148
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:16,830
- Han, your mother sounds like one cold...
- Don't you talk about my mama.

149
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,167
Hey, Earl. What's up?

150
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,963
I just got threatened by a man
who gets carded at pixar movies.

151
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,674
Max, great news.

152
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,176
That e-mail blast
I sent out this morning worked.

153
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,222
I just got us a big cupcake job at some
event place called the gold space loft.

154
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,849
I was at the gold space loft.

155
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,853
I went to a poetry slam,
and I wound up slamming a poet.

156
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,605
They need a hundred cupcakes
tomorrow.

157
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,191
And because I'm a genius
and it's short notice...

158
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,862
But mostly because I'm a genius,
I got them up to $500.

159
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,074
It's a cool group art show.
Very williamsburg. Very pot brownie.

160
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,744
Johnny has a piece in it.

161
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,538
Since you flipped your switch,
I figured it'd be fine.

162
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,791
No way. I can't make
a hundred cupcakes in a day.

163
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,420
I know it's a lot of work,
but I'll do whatever I can to help.

164
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,714
This is a really big opportunity for us.

165
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:09,549
I kissed Johnny.

166
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:10,925
What? When?

167
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,303
He came by the apartment
right after you left.

168
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:18,516
I was only gone 20 minutes. What'd you
do, shine a bat-symbol on your vagina?

169
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,396
Stop acting like I wanted it to happen.
I didn't want it to happen.

170
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,773
I'm lucky we just kissed.

171
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:29,069
My pants kept saying, "take me off."
And I was like, "no, pants."

172
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,822
I'm telling you,
I almost couldn't help myself.

173
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,242
I don't understand.
You said you were done with him.

174
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,829
- What happened to your pattern?
- Telling people is part of the pattern.

175
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:41,581
Then I just do whatever I want.

176
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,585
I knew it, thought it, should've said it.
Girls cannot be friends with guys.

177
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,588
You also knew
he broke up with his girlfriend...

178
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,924
So you can suck it.

179
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,592
Did he say he was
gonna break up?

180
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,804
We didn't get into it.
Weren't using our mouths for talking.

181
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,099
- What do you think's gonna happen?
- I don't know.

182
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,309
All I know is it's not gonna happen...

183
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,104
In front of him
and his beautiful girlfriend.

184
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,688
You don't have to see them.

185
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,524
We'll drop off the cupcakes...

186
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,818
And be gone
before the artists show up.

187
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,363
Great. I'm going home tonight
after my 10-hour waitress shift...

188
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,367
To stay up and bake cupcakes
for a guy I kissed who has a girlfriend.

189
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:21,621
Beep. Oh, what's that?
My self-esteem just flat-lined.

190
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:29,462
Yeah, it's this way.
I smell patchouli and pretention.

191
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,131
Why are you walking so slow?

192
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,966
I'm carrying our cupcake future...

193
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,969
And I don't want our future's frosting
to be on the box.

194
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,138
Relax, we still have time.

195
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,849
Oh. Hello, welcome to
space blast art attack.

196
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,059
The gallery won't be open for an hour.

197
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,521
Actually, we're here delivering cupcakes.
We're looking for traivor.

198
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:50,984
I'm looking for traivor's mom to ask her
why she named a person "traivor."

199
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,652
Traive.

200
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,864
You can set up inside.
He's the one with the super tall hat.

201
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,242
I love galleries.

202
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,327
My father and I had an art foundation.

203
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,496
We taught blind kids
how to do ceramics.

204
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,332
Why didn't you just buy them eyes?

205
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,501
Let's put them here.

206
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,170
This art show is ridiculous.

207
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,673
Someone named traivor, a dream catcher
with buzz words stuck in it.

208
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,676
And you.

209
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,555
Why would he hang that
if he has a girlfriend?

210
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,099
Maybe he went home
and broke up with her.

211
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,767
The writing is on the wall.

212
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:28,354
Oh, no. I'm not falling for you again.
Let's just get our money and go.

213
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,356
Oh, uh...

214
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,692
Grown lady dressed like a doll...

215
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,613
We can't find tall hat, and we need
to get paid for the cupcakes and leave.

216
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,114
What are you talking about?

217
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,533
- You're serving the cupcakes.
- Pardon?

218
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,037
Well, why do you think we're
paying you $500 for cupcakes?

219
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,165
Because my friend's a genius?

220
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:50,752
This is new information,
we need to talk to someone.

221
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,255
- Traive?
- Traive is busy installing his ice penis.

222
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,383
I can get someone else
on the show committee to help.

223
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,052
Cashandra?

224
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,055
- Caroline: What's his girlfriend doing here?
- Oh, god.

225
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,890
What if soft eyes told her?

226
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,976
- Does she look mad?
- No, she looks amazing.

227
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,353
Max, hello.

228
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:11,356
We met on the street.
Cashandra, Johnny's girlfriend.

229
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:15,068
Oh, hey. Hi. I'm Johnny's friend.
We're just friends.

230
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,029
Hi, "Cassandra," I'm Caroline.
I was with Max on the street.

231
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,405
And all day yesterday.

232
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,741
We were together every minute.

233
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,452
It's "cashandra," actually.
But everyone calls me cash.

234
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,371
You're Max's business partner, right?

235
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,540
Yeah, but she
makes her own decisions.

236
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,043
Right, well, let's just get to it,
shall we?

237
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,878
I'm a bleeder.

238
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,048
It's brilliant it all worked out
with the cupcakes.

239
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,051
- Excuse me?
- I told traive to hire you for the show.

240
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,470
Johnny cannot stop talking
about your cupcakes.

241
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,099
"Max's cupcakes are so moist,"
"Max's cupcakes are delicious."

242
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,892
He loves your cupcakes.

243
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,436
Yeah, heh, but just like in a casual way.

244
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,398
I mean, he barely even touched them.

245
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,234
So, um, I'm a bit busy
getting ready for the show.

246
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,069
Put your cupcakes on these trays...

247
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,571
And when people start coming in,
circulate.

248
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,407
Circulate, girls. Circulate.

249
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,287
Well, that wasn't uncomfortable.

250
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,832
Let's bolt before Johnny gets here
while I have a shred of my dignity.

251
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,752
We can't bail out of our first big job.
People will think we're flakes.

252
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,423
And that'll spread faster through
williamsburg than knit hats and herpes.

253
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,925
You ladies know
where the wine goes?

254
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,344
- Oh, right here, yeah.
- Right here.

255
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,727
No, no. Not the wine. The wine's mine.

256
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,979
Just serving cupcakes.

257
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,983
I've been listening in on cashandra
and her girlfriend's conversation.

258
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,610
I don't think she knows
anything happened.

259
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:42,280
She's a dancer,
her lip gloss is from kiehl's...

260
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,615
And she's school chums with Adele.

261
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,200
Not the Adele?

262
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,329
Damn it. Could she be any cooler?

263
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,957
I want her to be my girlfriend.
I wouldn't break up with her for me.

264
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,293
Hi. I'm here.

265
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,962
Great, I was hoping tonight
would get weirder.

266
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,048
I had no idea.

267
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,551
She did it to surprise me.
And she did. I'm surprised.

268
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,136
I am so sorry.

269
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,472
You have a girlfriend.
Why are you kissing Max?

270
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,723
You told her?

271
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:13,561
Would the more subtle way be to paint
a picture and hang it for all to see?

272
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,397
Are you insane?

273
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,316
Can we have a moment, please?

274
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,569
Fine, I'll be over there,
near the ice penis.

275
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,199
Look, I am so sorry.

276
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,827
If I'd known cash was gonna ask you
to do this, I would have told you.

277
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,539
- Why would you choose to hang that?
- Because it's my favorite piece.

278
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,666
Is there any way she could know?

279
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,088
- Oh, my god, your lips.
- Split up.

280
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,215
I can smell the sex
from across the room.

281
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,135
No, whoa, whoa, I need all those.

282
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:51,182
- Ugh, so, what, is she still your girlfriend?
- Max, it's complicated.

283
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,434
What, are we on Facebook?

284
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,022
It is complicated.
Cash and I have been together two years...

285
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,566
Two years?
Jeez, I'm a homewrecker.

286
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,694
Adele will probably
write a song about me.

287
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,448
- You're not a homewrecker.
- I am.

288
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,076
Johnny, you've got some folks.

289
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,412
Circulate, Max. Circulate.

290
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,705
[Sighs]

291
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,207
That's it. This is over.

292
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,085
That, us, on the wall,
never happens again.

293
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,753
I lied, I can't be your friend.

294
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,922
I was trying to be cool,
but I'm not cool.

295
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,632
I don't know Adele.

296
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,720
What just happened?
Did he tell you he's breaking up?

297
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:33,516
No. What's wrong with you?
You haven't been right about anything.

298
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,725
[Sighs]

299
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,895
I told him we are done,
and that it's over. Okay?

300
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,065
They've been together two years,
and I know one thing about me.

301
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:44,986
I may pick the wrong guys, but when
another woman is involved, I am done.

302
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,489
This is truly the end of my pattern.

303
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,283
We have to go. I kissed Johnny.

304
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,994
What? Max, you said
you were going to the bathroom.

305
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,746
It's a unisex bathroom.

306
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,583
Emphasis on the "sex."

307
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,502
We have to go.
I am a little drunk and out of control.

308
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,256
Ugh, traive said we won't get paid
until every one of the cupcakes is gone.

309
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,634
- So we're stuck here.
- Fine, I shall go circulate.

310
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,261
No. You cannot be trusted.

311
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:13,598
Next thing I know you'll be doing him
behind the ice penis.

312
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,143
I'm telling you, I am done.

313
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,103
You told me that five minutes ago.

314
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,607
Well, you told me he was breaking up
with his girlfriend three times.

315
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,277
I guess we learned you know nothing
about him and I know nothing about me.

316
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,987
Cheers.

317
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,323
Wait for me.

318
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,451
Hello, girls. Traivor told me
you were looking to get paid...

319
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:36,496
But you can't be paid
until all the cupcakes are gone.

320
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,457
And do me a favor, love.
Put a chocolate aside for Johnny.

321
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,666
He loves chocolate.

322
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,420
He'll eat a vanilla if it's available,
but he always go back to chocolate.

323
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,386
I don't think
he's gonna break up with her.

324
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,638
Really?

325
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,683
You have the accuracy rate
of a magic 8 ball.

326
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,354
[Grunts]

327
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,563
Max: Look at her.

328
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,483
She's so pretty and bitchy.

329
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:10,029
And more pretty than bitchy.

330
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:14,200
Oh, god. She just zipped his hoodie
and fixed his hair.

331
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,409
That's a couple.

332
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,161
What they have is real.

333
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,330
They are a couple.
Johnny and cash.

334
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:23,334
Oh, crap. Johnny cash.

335
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:28,589
They're an institution.
I never had a chance.

336
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,466
Forget the money, let's just go.

337
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,886
Mm-mm. We are staying
till these cupcakes are gone.

338
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,931
I am not leaving with no dignity
and no money.

339
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,100
Fine.
I'll circulate a couple more times.

340
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,394
Wait a minute.

341
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,145
They said they had to be gone.

342
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:47,984
But they didn't say
who had to make them gone.

343
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,443
We eat them and go.

344
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,488
You're doing it.
I rescued you from the gutter.

345
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,408
Uh, that's not entirely accurate...

346
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,122
[Both chuckle]

347
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,751
[Mumbling]

348
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,886
[Both laugh]

349
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,648
Max, wake up. It's 3:00.
We forgot to set the alarm.

350
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,775
[Max grunts]

351
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,529
Oh, I never thought waking up in bed
with another woman...

352
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,949
With frosting on my boobs
would be this depressing.

353
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,953
How are you feeling about it all today?
Do you wanna talk?

354
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,000
[Both grunt]

355
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,637
Where's your purse?

356
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,181
I'm gonna take some money
and get coffee.

357
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,683
And, yes, I am walking
down the street like this.

358
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,479
After last night,
I am impenetrable to shame.

359
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,564
Wait. We don't have any money.

360
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,150
- Yes, we do.
- No, we don't. We did, but we don't.

361
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,903
I bought something with it.

362
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,322
I bought this.

363
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,492
You carried that home?
Where was I?

364
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:23,245
Three blocks ahead of me
telling strangers about your pattern.

365
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,792
I saw you and Johnny hanging there
and I knew what I had to do.

366
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,835
So, what,
am I supposed to hang that up?

367
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,962
No. You're supposed to destroy it.

368
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,964
You need to get over him.

369
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:37,009
Kick this, and then you're gonna
kick him, once and for all.

370
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,137
You wanna break your pattern?
Start by breaking the painting.

371
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,348
That is a complete waste of money.

372
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:46,519
I may have been wrong about
everything else, but I'm right about this.

373
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,105
Come on. Kick it.

374
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,900
I can't.

375
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,151
Give me your foot.

376
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,612
- What?
- Lift up your leg.

377
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,325
Yeah, you did it.

378
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,993
Good for you.

379
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,706
You broke a painting,
and maybe your pattern.

380
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,083
I really liked him.

381
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,168
I know.

382
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:16,006
Well, I slept through my dayjob,
so, what the heck.

383
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,385
I think I will take to the bed,
or whatever.

384
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,721
Just for like 20 minutes.

385
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,558
I'll set my alarm, and then
I'll get up and get ready for work.

386
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,519
Max, please, I feel like we need a hug.

387
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,021
We just slept together.
You women are so needy.

388
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,637
[Cash register dings]

389
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,372
[English - us - sdh]