1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,087
Earl, can you break some twenties?

2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,466
The spenders at table two want
to split their $11 check three ways.

3
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,718
Even though one person
did all the eating.

4
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:15,140
I was in a three-way once.
Same thing happened.

5
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,189
Max, table ten would like the check.

6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,858
And don't forget
to pick up customer comment card.

7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,779
Customers very important.
It's all about the fans.

8
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,532
Yeah, I'm not a fan of hearing
what people have to say.

9
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,743
For instance, what's happening
right now. Not a fan.

10
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:38,539
Max, feedback from customers
is very important business tool.

11
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:42,334
Perhaps will pump the brakes
on sour waitress attitude.

12
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,503
There's one tool that can
change my 'tude.

13
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,798
But I'm gonna need two double a
batteries and a 20-minute break.

14
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:00,727
Welcome everyone.

15
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,022
Thanks for coming to very important
first official diner meeting.

16
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,526
This ain't right, man.
Two A.M. starts Earl time.

17
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:11,363
- Earl, here's your Brandy.
- Okay, we're good now.

18
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:15,033
If I knew we were gonna
have staff meetings...

19
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,370
I would have taken job
at t.G.I. Friday instead.

20
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:21,748
Over there, they roll fast and loose.

21
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,544
- Well, this is how I roll.
- Yeah. Short and slow.

22
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:29,715
No, I roll fast and furious:
Tokyo drift style.

23
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,886
Han, I'm starting to drift.
Can we get to the point?

24
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,723
Max and I still have to get home
and bake cupcakes.

25
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,101
We received so many excellent
comments from customers tonight.

26
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,894
Okay, first comment.

27
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,440
- "Dark-haired waitress...
- Hey.

28
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,941
Was very rude."

29
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,110
Hey.

30
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,238
Max, customers
are giving their honest opinions.

31
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,574
We need to take it seriously.

32
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,744
"I'd like to ride the blonde waitress
like a tilt-a-whirl."

33
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,164
Shout out.

34
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,582
[All chuckle]

35
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:04,791
Next comment.

36
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,253
"Why does cashier wear earphones?
I thought he was a deejay."

37
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,589
- Go, Earl. Go, Earl.
- Go, Earl. Go, Earl.

38
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,924
- Holler.
- Moving on.

39
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,260
"This meatloaf tastes stale and dry."

40
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,722
- Yeah, Oleg. Yeah, Oleg.
- Yeah, Oleg. Yeah, Oleg.

41
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:23,435
It also says that cook could wear
deodorant and shirt that covers armpit.

42
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,854
This is on card?

43
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,399
- Yes.
- You are lying.

44
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,946
Remind me never to be a spy
with han.

45
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,783
So this is how you tell me
what you think of me?

46
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,952
You hide behind outdated method
of feedback?

47
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,665
What? I should have posted a
twitpic of my face like this?

48
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:50,170
Maybe I will send you a twitpic
of my meatloaf.

49
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,841
Can you twits pick another time
to do this? I've got to go home.

50
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,970
I have to go home too. And cut the
remaining sleeves off of all my shirts.

51
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,474
And then go buy more shirts
and cut the sleeves off those shirts.

52
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:05,143
- You must wear sleeves.
- Do not tell me what to do.

53
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,646
I was working here
when you were still a dumpling...

54
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,023
On your father's chopstick.
Caroline: Oh!

55
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:14,486
Now this is starting to sound
like "Earl time."

56
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,288
- Did it light?
- No.

57
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,916
Okay, another one. The gas is on.

58
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,376
[Caroline grunts]

59
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,794
[Both sigh]

60
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:34,965
Why are we throwing fire at an oven?
Is this a poor people game?

61
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:38,510
It's called, "light the broken pilot light
without blowing our faces off."

62
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,971
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
My heart is pounding.

63
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,640
I didn't know baking cupcakes
was an extreme sport.

64
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,519
[Laughs]

65
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,729
[Gasps]

66
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,315
See? A slight hint of gas in the air
makes everything funnier.

67
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,484
Now there's too much gas.

68
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,487
If we threw a match in there,
I'd be out a pair of eyebrows.

69
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,824
- And I'm not living through that again.
- Again?

70
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,326
When I was little,
I was trying to make dinner.

71
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,163
I lit the pilot light too soon,
and whoosh, no eyebrows.

72
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,915
I had to draw them on
in magic marker.

73
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,668
Only Mexican girls would talk to me.

74
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,839
We have a cupcake business.

75
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,341
We have to tell the landlord
we need a new oven.

76
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,678
We can't ask the landlord
for a new oven. He'll ask us stuff like:

77
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:26,016
"Who are you? Why is your name not
on the lease? And where is the rent?"

78
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,684
Well, I'll buy us one.

79
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,187
Really?
You're gonna buy us a whole oven?

80
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:35,484
We're so poor I have a sock
that I refer to as my "good sock."

81
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,195
I've been saving something
for an emergency.

82
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,865
Like a burst appendix,
or a first date bikini wax.

83
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,952
I knew it. You have a secret stash
of your father's billions.

84
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,872
We're rich.
Wait, it's other people's money.

85
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,124
Yeah, but I didn't steal it. We're rich.

86
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,543
They're my expensive rings.

87
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,713
If these are expensive rings,
what's all that stuff you wear?

88
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,883
Cheaper copies. You never wear
the good stuff out in public.

89
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:04,179
Got it. Kind of like hiding the
banana republic and wearing the gap.

90
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,556
See how special?
They're all one-of—a-kind...

91
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,352
From Thomas Aristotle Thomas.
T-a-t. Tat.

92
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,479
- What?
- Tat rings.

93
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:18,485
- You've never heard of tat rings?
- Oh, tat rings. No.

94
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,404
It's the kind of thing people
in the know know, you know?

95
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,576
Make all the jokes you want. I have
to sell one and I can get us a new oven.

96
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,411
Any ideas what kind we should get?

97
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,624
Uh, yeah. You're not the only
one with a secret stash.

98
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,168
Heh, it's the bluestar.

99
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,714
It's the tat rings of ovens. In purple.

100
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,217
That's right, I said purple.

101
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,845
It's the muscle car of ovens.
It's badass.

102
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:49,015
It's so badass, when I do karaoke, I
change the lyrics from "purple rain"...

103
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,643
To "purple range."

104
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,104
Great, we'll get this one.

105
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,523
Uh, we can't buy that, it's too expensive.

106
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,943
This is just something
you fantasize about. It's kitchen porn.

107
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,280
Fine. Tomorrow, we'll go to the
cash-for-gold store...

108
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:07,033
Get a regular oven, and get cooking.

109
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,703
I think the funny gas is gone.

110
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,247
- Must be time. I'm going in.
- Let me do it.

111
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,708
My eyebrows need
to be waxed anyway.

112
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,461
Hurry up. The gas is on.
Throw the match in.

113
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:24,634
- Did it light?
- No, but my foot is on fire.

114
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,474
[Caroline grunts]

115
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,810
[Fire roars]

116
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,145
[Both gasp]

117
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,649
[In unison] You're good.

118
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,740
I'm sorry, but how much longer
do we have to wait to get cash?

119
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:51,161
I told you before, I'm on the phone.
Sit down. Shut up. Don't be rude.

120
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:55,832
Ugh, I thought she'd be nicer
from her picture on the bus stop bench.

121
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,835
Yeah. And where are the dollar signs
in her eyes?

122
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,339
Let me see, which ring should I sell?
So much history in my lap.

123
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:06,176
Heh, I don't even wanna tell you
about the history in my lap.

124
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,803
My father got me this one in London.

125
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,014
I got this one in Paris
to reward myself...

126
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,851
For not crying during the turbulence
on the flight to Paris.

127
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,355
My mom got me a fresca
when she hit me with her car once.

128
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,607
I got this one when I was 18.

129
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,609
- It was my very first tat.
- Okay, stop.

130
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,819
This is a bad idea.
Let's get out of here.

131
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:29,658
I told you before, I'm on the phone.
Sit down. Shut up. Don't be rude.

132
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,161
I'm only sitting down because, look...

133
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,664
She has her hand
on a gun under the counter.

134
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,791
She's dying to plug us.

135
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,669
Max, what are you talking about?
Why is this a bad idea?

136
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:44,339
I don't want you sacrificing
your precious rings, Frodo.

137
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,634
If the business doesn't work,
it'll be my fault you have nothing.

138
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,179
And call me selfish,
the only life I wanna ruin is my own.

139
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,432
Max, the business will go up and down.
That's natural.

140
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,686
But this ring is about more than
the day to day of the business.

141
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,939
It's about us and our future together.

142
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,275
Yo, did you just ask me to marry you?

143
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,861
You could do worse.

144
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,864
Now, ladies. Gold. Now.

145
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,992
Come on. It's only one ring.

146
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,078
And when it comes to us,
I'm in this for the long haul.

147
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,663
Or until this lady shoots us.

148
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,003
- Hi. I'm here to...
- Elena: Come on, let's go.

149
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,169
Don't push me. I'm out of nicorette.

150
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:27,716
Well, you're all business, aren't you?
I can respect that.

151
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:31,177
- I'd like to exchange a tat ring.
- I've never heard of a tat ring.

152
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:36,307
Thomas Aristotle Thomas,
world-famous designer?

153
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,728
Yeah, talk down to me.
That'll make the price better.

154
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,022
All right, |'|| weigh it.

155
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,231
[Max sniffs]

156
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,734
What's that smell?
Is someone making soup in the back?

157
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,319
None of your business.

158
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:52,157
I will give you $275.

159
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:56,828
- It's worth 2,500.
- Where, in 2005?

160
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,874
You're taking advantage of people
because the world economy is crashing.

161
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:05,170
It's called "cash for gold,"
not "sympathy for flat chicks."

162
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,799
You know what?
This is inappropriate.

163
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,801
I'd like to see your business license.

164
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,054
I'll make a call
to the chamber of commerce.

165
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,766
- Oh, you will, huh?
- Duck. Here comes the gun.

166
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:23,480
Maybe I'll make a call to my boys
in the back. Sal? Richard?

167
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,110
Oh, hello. Let's get out of here.

168
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:32,655
Are you sure? Because
I'm kind of feeling Richard.

169
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,121
I was just in the ladies' room
and I had a thought.

170
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:43,666
Why am I doing my lipstick in a
mirror that says, "die, Carlos"?

171
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,002
I know how to get the full value
of the ring.

172
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,047
We take it to the store where they sell it,
and return it.

173
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,174
Uh, and why didn't that occur
to you before?

174
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,927
I don't have the receipt.
I bought it three years ago.

175
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,097
From another store.
In another country.

176
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,017
[Dings]

177
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:04,062
The customer asked for crust
off of Turkey club.

178
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:08,108
Did they say that, or is this something
you say that they said?

179
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:12,028
They said it. But I say, I see
"screw the boss" sleeveless tee.

180
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:17,200
I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's.
There is a small mouse speaking.

181
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,829
And I bet for sure it comes
with stinky armpits.

182
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,290
Why don't you see for yourself,
ratatouille?

183
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,293
I've gotta go. Fight's starting.

184
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,464
You are stinky.

185
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,218
So stinky, my mother in Korea called
me and said, "what is that smell?"

186
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,304
I am surprised you are upset
by man smell.

187
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,807
Most women like you enjoy it.

188
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:46,271
Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on han.
He's scrappy.

189
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,857
Your English is terrible.

190
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,359
My English is less terrible
than your English.

191
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:54,028
What? I couldn't understand
a word you said.

192
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,948
What? So sorry, I couldn't
understand a word you said.

193
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:01,536
Excuse me, regular-sized people,
I am on break until he apologizes.

194
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,789
[Dings]

195
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:08,168
I think the round's over. I couldn't
understand a word they said.

196
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,253
He needs to apologize. I'm the boss.

197
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,047
Don't let him get to you, han.

198
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,718
Every woman
knows size doesn't matter.

199
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:26,186
I like your shirt. Reminds me of the side
of the Van I lost my virginity in.

200
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,980
That little man disrespects me.

201
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:33,735
He... he insult my food,
my English, my "hyjane."

202
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,488
Is there anything I can do
to cheer you up?

203
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,908
A hug would help.

204
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,744
If I hug you, will you go back to work?

205
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,916
Two-second hug. I'm going in.

206
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,047
[Max sighs]

207
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,465
Caroline: Uh...

208
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,718
How did you do that?
Your hands never left my back.

209
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,763
I am like David Blaine of zippers.

210
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:05,475
- I was trying to cheer you up.
- You did.

211
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:13,691
Wow. It's so surreal being back here.
I grew up here. It was like camp for me.

212
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,944
I learned who all the best
designers were...

213
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,614
How to color-coordinate,
how to ride a bike.

214
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:24,327
- They let you ride a bike here?
- Bitch, I owned this piece.

215
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,166
If there's not an iguana in here,
this place is stupid.

216
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:35,546
Oh, my god,
they are such gorgeous tat rings.

217
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,132
- Thanks.
- Hate you. So jealous.

218
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,384
- Thanks.
- Bye.

219
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:46,599
Seeing you in your natural habitat
is truly disturbing.

220
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,518
Hi. Can I help you?

221
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,063
Hi, I'd like to return a ring
I got as a present here.

222
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,275
Tat rings are amazing.
I can't believe you want to return it.

223
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:59,529
Well, this one's from a guy I'm no longer
with, so it's painful to even look at.

224
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,657
I understand. But I couldn't take
it back without a receipt.

225
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,450
The thing is, he used to hit her.

226
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:08,663
- Max, he did not.
- Caroline, it's not your fault.

227
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,709
That's awful. I understand why you
wouldn't want this ring.

228
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:18,381
I'm sure there's something I can do.
It's not our fault. I mean, your fault.

229
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,554
Caroline Channing?

230
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,223
Jeffrey.

231
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,100
Surprised to see me working here?

232
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,311
Well, I got fired from that other store...

233
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,690
Whose name I will never mention again
after last year's cigarette-butt incident.

234
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:39,402
I'm so sorry. I had no idea those
menthol slim 1003 were yours.

235
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,405
I just thought so many butts
outside the store was gross...

236
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:43,948
So I said something.

237
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,617
That one comment from
the great Caroline Channing...

238
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,537
About those butts fired my little butt,
heh, heh.

239
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:53,583
You'll be happy to know that I quit
smoking after you got me fired.

240
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,543
Couldn't afford it.

241
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,670
I also couldn't afford
my gym membership.

242
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,797
Which is why my fired butt
got massive...

243
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:03,051
Why no one wanted to date me
and why I spent gay pride alone.

244
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,763
Fortunately, I wound up working here.

245
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,932
Yeah, it all worked out.
Your butt looks tight.

246
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,560
It's halfway there.

247
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,729
So I got the price on the ring.

248
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:18,107
You're buying a ring? A tat ring?

249
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,901
Actually, I'm returning.

250
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,194
Oh!

251
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,196
Can I see the receipt?

252
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:27,575
As manager
of the jewelry department...

253
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,037
I couldn't possibly return a ring that
you bought...

254
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,707
At least three years ago
without a receipt.

255
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:40,213
You wouldn't want me to lose my job
again, would you? I got this, Donna.

256
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,716
Sorry to hear about your father
being a criminal...

257
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,302
And you being penniless
and all that ugliness.

258
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,678
But it is kind of Karma.

259
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,807
You are where you are now,
and I'm back on top.

260
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:55,228
Look, Jeffrey, I know we just met,
but there's no way you're a top.

261
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,778
Now what are we gonna do?

262
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,782
We should hunt down that super-fake
jealous lady who hates you.

263
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,535
- Maybe she'll buy one.
- Max, that's brilliant.

264
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:14,038
If anybody's gonna buy a tat ring,
they're already in this store.

265
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,291
- We can have a pop-up sale.
- A pop-up sale?

266
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,753
- You don't know what a pop-up sale is?
- You didn't know what a pilot light was.

267
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,130
[Elevator dings]

268
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:25,633
It's the new trend. Mini-stores pop up
and sell stuff. Then they're gone.

269
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,846
That's not a new trend. Drug dealers
have been doing that for years.

270
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:35,685
- One, two, three, four, five.
- What are you doing, beautiful mind?

271
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,771
I'm mentally scanning the layout
of the store for cameras.

272
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,150
I knew coming here and not going
to parks as a child would pay off.

273
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,361
Okay, there's only one place
where there are no cameras.

274
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,737
Where?

275
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,448
Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.

276
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,828
That's right, ma'am. I said,
pop-up sale in the ladies room.

277
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,289
I don't do improv.

278
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,790
[Elevator dings]

279
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,294
So did we sell the ring yet?

280
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,421
Those women weren't
our target customers.

281
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:08,384
We're looking for a very specific type.
Too much style and money to burn.

282
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:10,595
Hold the elevator, habibi.

283
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,096
[Speaking in arabic]

284
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,518
[In unison]
Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.

285
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,103
All: Ooh!

286
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,735
I'll take you in two at a time.
Let me check with my associate...

287
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,613
And I'll be right back
for adin and lublubah.

288
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,242
- Such a good memory.
- Hard to forget such beautiful names.

289
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,372
- Ready?
- We have a pooper in stall two.

290
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:42,210
Who shops and plops? I mean, really.

291
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,212
Trust me, I smell the match.

292
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,380
- Classic shop and plop cover-up.
- Ugh.

293
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,549
Where are the kit kats
from the machine?

294
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,218
I told you I was hungry.

295
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,012
Arabic women expect a gift
when they buy something.

296
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:56,724
Well, stall number two will
probably supply a little present.

297
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,728
- Hi, are you here for the pop-up sale?
- No, I just have to pee.

298
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,522
Oh, jeez. Come on, don't waste my time.

299
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,982
One stall's open. In and out.
Running a business.

300
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,237
That woman pushed ahead of us.
Do not sell her my tat ring.

301
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,740
It's fine. You're here to pick up,
she's here to drop off.

302
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:19,330
Open the shop. We're a good team.
You set them up, I knock them down.

303
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,375
- Why is Dana loud?
- I don't know. Just is.

304
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,837
- Uh, are you here for the pop-up sale?
- A pop-up sale in the bathroom?

305
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,923
- So lame.
- So lame.

306
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,509
- Caroline?
- Jen. Robin.

307
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:32,927
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

308
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,721
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

309
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,891
Excuse me.
When will pop-up sale start?

310
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,728
We have lunch reservations for five
at four seasons at 3.

311
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,274
- Uh, why are you asking me?
- You two are doing pop-up sale, no?

312
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:52,280
No. I have nothing to do with this.
A pop-up sale in the bathroom?

313
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,573
- So lame.
- So lame.

314
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,616
- So lame.
- So lame.

315
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,452
- Jen: Come to lunch with us.
- Oh, I've already eaten.

316
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,955
- Our treat.
- We are not taking "no" for an answer.

317
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,041
They're not taking no for an answer.
Sell the ring.

318
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,378
Where is she going?
I thought you two were a team.

319
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,297
Apparently not.

320
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:16,470
So sorry. I got caught up
in a hostage nicoise situation.

321
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,723
How'd it go?
Did you get full price for the ring?

322
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:23,311
Oh! Do you know me? Because
I could've sworn you didn't know me.

323
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,063
My new friends adin
and lablueballs...

324
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,107
Thought it was weird
that you bailed.

325
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,402
Max, I panicked. I didn't want
those girls telling everyone...

326
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,655
That Caroline Channing
was in a bathroom selling herjewelry.

327
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,826
I'm barely back on my feet after
the whole scandal. I just couldn't bear it.

328
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,622
Here.

329
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,834
I didn't sell them. I didn't buy the
whole "in it for the long haul" thing.

330
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,755
And I was right because I am always
right about people and the long haul.

331
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,342
- Max. I'm talking to you.
- We don't need to talk.

332
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,600
Max, about the rings. I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to say.

333
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,686
You don't need to.
You said a lot about the future and us...

334
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,481
And the next thing I know,
you were, "aah, oh, my god"...

335
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,109
- Off to lunch with your friends.
- I am in this for the long haul.

336
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,528
Isn't there anything I can say
to convince you?

337
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,490
Nope. And it's fine.
It's not you, it's me.

338
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,368
I'm the idiot who actually believed
that we had a future.

339
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:25,164
But it's okay, we'll just keep getting
by like we are. For the short haul. Cool?

340
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,593
- Hey.
- Hey.

341
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,138
- What's that smell?
- I'm making cupcakes.

342
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:45,393
- You lit the pilot light?
- Didn't have to. Look.

343
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,356
No way. The bluestar in purple.

344
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,819
What the...? How the...? How could you
afford that? You sold your tat?

345
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,989
Sold them all. Spent it on the oven,
next-day delivery fee and installation.

346
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,576
- That woman gave you a better price?
- No, she pulled a gun on me.

347
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:05,996
I went to every store, leveraged
their offers against each other...

348
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,249
Until I got enough
to buy the bluestar.

349
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,167
You didn't have to do that.

350
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,921
After what I did,
there were no more words. Only ovens.

351
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,841
And our future means more to me
than rings from my past.

352
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:20,261
I told you, I'm in this for the long haul.

353
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:24,098
And for the record,
I hated lunch with those girls.

354
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:28,227
I'd rather split a kit Kat in a bathroom
with you any day.

355
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:32,440
I'm sorry, iwasn't listening. I was
staring at my new boyfriend over there.

356
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,734
I want to make out with it.

357
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,319
Ha, ha. Mm.

358
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,529
Ow, hot.

359
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:39,739
[Oven dings]

360
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:44,702
- There is not a ding.
- There's a ding. My rings bought a ding.

361
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,121
You want to hug me, don't you?

362
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,543
- But you're not gonna.
- Yes, I am.

363
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,713
If you unzip my shirt,
I'm gonna be pissed.

364
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,467
Impressed, but pissed.

365
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,433
[Cash register dings]

366
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,794
[English - us - sdh]