1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,505 Pick up chicken breasts. 2 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:07,508 The way I know you want it: With the bone in. 3 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,638 We should hold a seminar about sexual harassment in the workplace. 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,765 Why? He's already so good at it. 5 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,809 How'd he like it if we did that to him every time we ordered? 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,230 Well, let's find out. Ordering. 7 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,649 One pastrami. Can you do me a favor, doll face? 8 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,735 Make it so big and thick, you can't get your mouth around it. 9 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,695 Can you do that sweetheart? 10 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:32,658 Yes, and two matzo ball soups. Hold the balls. 11 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,703 Wait, I'll hold the balls. You just sit there and look pretty. 12 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,998 And a cream of... 13 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,876 No, can't. Just grossed myself out. 14 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,796 When is it gonna get dirty? 15 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,438 - Max, come out. - If I came out, it would not be for you. 16 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,775 It would be for that hot dragon tattoo girl. 17 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:10,445 Welcome, board members, to the very first financial assessment meeting... 18 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,197 Of Max's homemade cupcakes. 19 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,575 I was told there would be a cheese plate. 20 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,329 After five months in business, we're showing a profit of $725. 21 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,957 - Have to say, I'm a little disappointed. - Really? 22 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,294 We have so far exceeded where I'd thought we'd be in five months. 23 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,089 We have to find a way to make money on the side to put in the business. 24 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,383 Or we could quit now while we're a success. 25 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,219 - What are you talking about? - It's only gonna get worse. 26 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,055 Or it could get better. Why would you even say that? 27 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,891 It's life, and life gets worse. That's what it does. 28 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:44,521 On life's resume under "special skills," it says, "good at making things worse." 29 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,732 You always go to the worst-case scenario. 30 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,986 Yup. On my resume, it says, "good at going to the worst-case scenario." 31 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,698 Could you try to be more optimistic and not expect the worst all the time? 32 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:55,949 [Knocking on door] 33 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,243 - Caroline: Who's that? - More optimistic, right? 34 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,496 On the other side of that door is all the money you lost. 35 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,749 And then we move back into your townhouse... 36 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,376 And I masturbate in your tub for a change. 37 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,925 It was twice and you could have knocked. 38 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,387 Who is it? 39 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,014 Man: Detective James, n.Y.P.D. 40 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,974 Wait, don't open it, don't open it. 41 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,477 Oh. Smoked it Tuesday. Open. 42 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,146 Sorry to bother you. 43 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:29,441 - Do you live in this apartment? - Our names aren't on the lease. 44 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,153 We're an illegal sublet with no place else to go. Please, mercy. 45 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,281 Sorry, officer, it's her first raid. 46 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,034 Relax, the landlord didn't send me. 47 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,079 Do you know the tenant who lives in the apartment above you? 48 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,455 His name is Lou. 49 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,667 Leo? Saul? Am I even close? 50 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,919 His name's nirham chaduri. 51 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,254 Oh, man, I wasn't even on the right continent. 52 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,343 Is that nirham chaduri? 53 00:02:56,551 --> 00:03:00,055 Been dead for two weeks. Lived alone. Nobody knew. 54 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,348 Cats eat his face? 55 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,975 Max, could you please not be so dark? 56 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,310 Kittens eat his face? 57 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,482 What? I'm just trying to put a more positive spin on things. 58 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,201 Where are you going with my good China with huckleberry hound on it? 59 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,204 Making a cupcake plate for our neighbors across the hall. 60 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,455 Oh, no, you're not. 61 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:29,292 - It's weird not to know your neighbors. - It's weird not to know your father. 62 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,962 By the time you're 4, you get over it and move on. 63 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:36,091 This is a mistake. Who knows what's lurking behind that door? 64 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:39,428 Yes, something awful like nice people who might look out for us... 65 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,179 Or say hello in the hallway. 66 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:45,100 No matter what comes out of there, I will not be helloing it up in the hallway. 67 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,107 You got lucky. Get back in here. 68 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,567 Man: Who is it, please? 69 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,486 Caroline, your next-door neighbor. 70 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,950 Hi. Is this a bad time? 71 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:05,912 - Not at all. One sec. - Caroline: Hi. 72 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,790 I just wanted to introduce myself and my roommate. There. 73 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,959 And give you these cupcakes. 74 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,919 That is so nice. 75 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,964 Well, it's the leash... least... Least I can do. 76 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,426 Well, I gotta go. 77 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,351 Well, if we ever get a dog, we know who can walk it. 78 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,855 [Disco music playing from above] 79 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,192 - Listen. - I know. It's only been a few days... 80 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,569 And somebody has already moved in upstairs. 81 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,571 And they are playing music. 82 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,950 Music is coming through the floor into my ears. 83 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:47,037 I blame you. When you knocked on that door across the hall... 84 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:51,208 You may have opened a portal to hell. There. You hear the devil music? 85 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,044 - I think it's the Bee Gees. - Exactly. 86 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,337 [Footsteps from above] 87 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:59,841 And walking. Walking and music. We have to stop this right now. 88 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,678 It's 10:00. People are allowed to walk and play music. 89 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:07,098 Your lack of apartment knowledge is really starting to piss me off. 90 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,560 We have to show him right now not to screw with us. I need paper. 91 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:11,812 What are you doing? 92 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,773 - I mean, besides overreacting. - Writing a threatening note. 93 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,399 We don't shut this down now... 94 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,694 Someone will have an academy awards party in your living room. 95 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,240 Is that what you want? Strangers passing out mini Oscar statues... 96 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,242 That say "best nachos"? 97 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,955 [Disco music playing through wall] 98 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:34,626 "I have an unregistered gun and can shoot you through the floor"? 99 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,420 You're coming in really hot. We're not giving him this. 100 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,464 It'll start a bad dynamic between us. 101 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,300 God, how I miss the quiet, dead Indian guy. 102 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,929 Okay, we're gonna hit and run. 103 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,517 Oh, you mean run literally. 104 00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,026 Shh, listen. 105 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:04,155 Reading the note, freaking out. 106 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,407 [Music stops] 107 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,451 Music off, problem solved. 108 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,372 Respect. Never doubt, never doubt. 109 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,957 [Footsteps from above] 110 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,126 Crossing the floor to the door. 111 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,377 [Door closes] 112 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,628 Closing the door. 113 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:19,880 [Footsteps approaching] 114 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,883 Coming down the stairs. 115 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,551 [Banging on door] 116 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,262 - What do we do? - Move? 117 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,139 [Banging on door] 118 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,894 [Banging on door] 119 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:37,147 - What's he look like? - He's got his finger over the peephole. 120 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,149 Heh, heh. Okay, game on. Back up. 121 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,860 This is my building. I've gotta take it back. 122 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,362 This is life, not call of duty: Modern warfare 3. 123 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,031 Max: Move. 124 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,660 What?! 125 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:55,248 [Polish accent] What is meaning of this horrible, horrible note? 126 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,459 Oh, you're not a man? 127 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:03,423 What kind of question is this? Do I look like a man? 128 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,342 You clump around up there like a man. 129 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,801 Max, please. 130 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,512 Did you write this horrible, horrible note? 131 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,808 First day in my new home... 132 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:18,480 And I am given this horrible, horrible note with threats. 133 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,649 Well, they're not actually threats. 134 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,194 "I will gut you like a hog." 135 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,657 To be clear, I only skimmed the note. Everything was happening so fast. 136 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,326 Listen, we've obviously gotten off to a bad start. 137 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,577 Please, come in. 138 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,622 Why would I want to come in with you horrible, horrible...? 139 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,417 Ooh, cupcake land. Ooh. 140 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,921 Yes, we have a cupcake business. We're just starting, but doing well. 141 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,048 Max is the baker. Say hello, Max. 142 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,675 I know people in the mob. 143 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,386 That's Max. And I'm Caroline. You are? 144 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,513 Sophie kuchenski. 145 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,933 - Is that a Polish accent I'm detecting? - Yes. 146 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,768 I visited Warsaw once. I love it. 147 00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,313 Oh, because I hate it. Rats and pimps. 148 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,274 Why have you not yet offered me cupcake? 149 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,528 Is the least thing you can do after horrible, horrible note. 150 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,489 - Oh, sure. Chocolate or vanilla? - Yes. 151 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,080 - Why such sourpuss? - Sorry about that. 152 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:21,209 We work long hours at the neighborhood diner and Max has another job as well. 153 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,795 And then she comes home and she has to make the cupcakes. 154 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,591 Mm. So good, mm-hm. 155 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,344 How could someone so angry make something so sweet? 156 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,014 - She's not always like this. - I'm usually like this. 157 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,307 Just ask the previous tenant. 158 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,184 Oh, wait. You can't. 159 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,602 [Blows] 160 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,565 You know, you two girls are like these cupcakes. 161 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,610 One is dark and heavy and one is light and fluffy. 162 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,654 I prefer the fluffy one. 163 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:54,075 Well, I think we've made our point. No music, no clumping. 164 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,870 I'll shoot you through the floor. Thanks for stopping by. 165 00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:01,124 Ha, ha. I'm so glad we can joke with each other already. 166 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,501 Sorry about the note. Can we start ov...? 167 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,880 - You have the Chanel allure lip gloss? - Yeah. 168 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:10,091 - Mm. You know the Chanel? - Caroline: Oh. 169 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,553 Know? Love. I can't afford it anymore. 170 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:17,057 Oh, take one. I got handfuls in my bag. 171 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:21,144 Ahh, really? Oh, that's so nice. 172 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,730 [Both moaning] 173 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,149 Hey. 174 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,318 Hey, hey! 175 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,361 Do I have to put you on a leash? 176 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,614 Hey, we start again. 177 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:37,202 You take a Chanel. And I take more cupcakes to go. 178 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,787 Oh, sure. 179 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,429 [Disco music playing from above] 180 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,811 I knew it. Bitch played us for cupcakes. 181 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,105 It's 3 am. Why are you dressed? 182 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,899 Never took off my clothes, because soldiers don't. 183 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,110 We have to be ready when the enemy attacks. 184 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,986 Okay, you were right, I was wrong. 185 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,366 - Why do you have the broom? - Because I ran out of finger bullets. 186 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:19,494 Wait, you're gonna fall. I can't believe we have a broom. 187 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,122 All this time, I've been sweeping with an us weekly. 188 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,959 I knew this would happen, but I didn't say anything, because you were all: 189 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,295 "Max is the worst-case scenario." We showed weakness. Now look. 190 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,214 By "we," I mean you. 191 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,717 Deal with this, cupcake thief! 192 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,554 Yeah, one more time, and hard. 193 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,055 [Max grunts] 194 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:43,852 Okay, now she broke our house. We're in a war. 195 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,480 She wants a piece of me, she's gonna get it. Where are my heels? 196 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,402 I mean, who does she think I am? 197 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,280 Someone she can just buy off with a tube of Chanel? 198 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,408 Your legs did snap back over your head pretty quick when she offered it. 199 00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,701 [Caroline sighs] 200 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,915 [Bee Gees' "more than a woman" playing] 201 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,543 More than a woman 202 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,923 I thought you were man with pizza. 203 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,552 More than a woman 204 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,599 you have a porch swing in there. 205 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,104 You have an electric cigarette. 206 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,648 What is it you two girls want? 207 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:37,989 Uh, I forgot. Just so thrown by the swing and the everything. 208 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,577 Oh. You're taking advantage of us by still playing that music after we talked. 209 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,581 You two are harshing my marshmallow. 210 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,168 I'm gonna have to call my friend the landlord tomorrow... 211 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,005 And tell him about the horrible, horrible note. Mm-hm. 212 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,886 Oh, my god. She's a hooker. 213 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,723 I've been using a hooker's lip gloss. 214 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,059 - She's not a hooker. - Oh, good. 215 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,228 She's too old. She's a madam. 216 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,481 You've been using an old hooker's lip gloss. 217 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,154 Max, look, my lip. 218 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,531 Is this something? I feel like I'm getting one. 219 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,327 For the last time, you cannot get a herpes breakout in under 10 hours. 220 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,497 You're right. Now I'm jumping to the worst-case scenario. 221 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,832 Maybe her lip gloss wasn't a herpes breeding ground. 222 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,417 Maybe she's not a prostitute. 223 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,837 Maybe those young girls weren't being held there against their will. 224 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:38,841 Yeah, maybe she just has sleepovers with women on swings in their nighties. 225 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,885 You know, like people do. 226 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,934 Welcome to williamsburg diner. How many in your party? 227 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,896 What kind of question is this? One. I am my own party. 228 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,649 I take booth. 229 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:59,237 Now, now, who is that over there? 230 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,697 Our new upstairs neighbor. 231 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,949 Earl, does she look like a prostitute to you? 232 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,994 Well, I don't like to judge a book by its cover... 233 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:10,790 But if she was a book, she'd be the kind that other books pay for sex. 234 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,045 Sophie just came in. Earl thinks she's a hooker. 235 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,048 And now my lip is feeling very Courtney love. 236 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:23,219 I invited her here for a free meal. We have to make this work out for us. 237 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,722 She threatened to call her "friend" the landlord. 238 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,057 That can never happen. We're illegal tenants. 239 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,685 And I'd rather have a noisy roof over my head than no roof. 240 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,565 Let me talk. You're upset. You might say something insulting. 241 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,402 Like what? "Thanks for the lip gloss and the uncomfortable conversations... 242 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,071 With every lover I'll have the rest of my life"? 243 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,408 You don't need to tell them. They'll figure it out eventually. 244 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,244 Hi. Thanks for coming in. 245 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,247 I like the uniforms. 246 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:56,252 You fill out the front nicely and you with no boobs, short, short skirt. 247 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,796 Smart girls. 248 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,633 Uh, we just wanted to offer you a free dinner as our way of apologizing. 249 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,262 - So are you ready to order? - What kind of question is this? 250 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,515 Did you see this horrible, horrible menu? 251 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:13,603 Oh. We can't have nice conversation here. 252 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:17,106 Tomorrow I take you to nice place, my treat. 253 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,400 Oh, you don't have to do that. 254 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,611 No, I, too, want to apologize. 255 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,030 You know, after you two left the other night... 256 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,783 Some of my girls said that I was harsh on you. 257 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,242 Your girls? 258 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,120 Yes, all those girls work for me. 259 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:34,957 Excuse me. I have to go to the ladies' room right now and look at my lips. 260 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,630 Thank you so much for inviting us. 261 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,673 Are you enjoying that beluga? 262 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,593 Mm, so much. Thank you. 263 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,971 I haven't had caviar in forever. Mm. 264 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,057 Legs over your head much? 265 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,312 So, sourpuss, you don't like caviar? 266 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,773 No, I'm more of a cheeseburger kind of girl. 267 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,776 This place is busy. The waiters must make a fortune. 268 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:06,489 Oh, yeah. 300, 350 a night. What do you girls make? 269 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,908 Sixty to 80 on a good night. 270 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:12,703 And how do you expect to accomplish cupcake business on money like this? 271 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,497 Well, we're just starting out. 272 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,583 Yes, but at this rate, it will take forever. 273 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,878 You know, I, too, have big dream. 274 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,340 I am building summer house by lake in Poland. 275 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,883 You wanna see? 276 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:31,055 - Oh, you have pictures? - No, I have house. 277 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,185 This is model from the architect. 278 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,900 And I take it everywhere I am to remember where I'm going. 279 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,361 It's cool. 280 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,905 See, girls like you should be making more money. 281 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,992 Maybe you could consider coming to work for me. 282 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,620 - [Polish accent] Sophie. - Oh. 283 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:58,166 Thank you for sending girl to my apartment yesterday. 284 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,834 Oh. Did she do the job? 285 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,379 Oh, like no one ever before. Down on all fours. 286 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,799 Under, over, under again. 287 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:12,263 Oh, ha, ha. Yes, well, my girls don't leave until you're satisfied. 288 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,515 Maybe she can come two times a week. 289 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,767 She can come whenever you want her to come. 290 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,603 [Sophie chuckles] 291 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:23,232 - Are these two of your girls? - Well, we were just discussing that. 292 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:27,236 Well, this one here looks like she can take a lot. 293 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,198 Uh, thanks? 294 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,909 My friend yanni is at the bar. 295 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,578 Since his divorce, he's in great need of your service. 296 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:36,829 [Speaks in Polish] 297 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,415 Oh, yes. Uh, excuse me. 298 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,418 And, um, don't touch my house. 299 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,341 Can't believe she'd actually consider asking us to be prostitutes. 300 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,010 I know. I mean, me, I get. But you, I don't see it. 301 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,803 You heard the guy. I look like I can... 302 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,639 [In Polish accent] Take a lot. 303 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,767 Max, it's not funny. 304 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:01,395 Isn't it bad enough I may have gotten herpes from her Chanel gloss? 305 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,648 [In normal voice] Of course we're not gonna do it... 306 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,566 But come on, you'd be a terrible hooker. 307 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,110 Thank you. I would be a terrible hooker. 308 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,532 I have a heart and soul and dreams and wanna fall in love and have a family. 309 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,117 Oh, just say it. You're bad in bed. 310 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,119 Let's get out of here. 311 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,580 I mean, really. Who does she think I am? 312 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,833 Someone who would just sell myself to have nice things? 313 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,545 Let me just suck down a little more of this and we're off. 314 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,632 If we walk out of here now, we can just keep walking to the homeless shelter. 315 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,261 [In muffled voice] Oh. Mm. I'd rather be homeless than a hooker. 316 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:37,014 Here she comes. Sit down and let's thank her and politely decline. 317 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,309 Okay, back to what we were discussing. 318 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:45,147 Uh, thanks. We appreciate the offer, but we are going to pass. 319 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,316 You don't want to accomplish your dream? 320 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:51,612 Well, uh, I'm not exactly sure those two things line up, but thanks. 321 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,323 I thought you were smart girls. 322 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:55,616 We are smart girls. 323 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,161 Smart girls don't have to sell their bodies to accomplish their goals. 324 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,330 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 325 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,457 It works for you, but us... 326 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:07,545 Well, she's bad in bed and I have a sourpuss. 327 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,634 What guy wants to pay for that? Ha, ha. 328 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,556 You think I am prostitute? 329 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:22,393 No, everyone has swings with girls in pajamas. 330 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,523 My business card. 331 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:35,364 "Home cleaning service"? She runs a cleaning company. 332 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,200 Sophie's choice. 333 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,370 You realize what this means? 334 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:45,541 We insulted a hard-working woman who was trying to help us attain our goal? 335 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,753 Yes, and I don't have herpes. 336 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,050 I should have listened to you. Meeting neighbors is a big mistake. 337 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,303 Meeting neighbors and calling them a prostitute, bigger mistake. 338 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,722 Plus we had to kick in 60 for the check. 339 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,932 What can we possibly say to her? 340 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,852 That we're sorry and please keep playing the Bee Gees... 341 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,563 Day or night as loud as she wants. 342 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,733 Not a good idea to be smiling right now. 343 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,944 I'm just so happy I don't have herpes. 344 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,118 - Hi, is this a bad time? - Yes. 345 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,039 Yes, I'm in the middle of having sex for money with every man in Brooklyn. 346 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,419 What do you horrible, horrible girls want? 347 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,880 Here, you left part of your dream on the table. 348 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:36,676 And we want to apologize. I'm new at this whole being-neighborly thing. 349 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:41,472 - What does the fluffy one have to say? - Thank you for being so generous... 350 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,101 And for offering to help us make more money to accomplish our dream. 351 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,770 This is supposed to make me feel better? 352 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:52,233 - You called me prostitute. - Actually, it's kind of a compliment. 353 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:56,195 We thought you were stunning enough men would pay to have sex with you. 354 00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,700 This is true. Hmm. Come on in. 355 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:07,081 [On TV] Thinkin' about those people then / know that in a thousand years 356 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,793 Saturday night fever is my favorite movie. 357 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,963 Look at him. He's so sexy. 358 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,383 He's not that cute. Kind of oily. 359 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:22,179 You're right. She would have made terrible prostitute. 360 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,267 - It's a nice TV. - Yeah, brand new. 361 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:30,396 Have all my girls over the other night for viewing sleepover party. 362 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:36,193 - Does it come with 3D glasses? - Yeah, in the drawer there. 363 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,948 - Here. - Max, it's not a 3D movie. 364 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,783 Who cares? It's 3D glasses. 365 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:46,829 Come on, you're always talking about wanting us to see things differently. 366 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,498 Ah, so cool. 367 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,209 This swing is a brilliant idea. 368 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,337 Yeah, it's for my porch at lake house. 369 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,006 But why wait? 370 00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:00,384 Dream is now. 371 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,267 More than a woman 372 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,794 [English - us - sdh]