1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,590
Move over. I wanna slide in so we
can take the picture for our website.

2
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:09,051
If you wanna get all lesbian with me,
go for it.

3
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:12,638
- Don't pretend it's for the website.
- It is.

4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:16,433
And for the record, in 2009, when
Katy Perry kissed a girl and liked it...

5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,727
I kissed one and didn't.

6
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:23,607
Ready? One, two, and:

7
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:24,816
[Caroline scoffs]

8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,068
Perfect.

9
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:29,530
This photo does not say,
"let us do your child's birthday party."

10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:33,825
It says, "we're an ac/dc tribute band
and you can pay us in cocaine."

11
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,329
Oleg, will you take a picture of us
for our website?

12
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,624
You realize you asked a man
who only takes pictures of his penis.

13
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:44,628
Yes, but it's always well lit
and perfectly in focus.

14
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,463
You won't be disappointed.

15
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,882
I take lots of website pictures.

16
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,594
Yeah, but we're not wearing
just bras and chicken masks.

17
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,930
We have time.

18
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,518
Maybe we should rethink
the coke-whore picture.

19
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,738
Well, good night, ladies.

20
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,116
Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

21
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:18,954
And I remember a time in New York
when that was more cute than accurate.

22
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,581
Max: Night, Earl.
Caroline: Night.

23
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,209
Earl, I have come across a $6 inaccuracy
in tonight's total.

24
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,627
Go over all checks again.

25
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,504
Han, I'm just on my way home.

26
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,173
But it is not yet 2 am.
I hate to play the heavy...

27
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,468
But you must sit down
and go over checks again.

28
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,346
Han, I am 75 years old.

29
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,766
I don't even have enough time left
to wipe twice.

30
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,979
- Well, well. Hello there.
- Sophie: Oh.

31
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,939
Such a gentleman.

32
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,650
And what a well-behaved boy.

33
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,113
- Oh, there are the girls.
- Caroline: Sophie, hello. You look pretty.

34
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,657
- Mm-hm, I know. Hmm.
- Caroline: Ha, ha.

35
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,951
Oh, sorry, the kitchen's closed.

36
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,163
- Sophie: What?
- Kitchen was closed...

37
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:05,667
But can now be open again
for such a beautiful woman.

38
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,211
Hello, I am the chef.

39
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:12,382
Oh, here we go.
Ukraine's gonna try to invade Poland.

40
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,302
It's double-d day.

41
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,555
Oleg, this is our neighbor Sophie.

42
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,642
I would like to have a plate
with sausage on it...

43
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,269
While I look over the menu.

44
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,814
Yowza.

45
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:33,070
You are like someone
super-sized Victoria's secret angel.

46
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:36,990
I'd like to Gisele on your biindchens.

47
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,577
[Oleg groans]

48
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:46,124
You're gonna act like a dog,
I'll treat you like a dog.

49
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,420
Well, there goes his photography career.

50
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,132
Do you still want the sausage?

51
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,052
Yes, of course.
Why should sausage suffer?

52
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,947
You know how to handle yourself.

53
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,056
-Impressive. Sophie: Mm-hm.

54
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,850
That was like a game
of rock, paper, pervert.

55
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:07,729
Thank you for coming in. Max and I
want to talk about taking you up...

56
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,357
On your offer to work
for your cleaning company.

57
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,234
She wants to do it for money...

58
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:16,571
I wanna do it because I like rummaging
through strangers' medicine cabinets.

59
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,366
Have you cleaned houses before?

60
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,785
Well, I had a house and it was very clean.

61
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,287
But whatever the task,
you won't be sorry.

62
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,039
Max and I are a great team...

63
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,292
And when we set our mind
to something, we accomplish it and...

64
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:33,338
Oh, stop.
This is not a dental school interview.

65
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:37,926
Come on, this is scrubbing toilets.
In or out?

66
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,553
We're in. All the way.

67
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,305
When someone has to tell you
they're all the way in...

68
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,474
You better hope their tongue works.

69
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,017
[Laughs]

70
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,603
So dirty. Ha, ha.

71
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,775
We can start tomorrow.
Tell us where to go, we'll be there.

72
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,026
Oh, okay.

73
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,322
Well, you walk out your door,
you take right, you go upstairs...

74
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,242
Uh, you open my door,
and you clean my apartment.

75
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,203
Is audition.

76
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,831
Can't I just take off my shirt,
like in fame?

77
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:12,753
Excuse me,
here is your nonsexual appetizer.

78
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,339
You and I will start small. You like?

79
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:20,469
Yes. Good boy. Now go.

80
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,935
Forced to clean Sophie's apartment?
This is getting dicey.

81
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,272
Next thing you know, we're in a crate
on our way to the far east.

82
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:36,151
Max, we're gonna spend this money on
our website, the future of our company.

83
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,196
The future's far in the future
and I need this money now...

84
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,073
For real stuff,
like gummy bears and eyeliner.

85
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,659
How do you think you get to the future?

86
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,162
Uh, Marty mcfly and a delorean.

87
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,081
We don't need the website yet.

88
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,459
We got the birthday cupcake job
without it.

89
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,628
And where do you think we got that job?

90
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,296
I don't know, the job fairy?

91
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,049
I don't pay attention to business.

92
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:03,220
At the web design company, I overheard
someone say it was his son's birthday.

93
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,764
Gross. Using children
for your own profit.

94
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,182
Way to go, China.

95
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:17,400
- Well, here we are.
- Why is this big news?

96
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,819
Come in.

97
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:24,157
So if this all works out today,
I have two possible jobs for you...

98
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,742
Both in the same building.

99
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,244
Two? That's amazing.

100
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,287
This is the only way I can make sure...

101
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,915
That you don't ruin
my company's good name.

102
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,460
Because I work hard
to build Sophie's choice.

103
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,631
Hmm. Now, uh, one of you take bathroom
and one of you take out here.

104
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,341
- Who does which?
- Bathroom.

105
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,760
I'm gonna go with bathroom.
I love a challenge.

106
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:47,556
If not perfect clean, no job. Begin.

107
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:54,312
Watch out, ladies,
I'm about to go h.A.M. On this b-room.

108
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,940
What is this "h.A.M."?

109
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,900
Hard as a mother.

110
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,320
What? Ha, ha.
Max, I love when you're dirty.

111
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,489
[Sophie laughing]

112
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,417
Oh, very impressive.

113
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:20,297
You clean like bull.
Roar of cleaning, ha, ha.

114
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,675
Oh, no big deal.
I was lifting up couches when I was 6.

115
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,595
Help my mom look for change
and her boyfriend's tooth.

116
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,307
Caroline:
I'm almost finished in here.

117
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,685
This one like to make
big announcements about nothing, yes?

118
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,687
Max:

119
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,856
Hey, does that electric cigarette work?

120
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:43,236
Yes. Yeah, I smoked for seven years,
and then I quit when I was 12.

121
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:49,284
Uh, yeah. I didn't want to die of
lung cancer before I was teenager.

122
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:52,329
- Can I get a hit?
- Oh, yeah, please, try.

123
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,539
Yeah, I have many more in the drawers.

124
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,044
I smoked the summer I shucked oysters
on a gay cruise.

125
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,754
Ooh, glamorous.

126
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,717
Almost done, two-minute warning.
Be prepared to be amazed.

127
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,094
Max, you shouldn't smoke. You'll get...

128
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,304
What? Electrocuted?

129
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:10,972
[Coughs]

130
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,420
This is silly.
If I'm gonna suck on something this hard...

131
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,227
And get no pleasure out of it,
I should just date.

132
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,732
- I think you're gonna be thrilled.
- Okay.

133
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,654
Oh, she stinks.

134
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,616
Oh. Spritz. Spritz. She is sprayer.

135
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035
All mirror, no toilet.

136
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,204
She's sort of new to this kind of work.

137
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:37,165
She was born rich,
but her father stole money from people.

138
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,834
She was thrown out of her townhouse
and disgraced.

139
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,754
Hmm, yes. Well, she clean like rich girl.

140
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,423
"Hey, everybody, look.
Look what I'm doing.

141
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,885
Oh, spritz, spritz. Ooh."

142
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:55,016
See, you, not born rich,
and you, you're like roar, ha, ha.

143
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,726
Right?

144
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,771
Cleaning's not her thing,
but she has other strengths.

145
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,523
Hmm, I don't see them.

146
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:06,069
Uh, so do we not have the job?

147
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,906
No, I give you job
because one bull equal two girls.

148
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,367
But why you need her, I don't know.

149
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,120
You could make much more money
on your own.

150
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,288
Yeah, well, we're kind of a team.

151
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,583
Listen, Max.
Let me tell you something.

152
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:24,713
She is like rock, tied to you, balloon.

153
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,132
See, she hold you down.

154
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:32,053
You cut her loose and phew.

155
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,266
Yeah, well, heh,
she's not weighing me down.

156
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,102
I had lover who was rock...

157
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:43,231
And I let him go and phew.

158
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,653
I'm finished and I have to say,
that bathroom? Nailed it.

159
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,113
Don't push it. She saw it.

160
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,489
She barely looked at it.

161
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,159
I saw you in the mirror.
Your eye never looked down.

162
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:57,328
Yes, that's because this eye
doesn't go down.

163
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,748
See, I'm trying. Yeah.

164
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,626
Yeah, I have blind spot
from accident as child.

165
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:07,547
When I was 6 years old,
while working in Polish knock-off...

166
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:13,344
Of McDonald's in Warsaw,
I fell on hot mcstick.

167
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,181
How did you fall on a hot stick?

168
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,476
Not a stick that is hot. A hot mcstick.

169
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,478
It's meat on a stick.

170
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,188
And it's very popular.

171
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:28,026
They only have it, like, what?
Two times a year. It's like mcribs.

172
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,614
Sophie, I'm so sorry. That's awful.

173
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,283
Yeah, but I bet
that mcstick thing is delicious.

174
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,871
Well, that must have been hard.
I admire your courage.

175
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:43,083
What are you, counselor from unicef?

176
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,003
You are acing this interview.

177
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,765
Do you know where we are?

178
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,477
This whole building is models.
Life is so funny.

179
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,855
When I lived in Manhattan,
I used to come to model parties here.

180
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,734
And now you clean up their poop.
You're right, life is funny.

181
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,530
There's the apartment upstairs tomorrow.
10j, here it is.

182
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:17,117
How do I look? Maybe he's
the Abercrombie model from the ad...

183
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,245
In the white sleigh
with the fleece jacket and eight-pack.

184
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,291
I don't think it's him.

185
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,377
Hi, I'm big bill. Come on in, girlies.

186
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,380
How many packs did you say?

187
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,299
Oh, what a lovely... oh.

188
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,804
Oh, my god.
Look, Max, he's a figure skater.

189
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,472
Heh. Go ahead. Take it all in.

190
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,059
- How could you not? Heh.
- Ha, ha. It's okay. I'm a model. I'm used to it.

191
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:47,063
Hey. I know you. You're the big bill.
The guy from the gag greeting cards.

192
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,482
Yep. I sold 2 million
of that particular card.

193
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,318
On the front, it says, "you're on..."
When you open it...

194
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,237
- Thin ice.
- Bill: "Thin ice." Right.

195
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,657
Oh, I gotta go in my bedroom and change.
I'll be right back.

196
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,659
Wow, big bill.

197
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,162
No, big bye-bye.
We're not staying here.

198
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,166
If that's on the wall, who knows what's
on the floor, or trapped underneath.

199
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,209
This is an uncomfortable
work environment.

200
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,753
You were gonna be on all fours
scrubbing a toilet.

201
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,423
It was always gonna be
an uncomfortable environment.

202
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,718
Okay, if we're staying,
that's three times the amount of man.

203
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,346
We should get double the money.
I'm calling Sophie and telling her.

204
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,683
Um, I would not suggest you complain
to Sophie. Not a good idea.

205
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,894
Why? Do you know something I don't?

206
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,230
She thinks you don't know how to clean.
That you spritz, spritz.

207
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,566
What does she say
about your cleaning skills?

208
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,610
I'm a bull and I roar.

209
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:37,363
I knew she didn't like me.
She only has eye for you.

210
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,200
Who cares? Just clean better.
Do the living room.

211
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,660
- I'll do the bathroom.
- No, I'll do the bathroom.

212
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,870
Just to prove a point.

213
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,580
I mean, reprove it.

214
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041
This is like when they made me
take the sats again...

215
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,876
Away from all the Asian kids.

216
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,215
Oh! Oh, my god.

217
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,385
Why are you freaking out?
You've seen him naked.

218
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,723
It's not him.
Have you seen the size of this toilet?

219
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:10,647
That is a big-ass toilet. Literally.

220
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,572
Max, I'm finished.

221
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:23,076
The floor is so clean you could eat off it,
and I'm sure he will.

222
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,702
Come on in, I want you to see it.

223
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,499
No, no, no. Go down, go down.
Stop. Please stop.

224
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,585
Never mind, don't need you to see it.
Everything's okay.

225
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,504
How's it going out there?

226
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:38,258
Either your water just broke,
or you pee like a smurf.

227
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,509
My shoes!

228
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,179
No, you did not flush a whole roll
of paper towels.

229
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,474
No, you did not use that tone with me
when my good shoes are wet.

230
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,518
- Shut off the valve!
- Valve?

231
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,603
Max:
Oh, god, what is wrong with you?

232
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,314
How can you not know
where a toilet valve is?

233
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,607
I was rich.

234
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,652
But you have to admit, the mirror?
Nailed it.

235
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,831
Wake up, you lazy bitch!

236
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,332
- What?
- Fire!

237
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,626
Fired? Why, because of the toilet?

238
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,670
Look at the oven. The cupcakes.

239
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,880
Oh, I'm sorry, I fell asleep.

240
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,300
I was just gonna lay down
for five minutes.

241
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,906
I asked you to do one thing
while I went out to get more milk.

242
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:26,139
Take the cupcakes out of the oven.

243
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,309
Happy birthday, kids.
From Max's homemade cupcakes.

244
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,978
Learn more about us
and our blackened cupcakes...

245
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,230
On our expensive website.

246
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:38,401
I'm sorry, Max. I just really needed
a little siesta after all that cleaning.

247
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,988
How are you so good at Spanish
and so bad at cleaning?

248
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,741
What is that smell?

249
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,909
I grabbed my purse and ran.

250
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,995
Caroline burnt cupcakes.

251
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:54,500
Oh, so sad.
Look at all those burnt cakes.

252
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,002
What happened here?

253
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,422
Just a little mishap. I was so tired
from cleaning that bathroom...

254
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:02,592
That I laid my head down
and ended up falling asleep.

255
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:06,179
Oh, such a shame.

256
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,432
Oh, look, Max.

257
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,268
These cupcakes, they're hard as rocks.

258
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:17,690
All you have to do
is throw the rock away, and phew.

259
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,698
I don't think Sophie likes me.

260
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,617
What? She loves you.

261
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:32,497
No. I don't think she has a blind spot,
I think she has a blond spot. For me.

262
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:40,880
Well, I think we found the place
where red bulls come to die.

263
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,550
Man, why do I never get invited
to parties like this?

264
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,803
Look. Do you know what that means?

265
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,180
Yeah, this building
has a real shirt shortage.

266
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,183
You think this might be
the Abercrombie model's apartment?

267
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,977
I doubt
it's the Abercrombie model's apartment.

268
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,480
Here's a note.
Addressed to the cleaning dude.

269
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,732
Dude spelled d-o-o-d.

270
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,693
It definitely might be
the Abercrombie model's apartment.

271
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,696
"Wake me when you get here."
He wants us to wake him.

272
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,157
So do you think he sleeps in the nude?

273
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,118
Yeah, nude. N-o-o-d.

274
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,327
[Both laugh]

275
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,414
- Come on, let's go look.
- Oh, oh, oh. So, what?

276
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:17,041
Seeing this guy naked is no longer
an "uncomfortable work environment"?

277
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,336
It's still uncomfortable
but in that exciting uncomfortable way.

278
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,550
[Whispering] I think it is him.

279
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,844
It's the guy who put the "abs"
in Abercrombie.

280
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,179
- And he's naked. The good naked.
- Oh.

281
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,681
Should we lift the sheet?

282
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,225
[Whispering]
Why not? I already lifted it in my mind.

283
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,061
Max, I got this.
You start cleaning up the mess out there.

284
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:40,523
Heh. You start cleaning the mess out there.
I got this.

285
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,192
Bedroom's attached to bathrooms,
and I do the bathrooms.

286
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,611
- And he's my ideal type.
- By doing the bathrooms...

287
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,406
Do you mean flooding them?
By ideal, do you mean unconscious?

288
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,284
Shh. We can talk out there.
You're gonna wake him.

289
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,453
[In normal voice]
That's what we're supposed to do.

290
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,913
As usual, you don't wanna do the job.

291
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,107
[In normal voice]
What's wrong with you? You're acting weird.

292
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:04,255
Why should I do all the heavy lifting
while you nap and see free model penis?

293
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,549
Heavy lifting?
Where did you get that from?

294
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,634
No one. Sophie.

295
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,929
- I knew she didn't like me.
- It's not that she doesn't like you.

296
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,098
- She doesn't think you're...
- Doing anything?

297
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,767
Not pulling my weight?
She thinks I'm dead weight?

298
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:22,273
Not dead weight,
more like a rock to my balloon.

299
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:26,611
What is that, some kind of Polish haiku?
What does that even mean?

300
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:31,949
She thinks if I cut the rock loose,
I'll go phew.

301
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:35,328
Wait, so you're siding with a woman
you met a week ago over me?

302
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,498
- I'm not siding with anyone. I'm just...
- I know what this is.

303
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,792
This is pick on the rich girl.
It's a poverty smack-down.

304
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:45,796
I heard you two talking while
I was in her bathroom spritz-spritzing.

305
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,926
You think you do everything?
Fine, do everything.

306
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:54,430
You can balloon all over this place
because the rock is leaving.

307
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,309
[Knocking]

308
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,478
Who is it?

309
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,439
You're the rock. I'm the balloon.

310
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,025
Without me lifting you
out of your negative rock-ness...

311
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:09,654
You wouldn't have a business.
I'm the reason we have cupcake jobs.

312
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,198
Oh, oh. You're the reason?
Who stayed up all last night...

313
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,159
Baking 24 more cupcakes
while you were sleeping?

314
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,663
You did. And who delivered
the cupcakes while you were sleeping?

315
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,668
I floated over there
and got paid for the job I got us...

316
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,003
From the website
I'm trying to pay for. Heh.

317
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,839
Now I'm gonna float down
and wake the hot model up...

318
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,968
Because contrary to what you
and your gal pal may think...

319
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,846
- I always do the job I'm hired for.
- Oh, no, I am gonna wake him up.

320
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:40,059
Free model penis is my reward for doing
everything tied to a rock like you.

321
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:46,357
I can't get away because you're the rock
and you're heavier than my balloon.

322
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,985
Hey, stop.

323
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:53,948
This is cleaning job,
not gorgeous ladies of wrestling.

324
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,868
Good thing I stopped by
to check on you. What is this?

325
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,496
You explain it.
I gonna go wake the hot model up.

326
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:03,833
He left a note. Just doing my job.
As usual.

327
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,214
So you think I'm holding Max back?

328
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:14,176
What kind of question is this? Yes.

329
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,721
Well, you're wrong. We're a great team.

330
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,723
There are some things she's better at...

331
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,058
But there are other areas where I excel.

332
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,227
Well, I don't see them.

333
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:26,355
- That's probably because of your eye.
- Oh, my...

334
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,777
- Did you wake him up?
- Uh, no, I think he might be dead.

335
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:41,287
Oh, no. Not the hot one.
Oh, he's my favorite.

336
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,497
This is all I need on yelp.

337
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:47,376
- We should call 911.
- No, I got it.

338
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,462
What are you gonna do?

339
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,048
I'm gonna give him mouth-to-mouth.

340
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,809
I didn't know
there was so much tongue involved.

341
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,937
Yeah, this is not working.

342
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,106
You know what? I know he's still alive...

343
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:13,444
Because his manhood
is knocking on my lady-door, heh.

344
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,366
[Sophie grunting]

345
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,036
[Speaking indistinctly]

346
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,497
He must have taken
too many of those pills.

347
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,958
Pills? I got this.
Max, go get some hydrogen peroxide.

348
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,461
- Sophie, step aside now.
- Oh. All right.

349
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,630
You sure you know
what you're doing?

350
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:36,300
My friend chase travelstead od'd like
three times, and I brought her back twice.

351
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,593
Sophie: Oh.

352
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,803
[Caroline grunting]

353
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,430
There you go.
Bring him up. You're strong.

354
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,934
Caroline: Max, you hold his head back.
Open his mouth.

355
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,148
Back up.

356
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,818
[Caroline grunting
& Sophie gasping]

357
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,986
[Man vomiting]

358
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,156
Sophie: Oh.

359
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,076
I'm starting to see your worth, heh.

360
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:10,668
What? You're being subway creepy.

361
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,713
When you were punching
that almost-dead guy in the stomach...

362
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,006
That was a serious balloon move.

363
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,217
The truth is, we're both balloons.

364
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,137
Yeah, but mine is, like,
way cooler than yours.

365
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,014
It's one of those silver ones
that never goes out of air.

366
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:27,810
- They don't make those. They're toxic.
- Exactly.

367
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:32,648
You know you won't let me come into
the kitchen and help you bake, right?

368
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:37,361
And you know I know that without you,
the job fairy would never show up, right?

369
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,655
But if you ever need me to bake, I could.

370
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,658
No, it's cool.
You do your thing, I'll do mine.

371
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,704
Get your phone. We should capture
this near-death victory as our picture.

372
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:52,835
Totally. On the count of three, think,
"we made $200."

373
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,921
- One, two...
- Hold up.

374
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,717
Sir, if you wanna go home
with that hand, get it off my ass.

375
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,052
Okay, three.

376
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,544
[English - us - sdh]