1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,505 Max, Caroline, I have announcement. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,299 You're actually much shorter and are walking on stilts? 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,887 I have made a special menu for tomorrow's Valentine's night dinner. 4 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,097 Han, that's so romantic. 5 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,516 Yeah. Romantic and wrong. 6 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:19,937 This place isn't when Harry met Sally. It's when Harry met salmonella. 7 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,606 Max, club sandwich. 8 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,317 And heads-up, I lost a band-aid. 9 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,656 Theme menu means I can charge one bigger price, like in top restaurants. 10 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,743 Oh, han, it's pronounced "prix fixe." 11 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,705 Have you seen our chef? It's definitely prick fix. 12 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,001 Tomorrow night, cupid will come to williamsburg diner. 13 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:49,007 Didn't have the heart to tell him cupid is dead. 14 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:53,679 Yep. Hit by a mack truck crossing the Brooklyn-queens expressway. 15 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:58,809 His fat, diapered, baby ass splattered all over the windshield. 16 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,770 I love Valentine's day. 17 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,855 That's your reaction? I killed cupid. 18 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:07,276 You're either a romantic or not. I'm not gonna convince you. 19 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,278 Oh, he's dead. And the proof? 20 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:14,199 When's the last time you knew anyone who fell in love? Like ice loves coco. 21 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,995 Them? They've been holding hands and romantic whispering all night. 22 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:23,375 Their romantic whispering goes like this: "I own nipple clamps." 23 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,087 Plink. Cupid's not dead. 24 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,299 Plink. There goes his little arrow. Plink. Plink. 25 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:35,554 Clamp, ouch. Clamp, ouch. Clamp-clamp, ouch-ouch. 26 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:54,740 Max, since it's just after midnight, it's now officially Valentine's day. 27 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,075 I've got something for you. Guess what it is? 28 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,536 Well, judging from that smile on your face... 29 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,331 I'd say it's a finger-sized hole in your apron. 30 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:05,834 Candy hearts. 31 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:09,338 Here, hold out your hand, let's get our heart on. 32 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,215 I'm way ahead of you. 33 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,180 "Be mine." Classic. What's yours say? 34 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:23,352 "Caroline Channing is lame. I hate you for giving me this. 35 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,104 Valentine's day is the worst." 36 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,606 Ooh, cinnamon, mm. 37 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,905 Good evening, Earl. 38 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,365 My, my, my. 39 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,201 Sophie, seeing you in that dress makes my heart race. 40 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,745 Two scoops of ice cream in a one-scoop cone. 41 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,541 Oh, Earl, you make me smile. 42 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:50,879 I wish we had black people in Poland when I was growing up. 43 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:55,384 Too bad. We really would have enjoyed segregation and Hitler. 44 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,469 Sophie: Oh. 45 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,806 Oh, hi, building neighbors. 46 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:04,309 Well, I was just driving by, and since it was raining... 47 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,105 I thought I could offer you two girls a ride home in my town car. 48 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:12,984 The last time someone offered me a ride, I ended up in a drainage pipe in Jersey. 49 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,070 Sophie, you rent a town car? 50 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,447 Yes, but only when it's raining... 51 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:21,118 Because, you know, I got hair extensions and nail extensions... 52 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:25,080 And, you know, I... I'm too extended to walk. 53 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:31,253 Hello. I saw you from kitchen. 54 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,589 You turned pick-up window into painting. 55 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:40,011 Velvet painting of nude at counter. 56 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,806 Clamp, ouch. 57 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,936 The girls tell me you own cleaning service. 58 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,355 I would like to hire you to clean my house. 59 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,524 Oh, yeah, this is possible. 60 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,817 I will send girl. 61 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,152 What is your address? 62 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:59,197 I don't want some girl. I want you to come clean. 63 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,409 Oh, you cannot get me to come. 64 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,543 Oh, I can get you to come. 65 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:17,048 No, I can no longer come anymore. 66 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,011 No, Max and Caroline can come. 67 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,097 - Oh, no, no, no. We're not coming. - No, we're not coming. 68 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,227 So no one can get you to come? 69 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:33,356 Some people can get me to come. 70 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,485 Just not you. 71 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,280 Hard to get. I like it. 72 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,949 Go get the coats. I'll get this check. 73 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,368 Here's the last check, Earl. 74 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,496 Oh, Max, can you take care of that for me? 75 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,539 - Sure. Why? - Oh, nothing pressing. 76 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,375 Just having a heart attack. I'll see you tomorrow. 77 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,960 You're having a heart attack? 78 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,172 Most definitely. I've had three in my life. We're old friends. 79 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,884 - Earl, you're having a heart attack. - I'll be fine. Seen my tangerine? 80 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,678 I had a tangerine set aside for my walk home. 81 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,765 Forget the tangerine. Earl's having a heart attack. 82 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,518 Sophie, we're taking the town car to the hospital. 83 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,186 Earl, when did the pain start? 84 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,022 When I saw Sophie in that dress. 85 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,111 Oh, hell, no. 86 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,198 Why is this line so long? Did the new iPhone come out? 87 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,491 Let's get him over there. 88 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,451 Max, anything you can do to move this along? 89 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,454 Move. Celebrity coming through. 90 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,541 Morgan Freeman having a heart attack. 91 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,001 He's having a heart attack. 92 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,546 On a scale of one to 10, what's your pain? 93 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,757 Uh, two, we were just in the neighborhood looking for a place to have jell-o. 94 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:44,678 Oh. I was talking to Morgan Freeman. 95 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,179 Take him now! 96 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,390 Sir, he has a history of heart trouble. 97 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,016 All right. We'll get him in. 98 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,935 Earl, go with the nurse. 99 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,313 Damn. It's a man. 100 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,275 We'll be out here, Earl. Everything is gonna be okay. 101 00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,943 Have a seat and wait. 102 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,862 Look at me, gingerbread. 103 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,699 If anything happens to him, I will staple your nut-sac to that chair. 104 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,381 That's right. It's me again. 105 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,800 For the 10th time, he's fine. 106 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,386 He had a minor attack, but he's in good hands. 107 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,723 I would know. I had both of my heart attacks here. 108 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,808 I wanna go back there, see for myself. 109 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,351 Family members only. 110 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,061 Well, I'm his daughter. 111 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,563 Oh, really? 112 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,190 It says here he's 75 years old. 113 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,984 Well, he started late. 114 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,320 And African-American. 115 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,781 He started late with a honky. I'm one of those combo babies. 116 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,868 Here. You need proof? 117 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,997 My last name is black. See? Max black. 118 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:57,542 He's black, I'm black. It'd be dumb if we weren't related. 119 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,837 Can I just get back to playing "angry birds"? 120 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,631 You're yammering about nothing... 121 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,467 While the love of my life is back there, alone and scared. 122 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:09,012 You said he was your father. Now he's the love of your life? 123 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,265 He's both. We're from the south. 124 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,017 Have a seat. 125 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,147 I got us two lattes. It took forever. 126 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,984 Guy in front of me missed his transplant waiting for a mocha frappuccino. 127 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,235 Any news? 128 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,822 The same. They won't let me back there. I even told them Earl was my father. 129 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,368 Now's my chance. Nurse Chewbacca's on the move. 130 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,702 I'm going back there. 131 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,789 If you see anyone notice me sneak by, draw attention to yourself. 132 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,999 Max, I don't know if I can do that. 133 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,794 You're right. That's kind of my thing. Let me think. 134 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,296 Just throw the coffees against the wall. 135 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,217 Ridiculous. I graduated top of my class at wharton. I can do better than that. 136 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:51,930 Woman: Paging Dr. Bender. Dr. Bender, please. 137 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,182 Oh, my god! 138 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,647 Those were not nonfat! 139 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,115 Earl? You in here? 140 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,574 Earl: Max, is that you? 141 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:16,871 Heh, ain't you sweet. But you didn't have to wait around for me. 142 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,748 This is narcissus. 143 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:23,753 She's from the Fiji islands and gives one hell of a sponge bath. 144 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,132 Hi. Can we have a minute alone? 145 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:31,094 Earl, you think this is a good time to have a sponge bath, in your condition? 146 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,804 Max, when they look like that... 147 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,765 There's never a bad time for a sponge bath. 148 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,768 - So are you doing okay now? - Pretty good. 149 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,647 The doctor said it was a mild one, but I'm gonna stay here a couple nights. 150 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,942 Could you find out how much extra for me to get my own room? 151 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,485 A private room? 152 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:51,364 The last time, the guy in the bed next to me thought he was a parrot... 153 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,326 And asked me for crackers the whole damn night. 154 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,120 Done. I'll get you your own room. 155 00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,665 Don't worry about the expenses. I got a little money for a rainy day. 156 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,417 I am not using your money. 157 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,170 But let me guess. "Rainy day" is a strain of weed. 158 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,671 Now you're getting it. 159 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,177 See you later. 160 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,678 Don't die or I'll kill you. 161 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:19,642 So, what? Now you want a private room? How's he gonna pay for that? 162 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,437 So that old man has to be the only man in america... 163 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,355 Who has to pay his medical bills? 164 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,401 Mr. Freeman's done a lot of successful movies. 165 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,446 I don't think your sarcastic attitude is professional. 166 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,697 Professional? 167 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:35,784 Um, an hour ago, your little thug friend here... 168 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:39,537 Threatened to cut me so deep I'd have a vagina. 169 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,167 That offer still stands. 170 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,588 She's upset and vagina's her go-to. 171 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:53,134 The only reason I haven't called security is they were laid off two weeks ago. 172 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,511 What is your name? 173 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,306 Tig. And it's fake, so good luck with that. 174 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,018 Sir, you're representing the shecter family wing of this hospital. 175 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,812 My family knows the shecters. 176 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:08,316 In fact, their son David interns here, and if I made a call, he would not be pleased. 177 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:12,320 If you know them, why are we talking to this lump behind a desk? 178 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,989 Suck it, red face, we're going over your head. 179 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,866 How do you like me now, bitch? 180 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:22,122 Hmm. Get your phone. See if he can swing Earl a private room. 181 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,748 I still have his cell number. 182 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,919 We went out until I realized he was serious about going that pro-bono route. 183 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,671 - Did you two have sex? - No. 184 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:33,466 Sweet. That's what you can offer him for the room. 185 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,262 Caroline: That's amazing. 186 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:40,265 Someone found a florist that delivers after midnight. 187 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,516 That's not so amazing. 188 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:46,396 I know a guy named sticky icky Ricky who delivers exclusively after midnight. 189 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:51,025 I just realized this is the first Valentine's day I won't get flowers from my father. 190 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:54,904 Oh, that's cute. With a big old side of creepy. 191 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,281 No, it's sweet. 192 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:59,742 From the time I was a baby, and even when I had boyfriends... 193 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:04,372 I'd get flowers with a card that says, "you'll always be my Valentine." 194 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,167 I got a Valentine from a guy I liked in high school. 195 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,879 It said, "I'll give you 5 bucks to lift your shirt." 196 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,425 Caroline, hey. I'll be right with you. 197 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,052 There he is. Cuter than I remember. 198 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:24,017 Hey. Wow, when I heard your voicemail, I couldn't believe it. 199 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:28,188 Yes, well, I wasn't sure you'd want to come down, because, you know... 200 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,190 You dumped me two years ago? Heh. 201 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,525 Well, "dumped" is a strong word. Heh. 202 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,572 Tore my heart out, shook it in front of my face. 203 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,030 That any softer? 204 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,951 Hate to interrupt the "perfect white teeth" convention, but we're in a hurry. 205 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,828 David, this is my friend Max. 206 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:47,248 A friend was admitted and we were hoping to get him a private room. 207 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,501 Oh, not here to return my dartmouth t-shirt you stole from me? 208 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,504 - You gave that to me. - No, I didn't. I love that shirt. 209 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:58,468 I feel like I lost custody of it in a divorce and now I'm, like, a deadbeat dad. 210 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,429 How about the room? Any chance? Please? Pretty please? 211 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,182 Oh, you said "pretty please," I'll see what I can do. 212 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:08,061 We should be clear, we can't pay. We're broke. 213 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,813 Both of us. But I'm sure you heard that somewhere. 214 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,899 Yeah, everywhere. 215 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,320 David, I hope your family didn't lose any money with my father. 216 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,197 Nope, still filthy rich. 217 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:24,202 And I can burn some filthy off that rich by getting your friend a vip room. 218 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,206 I'll just drop some names. By that, I mean my own. Heh. 219 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,707 Shouldn't be a problem. 220 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,627 I love Jews. 221 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,631 Yeah, we're generous. Spread the word. 222 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,556 If you wouldn't mind giving narcissus my whereabouts? 223 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,852 Did you see the look on that desk lump's big red face when I pushed you by him? 224 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:54,440 I did. But I think throwing him the finger was a tad out of line. 225 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,653 Wow, Dr. David really hooked us up. 226 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,573 Yeah, this is like an episode of cribs: Icu edition. 227 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,450 80, Earl, what do you think? 228 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,245 - Good lord, is that a Matisse? - I believe so. 229 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,092 - Then, mama, I'm home. - Caroline: Ha, ha. 230 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,087 Ladies, put these suckers in your station. 231 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,589 I think I might get a late Valentine dinner crowd. 232 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,510 You think you might get a late growth spurt, but that's not happening either. 233 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:29,017 You'll get three single girls waddling over at midnight to cry into some tapioca. 234 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,185 True. I need to cut the crap. 235 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,021 Valentine's dinner is bust. 236 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:37,525 And look, I have sacrificed my manhood for no cash value. 237 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,361 But your wings are adorable. 238 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,365 Yes, but matching panties are suffocating the boys. 239 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,493 Come on, close early. 240 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,537 We've only got one table of twi-hards. 241 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,830 I wanna go see Earl. 242 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,374 Oh, what the hell. I love my man Earl too. 243 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,543 So screw it. Let's fly over there. 244 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:02,717 Oh, this isn't like the hospitals in Poland. 245 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,219 The lights are working. 246 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,222 Okay, sit down. I'll take you in one at a time. 247 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,516 All right, cupid, you're first. 248 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,021 Don't wake him. Go back out. 249 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,983 Angels? Oh, lord, no. 250 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,111 Thank god it's you, han. 251 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,655 I saw the wings and I thought heaven was filled... 252 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:29,285 With chunky Chinese cherubs and no jazz. 253 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,830 Oh, okay, great. I'll see you in five. 254 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,332 I'm gonna go meet Dr. David. 255 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,794 Oh, wait a second. If you're going to go meet man, you need lip gloss. 256 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,462 Caroline: Oh, thanks, Sophie. 257 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,881 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, okay. 258 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,181 I have Valentine gift I want to give you. 259 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,892 Oh, hepatitis c? 260 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,521 Happy Valentine's day. 261 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,273 Look at me. 262 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,068 Now look at you. 263 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,570 Now look at me again. 264 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,906 Does this look right to you? 265 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,619 Hard to get. I like it. 266 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,207 Oh, hey. So how's your friend doing? 267 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,502 Good. And thanks to that vip room, he feels like a million bucks. 268 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,131 Which I'm sure is what it costs. 80 I brought you a thank-you gift. 269 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,425 That is not my dartmouth shirt. 270 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,593 No, that's held hostage at the townhouse. 271 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,720 This says "williamsburg." That's where I live now. 272 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:34,392 That's where I live. I moved there to piss my father off, but I wound up loving it. 273 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,519 I wound up loving it too. 274 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:40,648 Hey, maybe we can see each other there sometime, you know, go out? 275 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,483 Yeah, I don't think so. 276 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What? 277 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,450 Look, Caroline, it's been really great getting to reconnect with you... 278 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,577 But I don't see this happening again. 279 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,580 I mean, it's my parents. 280 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,374 With your father in prison, the whole scandal... 281 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,334 I could never bring you home. 282 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,587 Not even to piss off your father? 283 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:06,174 I mean, me dating Caroline Channing? What would people think? 284 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,635 I hope you understand. Oh, hey, thanks for the tee. 285 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,764 Nice of everyone to stop by. 286 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,224 Didn't see Caroline. 287 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,476 She busy tonight? 288 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:20,521 She's here. She's out there, trying to swing a boyfriend situation... 289 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,357 With her doctor-friend who got us the vip hook-up. 290 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,193 What about you, Max? 291 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,696 No sweetheart on Valentine's day? 292 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,492 I worry about you. Be nice if you had someone special. 293 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,701 I already do. 294 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:38,706 Tsk, oh, Max, I'm only gonna be around another 30 or 40 years. 295 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,750 You better widen the net a bit. 296 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,253 Visiting hours are up. Friends have to leave. 297 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,714 She can stay, nurse, she's family. 298 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,091 Earl, I'm family? 299 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,178 Yes, and the best kind of family. You don't want my money. 300 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,058 Hey, Earl. You look really good. 301 00:16:57,225 --> 00:17:01,020 So did you and Dr. Dave do it in a hospital closet... 302 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,813 All very grey's monotony? 303 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,315 No, that won't be happening. 304 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,401 He said he could never date me because of my father... 305 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,862 And, quote, "what would people think?" 306 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,656 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What? 307 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:15,284 I feel like I was just hit by the same mack truck that killed cupid. 308 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,914 Well, somebody's about to get hit by a truck. A Max truck. 309 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,753 Hey, you. Dr. I-forget-your-name. 310 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,506 How? It's written on every wall. 311 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,759 Okay, Dr. Exit. 312 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:35,888 What is wrong with you? Doctors are supposed to be sensitive. 313 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,474 I mean, it's Valentine's day and she has nothing. 314 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:43,437 Couldn't you be like every other guy and just lead her on and not call her? 315 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,356 That is the decent thing to do. 316 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,693 And for the record, she is so hopped up on candy hearts... 317 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:52,321 You would have gotten some tonight for sure. 318 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,449 You just made the biggest mistake of your life. 319 00:17:56,409 --> 00:18:00,037 Well, I guess nobody knows me better than you, girl-I've-never-met-before. 320 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,458 Now I would like to speak to the pro-bono part of you who understands... 321 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,503 Nothing I said should affect that man in the vip room. 322 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,380 That was a very cool thing to do. 323 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:10,798 Earl is fine. Don't worry. 324 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:15,678 And as far as Caroline goes, I'm sorry, but her father hurt a lot of people. 325 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,889 Whatever you put out there comes back to you. 326 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:30,026 What now? You're gonna threaten to feed me my nipples again? 327 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:36,198 Someone just said something about the things you do coming back to you... 328 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,368 And I decided the smart move was to apologize. 329 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,455 Thanks, but it's not necessary. 330 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,167 Actually, you're the nicest person I've dealt with tonight. 331 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,921 Oh, rough job, dude. Here. 332 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,174 Happy Valentine's day. 333 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,801 You wanna go out sometime? 334 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,596 Why would...? 335 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,557 Yeah, give me your number, I'll call you tomorrow. 336 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,233 Sleeping in that hospital chair wasn't that uncomfortable. 337 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:16,238 No, the chairs weren't. Your sad Valentine whimpering was. 338 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,240 So how you feeling this morning? 339 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,535 Pretty good, considering I survived the first Valentine's day... 340 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,579 I didn't get flowers from my father. 341 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,751 So you got one year under your belt. Don't get so cocky. 342 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,712 You still have to make 23 more to tie me. 343 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,299 You know, all this time I've been feeling sorry for you... 344 00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,843 Because you didn't know your father. 345 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,763 But after seeing how you took care of Earl... 346 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,599 I feel sorry for your father that he didn't know you. 347 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,352 You would have been a wonderful daughter. 348 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,188 Don't hold that thought. 349 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:53,067 I don't wanna cry till after we break open the tapioca. 350 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,951 No, I didn't just win a beauty contest. 351 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,245 No, these were left on the front doorstep. 352 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,289 They're both addressed to Caroline. Sorry, Max. 353 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,334 Oh, no, that's cool. Wouldn't wanna break my winning streak. 354 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,504 Oh, well, just look at it this way. 355 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:17,758 She got the flowers, you got the knockers. Huh? 356 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:25,224 All right, girls, I'm off to buy scratchers before all the Puerto Ricans get them. 357 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:31,939 "You'll always be my Valentine. Love, daddy." 358 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,650 Aw. The other one from Dr. Dave? 359 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,611 Change his mind after I tore him a new one? 360 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,406 It's from my father as well, but it's written to you. 361 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:46,704 "Thank you for taking such good care of my sweetheart. M. Channing." 362 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,081 That is so sweet. 363 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,250 Roses from a man. 364 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,836 Now I'm starting to get it. 365 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:57,131 Is it weird that I kind of wanna have sex with your dad?