1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,464 How could ketchup get this hard? 2 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,925 You just hold it in your hand like this and say: 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,427 "You're the biggest ketchup I've ever had." 4 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,890 Hey, everybody. I got it, I got it. 5 00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:18,894 Don't panic. At least you caught it in the early stages. 6 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:24,149 No, I got the paper so we could see if our ticket won the lottery, $120 million. 7 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:28,028 Fun. If we win, I'll get an eighth of my trust fund back. 8 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:32,199 - Come on, now, who's got our ticket? - I've got the ticket. I put it in here. 9 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,285 I figured it's where everybody else gets lucky. 10 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,748 By the way, if we win, I'm gonna buy a condo right next to great adventure... 11 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,292 And go there every day drunk. 12 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:46,296 Also put a soda fridge in my garage for sure. 13 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,507 What will you do with your share if we win? 14 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,176 I'm getting out of this clap-trap as fast as I can... 15 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:54,513 And set me up some kind of a Hugh Hefner situation. 16 00:00:56,473 --> 00:01:01,520 Here we go, for the big money. Ooh, if I win, hello, Netflix subscription. 17 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,856 We need a six, a ten, a five, a 12, and a nine. 18 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,234 And the first number is six. 19 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,319 [All cheer] 20 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,114 And the second number is 47. 21 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:13,824 [All groan] 22 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,452 Good thing I didn't pay my share of the ticket yet, suckers. 23 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,094 I printed up more of our cupcake business cards. 24 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,701 We can hand them out tomorrow at the williamsburg crafts fair. 25 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,725 Ooh, can't wait. Me and you handing out free cupcakes... 26 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,936 Stuck in between hipsters selling crocheted iPad sleeves... 27 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,023 And salt-n-pepa salt and pepper shakers. 28 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:50,027 We're not just giving them away for free. It's marketing. One person eats it... 29 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,363 - And spreads it around to their friends. - So we're herpes. 30 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,493 Hello, Sophie. 31 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,456 If you looked any sweeter, you'd fire up my diabetes. 32 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:08,253 Oh, Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me. 33 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,048 Han: Sophie, I am surprised to see you in here. 34 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,384 Scuttlebutt says you and Oleg are no longer together. 35 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:18,221 Wow, this little girl likes to gossip, yes? 36 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,600 Why don't you scuttle your butt over there... 37 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,102 And get me a menu, the way you're supposed to? 38 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:28,732 Hey, Max, Caroline, come see me in my booth. 39 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:32,277 Are we over here so Oleg can't see you through the kitchen window? 40 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:37,032 What is this, diner or back issue of Cosmopolitan magazine? 41 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,575 I grew up reading cosmo. 42 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:42,412 What 6-year-old doesn't need to know the hidden male erogenous zones? 43 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,082 It's the nipples. The end. 44 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,585 I came in to give you girls cleaning job for tomorrow. 45 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,088 We can't tomorrow. We're doing the crafts fair. 46 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:54,883 We're turning down a real paying job to go to the crap fair? 47 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,928 Yes, it's important that we focus on the cupcake business. 48 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,764 And you can't spell "focus" without "us." 49 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,767 Or f-u. 50 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,816 - Hello, Sophie. - Hello, Oleg. 51 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,276 So do you miss the sex? 52 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,947 - Oh, you know what? We should go. - No, we are having conversation here. 53 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:20,325 And besides, the sex was not that good. 54 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,537 Oh, it was that good. 55 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,122 It wasn't that good. 56 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,832 Please, I beg you, let us go. 57 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,793 Heh. You can go. I'm kind of into it. 58 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,963 It's like a dirty downton Abbey. 59 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,799 So why are you still standing there... 60 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:40,429 Giving me those sad cow eyes in that brown velour? 61 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,473 Because it's a good look on me. 62 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,476 And because I'm waiting for you to admit... 63 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,146 That you came here because you miss the sex. 64 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:54,693 I miss summers in Minsk. I miss smoking in hospitals. 65 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,492 But I don't miss the sex. 66 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,120 Fine, then. What would you like to eat? 67 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:08,665 I'll have my usual sausage. 68 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:14,504 Okay. Ding, it's ready. 69 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,512 Max's homemade cupcakes. 70 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,724 Max's delicious homemade cupcakes. 71 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,477 Let's move this along. Max's homemade cupcakes. 72 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:34,399 Max, come on. Could you at least try and have a better attitude at the crafts fair? 73 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,194 I was doing fine until my hair got gang-feathered... 74 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,530 By that girl from the church of good vibes. 75 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,828 I'm from the funnel-cake booth back there... 76 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:51,833 And your little table is sadder than watching the notebook at a funeral. 77 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,004 Hey, Dutch girl... 78 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,633 Why don't you go stick your finger in a dyke? 79 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:04,429 I'm sure you can find one over near the plus-sized denim. 80 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,228 Max, please, we're all businesswomen here. 81 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:14,397 And some of us are wearing tablecloths on our heads. 82 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,526 The makeshift table is because we're just starting out. 83 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:22,447 - We've been in business eight months. - Heidi, how long have we been funneling? 84 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,701 Every day, 24/7, for the past three months. 85 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:30,038 - And we already have a booth. - Yeah, we do. 86 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,084 I have to say, you girls really take the "fun" out of funnel. 87 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:38,421 Actually, we put the "fun" in funnel. See? 88 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,258 You can't spell "funnel" without "fun." 89 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,885 Or f-u. 90 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,935 Three months and they already have a booth? We're behind. 91 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,603 Max's homemade cupcakes. 92 00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,400 See? Success. 93 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:03,572 Scaring people into participating isn't success, it's scientology. 94 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,200 I'm calling Sophie. We are taking that job. 95 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:15,750 You better have a good reason you're late. I managed to get here on time... 96 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,296 Despite removing the diseased pigeon feathers from my hair. 97 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,048 I do. So today, when we were cleaning that apartment... 98 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,759 And I had my hands in a total stranger's toilet... 99 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:28,972 I realized if we're gonna be successful, we've gotta think outside the bowl. 100 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,641 So after I thoroughly washed my hands... 101 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,312 It never really comes off, though, right? Off your soul, I mean. 102 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:40,150 I made a call to a connection I know and got us a real cupcake job. 103 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,484 And it's in Manhattan. 104 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,362 It's the 1st birthday party for the son of a socialite. 105 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,282 Sixty cupcakes with buttercream frosting. Up top. 106 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,075 Buttercream? 107 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,703 Not the response I expect from my business partner. 108 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:55,999 I was expecting, "oh, awesome job! Thumbs up, buddy!" 109 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,836 Why? Is your business partner on a show on nickelodeon? 110 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,549 Look, I don't do buttercream. Buttercream is a bitch. 111 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:09,679 If it doesn't stay refrigerated, it falls apart as fast as a two-celebrity marriage. 112 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,350 Max, we have to take this job. It's the next step for us. 113 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,770 All we do these days is clean apartments and work at the diner. 114 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,898 That's not all I'm doing. I also babysit for peach. 115 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:23,109 - Oh, peach is fine with it. - Why would peach be fine with it? 116 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,071 I was gonna tell you this after the nickelodeon high five... 117 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:30,700 That didn't happen, I got thrown. Peach is the connection I used to get the party. 118 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,079 You called peach without asking me and begged her for a job? 119 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,873 I didn't beg. I asked if she knew anybody who'd use us. 120 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,751 She was happy to recommend us to her friend constance. 121 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,128 No way. I'm not comfortable with this. 122 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:45,590 You have to do things that make you uncomfortable. It's how you grow. 123 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,344 No, it's the way you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods. 124 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,264 Max, I'm sorry, but we can't turn into those people... 125 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,892 Who work and work just to pay their bills... 126 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,436 And don't have any time to pursue their dreams. 127 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,730 You mean Americans? 128 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,275 I'm telling peach tomorrow we're not doing it. 129 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,735 Now, go get some milk. 130 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,406 No problem, because that's what waitresses do... 131 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,075 And apparently, that's all we'll ever be. 132 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,369 [Caroline screams] 133 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,507 [Caroline sighs] 134 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,261 What? I had to prove the sex was not that good. 135 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,930 Oleg, on the food? 136 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:38,935 Don't say it like that. That ham was already glazed before we got there. 137 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,156 So I'm guessing you're back together? 138 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,784 Oh, no, no. The sex was not that good. 139 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,620 Oh, it was that good. 140 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:10,133 I went to get Mayo and it all happened so fast. 141 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,601 [Dance music playing] 142 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,654 Okay, babies, give me fashion, give me face. Yeah. 143 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,491 Peach, I don't know what's going on in your apartment... 144 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:38,495 But I would like it on the record, I am not a willing accomplice. 145 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,330 So, what is going on here? 146 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,124 Well, Brad is giving us seduction, like his namesake... 147 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,919 And Angelina is giving us nothing, like her namesake. 148 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:50,256 This is a pretty fancy setup. Were the kids nominated for an Oscar? 149 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,760 Best performance by twins in a ridiculous situation? 150 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,137 It's a photo spread for my new mommy blog. 151 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,808 I'm calling it "mommy and me." Isn't that clever? 152 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,518 And original. 153 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,521 I've had a blog since my friend constance started her blog. 154 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,107 We both have blogs and we both have babies. 155 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,234 Only her baby is adopted from Africa. 156 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,071 She'd be winning if I didn't have two from a poor white hillbilly surrogate. 157 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:19,202 Um, about yourfriend constance, I think I was supposed to do a party for her... 158 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:23,665 Mm-hm. Don't screw this up, because I hate her and I need her to love me. 159 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,250 Yeah, here's the thing. 160 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:29,045 Thank you, but Caroline should never have called you and asked for a favor. 161 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,964 I'm not comfortable asking you to do that. 162 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:35,051 Well, I did it for you. And now you'll do that for me. 163 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:39,597 And, Max, this has to go swimmingly, which is a new word I just learned. 164 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:45,145 - You're saying I can't get out of it? - I'm saying, Max, you can't get out of it. 165 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,734 Max, still not talking to me because of the peach thing? 166 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,820 Fine. 167 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,323 Those are some pretty bad-ass buttercream cupcakes. 168 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,493 Ain't no drama going on in that box! 169 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,706 Okay, I just went gangster, and not even a smile? 170 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,959 What? Are you planning to never talk to me again? 171 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,504 You nodded. If you were deaf, that would be talking. 172 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,759 That's true. My brother's deaf. Not from birth, from firecrackers. 173 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,636 Relax, we still have time. 174 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,306 Ten more minutes on the train, then a 15-minute walk. 175 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,224 The buttercream's not gonna melt. 176 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,271 Some people just like to create nonverbal drama. 177 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,688 [Wheels screech] 178 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,360 Man [over pa]: Attention, passengers, there is an obstruction on the track ahead. 179 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,904 Man: Oh, no. 180 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,323 I bet someone jumped in front of the train. 181 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,617 Oh, my god, what a tragedy. 182 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,869 The buttercream! 183 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,417 Man [over pa]: Attention, passengers, we apologize for this delay. 184 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,295 There's still an obstruction on the tracks ahead. 185 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:57,091 It's totally, like, a body. They can't get it off and whatnot. 186 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,177 Man: We should be moving shortly. 187 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,096 What's with this guy? He said that 20 minutes ago. 188 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,016 How are your cupcakes? Mine are getting a little loose. 189 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:09,854 Still? Still not talking? Fine, Max, now I'm not talking either. 190 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:14,025 What's with her? She said that 20 minutes ago too. 191 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,527 But she just keeps talking. 192 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,780 I know, right? 193 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,367 We probably hit the body, so it's all up in the wheel and whatnot. 194 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,037 Well, if there is whatnot under our wheels... 195 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:29,499 And I don't get these cupcakes there, I lose my babysitting job. 196 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,125 Are we babysitters or bakers? 197 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,127 - I was talking to him. - Stay out of this. 198 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,337 [Speaks in Spanish] 199 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,923 If you two are bakers, break out some of those cupcakes... 200 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,093 - So we all don't starve. - No one is touching these cupcakes. 201 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,096 Our entire future is riding on these mothers. 202 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,849 I think I'm smelling, like, a dead-body smell. 203 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,185 You are making things so much worse in here. 204 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,812 You don't smell that? 205 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:55,817 It's like when my sister burned herself throwing firecrackers at my brother's ear. 206 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,197 This train is out of service. 207 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,992 We are approximately two blocks from the next station. 208 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,493 We have to take you on foot. 209 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,871 Please form a single line and we will escort you to safety. 210 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:12,333 They expect me to walk through a subway tunnel in heels? 211 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,045 Hey, everybody, I think we know who we're gonna eat first. 212 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,468 Oh, my god, it's so hot up in here. It's like 200 degrees. 213 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,264 If I faint and fall down there, the rats will, like, eat me and whatnot. 214 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,725 Rats? Max, are there rats? 215 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,144 It's a subway. The floor is made of rats. 216 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,480 What you really have to worry about are the ninja turtles. 217 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,149 Thank you for responding. 218 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,735 - Hold up. - I am telling you right now. 219 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,947 If I lose my babysitting job over this, the rats will be the better option for you. 220 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:46,993 We're only two blocks from the station. We can make it. How are your cupcakes? 221 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:53,750 - They're still holding together. - Like us. We're still holding together. 222 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,795 Jeez, come on. Oprah and Gayle, less talk, more walk. 223 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,630 Folks, there's a bit of a gap here. 224 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,633 A gap? There can't be a gap. Why is there a gap? 225 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,470 Because people need reasonably priced basics. 226 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,639 I'm gonna hop across and help the rest of you over. 227 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,769 Man: Whoa. 228 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,606 Okay, miss, you're next. I put the light on it, just grab it. 229 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,942 You know how many times I've heard that from a guy in a tunnel? 230 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,444 Here, just take these. 231 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,863 Careful, sir, it's buttercream! 232 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,576 I'm throwing you my purse. Here it comes. 233 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,249 Thank you. Why, thank you. 234 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,669 - Okay, miss, you're next. - Hand me over the cupcakes and jump. 235 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:44,342 I can't, I'm terrified. What if I fall? The rats will eat me. 236 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,345 I can never come back from that. Bankruptcy, yes. Rats, no. 237 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,556 "Caroline, where are your toes?" "Well, it's a long story." 238 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,352 If you fall, that third rail will fry you up way before the rats get there. 239 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,356 Listen, Maria. You are freaking me out. 240 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:01,317 If we're lucky, the rats will eat your mouth. 241 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,905 Caroline, it's okay. It's just a step. Take the step. 242 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,657 Hold these. 243 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,575 Come on, I'm right here. 244 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,161 I took the step, now you have to take the step. 245 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,206 That's right, you did. I do. 246 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,083 Here we go. 247 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,669 - Back up, everybody, yeah. - Back off... 248 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:23,548 Go, Caroline, go, Caroline, go. Go, Caroline, go, Caroline, go. 249 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,966 Go, Caroline, go, Caroline... 250 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,592 [Caroline screams] 251 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,011 I saw a rat. We made eye contact. 252 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,224 It'll probably be easier if you took those heels off. 253 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:37,061 Sir, that is never going to happen. We are in Manhattan. 254 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:40,064 I may be under it, but I am still in it. 255 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:43,776 When they pull out my half-eaten body, I will be wearing my heels. 256 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,529 [Max grunts] 257 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,364 [All cheer] 258 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,994 - Maria! - What? I only had one. 259 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,873 What are you gonna do? Jump back over and do something and whatnot? 260 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,377 Constance, we're sorry we're late. 261 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,005 I don't wait. I don't wait for anything. 262 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,382 I already have the iPhone 8. 263 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,385 Sorry, we couldn't help it. We were trapped on the subway. 264 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:13,222 Well, just some cupcakes on a plate. I got a room full of women out there... 265 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,601 Who need to cut something in half and then eat the other half... 266 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,395 And they need to do it now! 267 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,316 Welcome back to Manhattan. How do they look? 268 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:28,112 Like they all had unprotected sex with each other. 269 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,406 Oh, hi, you two. I'm looking for the babies. 270 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,992 I'm about ten seconds from just giving up. 271 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,036 There's a problem with the cupcakes. 272 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,580 There can't be. Constance will kill me, literally. 273 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,124 Her last two best friends went missing. 274 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,254 That is not attractive at all. Is that what food looks like? 275 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,383 Why are there no cupcakes out? 276 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,136 If you two worked for me, I'd deport you. 277 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,931 There's a bit of a cupcake situation. 278 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,850 The buttercream sort of broke down on the way up. 279 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,062 It's not a problem. We can fix it. 280 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,814 I'll run to a deli, get what we need to touch them up. 281 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,484 - No one's the wiser. - And I take full responsibility. 282 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,070 My partner warned me that buttercream was a bitch. 283 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,698 I'm not being rude. That's a technical baking term. 284 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,160 You expect me to pay $300 for this? 285 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,997 Caroline, I have to say that you are a bigger con artist than your father. 286 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:24,710 Then I have to say, you're a bigger bitch than the buttercream. 287 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,922 I'm not your boss, so I can't hit you... 288 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,885 But I'm sure that peach won't be your boss much longer either. 289 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,388 - Right, peach? - But I love Max. 290 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,766 She's been with me since I bought the twins. 291 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,973 - I can't live without her. - You're never coming... 292 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,063 - To another one of my parties. - Max, you're fired. 293 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,906 It's my fault you lost your babysitting job, and I feel awful. 294 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,617 Hey, I'm the one who called that bitch a bitch. 295 00:17:56,784 --> 00:18:00,454 And I'm gonna ride those awesome fumes right up till we get evicted. 296 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:05,876 Why can't you just admit the sex was that good? 297 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,295 You know it, I know it... 298 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,590 The ham with the bite marks in the freezer knows it. 299 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,009 Okay, fine. 300 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,845 The sex was that good. 301 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,806 As was the ham. 302 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:23,227 It was that good because it was more than just sex. It was love. 303 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:27,565 Oh, it is not love. 304 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,734 Oh, it is love. 305 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,070 Oh, it is not love. 306 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:37,575 It was dirty, disgusting sex. 307 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,163 Yes, it was. 308 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,210 Oleg, do you really love Sophie? 309 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:54,216 Yes, I do. And one day, I will kiss her. Her lips will be mine. 310 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,637 Wait, you've never kissed her? 311 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,681 Not on the lips of her face. 312 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,854 But that day will come. 313 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,817 Man, I can't believe I'm actually saying this... 314 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,570 But that is pretty freaking romantic. 315 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:20,409 I'm looking for Max. I think her last name is black. 316 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:24,288 Oh, sorry, maybe it's African-American. 317 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,835 You think her name is Max African-American? 318 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,505 Peach, what are you doing here? Who's with the twins? 319 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,714 They're in the car. 320 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:38,344 Don't worry, I rolled up the windows and locked the doors, so they're safe. 321 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,598 Max, I'm sorry for pretending to fire you in front of constance. 322 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,185 - Pretended? That felt pretty real. - Yeah, I'm good. 323 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:50,064 My fake orgasms are so real, even I believe them. 324 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,859 Peach, this is all my fault. Please give Max herjob back. 325 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,655 That's why I'm here. Max, come back. I need you to watch them tomorrow. 326 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,865 And then every day. 327 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,829 Peach, I don't think I can work for you tomorrow or any other day. 328 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,540 We have to focus on our business. 329 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,750 Are you sure you're comfortable with this? 330 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,420 No, I'm not comfortable, but that's the point, right? 331 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,963 You gotta take a step. 332 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,966 Well, then how about just for another year? 333 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:20,428 By then, the twins will be old enough to take care of themselves. 334 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,600 No. But I promise I'll come by and say hi to the twins whenever I can. 335 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,935 Oh, Max. 336 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:32,022 I'll never find someone as wonderful as you who speaks English. 337 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,568 Bye, Max. 338 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,947 Wow, good for you. Good for us. 339 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:44,034 Hope so. That's the first job I ever quit without a job to take its place. 340 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:48,414 You have another job. You work for yourself. You're your own boss. 341 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:52,877 My own boss? I can't wait to sleep with myself to get a promotion. 342 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284 [English - us - sdh]