1 00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:07,049 Oh, my God, we have customers? What's going on? 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:10,009 Why are there hipsters here? Are we selling stupid hats... 3 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:13,388 ...and telling them they're more talented than they actually are? 4 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:17,309 No, that's already a store. It's called Fedorable. 5 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,812 You've been working so hard to get us customers in... 6 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:24,817 ...I wanted to contribute by finding a way to get in the neighborhood hipsters. 7 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:26,568 So here's our new flyer. 8 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:29,487 You made up a new flyer without talking to me about it? 9 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,533 I renamed all the cupcakes after people from the '90s. 10 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:36,829 "Max's Homemade Cupcakes. We've got all your Flavor Flavs." 11 00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:38,664 Hipsters love '90s nostalgia... 12 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,459 ...more than they love pretending not to love anything. 13 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,837 "Come in and lick a Beavis. 14 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,921 Eat a Butthead." 15 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,301 The Pistachio is now called the Dennis Rodman... 16 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,719 ...because it's such a dumbass flavor. 17 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:57,015 Cute. Wait, what's going on over there? Why are all those cupcakes smashed? 18 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,476 Those are the Nancy Kerrigans. 19 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,104 I don't know if it's in good taste to make fun of her tragedy. 20 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,608 -I sold eight of them. -Screw her. You're a genius. Heh. 21 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,319 Ooh, ooh. Can I name one? 22 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:12,156 How about we call the day-olds the Hugh Hefners? 23 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,325 That's not '90s. 24 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,495 He's in his 90s and he's stale and hard. 25 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,385 Can I get a Jonathan Taylor Thomas to go and two of the Spice Girls? 26 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,555 Any one but Baby. 27 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,682 -Sure. -Dude, you should come... 28 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,895 ...to the '90s trivia contest every Monday at the Bar Bar. 29 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,438 You could win, like, big money. 30 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,983 And then I could pay for the lobotomy I'd need... 31 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,444 ...to forget that I ever participated in a hipster contest in a bar. 32 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,737 (CAROLINE CHUCKLING) 33 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,448 Cute hat. You're very talented. 34 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,245 I'm putting this flyer up in the window. 35 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,625 Oh. Look, there's a street performer trying to get people to dance... 36 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,460 -...with his marionette outside our shop. -Uh-oh. 37 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,713 Not cool. No hipster wants to crump with a puppet. 38 00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,134 See, he just chased them away. 39 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,469 We'll ask him to move but we have to be nice. 40 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,973 Nice? Nice. Oh, yeah, that's the thing you are to the welfare lady... 41 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,977 ...while your mom's in the bedroom hiding the new TV. 42 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,855 (ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 43 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,401 Hi, how are you? We own this cupcake-- 44 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:35,322 Shh. Not while he's dancing. 45 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,122 Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to wait? 46 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,461 Oh, this dude's a serial killer. 47 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,912 Oh. Uh.... 48 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,997 Do you want me to...? 49 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,256 Yup. Total serial killer. 50 00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:38,384 It's just a matter of time till we're hung on strings in his basement. 51 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,266 And I probably just got puppet herpes. 52 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,477 (MUSIC STOPS) 53 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:51,439 Well, I hope you enjoyed your kiss with charming Pierre. 54 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,692 Now, if you wouldn't mind. 55 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,655 Oh, Pierre's a prostitute? 56 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:05,871 It's weird for him to do it in the open, but if he can't afford a car, he can't. 57 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:11,001 Oh, you're one of those. A woman without wonder. 58 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:16,005 Not true. In fact, I'm wondering how you manage to pay rent. 59 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:20,134 Okay, could you two just move along? I have another show in five minutes. 60 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:24,098 That was a show? Look, you can't do your little skits here. 61 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,307 Heh. She doesn't mean to be negative. 62 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:30,562 She's right. I was planning to be all positive till your doll raped her leg. 63 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:35,233 Pierre is not a doll, okay? He's a marionette. 64 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:38,653 Hand-carved by me. And I don't do skits. 65 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:42,949 Okay? I received a National Endowment for my work. 66 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,661 What? The government pays for stuff like this... 67 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:49,081 -...and I can't get my back tooth fixed? -Heh. 68 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,543 Well, I, for one, really appreciate the art of puppetry. 69 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:57,297 -I can tell you do. And so can Pierre. -Oh.... 70 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,632 You know he doesn't just approach anybody. 71 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,553 I'm Caroline. This is Max. And you are? 72 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,848 My stage name is J. Petto. Heh-heh. 73 00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:11,353 Oh, so cute. Geppetto, like Pinocchio's father. 74 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,439 No, it's J-period-Petto. 75 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,276 Disney owns the rights to the name Geppetto... 76 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,612 ...so once again the poor starving artist gets screwed. 77 00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:26,035 So sad. Can you move? 78 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,620 See, this is our cupcake shop and you're blocking the entrance. 79 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,707 Uh, this is a public space and I know my rights. 80 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,711 Showtime. 81 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,297 (HUMMING) 82 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,761 I was trying to be nice, but you are the rudest puppeteer I've ever met. 83 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,262 I'm including Shari Lewis... 84 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:49,475 ...who told my father to shove it on my fifth birthday. Let's go, Max. 85 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,730 Hey, doll man. 86 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,523 You don't wanna mess with us. 87 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,485 I make one call to the cops, they do a background check... 88 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:04,031 ...and I'm pretty sure you'd go from J. Petto to J. Petto-phile. 89 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,161 Miss, I dropped my David Hasselhoff. 90 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,163 Well, it's not the first time he's been on the floor. 91 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,625 Hey, you can't talk to me like that. 92 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,795 I studied puppetry in Paris at the Palais-- Aah! 93 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,838 (CAROLINE & MAX GASPING) 94 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,634 Oh, my God. He slipped on David Hasselhoff. 95 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,677 -Are you okay? -Yeah. God, I'm fine, I'm fine. 96 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,305 I'm just a little embarrassed. 97 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:33,268 Oh, no. No. I landed on Pierre. 98 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,478 Pierre! 99 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,105 Here, have a seat. 100 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,149 Would either of you like a coffee or a free cupcake? 101 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,028 No, I'm just gonna pack up and go. Thank you. 102 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:48,117 -Come back any time for a free cupcake. -But no need to bring your dolls. 103 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:52,745 They're not dolls. I'm a man! 104 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,255 It's crazy how many hipsters came into our shop today from our new flyers. 105 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,218 We ran completely out of all the Butterfinger Buttafuocos... 106 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,471 ...the Joeys and even the Mary Jo's, which I did not think would sell. 107 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:15,310 I reworked the smashed Nancy Kerrigans and called it the Mary Jo. 108 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:19,189 Oh, girls, I'm so happy for you. 109 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:23,235 You know, I remember when my business first started to take off. 110 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,531 The first thing I did was to buy the little village that I grew up in... 111 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,742 ...and then burn it to the ground. 112 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:36,581 I was just so angry they wouldn't let me be a cheerleader. 113 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:41,752 No, baby, that was the movie Carrie. You fell asleep watching it last night. 114 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,297 Oh. 115 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,216 Yeah, I gotta stop watching movies late at night. 116 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:50,721 Once, for a whole year, I thought I framed Roger Rabbit. 117 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,807 (BELL DINGS) 118 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,730 I'm looking for the owners of Max's Homemade Cupcakes. 119 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,107 Oh. That's me. Wow, word is really spreading. 120 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,776 -How can I help you? -You've been served. 121 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,403 Max, I just got served. 122 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,908 Did he go after your bangs? Because that's where I'd start. 123 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:15,161 This is a lawsuit. It says, "Max's Homemade Cupcakes is being sued... 124 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:19,957 ...for injuries sustained in our shop by Myron Shales a.k.a. J. Petto." 125 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,336 -Max, it's that puppet guy. -He's suing us? 126 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,838 We should be suing him for gross.... 127 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,634 I don't know what the legal words are, but just for being gross. 128 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,386 Can't afford to be sued. We can't afford the lawyer... 129 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:36,515 ...on those bus ads who has a gavel in one hand and a chicken in the other. 130 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:41,730 I hope everything was satisfactory. Can I get you ladies anything else? 131 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,316 Like a strong work ethic. 132 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,985 Han, it's not funny. We're being sued. 133 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,695 Okay. Let me see those. 134 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,198 I studied law in Korea, but I never made it through graduation. 135 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,701 I realized it wasn't my passion and I pulled out. 136 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,791 Did they know it was in? 137 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,211 Let's see. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 138 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,505 Yeah, you're being sued. 139 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:11,677 What law school did you go to? Cal State The Obvious? 140 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,096 Did you graduate magna come rarely? 141 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,850 I told you, I pulled out. 142 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:24,563 But don't worry, accidents like this happen in stores all the time. 143 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,984 That's why all businesses have insurance. 144 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,903 Well, not all businesses. 145 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,447 How could you not have insurance? 146 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:38,245 You need to get protection and I'm not talking about condoms. 147 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,455 We're not idiots, Han. 148 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:43,417 We had the discussion. I was like, "We need insurance." 149 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,376 She was like, "We have money?" "No." 150 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,712 She was like, "Chances something will happen?" 151 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,673 "A million to one." She was like, "Let's get gummy bears." 152 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,467 I was like, "Okay. We'll talk about this another time." 153 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,846 And here we are talking about it now. 154 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:02,727 Remember, we have no choice. We have to get him to drop this lawsuit. 155 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,813 Okay, 3B. Here, this is the puppet guy's apartment. 156 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,524 You say puppet guy, I say serial killer. 157 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:12,361 You say apartment, I say the brightest dot on the Megan's Law website. 158 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,989 Max, that is not charming. 159 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,325 Stay on message. We're charming, we're sorry-- 160 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:21,495 We're drunk. Well, I am. How else do you think I'm going to pull off charming? 161 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:26,125 Let's get in and out. That puppet creeped me out. I don't wanna see it again. 162 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,799 Oh, I am not drunk enough for this. 163 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,219 I've never been drunk enough for this. 164 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,013 Is J. Petto home? 165 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,441 I'm kind of surprised. I did not think he'd have a girlfriend. 166 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,654 Hello. Well, I hope you enjoyed meeting Yvette. 167 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,783 She plays the lute, you know? 168 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,037 -Oh, yes, she was very charming. -And small. 169 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,331 She must make your penis look huge. 170 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,707 I'm sorry? 171 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,461 Charming, Max. Charming. 172 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,923 -Hi, we stopped by to bring cupcakes. -Hi. 173 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,551 We feel so bad about what happened. Can we come in for a minute? 174 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:21,514 Um.... Well, I wasn't expecting company, but come in. 175 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,182 We're all just hanging out. 176 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,351 CAROLINE. Oh. Oh. 177 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,605 This isn't weird. This isn't weird at all. 178 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,649 It's like we're in a dead body car wash. 179 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,653 I had a nightmare that I had a nightmare like this once. 180 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:41,534 Just so you know, I'm not allowed to talk about the lawsuit. 181 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,495 Well, I'm not allowed to talk about how I really feel right now. 182 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:49,250 Ha. Speaking of the lawsuit, you seem well, you know, physically. 183 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:53,422 Which is great because the suit said you had a shattered arm and a broken hip. 184 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:58,677 Oh. Yeah, I'm not suing you for my shattered arm and hip. It's.... 185 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,971 It's for Pierre's. 186 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:10,522 I crushed his little body when I fell. 187 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:14,817 He must have thrown himself under my body to protect my fall. 188 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,822 -Dexter, party of one. -Shh. 189 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,701 I have to rotate his arm... 190 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,203 ...and hold it every 15 minutes to get his full range of motion back. 191 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:30,332 That's what the sling's about. I know he's not alive. 192 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,461 -Do you? -Heh. 193 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,966 We're very sorry for his injury, but this is absurd. 194 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,177 You can't sue us because your puppet broke. 195 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:44,764 Yes, I can. This puppet is my livelihood and he's heavily insured. 196 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,767 Great, the puppet has insurance and we don't. 197 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,352 -Max. -What? You don't have insurance? 198 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,772 You have a business, but no insurance? 199 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,400 Look, we can't go to court. It would wreck us. 200 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,863 Can we leave the lawyers out and come up with a creative solution? 201 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:04,158 I mean, you're clearly creative. Look, you even made a skeleton king. 202 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:08,788 That's not a skeleton king. That's Pazuzu, Prince of Darkness. 203 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,457 Let me just put this out there... 204 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:15,336 ...because we should really move things along and also, I'm afraid. 205 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,005 How much is it gonna take to make this go away? 206 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,549 You wanna take a second to consult your roommates? 207 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,052 I think I saw a lawyer doll. 208 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:29,267 He is not a lawyer. He is a maître d'. And a damn good one. 209 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,229 You women just don't get it. 210 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:37,067 This is why I broke up with my Toronto-based girlfriend over Skype. 211 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,985 Right? 212 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:44,073 Thousand dollars by Monday. But if she makes another comment... 213 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,411 ...about my intricate hand-carved marionettes being dolls... 214 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,578 (WHISTLES) 215 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,788 ...it goes up. 216 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,543 Fine. A thousand dollars. And no strings. 217 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,963 -Except for the ones on all-- -Max, don't say it. Heh. 218 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,470 Valley of the Dolls , Chucky, Bride of Chucky... 219 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,264 ...Hello, Dolly!, Dollywood and the Dolly Lama. Oh.... 220 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,687 Those are the things I was holding in. Oh, wait. 221 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,690 Doll and Oates. 222 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:23,279 Now what? How are we gonna get a thousand extra dollars by Monday? 223 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,700 Wait, Max, we can go to that bar and exploit your special gifts. 224 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,577 If I have to strip, I have to strip. 225 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:33,414 Not that kind of bar. The hipster trivia bar. 226 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,960 Can't I just strip? At least I'd still have my dignity. 227 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:45,719 It's all here. A thousand dollars. So that's it. No more lawsuit. 228 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:49,431 Actually, that's not it. As it turns out, we're gonna need 500 more. Heh. 229 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,517 For what? Did your dues for the serial killers' union... 230 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,020 ...and the pedophile guild come up at the same time this year? 231 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,981 Pierre is in crisis. 232 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:03,028 But his psychiatrist could tell you more about that. 233 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:06,155 If there's a psychiatrist who hasn't locked him up... 234 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,158 ...I don't trust his opinion. 235 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:13,078 (IN DEEP VOICE) I'm Dr. Pangloss. 236 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,458 Pierre broke more than his hip in your cupcake shop. 237 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,668 He broke his spirit. 238 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,423 He lost his dream. 239 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,552 He no longer wants to perform. 240 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:35,434 This is where he cuts us in half and sews my top to your bottom. 241 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,062 On the plus side, we'll look amazing. 242 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,688 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Yeah, well, you heard it. 243 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:44,235 Pierre is ready to give up his art and he needs a little more money. 244 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,821 Forget it, puppet nuts. We don't have 500 dollars. 245 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,822 We don't have 500 anything. 246 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,158 Well, think about it. 247 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,368 (KETTLE WHISTLING) 248 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,037 That's my tea kettle. Yvette? 249 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,371 Ugh. I'll do it. 250 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,707 I'm not so sure the hostility is quite working... 251 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,211 ...so you wait in the hall and I'll try to talk some sense into him. 252 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,254 You are the only person in the world... 253 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,341 ...who would insist on being alone with this man, but okay. 254 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,970 Please, just listen. We are broke. 255 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,056 To get more money, we'd have to strip. 256 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,350 Well, Gigi and Lana started off as strippers... 257 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:20,980 ...and now they're in the Folies Bergère. So.... 258 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,400 You know, even for a middle-aged puppeteer, you're a freak. 259 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,696 See you in court! 260 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,658 Nothing. He's gonna sue us and we have no other tricks up our sleeve. 261 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:36,620 Well, maybe not my sleeve, but how about my coat? 262 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,790 -Pierre? -Right there. 263 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,760 I'm sorry, we're not open today. 264 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,056 I know you took him. Give me back Pierre. 265 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,559 We're not open. We've had a terrible tragedy. 266 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:02,187 Well, not us but a new friend of ours had a gruesome accident... 267 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,481 ...and we are just devastated. 268 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,026 You wouldn't be that cruel. 269 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,320 Relax. I could never be that cruel. But Max could. 270 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,907 Well, well, well. 271 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:20,205 Look who it is, Pierre. Your lover, J. Petto. 272 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,250 He's not gay. 273 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,545 He had a girlfriend named Lulu. 274 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,256 She was a courtesan in the court of a French king. 275 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:32,301 They broke up over a brief flirtation she had with Yvette. 276 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,846 And I know they're not alive! 277 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:39,851 Now, what do you say we stick to the original no-strings deal? 278 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:44,480 Because if you don't, Max will show you what no strings really means. 279 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,150 Do it. Go. Bring it. 280 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:51,488 I can always restring him. I'm a master of my craft. 281 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:56,034 Yes, we thought you'd say that. So you leave us no choice. Max. 282 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,535 PETTO: What? 283 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:03,415 I'm not changing my mind. And I'm coming back with the police. 284 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,252 Oh, I wouldn't get the cops involved. 285 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:13,009 Now that your boy here is in a compromising situation. 286 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,553 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 287 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,568 How dare you! 288 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,990 And she does not like the feel of a condom! 289 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:42,788 -You two are sick! -Hey. We don't judge. 290 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:49,211 We think whatever two consenting dolls or maybe three consenting dolls do.... 291 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:53,590 And it's gonna be bad because he's a grower, not a shower. 292 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:02,851 And once a few of these pics are posted online... 293 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,769 ...there goes your children's party business. 294 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,315 Now, call it quits and you can delete these pics. 295 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,026 Fine. Yes. Okay, you win. You win. You win. 296 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,863 Oh, we're not falling for your word again. 297 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:20,742 -If you want your doll back-- -For the last time, he is not a doll! 298 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:24,413 Bring us a notarized letter saying you release Max's Homemade Cupcakes... 299 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,250 ...of all further legal action. We'll give you back Pierre perfectly intact. 300 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,961 Minus his virginity, of course. 301 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:35,465 But don't worry, you'll still have yours. 302 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:39,596 Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can. Ugh. 303 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,598 Thirty years in the cutthroat world of puppets... 304 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:47,185 ...and I'm undone by two crazy cupcake bitches. 305 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,861 Did you hear that? Thirty years. 306 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:58,280 Thirty years of following his dream and he's still broke? 307 00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:02,035 Is that gonna be us, Max? Is our dream just as stupid as puppets? 308 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,328 Sorry, Pierre, I forgot you were here. 309 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:08,082 He's sound asleep. Three-ways really take it out of you. 310 00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:12,461 Here, dress her. She has to get a cab. She'd rather sleep in her own bed. 311 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,799 And do you know why we're not gonna turn into him? 312 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,386 Because 30 years ago, when J. Petto said, "I'm gonna be a puppeteer"... 313 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,431 ...he didn't have a friend to tell him: 314 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,807 "You shouldn't do that. It's a stupid idea." 315 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,853 Unlike him, you have me to tell you when it's a stupid idea. 316 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,105 I have you to tell me not to Mace myself... 317 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,775 ...no matter how bad I wanna know how it feels. 318 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:36,653 So the cupcake shop isn't a stupid idea? 319 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,988 No, and it's actually starting to take off. 320 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,782 Because no one embraces a stupid idea like a hipster. 321 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,285 But, Max, we do need insurance. 322 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,412 -But do we have the money? -No. 323 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:49,207 -Chances someone else is gonna fall? -A million to one. 324 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,584 I like those odds. 325 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:56,881 -You know, this is a really cute dress. -Forget the dress. Look at his cute pants. 326 00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,675 We really should give them to Han. 327 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,038 English - US - SDH