1 00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,669 Okay, Max, I figured out our new schedule. 2 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,546 And I figured out the cheap toothpaste we've been using 3 00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:06,048 is really diaper cream. 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,968 On the plus side, that rash cleared up on my gums. 5 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,221 We'll do our diner shift from 6:00 till 2:00, 6 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,557 then sell cupcakes here from 2:00 to 4:00. 7 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,266 Make the cupcakes in the morning from 7:00 to 11:00, 8 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:18,393 and then pastry school from 12:00 to 4:00. 9 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,437 -Forget anything? -Just pooping and sleeping. 10 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:23,356 Now, I have to go rewrite the schedule. 11 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:26,568 Let's go, Max, you have a huge, huge day tomorrow. 12 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,027 First day of pastry school. 13 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,780 Stop saying it's huge. 14 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,282 Whenever I think something's gonna be huge, 15 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,200 it just turns out to be all balls. 16 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,496 (THEME MUSIC) 17 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,789 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 18 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,340 I splurged and had my blouse cleaned. 19 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,426 Dry cleaning bags remind me of when I had money. 20 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,802 Really? 21 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,347 They remind me of when my mother tried to suffocate me. 22 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,682 Allegedly. Let's go. 23 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,685 Wait, wait. Max, you can't go yet. 24 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,520 I need you to stay and help with something. 25 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,314 Han, I told you, it's bend and wipe, 26 00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:05,983 then up come your big boy pants. 27 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,400 Yeah, Han's right. You can't go. 28 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,819 Stay here a few more minutes. 29 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:13,783 Why? Oh, are we having an intervention for Max? 30 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,700 (POLISH ACCENT) Hey, everybody. 31 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,286 Oh, I hope I'm not late 32 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,206 for Max's first day of school surprise party. 33 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,334 Sophie, we hadn't surprised her yet. 34 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:27,587 Oh, but she's right there. You just blew it, Han. 35 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:32,091 Oh, a surprise party. Isn't this sweet, Max? 36 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,218 I don't trust it. 37 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,804 Last time Oleg yelled "surprise" at me, 38 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,305 his penis was on a hot dog bun. 39 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,435 One meat lover's pizza. 40 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,728 And one meat lover. 41 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,981 Max, come on. Get it while it's hot. 42 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,359 You're opening that box. 43 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:53,906 Oh, who's got a ten to tip the cute pizza delivery guy? 44 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,283 Sophie, this is Luis, the day waiter. 45 00:01:56,408 --> 00:02:01,037 Oh, you're Sophie, Oleg's ex. 46 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,790 Sister, I know all about you. 47 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,334 Oh, do you? 48 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,211 Do you know all about me? 49 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,673 I'm his good friend. 50 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,133 You know, I'm having trouble hearing your accent. 51 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,137 Did you say "good friend" or "girlfriend"? 52 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,848 Please, mami. I wish. 53 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,891 I like the entertainment. 54 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,102 It's better than the magician 55 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,603 at my friend Stephanie's 16th birthday 56 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,646 that made her virginity disappear. 57 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,109 Max, we're all so proud of you. 58 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,485 Tomorrow is the first day 59 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,278 -of the rest of your life. -Oh, crap. 60 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,614 I gotta do this again? 61 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,908 All right, but this time, I'm not seeing Trouble with the Curve. 62 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,120 You are about to do something very big. 63 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,497 Yes, she is. Such a big step. 64 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:44,747 Big step for both of us, 65 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,500 'cause I'll be using my business acumen 66 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,418 working in the office to help pay the tuition. 67 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,587 Sh! I'm talking about Max. 68 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,549 So we all chipped in to get you something 69 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,800 -for your first day of school. -It's my first day, too. 70 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:59,638 Caroline, please, I can't hear Han talking about Max, okay? 71 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:03,558 Here you go, darling, a book bag for school. 72 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,812 So what, then, is my surprise party after this one? 73 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,439 What is happening? 74 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,067 People doing nice things for me and smiling? 75 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,652 Am I transferring foster homes again? 76 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,073 And there's more stuff inside. 77 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,658 That was supposed to be a surprise, too. 78 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,329 Surprise! 79 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,706 Max, open it. Look inside. 80 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,209 Yeah, Max, see what's inside for your big day. 81 00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,628 Big day for Max. Big day for me as well. 82 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,256 A metrocard? No way. 83 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,508 From me. Unlimited rides. 84 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,554 Oh. Unlimited rides, is that what your tramp stamp says? 85 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,978 I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one. 86 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,062 Okay. 87 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,231 What's this, Han's house? 88 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,570 A simple thank you would suffice. 89 00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074 Thank you for your house, Han. 90 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,576 It's a pencil case, and I love it. 91 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,870 And I was sitting here, 92 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,372 thinking how you were all ignoring my part of the big day, 93 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,042 and then you give me this pencil case to use in the office 94 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,168 and prove me wrong. 95 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,336 That's for Max. 96 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,048 What the hell is wrong with you people? 97 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,759 Max doesn't even need pencils. She'll be baking. 98 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,639 Well, she'll be baked. Take a look. 99 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,016 Joints! 100 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,103 Earl, that's so sweet. 101 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,146 These should last me till recess. 102 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,942 Wait, where's the chef's coat Sophie had monogrammed? 103 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,903 Han, that was supposed to be a surprise. 104 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,406 Oh, I know. Karma's a bitch. 105 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,324 Oh, well. 106 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,992 -Look. -(GASPS) 107 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,911 My name's on this. 108 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,913 The only thing my name's ever been on before 109 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,707 is a urine sample. 110 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,836 Thank you, everyone. 111 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:57,005 So, there is nothing in that bag for me? 112 00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,132 Nothing? 113 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,343 Wow. I'd even take Oleg's penis in a hot dog bun right now. 114 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,016 I'll be right back. 115 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,396 -Getting on. -Please move. 116 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:14,773 -Getting on! -Please move. 117 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:15,899 -Getting on! -Please move! 118 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,360 -On! On! -Move! Move! 119 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,156 I love the subway. 120 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,158 It's the perfect place to get out aggression. 121 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,076 I just punched someone in the kidney. 122 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,954 -It was me. -I know. 123 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:33,834 Oh, oh, bad smell, like someone hooked up with a falafel. 124 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,209 It was me. 125 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:36,420 I know. 126 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:37,713 -Max. -Sorry. 127 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,757 Subways, planes, and mosh pits, I let it ride. 128 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,136 Oh, I love the smell of this fresh, dry-cleaned blouse. 129 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,971 I am so excited to be out of that waitress uniform, 130 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,891 and back in my chic business clothes, 131 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,641 and, you know, going to my office, 132 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:54,146 where I'll probably save the day using some of my Wharton magic. 133 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,355 You know, I think I like you better without hope. 134 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,610 Max, you know this school is expensive, right? 135 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:02,446 You're going in with a good attitude, right? 136 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,822 No, that's what Earl's pencils are for. 137 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,824 Don't worry, I'll do my best. 138 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,285 I mean, look, I have a book bag. 139 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,245 The only thing my mother ever sent me to school with 140 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,872 was a note that said, "Check me for lice." 141 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,250 It was so sweet of everyone to give you that, 142 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,502 even though I didn't sleep all night about it. 143 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,423 And it looks kind of expensive. Check for a designer label. 144 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,800 Why, it's the thought that counts. 145 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,425 Since when? 146 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,261 Let me see it. 147 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,471 ANNOUNCER: Second Avenue Station. 148 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,971 This is Second Avenue. 149 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,016 No, no, no, Max! No, he got the book bag. 150 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,894 Good, Max, good. Don't let go. 151 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,312 What if the train starts to leave and my arms pop off? 152 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,939 How will I go to pastry school? 153 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,649 I'll be one of those people decorating cookies 154 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:43,946 -with a bag in their mouth. -You are the devil. The devil! 155 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,656 We have nothing. 156 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,533 Pull, Max, pull! Pull it from the devil! 157 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,786 Can't. The devil works out. 158 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,209 My bag. 159 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,836 My blouse! 160 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,795 My weed! 161 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,050 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 162 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,802 Oh, great, look. Class has started. 163 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,971 My new life already blows. 164 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,432 Oh, look. There's Chef Gorgeous. 165 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,143 I don't want him to see me like this. 166 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,435 I'm gonna go to the restroom 167 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,687 and see if cold water can get out any of the stain. 168 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,437 Go, Max. 169 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,314 But I don't have my chef coat or book bag. 170 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,358 I know I only had them for a couple of hours, 171 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,694 but it was the best part of me. 172 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,237 You'll do great. 173 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,322 First, do me a favor. Check me for lice. 174 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,117 This course is designed 175 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,745 to introduce you to the skills and techniques required 176 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,454 in the production of yeast bread, 177 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,415 short pastry doughs, custards, 178 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,002 pâte à choux and cake batters. 179 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,545 Chef Max, you're late. 180 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,007 Wait, are you sure the class doesn't start at 10:17? 181 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,800 Sorry, I got robbed on the subway by some jerk. 182 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,553 Hey, hey, hey, I'm right here. 183 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,682 I ran out of options, and I didn't wanna strip 184 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,018 my way through pastry school. 185 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,603 That's an option? 186 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,607 All right, chefs. Let's focus. 187 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,942 Did he say he wants to "foke us"? 188 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,245 Good morning, Bebe. 189 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,872 Hi-- Oh, my God. What happened to you? 190 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,374 And I should tell you, my doctor says 191 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,211 I'm not allowed to hear bad news for another month. 192 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,338 I apologize for my appearance. 193 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:25,880 We got robbed on the subway, 194 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,673 and then someone hit me with hot coffee. 195 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,425 Then I went to wash cold water on the stain 196 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,929 and somehow wound up entering myself in a wet T-shirt contest. 197 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,097 Um... 198 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,433 That's a lot of energy for me, 199 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:41,480 so I'm just gonna need to sit here for a second and be quiet. 200 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,317 I know we're being quiet, which I'm all about, 201 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,652 but cute dogs. 202 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,653 Oh, thanks. They're cocker spaniels. 203 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:49,654 I rescue them. 204 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,657 You know, people rescue greyhounds and pit bulls, 205 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,951 but everyone ignores the cocker spaniel. 206 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,827 They're like, "Ew, eye goo. Shoot it." 207 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,164 I have three cockers. 208 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,625 Do you have any pets? 209 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:05,086 I have a horse, Chestnut, he's a thoroughbred. 210 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,177 Well, what can I do first? 211 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,599 What's this? Why am I holding a juice menu? 212 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,684 Every day, we get fresh-pressed juice 213 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:20,977 for the students and the staff. 214 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,229 What a treat. 215 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:25,399 Fresh juice is such a scam unless someone else is paying. 216 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,234 I'll take the greens number three. 217 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,195 Uh-huh, well, put it on the list when you get the other ones. 218 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,239 Wait, I'm supposed to get the juice? 219 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,866 Oh, boy, it's like I'm a bad news machine. 220 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:38,995 Oh. Okay. 221 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,205 Happy to do it. 222 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,873 Surprised, but happy. 223 00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,378 Maybe I could change into one of those cute chef jackets. 224 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:50,256 Oh, Chef Nicholas only permits pastry chefs to wear these. 225 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,384 But I can't meet everyone on my first day 226 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,384 looking like this. 227 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,846 I mean, it's already bad enough I'm the juice girl. 228 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,222 I have some workout clothes you can wear. 229 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,308 Don't worry. I haven't worn them yet. 230 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,144 But I will someday. 231 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:08,734 Hi. 232 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:11,403 Hi, everyone, I'm here to take the fresh juice orders 233 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,155 and also to say this is not what I came to work in. 234 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,991 What I came to work in had less eyes. 235 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:18,951 Caroline, welcome. 236 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,495 How is it going in the office, so far? 237 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,124 So great, and so not what I came to work in. 238 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:27,043 I'm usually wearing Chanel, not le chien. 239 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,544 That's dog in French. 240 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,380 Oh, 'cause it's dork in English. 241 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,677 Well, it is lovely to see both of your faces. 242 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,306 Class, we start with the basics. No, no, no, 243 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,932 -you in the back.... -Juice, miss? 244 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,436 Care for a juice from someone who scored 1560 on her SATs? 245 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,272 You can score more than 500? 246 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,399 Why the hell are you wearing that? 247 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,153 I didn't think your chest could get any sadder. 248 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,029 It's Bebe's. 249 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,948 Max, taking juice orders is not what I came here to do. 250 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,826 I hear you. I'll have the ruby red. 251 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,330 I always keep the edge clean, so when I'm squeezing it, 252 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:06,457 it's not gonna have cream popping all over the place. 253 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,878 Words to live by. 254 00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,589 I have the opposite problem. 255 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,051 Yo, my cream's popping right now. 256 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:18,677 What are you doing? 257 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,514 You told me you were gonna take school seriously. 258 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,765 It's not me. That guy's a bad influence. 259 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:23,642 Look at him. 260 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,852 He looks like someone who sells drugs on Sesame Street. 261 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,941 You're gonna get in trouble, and I am not wearing 262 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,360 a cocker spaniel so you can get kicked out of class. 263 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,486 Right. I hear you. Now, where's my juice? 264 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,240 Hey, Chef Max, check out my technique. 265 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:40,991 (MAKES FLATULENCE SOUND) 266 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,663 Awesome gross sound bonus. 267 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:51,168 Chef, if you find this so funny, why don't you take a fiver? 268 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,546 Isn't this how your saying goes? 269 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,923 I don't have a saying, but if I did, 270 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,466 it'd be more like, "Eatin' ain't cheatin'." 271 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,432 Anyone else who finds something hilarious 272 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,184 can also go into the hall. 273 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,312 -Chef Max? -Nope, nothing "ilarious". 274 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,355 Teach on. 275 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,441 Enough with the dirty jokes. 276 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,152 We're all here to become master bakers. 277 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:20,322 Master-baking is something I work really hard at it. 278 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:23,618 -To be a master baker-- -I'll be in the hall. 279 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,418 Hi, I'm Deke. 280 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,211 -Did you say freak? -Deke. 281 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,337 Did you say geek? 282 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,008 Deke, as in "Big Deke." 283 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,888 Mine's bigger. 284 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,267 We should be lab partners. 285 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:51,354 Come on, it'll be bitchin'. Max and Deke, making cakes. 286 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,732 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, with a special performance by Creed. 287 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,192 (MAKES GUITAR SOUNDS) 288 00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,818 Okay, now stop, stop, stop. 289 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,403 I am trying to be a good student, 290 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:02,407 so you just stay away from me, you're a bad influence. 291 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,451 I know I nailed that speech 'cause kids at school 292 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:05,951 used to say it to me all the time. 293 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,077 (ALARM BEEPS) 294 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,998 -Time to change your tampon? -Yep. 295 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,583 Day two, serious flow. 296 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:17,004 Killer Fanny Pack. Where's your tribal poncho? 297 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,965 Ah, keep my needles in this. 298 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,091 You're a drug addict, too? 299 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,511 God! You are irresistible. 300 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,806 It's, uh, it's insulin. I'm a diabetic. 301 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:29,017 A diabetic pastry chef. 302 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,394 Wow, you're even more self-destructive than me. 303 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,523 So, diabetes, how is that? 304 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,399 Disappointing. I put in for syphilis. 305 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,028 Stop laughing. 306 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:43,572 I have to carry 27 juices two blocks wearing this. 307 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,369 Why do you let the dog lady talk to you like that? 308 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,746 She's my friend, even in that shirt. 309 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,004 Well, there goes another $12. 310 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,048 I have spent more money dry cleaning this blouse 311 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,884 than I have on health care. 312 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,719 Health care? 313 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,013 You mean that box of Band-Aids we got at the 99-cent store? 314 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,599 I just have to look good tomorrow. 315 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,559 Today was mortifying. 316 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,270 They called me "Sad dog" at the juice place. 317 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,357 "Sad dog, your juices are ready." 318 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,778 Sad dog, pick up. 319 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,157 Can you take these to table ten? I'm backed up on the booth. 320 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,158 Can you? I'm kind of just sitting here a minute... 321 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,995 ...enjoying not being told what to do. 322 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,081 I get enough of it at that school. 323 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,165 Look! 324 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,043 If you're gonna do the martyr thing, 325 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,211 do it right. 326 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,712 Stick your hand in boiling oil 327 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:40,838 or even more painful, 328 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:43,008 binge-watch Shahs of Sunset on Bravo. 329 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,719 I need to talk to you in the kitchen now. 330 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,847 Leave, someone's about to get schooled about school. 331 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,892 This looks like it's going to get dirty and ugly. 332 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,936 May I film it? 333 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,273 And if so, may I then sell it on the Internet? 334 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,275 Look. 335 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,236 -You can't just do this for me. -You're right. So, we're out? 336 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,990 No, we're not out, you said you were gonna do this for me. 337 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,241 I know but you just said I can't just do it for you, 338 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,994 and I agree. 339 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,788 -I mean, who was I kidding? -Me. You were kidding me. 340 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,125 I went in there thinking I was gonna use my business skills, 341 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,251 and whatever hope I had of a flirtation 342 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,919 with Frenchie McFrench went out the window 343 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,547 when he saw me wearing that T-shirt that said, 344 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,466 "Don't forget to spay and neuter me." 345 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,469 -Fine, I can quit. It's fine. -It is, really? 346 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,428 No, it's not fine! 347 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,682 -Who am I kidding? -Me. You were kidding me. 348 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,643 Well, you've gotta figure out something there 349 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,602 to keep you interested because you can't go to pastry school 350 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,730 just for me, and I'm not gonna not go to pastry school for you. 351 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,775 Okay. You're right, Max. Of course I'll do it for you. 352 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,070 I just had a bad day. I mean, we both did. 353 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:47,864 You lost your man's briefcase and your drugs, 354 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,990 and I lost my dignity and a possible love interest. 355 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,663 Surprise! 356 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,164 See, that's how it's supposed to go. 357 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,793 -We got you a new book bag. -Yeah, and a new chef's jacket. 358 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,796 And a switchblade. 359 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:07,384 Yeah, 'cause we're not buying another chef's jacket. 360 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,802 Max, you know what this means? 361 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,179 That I got two surprises, and you got nothing? 362 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,767 No, that everything's gonna work out at that school. 363 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,644 I mean, in the blink of an eye, just like this, 364 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,604 things can change from bad to good. 365 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:20,897 Well, not totally good. 366 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,481 They still haven't gotten me anything. 367 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,485 Caroline, you didn't not get anything. 368 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,446 Here, your very own pencil case. 369 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,990 But no pencils. 370 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,909 My pencil dealer got busted. 371 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,706 Oh. Thank you, guys. 372 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,750 I'm touched. I was not expecting it. 373 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:41,835 Really? 374 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,504 'Cause you kind of bullied us all into it. 375 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,384 So that's a 780 on verbal, 376 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,635 and a 780 on math. 377 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,221 And with my degree in finance, 378 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,389 jackass-ing around the city getting juice 379 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,100 could be seen as a waste of my talents. 380 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,436 And as the valedictorian at my graduation said, 381 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,980 and I'm stealing from myself here... 382 00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:09,362 "I've seen the future of finance... and it's us." 383 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,946 So you want me to get the juices? 384 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,574 Just for today, please? 385 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,457 Meringue cookies are a simple way to practice 386 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,040 our pastry bag technique. 387 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,919 Interesting technique you got going there, chef. 388 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,212 Dude, we gotta ditch these deadbeat partners. 389 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,923 I'm stuck over there with grandma. 390 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,300 No, I'm staying with the big guy next to me. 391 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,385 He's not gonna get me in trouble. He never talks. 392 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,386 Get outta here. 393 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,763 Go back to your own table, Fat Albert. 394 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,223 Okay. I'm going back. 395 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,309 And the "Fat Albert" thing was 'cause I'm black, 396 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,853 not fat, right? 397 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,897 'Cause I go to the gym two, three times a year. 398 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,232 I hear talking, but no baking up front. 399 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,401 No, no, no, you only hear baking. 400 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:51,570 Just furiously master-baking up here. 401 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,032 The meringue needs to have nice peaks. 402 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,826 You are looking to make moist, pointy peaks. 403 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,328 I like to pinch them. 404 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,875 Chef, seriously, man-to-man, 405 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,626 we got a problem. 406 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,336 I don't think Max should be stuck with that big guy. 407 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,880 He's not cool. 408 00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,381 I was just over there, 409 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,884 and the only pointy peaks he's interested in are hers. 410 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,803 Talkin' boobies here, chef. 411 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,347 Chef John, Chef Deke here seems to think 412 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,098 you are sexually harassing Max. 413 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,643 (EFFEMINATELY) Oh, please. 414 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,939 If I was harassing anyone, it would be you, chef. 415 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,356 I mean, come on. 416 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,030 -Be right back, Big Mary. -You know it. 417 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,952 Where's my juice? It's been an hour. 418 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,788 The mood swing elf is getting them. 419 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,998 Look, I'm coming in there to flirt with Chef Nicholas, 420 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,708 and when I enter, I need you to say, 421 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,752 "Caroline, you look amazing." 422 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,381 No. 423 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,590 I actually physically can't say that. 424 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:54,925 I would rather walk in there and yell, 425 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,304 "I have crabs, and three of them just escaped." 426 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,515 Call 911. Call 911. 427 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,476 Something's happened to the adorable mixed-race one. 428 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:04,769 Deke? 429 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,605 He's diabetic. He needs insulin. 430 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,606 Has anyone here ever administered a needle? 431 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,734 Administer means the same thing as "shove it in," right? 432 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,820 Good, good, good, Max. Come, come, come. 433 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,739 Okay, uh, his syringes are in his fanny pack. 434 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,866 I've actually never done this without Iron Maiden 435 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,910 playing in the background, but I'll give it a shot. 436 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,204 Just put it anywhere in my hot bod. 437 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,332 God help us. 438 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,417 Oh, I hate needles. I can't look. 439 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,919 (BOTH GASP) 440 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,133 Get it together, ladies. 441 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,845 This is why I'm not allowed to hold babies. 442 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,348 Max, I think you and Deke should be lab partners 443 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:46,560 from now on, in case something like this happens again. 444 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,521 -Is that okay? -I guess if I have to. 445 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:50,647 Max? 446 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,733 I guess if I have to. 447 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,777 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 448 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,947 What, did you not take your insulin on purpose? 449 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,157 I really wanted to be your partner. 450 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,203 Bebe, I can't find a chef jacket anywhere in here. 451 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,123 And I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to wear one, 452 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,375 but I'm really cold, and I can't walk around like this all day. 453 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,836 Maybe I can help. 454 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,422 You can't stand there wet and cold. 455 00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,758 -Take my jacket. -Oh, no, no, no. 456 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,093 You don't have to-- Oh, that'll work. 457 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,596 I'm sorry about the no shirt under, 458 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,640 but I just get so hot when I'm teaching. 459 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,599 Yeah, hot. So hot. 460 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,311 (EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH) 461 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,940 I was just giving it to Caroline. 462 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,608 I mean, she needs something to wear, and... 463 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,068 And now, she has it. 464 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,945 Chef, I will see you later. 465 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,073 Caroline.... 466 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,867 Max, I think I found something to keep me interested. 467 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:46,746 This is weird. 468 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,038 So, I'm the good student now, 469 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,165 and you're the one sleeping with the teacher? 470 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,002 We're not sleeping together. Why, do you think he wants to? 471 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,213 I don't know, 472 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,633 but you better hurry it up before Big Mary gets him. 473 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,553 (CASH REGISTER DINGS) 474 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,996 (English US - SDH)