1 00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,419 Thank you, everyone, for staying late 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,463 to learn our new iPad order system. 3 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:05,756 We had no choice. 4 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,966 You locked the door from the outside. 5 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,095 Either way, we're learning. 6 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,015 Han, why would we update our order system 7 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,016 when our uniforms are from the 1970s 8 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,936 and our paycheck is from the 1800s? 9 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,814 Let's get to the tutorial. 10 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,065 Max, you and I are going to role-play. 11 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,777 All right, you can be the little bitch and I'll be me. 12 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,903 I don't need this lesson. 13 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,157 I'm very familiar with the touch screen. 14 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,826 Let's just say I put the "goo" in Google. 15 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,079 I'm going to pretend I'm a customer 16 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,621 and order a hamburger. 17 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,917 Hello, Miss. I'll have a hamburger. 18 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,878 Certainly, Miss. 19 00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,593 Would you like that with or without Salmonella? 20 00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:55,305 Han, I got my first lesson on the iPad from Steve Jobs 21 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,725 and now I'm getting it from Han Jobs? 22 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,268 Caroline, don't act like you know more 23 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,436 about gadgets than me. 24 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,189 Formerly rich doesn't beat currently Asian. 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,528 Now, come on, everyone look at their iPads. 26 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,198 What iPad? I didn't see an iPad. 27 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,117 What? No. 28 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,786 Did somebody say something about an iPad? 29 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,620 What the hell is an iPad? 30 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,793 -Where did they all go? -I'm guessing eBay. 31 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,337 I want them all back, especially mine. 32 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,591 I'm in a casual flirtation with a woman in Australia. 33 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,262 She's part aboriginal, but has a great personality. 34 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,645 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 35 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:43,978 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 36 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,572 Here you go, Earl. 37 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,825 Max, what's wrong? You seem happy. 38 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,870 I'm just still on a high 39 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:03,123 from this $10,000 bank loan I got last week. 40 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:07,418 And from an almost certainly laced pot brownie I ate in 2004. 41 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,296 I can't believe you and Caroline 42 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,049 got a bank loan for your cupcake business 43 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,342 and not a single hostage was involved. 44 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:20,098 Max, you don't have $10,000. You don't even have Netflix. 45 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,561 This money is to pay a factory to make our cupcake T-shirts 46 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,603 and I've whittled it down to three. 47 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,274 -Hello. -Speaking of whittled. 48 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,193 Someone used my printer 49 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,403 and I'm guessing it's Caroline because it's about business 50 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,990 and not another one of Earl's Angela Bassett collages. 51 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,536 What can I say, man? I'm a Bassett hound. 52 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,206 Thanks, Han. These are the factories I've been researching. 53 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,417 We want our T-shirts to be American made. 54 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,335 I have an American maid 55 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,129 and all she's good at is eating my granola bars. 56 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,550 Look, Max, I found one right here in Brooklyn. 57 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,759 "American Ace. 58 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,635 The founder, Ace Hardwick, is devoted 59 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,179 to treating his workers well." 60 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:01,973 And not in a creepy way like that American Apparel guy. 61 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,433 So you're saying none of these workers 62 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,977 have ever found an ace in their hole? 63 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,231 Look, I've worked in a lot of factories. 64 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,067 I know what goes on. 65 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,943 I worked in a coat factory, 66 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,822 which is why my lungs are coated in asbestos. 67 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,990 I worked in an underwear factory, 68 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:22,118 where I was underpaid for the fruits of my looms. 69 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,747 And worst factory of all, The Cheesecake Factory. 70 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,543 How about we do a walk-through tomorrow 71 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,045 to make sure it's up to snuff? 72 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,337 Well, if they have snuff, 73 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,631 why are we waiting until tomorrow? 74 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,508 Hey, everybody. 75 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,180 Hi, great news. 76 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,558 I just got carded at Buffalo Wild Wings. 77 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,062 Really? I got carted out of there once. 78 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,274 And more great news. 79 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,985 I'm starting my own new business. 80 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,614 So girls, you know how you have that $10,000? 81 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,241 Well, I don't wanna clean you out, 82 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,954 But how do you feel about tossing me $9,500? 83 00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:09,917 You two should invest. Sophie's business is genius. 84 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,710 You know how a bunch of ladies got 85 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:15,171 their down-there-hair permanently lasered off? 86 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,759 Yeah, that's when your waxer gives you a Michael Chiklis. 87 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,262 Well, Sophie's offering a product 88 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,723 that puts grass back on your field. 89 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,812 That's not a business. That's nobody's business. 90 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,355 Yeah, I don't do any of that stuff. 91 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,401 I just throw a scrunchie on mine and go. 92 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,444 Hey, there's a need for this. 93 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,947 Sometimes in the fog, 94 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,449 my plane gets lost without a landing strip. 95 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:45,869 We're out. 96 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,454 Don't decide yet, girls. 97 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,707 You haven't even heard the cute, little name. 98 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,836 "Sophie Kuchenksi's Vagina Wigs!" 99 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,882 Yeah, we're really out. 100 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,802 But it's a quality product 101 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,971 and it's real hair imported from Va-China. 102 00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:08,975 Yeah, never been further out. 103 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,440 And this is our main floor. 104 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,192 Wow! This is amazing. 105 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,987 I feel like we're in the Willy Wonka Factory. 106 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,572 I know, right? 107 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,910 The American Ace motto is "Work is fun." 108 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,620 Max was expecting a different kind of factory. 109 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,372 More torture, less foosball. 110 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:36,211 I know, right? Not at American Ace. 111 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,754 And what is your position here, Peggy? 112 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,090 Are you the "I know, right?" person? 113 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,593 (CHUCKLING) I know, right? 114 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:47,473 No, I'm one of the owners. Also, I dye T-shirts. 115 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,932 See, every employee gets a percentage of the company 116 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,018 after six months, 117 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,853 so the longer you stay, the more it grows. 118 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,314 We've been at the diner four years 119 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,691 and the only thing we've seen grow is Oleg's pants. 120 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:00,778 I know, right? 121 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,701 Well, Ace is expecting you. Go ahead, go have fun. 122 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,081 Hey, don't be fooled by what's on the surface. 123 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,499 You look like you have money, 124 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,625 but I know your underwear's in shreds. 125 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,668 Not shreds, Max, shred. 126 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,463 Just one, it goes from front to back. 127 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,259 Um, hi. Should we just come in? The door is open. 128 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,720 Yep, always is. 129 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,680 Doors create boundaries. Boundaries are a bummer. 130 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:34,019 -You know what else is a bummer? -Tall guys with small penises? 131 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,149 That you just missed the gelato and designer coffee cart. 132 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,444 Espresso hazelnut praline? 133 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:46,572 -We're not here for gelato. -We're not, not here for gelato. 134 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,742 Awesome. It's awesome to meet you. 135 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:50,827 I'm Ace Hardwick. 136 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,706 Look, Ace, we're not about to give you $10,000 137 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,415 so you can take advantage of a sad, 138 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,668 underage girl worker near the loading docks 139 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,295 because her boobs are crazy big 140 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,797 and she needs a ride home. 141 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,173 That's a for instance. 142 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,134 I'm sorry? 143 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,553 See, Ace, Max has some trust issues 144 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:11,098 when it comes to factories, so we're here today to-- 145 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,141 You're pretty much eating cardboard there. 146 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,268 You want me to get you another? 147 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,978 You should see her with tuna cans. 148 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:22,151 Hey, I see the prosciutto cart. Who wants imported ham? 149 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,278 Me. 150 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,447 Well, we're not, not here for prosciutto. 151 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,701 -Hey, you know what's cool? -Short guys with big penises? 152 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,831 (LAUGHS) You're fun. 153 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,332 Your business belongs here at American Ace. 154 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,502 Come on, let's go meet the family. 155 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,504 That guy kind of creeps me out. 156 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,632 On the plus side, I finally get to meet my family. 157 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,511 I had this space designed 158 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,930 for open energy and open conversation. 159 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,973 What's up, other owners? 160 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,641 What's up, Ace? 161 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,519 Our sales by 400 percent. 162 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,273 (CHEERING) 163 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,110 Max, this is it. This is our factory. 164 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,446 CAROLINE: The employees look happy and successful. 165 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,740 So did the members of 'N Sync. 166 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,411 But behind the curtain, a veil of tears. 167 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,165 Hey, Caroline, here's the prosciutto cart. 168 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,957 Thanks, Ace. 169 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,629 Enjoy. I'm just gonna get a quick five-minute chair massage. 170 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,466 Come on, let's slip out 171 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,093 while Ace has got his head stuck in that chair's ass. 172 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,179 Hey, what's up? 173 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,807 Welcome to American Ace. I'm Rico. 174 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,061 You're, like, really, really, really pretty. 175 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,104 Aw. Oh! 176 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,942 So anyways, I'm part owner and I clean the bathroom. 177 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,986 Quick question: Do you have a light Cabernet? 178 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,822 Quicker question: 179 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,951 Where's the secret room with the toddler slaves? 180 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:59,121 What's up? I'm Raul, part owner and security guard. 181 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,332 Hey, you two wanna grab a drink sometime? 182 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,919 Fridays after work, we all hang next door at Tortilla Flats. 183 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,131 Tortilla Flat. Wasn't that your stripper name? 184 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,802 You're just jealous because mine's taller 185 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,639 and thinks I'm really, really, really pretty. 186 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,015 Good luck with that tall guy scenario. 187 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,524 Sorry we're late, but we were busy with our other business, 188 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,899 the one we care about. 189 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,860 How can I be mad 190 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,446 with that sincere, heartfelt apology? 191 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,075 Who wants to see our sample T-shirts? 192 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:38,077 I want to see it, but I want to see a lot of things. 193 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,788 But with these damn cataracts, 194 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,206 the best I can do is look towards it 195 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,293 and get a milky idea. 196 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,004 Hey, girls. 197 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,255 I want to show you some of my new styles 198 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,216 for my "Everybody's Merkin For The Weekend" collection. 199 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,052 Sophie, what's a merkin? 200 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,971 It's a vagina wig. 201 00:09:58,639 --> 00:09:59,932 That's dirty. 202 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,105 And Han, I'm gonna need your input 203 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,566 because I'm working on an Asian line. 204 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,235 Shouldn't Han grow some hair on his 205 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,029 before he starts tossing out advice? 206 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,450 Han, I need to know if I got the texture right, 207 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,451 so come over here. 208 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:25,417 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that feels nice. 209 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:31,630 Yeah, nice and thick between my fingers. 210 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,344 -Oh, yeah. -Slower. 211 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:39,764 Slower still. 212 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,644 This is like watching your gerbil hump a pencil. 213 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,277 Not really sexual, but still grosses you out. 214 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,697 Sophie, I think you should stop. 215 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,450 I haven't felt this sensation since third grade 216 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,369 when Madam Yi checked me for head lice. 217 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,456 Remind me to pick up 218 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,082 a "What's Happening To My Body?" book 219 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,125 for Han tomorrow. 220 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,796 Girls, I'll be over here, 221 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,130 working on my African-American line. 222 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,052 Yeah, I can't decide whether to call it a "Vag-afro" 223 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,889 or a "Pube-a Gooding, Jr." 224 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,730 Max, look. These shirts look amazing. 225 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:32,317 Well, I guess I was wrong about the factory. 226 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,317 Like I was wrong about you 227 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:34,945 making it through that first winter. 228 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,657 Look, there's a note in here. 229 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,451 It's probably from Rico. He's obsessed with me. 230 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,121 Yeah, it's not from him. It says, "Help us." 231 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,290 Underpaid workers are trapped in that factory, I knew it! 232 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,086 Once again, I was fooled by ice cream. 233 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,090 Yes, it's a note that says, "help us," 234 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,134 but if there's one thing I learned in business school, 235 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,594 it's if you don't see it, it doesn't exist. 236 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:05,267 Look, as much as we want to, we can't just look away. 237 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,436 We need to talk to the workers. 238 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,270 Call the guy, the one who thinks you're pretty. 239 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,730 I don't know who you're talking about. 240 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,899 I only met a guy who thought I was really, really, 241 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,317 really pretty. 242 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,195 We can meet them at that Mexican place. 243 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,405 Ooh, a Mexican place. 244 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,408 I forgot about the Latina market. 245 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,870 Girls, when you're there, 246 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,246 find out if they'd be interested in some hair 247 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,206 south of the border. 248 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,671 Didn't know if you ladies wanted beers or margaritas 249 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,380 so we got you beer-garitas. 250 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,716 It's $5, but you're worth it. 251 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,636 I love a girl with a healthy appetite. 252 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,597 Well, you're gonna be getting down on one knee 253 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,140 by the end of the appetizers. 254 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,894 So let's just dive right in. 255 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,437 How's factory life treating you? 256 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,647 Give us the skinny which is what I hope you said 257 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,065 when you ordered those beer-garitas, 258 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,400 because I cannot be poor with a muffin top. 259 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,861 You know, I don't want to talk about work. 260 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,572 Are you saying you're not allowed to talk about work? 261 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,241 Your words, we all heard you, Rico or Raul. 262 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,370 Hey, tell me, what do you girls like to do? 263 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,873 I like to watch waiters make guacamole at my table. 264 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,207 When's that gonna happen? 265 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,294 -So about work-- -Yeah, okay. 266 00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:18,088 Hey, let's go see what's going on in beer-garitaville. 267 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,928 What are we gonna do? I can't get any information out of Rico. 268 00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:27,057 He's so preoccupied with how pretty, pretty, pretty I am. 269 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,934 Oh, hi, Peggy. How are you? 270 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,062 Would you like to join us and talk about work? 271 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,480 Why don't we talk about you two skanks 272 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,024 getting the hell out of here? 273 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,153 And I thought we were bad waitresses. 274 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,865 This is Carmen. She works at the factory too. 275 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,994 We're BFFs, and she's one of the owners, like me. 276 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:52,999 Yeah, and she's a 100 percent owner of Rico, so hands off! 277 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:57,169 We see you two sitting over here like you're God's frigging gift. 278 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,173 I know, right? 279 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,674 And not for nothing 280 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,928 but Rico's pit bull doesn't like other girls. 281 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,517 I'm guessing that's his pit bull. 282 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,524 And you, hands off Raul. 283 00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:22,028 We have a love that is deep and real, 284 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,947 and when he finds out about it, it's gonna be magic. 285 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,913 Yup. 286 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,125 Exactly what I expected. 287 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,461 Upstairs is Willy Wonka's factory 288 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,213 and down here, they're waterboarding Oompa Loompas. 289 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,884 Yo, what's up? We just coming here 290 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,306 to work in the dye room right there as per usual. 291 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:53,559 (WITH ACCENT) Yeah, no biggie. What yous twos looking at? 292 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,273 That was a really good accent. 293 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,482 Thanks. I played Rizzo in Grease. 294 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,775 Should have been Sandy, 295 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,528 but I let the girl with the limp have it. 296 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,240 Come on. We have to put these on and go into the dye room 297 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,409 because I'm guessing that's where it all goes down. 298 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,077 The dye room, I'm not surprised. 299 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,705 I always knew we'd dye together. 300 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,751 Okay. We'll just pretend to be working here 301 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,836 like we do at the diner. 302 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,840 Well, well, look who it is, 303 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,677 stuck-up and stuck-up two: The legend returns. 304 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,432 Max, we gotta go. My life can't end wearing grey. 305 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,725 What up, ladies? 306 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,019 Last night, you're hanging with the homies 307 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,437 and today, boom, 308 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,774 you just happen to be working here. 309 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:44,653 -That's frigging convenient. -I know, right? 310 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:48,822 -Very frigging convenient. -I know, right? 311 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,743 We just have to show them who's boss. 312 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,287 You know, like we do with the mouse who lives in our toaster. 313 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:57,915 So, what, we're gonna scream and then spray Windex at them? 314 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,379 Yo. See this scar? 315 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,340 Knife fight with five Catholic schoolgirls 316 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,548 over a slushie. 317 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,134 So unless you want some of what I gave Virginia, 318 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:12,013 Stephanie, Laquetia, Latoya and the one in the wheelchair, 319 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:13,807 I'd stay clear. 320 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:19,019 This is just a misunderstanding. Rico's not interested in me. 321 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,105 Well, he seemed pretty into you last night. 322 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,774 Yeah, but that's before she talked. 323 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:29,154 Come on, we are not interested in your men at all. 324 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:32,283 Not at all. I mean, come on. 325 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,493 What's that mean? 326 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,870 You're saying something's wrong with them? 327 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:39,665 No, she's not saying that. It's just-- 328 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,335 It's just what? 329 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,754 We're lovers. 330 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,844 You two are lovers? 331 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,556 -Because you don't seem-- -We don't seem what? Gay? 332 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,808 No. Hot enough. 333 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,563 -Well... -Not hot at all. 334 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,691 I know, right? 335 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,318 Look busy, keep your eyes open. 336 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,446 I think we're in the belly of the beast. 337 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,948 You talking about me? 338 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,867 -No. -No. 339 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,125 Max, what do you think's behind that locked door? 340 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,253 I knew it! Toddler slaves! 341 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,508 Those kids are in horrible danger of becoming me. 342 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,804 Come on. Let's go over there. 343 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,641 What the-- You hit me. 344 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,684 Sorry, so sorry. Accident. 345 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,229 You throw like a girl. 346 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,106 See, I knew it, you two aren't gay. 347 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,402 -Yous are after our guys! -No, I'm not. 348 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,738 Rico just thought I was really, really, really pretty. 349 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:57,701 Oh, hell no! Leave my lover alone! 350 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,123 It's on! 351 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,460 No, no, no. It's not on. 352 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,377 This is silly. We're not after anyone. 353 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,962 We're here to help some of those work-- 354 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,884 Oh, yeah. Now, it's on! 355 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,429 I warn you! 356 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,223 (SCREAMING) 357 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,058 Hell, no! 358 00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:29,317 -Back off, bitch! -Who you calling bitch, bitch? 359 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:37,575 Honey? You're getting carried away. 360 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,453 Now you're really getting carried away. 361 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:42,830 No. Don't put me in the dryer. 362 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,250 I used to be rich, I'm dry clean only. 363 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,430 That was a big frigging mistake! 364 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:05,811 Respect. 365 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,105 You two are a lot tougher 366 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,691 than those girls from St. Bridget's. 367 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,777 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 368 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,405 -What's happening? -We're busting you. 369 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,199 We know what's happening here. 370 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,910 What, profit sharing and health care? 371 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:25,832 We found a note in our box with "help us" scrawled on it. 372 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,125 How do you explain that? 373 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,710 Did you read the back? 374 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,462 "Help us... 375 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,299 help you... 376 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:39,095 to your full potential at American Ace". 377 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,598 We put one in every box we ship. 378 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,392 I have got to start reading more than 379 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:45,684 the first sentence of stuff. 380 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,775 I'm sorry, this is all my fault. 381 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,109 I guess I just wanted to believe 382 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,778 some kids were having a worse childhood than I was. 383 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,074 Max, don't feel bad. 384 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,117 You thought someone needed help and you cared 385 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,537 and that makes you a good person, and I'm proud of you. 386 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,873 I said I was sorry. You don't have to be mean. 387 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,917 Hey, everybody. 388 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,380 I just got my first shipment of wigs. 389 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,428 Sophie, why are you walking like that? 390 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,263 Well, I'm not just the president, 391 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,516 I'm also a client. 392 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,816 Sophie, I think you dropped something. 393 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,443 unless we have those giant Persian roaches again. 394 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,824 Even a milky version of that was too much. 395 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,125 You know, Max, maybe someday, 396 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,586 someone like you will come into this Salmonella factory 397 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,003 and rescue us. 398 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,713 What are you writing on those checks? 399 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,132 "Help us." 400 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:02,428 We work here. The "help us" is implied. 401 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,432 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 402 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,853 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 403 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,874 (English US - SDH)