1
00:00:01,544 --> 00:00:02,628
Care for a cupcake?

2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,673
Well, our new
outdoor seating area

3
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,509
is about as popular
as Paula Deen at an NBA game.

4
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,929
How much longer do we have
to be out here?

5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:17,100
We are cold.
So, so cold.

6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,144
I can see my breath.

7
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,896
And my boys are up
by my rib cage.

8
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,609
I can smell his breath.

9
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,864
And my boys are up
by where my boys used to be.

10
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,701
And these customers
aren't helping.

11
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,036
How could we have thought
a strong Han presence

12
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,789
would make it more popular?

13
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,374
Max, in hindsight,

14
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,293
it feels like us not springing
for those heat lamps

15
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:44,712
was a bad call.

16
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,630
You think?

17
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:51,051
Guys, I just peed a little
to keep warm.

18
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:58,475
Well, I peed a little
'cause I had no choice.

19
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,896
Great, they're stuck
to the bench.

20
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,109
Go get the windshield scraper.

21
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,697
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

22
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,031
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

23
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,625
Reading Us Weekly, Earl?

24
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,085
Ooh,
"Stars. They're just like us."

25
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,379
Well, if they're just like us,
where's the picture of them

26
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,088
turning their underwear
inside out?

27
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,596
Caroline left it
in the men's room.

28
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,140
And as I said that out loud,

29
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,685
I realized that I must have been
in the ladies' room.

30
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,979
I can't see, Max.

31
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,817
Max, I've got
some exciting news.

32
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,569
Eh, I vowed I'd never
get excited about anything again

33
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:53,531
after that last Indiana Jones.

34
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,367
I found us two discount
heat lamps on Sherry's list.

35
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,662
It's like Craigslist,
but without the high probability

36
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,331
of being murdered
by a deranged medical student.

37
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,709
And about those lamps?
Uh, no.

38
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,753
We can't worry
about our outdoor business.

39
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,629
We barely have
an indoor business.

40
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,341
And we never will,
with that attitude.

41
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,050
I'm gonna ask you one more time.

42
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,427
Please listen
to those Tony Robbins tapes

43
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,264
we found in the garbage.

44
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,724
Well, girls, tomorrow's the day

45
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,103
I've been looking forward to
for three years.

46
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,646
You're getting
your teeth cleaned?

47
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,900
Sorry, that's what
we've been looking forward to.

48
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,901
I'm moving in with Sophie.

49
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:35,489
From now on, the booty call
is coming from inside the house.

50
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:41,078
-I couldn't help but overhear.
-From way back there?

51
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,746
Your ears should give
a pep talk

52
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,081
to the other parts of your body.

53
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,043
And, Oleg, if you need any help
with the move,

54
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,878
might I offer my services?

55
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,463
My trainer Skylar says
I'm getting ripped.

56
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,675
Yeah, ripped off by Skylar.

57
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,305
Thanks, Han.
And as a bit of a payback,

58
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,473
I'll wash my hands
back here tonight.

59
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,393
See you later, neighbors.

60
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,562
Oleg's moving in?

61
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,771
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.

62
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,150
And I lost two billion dollars.

63
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,652
What is the problem?
This is all good news.

64
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,364
-Sophie an Oleg are in love.
-Yeah.

65
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,325
And they'll be in love
on our stairs,

66
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,286
in our hallway,

67
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:24,913
and on every surface
of the laundry room.

68
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,584
What do you know about love
anyway, Christian Single?

69
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:32,128
I know Jesus has a girl for me.

70
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,340
He has to.

71
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:37,343
I'm $400 deep
into that damn website.

72
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,180
Look, we just make a pact

73
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,973
that no matter
what happens upstairs,

74
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,266
or on the stairs
or in the laundry room,

75
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,394
we don't invite it
into our apartment.

76
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,396
Hey, everybody.

77
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,235
Oh! Brr!

78
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:57,820
It's raining cats
and goats out there.

79
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,199
Don't you mean
"cats and dogs"?

80
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,828
Oh, it's so nice to be corrected
as you walk in the door.

81
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,038
Hey, baby.

82
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:10,209
Can you believe in 24 hours
we'll be living in sin?

83
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:13,169
Oh, don't worry.
My parents don't know.

84
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,925
I'm having a dinner party
tomorrow night to celebrate.

85
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,802
And also because I have
15 pounds of beef

86
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,428
that's about to go bad.

87
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,307
So, Max, Caroline, are you in?

88
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,101
-Actually, Sophie, we're busy--
-We'll be there.

89
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,021
If there's beef involved,
I'm involved.

90
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,483
What happened to the pact
we just made?

91
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,110
I hate to tell you this,

92
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:39,862
if it comes down to you or beef,
I'm always going beef.

93
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,370
-(THUD
-(BABY CRYING)

94
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,122
(MAX LAUGHS)

95
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,668
That was Sherry
from Sherry's list.

96
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:53,961
She makes you call her that.

97
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,547
She said she's consider
charging us 150 dollars

98
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,215
if we pick up
the heat lamps ourselves.

99
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,841
And I'm charging you
with three counts

100
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:02,552
of interrupting this "Baby
in a Faulty High Chair" video.

101
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,471
-(THUD)
-(OLEG GROANS)

102
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,266
Ha, ha!
Someone fell in real life.

103
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,312
-OLEG: You told me you had it.
-HAN: I said I didn't have it.

104
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,649
It's Oleg and Han moving in.

105
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,108
Get away from the door.

106
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,860
Han will see your feet
under the door.

107
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,112
They're right at his eye level.

108
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:25,324
This is like a horror movie.
Saw III.

109
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:29,288
Because when Han bent over,
I saw three inches of his crack.

110
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,040
So you saw his whole crack?

111
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,209
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

112
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,295
-Step away.
-OLEG: Open the door, Max.

113
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:37,713
I'm about to kill Han

114
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,630
and I know you're gonna want
to see that.

115
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,132
Damn it. He's right.

116
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,930
Cute outfit, Han.

117
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,601
Like one of those male strippers
from No Thunder Down Under.

118
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:57,524
This is so heavy.
Oleg, what do you have in here?

119
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,817
Socks.

120
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,237
Really, Han,

121
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,947
it's like your arms
are only there for decoration.

122
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,786
To be fair,
Oleg's socks probably have

123
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,495
some pretty heavy loads in them.

124
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,250
Oleg, what is all your junk
doing out here?

125
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,045
Do I actually smell
girls screaming?

126
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,255
I bring things up,
Sophie says, "No."

127
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,882
I bring them right back down.

128
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:25,259
Is there no elevator up
in this bitch?

129
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:31,516
Oleg, you forgot your painting
and this one's a definite "No."

130
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:34,269
Sophie, I haven't gotten
a "Yes" yet,

131
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,146
aside from the quickie we had up
against the bathroom sink.

132
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,942
Not such a quickie.
They locked me out

133
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,901
and I had to eat my lunch
in the truck.

134
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,197
Then what was the point of me
renting a moving truck?

135
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,367
I mean, besides the rough sex
we had up against the sides?

136
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,495
They locked me outside
on the side of the road

137
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:53,997
for that one.

138
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,917
Okay, well,
we have to go back in.

139
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,961
See you tonight
at the beef-a-thon.

140
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,714
No, Oleg.
Maybe I'm being unfair.

141
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,552
I mean, you have all this stuff
that you like,

142
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:10,221
and they have an apartment.
Put it in there.

143
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,810
-Sophie.
-I'll see you at 8:00.

144
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,978
So, what do you say, girls?

145
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:19,105
-Absolutely not.
-Yes.

146
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,608
Max, there's a method
to my madness.

147
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,485
Oleg, will you excuse us
a second?

148
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,071
And maybe help Han
with that box.

149
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,074
In those shorts, I can
actually see a hernia happening.

150
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:33,954
I thought
we weren't getting involved.

151
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,582
If we help Oleg out, he'll let
us use the moving truck

152
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,168
-to pick up our heat lamps.
-I already said "No" to those.

153
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,254
-But we just talked about it.
-I wasn't listening.

154
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,593
That baby fell face-down
into mashed potatoes.

155
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,180
But you said "Yes"
to the dinner party,

156
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,182
so if you get your meat,
I get my heat.

157
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,228
Just because you rhyme
doesn't make it okay.

158
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,730
And I'm pretty sure
that's what Rihanna said

159
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,357
to Chris Brown.

160
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,447
Where are we meeting this chick
with the heat lamps?

161
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,408
I haven't gone this far
for something I didn't want

162
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,869
since Planned Parenthood
moved to New Jersey.

163
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,413
Hello. I'm getting
truck sick back here.

164
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,292
You're a worse driver
than people assume I am.

165
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,629
(HONKING HORN) Come on! Come on!
We're gonna be late to dinner.

166
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,632
Would any of you be interested

167
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,925
in playing rock-paper-scissors
for a seat up front?

168
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,302
No!

169
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,721
Girls, can I ask you
a relationship question?

170
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:34,972
No!

171
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,768
And besides, what would we know
about relationships?

172
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,144
That's like asking Donald Trump

173
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,937
for the name
of a good hairstylist.

174
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:43,565
I mean,
what's the deal with her?

175
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,067
She asks me to move in,

176
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,318
and then won't even let me
have my painting.

177
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,488
I mean,
Sophie already bought the cow.

178
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,115
She might as well
let the cow's crap in.

179
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,659
So you're saying I'm right.

180
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,495
No, no, but I do think--

181
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,745
No, you don't think,

182
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,706
or your mouth wouldn't be moving
right now.

183
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,875
I'm just saying,

184
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,001
he has the right
to move some of his stuff

185
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,922
into Sophie's apartment
and out of ours.

186
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,840
-(VIBRATING)
-Speaking of his stuff,

187
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,342
there's something in a box
back here is humming, and...

188
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,095
Oh, it stopped.

189
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:16,014
-(VIBRATING)
-Oh, it started again.

190
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:19,558
That's my lifelike mouth
with authentic jaw action.

191
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,186
Oleg, watch the road!

192
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,313
The last words I hear
can't be "lifelike mouth."

193
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,946
Everything looks very nice,
Sophie.

194
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:36,368
Yeah, see, I'm not gonna talk
until the other guests arrive.

195
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,914
I got to save my hostess sparkle
for the real guests.

196
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,544
-Hey, baby.
-Where the hell have you been?

197
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,755
That was a pretty loud sparkle.

198
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,509
It's my fault we're late,
Sophie--

199
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,010
It's okay. Just sit down.

200
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,971
Don't you want to know
what I was--

201
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,596
No, really.
I got a pot roast over here

202
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,515
that's a hell of a lot
more interesting.

203
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,312
Max, thank God you're here.

204
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,230
There was so much
awkward silence,

205
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,317
I pretended I got a phone call
from a banana.

206
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,945
I'm gonna take a quick shower.

207
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,740
Oh, Oleg, Dinner is ready.

208
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,743
You don't have time to run down
to the Y now.

209
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,288
No, I meant I would shower here.

210
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,332
Here?

211
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,378
In my bathroom?

212
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:33,674
Ah, yeah. I live here now.

213
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,763
Oh, yeah.
That's right.

214
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,514
Imagine that.

215
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,726
Hey, Oleg, why don't you
just come over here

216
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,062
and sit next to Earl?

217
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,145
Because he's old

218
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,648
and I'm sure
his smeller is shot.

219
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:54,821
Sophie, you really must write
a How To Entertain book.

220
00:10:56,447 --> 00:11:00,744
Here we go.
Grandma Chinski's pot roast.

221
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,537
This looks amazing.

222
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,163
I love a root vegetable
in the winter.

223
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:08,626
Can it ever just be about me?

224
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,509
Beef, beef, beef. (SCATTING)

225
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,928
What?
That's my beef song.

226
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,597
(CLINKS GLASS)

227
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,225
I'd like to make a toast
to Sophie.

228
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,477
Oh, that's sweet.

229
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,145
But not with that glass.

230
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,440
That's Grandma Chinski's
crystal.

231
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,692
Baby, I was in the middle
of a toast.

232
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:37,447
Oh, I'm sorry
but those are my favorite thing.

233
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:42,159
Grandma Chinski traded two
of my slow cousins for those.

234
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:49,167
Well, you know, it's funny.
I have a favorite thing too.

235
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,878
In fact, why don't I just go
and get it?

236
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,129
(GASPING)

237
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:56,424
I can't believe it.
I'm about to meet Loni Anderson.

238
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,845
Can someone help me
lift up my fork?

239
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,471
My arms are still sore
from the move.

240
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,099
Open up.

241
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:10,020
Someone else has to feed Han.
He just licked my pinky.

242
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,400
Earl, what are you doing
over there?

243
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,447
Just hanging out
with R&B sensation,

244
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,491
Mary J. Juana.

245
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,077
Oh, good.
So you're in the right mind-set

246
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,288
to hand-feed a 30-year-old man.

247
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,667
Oh, no, no, no.

248
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,753
I think that's Polish for "No."

249
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,340
Uh-huh.
Yes, Sophie. It's my painting.

250
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:42,095
Excuse me. Our painting.
And it's going up on our wall.

251
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:47,517
Is it me
or is this party tense as hell?

252
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:52,438
I don't think Sophie and Oleg
are gonna make it.

253
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,360
Uh-oh.
Am I talking out loud right now?

254
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,908
I told you,
I don't want that thing in here.

255
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,951
I don't understand.
It's just a painting.

256
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,452
What's so bad about it?

257
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,581
Oh, my God.

258
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,671
Nice, huh? I did it myself.
It's a paint-by-numbers.

259
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,508
You mean
it's a Putin-by-numbers.

260
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,052
Why are his nipples so big?

261
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,263
They don't seem that big to me.

262
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,975
Oh, I am too high for this.

263
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,647
I'm not high enough.

264
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:38,692
In my culture, big nipples mean
power and wealth.

265
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,446
In our culture,
big nipples means,

266
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,822
"Wears a T-shirt in the pool."

267
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,784
There. I like it.

268
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,748
Adds a certain something
to the room.

269
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,125
Every wall needs nipples.

270
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,171
So a guy knows where to look.

271
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,591
Thank you for telling me
to do this, Caroline.

272
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,263
She did?

273
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,433
I'd get up and run
but my legs are like taffy.

274
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:16,981
Seriously, you told him
to hang that thing up?

275
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,067
In fairness,
I had not seen the painting

276
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,653
when I suggested
something like that.

277
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:25,740
I mean, I get it.
It's gorgeous.

278
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,201
But it doesn't go
with the décor.

279
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,662
What?

280
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:35,417
Is it throwing off this gorgeous
outdoor-indoor swing?

281
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,628
I'll cut you
with the carving knife!

282
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,427
Nobody is cutting anyone.
Especially not me.

283
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,803
Do you never learn?

284
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,097
Just put some beef
in your napkin like I did

285
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,640
and let's get out of here.

286
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:57,563
Sophie, you asked me to move in.
Guess what? I moved in.

287
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,232
Yes, I asked you to move in

288
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,193
but not
with big weird-nipple Putin.

289
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,740
Well, how big are nipples
supposed to be?

290
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,950
Because-- Never mind.

291
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:14,246
And what's your problem anyway?
I gave you a drawer.

292
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:18,000
This. This is my drawer
everybody.

293
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,086
What good is this?

294
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:24,466
I can't even get one of my ball
gags in there.

295
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:29,136
You asked for a drawer,
I gave you a drawer.

296
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,682
And who needs
12 ball gags anyway?

297
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,186
Oh, so now
you don't like ball gags?

298
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,772
Who are you, lady?

299
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,816
I'll tell you who I am.

300
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:47,655
I'm the lady
who's Putin this in the trash.

301
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,244
You trash that, I'll trash this.

302
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,413
Oh, no. Oh, you think
you're gonna break

303
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,289
one of Grandma Chinski's
glasses?

304
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,876
No, if anyone's gonna break one,
it's gonna be me.

305
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,586
(GLASS SHATTERS)

306
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:03,837
This reminds me

307
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,840
of the first half
of my second marriage,

308
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,301
and the second half
of my third marriage.

309
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,971
Sophie, I'm done.

310
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,099
And as you said to me
on our first date,

311
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,018
"I don't know how much
more of this I can take."

312
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,522
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

313
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,315
Fun party.

314
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,817
Not awkward at all.

315
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,486
I should get going though.
Got to be up early for...

316
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:29,780
What's a thing?
Church?

317
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,037
Beef, beef, beef. (SCATTING)

318
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,173
Sorry about that dinner party
last night.

319
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,177
It kind of got away from me
a little bit.

320
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,014
But I really appreciate you
getting up early

321
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,558
and helping me move
Oleg's stuff back.

322
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,144
I just actually feel like
this is a little bit my fault.

323
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,730
Seriously!

324
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:05,525
Can it ever just be about me?

325
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,237
Hey, where are we taking
his stuff anyway?

326
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,364
I don't think Goodwill
will take a love seat

327
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,700
that's actually covered in love.

328
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,580
Well, I was thinking,
you know, since Oleg and I

329
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,375
really did have
something special,

330
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,544
I was thinking
I would just take his stuff

331
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,755
and dump it down by the river.

332
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,589
Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

333
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,508
Sophie, would it kill you

334
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,885
to just let Oleg
hang the damn painting?

335
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:35,971
(TIRES SCREECH)

336
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,893
(HORNS HONKING)

337
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,685
So what, you just park the truck

338
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,980
in the middle
of the Van Wyck Expressway?

339
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,647
Do you never learn?

340
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,108
I almost ate
Rent-A-Truck floor mat.

341
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:52,029
Caroline, you get this straight.

342
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,281
Oleg was wrong.

343
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:58,036
And those nipples
were way too big.

344
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,122
This is awkward.

345
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,877
-You're in the truck?
-No, you're in my apartment.

346
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,756
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(CRASH)

347
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,384
I think something hit us.

348
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,141
You guys just need
some couples therapy.

349
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,684
I'll mediate it,
since I've had therapy myself.

350
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,395
Not as a couple
but hopefully someday.

351
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,107
I'm just sitting here waiting
for the tow truck to come.

352
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,152
How's your neck, Max?

353
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,694
Not so bad.

354
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,114
The second car that hit us
kind of knocked

355
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,076
what the first car knocked
out of place back in place.

356
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,327
I'll start.

357
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,579
This woman
is a fraud and a liar.

358
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,165
Okay, well,
we need a little more Oprah,

359
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,835
a little less Jerry Springer.

360
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,711
Hey, don't diss Springer.

361
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,672
They have great snacks
in the green room.

362
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,007
You were on Jerry Springer?

363
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,843
Yeah, I was on
"I hate my roommate

364
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,469
and I don't know
how to tell her."

365
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,011
Well, you know,

366
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:00,431
Oleg and I are not gonna talk
this thing out.

367
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,891
If you wanna waste your time,

368
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,018
go teach
in an inner-city high school.

369
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,065
You know what? Even better
I'll do the talking for Oleg.

370
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,858
Oh, then, Max, you be me,
okay, Max?

371
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,402
I don't know if--

372
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,403
Do you want the rest
of the beef, or not?

373
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,448
This guy is a bum
and the painting has to go.

374
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:18,907
It's stupid.

375
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,410
Really, really good, Max,

376
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,619
but next time just arch
your back a little, and, yeah.

377
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,457
Okay, you be me.

378
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:27,834
No, I don't feel like getting

379
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,961
a threatening erection right
now.

380
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:32,337
But I will say,

381
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,133
anytime people move in together,
it's a compromise.

382
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,301
Look at Max.
When I needed a place to stay,

383
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,304
she let me have my horse.

384
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,432
Let me just say and I brought
this up on Springer...

385
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,977
I only let you in
because of the horse.

386
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,230
And I finally stopped
putting up a fight

387
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:50,981
and let Max walk around naked.

388
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,983
-When did that happen?
-Tomorrow.

389
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:58,780
Oh, Oleg, I wouldn't want you
to give up walking around naked.

390
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,782
I mean, as long
as you don't sit down

391
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,451
on anything white.

392
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,661
Makes sense.

393
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,624
Nobody likes a chocolate
starfish on an Ottoman.

394
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:12,628
Point, Sophie.

395
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,589
Ha! I'm winning, everybody.

396
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,469
Well, it's therapy.
There are no winners and losers.

397
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,679
Sounds like something
a loser would say.

398
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,641
You know, Oleg,

399
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,103
this isn't about
that silly little painting.

400
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,188
It's just...

401
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:36,361
a lot of change
in a short amount of time...

402
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,782
(WHISPERS)
I'm so scared.

403
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,871
Sophie,
I don't care about my stuff,

404
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,789
as long as I have you.

405
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,336
What did we just do?

406
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,630
We had them apart

407
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,089
and now we just put them
back together.

408
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,215
You did that.

409
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,718
You don't know when to butt out.
Jerry's words.

410
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,722
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

411
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,894
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

412
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:31,374
(English US - SDH)