1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:01,961
Here's your check.

2
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,963
I didn't charge you for the fries
because I ate them.

3
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,596
Max, look out!

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,682
The diner water bugs
are getting really big.

5
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,893
Relax, it's the diner's
new surveillance drone.

6
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,312
You empty the register
five or ten times,

7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,356
suddenly there's no trust.

8
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:28,946
So to be clear, we're out
of soap but we have a drone?

9
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,782
I hate that Han's
just sitting in back,

10
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,159
watching us,
working his little joy stick.

11
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,164
Please, no one's getting any joy
out of Han's little stick.

12
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,295
(SCOFFS) This is so annoying.
It's following me.

13
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,213
Well, with a butt that flat,
it's the only black thing

14
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,966
that's ever going to follow you.

15
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,094
(GROANS) There's another
drone out here?

16
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,722
I just killed one in the kitchen
with a fly swatter.

17
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:56,973
Go.

18
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,850
I mean,
if I wanted to be spied on,

19
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,310
I'd change my name to Ahmed,

20
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,188
and buy a condo near the airport.

21
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:06,525
Whatever happened
to buying a painting

22
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,942
of an old sea captain,

23
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,236
drilling out the eye holes,
and hiding behind it?

24
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,781
Not cool, Han.

25
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,575
And the worst part is,
it's moving around so much,

26
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,367
I can't find my good angle.

27
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,246
Not cool and not Han.

28
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,832
I stole this
while he was explaining to me

29
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,920
why a 77-year-old man,
on minimum wage,

30
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,837
doesn't need health care.

31
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,424
Earl, that is awesome.

32
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,509
Not really.
I need that health care.

33
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,094
No, that you stole that.

34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,680
We need to do something
that will make Han

35
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,598
never want
to spy on us again.

36
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,308
Oleg, open your pants.

37
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,938
Earl, fly that camera in there.

38
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,942
But first,
take off your underwear.

39
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,235
Underwear?

40
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,990
Come on. What am I, five?

41
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,243
Inches?

42
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,082
Oleg, aren't you at all worried
about Earl's cataracts?

43
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,876
Best case scenario:
I get a little manscaping.

44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,294
Worst case:

45
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,588
I've been meaning
to get circumcised.

46
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,384
(HAN SCREAMS)

47
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,010
My eyes!

48
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,475
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

49
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,727
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

50
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,445
Max, I'm writing out the check
for our bank loan.

51
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,198
And I'm not quite sure
what our balance is

52
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,409
because here under "withdrawals"
you just wrote, "yeah".

53
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,663
Well, if you don't like that,
you're really not gonna like

54
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,415
the picture I drew
under "deposits."

55
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,252
I saw it.

56
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,628
Max, zeroes are not balls,
they're not boobs,

57
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,882
and they're not googly eyes.

58
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,968
They're just zeroes.

59
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,221
Says you.

60
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:02,098
I'll go check our balance
at the ATM.

61
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,768
Even though the last guy who
used it had a cold sore so big,

62
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,604
I charged him
for a party of two.

63
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,981
Don't worry. You're not gonna
get anything from that machine.

64
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,442
Especially cash.

65
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,485
Hey, everybody.

66
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,365
Whoa. Yeah.

67
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,326
Somebody better make me
some eggs

68
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:25,247
because I've been on a juice cleanse
for three hours, and I'm dizzy.

69
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,752
I mean, they call it a fast,
but it sure does go slow.

70
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,212
I was on a three weeks fast, once.

71
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,966
Then I realized
my mother wasn't coming home.

72
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,510
So I made a sandwich.

73
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:44,182
Oleg and my wedding is coming up
and we're trying to eat clean.

74
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,852
Yeah, baby.

75
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,437
Because you know we're eating
dirty on the honeymoon.

76
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:56,319
Oh, dear God, what?

77
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,280
Another used condom
in the receipt slot?

78
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,241
-Worse.
-What?

79
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,409
Stuff that should be in a condom
but isn't?

80
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,665
We're below zero.

81
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,251
Oh, well, I better go, y'all.

82
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,881
A white woman screaming anywhere
in my vicinity

83
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,548
never turns out well.

84
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,511
This is a disaster.

85
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,223
I've been at zero, but I've
never had less than zero.

86
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,932
Oh, don't say that, Caroline.

87
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,476
I mean, you're forgetting
about your dating options.

88
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,564
We have less
than zero money

89
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,149
and no way of paying off
our bank loan.

90
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,737
Oh, my God, it happened.
I'm working class.

91
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,783
Hey, I've waited tables with you
for four years

92
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,494
and there's no way you
could call what you do working.

93
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,125
Cupcakes! Buy cupcakes.

94
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,627
Buy cupcakes!

95
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,715
Stop.

96
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,550
You look more desperate
than Justin Bieber

97
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,259
in that Calvin Klein ad.

98
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,264
You don't understand
the seriousness

99
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,057
of this bank situation.

100
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,184
You don't understand the rules
of "World Of Warcraft".

101
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:15,690
The loan just keeps escalating
and escalating until they close us down.

102
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,401
Cupcakes! Buy cupcakes!

103
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,237
Buy cupcakes! Buy cupcakes!

104
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,574
Ooh, pay-dirt. Look, here comes
a big, fat frat house guy.

105
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,538
Hey, bitches. Remember me?

106
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,872
Big Mary.

107
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,582
That's my name.
Don't wear it out.

108
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,170
John, we haven't seen you
since pastry school.

109
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,088
Hey, for old times' sake,
want to buy a cupcake?

110
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,340
A dozen? The shop?

111
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,802
I came because I may know
of a way for Max

112
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,053
to make some extra money.

113
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,555
Whatever it is, she'll do it.

114
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,307
That was my yearbook quote.

115
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,478
I just got hired
at a new restaurant

116
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,605
that's opening under the
High Line Park in Manhattan,

117
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,566
and they are looking
for another day pastry chef.

118
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,901
I only have a year
of pastry school,

119
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,903
and I was stoned for like
a year of that.

120
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,656
I don't know
if I have the skills.

121
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,867
(LAUGHS) Girl, you don't.

122
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,079
But the manager, Joe,
wants only pretty people.

123
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:14,791
And what you lack in pastry,
you more than make up for in pretty.

124
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,377
She'll do it. You'll do it, Max.

125
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,754
John will be there to help back you up
with his pastry skills.

126
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,173
And because I'm pretty.

127
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,593
I don't belong
in a place like that.

128
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,386
It's called "The High."

129
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,346
Sounds right. Give me the deets.

130
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:33,351
Well, good night girls.
Sorry about your bank balance.

131
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,687
But I trust you'll both lapse
into denial fairly soon, as always.

132
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,149
Hello.

133
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,362
Who was she?

134
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,951
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.

135
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,499
Oh, Han's not gay.

136
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,543
(SCOFFS) You forgot the "yet."

137
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,261
Max, maybe button up
a button or two.

138
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,471
It's a dessert bar.
Not a strip bar.

139
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,305
Hey, I need this job.

140
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:15,185
And once this Joe guy takes
one look at these puff pastries,

141
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:19,314
he might cut me a slack when
he sees my other "not so puff" pastries.

142
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,567
And you're comfortable
with that?

143
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,192
Yup.

144
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,571
Like I guess you're comfortable
applying for a waitress job

145
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,822
on just the merits
of your waitress skills.

146
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,452
Should I keep going?

147
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,872
Why?

148
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,293
I'm here.
I'll take those applications.

149
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,459
Hurry, ladies.

150
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,129
If I was looking for pretty
and slow,

151
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,797
I'd hire Nick Jonas.

152
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,841
Max, let's get out of here.

153
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,428
She reminds me of this nightmare
I'm gonna have for the rest of my life.

154
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:54,141
Relax, she's just his guard dog.
It's Joe we have to impress.

155
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,435
No thank you. No thank you.

156
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,187
And how dare you?

157
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:04,067
I'm sorry, the restaurant
doesn't open until tomorrow.

158
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,944
Actually, no. Hi.

159
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,987
I'm here to apply
for a waitress job.

160
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,531
At your age?

161
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,242
-I'm 27!
-And?

162
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:15,370
Max, I can't breathe.

163
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,456
And I'm here
to apply for a pastry chef.

164
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,375
Also 27, but I've looked
this old since I was 6.

165
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,588
For a while, I thought I had
that Benjamin Button's disease.

166
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,423
I'll take the pastry chef first.

167
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,091
Why don't you sit over there
and wait.

168
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,718
I won't be long,
because frankly,

169
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,346
you don't have the time.

170
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,890
Thank you. I'll be over there.

171
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,268
Applying for Social Security.

172
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,480
So, where did you go
to pastry school,

173
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,399
and why aren't you working now?

174
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,777
Manhattan School Of Pastry,
and I am working.

175
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,778
I have my own cupcake shop
in Brooklyn.

176
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,198
-Oh, it's almost over.
-This interview? Great.

177
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,661
No. Not the interview. Brooklyn.
Brooklyn's almost over.

178
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,453
Also, cupcakes.

179
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,875
Cool. I will tell them.

180
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,253
Wish I knew that before they got
their belly buttons pierced

181
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,504
trying to stay cool.

182
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:09,883
Oh, great. A sense of humor.
Customers love that.

183
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,759
I don't, but they do.

184
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,264
So, where's this Joe guy
who's doing the hiring?

185
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,767
There is no "Joe guy". I'm Joe.

186
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,601
Spelled, J-O-E-D-T-H.

187
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,187
The D-T-H is silent.

188
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,649
As am I,
because I want this job.

189
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,610
Well, I guess
I can put these away then.

190
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,320
That was your plan?

191
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,657
To expose your breasts
and seduce your way into this job?

192
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,951
You say that like
it's a bad thing.

193
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,163
-Okay. Well, bye.
-Sit, sit.

194
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,000
If you really can bake,

195
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,918
this position might be
perfect for you.

196
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,879
Also, you have that edgy,
"I don't give a crap" attitude.

197
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,173
Customers love that.
I don't, but they do.

198
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:56,971
Actually, Joe, silent D-T-H,
I can bake.

199
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,389
But how well?

200
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:01,518
My girlfriend and I
are obsessed with French pastry.

201
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,686
Oh.

202
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,438
Girlfriend as in "girlfriend"?

203
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,275
Or as in two ladies of a certain
age at a Cineplex

204
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,693
splitting one thing of popcorn?

205
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,155
Everything you just said
offended me.

206
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,158
Yeah, that's my brand.

207
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,995
And the fact that you didn't cry
about splitting a popcorn

208
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,205
makes me think it's
the first kind of girlfriend.

209
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,791
How are your macaroons?

210
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,172
(STAMMERS)

211
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,591
My macaroons?

212
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,634
Great.

213
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,639
A little bit of French heaven.

214
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,850
What is your name?

215
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,061
Max.

216
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,562
M-A-X.

217
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,860
Nothing is silent, ever.

218
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,488
So I gather.

219
00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:57,783
Okay, why don't you go fill out
an application, Max.

220
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,451
And you can put those
away again.

221
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,120
I'm really not into
big-breasted women.

222
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,166
Girl, you got this.

223
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:14,383
-First day. Are you nervous, girl?
-Please.

224
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,802
Nervous is telling your elderly
Mormon parents you're gay

225
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,388
after your three older siblings
already came out.

226
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,142
I have no idea
what most of these desserts are.

227
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,812
I haven't felt this lost
since the finale of Lost.

228
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,941
Max, can you see any of the
Barney's price tags on these?

229
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,609
Uh, I think there's one
bunching up

230
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,068
inside the back of your pants.

231
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,153
No, that's the underwear
I'm also returning.

232
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,365
Here she comes.

233
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,536
Hi, ladies. This is Naomi,
the dessert bar hostess.

234
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,453
Go, Naomi, go.

235
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,710
Gorgeous, but as dumb as whoever
is the hot new idiot right now.

236
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,963
Let me take a look at you.

237
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,217
-Goodbye.
-Already?

238
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:02,139
-Those pearls. They have to go.
-Really?

239
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,350
It's just, well, I'm kind of
emotionally attached to them.

240
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,436
Well, honey, I love my
half-blind French bulldog,

241
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,437
but I don't wear her
around my neck.

242
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,065
Max, let me take a look.

243
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,735
Love it. Fabulous. Well done.

244
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,447
Hi, Joe. Big day.
I'm so excited.

245
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,408
Why don't you be excited
in the back, doll?

246
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,703
I want Max up front now.

247
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,081
All my life, people have been
telling me not to come out.

248
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,167
Why should here
be any different?

249
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:35,797
Ladies, I just got word that
the New York Times food critic

250
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,048
may make a surprise visit
this afternoon.

251
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,719
Everything has to be perfect.

252
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,597
The service, the desserts,
the precarious balance of my meds.

253
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,142
Nothing can go wrong.

254
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,394
Naomi.

255
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,562
Fetch.

256
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,982
"Welcome to The High."

257
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,860
"Hi. Welcome to The High".

258
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,861
"Welcome to The High."

259
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,530
Stop saying high.
It reminds me I'm not.

260
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:06,452
Wait, Max, you're not high?
Like, not high at all?

261
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,413
No. I didn't want
to screw today up.

262
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,582
What the hell is wrong with you?

263
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,253
You can't change
who you are today.

264
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,547
The New York Times is coming.
How will you cope?

265
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,591
I mean, when's the last time
you weren't high?

266
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,677
My birth.

267
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:27,057
But I was really drunk.
I had just had a bottle of wine.

268
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,933
Well, my mother had.

269
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:30,809
I have to go wait
on those customers.

270
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,354
Do what you can
to get with the program.

271
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,272
I mean,
get off the program.

272
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,774
You can't bake not baked.

273
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,070
Big Mary? John?

274
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,365
Why not try my new name?
Quasimodo.

275
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,869
-Do you have any weed?
-Do I have any weed?

276
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,453
Let me check my hump.

277
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,081
Nope. No weed.

278
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,793
Thanks, Rico.

279
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,586
I didn't want to ask due
to the city-wide ban

280
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,921
on racial profiling.

281
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,509
Wow!
This dish room is cleaner

282
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,719
than Chris Christie's plate
after lunch.

283
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,265
Max, I need two lavender macaroons.
Where are they?

284
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,642
I'm working on them.

285
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,977
Well, good. I'm so proud of you.

286
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,188
This is so Freaky Friday.

287
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,943
Here are the lavender macaroons.

288
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,196
See? Even just holding this,
I'm better.

289
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,115
Now we just have to hope
nothing goes wrong.

290
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,701
Surprise!

291
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,624
We all came to support you.

292
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,130
CAROLINE: Well, that's it.

293
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,173
The New York Times food critic
may be in the same room

294
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,427
as Han, Earl, Oleg,
and Sophie.

295
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,679
We're dead.
Time of death, 11:30.

296
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,100
I believe it's more like 4:20.

297
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:55,729
SOPHIE: Oh!

298
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,355
Caroline, I love your new place.

299
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,817
It's so fresh and pretty.

300
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,028
It kind of looks like
a douche commercial.

301
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,947
You're right, baby.

302
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,491
It looks exactly
like a douche commercial.

303
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:14,663
Okay, can we stop saying
"douche" in the fancy pastry shop?

304
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,625
I agree. Not appropriate.

305
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,043
Caroline, darling,

306
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,172
slip my phone number
to that fine Nubian princess.

307
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,051
And tell her not to be fooled
by my bad hip.

308
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,802
I can still gently
rock her world.

309
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,767
Okay, guys, what are you doing here
and how quickly can you leave?

310
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,893
Real nice.

311
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,186
After we came all this way

312
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,147
to just order only desserts
that Max knows how to make

313
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,274
and to say nice things
about you as a waitress.

314
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,235
Aww, you'd do that for me?

315
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,278
Hell no, I can't pull that off.

316
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:51,241
If I could act, I'd sell the restaurant
and get cast in two-line roles

317
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,870
as the doctor
on any network television show.

318
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,789
Sophie's the actress.

319
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,375
And trust me,
she's got quite a repertoire.

320
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:03,797
In bed, I call her Meryl Sheets.
Do it, baby.

321
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,927
Ooh, what a lovely place.

322
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:16,183
That's the accent she uses when
we play 12 Years A Sex Slave.

323
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,187
Lovely, be right back.

324
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,731
Oh, and welcome to The High.

325
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:27,653
What's going on with that table?
Is there a European circus in town?

326
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,283
A circus? Well, I wouldn't know.
I really have no idea who they are.

327
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,451
That didn't require an answer.

328
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,745
It was just one of my dead-on
observations.

329
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,374
Just get rid of them.

330
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,710
Tell them we've run out of funnel cakes.

331
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:49,134
Well, I'm feeling
like my old self.

332
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,886
Joe just told me to lose
Han, Earl, Oleg, and Sophie.

333
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,596
How am I supposed to lose
that many people?

334
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,265
I'm not air traffic control.

335
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,144
You are acting like they don't know
how to act in a fancy place.

336
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,563
SOPHIE: Girls, look!

337
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,358
Oleg's wearing his napkin
as a party hat!

338
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,907
Here's your dessert.
Bon appétit.

339
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:17,119
Max, I can't believe
you just made that.

340
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,747
Neither can I.

341
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,499
And what did you say
to Oleg and Sophie?

342
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,877
It's been an hour. And I haven't seen
any over-the-table penetration.

343
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,881
I just told them
to be on their best behavior,

344
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,423
and they're fine with it.

345
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,426
Excuse me, Max. Yes, hi.

346
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,345
May I go tinkle?

347
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:37,598
Or is that against the law here
at Guantanamo Dessert Bay?

348
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,478
I'm gonna go have sex
in the ladies room.

349
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,521
Unless you two prudes
have a problem with that, too.

350
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,858
Excuse me.

351
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,487
Can I get a latte and a red wine?
(CLEARS THROAT)

352
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,989
Because I got a Vicodin
stuck in my throat.

353
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,413
My God. Who could be that messed up
in the middle of the afternoon?

354
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,832
Uh, my new best friend.

355
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,586
I better get rid of her before Joe
or that Times critic walks in.

356
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,048
You keep doing good things
by accident.

357
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,050
-Hi, can I get a--
-You sure can.

358
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,635
-Anywhere but here.
-No.

359
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,887
Spinning's not good for me
right now.

360
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,893
-What is she doing here?
-Leaving. You never saw her.

361
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,478
-Wait.
-Joe, I got this.

362
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,646
My bestie at school was totally
hooked on prescription pills

363
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,815
for like a week.

364
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,316
Hey! Hi, you.

365
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,569
Excuse me. Where is Max?

366
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,904
She's in the back for a sec.

367
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,324
So, we meet again.

368
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,451
Sir, do you need something
in the back?

369
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,079
Yes, Caroline said
she'd bring me a napkin,

370
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,915
but I could get Time Warner
on the phone faster than that.

371
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,255
Just ask Max. She covers for Caroline
all the time at the diner.

372
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,801
-Max?
-Ooh! Drama at The High.

373
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,640
Han, that's my new boss.
Stop talking.

374
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,433
Also, stop collecting stickers.
You're a grown-up.

375
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:07,105
Okay, I threw that
drug addict out.

376
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,315
That drug addict
is my girlfriend.

377
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,359
More drama at The High.

378
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,695
And, Caroline,
we have a problem.

379
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,615
-You called Allie a drug addict.
-Oh! Is that her name?

380
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,242
Allie? So cute. Even lovelier.

381
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,413
And according to that
very small man,

382
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,955
you're also a terrible waitress.

383
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,625
But I had no idea
you two were together.

384
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,881
I would have thought
a powerful...

385
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,548
Stop. Now.

386
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,595
Joe, look,
we really need these jobs.

387
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,512
We made a bad decision
with our bakery business,

388
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,223
and now we have a big bank loan
that we can't pay.

389
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,183
Honesty. Good.

390
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,019
People respond to honesty.

391
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:48,980
I don't, but they do.

392
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,066
Max, you have potential here.

393
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,443
Caroline,
you're fired as a waitress.

394
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,404
Are you sure?

395
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,615
Stop!

396
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,577
There's nothing in there
to save you.

397
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,584
Well, if she's fired,
I'm fired, too.

398
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,836
Oh, relax, Norma Rae.

399
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,589
She's fired as a waitress,
but she's hired as a hostess.

400
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,468
I am? Why?

401
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,720
Because you're pretty,
you flashed a boob,

402
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,931
and you took more control
of Allie in five minutes

403
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,892
than anybody's been able to do
in her three rehab stints.

404
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:30,813
And that, lady,
is a New York City hostess.

405
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,945
Well, girls, I struck out.

406
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:42,366
Bill Cosby has ruined it
for all black men over 70

407
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,787
who are just trying
to buy a gal a drink.

408
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,251
Max, how do you like that?
I'm the hostess.

409
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,753
I got a promotion!

410
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,838
-I don't think a hostess is a--
-It is, Max.

411
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,217
'Cause with a less-than-zero
bank balance, it has to be.

412
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,218
It's all I have left.

413
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,262
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

414
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,684
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

415
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,163
(English US - SDH)