1
00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:04,088
Max, did you pick up the tip
from table two?

2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,631
No, but I'm pretty sure
I picked up a staph infection.

3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,304
So they literally gave me
their two cents worth.

4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,513
This is so embarrassing.

5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,141
Even Abe Lincoln won't make eye contact.

6
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,562
Girls, I need you to do something for me.

7
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,731
You know the rule.

8
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,442
Nothing for you, on you, near you,
or in us.

9
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,446
I'm going to restroom.
Keep an eye on the kitchen.

10
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,489
I have a four-minute egg
and a five-minute date with

11
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:34,118
the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

12
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,249
-Hey, do you see what I see?
-A fire?

13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,877
No, our way out of this job.

14
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,963
Lord Jesus, there's a fire.

15
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,049
You two gonna do anything about that?

16
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,011
Because I'm not.

17
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,847
I don't mess with fire or Presbyterians.

18
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,558
Fire, fire! I smell fire!

19
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,770
Well, don't just stand there!
Do something!

20
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,813
We are.

21
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,108
S'mores!

22
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,111
You'd think you want this place
to burn to the ground.

23
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,362
You'd think that.

24
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,115
Caroline, do something.

25
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,743
I'm on it. Chocolate?

26
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:21,748
(GROANS)

27
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,957
Han, not too close.

28
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:27,045
You never get the smell of Korean BBQ
out of your clothes.

29
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,932
Either he put the fire out,

30
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,060
or that little robot just had an orgasm.

31
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,146
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

32
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,606
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

33
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,075
Welcome to The High dessert bar.

34
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,578
I'm the hostess slash quasi-manager.

35
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,665
First day in, got a huge promosh.

36
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,709
I hate to brag,
but the word dazzling was used.

37
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,712
Yeah, by you.

38
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,509
Little to no power
has really gone to your head.

39
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,301
It has.

40
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,471
She's like the Putin of pastry.

41
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,518
But doesn't it feel good to not
just be working at the diner?

42
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,396
I haven't slipped
on one used baby diaper all day.

43
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,526
Speaking of babies, look, there's Han.

44
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,659
That's, like, the third time
I caught him spying on us.

45
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:43,122
Why would he stalk
two of his worst employees?

46
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:46,792
I know. It's like Where's Waldo?
when you don't want to find Waldo.

47
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,296
Not seeing a hostess up in here.

48
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,091
She meant quasi-manager.

49
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,343
If Marty Scorsese walks in here,
do you want him to seat himself?

50
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,388
He'll be lost. Lost!

51
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,682
Sorry, Joe. I was just over there
giving Max instr--

52
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,560
Honey, I'll download an audiobook

53
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,936
if I want to hear a story.

54
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,771
I want you to meet someone.

55
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,609
Me too. And I'm sure I will
when the time is right

56
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,068
and I'm open to it.

57
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,030
Kind of focusing on me right now.

58
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,031
Stop.

59
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,116
Learn to read faces.

60
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,412
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about him.

61
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,582
(IRISH ACCENT) Hello, pleasure
to meet you. I'm Nashit.

62
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,418
Nashit's an Indian name,

63
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,545
and isn't that an Irish accent I detect?

64
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,298
Or have I just lost consciousness
from how white your teeth are?

65
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,550
Yes, it is.

66
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,927
My father's Indian. My mother's Irish.

67
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,805
He's Irish. He's Indian.
He's East meets West.

68
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,266
He's everything in a hot Irish
coffee-boy-band package.

69
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,521
I found him on the street,
next to a dirty chair.

70
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,985
Hi, I'm Caroline, the hostess
slash quasi-manager at The High.

71
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,615
Are you high? Because that was
a lot of talking.

72
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,283
Who is this, and where can I get one?

73
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,788
-This is Nashit, our new waiter.
-It's lovely to meet you.

74
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:10,125
Can you say magically delicious?

75
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,420
I really want Nashit to work out.

76
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,757
I like it when good-looking
people succeed.

77
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,052
Well, I guess that's good news for me.

78
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,845
Is it?

79
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,810
Hi, honey. Have you met the new waiter?

80
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:30,019
I love him. He's my favorite.

81
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,816
If I did men,
he would've been done by now.

82
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,987
Oh... So you think you're pretty.

83
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,281
Well, I do too.

84
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,534
Okay, Nashit, pay attention.

85
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,829
These are the tables.
This is the dessert bar.

86
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,497
And these are my boobs.

87
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,500
Max, be professional.

88
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,254
These are my boobs, sir.

89
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,132
Please, I have to make him a waiter.

90
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:02,468
Fine, you make him a waiter,
and I'll just make him later.

91
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,100
Here you go.

92
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,978
This isn't yours, is it?

93
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,230
No, because they already
have dessert.

94
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,983
Damn it.

95
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,819
You asked for water,
like, an hour ago, didn't you?

96
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,197
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't you worry, those lips.

97
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:26,242
And what's an hour when we have
our whole lives ahead of us?

98
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,290
Max, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I stink as a waiter.

99
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,000
This is desperate.

100
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,127
Well, desperate times
call for us making out.

101
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,298
Hey, I have a question for you.

102
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,216
Your skin is so creamy and white.

103
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,886
You must have a little Irish in you.

104
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,846
I've had a lot of Irishes in me.

105
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,225
That's meant to be dirty, right?

106
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,562
Well, I just mean that I think you're
quite beautiful.

107
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:57,106
Oh, well, then I just mean we're doing it.

108
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,485
I did not think there was somebody
who had a prettier nose

109
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,529
or was worse than me waiting tables,
but here we are.

110
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,867
Nashit, there's not a fork
in the mix out there.

111
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,244
Now, get out there and fork those women.

112
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,079
Take it easy on him.

113
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,538
I don't want him to be forked out

114
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,208
by the time he gets to me.

115
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,711
I'm gonna have so much sex
on my bed with Nashit,

116
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,754
that I'm gonna need a new sheet.

117
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,800
-Aren't you too old for him?
-Yeah.

118
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,928
But that test said mentally I'm 14,
so we can totally do it.

119
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:31,307
Well, I'm off to Chinatown
to have someone put needles in me.

120
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,187
Oh, my God. I love your coat.
You look gorgeous.

121
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,439
I mean, the way it flows.

122
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:41,610
Okay, so I can see you're a kiss-ass,
so here's the thing.

123
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,653
As my quasi-manager,

124
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,613
or whatever nonsense
you're telling people,

125
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,659
I need you to tell Max and Nashit
to cool it.

126
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,577
There are no hookups here at The High.

127
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,663
Done, we can stop saying "quasi"

128
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,624
if we're both on board
with the manager thing.

129
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,084
We're not.

130
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,295
The High is about fine pastry,
not someone's sordid love life.

131
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,507
And in an ironic twist,

132
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,716
I need you to kick my girlfriend's hot
ass out of here

133
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,343
if she comes in.

134
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,680
Here's $100.

135
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,682
That's $100. Consider her hot ass
out the door.

136
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,310
We're in a fight.

137
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,978
She got drunk, stole my Black Card,

138
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,106
and bought 90 people soup
at Barney Greengrass,

139
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,024
and the soup isn't even good there.

140
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,446
Do not take this as a no
because I want the money.

141
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,365
But why can't you tell her yourself?

142
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,117
I can't tell her myself.
She's younger than me.

143
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,413
And everyone knows
the mommy thing just isn't sexy.

144
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,252
Make sure she eats something
and gets home safe.

145
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,130
Caroline, I have a question for you.

146
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,216
What do I do with the notes
the women give me?

147
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,718
-You've gotten notes?
-Just a few.

148
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,303
(GASPS)

149
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,432
How could women be this desperate?

150
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,058
Max, this one's from you.

151
00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,105
They're mostly all from me,
except the business card.

152
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:03,024
I don't need no damn card
to let him know I'm all business.

153
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,528
Max, Joe just told me there are no hookups
at The High.

154
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,656
And judging from this
very detailed picture you drew,

155
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,199
that's exactly what you're planning.

156
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,451
Oh, I was planning more.
I just ran out of paper.

157
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,829
We can't lose these jobs.

158
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,538
I have two $100 bills,

159
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,207
and I'm close to pulling the trigger

160
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,918
on an Amazon Prime account.

161
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,379
Amazon Prime? You have been driven
mad with power.

162
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,550
Fresh, flakey pastry.

163
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,388
And speaking of flakes,
there's Joe's flakey girlfriend.

164
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,558
Can someone help me get my chair
off my coat?

165
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,602
How did she get in here?

166
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,063
Probably floated in on a cloud of Valium.

167
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,942
It's go time, as in she's got to go.

168
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,445
You have a better chance
moving an actual train wreck,

169
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,779
but good luck.

170
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,616
-Allie, hi, you--
-Oh, shh...

171
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,578
(WHISPERS) Allie, hi. You need--

172
00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,706
Sorry. But I am hung-over,
and I have a headache.

173
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,960
Could I get a latte with a side of weed?

174
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,672
No, because this isn't Amsterdam
or Bill Maher's house.

175
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,341
Now, you need to leave.
You know Joe doesn't want you here.

176
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,301
Well, I'm not leaving.

177
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,763
My legs won't move because
my muscle relaxers just kicked in.

178
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,767
John, can you do me a favor?
Walk Allie outside.

179
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,979
And by that, I mean pick her up
and carry her outside.

180
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,315
I went to pastry school. I'm not Shrek.

181
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,570
Of course not. You're much more Fiona.

182
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,904
(GIGGLES) Girl, that's good.

183
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,490
I was gonna say the donkey
because I have a fine ass.

184
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,288
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay, fine.

185
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,081
Driver, two stops.

186
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,418
Barney's and Fro-Yo.

187
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,466
Earl, we're late again.
Did you keep us alive?

188
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,261
Max, I can barely keep myself alive.

189
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,557
This morning, I had to jump-start my heart

190
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,726
by putting my finger in the socket
Tom and Jerry style.

191
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,566
Oh, hello. So what did you girls do today?

192
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,527
I haven't seen you
since right here last night.

193
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,821
Oh, really, Han?

194
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:16,408
Because I swear I saw you lurking around
outside The High.

195
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,369
It was either you,
or Pikachu is visiting New York.

196
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,664
That one barely grazed me

197
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,418
because I'm Korean
and Pikachu is Japanese.

198
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,961
You don't know anything about Pokémon.

199
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,592
Han, you may not be Japanese,

200
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,721
but in the future, you're definitely
gonna be poked by a Mon.

201
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,057
And it was you.

202
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,268
-No, it was not.
-Yeah, it was.

203
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,686
-Wasn't.
-Was.

204
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,645
-Wasn't.
-Was. Wasn't!

205
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,149
English is my second language!

206
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:54,028
Admit it! You're jealous we're spending
time with another restaurant.

207
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,697
I am not jealous.

208
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,907
-Are so.
-Am not.

209
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,200
-Am not.
-Are so. Not!

210
00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,368
Oh, my God!

211
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,788
(SNIFFS)

212
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,914
Caroline, what the hell are you doing?

213
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,832
I'm smelling a $100 bill.

214
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:10,211
It's from my other restaurant.
It buys me nice things.

215
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,712
Jealous?

216
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,008
I took you in when you had no one!

217
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,429
Hi. Can you help me? I'm looking for Max.

218
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,850
Why, hello. Is it too late to be gay?

219
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,644
Nashit?

220
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,024
Oh, my God! He even looks good
here in morgue light.

221
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,692
We are so doing it.

222
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,822
Caroline, you left your phone
on the table at the restaurant.

223
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:41,076
I confess, I used it as an excuse
to come and see Max.

224
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,787
This isn't mine. It's Joe's girlfriend's.

225
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,998
I don't have an iPhone 6.
I have an iPhone sick.

226
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:53,379
D-O-I-N-G it!

227
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,341
Max, why is Nashit here?

228
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,135
Because God owes me.

229
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,808
You can't seriously be into him.
He looks like someone in a boy band.

230
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,894
Yeah, and he's going one direction.

231
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,692
Down there.

232
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,738
But if you sleep with him,
then Nashit is gonna hit the fan.

233
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,408
How do you know you even like him?

234
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,076
You know what I like?

235
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,702
That we're doing it.

236
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,623
Hey, everybody!

237
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,460
I just got hit by a cab.

238
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,671
And, boy, am I in the mood for crab legs.

239
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,633
The thing about you, baby,

240
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:43,513
you bounce back from a good
pounding... every single night.

241
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,851
Wait a minute.

242
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,190
That's my booth.

243
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,774
It's lovely to meet you.

244
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,445
What?

245
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,115
What the hell kind of accent is that?

246
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,159
I'm from Ireland.

247
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,453
What?

248
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,706
Max, you are not doing it.

249
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,167
-Are. Are.
-Not. Not.

250
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,918
-Not.
-Please, I went to Wharton.

251
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,340
Look, we should go to your place
when we do it

252
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,509
so that Caroline won't be there
while we're doing it.

253
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:25,054
Lovely, but I just came to America
two days ago.

254
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,307
I have no place to go.

255
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,976
In fact, I've been sleeping
on that dirty chair Joe spoke of.

256
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,523
What?

257
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,777
Is he singing?

258
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,990
Oh, my God. He's gorgeous and homeless?

259
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,912
-That's your dream guy.
-We are so doing it!

260
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,879
Oh! This is impossible.

261
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,381
I feel like I'm putting
an Oscar dress on Precious.

262
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,721
I'm making up the couch for Nashit.

263
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,014
That is so nice of you.

264
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,183
He's gonna need a place to crash
after we have sex.

265
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,562
No, that's off the table.

266
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,480
I can't believe you invited him
to stay here.

267
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:20,110
And I can't believe you refused to sleep
at Starbucks tonight to give us privacy.

268
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,280
I mean, you like Nora Jones.

269
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,991
(WHISTLES)

270
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,328
Max likey.

271
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,999
-Max, listen.
-No, you listen.

272
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,086
I can't afford candy,
so he has got to be it.

273
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,215
Thanks for the shower.

274
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,217
Oh, no, his muscles point to his penis.

275
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,599
(KNOCKING)

276
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,975
CAROLINE: Max, stop with the banging.

277
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,312
I'm not letting you out
while you're still in heat.

278
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,981
MAX: It's not me.

279
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,735
I'm making a list of ways to kill you!

280
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:10,118
I feel like I'm being a bother,
and I think I'm sleeping on a bong.

281
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,910
(KNOCKING)

282
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,456
Open up. I know what's going on in there.

283
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,375
My God. That's Joe.

284
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,753
She must've found out
about you and Max hooking up.

285
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,547
-Oh, no.
-Max, Joe is here.

286
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,591
You need to do that thing you do
to scare people out of the hallway.

287
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,134
What do we think, guard dog

288
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,888
or little old lady with poor eyesight
and loaded gun?

289
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,057
(MAX BARKING)

290
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,019
Fine, I'm going. This is why I never
leave Manhattan.

291
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,437
Hey, you need to get
in the girls' apartment?

292
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,855
I have a key.

293
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:44,110
Find it here in my big bag.
I know it's in here somewhere.

294
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:47,780
Well, I got the lip balm. I got...

295
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,283
Look, I got the Holy Bible.

296
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,493
I got...

297
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,955
Look, the DirecTV remote.

298
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,125
My God, I'm losing estrogen.

299
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,919
Max, you and Nashit go hide in your room.

300
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,254
But no sex.

301
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,674
You heard her, no sex. So everything but.

302
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,384
And I mean everything, and I mean but.

303
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,013
Here it is. It's right...

304
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,640
It was right under the cold cuts
the whole time.

305
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,184
(KEY JINGLES IN DOOR)

306
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,230
-JOE: Caroline.
-Hey. Hi, Joe.

307
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,192
Oh...

308
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,903
Yeah!

309
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,576
Yeah, the shorter hair makes sense now.

310
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:35,870
Yeah.

311
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,414
Good for you, Caroline.

312
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,501
I hope you like long, boring stories.

313
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,131
Okay, where's Allie? I know she's here.

314
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,634
I put a spy app on her phone.

315
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,177
And I'm not proud of it,
but I'm a jealous woman.

316
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,307
Oh, her phone. I have it.

317
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,684
She left it at The High
when I threw her ass out today

318
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,977
per your instructions.

319
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,648
I don't know how I thought this thing
was gonna work out to begin with.

320
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,232
We met at Coachella.

321
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:09,695
We were both on Molly,
this intensely hot Filipino girl.

322
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,657
(MAX AND NASHIT GIGGLE)

323
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,242
I'm hearing sexual sounds.

324
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,621
And hints of secret shame
coming from the bedroom.

325
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,458
Allie is here.

326
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,544
No, no one's here. That's just our white
noise machine.

327
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,921
I'm shocked. You're not even her type.

328
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,257
Your lips are like two flair-pen marks.

329
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,388
That's hot.

330
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,268
Please don't fire Nashit!

331
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,605
The Dr. Seuss hats were my idea.

332
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,981
We were playing Hop on Pop.

333
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,903
I was Pop.

334
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,905
I didn't even know
there was a boy in there.

335
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,156
I only saw you.

336
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,911
Okay, since there are no hookups
at The High...

337
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,288
if you don't stop sleeping with him
immediately...

338
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,625
my new manager... (CLICKS TEETH)

339
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:08,378
Caroline here is going to have to
kick his beautiful butt to the curb.

340
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,340
But I was mid-doing-it!

341
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,384
(EXHALES)

342
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,929
Honey, there's a real funky smell here.

343
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,681
I got to get out of here.

344
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,226
PS, this is where you live?

345
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,561
Take another $100.

346
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,988
Earl, hi. What kind of mood is Max in?

347
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,573
Pretty good.

348
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,242
On the Max scale,
she's below slightly drunk.

349
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,411
But above, punching a customer out.

350
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,789
Good. I was worried she'd be mad at me

351
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,000
because I had to get rid of her boy toy.

352
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,380
Caroline, I'd put my hearing aids back in
if I wanted to hear a story.

353
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,342
Guess what I have for you in my purse?

354
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,344
The tampon I asked for last week?

355
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,013
No, and again, so sorry about that.
Really dropped that ball.

356
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,642
Gummy worms!

357
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,979
Yes, I took away your man candy,
but I got you these.

358
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,521
The hot ones that you like

359
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,941
from the good candy store
with the sneeze guards.

360
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,984
(GASPS) Fancy!

361
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,903
And don't worry about Nashit.
I got him another job.

362
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,615
Hot worm!

363
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,242
Clean glasses coming through.

364
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,871
Nice rack.

365
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,832
Now I know why guys
like saying that to me.

366
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,420
There he is! There's the new employee.

367
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,964
Han, I can't believe you'd hire someone
just because Max asked you to.

368
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,968
This has nothing to do with Max or you.

369
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,221
The boy here said something
to me that you two couldn't understand.

370
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,723
What's that, sir?
That I was a hard worker?

371
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,934
That's it! Yes! Manna from heaven!

372
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:49,771
I actually have an employee who works!
Jealous?

373
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,358
Now, this job, I can do.

374
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,569
You know, growing up,
I had five brothers and sisters.

375
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,906
And since I was the least attractive,
I had to clean all the dishes.

376
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,036
-Meet you in the dish room, Nashit.
-Max, what are you doing?

377
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:05,246
There may not be hookups at The High,

378
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,874
but there are hookups here
at our lowest low.

379
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,791
And we are doing it.

380
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,713
Caroline likey.

381
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,509
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

382
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,057
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

383
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,952
(English US - SDH)