1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,213 Girls, I need your attention. 2 00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:06,631 You also need a booster seat for most places. 3 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,720 No, I came out to tell you some big news. 4 00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,388 You also came out when you wore that sweater to work today. 5 00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:17,475 John Mayer wore this sweater in Details. 6 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,271 Tonight, we are trying family-style service. 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,772 I thought family-style service 8 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,608 was what I had to do with my uncle. 9 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:29,155 Well, my family-style is more potluck. 10 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:32,991 Heavy on the pot, not so heavy on the luck. 11 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,579 Why would a family come here? 12 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,831 If I see a child in here, I'm calling the police. 13 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,625 It's like seeing a dog locked in a hot car. 14 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,213 Chicken cacciatore, family-style. 15 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,548 Liver and onions, family-style. 16 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,384 Spaghetti and meatballs, my family-style, 17 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,429 which means the balls are kind of small 18 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:57,098 but the noodles are extra-long. 19 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,686 You bring out the food in large bowls 20 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,731 and the customers serve themselves, 21 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,066 as they've been doing since I hired you two. 22 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,319 Good idea, Han. 23 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:12,823 The diner food does belong in a big bowl, the toilet bowl. 24 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,284 I don't know what your uncle saw in you. 25 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,331 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 26 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,707 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 27 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,135 Max, I just found something very upsetting on my phone. 28 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,096 Another free U2 album? 29 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:38,765 Worse. 30 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,727 And worse than an e-vite to a friend's improv show. 31 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,855 It's an e-mail from the managing director 32 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,692 of all The High restaurants saying he's seen our sales 33 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,902 and is disappointed with my performance. 34 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:55,073 Duh-lete. Like I do 35 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,075 with all the "Disappointed in your performance" texts 36 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,036 I get from guys after sex. 37 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,704 Sorry, gents. 38 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,792 My boobs make a promise my bad back can't deliver. 39 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,461 Those bad sales numbers are not our fault. 40 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,506 Our unit's out at the airport. 41 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,424 Well, I'm not taking ownership of this 42 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,175 because my unit is not at the airport. 43 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,427 It's in my bed table drawer. 44 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,806 I'm the manager. It's on me. 45 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:23,102 As is this tartar stain. It just refuses to come out. 46 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,937 You'd think its parents were Baptist. 47 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,734 Well, Manager, I need to get out of there early tomorrow 48 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:31,943 to do Sophie's wedding cake. 49 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,405 And also because you're annoying as a boss. 50 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,699 Hey, everybody. 51 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,746 (SINGS) Me, me, me, me 52 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,665 Me, me, me, me 53 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,252 I love being a bride. 54 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,212 You don't even have to pretend it's about anyone else. 55 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,383 Kind of like me, when I was rich. 56 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,134 Pretty much every single day still. 57 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,888 Good news, bad news. 58 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,640 The good news is the rash is not spreading past my nuts. 59 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,979 And that's the good news. 60 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,275 Bad news, the wedding donkey we booked 61 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,276 for the church service, died. 62 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,447 I'll ask the obvious question. 63 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,782 Did it have anything to do with the rash? 64 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,745 I mean, what are we gonna do? 65 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,329 It's not a traditional Polish wedding 66 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,748 without an ass walking down the aisle. 67 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,752 I think Oleg's got that covered. 68 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,965 Girls, we need an ass, you have a horse, 69 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,843 same family, but not related, like the Jolie-Pitt kids. 70 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,807 No way. Chestnut is my baby. 71 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,393 Well, the donkey was getting a thousand bucks. 72 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,937 Baby's gotta work. 73 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,192 Wow, business is slower than the third season of House of Cards. 74 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,695 You know what's doing great business? 75 00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,531 It's my new Grindr profile. 76 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,578 Changed my screen name to "Suction Junction." 77 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,750 That damn Cinnabon next door is taking all our business. 78 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,669 What kind of low lives would prefer those 79 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,419 to these fine desserts? 80 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,714 I found a secret pathway to the Cinnabon kitchen. 81 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,384 Move, bitch. 82 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,014 Really? You too? I just don't get it. 83 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:27,059 It's an acquired taste, like crystal meth. 84 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,396 -(CELL PHONE CHIMES) -Oh. 85 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,481 Great. My waiter's gonna be late again. 86 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,483 "Held up at the TSA line." 87 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,194 That's what I get for hiring an airport waiter 88 00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:39,487 named Mohammed Machdinajihad. 89 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,409 Oh, look, Ronnie, a new place. 90 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,370 I see it, Bonnie, I'm right next to you. 91 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,372 Didn't this used to be the bar we got wasted in 92 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,540 before our flights? 93 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,543 I can't remember. I was wasted. 94 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,586 Welcome to The High. 95 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,215 The finest in high quality desserts. 96 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,632 We also have yogurts, cappuccinos, 97 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,968 lattes, coffee, herb teas or smart waters. 98 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,221 And did I mention we're a Boingo Hotspot? 99 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,016 Take it down a notch. 100 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,600 You're selling it harder than Anne Hathaway 101 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,185 on The Tonight Show. 102 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,896 Oh, hi, I'm not here to buy, just to look. 103 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,565 On a diet since 1998. 104 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,360 Oh, dear lord, those look amazing. 105 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,946 -Can I just smell a piece? -Bonnie, don't. 106 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,240 It'll get you going and then halfway to Paris, 107 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:26,117 I'll find you in coach binging on a bag of Sun Chips. 108 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,454 That's my favorite thing about the job. 109 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,000 Oh, Paris reminds me. 110 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,711 I bought two first class tickets to Paris on three credit cards 111 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,295 that will escalate 20 percent over six years. 112 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,715 Anyway, I really need to return them. 113 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,550 What's the window on that with your airline? 114 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,093 A month, about the same amount of time I have 115 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,305 until this fake smile finally falls off my face. 116 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,807 Lady, we're flight attendants. 117 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,391 If that smile falls off your face, 118 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,435 you're gonna have to get a job at Southwest. 119 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,396 So why are you returning them? You don't like Paris? 120 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,024 J'adore Paris, but long story short-- 121 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,776 I'll make it short because she's incapable 122 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,028 and will throw in lots more of that fake French. 123 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,447 Bought the tickets so that I could get to the gate 124 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,740 to see a guy I was banging. 125 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,992 I hear you. 126 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,202 I once hid in the luggage cart for 12 hours 127 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,454 to do it with this cute guy who works at Customs here. 128 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,540 Oh, right. Rick. What's he doing now? 129 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,959 Me, every third Tuesday. 130 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,047 Don't leave me hanging, ladies. 131 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,175 If we hadn't just read Lean In in our wine club, 132 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,343 I mean, book club, 133 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,677 we'd be real jealous of you gals. 134 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,971 We always had a dream to open a shop at the airport. 135 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,100 Well, whatever it is, just don't open near a Cinnabon 136 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,310 because failure smells a hell of a lot like cinnamon. 137 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,146 WOMAN: (ON P.A.) Final boarding call for flight 24 to Paris. 138 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,398 Final boarding call. 139 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,151 "Final boarding call"? We better hurry. 140 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,201 (HUMS) 141 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,622 Wow. Everything looks so much smaller in here 142 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,624 than I remembered it. 143 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,000 Like returning to your old high school 144 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,211 or your old high school boyfriend's penis. 145 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,841 Not mine. I went to an urban high school. 146 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,802 What's that weird smell? 147 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,971 Probably that milk. 148 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,641 It's been in here so long, its own photo was on the carton. 149 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,728 No, it's over here. Really pungent. 150 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,190 Yes! 151 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:30,617 Hmm... I might owe you two some rent. 152 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,204 Unless you wanna settle in weed. 153 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:38,667 I always wanna settle in weed. In fact, I plan to retire there. 154 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,336 Marijuana's in the closet? 155 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,088 This is more shocking than Meredith Baxter-Birney. 156 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:49,677 Look, I figured since you two abandoned the cupcake shop, 157 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,137 this space was available. 158 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,557 Also, I stopped asking permission for stuff 159 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,100 when I turned 70. 160 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,476 We did not abandon it. 161 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,478 We just haven't paid attention to it in three months, 162 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,523 like me with any hair above my mid-thigh. 163 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,149 Tell me about it. 164 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,610 When you bend over in that skirt, 165 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,694 it looks like you're giving birth to Art Garfunkel. 166 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,576 Me, me, me, me 167 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,077 Me, me, me 168 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,747 Oh, good. Earl, you're here. 169 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,293 Yes, I am. Don't tell any of my ex-wives. 170 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,129 Earl, would you do me the honor 171 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,716 and walk me down the aisle tomorrow night? 172 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,675 Sophie, sorry. 173 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,261 I didn't know your father was dead. 174 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,513 Did he die upon meeting Oleg? 175 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,932 Oh, he's not dead 176 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,644 but I'm not getting upstaged by an iron lung. 177 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,566 Well, Earl, how could you say no to such a heartfelt request? 178 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,360 I'd be honored, Sophie. 179 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:50,989 Like the wedding saying goes, "Something old, something new, 180 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,700 something borrowed and someone black." 181 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,287 Oh, Caroline, look. 182 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,498 Here are the pink ribbons for Chestnut. 183 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,833 Chestnut has to be covered in girly ribbons? 184 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,543 I can't do that to my boy. 185 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,129 I'll throw in another $50. 186 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,423 I guess there's a reason "horse" sounds so much like "whore." 187 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,552 Now, we're all gonna leave for the church at 6:00, 188 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:19,225 but I told Earl 4:00, because, well, you know. 189 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,525 (RESUMES HUMMING) 190 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,028 What's happening over there? Max, you're humming. 191 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,654 (SCOFFS) What? 192 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,033 (LAUGHS) Please, I am not a hummer. 193 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,744 I mean, I'll drive in them, I'll give them but I am not one. 194 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,664 (RESUMES HUMMING) 195 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,250 Oh, my God, I am humming. What's wrong with me? 196 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,544 What am I gonna do next, smile? 197 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,923 That's right. Today's special promotion, 198 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,384 in and out in five minutes or your dessert is half off. 199 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,261 Eat it, Cinnabon! 200 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,181 Pear tart and a coffee. Come on, I'm on a clock here! 201 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,350 Who had the damn pear tart and a coffee? 202 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,977 Max, hurry. Five minutes, in and out. 203 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,812 Yeah, the one thing you don't have to explain to me 204 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,398 is "in and out." 205 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,442 I need help. I never said I was fast. 206 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,985 All my high school guidance counselors did, but I did not. 207 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,778 I'll go get John off break 208 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,364 because my waiter still isn't here. 209 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,698 This whole Middle East situation 210 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,951 is just so inconvenient for me. 211 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,331 Okay. Now, we have a real situation. 212 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,249 You hit someone. Damn it, Max! 213 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,250 It's not about me. It's Sophie. 214 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,836 Her gown arrived from Poland 215 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,297 and it's stuck in customs out here. 216 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,508 SOPHIE: My gown! My beautiful gown! 217 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,470 Oh, my God! My gown! 218 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,096 Wow, she is really upset. 219 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,433 Really upset, because this isn't even on speaker. 220 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,522 Yes, it's awful, but look on the bright side. 221 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,524 Our certain-to-be-hideous bridesmaids dresses 222 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,485 are stuck in customs too. 223 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,278 No, those arrived. 224 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,863 Damn it! 225 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,655 First, it's the Middle East, now those dresses. 226 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,033 I cannot catch a break. 227 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,287 Wow, this place is packed. 228 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,996 Remember us? Bonnie and Ronnie? 229 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,916 We knew you when. 230 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,667 Hey, wait, Ronnie, didn't you say 231 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,418 that you boned a guy in customs? 232 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,837 That was Bonnie. I have standards 233 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,381 and he didn't like me. 234 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,551 To be clear, I did have sex with the customs guy, 235 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,095 but not in customs. 236 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,888 It was in one of those family bathrooms. 237 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,057 Look, is there any way you could help us 238 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,809 get a package out of customs? 239 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:28,312 Wait. What bra am I wearing? Oh, done. 240 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:32,692 John, we're leaving. You're in charge. 241 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,403 Max. We can't leave right now. 242 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,738 The wedding's not until tonight 243 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407 and we're in the middle of a store promotion 244 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,615 and we're losing. 245 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,618 You know I'm gonna kill you, right? 246 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,202 I just have to figure out how. 247 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,496 Top contender is hooking your necklace on the front gate 248 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,998 and pushing up. 249 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,625 We'll stay as late as possible. 250 00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:51,378 Just pick up Sophie's dress box and hop on the subway. 251 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,129 Easy peasy. 252 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,259 MAN: (ON P.A.) Watch the closing doors, please. 253 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:02,221 Why is nothing easy peasy? 254 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,144 MAN: (ON P.A.) Watch the closing doors, please. 255 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,980 I am watching the doors! 256 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,356 It's hard not to! They're about to eat my box! 257 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,775 -(MAN LAUGHS) -(IMITATES LAUGH) 258 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,028 Yeah, real funny, sir. 259 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,072 A girl said, "Eat my box." Grow up. 260 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,536 Jeez. How could a dress be this big? 261 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,663 This is just the veil. 262 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:28,789 I have to get something out of my bag. 263 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,375 Hold this by yourself for a second. 264 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,500 (GROANING) 265 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,047 I can't find it. Here, take this. 266 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,799 -What is this? -A hundred dollars in change. 267 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,469 We need it for the wedding. It's a Polish custom 268 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,178 to throw change at the bride. 269 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,722 Loose change? Live animals? 270 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,057 Is this a wedding or a cock fight? 271 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,226 Max, this is heavy. 272 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,937 What do you have to get out of your bag? 273 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,355 -Something important. -What is it? 274 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,857 The rest of my Cinnabon. 275 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,360 Max, that's our competition. 276 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,571 The reason for our failure is that piece of crap. 277 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,864 I mean, I ca-- 278 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,366 Oh, my God, this is delicious. 279 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,537 No! Max, he's got the money bag! 280 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,125 No! No! No, no, no! 281 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,961 That is our Polish bride money! 282 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:16,922 Back off! 283 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,090 This is not the day to screw with me. 284 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,341 I'm at the business bottom 285 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,177 and I've had nothing to lose since 2011! 286 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,934 Queen's Plaza. 287 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,480 Yup. That's what would happen next. 288 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,032 What's the hold-up back there? 289 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,283 People are placing bets that I'm halfway to Reno 290 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,620 with a hooker and the wedding cash. 291 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,038 Relax. After that subway, 292 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,750 Max and Caroline needed some time to freshen up. 293 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,835 They came smelling like that diner cheese 294 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,546 I tell you all is still good. 295 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,048 Hey, everybody. 296 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,511 We look just like Sophie. I am so relieved. 297 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,514 I thought I'd be way overdressed but I'm just under-boobed. 298 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,225 Yeah, we were in a hurry 299 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,351 or I would have loaned her a cup of mine. 300 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,770 All right. 301 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,190 Oleg, stop looking at us like that. 302 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,402 It's okay. I'm marrying you. 303 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,654 You guys look like the Four Tops. 304 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,532 Well, two tops and a bottom. 305 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,621 Oleg, Sophie doesn't want you to see her. 306 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,707 Jump on Chestnut and start down the aisle. 307 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,835 And Chestnut, I'm sorry, baby. 308 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,921 I know you never wanted to do drag. 309 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,216 And, Han, you're supposed to take this 310 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,469 in case something happens in the aisle. 311 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,264 This just went from best man to worst job. 312 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,018 (TRADITIONAL UKRAINIAN MUSIC PLAYS) 313 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,703 Hi. What do you think, girls? 314 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,331 Do I look like a virgin? 315 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,168 - (TUBA PLAYS) -Listen! 316 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,463 I heard the tuba. That's my cue. Go, girls. Go. 317 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,884 (TRADITIONAL POLISH MUSIC PLAYS) 318 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,047 Oh, God! 319 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:07,174 Her dress almost killed us and now it killed Earl. 320 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,302 (PANTING) 321 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,222 Thanks. I thought I was a goner. 322 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,522 Time for the vows. 323 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,649 Bring the crowns! 324 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,778 (SINGS) And crowned is married 325 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:33,368 With honor 326 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,953 Now... 327 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,749 raise the crowns to their heads. 328 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,804 Better go. This is as good as it's gonna get without a ladder. 329 00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,269 I, Sophie Kachinsky... 330 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:09,069 take you, Oleg Golishevsky 331 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:14,576 to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, 332 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:20,289 never to leave your side 'til death comes to take me. 333 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:25,586 (VOICE CRACKING) I, Oleg Golishevsky, 334 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,630 take you, Sophie Kachinsky, 335 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:32,760 to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, 336 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:36,890 never to leave your side 'til death comes to take me. 337 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:44,063 I pronounce you husband and wife! 338 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:51,112 Max, now you throw the coins. 339 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,992 Long story. 340 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,791 Wow, girl, your fingers work fast. 341 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:07,002 Must be from years of opening those 501 button-fly jeans. 342 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,712 Mine and others'. 343 00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,089 Max, I'm done waiting. 344 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,175 I need that piece of cake right now. 345 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,676 We just had a close call in the air. 346 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,637 So close, we gave the finger to the pilot 347 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,597 in the plane next to us. 348 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,143 We almost crashed and I didn't wanna go down screaming, 349 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,479 "I should have opened a daycare center!" 350 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,316 I usually go down screaming, "You didn't buy me dinner!" 351 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,859 Bonnie, let's admit it. 352 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,444 We're never gonna go for our dream, 353 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,322 just like we never went to get those colonics. 354 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,450 If we really wanted our own business, 355 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,868 we would have done it already, like Max and Caroline did. 356 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,539 Right, we did. 357 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,584 John, cut these two the biggest piece 358 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,336 of coconut macadamia nut cake we have. 359 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,881 Oh, my God. I think I just climaxed. 360 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,342 Well, then pull your panties on 361 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,802 and slink the hell out like you usually do. 362 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,058 Caroline, I need to talk to you. What are you doing? 363 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,354 Working. I'm very sick. 364 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,773 Bonnie and Ronnie out there just reminded me of something. 365 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,109 I mean, besides two drunk aunts on vacation. 366 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,903 We have our own business. 367 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,823 The High isn't our failure. 368 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,950 We already have our very own failure 369 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,118 called "Max's Homemade Cupcakes." 370 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,413 And if we stay here, we're building someone else's dream, 371 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,289 not ours. 372 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:28,000 Also, if we stay, your ass will be the size of a house. 373 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,005 I mean, when was the last time you felt happy here? 374 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,008 Like 30 seconds ago 375 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,509 when you said this place wasn't our failure 376 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,677 and I remembered I was holding another one of these 377 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,387 in my other hand. 378 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,723 Let's get out of this airport. 379 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,144 We never have to see another Nicholas Sparks novel again. 380 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,353 But first, we have to get rid 381 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,063 of those two plane tickets to Paris. 382 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,691 Do we? 383 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,153 I mean, if we're gonna fail 384 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,740 we can still do that after a week in Paris, right? 385 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:03,286 Right. I'm so stoked. I've never been in first class. 386 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,872 Except, Max, this is coach. 387 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,583 I got a refund on one ticket and traded in the other 388 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,627 to buy two coach tickets and to pay for a cheap hotel. 389 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,756 I'm so stoked. I've never been in coach. 390 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,883 And also so we have money to spend. 391 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,176 We should be able to do Paris for a week on $12. 392 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,220 Of course, we can. 393 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,016 What's the difference between coach and first, anyway? 394 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,142 The champagne. 395 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,186 We'll be back with the good crackers, 396 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,813 and I don't mean us. 397 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,903 Well, partner, after all we've been through this year, 398 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,781 whatever comes next, I kind of feel ready for it. 399 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,116 BONNIE: (ON P.A.) Flight crew, prepare for take-off. 400 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,494 (HUMMING) 401 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:51,000 -Hey, now you're humming. -I am? 402 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,049 Hey, can I trade this in for a beer? 403 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:04,888 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 404 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,059 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 405 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,913 (English - US - SDH)