1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,352 Listen up, everybody. 2 00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,006 Something strange is afoot. 3 00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:07,398 Don't be hard on yourself, Han. 4 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:10,271 You're taller than a foot. 5 00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:14,362 What's wrong? Somebody rub your belly for luck again? 6 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,494 No, I think I might be losing my memory. 7 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,627 According to Netflix, last night I watched 8 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:22,065 half the "Taken"s and all the "Insidious"es-es. 9 00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,675 All of them! 10 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,418 Relax. You probably just sleep-watched them. 11 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,159 And you probably also sleep-ordered 12 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:33,033 28 boxes of tampons on Amazon. 13 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,773 Max, you hacked into my accounts? 14 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,471 That's illegal! 15 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:39,517 And beyond what I thought you were intellectually capable of! 16 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:45,958 Not much of a hack when the password is "Hanstoppable." 17 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,048 That's a breach of trust, girls. 18 00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:49,832 Did you order me those shoes? 19 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,619 Dammit! I should have gone with "Han Golden Pond." 20 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,102 [Peter Bjorn and John] ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 21 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,669 [cash register bell dings] 22 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:06,196 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 23 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,245 [cell phone chimes] 24 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,420 Oh, this is weird. 25 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,769 There's a message from Bernard, 26 00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:14,944 my grandmother's butler. 27 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,293 Why would he be calling me? 28 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,426 Maybe he butler-dialed you. 29 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,429 [Bernard] Caroline, hello. 30 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,953 I'm calling on behalf of your grandmother. 31 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,913 Wait, she abandons me after four years with no explanation 32 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:29,524 and now she reaches out? 33 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:30,307 Now? [scoffs] 34 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,396 There is no excuse for that. 35 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,181 [Bernard] She's been in a coma. 36 00:01:35,616 --> 00:01:37,836 Okay, there's one excuse for that. 37 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,795 But she's awake now and wants to see you. 38 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,104 Max, she wants to see me. I'm going to go call him. 39 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:48,586 She didn't shun me, she was just practically dead! 40 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,676 Max, can I ask your opinion about something? 41 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,417 If Sophie and I want to get pregnant, 42 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,158 she needs to be on drugs. 43 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,420 Oh, to have sex with you? I get that. 44 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,816 No, fertility drugs. 45 00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:05,473 I haven't paid this much for sex since Orgy Cruise '08. 46 00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:09,128 So I'm going to ask Han for a raise. 47 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,000 What do you think? 48 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,481 I think that'll be fun to watch. 49 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,352 Well, I've come up with a new password 50 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,311 that none of you will ever guess. 51 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,834 Han-ah Montana? 52 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,708 Dammit! 53 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,449 Lookin' good, Han. 54 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,364 Have you been shopping at Men's Wearhouse? 55 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:30,150 'Cause I like the way you look. 56 00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:35,024 You know I exclusively shop at T.J. Maxx. 57 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,853 They've been helping me spring into summer for years. 58 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,552 Hey, everybody! 59 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,340 Oleg, what happened? 60 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:49,343 Did you ask that little Korean girl for a raise? 61 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,218 Max, my grandmother wants me to come and see her tomorrow! 62 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,741 This is so exciting. 63 00:02:56,872 --> 00:03:01,181 Someone in my family is alive and not in federal prison. 64 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,530 That is exciting. 65 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:03,748 How much money do you think we're getting? 66 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:04,749 She's rich, right? 67 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,405 I can't believe all this time she was in a coma. 68 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,277 I can't believe you knew someone in a coma 69 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,540 and I didn't get to draw a mustache on them. 70 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,503 Hello, Caroline. 71 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,940 Your grandmother's place is fancy. 72 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,290 I'm just gonna say it. 73 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,901 I don't think anybody has ever peed in there. 74 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:27,990 [Caroline] Bernard! 75 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,600 You haven't aged at all. 76 00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:30,862 Thank you. 77 00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,909 She hasn't been awake to guard her creams. 78 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:38,174 Oh, this brings back so many childhood memories. 79 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:42,091 Right here is where we had our 14-foot Christmas tree. 80 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,530 And then right here is where she'd give me her yearly hug. 81 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:50,404 Well, Caroline, have you bounced back from the scandal? 82 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,579 If you count working at a diner, sleeping in a wall, 83 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:55,930 and clothes shopping at CVS, then she's real bouncy. 84 00:03:57,454 --> 00:04:00,762 And is this your same-sex partner? 85 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:04,026 I will be if that gets me in the will. 86 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,420 Bernard, this is Max. She's my roommate. 87 00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:10,989 Yes, that's what we called them back in the day. 88 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,208 [bell rings] 89 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,385 Oh, she's found the bell. 90 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,908 Lucky me. 91 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,910 But that was just a single dingle. 92 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,434 A warning dingle. 93 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,653 [bell rings] 94 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,656 Double dingle. Mayday. 95 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,358 Grammy Astrid, it's Caroline! 96 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:36,276 I know, darling. I'm old, not blind. 97 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,713 I've missed you so much. 98 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:44,022 Careful. Don't get her overexcited. 99 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,939 Crack a window. Smells like Ass-trid in here. 100 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,768 I suppose I should conserve my energy 101 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:53,467 for the luncheon you're going to throw me. 102 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,729 What luncheon now? 103 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:55,817 The one you're going to throw 104 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,209 to re-introduce her to society, 105 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,820 a sort of coming out party. 106 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,343 Isn't that more your turf? 107 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,304 Grammy, I'd be happy to throw you a luncheon 108 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,435 but I can't afford-- 109 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,568 Gah! [clears throat] 110 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:10,484 Sorry. Caroline, never mind all that. 111 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,573 Introductions are in order. 112 00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:16,141 Oh, Grammy. This is my friend, Max. 113 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:19,536 Hey, uh, I guess, welcome back. 114 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,322 You haven't changed a bit, Caroline. 115 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,020 Always making friends with the help. 116 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,067 Maria, was it? 117 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:33,332 I'll take a tall glass of agua, por favor. 118 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:37,815 Hoping there's a Maria behind me. 119 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:40,296 Caroline, how have you been? 120 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,733 Are you running Wall Street yet? 121 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:47,608 No, but I did cut my hair, which was scary but rewarding. 122 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:52,047 Grammy, a lot has changed since I lost all my-- 123 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,266 Gah! 124 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,530 Seriously, dude, get an x-ray. 125 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,055 Outside. Now. 126 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:05,103 And still waiting on that agua, Maria. 127 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,542 Ay, yi yi. 128 00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:17,725 Okay, Bernard, what's with the "gahs"? 129 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,379 You interrupted what I was saying so often, 130 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,990 it's like we're a married couple. 131 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,207 I was trying to stop you 132 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,297 from mentioning your father's scandal. 133 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:28,910 Oh, I thought that's just how British people fart. 134 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,869 Your grandmother has no memory of what happened. 135 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,654 When I attempted to tell her the bad news, 136 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,656 she had a stroke and slipped into a coma. 137 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,527 I said, "Your son might be in some trouble," 138 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,659 and that was it; she was out. 139 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,403 She doesn't know I lost all my money? 140 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,143 I know. It's terrible. 141 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:49,060 And what's worse is you have to tell her she's lost all hers. 142 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,105 She's broke? 143 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,499 Then why did I get her that water? 144 00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:59,593 Hey, girls. Buckle up. 145 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,770 Oleg's gonna ask Han for a raise again. 146 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,121 Hot stuff, coming through. 147 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:10,778 Oh look, it's Chef Boy-Are-You-Gross. 148 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,693 Nice hat, right? 149 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:15,304 He wears it in the bedroom when we role-play. 150 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,349 I'm the fussy customer, 151 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,310 and he slathers butter on my biscuit. 152 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,138 This isn't the whole costume. 153 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:27,011 I also wear a drumstick paper frill around my penis. 154 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:31,146 Boner appétit. 155 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,496 Oh, here comes Han. 156 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,758 It's showtime, baby. 157 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,456 Well, I have a new password 158 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,457 that no one will ever get. 159 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,416 "Straight Outta Compt-han"? 160 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,638 Dammit! 161 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:50,644 Mmm! This food is so good. 162 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:55,605 My compliments to the man who hired the chef. 163 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:58,652 Oleg, you're not getting a raise just because Sophie can act 164 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:02,656 like your food is yummy in her tummy. 165 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,528 Would you change your mind if I did it in a different accent? 166 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:09,097 I used to act in Poland. I can do a whole bunch. 167 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:14,363 [Southern accent] Mmm! My word. 168 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:18,193 I just love this tasty tortellini. 169 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,503 Mm-hmm! 170 00:08:33,337 --> 00:08:36,341 Thank you for tonight's nightmare. 171 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,304 Uh, table for one? 172 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:45,525 Not for this one, thank you. 173 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,570 Bernard, hi. What are you doing here? 174 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,529 I could ask the same of you and follow up 175 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,923 with a series of questions about that hideous uniform. 176 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,143 Looks like mustard and ketchup had a fight 177 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,188 and everyone lost. 178 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,671 What up, B-nard? You look even paler here. 179 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,761 And you look perfect here. 180 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,286 Now, something to wear for tomorrow's luncheon. 181 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,072 One of your grandmother's Chanel suits. 182 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,552 Here's her guest list. 183 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:15,467 I'm afraid only one guest RSVP'd "yes." 184 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:19,254 All the rest of her friends RSVP'd "dead." 185 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,864 Bernard, I really do wish I could give 186 00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,084 my Grammy what she wants, but I don't have the money 187 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,607 for a real fancy luncheon. 188 00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:27,436 Or even real milk, for that matter. 189 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,569 We drink "milk drink." 190 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:34,182 I don't think she can take much more disappointment. 191 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:35,575 This morning I had to tell her all about 192 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:38,447 her favorite athlete, Bruce Jenner. 193 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:45,454 This is so sad. 194 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,934 Grammy's whole world is gone 195 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,675 and she has no idea. 196 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,634 Max, I have to give her the one thing that she wants. 197 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:55,029 A major rollback on civil rights? 198 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:56,465 No, the luncheon. 199 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,249 She deserves one last hurrah 200 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,208 before I tell her she's lost everything. 201 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,470 I wish someone had done that for me 202 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,428 before my life came crashing down. 203 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,256 Okay, I'll help you. 204 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,694 I mean, Maria will, if she can find a babysitter. 205 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:21,621 You are the only person I'll wear this for. 206 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:24,319 You know, without the $300 up front. 207 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,888 Thank God Sophie had that maid outfit. 208 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,629 I think this is gonna work. 209 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:36,287 As long as you don't turn around. 210 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,289 [Astrid] Caroline, is that you? 211 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,639 Oh, she's coming. Quick. 212 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,945 Behind the screen. Put the suit on over that. 213 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:45,340 You want me to change into a Chanel suit behind this screen? 214 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,951 Oh, there's room. I've done it numerous times. 215 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,389 Oh, did the rest of our staff arrive yet? 216 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,478 Yes, if you can call them that. 217 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,350 Where did you find them anyway? 218 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,961 Um, around. 219 00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:01,530 Just push me into the room! 220 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,188 I'm doing the best I can! 221 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:10,234 These pants are five sizes too big! 222 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:14,674 Bernard, next time, don't hire a child butler. 223 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:19,200 And you, don't they have wheelchairs in China? 224 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,071 I'm from Korea! 225 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,552 I don't think so. 226 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,557 Tell Caroline she owes me. 227 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,343 Who knows what STD I'm catching from Oleg's butler costume? 228 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,651 And why does he even have this? 229 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:39,568 It's from when they play "Going Downtown Abbey." 230 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,311 Maria, I need help with my hair. 231 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,443 See what you can do. 232 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:49,578 Um, no, I'm not really good at that. 233 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,885 Maria, just do it. Go. 234 00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,585 Okay. 235 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,414 You get one of those, and that was it. 236 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:05,681 Oh, there's my girl. You look wonderful. 237 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:09,119 I forgot how good Chanel feels against my skin. 238 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,599 It's like coming home, 239 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,515 but the house is made of silk and hope. 240 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,691 How's this? A little too Princess Leia? 241 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:22,437 On top! I like it up on top. 242 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,917 Whoa! 243 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,752 Whoa, Grammy. Keep it PG. 244 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,623 [elevator dings] 245 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,499 Where am I? 246 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:45,547 Oh, it's Gertrude Goolsby. 247 00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:48,028 Your first and only guest has arrived. 248 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,290 Astrid! Oh! 249 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,988 Oh, have to--oh. 250 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,470 Sneaks up on you. 251 00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,170 Good luck with all this. 252 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:04,000 I'll be in the kitchen, studying the Chipotle menu. 253 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,741 For my next job. 254 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,963 Don't you look smashing, Astrid. 255 00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,835 I'm assuming. I can't see anymore. 256 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:15,838 Well, I bet you and Grammy have 257 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,928 a lot of fun stuff to catch up on. 258 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,495 How is Gordon? 259 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,410 He has face cancer. 260 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,850 Or the weather is also a subject. 261 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,722 We'd like the first course, pronto. 262 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,725 Maria! Look alive. 263 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,250 You're one to talk. 264 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,644 [bell dinging] 265 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,995 And she gets one of those and that was it. 266 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:46,651 Dear, may I ask you a question? 267 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,437 Where am I? 268 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:54,529 Oh, and where is our sommelier? 269 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:57,532 At your service. 270 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,970 Some wine? 271 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,409 Um... 272 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:09,065 My bad. This one's empty. 273 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,154 I got bored. 274 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,029 And what about you, ma'am? 275 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,160 White, red, 276 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,859 or maybe you prefer a chocolate brown? 277 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,037 I must be in New Orleans. 278 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,910 Here we go. 279 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:31,305 It's from the Bordeaux region. 280 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:34,047 More like the Costco region. 281 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:38,094 Maria! 282 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,314 That's me. 283 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:45,014 Why are these forks not laid out correctly? 284 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:48,061 Maria, forks, now. 285 00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,366 Glad you like that outfit, 286 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:52,804 'cause you're gonna be buried in it. 287 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,199 I think I'm gonna let this one breathe in the kitchen. 288 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,509 Caroline, I'd like to meet the chef. 289 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,904 Oh, of course. Chef! 290 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,036 Booyah! 291 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,733 I'm Chef Oleg. 292 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:12,389 Gordon Ramsay once put me in a headlock. 293 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:17,612 Please enjoy the first course of my first course: 294 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,919 a tasty tortellini. 295 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:26,186 Caroline, this sauce is delicious! 296 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,101 Oh, I'm so glad you like it. 297 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,016 This is the kind of luncheon that makes you feel 298 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:34,194 like you can handle anything that comes along. 299 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,587 Pity there aren't more guests to enjoy it. 300 00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:38,546 [elevator dings] 301 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,287 [posh accent] Darling! 302 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:51,602 Well, I hope I'm not late for the luncheon! 303 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,740 Mmm! 304 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,177 [posh accent] This crème brûlée is just divine! 305 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,139 Don't mind if I don't mind. 306 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:13,624 [normal voice] Uh, excuse me. I have to tinkle. 307 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,279 Where's your john? 308 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,151 Oh, I forgot! 309 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,152 Yes, um... 310 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:22,198 [posh accent] Pardon me, yes. 311 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,636 Could you direct me to your... 312 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,290 Jonathan? 313 00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,430 Astrid, darling, 314 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,868 I wasn't sure what to expect from one of your lunches, 315 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,001 you know, since the scandal, 316 00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,611 since you lost all of your-- 317 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,178 Gah! 318 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,094 I mean, uh... 319 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,531 Lunch is over. Gertrude is leaving. 320 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,881 Scandal? What scandal? 321 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,404 Oh, you know. 322 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,841 The horror of you not having any more-- 323 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,974 Mayday! Double dingle! 324 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,497 Maria, do something. 325 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,021 [Gertrude] Oh. 326 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:04,109 So you mean she doesn't want to talk about the fact 327 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,675 that she's lost all her mon-- 328 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:06,895 [glass shatters] 329 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,073 Oh, it's crystal that broke. 330 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,423 I thought it was one of Astrid's bones. 331 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,210 I'll replace it. I mean, I can't, 332 00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:20,039 but it's the right thing to say right now. 333 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:23,215 Maria, that's my good crystal. 334 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:27,002 And it's not replaceable, unlike you. 335 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,222 - Now go! - Fine. 336 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:33,052 I'll go. To wherever Maria lives. 337 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,012 But just know your granddaughter 338 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,928 worked really hard to make this lunch all nice. 339 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,451 No, you don't have to go. 340 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,410 Oh, can I go? 341 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:47,805 Maybe I should go too. 342 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,852 Would anyone buy that I had plans? 343 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,419 No one is going. 344 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,421 I'm just gonna pick up the broken crystal 345 00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:58,077 and we'll just continue to have the best luncheon ever. 346 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,253 Caroline! Let the help do that. 347 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,777 Get up off of that floor! 348 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,474 You are not one of them. 349 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:10,263 Actually, yes, I am. 350 00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,961 Grammy, you may have been in a coma, 351 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,051 but I feel like it's me that just woke up. 352 00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,313 For the past five years, 353 00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,969 I have been really missing all of this, 354 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,972 but it's not good crystal that makes a life. 355 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,019 It's good people. People like them. 356 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,501 And they are not "the help," 357 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,156 but they did come here to help me. 358 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,462 'Cause you and I might be related, 359 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:39,205 but these people are my family now. 360 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:42,643 And also, I should tell you, 361 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,515 I don't work on Wall Street. 362 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:49,128 I work in Brooklyn, in a diner. 363 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:52,087 See? I'm a waitress. 364 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,915 That's debatable. 365 00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:00,661 I don't understand. 366 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:05,840 You're a Channing. How could you be a waitress? 367 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,495 Because she lost all her money 368 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:12,325 when you lost all your money. 369 00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,588 [heart monitor beats faster] 370 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:17,504 - Caroline, what is she saying? - Nothing, she's saying nothing. 371 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,506 I'm saying, 372 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,943 you're poor. 373 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,423 [heart monitor beats increase] 374 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,729 [gasping] 375 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:29,168 [heart monitor flatlines] 376 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,344 Oh, I leave for two minutes 377 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:34,434 and the party really goes downhill! 378 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,054 I'm sorry again about your grandma, darlin'. 379 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,360 Thanks, Earl. 380 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,536 Well, she did die doing what she loved: 381 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,712 being rich and yelling at the help. 382 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:56,064 [crying] 383 00:19:56,195 --> 00:20:00,329 I'm gonna miss her so much! 384 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,898 Sophie, you knew her for three courses. 385 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:08,207 I know; I didn't win that Polish daytime Emmy for nothing! 386 00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,081 You know, Caroline, you did the right thing 387 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,213 throwing that luncheon. 388 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,649 And I pulled a glute 389 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:19,435 pushing your lovely racist grandmother around. 390 00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:22,656 I really appreciate you guys helping me with the luncheon. 391 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:26,312 And, Oleg, I tried the food, and it wasn't gross. 392 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:30,229 You hear that, Han? Wasn't. Gross. 393 00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,536 After being a servant for a few hours, 394 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,060 I get how much you all have to put up with. 395 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:39,194 So, I'm giving you all a raise! 396 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,892 Thank you so much, Han! 397 00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,111 Everyone? 398 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,245 They don't need drug money for a baby. 399 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,596 No, but we need drug money for a 27-year-old woman.