1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:02,698
[upbeat music]

2
00:00:02,741 --> 00:00:05,483
Max, what's a five-letter word
for "happy"?

3
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:09,357
And it's not my first wife,
Helen.

4
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,664
I was gonna suggest "drunk."

5
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,710
Maybe 'cause I am.

6
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,712
Hey, everybody!

7
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,586
Hey.

8
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,198
Guess what I have
under my coat.

9
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:27,723
And it's not ice cream sundaes
like last time.

10
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,727
It's my baby bump!

11
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,687
Aw, Sophie, you're showing!

12
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:38,603
And this time, it's not
either of your nipples.

13
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:41,432
Ah, look!
Only four months.

14
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:45,175
And I'm already
approaching Kardashian.

15
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,656
And that's quoting the doctor.

16
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,049
Impressive.

17
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:52,791
You may have a North, South,
East, and West in there.

18
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,664
The baby really kicks.

19
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,535
So it's either gonna be
a soccer player

20
00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:00,712
or a Los Angeles policeman.

21
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,367
Hey, Han, what do you think

22
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:07,197
of my baby bump, baby bump,
baby bump?

23
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:10,679
In my country,
we never comment on two things:

24
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:13,856
women's pregnancies
or Kim Jong-un's haircut.

25
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:18,121
[Peter Bjorn and John]
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

26
00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:19,601
[cash register bell dings]

27
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:24,780
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

28
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,220
[upbeat music]

29
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,614
[bell dings]

30
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,789
One tuna malt.

31
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:39,098
That was a tuna melt.

32
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,364
Oh.

33
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,280
Max, here comes Han.

34
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,456
Now remember,
we have to be extra nice

35
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,979
so we can get his support
for our new dessert bar.

36
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,241
How can he support us?

37
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,115
He can barely support
his giant head.

38
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,377
See, that's
the kind of stuff

39
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,161
you're gonna have to
stay away from.

40
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,427
What's this about?

41
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:08,258
Last time you were smiling,
I almost lost an ear.

42
00:02:08,301 --> 00:02:11,261
Well, my Hollywood money
has finally arrived,

43
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,176
and as you know, Han,
Max and I want to

44
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,179
convert the cupcake window
into a dessert bar.

45
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:21,184
And as you know, I want to
convert you two into waitresses.

46
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,795
Come on, Han, it won't affect
the diner at all.

47
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,623
All we want to do
is use the dish room--

48
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:29,801
home of two of the three
original strands of E. coli.

49
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,194
It's a no.

50
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,065
My therapist said
this had to be the year

51
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:37,069
of standing up for myself
and cutting out soda.

52
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,898
All right, well go ahead,
stand up.

53
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:45,382
But because I would like to see
you make someone else miserable,

54
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,819
I know a real estate agent
that could help you two

55
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,081
find a new space.

56
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:53,303
Did you say
"real estate Asian"?

57
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,393
Her name is Evie,
and I know her from my church.

58
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,179
And let's just say
she's been angling

59
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,877
for what I've got dangling.

60
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:07,926
Your keys?

61
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,234
She likes me, you shrews!

62
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,671
Okay, well that's what we get
for being nice.

63
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,195
So back to the dessert bar,

64
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,458
did you get the pictures I sent
you of those cool stools?

65
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:20,069
I saw the subject heading
was "cool stools,"

66
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:23,768
and I thought you finally
shattered our last boundary.

67
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:26,380
Here, give me your phone.

68
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,685
I can't find the stools.

69
00:03:27,728 --> 00:03:28,773
[gasps]

70
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,035
Oh, my God!

71
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,559
I can't believe
what I'm seeing.

72
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,865
Is it that dog driving?

73
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,692
No, why do you still
have a picture

74
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,565
of your ex-boyfriend
on your phone?

75
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:40,176
You swiped on my phone?

76
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,091
What if I had something
embarrassing in there?

77
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:45,094
Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot?

78
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,704
Why do you still have a picture
of Randy on your phone?

79
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:51,231
The guy who broke up with you
in L.A. using a therapist?

80
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,885
This bespeaks
of an unresolved longing.

81
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,845
Be-stop be-talking right now.

82
00:03:56,888 --> 00:04:00,022
I am gonna delete them, I just
haven't gotten around to it yet.

83
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,198
Like being nice to people.

84
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,855
Oh, my God,
this is too weird.

85
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,726
-What?
-It's Randy.

86
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:09,945
Does Max work here?

87
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,600
This smells like the place
she described.

88
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,994
That smell's how I find
my way to work every day.

89
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,608
What is he doing here?
I don't want to see him.

90
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,699
Then don't turn around,
'cause he's right behind you.

91
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,875
Max?

92
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,051
Hey.

93
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,924
Good to see you.

94
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,753
You're not gonna turn around?

95
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,582
No, I'm good.

96
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:41,411
You're not gonna turn around
for that guy?

97
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:44,284
I mean, I would turn around
for that guy.

98
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,939
See on the board
you have some specials.

99
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:51,159
I guess I'll have
the sloppy...job?

100
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,033
It's "joe."

101
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,601
Sometimes my "E"s
look like "B"s.

102
00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:01,083
Clearly, I need to start writing
the specials on the board.

103
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,349
You know what,
just give me the meat...load?

104
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:10,092
That one, sadly,
is spelled right.

105
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,920
Randy,
what are you doing here?

106
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,139
Lawyer stuff.
I'm in town for the weekend.

107
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,141
My client, Tony Bennett,
is suing Lady Gaga

108
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,840
for making him uncool.

109
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,712
And I thought I'd come by
and see if Max wanted to see me.

110
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,107
I guess I also wouldn't mind
a cup of hot caca.

111
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,590
Max...
you're not gonna turn around?

112
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,029
Okay.
Guess I better go.

113
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,813
Well, bye.

114
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:36,988
Bye.

115
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:40,209
[stomping feet]

116
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:45,649
Damn it!

117
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:49,261
Fell for the ol'
Scooby Doo fake footsteps.

118
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:54,005
-How are you?
-I'm great.

119
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,355
Never been greater.

120
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,834
Max, I need someone
to clean up

121
00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,054
the baby-changing station
in the ladies' room.

122
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:02,231
-We don't have one.
-We do now.

123
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:07,236
I guess I better let you
get back to work.

124
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,500
If you want to see me,
give me a call.

125
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:13,851
Tony has dinner
and goes to bed around 3:30.

126
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:16,724
♪

127
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,509
Randy thinks he can just
show up with his face

128
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,512
and his body and his
muscular-but-not-too-thick neck

129
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,775
and think I'm gonna forget
that he dumped me?

130
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,429
Max, don't say "dumped."

131
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,301
Say "kicked to the curb."
It's kinder.

132
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:32,566
Oh, Max, we have an
unattended package situation.

133
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:36,526
Not unlike that homeless guy
we just passed on the stoop.

134
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,832
Wow, that's the biggest box
I've seen

135
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:43,011
since I accidentally clicked on
a "big, beautiful women" porn.

136
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,056
It stops being
an "accident"

137
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,710
when you wake me up
by yelling,

138
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,626
"Hey, check out this 'big,
beautiful women' porn!"

139
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,975
Well, this is exciting.

140
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,412
I haven't had
a surprise delivery

141
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,762
since that baby I felt
was just Chipolte.

142
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,420
Max, that never really
happened, right?

143
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:03,640
Whatever makes you sleep
sounder, sweetheart.

144
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,425
Never happened.

145
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:08,471
Oh, good God!
It's three kinds of popcorn!

146
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,865
And all kinds
of disappointment.

147
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,301
Crazy?

148
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,042
You've got your
standard butter,

149
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:16,261
you got your sweet,
sweet caramel,

150
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:19,177
and finally, the popcorn
that needs no introduction,

151
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,223
cheese!

152
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,965
Cheese-us, that's good.

153
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,445
It's from Randy.

154
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,012
"I know it's corny,
but I miss you.

155
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,449
Love, Randy."

156
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,843
Oh, great,
so he's a great writer too?

157
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,715
Why am I mad at him again?

158
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,543
All right, he obviously knows
your sweet spot

159
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,327
is the grocery aisle
at Rite Aid,

160
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:41,591
but I am not gonna let junk food
cloud your judgment again.

161
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:44,942
Like that time you donated blood
for a chocolate chip cookie.

162
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:48,119
Hey, I also got orange juice.

163
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:51,340
[knocking at door]

164
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,431
Hey, girls.

165
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,043
Max, this was delivered upstairs
for you.

166
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,784
Uh, sorry about
the bite marks,

167
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:04,222
but the baby a whiff
of the pimento loaf and said,

168
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:07,704
"Oh, I just got to have it."

169
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,706
"I know I was a jerky,

170
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,361
so let me say sorry
with salami."

171
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,189
What, does Randy have, like,
a team of writers

172
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,451
working on these things?

173
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,713
Randy?

174
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:19,803
You mean that hot guy
with the muscular neck?

175
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,805
Muscular, but not too thick.

176
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,154
Yeah!

177
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,156
He's trying to win you back
with salamis

178
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,507
and delicious biscotti?

179
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,639
There's no biscotti in here.

180
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,380
Oh, yeah, well...

181
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:34,470
the baby needed
something sweet.

182
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,645
[gasps]

183
00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:36,690
Oh, my gosh.

184
00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,648
The baby just kicked.

185
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,606
Oh!

186
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,696
Oh, that brings me
so much joy.

187
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:43,827
[gasps]

188
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,481
It did it again!

189
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,526
Oh!

190
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,744
My gosh.

191
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:51,574
Hey, I think it's following
the salami!

192
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,402
♪

193
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,930
Thank you so much for showing us
the space today, Evie.

194
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,932
I'm sure Max will be here
any minute.

195
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,847
It's hard for her
to be on time.

196
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:07,198
Or sober for more
than an hour.

197
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,897
Well, the pros are the location
and the price.

198
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,552
And the cons are
the 11 people I'm guessing

199
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,902
have died in here.

200
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:18,601
It is a little small,
but people like small.

201
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:22,387
I know I do.

202
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:26,261
And I know I am very curious
about the natural light in here.

203
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,219
And I can make
anything pretty.

204
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,265
Just ask Suda Mahmoosh
from high school.

205
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:34,574
Everyone called her Bert
till I worked my tweezer magic.

206
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,228
Well, you have to act now,
because there are three other

207
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:39,665
very attractive offers
on the table.

208
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,843
And one wants
to take me on a cruise.

209
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,715
What did I tell you?

210
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:49,284
She's undressing me
with her eyes.

211
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:53,027
Well, I'm buttoning you
back up with mine.

212
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,028
[cell phone ringing]

213
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,769
Oh, I have to take this.

214
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:56,987
And Han?

215
00:09:57,031 --> 00:10:00,164
[speaking native language]

216
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,212
What did she say
to you in Korean?

217
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,996
'Cause she was
coming at you hard.

218
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,609
That she wants me
to come at her hard.

219
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,219
Well, what's the problem, Han?

220
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,134
I mean, she's cute
and she likes you,

221
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,744
and it's not your job
to ask why.

222
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,659
That's mine and Max's.

223
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:20,141
The problem is that she's
from a very conservative family,

224
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:23,057
and she wants to be a virgin
when she gets married.

225
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,495
A two-virgin marriage.

226
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:27,496
That's cute.

227
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:30,891
Or is it too matchy-matchy?

228
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:35,069
No, no, she wants
to have sex before marriage.

229
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,680
I'm confused--
she wants be a virgin,

230
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,770
but she wants to have sex?

231
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,207
Oh!

232
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,950
Like an "everything but"
situation.

233
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,648
So to speak.

234
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:53,043
She's found a loophole,
and it rhymes with loophole.

235
00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,789
What?

236
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,313
Below the waist,
she's like a mullet--

237
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:05,490
business in the front,
party in the back.

238
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,452
-Still nothing?
-Yeah, I got it!

239
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:13,150
I just don't want
to talk about it.

240
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:16,676
This is a conversation
you need to have with a man.

241
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,374
And when Max gets here,

242
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,811
I'm sure she'll
make fun of you

243
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,378
and then tell you what to do.

244
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,989
I'm sorry, Caroline.
The space just got rented.

245
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:28,862
Spaces don't stay empty
for long around here.

246
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,168
Han, can you walk me to my car?

247
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:34,389
I need help putting something
in my trunk.

248
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:41,701
I'm right behind you!

249
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,529
I mean...

250
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,795
Where are Mickey
and Minnie Mouse going?

251
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,187
Max, where were you?

252
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,623
You're late,
we lost the space,

253
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:54,191
and I had to learn
that our real estate agent

254
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:57,891
wants to have sex with Han,
but remain a...

255
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:01,851
front virgin.

256
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,679
Please understand me.

257
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:07,770
Oh, she's working
the ol' loophole argument?

258
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,032
What, you never heard of that?

259
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,905
The girls at St. Bridget's
invented it.

260
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,994
I can't take any more of this!

261
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:17,040
That's what they said!

262
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,043
But then they did.

263
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:25,570
Shouldn't you be coming in
through the back door?

264
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:29,400
♪

265
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,968
I got to say, Max,
I'm really surprised

266
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,709
you didn't cave in
and see Randy.

267
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:38,235
You're showing more backbone
than a supermodel.

268
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,237
Yup, I'm not gonna see Randy!

269
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:43,110
I'm not seeing Randy at all!

270
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:46,287
Okay, and they say
I'm the loud one.

271
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:49,594
Get out of here, Caroline!

272
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,858
Who I am talking to.

273
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,555
Uh, can you go outside

274
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,470
and bring me something
from outside?

275
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,211
-Like what?
-Oh, I don't know.

276
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,213
A souvenir
from Coney Island.

277
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:02,825
An old woman's hat
from Manhattan.

278
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,914
Okay, sure.
Outside stuff, got it.

279
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,308
Thanks.
Take your time.

280
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,615
What are you still
doing here?

281
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,879
You said you were just gonna
take as shower and leave.

282
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,489
I was waiting for
the water to get hot.

283
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,100
Took four hours!

284
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,233
You have to go before
Caroline gets back.

285
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,061
Wow, I haven't snuck out
of an apartment

286
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:24,542
since I helped my friend
escape Scientology.

287
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:27,545
Well, she's back.
And you two are busted.

288
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:28,764
I knew he was in here.

289
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,374
I saw his 12-pack in my phone

290
00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:33,725
when I was taking
a couch selfie.

291
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,553
And you let him use my towel?

292
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:40,210
It's also my sheet/dress
for summer weddings.

293
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,472
Okay, you know what?

294
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,865
I'm gonna get out
of your dress

295
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:46,086
and give you two a minute.

296
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,653
I can't believe
you had sex with Randy.

297
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:49,915
More than just sex!

298
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,352
Stay out of this!

299
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,919
You said you were gonna
mull it over.

300
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,442
Weigh the pros and cons.

301
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,009
You know,
before you came here,

302
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,663
I used to date pros and cons.

303
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,883
I'm not used
to thinking about stuff

304
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,538
and making sound judgments.

305
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:07,672
I just found out last year there
are instructions on medicine.

306
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,414
Well, I'm sorry if I want
what's best for you.

307
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,025
Just throwing this
out there--

308
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,591
got a great job,
nice house,

309
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:17,900
full-fledged AAA member
since 1998.

310
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,163
Please, this is between
me and Max.

311
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,992
We have to figure out
what to do about you two.

312
00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:27,170
Well, I-I like him, but I don't
want to get hurt again.

313
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:30,086
See?
Those are pros and cons.

314
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,175
This is exciting.

315
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,785
What's going on out there?

316
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:36,353
'Cause it kind of sounds like
I'm on trial.

317
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,355
You know what?
This is a big decision.

318
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:40,705
Maybe we should all
just sleep on it.

319
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,926
Isn't sleeping on it what got me
in trouble in the first place?

320
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,233
♪

321
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,933
I thought of another pro
for Randy.

322
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:55,590
He looks like a man from
the front and from the back.

323
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,636
Very rare in these times.

324
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,682
Okay, I'll put it
on the list.

325
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:04,599
Oh, no, this is my list
of reasons to stay alive.

326
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,340
You should know
I'm down to one.

327
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,124
Oh.

328
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:11,736
Evie found a small place in
Brooklyn she wants you to see.

329
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,391
As for the small place
she wants me to see,

330
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:16,567
I haven't decided.

331
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:18,787
Caroline, let's get some
pros and cons going

332
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,181
for Han taking the A-train.

333
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:25,098
I mean, this is the closest
to a vagina that any of us

334
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,143
ever thought you'd be.

335
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:30,755
So if I decide to pass,
you won't think less of me?

336
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,497
Han, that would be impossible.

337
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,763
Hey, everybody.

338
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,679
You know, you get a seat
on the subway if you're pregnant

339
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:44,944
and willing to sit
on an old person's lap.

340
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:48,773
Sophie, what's a
seven-letter word for--oh, hell.

341
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,951
Three years is too long
to spend on one crossword.

342
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,693
According to my mom,
it's too long to spend

343
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,695
in third grade too.

344
00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,784
Carol, come to my booth.

345
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,656
I think my baby's
gonna kick again.

346
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,440
Uh, Sophie,
we're kind of working.

347
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,616
Oh, you got a job?

348
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,143
Hey, there.

349
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,275
I'm, uh, here for Max.

350
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,234
Oh, and 14 across?

351
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,539
Papaya.

352
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,194
Damn!
I'm back in!

353
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:22,285
Randy, we actually haven't come
to a decision yet.

354
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,808
Well, I want my day in court.

355
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:26,637
Oh, you could have mine.
It's the third.

356
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,074
As you know,
I'm a lawyer.

357
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,032
And I usually don't practice
in a courtroom

358
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,035
that serves something
called pork chip.

359
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,819
But if I'm gonna be
on trial here,

360
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,865
-I'm gonna make my case.
-Okay, but let me just say--

361
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:38,388
Do you want the list
of pros and cons?

362
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:39,737
I got this.

363
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:41,565
I need to make sure
that I can trust you

364
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,350
with my best friend's heart
again.

365
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:47,832
Oh, my God, that was pure
Good Wife.

366
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,009
Max, go have a seat
in Sophie's booth.

367
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:54,230
That's fine, but I'm getting
some of that pork chip.

368
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,492
It's good, baby.

369
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:58,147
It comes with a side
of ass potatoes.

370
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,412
Randy.

371
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:05,546
You live in L.A.
Max lives in New York.

372
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:08,505
Did you or did you not
say you're bad

373
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,333
at long-distance relationships?

374
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,551
I did.

375
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,423
And did you
or did you not say

376
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,772
that you're just in town
for the weekend?

377
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:17,645
Well, I did say that--

378
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,125
Ma'am, do you
or do you not see me

379
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:23,346
conducting a mock trial
up in here?

380
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,175
Randy, did you
or did you not

381
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:30,701
break up with Max
using a therapist because...

382
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:34,879
you couldn't do it yourself?

383
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:38,100
-Well, I--
-Answer the question!

384
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,058
Yes.

385
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:42,757
Caroline, girl,
you are good.

386
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,715
Where were you
when I got arrested

387
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:48,937
for being black in Tacoma?

388
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,548
You're living in L.A.,
Max is living in New York,

389
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,897
and you're both living
in denial

390
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,856
if you think
a relationship can work.

391
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:58,033
May I approach the booth
and mount my defense?

392
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:03,908
You mounted the defense
three times yesterday.

393
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:06,650
Objection!
Kissing the witness!

394
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,044
What the hell
is going on out here?

395
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:13,092
They are putting that white
Billy Dee Williams on trial.

396
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:19,402
You're right,
I did hurt her.

397
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:22,405
Breaking up with her using
a therapist was a bad decision.

398
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,930
Breaking up with her at all
was a bad decision.

399
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,802
And why should she trust me
if I'm just gonna

400
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,804
blow into town for the weekend
and leave?

401
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,372
Well, for a lawyer,
you're not making

402
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,200
a great case for yourself.

403
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:35,418
Yeah.

404
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,768
I mean, if I were you,
I'd just

405
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:40,293
take my shirt off right now.

406
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,253
And the truth is...

407
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:45,950
I'm not here on business.

408
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,170
Tony Bennett isn't suing
Lady Gaga.

409
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:52,000
Although he should.
I'm just not involved.

410
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:56,961
I came to New York
for the weekend to see Max.

411
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,789
RANDY: And she's the reason
I'm gonna stay

412
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,791
in New York for a month

413
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,794
to see if we can make this work.

414
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:07,015
I think that should count
as two pros.

415
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,803
You're really gonna
stay here for me?

416
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,979
I couldn't stop
thinking about you.

417
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:19,201
I didn't even delete
your photos off my phone.

418
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,551
Well, that's pathetic.

419
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:25,033
♪

420
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:28,123
So I think I found the perfect
space for your dessert bar.

421
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,299
It's got to be better than
the other holes you showed us.

422
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,301
Well, it's in the trendiest part
of Williamsburg,

423
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:35,609
cheap, and the landlord
is a really nice guy.

424
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,219
It's so close to the diner.

425
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,482
Won't it be weird
if we run into Han?

426
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,571
And not with a car?

427
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,573
Okay.
This is it.

428
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,445
Hello!

429
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,839
Oh, no,
I hate puppet shows.

430
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:51,625
Evie, this isn't available,
it's a cupcake shop.

431
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:54,497
Unless those two girls
finally gave up.

432
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,543
I've decided
to let you expand.

433
00:19:56,586 --> 00:20:01,417
Evie convinced me to do things
outside my comfort zone.

434
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:04,333
-Yes, I did.
-How 'bout that, Caroline?

435
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:08,119
We're not the only ones she
showed a dingy, dark hole to.

436
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,296
Get your minds out
of the gutter.

437
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,254
She took me to hot yoga.

438
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,691
He vomited two "oms" in.

439
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,519
But at least he tried.

440
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,652
So who knows what's next?

441
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,915
Well, I've never had lobster.

442
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,351
Han, are you sure about this?

443
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,397
You'll let us
build our dessert bar here?

444
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,748
I'm sure I'll regret it
almost immediately.

445
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,706
Han, I would hug you
right now,

446
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,709
but the cons outweigh the pros.

447
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,581
This is gonna be
the coolest bar!

448
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:37,453
We just have to get rid of that.

449
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,716
♪

450
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:40,935
[cash register bell dings]