1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,525
Miss, I'm done here.

2
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:04,830
Oh, I've been done here
for years.

3
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:07,007
You don't see me
getting a parade.

4
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,705
[generator hums]

5
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,968
OLEG: Oh, looks like
we lost electricity.

6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:16,755
Uh-oh, all the food in the
refrigerator will go worse.

7
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,670
EARL: Is it a bad sign that

8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:22,065
I can actually
see everything better?

9
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:25,851
Well, we finally found lighting
that made the food look edible.

10
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,679
Yeah, it's almost dark enough
for Caroline

11
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,073
to agree to have sex in here.

12
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:34,034
Max, have you ever seen balls
in light?

13
00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:37,776
They're not pretty.

14
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:40,518
HAN: Nobody panic!

15
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,346
The power is out
in the whole building.

16
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:47,177
We've got less energy
than a Steely Dan concert.

17
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,049
Han, you look exactly like

18
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:52,269
a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock"
right now.

19
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,402
All right, we've got
to keep the diner safe

20
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,360
from hooligans and looters.

21
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,275
You're still on the clock!

22
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:01,583
And you're on my foot.

23
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:04,934
Sorry, Earl, I can't see you
in the dark....

24
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,808
But not in a racist way.

25
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:12,463
And I can't see you
in the light

26
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,551
in a short way.

27
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:17,077
Han, who would loot this diner?

28
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,819
Unless they're looters looking
specifically for disappointment.

29
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,738
Max?

30
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,914
Just taking this vodka

31
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,091
and cash register
to a safe place.

32
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,789
[Peter Bjorn and John]
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

33
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,531
[cash register bell dings]

34
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:41,884
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

35
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,804
Our new dessert bar
is under construction

36
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,021
and it's not quite there yet.

37
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,414
Kind of like
the credit card bill

38
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,287
I lied about mailing,

39
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:57,160
but I've chosen you two to be
the first to get a preview.

40
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,684
She invited other people.
They said, "No."

41
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:02,948
She told me there would be
some hard candy.

42
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:06,169
Better be some hard candy.

43
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,431
I have peppermints inside.

44
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,955
Then we're fine.

45
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:17,137
So it doesn't
look like much now,

46
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,965
but with a little moxie
and a lot of work,

47
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,532
it's gonna be gorgeous.

48
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,882
Like Khloé Kardashian.

49
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:27,147
Is that the one
that's a dude now?

50
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:33,370
Okay, where's my treat?

51
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:35,677
Impressive,

52
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,635
and you've stolen almost nothing

53
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,768
from the diner to do this.

54
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:44,816
Oh, wait, I see my sport coat is
being used as a paint rag.

55
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:47,210
That coat's yours?

56
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:50,648
I thought it belonged
to a service Chihuahua.

57
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:55,043
Hey, everybody.

58
00:02:57,046 --> 00:03:00,005
Oh, yeah.

59
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,443
Hubba, hubba, hot stuff.

60
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,184
You know,
if I were still single,

61
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:07,317
I'd let you spackle my hole.

62
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,581
You heard what she said,
beefcake.

63
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,974
I'm not gay.

64
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:14,846
I'm just very pro-harassment.

65
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,674
I'm proud of you, girls.

66
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,676
You're making
your dreams come true,

67
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,679
and my dreams, too,
assuming you'll allow me

68
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:22,853
to start a tab here.

69
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,509
I'll never pay.

70
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:28,120
Does this mean you're not
paying your tab at the diner?

71
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,906
Uh-huh.

72
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,124
Earl?

73
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,301
He walks fast when he wants to.

74
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,260
I gotta get going too.

75
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,043
You know, we just came
from the baby doctor,

76
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,742
and he put me on bed rest.

77
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:44,833
At first I thought
the doctor said, "Bed arrest,'

78
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,575
which is one
of my favorite games.

79
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:50,055
Sophie, what's wrong?
Are you okay?

80
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,275
Well, I'm five months along,

81
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,364
and the baby
already weighs 15 pounds,

82
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:57,367
so the doctor's just
a little worried.

83
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,413
He's afraid it'll fall out

84
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:02,720
like a watermelon
through a plastic grocery bag.

85
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,767
Come on, baby,
let's get you in bed

86
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,203
and get your legs up.

87
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,031
I can't believe none of this
has to do with sex.

88
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,380
Yeah.

89
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,078
Knock, knock.
It's Randy.

90
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,471
I got a six-pack...

91
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,345
And I brought some beers.

92
00:04:18,387 --> 00:04:21,086
Who wants some warm,
wet, deli beer?

93
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,480
This is why you're
the best boyfriend ever.

94
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,656
Warm, wet deli beer
is the official drink

95
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,224
of my personality.

96
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,965
So, Randy, look.

97
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:32,315
What do you think
of the new bar space?

98
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,230
I've got a bar-related question.

99
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,145
How you gonna fit in the bar?

100
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,626
It's all right here
on the blueprints, see?

101
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,758
The bar goes here,
so that leaves ten feet

102
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,065
for the cafe tables
and the front door entrance.

103
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,546
Uh, you see this
number ten right here?

104
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:50,159
You see the two dashes after it?
Those are inches, not feet.

105
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,424
You got 10 inches.

106
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:58,298
First time I've ever been
disappointed with 10 inches.

107
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,650
Well, that's the last time
I get an architect

108
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:06,349
from the "casual encounters"
section of Craigslist.

109
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,959
[knocking on wall]
Ugh.

110
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,962
The lady from the pizza place
next door is banging back again.

111
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,835
Yeah, they should pay less
attention to our business

112
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,445
and more attention to their own.

113
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,317
There's so much oil
on their pizza,

114
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,188
the U.S. might invade it.

115
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,363
RANDY:
You know what?

116
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,799
I think we've just

117
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,105
blown past "warm beers."

118
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,585
I'm gonna go get us
some whiskey.

119
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:27,327
10 inches always looks
a whole lot bigger with bourbon.

120
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,809
Oh, my God, Max,
we need more space.

121
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,030
I know; we spend
way too much time together.

122
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,379
Hey!

123
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:40,514
Enough with the noise,
cupcake bitches.

124
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:44,561
You gotta stop with this
freakin' racket already.

125
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,433
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, Gina.

126
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,784
What, 'cause I'm Italian,

127
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,221
my name's gotta be Gina?

128
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:56,007
It's Angie.
Gina's my middle name.

129
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:59,576
Oh, I thought your middle name
was "bangs a lot."

130
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,840
Angie, we're expanding our shop,

131
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,799
and we have a permit
for the construction,

132
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,366
so it's above board.

133
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,716
Which, yes,
even I'm surprised about.

134
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,414
You got a permit
to destroy my business?

135
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,548
Nobody wants to eat pizza

136
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:18,073
next to this
constant freaking racket.

137
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,555
What's your freaking point?

138
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,731
Max, I didn't know
you spoke Italian.

139
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,516
Follow me.

140
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,997
I want yous to see
the hell you're making.

141
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,868
Um, that's a firm pass.

142
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,740
-I'll throw in a free slice.
-Okay.

143
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:41,966
[video game beeping]

144
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,315
See?

145
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:44,578
See what you're doing
to our office

146
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,493
from all that banging next door?

147
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,320
You're destroying it.

148
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,322
Uh, look, you can't
destroy a room

149
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:53,761
that has this strong
of a "hostage basement" vibe.

150
00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:56,938
You got cracks,
and falling plaster,

151
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,461
and my brother and I are fed up.

152
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,202
Right, Angelo?

153
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,073
He says, "Right."

154
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,945
He's my twin.

155
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,426
We agree with our minds.

156
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:09,603
Um, Angie, when do we get
that free slice?

157
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,692
Not to be pushy,
but a deal is a deal,

158
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,955
and today's a carb day for me.

159
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,827
[hammer banging on wall]

160
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,481
What the frig?

161
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:22,093
I just got my hair cut
for our high school reunion.

162
00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:23,486
Now it's ruined.

163
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,314
[hammer banging on wall]

164
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:28,578
It's a frickin' war zone
in here!

165
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,102
My father would be turning
in his grave

166
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:34,497
if we'd been able to give him
a proper burial.

167
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,107
How you gonna make this right?

168
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,457
Look, Angie and Angelo,

169
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,503
we're sorry about
the inconvenience,

170
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,462
but it'll just be another week
of construction.

171
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,768
We promise to keep the noise
down to a minimum.

172
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,509
Right, Max?

173
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,685
She's agreeing with her mind.

174
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,949
Hey, just came by
to see if everything's okay,

175
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,517
and to say I've never seen
the statue of David

176
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:57,259
with a slice of pizza
over his junk.

177
00:07:57,302 --> 00:08:00,480
Who's this hunk of gabbagoul?

178
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,786
This hunk is Randy,
and he's my--

179
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:06,529
Lawyer, and I'm sure he's here
to make sure there's no problem.

180
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,965
There's not problem,
right, Angie?

181
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,708
The only problem I see now
is that shirt on him.

182
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,887
Hi, I'm Angie,

183
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:21,326
but I'm thinking about
changing my name to yours.

184
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,199
Props,
that's a good line.

185
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:27,332
So, Angie, what do you think?

186
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,291
Can you stand another week
of the construction?

187
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:32,294
[clicks tongue]
All right.

188
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,034
I'll give yous two another week,

189
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,818
'cause of Randy here,

190
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,386
but that's the last thing
I ever do for you two.

191
00:08:38,429 --> 00:08:42,173
You, I'd do whatever you want..

192
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:46,177
tonight and in perpetuity.

193
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,657
"Perpetuity"?

194
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:51,531
Better not be Italian
for "the butt."

195
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,191
Guys,

196
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:03,586
I have a genius idea
to fix the dessert bar problem.

197
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,676
What if somehow
we could convince Angie

198
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,071
to let us break through the wall
and rent out their back office?

199
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,683
Come on!

200
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,643
This is a genius idea.

201
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:19,515
Their business is struggling,

202
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,996
and we could pay them rent.

203
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,650
It's either that
or we have to use

204
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,130
dollhouse furniture
for the dessert bar.

205
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,349
You know what?
She's right.

206
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:28,916
It is a good idea.

207
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,614
You just gotta figure out a way
to get on Angie's good side.

208
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:34,748
Maybe you bring her
a bouquet of cigarettes.

209
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:38,055
Okay, Caroline, the only thing
Angie likes about us is him,

210
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,884
and honestly, the only thing
I like about us is him.

211
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,191
That's perfect;
we should bring Randy over there

212
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,584
when we go ask her.

213
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:47,151
Randy, this has got to work,

214
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,544
so wear a tight shirt,

215
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,764
and maybe put a little Parmesan
behind your ears.

216
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,943
[video game beeping]
[construction banging]

217
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,075
Uh.

218
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,601
So, Angelo, any idea when
your sister is getting back?

219
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:04,386
[video game music]

220
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,955
Well, it is a long commute
from hell.

221
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,522
Oh...

222
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:11,915
Hi, Randy.

223
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:15,571
I would make out with you,
but I just got a manicure,

224
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,574
and I like to use my nails.

225
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,969
Next time.

226
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,624
So we came here
with a business proposition,

227
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,713
and some delicious cupcakes.

228
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,192
I'll need the plate back.

229
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,499
Get those away from me!

230
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:33,067
I'm going to my reunion
in a dress so tight

231
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,199
you could see
the kidney Angelo gave me

232
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:39,464
from when I had renal failure
from drinking too much Tab.

233
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,947
First of all, Angie,
Max and I are so glad

234
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,994
to hear that you pulled through
from the renal failure,

235
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,953
but the real reason
we're here is--

236
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:52,564
did you see Randy?

237
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:53,740
Look, let's move this along.

238
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:54,958
We want to bust
through this wall

239
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,656
and rent your little
pizza hut here.

240
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:57,787
Well, I'm in charge,

241
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,397
and I'm not renting to yous two.

242
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,921
I don't have time for this.

243
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,358
I still don't have a date
for my reunion tomorrow,

244
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,055
and this stress
is bad for my face.

245
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:08,580
I already have more filler
than a two-hour "Dateline."

246
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,629
Angie, how does a woman like you

247
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,805
not have a date
for your reunion?

248
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:17,807
I mean, not to be too forward,

249
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,244
but hot magenta
really brings out your eyes.

250
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:23,334
Well, you're not wrong.

251
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:26,033
You know what would be wrong?

252
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,513
If Randy didn't take you

253
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:31,255
to your reunion tomorrow night.

254
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:34,519
Do you want to be punched
in the face with my ring hand?

255
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,130
RANDY: You know what?

256
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,958
That...

257
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,482
is a great idea.

258
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:44,051
Angie, I would be honored
to take your to your reunion.

259
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,400
Oh, my God!

260
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:48,011
Really?

261
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,840
What about Angelo?
What's he supposed to do?

262
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:55,671
Angelo, do you want to bring one
of these two to the reunion?

263
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,543
They're not my type.

264
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,894
Two fives make a ten, right?

265
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,075
Oleg!
[bell dings]

266
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,251
I know we don't really
have standards here,

267
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:14,603
but the customer said that
her steak shouldn't do this.

268
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:21,305
Well, tell her not to turn
the plate upside down then.

269
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,046
I'm FaceTiming with Sophie.

270
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,221
She's lonely.

271
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:27,137
Say "hi" to Caroline.

272
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,966
I'm not that lonely.

273
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:33,361
Ugh, I just scrubbed a table.

274
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,841
That is how upset I am.

275
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:37,582
I should have never let Randy
go to that reunion.

276
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,454
And I should have never

277
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:42,805
let Buddy Holly
get on that plane,

278
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,111
but what're you gonna do?

279
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:47,549
Other than play it
over and over again

280
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,204
in your mind for 60 years.

281
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,075
Max, it'll all be worth it

282
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,121
when we get that extra space
for our dessert bar.

283
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,776
Why would God make Randy
look like that

284
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,256
if not to help us get stuff?

285
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,823
I'm worried about Randy.

286
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,694
He is strong,
but she has the strength

287
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,653
of ten horny women.

288
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:07,090
Somebody talk to me.

289
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,223
I'm dying here.

290
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:12,617
I just watched all eight seasons
of "Perfect Strangers."

291
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:15,925
I'm--I'm just--I'm--
I'm Balki'd out.

292
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,929
I just felt a shift
in the force.

293
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,671
Did somebody clean a table
over there?

294
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:23,933
Is everything okay?

295
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,935
She's upset because Angie

296
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:28,024
from the pizza parlor next door
needed a date

297
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,461
to her high school reunion,
and Randy took her.

298
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,550
Well, that's hurtful.

299
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,639
I've asked Angie out twice.

300
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:37,642
They're not
on a real date, Han.

301
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,470
He's just trying to convince her

302
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:40,907
to let us rent
their back office.

303
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,952
Randy's wasting his time.

304
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,650
It's actually Angie's
delightful brother Angelo

305
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,130
who controls the lease.

306
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,524
Angelo's in charge?

307
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,222
Angelo's "delightful"?

308
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,399
Ugh, I am so bored

309
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:59,664
that I just got a degree
from DeVry University.

310
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:04,060
So she tricked Randy

311
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,757
into going to that reunion
with her?

312
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,847
[scoffs]
I am going to the high school

313
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,544
to get my man back--
oh, my God,

314
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,546
I sound just like my mother.

315
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,896
We should go there
and sweet-talk Angelo

316
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,419
into giving us the space.

317
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,857
Oh, but we're "not his type,"

318
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,859
which is a shame,
because I really wanted some of

319
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,905
that 50-year-old
video-game-addict money.

320
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:25,342
Well, where are we gonna
get tacky dresses

321
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,170
and hair from 1986?

322
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,302
[gasps]

323
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,870
I can make you
look like it's 1986

324
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:34,917
'cause I lived in Poland
in 2003!

325
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,358
[upbeat '80s music]

326
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:47,538
♪

327
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,671
How you doin'?

328
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:53,544
How you doin'?

329
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,938
How you doin'?

330
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,288
MAX:
Oh, Jimmy Vecchio!

331
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:01,552
It's Max...Blackilini.

332
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,685
Doesn't ring a bell.

333
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:04,904
What about me?

334
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,253
It's Caroline...

335
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:09,038
uh, Cacciatore!

336
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:12,955
Didn't we take math together
with Mr. Bag-a-two-shoes?

337
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,696
Never heard of him.

338
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:17,438
BOTH: Eh!
-Forget about it.

339
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,484
Oh, there's Angelo

340
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,877
dancing by himself.

341
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,966
No surprise there.

342
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:27,187
Wow, I've never seen
a sweat-suit tux.

343
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,624
Angelo.

344
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,495
It's Max and Caroline

345
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:32,844
from next door.

346
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,411
Um, you probably don't
recognize us.

347
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,544
I'm hoping no one does.

348
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,415
What?
I can't hear you

349
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,417
with the babe alarm going off.

350
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:43,594
Whee-ooh, whee-ooh.

351
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:47,424
Oh, well, same to you.

352
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,818
What is that, terry cloth?

353
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:52,168
Actually,
we came here to talk to you

354
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,474
because we wanted to ask you

355
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,128
about renting out
your back office.

356
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:56,956
We know you're the big cheese.

357
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,001
You know, since you're here,

358
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,611
maybe we, uh, cut a rug?

359
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:04,964
She hasn't cut her rug
in about four months, so...

360
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:10,099
We could, uh, start off
on the dance floor,

361
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,145
and if we happen to end up

362
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:15,365
in the back of
an '86 Cutlass Supreme,

363
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,846
so be it.

364
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:20,849
So be it.
Forget about it.

365
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,111
Excuse us.

366
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,679
Max, I am not a whore.

367
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:28,248
That's not what your hair,
dress, and makeup say.

368
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,468
Look, you pimped Randy out
for that extra space,

369
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,774
and now it's your turn.

370
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,906
You want that back room,
make it happen.

371
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,648
On the count of three,

372
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,824
say "sex."

373
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,740
You handle Angelo.

374
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,264
I've been wanting
to kill someone

375
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,006
for using a selfie stick,
and she is the lucky one.

376
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,096
Angie, God rest your soul,

377
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:52,837
get your hands off my boyfriend.

378
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,970
[laughing]
Max, what're you doing here?

379
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,277
Please tell me that's a wig.

380
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,322
She tricked you
into coming here.

381
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,759
She is not in charge
of the pizza place.

382
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:05,502
Her brother is.
This is my hair.

383
00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,242
Angie, is that true?

384
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,680
Did I do the Electric Slide
for nothing?

385
00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:11,030
Well, not for nothing.

386
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,468
We came in second
in the dance competition.

387
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,686
Okay, fine, it's true.

388
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,863
Angelo's in charge.

389
00:17:18,906 --> 00:17:20,865
My father thought
he was the smarter one

390
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,433
because he wore glasses
as a kid.

391
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,175
Randy, are you okay?

392
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:29,874
Did the bad lady touch you
in any of the good places?

393
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,225
Look, I'm sorry I lied,

394
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,618
but for what it's worth,
I'm having the night of my life.

395
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:38,057
Believe it or not,
I wasn't popular in high school.

396
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,884
I didn't date a football player

397
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,583
or get pregnant.

398
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:45,107
For once, I just wanted
to show up a winner.

399
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,936
-Hey, Ange!
-Oh, no.

400
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,198
Here comes Michelle Pascucci.

401
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,592
Please, don't ruin this for me.

402
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,247
Who's this, Ange?

403
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,510
What's she doing holding
on to your fiancé

404
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,948
like he's the last cannoli
at a wake?

405
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:04,518
Forgot to tell you,
I got engaged.

406
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:05,910
Wait.

407
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,739
Unless that's not really
your boyfriend.

408
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:12,439
'Cause, uh, you're known to lie.

409
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,658
Well...

410
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,660
she's not lying.

411
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:20,055
He's been cheating on me
with her for years.

412
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,537
I, uh, caught 'em
at the Olive Garden.

413
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,019
I smell a catfight,

414
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,805
and Drakkar Noir.

415
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,981
Catfight!

416
00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:36,158
-Oh, come here, bitch.
CROWD: Oh!

417
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,813
-Just follow my lead.
-Okay, careful.

418
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,641
I spent $65 on my hair.

419
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,513
I was hoping not to touch it
till next week.

420
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,300
-Don't touch my arm, bitch!
CROWD: Oh!

421
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:50,129
Oh, I shouldn't touch your arm?

422
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:53,523
Maybe you shouldn't
touch my guy.

423
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,264
CROWD: [gasps]

424
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:58,267
Finally,
this party's getting good.

425
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,661
[quietly]
Push me back.

426
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,228
CROWD: Oh!

427
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,186
Did you just push me?

428
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,146
Yeah, I pushed you,

429
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,366
but not as hard as
your boyfriend

430
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:13,587
was pushing me
in the back of the car.

431
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,677
Oh, hell no, bitch!

432
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,853
-Now--
CROWD: OH!

433
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:22,813
I told you not to touch my hair!

434
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,076
CROWD: Oh!
-Oh, my God!

435
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,862
She's got a freakin' knife!

436
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,951
All right, I'm out,

437
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,127
but only because...

438
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,998
I'm on parole

439
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:37,872
for pulling out a woman's bangs
on the F Train.

440
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:40,004
Let's get out of here, Ange.

441
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,658
Is my hair dented?

442
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:45,271
I'll fix it, hun.
I got a chopstick in my purse.

443
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,841
Get over here,
you sloppy second.

444
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,147
Wow.

445
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,889
I kind of like having
a knight in shining--

446
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:57,413
what is this, aluminum foil?

447
00:19:57,457 --> 00:20:00,111
Well, it is warming up
the ravioli I put in my bra.

448
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,809
[George Michael's
"Careless Whisper"]

449
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,898
Max, can I have this dance?

450
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:08,990
♪

451
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:11,688
So you think you and I
would have dated in high school?

452
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,822
Well, when I was in high school,
you were in your 30s,

453
00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,040
so...

454
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,955
yeah, that sounds right.

455
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:21,655
I just convinced Angelo
to let us rent the back office.

456
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:24,223
I mean, I may have
to be his date to the Auto Show.

457
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:26,181
Wear something nice.

458
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,183
Like a silk blouse

459
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,054
or a bikini.

460
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:31,273
♪

461
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,884
He wants to show me off.

462
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,584
I never went
to anything like this.

463
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,107
A reunion or a prom

464
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,065
or a class.

465
00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:42,458
What do you do at these things?

466
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,113
MICHAEL:
♪ I'm never gonna dance again

467
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:48,508
♪ Guilty feet have got
no rhythm ♪

468
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,945
♪ Though it's easy to pretend

469
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,513
♪ I know you're not a fool
[cash register dings]