1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:03,837 Now the story of a wealthy 2 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,214 family who lost everything... 3 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,674 and the one son who had no choice... 4 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,801 but to keep them all together. 5 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,975 It's Arrested Development. 6 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,812 [Man Narrating] Michael 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,022 Bluth had called a meeting... 8 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,982 with the family's longtime attorney... 9 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,318 to discuss his father's incarceration. 10 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:31,031 I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay. 11 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,365 But he was finding it 12 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,617 difficult to get any answers. 13 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,160 - How long was I on the 14 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,620 phone? - Twenty-five minutes. 15 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,288 With the cell phone charges, I'm 16 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,915 gonna round it out to about an hour... 17 00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,709 'cause it's easier to bill... all right. 18 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,461 - Anything else to go over? - 19 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,421 [Michael] We've got everything else to go over. 20 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,256 We haven't done anything 21 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,966 to get my dad out of jail. 22 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,888 Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? 23 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,681 Because no 40-year-old 24 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,391 woman should look like that. 25 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:01,061 Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. 26 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,562 [Narrator] He was, however, 27 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:03,980 getting along with his sister... 28 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,274 which was unwelcome news to their mother... 29 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,735 who feared this unity might be used against her. 30 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,695 [Attorney] I do have some big news. 31 00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:12,071 It's going to cost you a little 32 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,615 money... 20,000, something like that. 33 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:16,075 The courts have agreed to 34 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,453 let your father out of prison. 35 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,455 - This is a lawyer! - He's a master! 36 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,624 For the entire afternoon. 37 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,251 What do you mean "afternoon"? What afternoon? 38 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,961 The day before Christmas, in time 39 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,588 for the Living Classics Pageant... 40 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:29,756 because I know how 41 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,132 important that is to all of you. 42 00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:32,467 [Narrator] The Living Classics 43 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,093 Pageant, an Orange County tradition... 44 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,970 consists oflive 45 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,722 representations of classic works of art. 46 00:01:37,805 --> 00:01:39,182 The Bluth family has 47 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,725 participated not only as a patron... 48 00:01:40,808 --> 00:01:42,393 but as an integral part of 49 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,020 its most popular exhibit... 50 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:47,732 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 51 00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,901 I don't really want to be Adam this year. 52 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,152 Well, if you want to play 53 00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:52,445 Eve, you got to get in line... 54 00:01:52,528 --> 00:01:55,031 behind, what, about five homos. 55 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:58,409 That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. 56 00:01:58,534 --> 00:01:59,660 It's just that I have one 57 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:00,828 down at the office now... 58 00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:03,039 and, I mean, it is every day. 59 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,041 I would be happy to play Adam. 60 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,959 I'd prefer a speaking part... 61 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,544 - Please don't speak for the 62 00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,087 rest of the meeting. - { Chuckles] 63 00:02:10,212 --> 00:02:11,672 - Zing! - No, no, 64 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,257 seriously. I don't want to play Adam. 65 00:02:13,257 --> 00:02:14,467 Buster, every year we go 66 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,760 through this song and dance... 67 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:18,095 and every year you say, "Thank 68 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,347 you, Mama, for making me play Adam." 69 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,849 - You're doing it. - 70 00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:23,392 [Narrator] This concerned Buster... 71 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,643 as he'd been secretly dating 72 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,853 his mother's best friend... 73 00:02:25,936 --> 00:02:28,939 and chief social rival, Lucille Austero. 74 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,442 Can't we just stay here and play poker again? 75 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,651 You can bet your vertigo 76 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,153 medicine against my anxiety pills. 77 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,946 No. Buster, for God's 78 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,740 sake, there is music to hear... 79 00:02:37,781 --> 00:02:40,326 places to go, envy to stir. 80 00:02:40,409 --> 00:02:43,203 Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. 81 00:02:43,203 --> 00:02:45,748 We are going out, and that is that! 82 00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:48,792 - Oh. - Oh, Buster. Okay, I'm okay. 83 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:50,711 I'm okay. 84 00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:52,713 Okay. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 85 00:02:52,838 --> 00:02:54,047 - We'll talk about this money 86 00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:55,424 later in the week. - Excuse me. 87 00:02:55,424 --> 00:02:56,967 We're not going to pay $20,000 88 00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:58,469 to get my Dad out for one day. 89 00:02:58,552 --> 00:03:00,220 No. It's a bond. It's all 90 00:03:00,304 --> 00:03:01,972 refundable, unlike my time. 91 00:03:02,055 --> 00:03:04,016 It's been a complete waste of two hours, okay? 92 00:03:04,099 --> 00:03:05,976 We're just not going to do it, and that's that. 93 00:03:06,059 --> 00:03:07,603 - Are you writing two hours? - 94 00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:09,187 No, I'm taking notes on the case. 95 00:03:09,271 --> 00:03:10,355 - Let me just see what you 96 00:03:10,439 --> 00:03:11,773 just wrote. - You're scaring me. 97 00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:14,067 just leave it alone! It is a gift 98 00:03:14,151 --> 00:03:16,320 from a client! Ruining a good meeting. 99 00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:19,489 - Barry's very good. - He's an idiot. 100 00:03:19,573 --> 00:03:20,615 Exactly. We're not trying 101 00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:21,783 to get Dad out for a night. 102 00:03:21,825 --> 00:03:23,702 We're trying to get him out for good. 103 00:03:23,785 --> 00:03:25,078 We're gonna get a new lawyer. I 104 00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:26,663 actually know of one who's available. 105 00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,582 His name's WayneJarvis. He's a top guy. 106 00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:29,708 [Narrator] 107 00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:31,126 WayneJarvis had become famous... 108 00:03:31,168 --> 00:03:33,086 after an employment discrimination suit... 109 00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,629 against the family's current 110 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:36,131 attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn. 111 00:03:36,214 --> 00:03:37,799 It'll be a long time before Barry 112 00:03:37,883 --> 00:03:39,426 Zuckerkorn calls anyone a homo again. 113 00:03:39,509 --> 00:03:40,844 You know, I am really happy 114 00:03:40,927 --> 00:03:42,262 that you two are in agreement... 115 00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:44,389 but we're not getting rid of Barry. 116 00:03:44,472 --> 00:03:47,475 He's like family, and you can't fire family. 117 00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:50,478 Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby. 118 00:03:50,562 --> 00:03:52,939 Maeby, where have you been? 119 00:03:52,981 --> 00:03:54,691 You left me at home. You do 120 00:03:54,774 --> 00:03:56,318 remember you have a daughter, right? 121 00:03:56,401 --> 00:03:58,528 Uh, yes, of course we remember... 122 00:03:58,611 --> 00:04:00,530 and we were worried sick, young lady. 123 00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:02,866 She's fine. Our daughter's 124 00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:05,160 all right, everybody, so... 125 00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:06,745 - You said you didn't want her to 126 00:04:06,828 --> 00:04:07,829 come. 127 00:04:07,912 --> 00:04:09,330 - I said I didn't want you to come 128 00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,249 - Oh, that makes more sense. - Now she's 129 00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:13,084 going to think we're totally self-involved. 130 00:04:13,168 --> 00:04:14,752 I can fix this. Buster's 131 00:04:14,836 --> 00:04:16,337 probably still in the lobby. 132 00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:17,881 Let me go see if I can't get 133 00:04:17,964 --> 00:04:19,299 him to give me the part of Adam. 134 00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:20,758 - And I'll see if I can get some 135 00:04:20,842 --> 00:04:22,343 money from my mom. - [Lucille] Lupe.! 136 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:24,304 There are some juice glasses on the sofa table. 137 00:04:24,387 --> 00:04:26,389 [Lindsay] Mama, I'll help you clean up. 138 00:04:26,472 --> 00:04:28,266 There are some salad plates on the piano. 139 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:29,809 Wow. What a party. You 140 00:04:29,892 --> 00:04:31,227 make it seem so effortless. 141 00:04:31,311 --> 00:04:33,313 What do you need money for? A divorce? 142 00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:36,065 No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. 143 00:04:36,149 --> 00:04:38,276 - It's my credit card debt. - Forget it. 144 00:04:38,359 --> 00:04:40,153 Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me. 145 00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:41,946 Maybe if you get him drunk. It's 146 00:04:42,029 --> 00:04:43,656 the only way he'll give money... 147 00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:46,617 to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom." 148 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:50,371 - He said that about me? - I thought it was harsh. 149 00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:51,998 But, you know, he thinks 150 00:04:52,081 --> 00:04:53,583 you're completely irresponsible. 151 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:56,335 A stay-in-bed mom. 152 00:04:56,419 --> 00:04:59,672 Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. 153 00:04:59,755 --> 00:05:01,591 His words. 154 00:05:01,674 --> 00:05:04,093 - I can't believe him. - I know.! 155 00:05:04,176 --> 00:05:07,138 just when you were getting along so well. 156 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,602 They've got to be kidding me. 157 00:05:18,107 --> 00:05:19,984 [Narrator] Michael's brother Gob, meanwhile... 158 00:05:20,109 --> 00:05:22,153 had missed the meeting that morning 159 00:05:22,236 --> 00:05:24,196 after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. 160 00:05:24,321 --> 00:05:26,991 ? : Te quiero.! 161 00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:29,702 - English, please. - I love you. 162 00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:31,912 Great. Now I'm late. 163 00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:33,205 [Narrator] And while Gob took 164 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,456 his girlfriend for granted... 165 00:05:34,456 --> 00:05:37,126 Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her. 166 00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:38,419 [Man On Tape] That is not 167 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:39,837 something I can bring to my boss. 168 00:05:39,878 --> 00:05:42,089 [Narrator] Unfortunately, the one tape 169 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,300 he could find was oflittle use to him. 170 00:05:44,341 --> 00:05:45,342 [Woman] Are you going to 171 00:05:45,426 --> 00:05:46,552 the complimentary breakfast? 172 00:05:46,635 --> 00:05:48,971 - [Speaking Spanish] - That'll get her hot. 173 00:05:49,054 --> 00:05:50,514 Well, if it isn't the boy 174 00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:52,016 who lives under the stairs. 175 00:05:52,099 --> 00:05:53,100 - Hey, Gob. - What are 176 00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:54,268 you doing, learning Spanish? 177 00:05:54,351 --> 00:05:56,687 Nope. It's, uh... It's 178 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,981 something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah. 179 00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:04,528 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster was 180 00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:05,904 trying to get George Michael... 181 00:06:05,904 --> 00:06:07,239 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster was 182 00:06:07,322 --> 00:06:08,615 trying to get George Michael... 183 00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:11,118 to take his place as Adam. 184 00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:13,495 I don't know, Uncle Buster. 185 00:06:13,579 --> 00:06:14,746 - Well, you don't have the 186 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,290 "frontspiece" yet. - "Frontspiece"? 187 00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:18,667 Look, I don't want to go through a whole song 188 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:21,003 and dance with you. You're going to love it. 189 00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:23,088 You just can't do anything that violates the 190 00:06:23,171 --> 00:06:25,048 original painting, like giggling or itching. 191 00:06:25,132 --> 00:06:26,967 They do allow some nervous crying, 192 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,844 but you can tell they don't like it. 193 00:06:28,927 --> 00:06:30,429 [Narrator] And Maeby was teaching her 194 00:06:30,512 --> 00:06:32,055 parents a lesson for forgetting her... 195 00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:34,683 Who knows how long I'll be gone? 196 00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:37,477 when she spotted George Michael. 197 00:06:37,561 --> 00:06:40,313 Nice pecs. Got a kickin' bod. 198 00:06:40,397 --> 00:06:42,315 Thus, George Michael found a 199 00:06:42,399 --> 00:06:44,234 compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on. 200 00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:45,443 { Ringing] 201 00:06:45,527 --> 00:06:47,445 Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn. 202 00:06:47,529 --> 00:06:49,239 It's Michael Bluth for Barry. 203 00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,199 - { Whispers] I'm not here. - 204 00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,076 Barry's not here. Can I give her a message? 205 00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:54,369 Tell her she needs to whisper 206 00:06:54,452 --> 00:06:55,579 a little softer next time... 207 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:58,456 and I'm not paying for this phone call. 208 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:01,251 I am not a girl, you bow-tied... 209 00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:02,544 Go on. Call me 210 00:07:02,627 --> 00:07:04,004 something. I'm redoing my kitchen. 211 00:07:04,087 --> 00:07:07,048 That's it. I've had it with this jerk Barry. 212 00:07:07,132 --> 00:07:08,591 I'm going to make Mom sit down with 213 00:07:08,675 --> 00:07:10,093 Wayne whether she likes it or not. 214 00:07:10,176 --> 00:07:11,678 - You're the jerk. - Did I just wake 215 00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:13,221 you up? I didn't know you were home. 216 00:07:13,304 --> 00:07:16,057 No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day. 217 00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:17,142 [Narrator] Actually, 218 00:07:17,225 --> 00:07:18,643 Lindsay was so upset at Michael... 219 00:07:18,726 --> 00:07:21,771 that she tried meditating to calm herself... 220 00:07:21,855 --> 00:07:24,607 but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. 221 00:07:24,691 --> 00:07:26,860 Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough. 222 00:07:26,943 --> 00:07:28,528 Where is all this coming from? 223 00:07:28,611 --> 00:07:30,113 I thought we were getting along. 224 00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:31,573 Yeah, so did I. And now I 225 00:07:31,656 --> 00:07:33,032 hear you're telling our mother... 226 00:07:33,116 --> 00:07:34,867 that I'm completely 227 00:07:34,951 --> 00:07:36,619 irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom. 228 00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:38,579 That doesn't even sound like me. 229 00:07:38,663 --> 00:07:41,708 That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. 230 00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:42,917 - Could be Bruce Vilanch. - 231 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,085 Then why would she say it? 232 00:07:44,168 --> 00:07:45,461 - Because we're getting along. 233 00:07:45,545 --> 00:07:46,754 - Because we're friends again. 234 00:07:46,838 --> 00:07:48,089 You gotta remember Mom 235 00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:49,715 typically has nothing in her system... 236 00:07:49,799 --> 00:07:51,759 except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill. 237 00:07:51,843 --> 00:07:54,053 Speaking of which... 238 00:07:54,137 --> 00:07:55,304 [Narrator] Michael and 239 00:07:55,388 --> 00:07:56,556 Lindsay proceeded to drink... 240 00:07:56,639 --> 00:07:58,516 and air their grievances about their mother. 241 00:07:58,599 --> 00:08:00,434 She's always trying to get me to 242 00:08:00,518 --> 00:08:02,270 admit that my marriage isn't working. 243 00:08:02,353 --> 00:08:03,688 - And how's it going with you 244 00:08:03,771 --> 00:08:05,106 and Tobias? - It's not working. 245 00:08:05,189 --> 00:08:06,774 And that's why I wanted her 246 00:08:06,857 --> 00:08:08,401 help with my credit card debt. 247 00:08:08,484 --> 00:08:09,860 I'm trying to take at least some 248 00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:11,362 of the pressure off this marriage. 249 00:08:11,445 --> 00:08:13,155 And if anything, it's worse 250 00:08:13,239 --> 00:08:14,865 now that we're sharing a bedroom. 251 00:08:14,949 --> 00:08:17,743 You guys were not sharing a bedroom before? 252 00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:20,162 Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on. 253 00:08:20,246 --> 00:08:22,331 What's the deal with the cutoffs? 254 00:08:23,499 --> 00:08:25,584 You've got to promise not to tell anyone this. 255 00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:29,380 - Okay. - He's a never-nude. 256 00:08:29,463 --> 00:08:31,799 Is that exactly what it sounds like? 257 00:08:31,882 --> 00:08:33,050 [Narrator] Tobias suffered a 258 00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:34,468 rare psychological affliction... 259 00:08:34,552 --> 00:08:37,137 of never being able to be completely naked. 260 00:08:37,221 --> 00:08:40,140 Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder? 261 00:08:40,224 --> 00:08:42,184 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need 262 00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,144 you to be completely undressed. 263 00:08:44,228 --> 00:08:47,231 I am completely undressed. 264 00:08:47,314 --> 00:08:49,566 I thought he just liked cutoffs. 265 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:50,651 - Me too 266 00:08:50,734 --> 00:08:51,944 What about you? What's 267 00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:53,195 going on with your love life? 268 00:08:53,278 --> 00:08:55,197 Have you even met anyone since your wife? 269 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,782 That is the one subject I am 270 00:08:56,865 --> 00:08:58,242 not eager to talk about, Lindsay. 271 00:08:58,325 --> 00:09:00,619 I love Marta. 272 00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:03,580 - Mom's housekeeper? - Gob's girlfriend. 273 00:09:03,664 --> 00:09:06,166 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 274 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,127 Listen. You're a great guy, 275 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,045 and if she doesn't see that... 276 00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:11,672 - Then someone else will. - You 277 00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:13,298 know what else, Lindsay? You're great. 278 00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:15,384 And I'm gonna move some money around 279 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,427 if it's gonna help you get out of debt. 280 00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:18,929 - No, Michael. - Yeah. 281 00:09:19,012 --> 00:09:20,764 The hell with Mom. And here. Mom's 282 00:09:20,847 --> 00:09:22,558 never gonna get between us again. 283 00:09:22,641 --> 00:09:23,976 [Narrator] The next day, Buster, 284 00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:25,435 having pawned off playing Adam... 285 00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:26,979 went to Lucille 2 to ask 286 00:09:27,062 --> 00:09:28,480 her out for Christmas Eve. 287 00:09:28,563 --> 00:09:30,607 That is terrific 'cause I 288 00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:32,693 got two tickets to the pageant! 289 00:09:32,776 --> 00:09:34,653 { Clears Throat] My... My 290 00:09:34,736 --> 00:09:36,530 mother's going to be there. 291 00:09:36,613 --> 00:09:37,614 [Narrator] And George 292 00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:38,865 Michael was trying to pass... 293 00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:40,158 - As a more muscular boy than 294 00:09:40,242 --> 00:09:41,535 he actually was. - One hundred. 295 00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:43,620 One hundred? I had you at 10. 296 00:09:43,703 --> 00:09:45,497 I did some earlier in the day. It's a 297 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,332 running total. So what's with the suitcase? 298 00:09:47,415 --> 00:09:48,750 It's a little test to 299 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:50,085 get my parents to notice me. 300 00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:51,169 You ever get the feeling 301 00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:52,295 like no one even sees you? 302 00:09:52,379 --> 00:09:56,675 I've got a really good body, so... no. 303 00:09:56,758 --> 00:09:58,885 Hey, gang. What you doing? 304 00:09:58,969 --> 00:10:00,720 Just packing up. Packing it on up. 305 00:10:00,804 --> 00:10:01,805 - Uh-huh 306 00:10:01,888 --> 00:10:04,099 Listen, can I talk to you alone for a moment? 307 00:10:04,182 --> 00:10:05,892 I'll leave you two alone here. 308 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:08,728 Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you. 309 00:10:08,812 --> 00:10:11,356 Maeby, can we have the room? 310 00:10:11,898 --> 00:10:13,858 So, as you know, I was hoping 311 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,860 to play Adam in this thing... 312 00:10:15,944 --> 00:10:19,989 and I want you to know that I am not threatened. 313 00:10:20,115 --> 00:10:22,367 You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam. 314 00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:24,577 Give me the suit. Give me the suit. 315 00:10:24,661 --> 00:10:26,538 I'm actually wearing it right 316 00:10:26,579 --> 00:10:28,373 now, and I can't tell you why. 317 00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:30,375 You're wearing it right now? 318 00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:31,793 I have to wear it all the 319 00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:33,169 time. You'd never understand. 320 00:10:33,294 --> 00:10:36,631 Oh, please. I'll never under... 321 00:10:36,756 --> 00:10:38,633 I'll never understand... 322 00:10:38,716 --> 00:10:40,510 that you can never be nude? 323 00:10:46,808 --> 00:10:50,770 I understand more than you'll never know. 324 00:10:57,276 --> 00:10:59,153 Yikes. 325 00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:00,738 [Narrator] Michael finally arranged 326 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,240 a meeting with attorney WayneJarvis. 327 00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:03,616 Looking for a more professional 328 00:11:03,699 --> 00:11:04,992 approach to our representation. 329 00:11:04,992 --> 00:11:06,327 Well, I'm a professional. 330 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,912 - I'm serious, and I'm a 331 00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:09,413 professional. - That's fantastic. 332 00:11:09,497 --> 00:11:10,665 - So how long have you been 333 00:11:10,748 --> 00:11:11,749 practicing... 334 00:11:11,832 --> 00:11:13,084 - I also don't like small talk 335 00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:14,877 I find that unprofessional. Why 336 00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:16,629 should I be billing you for small talk... 337 00:11:16,712 --> 00:11:18,631 when I'm enjoying it as much as you are? 338 00:11:18,714 --> 00:11:20,257 Then this must be a 339 00:11:20,341 --> 00:11:21,801 freebie 'cause I'm having a ball. 340 00:11:21,884 --> 00:11:23,052 { Chuckles] When you're ready 341 00:11:23,135 --> 00:11:24,428 to get serious, give me a call. 342 00:11:24,512 --> 00:11:26,764 No, no! No, I'm sorry. I'm 343 00:11:26,847 --> 00:11:29,016 sorry. I'm serious. I'm ready. 344 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,018 Good. If you retain my services, I 345 00:11:31,102 --> 00:11:32,937 will get your father out of jail... 346 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:34,146 and we will be countersuing 347 00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:35,314 before the end of the year. 348 00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:36,690 We're gonna get this company's 349 00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:38,067 name back to where it started. 350 00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:39,527 - Or hopefully higher. - I didn't 351 00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:40,945 say that. Don't hold me to that. 352 00:11:41,028 --> 00:11:42,947 I won't, and I appreciate 353 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,823 that to a wonderful degree. 354 00:11:44,907 --> 00:11:47,326 My mother is on her way up here... 355 00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:49,245 and she's resistant to the 356 00:11:49,328 --> 00:11:51,080 idea of hiring a new attorney. 357 00:11:51,163 --> 00:11:52,373 If she even sees you, she 358 00:11:52,456 --> 00:11:53,791 probably won't come in the room. 359 00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:56,377 I shall duck behind the couch. 360 00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:58,921 - What a pro. - [Bell Dings] 361 00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,547 - Michael. - Hi. 362 00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:02,216 I need to get the money to get 363 00:12:02,299 --> 00:12:03,884 your father out for the pageant. 364 00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:05,636 Actually, that's not why I called 365 00:12:05,719 --> 00:12:07,346 you here today, and I'm not doing that. 366 00:12:07,429 --> 00:12:08,722 I gave that money to Lindsay 367 00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:10,140 to pay off her credit card debt. 368 00:12:10,224 --> 00:12:11,975 - What'd she do, get you 369 00:12:12,059 --> 00:12:13,727 drunk? - No, we just, uh, well... 370 00:12:13,811 --> 00:12:16,438 We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that? 371 00:12:16,522 --> 00:12:18,440 Because that's what she said she'd do. 372 00:12:18,524 --> 00:12:20,108 I said you wouldn't give her the money, 373 00:12:20,192 --> 00:12:21,944 and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." 374 00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,195 Probably because she 375 00:12:23,278 --> 00:12:24,488 thinks you're a cheap bastard. 376 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,573 Oh. Her words. 377 00:12:26,657 --> 00:12:28,617 She set me up? 378 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,036 All that stuff about her marital 379 00:12:31,119 --> 00:12:33,455 troubles and Tobias being a never-nude? 380 00:12:33,538 --> 00:12:37,459 A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs. 381 00:12:37,542 --> 00:12:38,669 How do you treat somebody in 382 00:12:38,752 --> 00:12:39,878 your own family like that... 383 00:12:39,961 --> 00:12:42,172 lying and deceiving and saying 384 00:12:42,255 --> 00:12:44,341 anything just to get your own way? 385 00:12:44,424 --> 00:12:46,802 So what did you want to see me about? 386 00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:47,886 - Hmm 387 00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:51,515 Oh, um, there's a big bowl of candy in my office. 388 00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:52,974 - Why don't you go eat it? - 389 00:12:53,058 --> 00:12:54,351 WayneJarvis, attorney at law. 390 00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:56,603 I have a responsibility to tell you 391 00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:58,772 that there is no candy in this office. 392 00:12:58,855 --> 00:13:01,316 Lindsay. 393 00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:04,945 - What are you doing here? - 394 00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:06,363 I had to get away from Marta. 395 00:13:06,488 --> 00:13:08,865 If I have to smell another meal of fish, 396 00:13:08,949 --> 00:13:11,326 rice and mango, I'm gonna kill somebody. 397 00:13:11,409 --> 00:13:13,203 - Now Michael's learning Spanish. 398 00:13:13,286 --> 00:13:14,954 What's up with that? - Oh, who knows? 399 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,081 He won't get your father 400 00:13:16,122 --> 00:13:17,123 out of jail for a night. 401 00:13:17,207 --> 00:13:19,000 He's bringing in a new attorney. 402 00:13:19,084 --> 00:13:20,085 - New attorney 403 00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:23,088 And he's learning Spanish? 404 00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:25,173 He's hiding something. 405 00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:27,884 And I intend to find out what it is. 406 00:13:27,967 --> 00:13:31,554 Do yourself a favor. Get him drunk. 407 00:13:37,477 --> 00:13:39,479 { Scoffs] Barry. 408 00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:43,274 I see you're getting closer to our attorney. 409 00:13:43,358 --> 00:13:45,193 Well, I just want you to know that I 410 00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:46,986 won't be needing your help after all. 411 00:13:47,111 --> 00:13:49,447 My brother Michael came through as 412 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:51,783 he always does and as you never do. 413 00:13:51,908 --> 00:13:53,910 Whatever it takes to get your 414 00:13:53,993 --> 00:13:55,953 relationship with that never-nude back on track. 415 00:13:57,997 --> 00:14:00,374 - Michael told you that? - He couldn't wait to. 416 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,667 [Narrator] And later, while 417 00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:03,127 Michael was meeting with Wayne... 418 00:14:03,169 --> 00:14:04,837 My thing with Tobias was a secret like 419 00:14:04,921 --> 00:14:06,506 you stealing your brother's girlfriend! 420 00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:07,965 - I open up to you, and you 421 00:14:08,049 --> 00:14:09,383 run and tell Mommy! - Excuse me. 422 00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:11,260 Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. 423 00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:13,221 Like it all wasn't just lies to get me to 424 00:14:13,262 --> 00:14:15,181 pay that debt. Isn't that why you got me drunk? 425 00:14:15,223 --> 00:14:16,307 - I got you drunk. - Mom 426 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:17,683 told me about your little plan. 427 00:14:17,725 --> 00:14:19,352 - What plan? I had a great 428 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:20,978 time last night! - So did I! 429 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:23,064 Then why are we yelling at each other? 430 00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:24,148 - Mom 431 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:27,652 - Unbelievable. - She did it again. 432 00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,195 - All right. We've got to 433 00:14:29,278 --> 00:14:30,655 teach her a lesson. - Hmm. 434 00:14:30,738 --> 00:14:32,698 Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were 435 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:34,658 outside having a business discussion... 436 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:35,993 and we were wondering if 437 00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:37,453 there's some sort of legal way... 438 00:14:37,495 --> 00:14:40,206 that we can humiliate our mother. 439 00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:42,541 Something shaming, something public. 440 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,251 I've used one adjective to 441 00:14:44,335 --> 00:14:45,836 describe myself. What is it? 442 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,922 Professional. 443 00:14:54,678 --> 00:14:56,597 So how are we going to screw Mom? 444 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,057 Maybe we can get Barry to help. 445 00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:59,141 - Forget it 446 00:14:59,224 --> 00:15:00,893 I think I was right about them all along. 447 00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,728 You know Barry's taking Mom to the pageant? 448 00:15:02,811 --> 00:15:04,563 - On a date? - Yeah. 449 00:15:04,647 --> 00:15:07,358 Ugh! If Dad could see her on a 450 00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:10,027 date with Barry, he'd go crazy. 451 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,821 Which would allow us to hire Wayne. 452 00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:15,032 How do you feel about staying 453 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,533 in debt just a little bit longer? 454 00:15:16,658 --> 00:15:18,327 [Narrator] So they decided to spend 455 00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:20,078 the money Michael had promised Lindsay... 456 00:15:20,162 --> 00:15:22,164 to get their father out for the 457 00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:24,166 pageant, where he'd catch his wife with Barry. 458 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,084 Maeby, too, continued to try 459 00:15:26,168 --> 00:15:27,836 to teach her parents a lesson. 460 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,254 Okay, so I printed the fake 461 00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:30,672 airline ticket from my computer. 462 00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:32,507 If my parents miss this, I 463 00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:34,301 really might go to South America. 464 00:15:34,384 --> 00:15:36,929 - That says "Portugal." - That's right. 465 00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,097 [Narrator] Maeby's parents 466 00:15:39,181 --> 00:15:41,183 didn't find the ticket, but Gob did... 467 00:15:41,266 --> 00:15:43,226 "Portugal." 468 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,687 which confirmed his suspicions. 469 00:15:45,771 --> 00:15:47,105 Gonna live it up down old 470 00:15:47,189 --> 00:15:48,398 South America way, huh, Mikey? 471 00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:51,777 And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes. 472 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,528 You ready to show me off 473 00:15:53,612 --> 00:15:55,238 before God and the whole world? 474 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,532 It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about. 475 00:15:57,616 --> 00:15:59,659 And George Michael finally saw the 476 00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:01,703 painting he was going to be re-creating. 477 00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:05,498 ?? [Hip-hop] 478 00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:09,085 And then what "frontspiece"meant. 479 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,427 George Sr. got his 24 hours of 480 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,929 freedom as the pageant finally began. 481 00:16:20,055 --> 00:16:21,931 You know, I saw you do this when 482 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,767 I was a kid. I was so impressed. 483 00:16:23,892 --> 00:16:27,812 You know, you were so still and godlike. 484 00:16:27,937 --> 00:16:29,105 It was at that moment that 485 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,273 I knew I would be a dancer. 486 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,777 Glad I could make a difference. 487 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,195 Michael and Lindsay searched the 488 00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:36,738 crowd for their mother and Barry... 489 00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:38,490 so they could revel in the 490 00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,241 public shaming they had engineered. 491 00:16:40,325 --> 00:16:42,243 Mom, what the hell are you doing? 492 00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:45,288 But instead they found her with Wayne. 493 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,248 I don't have to answer that. 494 00:16:47,332 --> 00:16:48,416 I don't know which one of 495 00:16:48,499 --> 00:16:49,667 you I'm more disappointed in. 496 00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:51,794 No, it's Wayne. Wayne... 497 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,505 - I have needs. I am a man! - Hey, watch... 498 00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:55,923 What's the difference? Your 499 00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:57,342 father doesn't care about me. 500 00:16:57,425 --> 00:16:58,634 Barry tells me he's not even 501 00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,886 trying to get out of prison. 502 00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:02,722 - Mom, he's here. Dad's here. - He's here? 503 00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:05,141 - Yeah, he's here. - Why did you do this? 504 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,392 - We were trying to teach 505 00:17:06,476 --> 00:17:07,602 you a lesson. - You idiots.! 506 00:17:07,685 --> 00:17:09,270 - If he sees me with Wayne... 507 00:17:09,353 --> 00:17:10,855 - We'll be stuck with Barry. 508 00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:13,941 I shall duck behind that little garbage car. 509 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,152 Guy's a pro. 510 00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,154 [Man On P.A.] And now, ladies and gentlemen... 511 00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,990 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 512 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:24,285 [Narrator] And George Michael made his debut... 513 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,787 Hey, that's my... Yikes. 514 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:27,914 - Breaking the pageant's 515 00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,248 cardinal rule. - [Crowd Booing] 516 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,916 How dare he! 517 00:17:30,999 --> 00:17:33,961 Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. 518 00:17:34,045 --> 00:17:38,007 There are dozens of us. Dozens! 519 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,176 Buster arrived with Lucille Austero... 520 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,136 and naturally assumed the yells of 521 00:17:42,219 --> 00:17:44,054 disgust were directed toward him. 522 00:17:44,138 --> 00:17:46,223 - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you? 523 00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,476 Buster? 524 00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:50,561 Oh, God! I'm sorry. 525 00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:53,939 I'm sorry, Lucille. Yeah. Lucille. 526 00:17:54,023 --> 00:17:55,983 Ma, I'm sorry! 527 00:17:56,066 --> 00:17:58,360 Man! That old lady has really 528 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,654 done a number on you, hasn't she? 529 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,574 But George Michael wasn't the 530 00:18:03,657 --> 00:18:05,200 only problem with the painting. 531 00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:07,911 - Where is God? - There is no God! 532 00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:13,125 There goes my credit card payment. 533 00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:15,461 Dad! Dad! 534 00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:17,546 Hey! Dad! 535 00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:21,592 - Excuse me. - Dad! 536 00:18:21,717 --> 00:18:23,552 Hey, Dad, get back here! 537 00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,304 - No! I'm not going back 538 00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:27,306 Dad, come here! 539 00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:31,393 - Dad! - Michael, I'm onto you. 540 00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:34,146 The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. 541 00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:36,148 - If you're heading for Portugal, 542 00:18:36,231 --> 00:18:38,066 it's due south! - What? No, it isn't. 543 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,861 Dad, you're not gonna outrun me in that dress. 544 00:18:40,944 --> 00:18:42,904 - Let go! For God's sakes, I'm not even 545 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,865 wearing a jock. - Dad, are you going too? 546 00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,163 No one is going to Portugal, you idiot! 547 00:18:51,288 --> 00:18:52,914 Lindsay and I broke Dad out of 548 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,541 jail for a day to catch Mom on a date. 549 00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:57,377 Your mother is on a date? Oh. 550 00:18:57,461 --> 00:18:58,712 Dad! 551 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:02,174 - Oh, oh. - { Buzzing] 552 00:19:02,299 --> 00:19:03,592 - [Michael] Dad? - [Narrator] 553 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,135 And so, many in the Bluth family... 554 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:08,096 gathered together for Christmas Eve... at prison. 555 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,472 - Hey, where'd your muscle 556 00:19:09,556 --> 00:19:10,807 suit go? - Wait. You knew? 557 00:19:10,891 --> 00:19:12,267 Yeah. 558 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:14,185 I took it off. 559 00:19:17,147 --> 00:19:19,065 You did? 560 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:25,322 You have made some tremendous strides today. 561 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,992 Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter? 562 00:19:29,117 --> 00:19:31,411 Only when I'm around my children. 563 00:19:31,494 --> 00:19:33,455 You reach a certain age, and you have 564 00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:35,373 to practically scream to get noticed. 565 00:19:35,498 --> 00:19:37,459 They turn you into a 566 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,377 monster, and then they call you one. 567 00:19:39,461 --> 00:19:41,880 I don't think you're a monster. 568 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,882 And I think you're a lovely girl. 569 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,259 You know what? 570 00:19:46,301 --> 00:19:47,510 I think you and I ought to 571 00:19:47,594 --> 00:19:48,720 spend more time together. 572 00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,972 Yeah. 573 00:19:52,181 --> 00:19:55,768 - That'll drive them crazy. - Exactly. 574 00:19:55,893 --> 00:19:56,894 [Narrator] And Michael 575 00:19:56,936 --> 00:19:58,062 was forced to, once again... 576 00:19:58,104 --> 00:20:00,606 call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn. 577 00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:01,774 Thank you. Thank you for 578 00:20:01,858 --> 00:20:03,026 coming down on Christmas Eve. 579 00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:04,777 Oh, it's like any other 580 00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:06,404 day, except that I bill double. 581 00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:08,614 So, they're not filing charges. 582 00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:10,950 I got them to call your flee 583 00:20:11,033 --> 00:20:13,244 from justice "religious expression." 584 00:20:13,327 --> 00:20:14,704 - This is a lawyer. - 585 00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:16,080 Yeah, he's... he's very good. 586 00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:17,748 You're gonna have to forfeit 587 00:20:17,832 --> 00:20:19,333 that bond. I was way off about that. 588 00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,502 Thanks again, Mikey. 589 00:20:23,963 --> 00:20:26,382 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 590 00:20:26,507 --> 00:20:29,510 Are all the guys in here, you know... 591 00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:32,430 Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them. 592 00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:35,933 Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. 593 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,646 - Hope? - Think. 594 00:20:40,771 --> 00:20:42,606 - How'd it go? - Well, the bad 595 00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,442 news is you're in debt again... 596 00:20:44,525 --> 00:20:45,860 and we never busted Mom, 597 00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:47,111 and we're stuck with Barry. 598 00:20:47,236 --> 00:20:49,363 The good news is we've been asked 599 00:20:49,447 --> 00:20:51,449 never to participate in the pageant again. 600 00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:55,077 Well, at least we're still pals, huh? 601 00:20:55,161 --> 00:20:56,162 - Yeah 602 00:20:56,954 --> 00:21:00,291 That's not really doing it for me this time. 603 00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:02,293 Yeah. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net